Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You were always intrigued about the concept of religion. The possible existence of celestial beings and a realm of eternal punishment terrified you, but also left you wanting to know more. 

When you were younger, your mom took you to church every Sunday. You whined when she would wake you up at 8 am to get ready for the morning service. You begrudgingly got up and put on your usual dress clothes. On the 20 minute car ride, you sang along to less-than-appropriate music, to your mother’s dismay. You greatly enjoyed annoying her, lovingly of course. As time went on, you got used to this routine. You ended up looking forward to the last day of the week.

This went on until you reached early adulthood. At that point, you figured it was time you left the nest. You saved up most of your paycheck for a couple months, and started searching for apartments. Eventually, you found a cheap one bedroom about an hour from your childhood home. 

The day you moved in was exhausting. You spent all afternoon moving everything from your childhood room into the apartment. Then, you had to grab all of your new furniture from the storage facility you had been keeping it at. Luckily, your parents and friends were kind enough to help you. You were glad that they cleared out their schedules for the day - because it took forever! You ended up unpacking the last box as the sun was setting. You could tell that everyone was exhausted and wanted to get home. After they made sure you were content, they left you to your own devices.

That night, in the shower, you thought to yourself - what do I do now? You had been looking forward to this for a while. Now that you finally have your own place, you have nothing to look forward to. Having a goal in mind has always helped to keep your depression at bay… but you can’t think of anything else to work towards. Maybe you should go to college? You've always been passionate about animals, you could try studying to be a veterinarian? But you would get really sad having to witness someone's pet suffering…

Your thoughts were interrupted by you slipping and falling on your ass. 

“God dammit” After cursing in pain for a few more moments, you decided this was a sign that you should go to sleep. 

You tossed and turned in your slumber. You kept having weird nightmares, which wasn’t exactly unusual for you. You found that you often had more terrifying nightmares than peaceful dreams, but tonight was different. This time, there was one common factor in each consecutive nightmare. That being, you were ravaged by the end. Mauled by some sort of beast, one that had only two discernible features. Thick, pointy horns atop its head, and majestic wings with velvety black feathers. It was beautifully grotesque as it ate your flesh and insides.

The last dream started out with you walking in the middle of the night, shivering in the cold breeze. You weren’t in a town you recognized. There were tall, dilapidated buildings and cobweb covered food stands which lined the street. Bushes rustled and tree branches groaned from the wind. You kept walking along the cracked sidewalk until you heard footsteps behind you. As they crept closer, you sprinted ahead, not bothering to peak behind you out of fear. You needed to find a place to hide, but it was as if your legs could only carry you forward. You were resigned to your fate. 

Eventually, you felt a hand on your shoulder yanking you back. Teeth sank into your arm, the pain immeasurable. Then, it was as if you were astral projecting, helplessly watching yourself get ravaged by…whatever this thing was. When the beast rose to leave, fully revealing your corpse, you woke up. 

You shot up as you awoke, panting and sweating intensely. You tried to grip your sheets to ground yourself, but all you felt was the fuzzy texture of a carpet. You reached to the side to turn on your lamp but found nothing there. You finally looked around, only to find yourself in an unfamiliar room.

“What the-“ You rubbed your eyes, sure that you were somehow hallucinating. Except, after you cleared your vision, you still weren’t in your bedroom. It looked like you were on the set of some sort of medieval drama. Candles along the walls illuminated the area, which let you see a row of thrones in the middle of the room. Not all of them were empty. 5 seats sat 5 different men, each one with a different expression plastered on their face.

“Where am I…?” You recognized it as some sort of courtroom. The man sitting in the middle and largest throne starts speaking.

“Welcome to the Devildom,” He greets you, as if you didn’t just wake up here. “Oh, pardon me. You must be confused, right?” You sit and stare at him. Damn… He’s tall, dark and handsome. His layered, short red hair contrasts well with his beautiful golden eyes. He wears a black button up under a long red peacoat, which accentuates his waist.

Your mind shouldn’t be wandering like this. You’ve been kidnapped for heaven's sake. 

He goes on to explain that you’re in a school for demons called the “Royal Academy of Diavolo”, or RAD for short, and that you must stay here for a full year. His dream is for peace among the citizens in each world, the “Devildom”, the “Celestial Realm”, and the human world. Apparently, you aren’t the only exchange student here. There is one other human and two angels.

“Ah, how terribly rude of me! I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Diavolo! I am the ruler of all demons and the president of the student council. One day, I will be crowned king of the Devildom.”

“I’m sorry, but what the fuck are you saying? Do you really expect me to believe that I was suddenly sent to a world full of demons? Is this what kidnappers do to coerce their victim into not trying to escape?”

Somebody else speaks up, “I promise you, ma’am, that Diavolo’s intentions are pure. I don’t know how to immediately prove that we really are demons…without collateral damage… But please, I just ask that you have faith in us. Soon enough, you’ll realize that we are telling you nothing but the truth.” You look up to find a man with shiny, parted black hair. His outfit is the same as Diavolo’s, except his is entirely black. It’s like he’s the epitome of darkness.

Why do they have to be so attractive???

Diavolo pats the larger man’s shoulder, “This is Lucifer, the Avatar of Pride. He’s my right hand man. My closest confidant, as you may be able to tell. He is the vice-president of the student council.” 

Lucifer saunters up to you and sticks out one of his gloved hands, “May I help you stand up? Sitting on the floor cannot be comfortable.”

“Um, thank you, but I get up by myself.” You ignore his hand and push yourself up. As you start to straighten your back, you groan in pain. “Ugh, just give me a moment.” You twist your torso in both directions, hearing your spine pop. 

When you stop twisting, Lucifer speaks again. “Now that Diavolo is done with his explanation, I suppose I should give you this.” He reaches into his front pocket and pulls out some sort of phone. “This is called a D.D.D. Of course, your device from the human world will not work here, so this is the next best thing.” He hands it to you.

You tap on the screen and you almost laugh. As it lights up, you see that the clock reads 6:66. Is that a constant in this place or did Lucifer time this interaction perfectly? 

Lucifer’s deep voice rumbles in your ears, “You will have tasks you need to complete while you’re in the Devildom, so make sure you don’t slack off. You can find your tasks on your D.D.D.” He pauses and then speaks again, “Also, at the end of the year, you will have to write a paper on your time here.”

You glare at him, “So, you kidnap me and leave me on the ground. Then, you tell me I can’t use my own phone, which probably means I can’t contact my family. Now, you’re asking me to write a paper? This really is Hell…”

He smirks, “The Devildom, miss, not Hell.” 

“Whatever…How am I meant to survive here, anyways? I assume that most demons aren’t too fond of humans.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave you to fend for yourself. You need someone to look after you, and I think that someone should be my brother Mammon. He’s the Avatar of Greed, and he’s… actually, you’ll find out soon.”

What does that mean?

“Since Mammon is not here right now, when I explicitly told him our meeting time… We need to summon him. Now that you have your D.D.D., why don’t you go ahead and call him?” 

You’ve always hated making phone calls. You still get your parents to call your doctor or order takeout. But, you feel as if you have no choice in the matter this time. You tap on his number and inspect the contact picture. 

He’s, as you expected, very hot. That seems like a trend with these people. He has nice dark skin and his smile is perfect, a glistening white, just like his hair. He’s wearing a black and yellow zip up. It hangs off of his shoulder, exposing a white tank top underneath. He has on sunglasses with a yellow tint, so you can’t exactly see the color of his eyes. But you’re sure they’re probably equally as pretty as the rest of him. 

Well, here goes nothing. You press the call button and wait for an answer, sweat forming on your hands. On the third ring, he finally picks up. “Yo, who’s this?” His voice is deep but has an almost whiny tone. 

“U-uh I’m the human Lucifer assigned to you. You’re meant to guide me while I’m at RAD for a year.” You sound like an idiot. 

“WHAT?!? Is this a prank call? I told Levi to STOP prankin’ me, or he’ll pay. Like, actually pay me.” This wasn’t exactly what you were expecting, but you persevere nonetheless. 

“I swear this isn’t a prank, d-didn’t Lucifer tell you about this new program?” You wait for an answer. 

“Oh uh I guess he might’ve told me about somethin’ like this. But that doesn’t mean a damn HUMAN can just call my number. Do you know who I am??” 

This guy seems insufferable, great. You’re starting to get irritated, “Lucifer himself TOLD me to call you. Do you want me to get him on the phone? I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear you’re already arguing with a new student.” You’re hoping that’s a threat. 

“W-wait wait okay I’ll help you. I’ll meet up with you soon. Ahem uh- NEVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN.” He hangs up. Wow, what a temperamental freak . You’re almost mad at yourself for feeling optimistic earlier.

Lucifer chuckles, “Sounds like you had a nice chat.” 

That seems sarcastic…did he purposely set you up with the most idiotic demon?

“I would’ve preferred you, Lucifer.” You tell him, hoping that there’s still a chance that he’ll personally oversee your stay. 

“I’m sorry, but I cannot. As the vice-president, I have too many jobs as it is. Trust me, this will be a good learning experience for both of you.” As he finishes his sentence, Diavolo rushes to his side. “Lucifer, I think it may be time to intro-”

Suddenly, you hear a whiny voice coming from behind you, “If Mammon can’t do it, can I? I would love to play with this cute little human”

You turn to find an angelic looking man. He has soft features, and strawberry blonde hair frames his face. Lucifer sighs, “This is the fifth eldest of my brothers, Asmodeus. He is the Avatar of Lust.”

This innocent looking dude is the Avatar of Lust?

Asmodeus walks up to you and cups your face with his palms, “Hey! What are you–”

“You’re curious about my power, right? Let me give you a demonstration! Could you gaze into my eyes for a moment?” You struggle to meet his gaze, “It’s okay, I promise I won’t hurt you. Come on, don’t be shy…”

Another man interrupts, “Hey, Asmodeus! I’m pretty sure Diavolo and Lucifer would be pissed if you actually charmed the human. Step away…” He puts his arm between you and the pushy brother. “I would be wary, miss. He can charm and manipulate people to use them for his own advantage. And when you’re completely under his spell, he’ll eat you.” You break your gaze, and your eyes land on your apparent savior. He seems like the complete opposite of Lucifer. He has blonde hair parted in the middle and green eyes. 

He looks like a prince…

“This one right here is Satan,” Lucifer glances at him and explains, “He’s the fourth eldest of us. He may seem nice and responsible, but looks can be deceiving.”

Satan turns towards Lucifer, “So I’m ‘this one’ now?” He rolls his eyes and looks back at you. “I am Satan, the Avatar of Wrath. I’m very pleased to meet you, ma’am.”

“For being the Avatar of Wrath, you certainly don’t seem very mean.”

Lucifer speaks again, “You should be careful around him. His smile may charm you, but one wrong move, and you could get hurt. Very hurt.”

“H-Hey! Don’t say that, you’re making me look bad in front of our new guest!” His fists clench, “Don’t take him too seriously. Lucifer loves to speak ill of his brothers, being the Avatar of Pride and all.” 

“I would never-“

“Luciferrrr, I’m hungry!” You hear, coming from one of the thrones. A man who is probably triple your size sits, drool dribbling out of the corner of his mouth.

Lucifer mumbles under his breath, “This is a complete disaster…” He massages his temples and raises his voice back to normal. “The one there with the grumbling stomach is Beelzebub. He’s the sixth oldest, and the Avatar of Greed.” 

Beelzebub has vibrant orange hair and purple eyes. You notice his peacoat is fully unbuttoned, unlike his other brothers. He’s visibly the most buff out of anyone you’ve met so far, so he might not even be able to clasp the buttons. Hot damn…

“I’m Beelzebub. Lucifer told me he would give me a scorpion burger with extra tartar sauce and spider legs if I spoke to you today.” More spit accumulates on the table. 

 “Why did you… nevermind. Just clean that mess up.” Lucifer gives Beelzebub stern eyes and softens them as he turns towards you. 

 “Anyways,” Lucifer says, “There are seven of us brothers in total. Mammon should be here soon to properly introduce himself. My other brothers…Well you’ll have to wait to meet them.”

 “Alright!” Diavolo clasps his hands together, “Since we’re waiting on Mammon, I shall send you your first message on your D.D.D. How exciting!”

 Just as Diavolo finishes his sentence, the door to your left slams open, startling him into dropping his D.D.D. You hear Lucifer sigh, “Welp…it seems the idiot has arrived.”

Chapter Text

“Hey, human!” A man with white hair stalks up to you, and you recognize him to be Mammon. 

“You think you scared me into comin’ here, just by mentioning Lucifer’s name? Well, you’re wrong. I ain’t afraid of him, and I especially ain’t afraid of you. I’m only here to put you in your place!” Suddenly, you notice Lucifer behind him… this can’t be good.

Mammon still doesn’t notice Lucifer’s presence, “Because you interrupted me when I was about to win big, you needa hand over all your money, NOW! And uh…any other valuables. Do it or I’ll eat you. Startin’ at your head and working my way down, until–” 

Lucifer taps on Mammon’s shoulder and he jumps. You can see him tremble as he slowly turns around. “Mammon…shut up, or I’ll punch you.”  Lucifer raises his fist, and Mammon stumbles backward due to the force of the punch he receives.

“Ow! What the eff, man! Why’d you not even give me a chance to zip my mouth?!”

You giggle, covering your mouth.

Satan speaks for Lucifer, “Mammon is the Avatar of Greed. There is nothing he adores more than money, and he’s absolutely shameless about it. He uses his wealth to buy useless material objects and hoards them in his room. One time, He bought a–”

“Hey! No need to air out all my personal business!”

Asmodeus adds, “Oh yeah, and he’s also a total masochist. Maybe that information will come in handy one day, human.” He winks.

“What did I just say?! And I AIN’T a masochist…how would you even know that, anyway?!”

That’s something a masochist would say…

Beelzebub chimes in, seemingly waking up from his stupor. “It’s pretty obvious. It’s like you piss everyone off on purpose.” he continues, “Anyways, can I get my burger now, Lucifer? Oh and fried beetles since you’re making me wait, That sounds reallyyy good right about now.”

Lucifer’s left eye twitches, “Enough. All of you are acting like children.” He shakes his head and turns towards Mammon. “Mammon, you are to escort this human and assure her safety during the entire exchange.”

“C’monnnn man, why me?! Why can’t Asmo, Beel or Satan do it?” 

“That offer does seem appealing…” Asmodeus looks you up and down, “But Hell no, I’m way too lazy for that.”

Mammon snarls and glances at Beelzebub, “What’s your excuse?!” You all turn to see that he’s still drooling on the table, not paying attention to the conversation at hand.

“Ugh…how come you only snapped out of it to call me a masochist earlier??”

 “Mammon, I wouldn’t trust Beel to keep her safe…he might just eat her if he gets hungry enough.” Satan says in a worried tone.

“Mmmm…human meat does sound delicious.” Beelzebub’s stomach growls.

“Man, how come Lucifer always yells at me when you are genuinely useless?”

You face Satan, “Satan, do you know why Lucifer didn’t choose you? You seem like the most capable, to be honest…”

“I…don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m too busy? Certainly it’s not because he thinks I’m dumber than Mammon…” He glares at Lucifer.

Mammon chuckles, “Heh, busy doing what? Watching your dumbass dramas?” 

Satan’s fists clench, “They. Are not. Dumb. The writing in ‘A Beacon in the Dark’ is sophisticated and complex, unlike you. You probably don’t even know what the word ‘sophisticated’ means. You imbecile.”  

“Of course I know what ‘sophisticated’ means! It’s like…uh…”

Before Mammon can make even more of a fool out of himself, Lucifer interjects. “Mammon, you have no choice in the matter. You will be aiding this human for the whole year. Nothing you say will change my mind.”  His eyes look like they’re piercing through Mammon’s soul.

After a moment, Mammon relents, “Fine! Fine. I’ll do it, not like I have much of a choice, anyway. Ugh…I hate you all.” 

He turns to you, “Human, listen up because I’m only gonna say it once. Don’t cause me any trouble, got it? As much as I don’t wanna do this, I don’t have a choice. So, don’t do dumb shit, and we won’t have a problem.”

You clench your fists, “All right. Fine. Deal.” You hate the fact that you have to comply with this jackass.

“Now that we have that settled,” Lucifer says, “it’s time to explain what your tasks will be.”

You fight the urge to yawn, and sit down on the floor. This is going to take awhile.

As you all leave the courtroom, you follow behind Mammon. You figure that he’s probably meant to give you a tour of the dormitory, considering he’ll be aiding you from now on.

“Gahhh…this is so lame. I am the Mammon, why should I have to take care of some good for nothin’ human? Damn Lucifer, he thinks he can just scare me into doing whatever he wants. Well guess what, you bastard, I’m not afraid of you!”

He probably can’t hear you walking behind him over the sound of his grating voice.

You exaggeratingly clear your throat, and he stills. “I think you’re meant to show me around. I don’t know where my room is and I would like to take a small nap.”

He sighs, “I know! Obviously. Hurry up. You’d better keep up or I’ll leave ya behind.” He continues walking, “Also uh…just so we’re clear, It’s not like I can’t refuse Lucifer. I totally can…I just um…uh…” He’s stammering over his words and for a split second you think it’s kind’ve adorable.

Y’know what, he’s had a bit of a rough time. I can put our differences aside for now. You smile and decide to humor him,  “Yeah I know, Mammon.”

He blinks rapidly, as if not expecting me to say that, “Well uh…glad we got that covered. Let’s just go.”

When you walked through the door, you noticed you were in some sort of foyer. It has 2 winding staircases on either side, and a hall in the middle. You’re in awe of how humongous this school seems.

“Y’know, I’m sick and tired of my brothers. They’re constantly bullying me. Callin’ me an idiot scumbag, callin’ me a masochist, and hitting me. I’m faster and stronger than all of them…except for Lucifer. I shouldn’t take that shit.”

“I-” You’re about to express how sorry you feel for him, but he interrupts.

“There’s a spare room right next to the kitchen. That’s prolly where Lucifer wanted me to drop you off at.” 

You pass a large, rustic kitchen. You notice Beelzebub sitting at a table, scarfing down 5 full plates of food. Many thoughts swirl through your mind.

Did he really convince Lucifer to get him this much? 

How can he even stomach all that? 

We left the courtroom like 5 minutes ago, how the hell did Lucifer already acquire such a crazy order?

Where are the chefs?!?!?

“HEY, damn it, snap out of it! Did Diavolo really choose a human as spacey as Beel?” You jump and Mammon drags his tan hand over his face, “We’re at the door to your room. Go in and do whatever you need to do, and don’t bother me for the rest of the day.” He starts to turn away.

“Wait! Why aren’t you showing me around the whole dormitory? There’s definitely more to see other than my room and the kitchen.” You put your hands on your hips.

“I got places to be. I’m the top of the RAD social pyramid so obviously I have plans. Lots of plans.”

He’s definitely lying. You shouldn't have felt sorry for him before, clearly he’s still an asshole.

He goes to leave again and a loud voice rings through the hall, “Plans? Lolol- Who would want to hangout with you, you scumbag?!”

Why did he say lolol instead of laughing like a normal person? You know nobody here is technically a “person” but still…

You both turn around to find a pale, blue haired man. He’s skinnier than most of his brothers, but nearly the same height as Mammon. His sunset orange eyes are locked onto the other boy.

You glance at Mammon, and he looks anxious. “Gah! Levi?!” You remember him mentioning a “Levi” on the phone earlier, do they have some sort of beef?

“Uh, human. This is Leviathan, you can call him Levi. He is the third oldest of us brothers and the Avatar of Envy. Alright bye!”

“Mammon, no more excuses. Give me back my money now, or I swear I’ll kill you.”

Mammon seems to want to stick up for himself now, “Woah, woah man. Threatenin’ to kill your own brother is pretty insane. Why do you need the money so bad, anyways?! Did one of your ‘waifus’ climb out of the TV, and now you have to provide for a family?”

Levi’s fists clench, white forming on his knuckles. “Obviously not, you fucking swine. It’s been exactly 260 years and you still haven’t paid me. I’m tired of waiting.”

“Look, I don’t have it right now but I should in the next…600 years or so?”

“Don’t act like you aren’t hoarding Grimm, you worthless waste of space. Even if what you said was true, I need it now to buy the Blu-ray box set of ‘Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and Her Reluctant Companion’. I can only get tickets to the live show if I buy one of the initial copies.”

So, this guy is some sort of otaku? He seems pretty dedicated.

“You aren’t making any sense at all right now. I’m tellin’ you, I do not have the money right now. I can’t just magically pull it outta my ass!”

“Well, you’d better find a way.” He starts walking towards Mammon.

You don’t want to get caught in the middle of this. You need to de-escalate the situation, but you don’t necessarily know what to do. Mammon is a pest, and Levi seems to have anger issues.

Since you can’t choose who to defend, you might as well let your impulse decide. Well, here goes nothing.

You stand between them, “Levi, is it? Please, just calm down. Mammon may be an idiot, and a scumbag, but his life still matters!”

“Hey! That’s not helpin’ my case!”

Leviathan stops and his fiery eyes flick back and forth between you and Mammon, “Mammon, who’s this…human? Why is she trying to save you?”

You really don’t know why you chose to defend Mammon. Maybe it’s because his life was being threatened? Although Mammon is unpleasant…you wouldn’t want him to die.

Mammon sighs and palms his face, “Ugh…she’s the one Lucifer told me I had to babysit for the whole year. It’s complete bullshit.”

Leviathan looks confused, almost as if he had no idea that the exchange program was even happening. Does anybody in this place pay attention to anything but themselves?

“I’m here for the exchange program. Well, more like I was kidnapped and forced to partake in the program, unwillingly. Mammon is supposed to be my escort to protect me from the more impulsive demons.” Leviathan looks like he finally remembers, but his face is red. Did you say something to upset him?

Mammon chuckles, “Oh yeah, Levi here isn’t used to talking to girls. Well, real girls. He talks to busty cartoon women all the time. I’m surprised he hasn’t popped a b-” Leviathan steps on the white haired man’s foot as hard as he can, making him yelp.

“Dude, do you have a death wish? I was just saying that I’m going to kill you if you don’t hurry up and hand me the money!”

“You wouldn’t ACTUALLY try to kill me, Levi. I’m your brother! I’m too fast, strong, and overall better than you for you to even get close to killin’ me, anyways.”

Leviathan still looks furious, but he relents. “Grrrrrr…fine. You have 3 days, and only 3 days to give me back my money. If you don’t, I’ll have Lucifer himself give you a suitable punishment.”

Mammon turns around and starts walking, “Don’t worry, Levi. You can trust me! I’ll totally have it by then. That’s the Mammon guarantee!”

He walks further down the hallway, his hands stuffed in his pockets. You hear his footsteps getting quieter and quieter. Once he turns a corner, you realize that he just left you here with his brother, without finishing the tour. Oh, this scumbag…

You might as well strike up a conversation. This is an awkward situation and you literally have nothing else to do.

“So, ahem…Which animes do you watch, Levi? I’m a big anime fan myself, actually.”

His eyes light up, “Wait, really?! Have you heard of ‘Evil Genesis Demongelion’? It’s one of the best mechas we have here in the Devildom. But my personal favorite anime EVER is ‘The Tale of the Seven Lords’! However, the animated series could never live up to the novels, wouldn’t you agree?-” He carries on for about five more minutes.

“Woah, Levi, slow down. I, uh, I’ve heard of ‘Neon Genesis Evangelion’ but never ‘Evil Genesis Demongelion’. Maybe the media here in the Devildom is different from the media in the human world?”

He looks distraught, “What!? But I…nevermind, you’re probably just a normie anyways.”

“But I literally just said-”

He cuts you off, “Ugh, this is EXACTLY why humans are— wait a second. Humans…yes, that’s it. I think I have a plan. Are you free right now? You have to be, right?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“You’re coming with me!” He grabs you by the wrist and sprints down the hallway. You almost lose your footing because he’s going too fast for your legs to handle.

“Dude, Slow down! Where are we even going!?”

“We need to get to my room!” You see his ears flush. He’s probably just realizing that he’s taking a girl to his bedroom, and touching her arm.

After a moment, you feel a buzz in your back pocket. You fumble around for your D.D.D. and check the lockscreen. It’s a text from Mammon.

“Heya it’s me” He sends a sticker of a little devil in a hoodie blowing a kiss.

“I suddenly remembered I have some business to take care of. Ask Levi if you need something.”

You almost break your D.D.D. in half.

You aggressively type out a reply, “When I find you, you better explain yourself.”

He sends back a sticker of the little devil cowering in fear, “oh I’m SO scared, human. Smh.”

After you shove your phone back into your pocket, you find yourself in a…bathroom? 

“Levi, where are we?”

“This is my room, duh. Where else would we be? Anyway, do you wanna know why I looked around to see if anyone was watching before I pushed you in here?” 

Not particularly but you’re going to tell me anyways , you think.

“Because I don’t want anybody to know I invited a human to my room. Even worse, a normie human. You don’t even look like an otaku. Do you know how bad that could be for my reputation?”

“Are you worried that people might think we’re…together?” You ask. 

His face suddenly turns a fiery red, and he tries to cover it with a towel.

“O-o-of course n-not! Everyone k-knows I only have r-room for one woman i-in my heart, and that’s Ruri-chan! My animated goddess…n-no real woman could compare to the beauty th-that is Ruri-chan!” 

Wow, what a weirdo. 

He goes on to call you a normie a few more times, then after his rant he calls you “insane”. As if what he’s saying right now isn’t complete nonsense. 

You glance over at some book shelves. They are filled with manga. 

“What is it human? Are you looking at The Tale of the Seven Lords: The Lord of Shadow Awakens? Are you interested in learning about peak literature?”

Um? What? Y’know what, sure. I don’t have anything else to do. “Yeah! It looks interesting!”

“Yes!! Alright, I’m going to go ahead and teach you about TSL. Make sure you pay attention.”

About 2 hours later, he’s finally done explaining the extensive lore of this series. You could barely pay attention, but it almost sounded like he was describing his own life? There’s seven lords, the second one is a greedy scumbag. He likes the third one best, probably because he himself is the third brother in his own demon family. The rest of the descriptions fit his brothers. But who would Henry be? He’s the protagonist of the story who’s best friends with the third lord.

He looks towards a fish tank, “See that goldfish there? He’s actually named Henry. I love TSL so much that I couldn’t help naming him after the main character.” 

His dedication to this series is cute, in a way.

“The author, Christopher Peugeot, is actually a human. That’s why I’m so jealous of you guys. It’s no fair, humans get everything! You have real maid cafes and you get to walk around Akihabara whenever you want!” He starts to rant about wanting to be Henry in real life and perform his “super-powerful signature finishing move” in Tokyo. 

You might as well perpetuate his delusions, just for fun. “Y’know what, Hell yeah. Screw all the normies, who needs' em?”

“YEAH! SCREW THE NORMIES!” Levi yells.

“Ahem…anyways. I didn’t drag you here to teach you about TSL. I need your help.”

“With…what? You were just telling me how I’m a ‘useless good for nothing human’. What changed?”

“I realized that you’re the only one in the entire Devildom who can do this. Well…other than Solomon, of course.”

Who the Hell is Solomon?

“Before I tell you about your mission, I must reiterate something to you. Mammon is a hopeless, worthless, scumbag. So you shouldn’t feel bad about what I need you to do.”

“Alright?”

“I lent that scumbag money, and now I want him to pay me back. But since he’s the way that he is, he won’t do it. That’s where you come in. I wish I could do it myself, but I’m just the third oldest. Even though he sucks, he’s still the second oldest.”

“What?? How can I tame Mammon then?? I’m just a human.”

He doesn’t answer, “First, you should understand why Mammon and I first became enemies.” 

Great, another needless explanation.

“Once, a long time ago, he won a prize in a convenience store promotional campaign. If you bought something, they let you reach into a box and pull out a piece of paper that told you what you’d won. And the prize Mammon won was a Seraphina figurine, something I would’ve died to have. I begged him for it, but he wouldn’t give it to me, even though he has no interest in her. I couldn’t let him treat her like junk! So, I snuck into his room in the middle of the night.” 

His eye starts to twitch. “Can you guess what I saw there? Seraphina, on the floor, still in the bag from the convenience store. His room was hopelessly cluttered too. Junk everywhere. He threw sensitive little Seraphina on the ground like trash!”

He treats figurines as if they’re real people…

“I flew into a fit of rage. So I raised my leg up into the air over him and brought my heel down on his stomach as hard as I could. But the next thing I knew, he was slamming me headfirst onto the floor. I looked up, in agony, and realized he was stark naked!” 

You shiver at the thought. Of course that bastard sleeps naked .

“So, obviously, I’m too powerless to try and control Mammon. But if, say, a human made a pact with him, and bound him to their service…then he’d have to do whatever they tell him to. That means you can make a pact with Mammon and simply order him to give me my money back! It’s a perfect plan!”

“Excuse me, Levi, but what the hell is a pact?”

“Erm…you’ve never heard of a pact? Like, when a human gives up their soul to a demon in exchange for its power?”

“I’m sorry, but I’m NOT giving up my soul for this.”

“You don’t HAVE to give up your soul. There are other ways, contrary to popular belief. All you need to do is give SOMETHING to a demon to make it worth the exchange. Most likely, something that the demon desires more than anything else. I can tell you how to negotiate with Mammon.” He pauses, “Also, it would be worth your while. Mammon is one of the strongest demons in the Devildom, despite how incompetent he is.”

This actually seems like a pretty good deal. You would be overjoyed to see Mammon off his high horse and you wouldn’t mind having guaranteed protection. “All right, fine. Deal…as long as I won’t get hurt. But uh…how do I go about doing this?”

“I think I know of something Mammon would kill to have. Something that matters to him more than anything. That is, his credit card, which was confiscated by Lucifer. That damn idiot used it constantly, calling it his ‘one true love’. One day, Lucifer got tired of how irresponsible he was, and stole it from his wallet…somehow. I want you to find out where he put that card. Of course he can’t suspect anything, so be subtle.”

You just want this day to be over. "Alright got it, goodnight, Levi." You head to his door, illuminated by the strange blue lights in his room.

He calls out after you, "Make sure you do a good job, or else!”

“Or else, what?”

“Or else, um…whatever, just get out of my room! Make sure nobody is watching before you leave!”

That night, you inspect your room and realize it has everything you could possibly need. Clothes, a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and even makeup. Not only that, but everything seems to be a replica of what you had in the human world. How did they do this??? 

Laying in bed, you think about everything that has happened thus far. It still feels like some sort of weird dream. Although everyone is pretty…colorful…you want to get back home. You JUST moved into your new apartment, after all.

Comforting thoughts of your friends and family cause you to slowly drift off to sleep.

Chapter Text

As soon as you wake up, you hear a knock at the door. When you open it, you don’t see anybody standing there.

Huh, weird.

You look down and realize a uniform is sitting on the ground. It consists of a black skirt, a cyan button up, a black peacoat, and a long black tie. It's exactly like the boys uniforms. Except for the skirt part, of course.

"Oh! This must be my uniform, cute!"

You take the clothes off the floor and step back into your room to change. After freshening up and struggling with your tie, you trot to class.

As you were walking up the steps, you heard whispering. “That human over there is the one Mammon is babysitting, right? He’s not here right now, we could just walk on over and devour her.” You pause, but suddenly remember Mammon’s advice about running when you’re near dangerous demons. Unfortunately, as soon as you break into a sprint, you run head first into someone. 

Their imposing presence towered over you. You slowly look up and notice Lucifer’s face looking down at you.

You quickly jump away, “I-I’m sorry, sir. Good morning!” 

He looks sympathetic, “It’s all right, although you look quite afraid. Is something the matter?” 

“Well, I noticed a few demons were plotting to eat me.” You look back to where they were standing, “I think they ran away when they saw that I ran into you, though.”

He sighs, “I’m very sorry that our students don’t know how to behave. Just remember, if you ever need help, Mammon is meant to rescue you. If he’s goofing off somewhere else, then you can come to me.”

The mention of Mammon’s name suddenly reminds you of your mission. Oh, shit. How do I be subtle about this?

Lucifer seems intrigued, “You look like you want to ask me something. If you have any questions, I will be happy to give you answers.”

You’re glad Lucifer noticed your struggle, because you had no idea how to start the conversation. “I do have some questions! Could you tell me more about Mammon, sir? I just want to get to know him considering we’re stuck together for the year.”

“Let’s see…Mammon is a good for nothing scumbag that I feel sorry to call my brother. He’s irresponsible and would do anything for a quick buck. But,” He pauses for a second and then continues, “even though he’s a crook, and an idiot, I do trust him.” That’s strange. He thinks the worst of Mammon, but trusts him at the same time?

“Oh! Uh… what is the one thing that’s most important to Mammon?” You ask.

“That would have to be money. If you took away all his money, what else would he have in life? Nothing.”

Is Mammon’s life really that sad? 

“Money comes in many different forms. Unfortunately, he lost the privilege to his favorite form of currency. He’s so reckless that I had to take one away to freeze his spending. Now that it’s frozen, he’s stopped putting himself in debt.” He chuckles.

Just as you were about to ask another question, you see Mammon in the distance behind Lucifer. Oh shit…I gotta hide. I don’t feel like interacting with him right now.

“Um, thank you Mr. Lucifer sir! I gotta go! Don’t want to be late to class, haha!”

Then, the bell rings. You watch Mammon walk to one of the classrooms with his arms crossed behind his head, looking nonchalant. 

What a douchebag…wait, that’s the class I need to go to.

You bow to Lucifer and power walk behind a large group of students. Once you reach the classroom, your heart starts pounding rapidly. 

You don’t know anybody yet except for Mammon, and the thought of sitting next to him for the whole year makes you anxious. He told you not to bother him, and it’s not like you particularly want to talk to him, but there’s nobody else. Everyone would just get put off because you’re a human.

Oh no…I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack…will I be a loner all year?

“Hello! Are you one of the new human exchange students?” 

You turn to see a tall, tan man. He’s darker than Mammon, with even darker shaggy brown hair. His eyes are light blue, as beautiful as a cloudless sky. Contrary to his angel-like appearance, his outfit is quite…slutty. He wears a sleeveless, skin tight black turtleneck with the sides cut out. His white pants are as tight as his shirt, and he sports a cape that elegantly drapes across his upper arms.

You have to close your mouth in order to not drool on the floor like Beelzebub.

You notice a boy standing next to him who’s his complete opposite. He’s extremely short and looks too young to be at a university. He’s pale, his eyes are blue and his hair is blonde, just like Satan. His baggy clothes are white with gold trimmings and he wears a celestial looking cravat.

“Y-yes, I am. Are you…a demon? To be honest, you don’t necessarily look like one.”

“Good eye, human! I’m actually an angel. Wait…how rude of me! I must introduce us! My name is Simeon, and this right here is Luke. We are both angels.”

“Nice to meet you guys!” You’re still trembling a bit.

“You seem to be nervous…would you like to sit next to us?”

“YES! I mean, ahem…yes. I would love to sit next to you!”

He smiles genuinely, “I’m glad you’re so enthusiastic! I hope we can become great friends.”

Before you can respond, Mammon walks over and ruffles Luke’s hair.

“HEY! What was that for? I’m not a dog, you know!” Luke’s voice is quite high, he reminds you of a chihuahua.

“Aww, the puppy is whining!”

While they’re busy arguing, you shuffle behind Simeon, hoping to hide yourself from Mammon.

“Yo, human. What are ya doin’ here?”

Great. “This is my first class, why else would I be here?”

“Thought you may be followin’ me around, like this puppy here follows Simeon.” He claps Luke on the shoulder, making him stumble forward.

“I. AM NOT. A DOG. I am a respectable angel and I will NOT hesitate to tell archangel Michael about this.” Luke snarls and you struggle to contain a laugh.

“I don’t even know who that is. Anyways, human, don’t bother me while we’re in class. I don’t want anyone thinkin’ we’re friends along with me bein’ your babysitter.”

Who does this guy think he is? “Wasn’t planning on it. You’re the one who’s bothering me right now, actually.”

“Don’t sass me, I-” He’s interrupted by the teacher telling everyone to settle down, signifying the beginning of class. He rolls his eyes and trudges back to his seat. 

Luke and Simeon take their seats on either side of you, “Don’t worry, we have your back, human.” Simeon smiles at you once again and you feel yourself blush.

After saying goodbye to your new friends, you send a text to Leviathan about your findings. Lucifer’s mention of the words “freeze” and “frozen” seemed suspicious and out of place, and you figure he would know what to make of that. Confirming that the message sent, you head to your next class.

Chapter Text

You can’t seem to fall asleep that night. You keep thinking about everyone you’ve met so far. All the brothers are so different in their own ways. 

You ask yourself, will I be able to tolerate them for a whole year?

After a couple hours of lying there, restless, you get a text.

It’s Leviathan, “You said Lucifer mentioned having frozen something? Are you absolutely sure that’s what he said?”

“Yeah, I’m positive.” You send a sticker of a little demon nodding its head. 

“Alright. Meet me in the kitchen. Right now.”

He quickly follows up, “Don’t tell anyone what you’re doing. I don’t want anyone to think that I'm hanging out with some human normie.”

You crawl out from the warmth of your comforter, groaning as your feet hit the cold floor. You shiver and slip on a pair of fuzzy house shoes you found next to your bed. 

When you get to the entrance of the dimly lit kitchen, you hear noises. The sounds of lips smacking and plates clanking together fill the room. 

“Om…nom nom nom…”

“Uuuh…hello?” Suddenly, you see a tuft of orange at the corner of your eye. You turn to find Beelzebub sitting at the kitchen table. “Beelzebub?”

“Oh, human…what are you doing here?” He raises an eyebrow.

You feel terrible about lying to Beel, but you have no choice. If Levi found out, there’s no telling what he would do. 

“I…uh…I got hungry. Couldn’t fall asleep without a midnight snack!”

He smiles, “I’m the exact same way! I only ate 3 dinners today, so I was starving. That’s why I ate everything in the fridge. Maybe you could find something in one of the cupboards?” He rests his hand against his chin and continues, “Although…I vaguely remember sweeping them for any ingredients to make a sandwich. Then I may have eaten the ingredients, so I was left without a sandwich.”  

You stand in front of him, mouth slightly agape. You don’t understand how anyone could eat that much. Whether you’re a human or a demon, you should get full at some point. Maybe it’s because he’s the Avatar of Gluttony? His appetite could be completely insatiable.

“Anyways, did you have any questions? Y’know, about my brothers or the Devildom.”

That’s kind’ve random, you think. But you indulge by asking the first question off the top of your head. 

“Who’s the seventh brother?”

His smile fades and he has a solemn look in his eyes. “Don’t ask about him. Especially around Lucifer…He would yell at me even if I simply uttered the first letter of his name. Same goes for my brothers.”

Yeesh…touchy subject, you think.

“We have to treat him as if he doesn’t exist, according to Lucifer’s orders. Lucifer is so-” He takes a deep breath through his nose, and then exhales out of his mouth. “This isn’t any of your business, human. I don’t know why I even told you this much. I’m going back to my room…there’s no point in me being here anyways.” He pushes past you and speaks again, “I’m pretty sure Lucifer is hiding a poisoned apple in the desk in the study…” 

Beelzebub trods away. You don’t know if he was making the poisoned apple comment towards you, or if he’s on his way to munch on it right now. You feel horrible about making him so upset. Just the mere mention of the 7th brother gets him worked up. 

Once Beel’s footsteps quiet down, you hear a voice.  “Psst..hey human, over here!”

You jump, then your eyes land on a man, peeking around a corner. After a second of freaking out, you notice his piercing orange eyes and blue hair.

“GAH! Don’t scare me like that, Levi. You look like you’re in a scene from a horror movie.”

He walks out from behind the corner and stands by the refrigerator. “I didn’t even do anything. Ugh…humans are so sensitive.” After shaking his head, he continues, “Anyways, I figured out where Lucifer could be hiding Mammon’s credit card.”

The situation clicks in your brain, “...In the freezer? Why was Lucifer so confident that none of you would find it when it’s in plain sight?” 

“None of us have used the freezer in centuries. I guess he counted on us not opening it for a few more, at least until Mammon gets his card privileges again.” He yanks the handle and the freezer opens, a gust of icy air hitting your face. 

You both peer into the frozen cave, your heads nearly touching. He backs up, and you can’t help but notice the intense blush on his face. “Human. Let me find it. You would just get in the way, anyways.”

You put some distance between yourselves and he starts rummaging around the freezer. Chunks of ice are cluttered on the shelves, evidence of the lack of use. He moves a particularly big piece aside and finds a…carton of ice cream?

“Huh, it’s the ice cream Satan hid from Beel around a century ago. You should’ve seen it, Beel was PISSED. Interrogating us until he eventually gave up and sulked for a couple decades. I think he forgot about it by now, but I’m not about to tell him, it would ruin the joke. Heh.”

He moves the carton to the side to find another chunk of ice. This one is different, though, because it’s encasing something thin and rectangular. “Levi! It’s Mammon’s card!”

“Yeah, I can see that,” He inspects the ice by turning it over in his hands, arms tensing due to the weight of it. “Huh, how are we going to defrost this quickly?” 

You have an idea, “Why don’t you just put it in the microwave? If we take it out in time, it should be fine.”

“That’s so risky…but I don’t think we have much of a choice. We can’t wait for it to melt because I need my money as soon as possible. I CANNOT miss this event.” He places the block in the microwave and sets the timer for 2 minutes.

Levi smiles, “Now, all we have to do is wait!” 

Just as you were about to attempt to convince Leviathan to give you a high-five, you hear footsteps behind you. An agitating voice encroaches your eardrums, “Why in Diavolo’s name are you two makin’ so much noise? I’m tryna sleep.”

You spin to face him, realizing that it’s the man of the hour. “Oh, Mammon…Actually, I’m glad to see you! We have something we want to give you!”

He looks stunned…and kind’ve scared. “Um, what? Are you two gonna try and kill me?”

Leviathan interjects, “No! We have something of yours!” He turns towards the microwave and points his finger at the door.

“What is- Oh! Is that…Goldie! My baby! The love of my life! I missed you so much.” He wipes his eyes. Why the hell is this man tearing up? “Wait…get her out of there right now! She’s gonna get demagnetized and stop working!”

That’s probably the smartest thing he’s ever said.

“Alright, alright.” Levi yanks the handle and pulls out a slightly wet credit card. He grips it tightly, in case Mammon tries to grab it.

Mammon tightens his fists “That was so stupid, Levi. You could’ve ruined it! Dang, you’re dumber than m- ahem…you’re dumber than a box of rocks sometimes.”

“Oh, am I?” Levi grins, “I really don’t think you should be talking to me like that right now. After all, I am the one who found where Lucifer put it.”

“Dude, just give it to me. Stop bein’ weird.” He reaches out and tries to snatch the card from Levi’s hands. Levi twists away and grips it tighter.

“The only way you’ll get it back is by begging…and you’ll have to do something for me too.”

Mammon frowns, “Grr just- fine” 

He sighs, then drops to his knees. “Please, Leviathan sir, I’ll do anything to get her back.” He looks between both of you with a pleading look in his eyes.

For some reason, the sight of Mammon on his knees makes your heart pound. The look in his eyes makes you feel even worse. Your face is warm and your body is tingling. What is this feeling? Must be annoyance…surely it’s just annoyance.

“This is so embarrassing for you, Mammon! All it took was a couple words to make you abandon your pride.” He chuckles, “You’re one of the strongest of our brothers, and yet, you’re down on your knees begging for me to give you what you want. Pathetic…” 

Mammon whines, “Levi! I…please!” He clasps his hands together and shakes them back and forth.

Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

Leviathan maintains his smirk, “All you need to do is give me back the Seraphina figurine you won at the convenience store, then I’ll let you have your card.” 

Mammon stops sniffling and tilts his head like a confused puppy, “The…what? What’s that? I don’t remember winnin’ anything.”

Leviathan’s whole body twitches, not just his eyes. “You…WHAT? So, you win one of the best girls in all of anime, and you just forget about her? You’re a disgrace…”

Mammon gets up, “I…Oh wait- I do know what you’re talking about! I won this stupid doll from the convenience store. I didn’t want it, so I just threw it on my floor.”

You don’t think Levi can look any angrier, “If you didn’t fucking want her, why didn’t you give her to me, you scumbag?!”

“Um, because you didn’t earn it? Please, just chill out, I’ll give you anything! Whatever you want!” His eyes start to water again. You can’t tell if this is an act or if he’s really that desperate. 

“Whatever I want, you say? Alright, then I want you to make a pact with this human.”

Mammon freezes up, “What did you just say? A…PACT?! Why the hell would I do that? How does that benefit you at all?”

“I’m glad you asked! You see, if you make a pact with the human, she can make you do anything she wants. That means if she ordered you to give me back my money, and the Seraphina figurine…then you would be forced to do it! It’s the perfect plan!”

Leviathan seems overjoyed, he’s practically vibrating in excitement.

“Nuh uh. No way. Get a job and make the money yourself if you need it so bad. I’ll find a way to steal my card back.”

You decide to chime in, “C’mon, Mammon. Just make a pact with me. It won’t be that bad.”

Mammon scoffs, “What do you get out of this, human? Why are you lettin’ this guy use you?”

“I heard you’re pretty strong, and if you were bound to my word, you will be forced to save me when I call for you. Also…I want to take you down a peg.”

“I’m still not interested! Why would I let a human talk down to me? I am the second oldest of the seven rulers of the Devildom. The Avatar of Greed! The Great Mammon! There’s no way I-”

You look between Mammon and Leviathan, trying to not-so-subtley convey that you need help from the third brother.

Levi’s loud voice cuts Mammon off, “Oh, Luciferrrr! Mammon defrosted his credit card! He’s running away with it right noooowwwww!”

Mammon looks as if he just saw a ghost, “ALRIGHT, alright! I’ll make a damn pact with you.” He grits his teeth, “I mean…I would be thrilled to make a pact with you!”

You jump in excitement, and the weight of the situation dawns on you. You’re about to have a servant at your beck and call. An annoying one, but a servant nonetheless. This is awesome!

“Alright! Levi, did that work? Can I tell him what to do now?” He covers his mouth and you can hear a quiet chuckle.

“I’m pretty sure. Alright hurry, human, tell this masochistic scumbag to give me back my money! I want it now!” 

You turn towards Mammon and smirk, “Mammon, you owe your sweet little brother some money. Give it to him, and don’t fuss!”

You can see that Mammon is about to retort, except his mouth suddenly clamps shut. His whole body stills, then he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet. His eyes widen and he mumbles, “How the fuck is this happening?”

His right hand unclasps a strap, which was holding the leather shut. He fiddles around and pulls out some coins you don’t recognize. They’re gold with a skull imprinted on both sides, fitting for this place.

Leviathan quickly snatches the money out of his brother’s hand. “Yes…YES! Now I’ll be able to buy the Blu-ray box set of Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and her Reluctant Companion !” 

Ah, average Isekai title , you think.

While Levi is gushing about the anime and his “waifu”, you keep your eyes on Mammon. He seems distraught, rightfully so. You didn’t think about the fact that he’s already humiliated on a daily basis, and this just adds to his suffering. You feel bad about it, you really do…but not enough to where you would want to take everything back. You don’t even know if you could reverse a pact.

“I’m goin’ back to my room! Don’t follow me.” Mammon storms out.

You almost want to order him to come back, but you don’t. You’ll only allow yourself to give him useless orders in increments…as a treat.

You smile at Levi and hold out your hand, trying to convey that you want a high-five. He shudders in response.

“I-I uh I-”

“Um, Levi? You alright, man?”

His cheeks are a fiery red yet again, “I u-um, I just can’t believe I worked with a normie like this! I’ve never stooped so low!” He covers his face and runs off.

You sigh, "These men are a bunch of clowns..."

Chapter Text

When you turn to leave, you see Satan and Asmodeus at the threshold of the kitchen. They’re giggling and clutching their stomachs, seemingly breathless. “Oh, this is great!” Satan is holding himself up with one hand on the wooden doorframe.

You’re genuinely confused. “Uh, what are you guys so happy about?”

“Human, you made a pact with Mammon! He’s probably crying like a baby right now!” Asmodeus wipes the tears from his own eyes.

You really hope Mammon isn’t taking it THAT hard. You aren’t even going to use him that often. Just when you really need his power… and maybe when you’re too lazy to reach the TV remote.

“He did seem pretty embarrassed…I hope he knows I’m not trying to humiliate him. I feel bad…”

Satan quickly replies, “Human, do not fret over it. This is the best thing that could’ve happened to us. Now, we can get you to make that imbecile do chores for us.” The two brothers high-five.

You don’t want to turn Mammon into a full-blown slave. You have got to put your foot down before these boys expect too much from you. “Woah, woah. Who said I’m going to do that for you?”

Satan looks furious, “It would do you right to listen to us, I-” He straightens his posture and clears his throat, “You’re right, human. It was definitely immature of me to assume you would abuse your authority for us. Please, forgive me.”

Satan seems to want to uphold his reputation. He’s the Avatar of Wrath, and yet, he tries his best not to show it. It’s actually pretty admirable.

Asmodeus scoffs, “Lame…”

You say goodnight to the two brothers and head to your room. The sight of your silky sheets makes you delighted to remember you already brushed your teeth. As soon as you hit the bed, you drift off to sleep.

The next morning, you wake up screaming in fear. Your heart is pounding and you’re sweating profusely. Unfortunately, you had another nightmare. 

It followed the same premise as the one you had right before you woke up in the Devildom. Except, this time, you were walking alongside someone. You were both silent as you walked through the desolate town. In your peripheral view, you could only make out a grey outline of your companion. They had a calming presence although their features were indiscernible.

Then, you heard the footsteps. You sprinted ahead while gripping your companion’s hand. Although you were fast, the entity was faster. It pounced on you from behind. Your confidant tried to pry the monster from your body as it gnawed on your flesh. 

The last thing you saw was your companion being thrown to the ground.

“Human, are you alright?” You hear a voice on the other side of your door, snapping you out of your daze. 

You drag yourself out of bed and check your appearance in the mirror, making sure to fix your bedhead and smooth your eyebrows back. After confirming that you don’t look like a bum, you open the door.

Lucifer is standing there, looking concerned. “Oh, Lucifer?”

“I heard you shout, and thought you could be in trouble. Is everything alright?” He sticks his head in your room, looking for any intruders.

“I…I just had a nightmare. Nightmares are pretty common for me, except, I’ve never actually woken up screaming before. I’m sorry for causing a disturbance.” You’re so embarrassed that you hide your face in your hands.

“It’s quite alright. Would you like to walk with me to the dining room? Mammon is meant to escort you, but he seems to be dodging his responsibilities, as always.” His jaw clenches and then loosens up. “Nevertheless, It’s almost time for breakfast and I would like for you to be there today.”

You didn’t realize they all had breakfast together. If you had known, you would’ve tried to be there before. “O-of course! Could you maybe wait 5 minutes for me to get ready?”

“Go ahead. I’ll wait by the door.”

Just before going back into your room to change, you spot Mammon at the end of the hall. He’s as still as a statue while facing your direction. As soon as he realizes you’re looking back at him, he walks away whistling. He must’ve been startled by the scream. For a moment, you wonder if he was worried about you.

Wait…he’s supposed to be escorting you. That damn scumbag

After getting ready, you and Lucifer walk to the dining room. You can hear voices and laughter getting louder as you approach. 

“Bahaha! I still can’t believe that she forced Mammon into a pact. He’s supposed to be the second strongest of us all, and yet, a mere human played him!”

Now that you’re in the dining room, you can see all of the brothers sitting at a long wooden table. You’re astonished by the feast in front of them. In the middle of the table sits two giant plates stacked with meat. Surrounding them sits plates of rice, omelettes, pancakes, and basically any breakfast foods you could imagine. It smells lovely, and your mouth starts to water. Are you turning into Beel?

“Asmodeus, keep your voice down. Mammon will get upset and you know we won’t hear the end of it.” Satan says.

“Don’t act like you weren’t doubled over in laughter last night. Besides, he’s probably not up anyways.” Where did he go after you saw him earlier?

You and Lucifer take your seats on the intricately crafted chairs. You grab the nearest empty plate and start filling it up with everything you can fit. Lucifer starts to speak, “Word gets around fast here. You should be very proud of yourself, human. You’ve only just arrived and you’ve already formed a pact. That’s a big accomplishment.”

“Th-thank you for saying that.”

He continues while smiling, “Diavolo will be pleased as well. We will continue to expect great things from you.”

You blush profusely. While you’re distracted, Beelzebub steals the sausages from your plate.

Levi speaks to the group, “Since the human formed the pact with Mammon, I finally got him to give me back my money! Epic win for Leviathan!” He wiggles in his seat, “Now I’ll be able to buy the Blu-ray box set of ‘Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and her Reluctant Companion’! The initial round of copies includes promotional tickets to a live event as a special bonus! It’ll be sooooooo epic!”

Asmodeus nudges Satan, “I’m surprised that the human was able to form a pact with Mammon. But I’ve got to say, I’m even more shocked that a team up with Levi is what made it happen. Doesn’t that seem weird?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I never thought I would see the day a real girl won over Levi, let alone a human one. But here we are.”

Levi, like the tsundere he is, blushes harder than you. “Wh-what is that supposed to mean? Nobody won me over! Our interests just happened to align! The relationship was purely business! Besides…I’m a taken man! I’m no cheater!”

Asmodeus looks teasingly at Leviathan, “Let me guess, your one true love is-”

“Cheeseburgers.” Beel says while scarfing down a sandwich made of every food on the table.

Levi yells, “No! That’s YOUR one true love, Beel!”

“Man, I get hungry just thinkin’ about them…”

You have to defend yourself, “C’mon, guys. I never tried to win Levi over. We’re just friends.” You’re friends, right? After working together yesterday, surely you’re more than just acquaintances. Leviathan seems pretty interesting. It would be fun to hang out with him more often, if not for the fact that he’s terrified of women.

“We’re…friends?” Leviathan’s eyes are wide and he has a strange, uneven smile on his face.

“Look, you got him all excited!” Asmodeus chuckles, “Actually, it’s kind’ve sad. LEVI now has more friends than Mammon. The man who basically never leaves his room is more popular than a man who is always out and about. He’s such a poor excuse of a demon.”

Satan smirks, “It is pretty upsetting…I almost feel sympathy for that poor idiot.” 

After he finishes his sentence, he smacks Beel’s hand away from your plate. You need to pay attention to your surroundings around that bottomless pit of a man.

Out of the blue, Mammon storms into the room and hits the back of Asmodeus’ head. He seems furious.

“OW! Why’d you hit me?! I can’t believe you actually STRUCK my beautiful, beautiful head!” He rubs the back of his head, “Not even Lucifer has ever done something like that! Why are you always getting so VIOLENT with me, Mammon?!”

Hm, that’s surprising. Your first day here you saw Lucifer punch Mammon so hard he almost flew. Is Mammon the only one who gets tough love?

“That’s for callin’ me a poor excuse for a demon, you peabrain!” He looks between everyone in the room, “Actually, I oughta hit all of ya, with the way you talk about me! Ya’ll think you’re sooo great.”

“It’s not that we think we’re so great,” Asmodeus replies.

Satan finishes his sentence, “It’s that you’re the most hopeless demon in the Devildom.”

You would be completely depressed if you were in Mammon’s position. Imagine being called a useless dumbass every second of your life, that can’t feel good. Unless he really is a masochist…

“Why do ya’ll call ME hopeless when Beel is sittin’ right here? What use does he have other than clearin’ out the rotten food in the fridge? Better yet, what about Levi? The only thing he does is watch cartoons and touch himself!”

Levi slams his fists down on the table, “They aren’t simply CARTOONS, they’re elaborate works of art. It’s called anime! Also I…I don’t touch myself! That would be disrespectful to the women beautifully crafted by-”

Lucifer seems as if he’s had enough. He stands up, pushing his seat away, “SILENCE! What did I say about acting like children?” He pauses to breathe for a moment and then smirks, “And Mammon, don’t talk about your brother masturbating. That’s weird.”

“Wh- you know I wasn’t tryin’ to be creepy! You’re the one that’s actin’ like a child!”

Lucifer’s look shoots daggers at the white haired man, and he immediately shuts his mouth. Everyone continues eating in silence.

After a period of quietude, Mammon is the first to speak, “Ugh…this sucks. Human, let’s just go to class. We’re gonna be late.” He urges you to get up by waving his hands.

Weird. He’s finally taking his job as a guide seriously. “Um…alright.” You address the other brothers, “Sorry guys, I’m gonna get going.” You rise from your seat and awkwardly wave goodbye.

Once you arrive at the winding stairwell leading to the school, Mammon starts to rant. “I can’t believe those guys!” He huffs, “Ever since you got here, human, it’s been nothin’ but one bad thing after another for me.”

You feel even worse now. Mammon really got grilled back there, and it’s all your fault. “Look, Mammon. I’m sorry. I didn’t know all this would happen when I decided to make a pact with you.”

Instead of accepting your apology like anyone normal, and letting the tension dissipate, he starts getting even angrier. “Let me get somethin’ straight. I didn’t make this pact because I wanted to! Everything I did, I did for my credit card. For my sweet baby Goldie!”

Before you can say anything, he continues. “If you end up gettin’ attacked and eaten by some demon here at RAD, don’t blame me. ‘Cause I don’t give a damn! You got that? Y’know what, I should eat you myself!”

You stare at him, dumbfounded. He would really let you be eaten just because you made a pact with him? “I don’t think that’s fair, Mammon. I’m not the one bullying you, your brothers are. Levi is the one who practically forced me into making a pact with you anyways. It was never my idea.”

“Nothing is fair, human. Don’t go thinkin’ you’re all high and mighty for being so nice. You’re just a pushover. A lowly, good for nothin’ pushover! As long as you’re here, you’ll listen to me. Then, we won’t have any problems.”

The audacity of this man …“Shouldn’t you be the one listening to me?”

“Wha- NO! I’ll never listen to the commands of a dumb human. No matter what!” 

You stay silent, trying to contain your rage.

“What? Am I that intimidatin’? Are you so scared that you can’t even speak?

You’ve had enough of this. Mammon can’t stand here and berate you like this, especially when you’ve been so understanding. You haven’t even called on him to save you yet!

“Mammon!” You yell.

He gives you a dirty look, his eyes squinting and his mouth forming a thin line. “Don’t yell at me like-”

“Mammon, sit!”

He stills for a moment. Then, he slowly drops to the floor, bending at the knees. “Wh-what? Why did you do that? Let me get back up!” He lands on his ass.

“Stay!”

He whines and starts struggling to get up, his torso extending and his feet pushing at the floor, “What’s the big idea, huh?! I’m not a dog!”

You step closer to him, staring down into his eyes. “I’ll only let you up if you do something for me.”

“I don’t want to! You can’t make me!”

You take another step forward and put your hand on his chin, lifting his head slightly, “I need you to promise me that you’ll never let me be harmed, including by your own hands.” 

Now, he has a slight blush on his cheeks, “Wh-who do you think you are? You may control my body, but not my mind!”

He’s really trying to force the words back down his throat, but the power of the pact is too strong, making him regurgitate a response to your command, “I…promise that you’ll…never be harmed on my watch. I’ll always…protect you.” 

His promise was so sincere, you almost could almost mistake it as him doing it of his own volition, “Alright. You can get up now.” You release his chin from your grasp.

He uses his legs to push himself up, now free from the tight hold of the pact’s magic, “I…you…”

When you feel your mouth trying to formulate an apology, he snarls and brushes past you. Guess I’m not getting an escort today…

Later on, once you arrive to your first class, you see Diavolo talking to a couple other students. You are taken aback. In your mind, Diavolo was the headmaster. He did SAY he’s the student council president, but you can’t comprehend how someone whose name is literally in the school’s title isn’t more important.

You hear the mention of your name and turn around. Two demons are gossiping, “Did you hear the news? Apparently she forged a pact with Mammon.”

“For real? I don’t get it. Why would he forge a pact with an ordinary human?”

You’re pretty offended. Are you really that ordinary? Sure, you don’t have any special powers like the other human supposedly does, but you aren’t a plain jane.

Suddenly, Diavolo strolls up to you with Lucifer and another unfamiliar man at his side. “Hello, human! How are you today? I’d imagine you’re feeling pretty great. I, of course, have already heard of your huge accomplishment!”

You observe this new character. He has dark green hair with a longer, turquoise fringe on the left side of his face. His eyes are a different shade of green, like fresh grass in the springtime. His uniform is different from the others. His peacoat has a coattail in the back and he’s sporting white gloves on his hands. Almost like a butler.

The unfamiliar man speaks, “It seems that everyone has heard about the pact. Rumors around here spread like wildfire. Just when I thought the uproar about the new exchange student has started to subside, now they’re all freaking out about this.” 

“Come now, don’t say that, Barbatos.” Diavolo says to the other man. His name must be Barbatos. Unless it’s not, and that’s some weird nickname.

He continues, “Actually, I’d say all this gossip is a good thing! Every demon will be watching her, which means it would be hard for any unsavory types to go after her when no one is looking.”

Lucifer’s jaw clenches, “Yes. Since Mammon isn’t doing a very good job as a guardian…”

“He did attempt to take me to class earlier, but we had a bit of an argument. I don’t think he would actually let me be harmed if I were in trouble.” He can’t let you be harmed, now.

Lucifer scoffs, “I figured this would happen. I told him he was to look after you, not ‘attempt’ to do so and then run away like a child.”

“Anyways, I must say, I can’t believe you managed to make a pact in such a short time. That’s no small feat.” Diavolo’s eyes twinkle.

“I suppose it stands as proof that you chose well bringing this human here, Lord Diavolo.” The man pauses for a moment and turns to you, “Ah. Pardon me, I have yet to introduce myself. My name is Barbatos. I have the honor of serving as steward to Lord Diavolo. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” He bows.

What a polite man, “It’s nice to meet you, Barbatos.”

Lucifer interjects, “Barbatos is an extremely smart and talented individual. So much so that I wish I could trade a certain idiot brother of mine for him instead.” He shakes his head.

Barbatos smirks, “Well, in the human world it is said that intellectual men often keep their talents to themselves.”

Mammon seems like anything BUT intellectual…

“Yes, but then again, an incompetent fool doesn’t actually have any talents to begin with.” Lucifer rolls his eyes.

Diavolo giggles, “Well, I’VE heard that the most thick-headed child is always the cutest!”

He’s definitely NOT cute…

“Child? Are you out of your mind? It’s troublesome enough having him as my younger brother. But my child? I would never raise someone like…that. I don’t even want to think about it.”

It seems like he’s getting defensive. You know, from what Lucifer has said before, that trusts Mammon. He does love him, he just doesn’t show it for whatever reason. Maybe it’s because he’s the Avatar of Pride. He’s too prideful to show anything other than strength and superiority.

Your eyes land on Simeon and Luke in the front of the classroom. Luke’s gesturing wildly and Simeon is laughing. Poor Luke…never taken seriously.

Simeon catches your gaze and smiles warmly, trodding up to you. “Hello, human! I heard the rumors. Great job!” He sticks his hand out for a high-five, which you reciprocate. Finally, you get the high-five you deserve.

Luke joins in, “Yeah, good job putting that dummy in his place!”

Lucifer has a nefarious look on his face. It’s strange, sometimes he’s the epitome of maturity and sometimes he’s more childish than Mammon. “Ah. I see you’ve met Simeon and his chihuahua.”

“I am NOT a chihuahua! How many times do I have to tell you demons that I’m not a dog?!”

Lucifer bends down to Luke’s height, “Aww, no yipping!” He snaps his fingers and then swings his pointer finger in a circle, “C’mere boy…roll over! Shake! Who’s a good boy?”

“QUIT IT! Don’t you make fun of me! And don’t give me commands!”

It’s hard not to laugh in this situation, no matter how cruel Lucifer is. You giggle, trying to hide your face.

“Now you too? It’s not funny!” Luke’s fists clench.

Simeon crosses his arms, “Luke, calm down. You need to learn not to make such a huge fuss about everything.”

Simeon is like Luke’s big brother. He seems to have some sort of authority over him, or maybe he’s just really good at wrangling the little angel.

“He’s right. That’s exactly why everyone calls you a chihuahua, you know?” Lucifer chuckles again.

“The only ones who call me a dog are you and Mammon! You both suck!” Luke grumbles and walks to an empty seat. He seems too agitated to be in Lucifer’s presence right now.

Barbatos breaks the newfound silence, “It’s nearly time for the first bell to sound.”

“Yes, you’re right. I apologize for the rude interruption, human.” Simeon seems like he’s embarrassed about Luke’s behavior. It isn’t Luke’s fault that Lucifer is a bit of an ass sometimes.

“Simeon, there’s no need to apologize. Luke was merely defending himself.” You give Lucifer a pointed look.

“Thank you for saying that. I’m going to sit down now. Come join me if you want, human!” Simeon sits next to Luke, who seems to be ranting about what just transpired.

Diavolo smiles warmly, “In any event, I’m relieved to see that things seem to be going well for you here. At first, I was afraid that the exchange wouldn’t work out. But now I’m hopeful for a unified future.”

“That means a lot, Diavolo. I hope I continue to make you proud.” 

You’ve really come a long way since you got transported to the Devildom. At first, you didn’t even believe Diavolo and his crazy ramblings about demons and realms. You thought that you got kidnapped by some weird cult. But now, you fullheartedly trust in everything you’ve seen. It would be hard not to. You literally made a pact with Mammon and saw him submit to your command in real time. Not to mention, Beelzebub eats inhuman amounts of food and stays fit.

Lucifer turns to you before sitting down, “Human, look after Mammon for me, would you?”

“As I remember it, Mammon was supposed to be the one looking after her, correct?” Barbatos tilts his head in confusion.

“Yes, that’s how I remember it as well. But Mammon is clearly incompetent and needs someone to keep him in check. That person should be the human.”

“Understandable.” Is all Barbatos says before taking his seat.