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It's been about 3 weeks since Bucky fully regressed for the first time in decades, and honestly, things couldn't be better. Bucky was still shy about his headspace and would often find himself aging up even when Steve was helping him go down completely- Steve was working on getting Bucky past the shy stage so that way the little can just go down in headspace whenever he felt like he needed it. They were still learning about what Bucky liked and didn't like while he was in headspace, and there was still many things Steve wanted to try, just to see what all brought Bucky down in headspace completely. But, they were going to take things slowly and at Bucky's pace.
That being said, over the past 3 weeks, Bucky has spent most of his time being his normal, big self and would only sometimes be on the verge of headspace- or, he would be in the middle of being big and little. He had only completely regressed 2 times in the past few weeks, but even then, it was only late at night when the two were winding down for bed. As it turns out, bottles and skin-to-skin contact helped Bucky regress completely, and the stuffed bear Natasha had bought him was definitely one of his comfort items- Steve had seen Bucky carrying the bear around even when he wasn't little.
Steve knew not to rush Bucky into his headspace and he didn't mind when Bucky was in the middle of big and little, he took care of Bucky either way, no matter what mental state the other man was in. But, Steve did want Bucky to be completely little for a full day- that was something he was planning on trying sometime soon, sometime within the next week or two. It would honestly help both of them. Natasha was great help, too. Anytime Steve called or texted with a question about Bucky's headspace, she would answer honestly (or to the best of her ability, depending on the question) or she would send him more articles based off of the question(s) he had.
Things were going well and although Bucky wasn't in headspace most of the time, he was still relaxed. He finally felt content after decades of torture and isolation, living with Steve has helped him realize what it was like to be cared for and just being around the other man made Bucky feel calm. Steve realized this too, but at the same time, having Bucky back in his life made him realize how uptight he had been before he found Bucky again. He hadn't realized just how badly he missed Bucky, and how much he missed caring for the little (even just caring for Bucky in general) until Bucky was in his life again. And moving out of the Avengers Tower and retiring, even if he was retiring for just a bit, helped Steve realize how much he longed for caring for Bucky.
In short, things were going the right way for the first time in a long time.
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It was a normal morning in the household- Steve woke up at 6am to get his morning run in, came home to shower and cuddle Bucky for a bit, and then eat breakfast with his boy. Bucky cleaned up after breakfast while Steve went out to mow the lawn and do some other chores outside. It was their weekly routine, Bucky would do all the inside chores while Steve did outside chores and made sure to keep the garage clean and tidy (which he never actually managed to keep clean or tidy).
The tiny home was quiet, besides the music coming from the TV in the living room while Bucky wiped down the surfaces, and the slight sound of the lawn mower in the front yard. It was peaceful. Bucky loved the days where he could clean around the house while Steve did his own thing- don't get him wrong, he loved being around Steve, but being able to clean (which is something Bucky surprisingly found himself enjoying) by himself was relaxing. Just like Steve relaxed when he was out working in the garage, too.
The two shared lunch together- Sesame chicken with a side of rice and green beans- and enjoyed each others presence before they went back to doing their own thing for a few hours. However, about mid way through lunch, Tony called and told Steve he needed to meet with him and Bucky at the tower for something urgent.
The urgency made a knot form in Bucky's stomach and he had completely lost his appetite, the feeling of hunger now replaced with a ball of anxiety. Steve didn't seem as bothered, though, he had agreed he and Bucky would be on their way within an hour.
"It's probably just him trying to convince us to go on a mission, Buck. Or he might be throwing another party. I wouldn't worry about it."
Steve tried reassuring Bucky once he saw the other man push his bowl away with an uneasy look on his face after the call ended. But Bucky couldn't not worry about it. There was a big part of his brain that knew it was most likely just Tony trying to convince Steve to join the Avengers again- he called just about every month since Steve announced his departure, to try and get Captain America back, but Steve refused. The other small part of Bucky's brain made him think something terrible was about to happen. Tony didn't even say anything snarky or make a terrible joke, that had to mean something.
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Apparently worrying was necessary- at least in Bucky's mind. After the two finished lunch and put everything away, Steve went and took a quick shower and changed into casual clothes before they were out the door and making their way to the Avengers Tower. It was a 45 minute drive and the whole time Bucky couldn't help but let his mind race. The radio was playing on a low volume, but Bucky was so zoned out that he barely heard the music playing. He didn't know why he was so worried- Tony's voice didn't hint that anything destructive had happened, or that something happened to one of the Avengers or something. So, truly, there was no reason to be so worried- just the feeling of not knowing made everything feel 10x more suspicious then needed.
When the two arrived at the tower, they were met with Clint and Thor in the communal living room, both Avengers were very welcoming to their previous roommates and even offered some liquor to help ease everyone, which Steve respectfully declined before he led Bucky to Tony's lab. It had only been a little over a year since Steve and Bucky moved out, and Bucky somehow forgot how massive the tower was; even though the two were here just last month for a party.
Upon walking into the lab, Dr. Banner and Tony sat in two spinny chairs, Tony sipped on his coffee while Bruce held a small water bottle in his hand. In front of them, there was a computer screen that showed a screenshot of a file, in the corner of the screen was a picture of Bucky from 1943- he was dressed in his military uniform with a proud smile on his face, despite the fear that ran through his body. Steve was the only person who knew how scared he was to join the war, despite the new advantages in technology and weapons.
"Well if it isn't Captain America himself!"
Tony exclaimed once he caught a glimpse of Steve in his peripheral vision, the conversation he was having with Bruce was cut off as he stood up from the uncomfortable looking chair. Bucky cowered back slightly, his smaller body hiding behind Steve as Tony got closer. He knew Tony forgave him, but it was hard to believe sometimes. Steve noticed Bucky going shy, but didn't comment on it and instead stepped forward to give Tony a small handshake. Bucky refused to meet eyes with Tony and instead looked around the huge lab, his eyes fixated on the different versions of the famous Iron Man suit.
"Hey Tony, Dr. Banner,"
Steve said, nodding his head towards Bruce, who gave a small smile while his eyes followed Bucky's slow movements around the room. He wasn't being rude or judging, not by any means, he was just observing the soldier as much as he could. Bruce has seen Bucky around the tower many times, even after he moved out, but this was the first time they would be this close together. He looked healthier- Steve was doing a good job at taking care of the ex-assassin. He was gaining weight, although he still had some ways to go, his eyes looked brighter, and overall he looked more alive than when Steve had first rescued the soldier.
"I know this is last minute, so I'll make it quick. Tony and I have been researching some possibilities to explain what happened to Bucky's body after he had escaped from Hydra,"
Bruce started, Tony was stood beside Steve as he nodded along with the other scientist. Bucky froze from where he stood just a few inches away from Steve. His eyes were blown wide as he looked at the computer screen in front of him. Hydra's technology was top of the game, and truly nothing to mess around with. It would be very surprising if Tony and Bruce actually did manage to figure out what Hydra did to make Bucky's body shrink and basically change his body.
"Now we don't know if everything we researched is 100% true-"
"But we spent weeks researching it, so it basically is completely true"
Tony interrupted, clearing his throat at the annoyed glare he got from Dr. Banner.
"Right, anyway, we got most of the information and we still might need to go back and do some more digging but we got a lot of the answers we needed."
Steve turned to look over at Bucky, who was playing with the hem of his sweatshirt- something he did when he was nervous, Steve noticed. Sensing his anxiety, Steve placed his hand on the small of Bucky's back and led him to the chair that sat in the corner. Steve sat first, then pulled Bucky into his lap so the other could curl into him. Bucky didn't know how to feel about it, he knew everyone knew they were dating, but sitting in Steve's lap was something he only did when they were alone and he felt even smaller now that he had Bruce and Tony looking at him. But he knew not to fight right now, Steve was just trying to comfort him (and even if Bucky didn't want to admit it, the feeling of Steve's arms around his waist did help calm him).
Turning around and grabbing one of the files from a side table, Tony did a quick once-over before he started reading out loud.
"As we all know, when Hydra first took Bucky he was basically their experiment doll and was their personal assassin. They brainwashed him, froze him, and tortured him for decades- which ended up having a big toll on his body. After he was given the serum, he grew. Just like Steve, except he wasn't made a superhero,"
The reminder made Bucky whimper quietly as he tucked his body closer to Steve's. He knew Tony didn't mean to sound so harsh, but it still hurt to remember everything he was forced to do while under Hydra's control.
"Before the war, Bucky was 5'9 and 168 pounds (175.26cm & 76.204kg), he was healthy, even for the time period. After given a similar version of the super-soldier serum, Bucky was 6 foot and 200 pounds (182.88cm & 90.718kg), not including the metal arm that weighed at least 30 pounds- if not more. During the 70 years Bucky spent under Hydra's control, he maintained his weight and they kept him in shape,"
Bruce nodded along as Tony read from the file while he picked up another file from the table, there were 3 files in total laid out on the table in the middle of the room.
"However, Bucky didn't get the exact same serum as you did, Mr. Rogers, so of course there were a few modifications. Such as: enhanced strength, enhanced durability, slowed aging, enhanced stamina, enhanced reflexes & agility and speed. Those are the main advantages Bucky was given with the serum. Compared to Steve's, where there were a lot more advantages. Now, when you and Bucky fought at the airport, that was just a few weeks before Hydra did their final experiment on him. Tony and I did some digging and.. we think we found what the experiment was called and what it did to Bucky."
As soon as Bruce finished his sentence Bucky turned his head to look at Steve with wide eyes. The other man was already staring at him with an intrigued look on his face as he waited for more information.
"It was called 'Project Rebirth'. Basically, they were trying to remove or drain the serum from his body. Usually when someone is drained of any serum, it doesn't end well for the person and they usually end up dead or seriously hurt. But it is Hydra, so they can be very thorough and smart about their experiments. Bucky doesn't have even half of the serum running through him anymore, which explains why his body changed so much."
Bucky was unknowingly leaning forward in Steve's lap as he took all the new information in, the grip Steve had on his hips tightened when he felt himself lean a little too close to the ground and almost falling out of the seat.
"When you brought Bucky with you, he was 5'3, barely 100 pounds, his voice had changed drastically, his muscles were basically non-existent, and his body... well, it looked more feminine and softer, in a way,"
Tony didn't exactly know how to word the last part without sounding freaked out by it, not to help the scowl he got from Bucky when he called the man's body feminine- but it was true, his skin was completely hairless besides the hair on his head, and his skin was softer in areas females would be more soft in. It was the hard truth.
"So...what does that mean? Is it going to cause problems in the future?"
Bucky asked in a small voice, his eyes darting between Bruce and Tony looking for any answer he could get.
"No, it shouldn't. The only thing that would really become a problem in the future is your weakened immune system. Steve's immune system strengthened, so he can't get sick anymore, but you can. The only big advantage that hasn't left your body is that you can age slowly- just like Steve. But, other than that, I'm afraid you're basically the same as you were before Hydra. Just a bit smaller and a big load of trauma."
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The ride home was dead silent. Bucky was still processing everything as he looked out the window and watched the setting go by. He couldn't believe it. It was almost like he was normal again, it was such a weird feeling of knowing the truth (he really hoped it was the truth, at least. Bruce and Tony were very smart people, so he would believe what they had to say).
It wasn't until the two walked into their shared home when Steve spoke first. The entire car ride he kept his hand on Bucky's thigh, just to provide comfort and make sure the other man knew he was there, but he knew to just let Bucky think everything through and make sure to give him some time to adjust to the new information.
"Buck? You okay?"
Steve was careful when he asked, his hand coming to rest on the small of Bucky's back once he had closed and locked the door behind himself. Bucky didn't look or seem upset, mainly just stuck in his head- but that was understandable. Even Steve was having a difficult time taking everything in.
"I finally got the answer I've been looking for, Stevie,"
Bucky's voice was quiet, but Steve didn't miss the small smile on his face as he looked up at Steve for the first time since they left the tower. Steve expected him to be upset or confused, but he was... happy?
"Um, yeah, bud, I guess you did,"
Steve stuttered as he slowly nodded his head in agreement. Suddenly, he was pulled into Bucky's embrace as the smaller man hugged him tightly, a small giggle escaping the body below him. Bucky was happy and content with knowing the truth, that was all that mattered.
"I guess the only thing that sucks is that I can get sick now, but I guess I have you to take care of me."
Bucky teased, a shy giggle escaping his mouth as he hugged Steve tighter and allowed himself to relax against the other man. He felt Steve laugh and lean down to press a kiss to Bucky's head of curls.
"Yes, you do, sweetheart. I promised I would take care of you, that means when you get sick, too."