Archive of Our Own ^beta

Summer break has just ended, and the walls of Watt high school are practically glowing in the bright sunlight. Students are littered all around the yard, most of them just enjoying their free time with no purpose, no rush to go anywhere. But that’s not the case for Elias, who’s walking briskly with his camera in hand, searching for a new subject to add to his ever-growing portfolio. He needs someone unique, different from the rest. And it doesn’t take long for him to find something promising.

A lone student, sitting underneath a large tree, wearing mostly black and baggy clothes. There’s a tiny red notebook in his hand, and he’s writing something in it, looking very concentrated. This moment would make for a good picture as it is, but Elias doesn’t want to take his picture without permission. So he jogs over to the other boy, and shoots him a warm smile once he’s close enough to catch the boy’s attention.

“Hey”, he greets the boy, who’s looking at him with a hard to read expression. Nervousness, or dissatisfaction, maybe. It could also just be the sun getting in his eyes. “Can I take your picture? I’m working on my portfolio.” He tilts his camera in his hands for emphasis.

“Why?” The boy’s voice is quiet as he stuffs the red notebook in his pocket. He doesn’t smile, no, his expression even seems to show a hint of fear.

“Oh you know, I need to have a good variety of different pictures”, Elias explains. “I’ve been looking for new subjects.” The other student doesn’t answer right away, so he adds: “I think you’d look cool.”

“I guess you can”, the student says hesitantly, looking at the grass in front of him. Elias gets his camera ready and takes a few steps back and to the side to get the best angle possible. The boy’s eyes flick towards the camera a few times as Elias adjusts his position, and he can’t help but think that the boy looks worried. Maybe, he’s just so hard to read. Elias wants to study that face, and he’s glad he’ll get to do just that later on.

“Okay, that’s great”, Elias comments after taking the first few pictures. “Could you look at the camera? And lean back a bit, just like that”, he gives the boy instructions, which he follows as best as he can. “Good. Hey, I think these are gonna turn out great.” Elias takes a few more pictures from different angles before putting his camera down.

“Thanks for that. I’ll give you prints of these when I run into you again”, Elias promises. “What’s your name? I’m Eli”, he then extends his hand to the boy.

“Alex”, the boy replies, his eyes barely meeting Elias’ as he shakes his hand.

Elias loves developing photos, even with the strange chemical scent lingering in the room, and with the amount of concentration that it takes to properly develop a roll of film. He finds it relaxing, soothing, it makes him feel purposeful.

What he doesn’t love, however, is the next step in the process. He’s printed out all the best pictures, and now he’ll have to organise the prints and take them to the subjects. He flips through the stack of paper, trying to remember names and places, when one particular print catches his eye. It’s that boy from under the tree, his name was… Alex? Yeah, that must have been it. He appears striking with his all-black attire, even though his looks are fairly unassuming otherwise. His pose is tense, it looks like a poor attempt to imitate relaxation, but Elias finds an odd kind of charm in it. Alex’s lips are slightly upturned, but his eyes don’t smile, they betray him, showing the unease hiding beneath his surface. He is like a series of contradictions, and Elias thinks that really adds to the value of the image. He might just have to photograph Alex again sometime.

The day is like any other, Alex is in his room, playing his piano, and Eric is there with him, as always. Eric’s gaze wanders all around the cramped space, looking at all the things that Alex has hidden in plain sight from his parents. Boxes stuffed under his bed, some of them filled with random junk, others hiding something far more sinister in their cardboard walls. Papers, all neatly folded or rolled up, containing plans, blueprints, layouts, stored amongst Alex’s art exercises and old sketches. Completely normal clothes in his closet, on the floor, on the bed, but Alex and Eric both know which ones have been selected for one very specific purpose. Eric stands up, looking at Alex’s back as he slowly, lazily approaches his desk. Alex is still focused on playing. His desk is strewn with art supplies, school papers and other random junk.

Eric looks through the papers, his gaze wandering over numerous unfinished sketches, vague figures in various poses, some more complete than others, but most lacking any real defining features. Alex’s playing ends abruptly as he makes a small mistake that Eric’s ears don’t even pick up, and proceeds to slam his palms against the keys.

“That sucked”, Eric says lightly, with a fondness in his voice that he reserves for Alex, and Alex only. His eyes land on a particular sketch, one that looks more finished than all the rest. It’s only a head and shoulders, but it’s shaded with dark, heavy pencil strokes, and its features are detailed, seemingly more realistic than any of Alex’s other work. The piece is attention grabbing, and Eric holds it up as Alex approaches him.

“Thanks”, Alex replies, hitting his friend’s arm gently as he steps next to him. He tenses slightly as he sees the page that Eric’s studying. “What are you doing?”

“Just looking at this”, Eric says, tilting the paper to allow Alex to see it better. “It’s pretty neat. How come you haven’t shown it to me?” Alex rarely shows his work to anyone, but this piece looks so finished, Eric is truly surprised that his friend hasn’t bothered to show it off at all. “The face is so detailed. Huh, why do I feel like I’ve seen this guy”, Eric thinks out loud.

“Give me that”, Alex says, grabbing the paper from his friend’s hands.

“Wait, is that actually someone I know? I thought you just drew like, I dunno, random figures”, Eric says, looking insistently at Alex, who doesn’t answer. “Let me see”, he turns his eyes to the paper again, and Alex hesitantly allows him to see it.

“It’s that photography dude, isn’t it? What’s his name, hold on, didn’t it start with… E..?” Eric ponders.

“Elias”, Alex says blankly.

“Woah! Really? It actually looks like him… I’m impressed”, Eric says. “You should draw me sometime”, he then grins. It’s not that he’s jealous, he’s just wondering why Alex would pick that random nobody over him, that’s all. That prick, who does he think he is, what makes him better than Eric in Alex’s eyes. More worthy of being drawn.

“Draw that ugly mug? In your dreams”, Alex teases as he stuffs the drawing into a drawer. Eric laughs.

“Seriously though, why’d you draw him? You think he’s real pretty, huh?”

“Shut up. He took some pictures of me”, Alex admits. “He’s nice.”

“Uhuh. Anyways, let’s go watch tv”, Eric changes the topic and the boys head to the living room. He tries to ignore the jealousy brewing in him as he thinks back to the drawing.

Alex and Eric sit in the cafeteria, picking at their meals. Alex hates this, the horribly loud chatter all around him, made even worse by the overwhelming barrage of other noises which everyone else seems to be able to magically tune out. Eric appears unbothered, bored, and Alex wishes that he’d hurry up already so the pair can get out of here, and into some other part of the school that’d be at least tolerable to exist in. A figure appears beside Alex, and he shifts in his seat reflexively, hoping that the person leaves him alone.

“Hey”, Elias greets Alex, who perks up and looks at him upon recognising his voice. “Alex, wasn’t it? Here, I got these prints for you”, Elias reaches into his bag and pulls out a stack of papers which he hands to Alex. “They turned out real good. You’re a great model”, he pats the boy on the shoulder.

“Thanks”, Alex says, heart leaping in his chest as he looks at the photos.

“No problem”, Elias says. “You should visit the photography class sometime. I want to see how you’d look in different lighting”, he continues casually.

“I- I’ll think about it”, Alex says with a nervous smile. He can feel Eric’s eyes staring right through him, but he tries to ignore it, ignore everything else, and focus on what Elias is saying.

“Alright, I’ll see you later”, Elias says and steps away from the table. “I gotta go hand out the rest of the prints now.”

“See you”, Alex is still smiling as Elias leaves. And so is Eric, he’s smiling like he thinks he knows everything about Alex based on that short interaction alone. “What?” Alex’s smile falls as he turns to face his friend and his smug fucking smile.

“He’s nice, huh? That’s all?” Eric asks.

“Yes? What do you mean?” Alex knows what Eric’s thinking, and it annoys him to no end.

“I’m just saying, you drew him, let him take photos of you, you were smiling like an idiot when he complimented you”, Eric lists off, and Alex wishes that he’d be a bit more quiet. “I think there’s something else going on here, man.”

“Oh yeah? You’re just jealous”, Alex rolls his eyes. Eric laughs at his response. He wishes he wasn’t right about Alex, and even more than that, he wishes Alex wasn’t right about him.

Somewhere in between the days of mind-numbing, hellish high school classes, Alex and Elias grew closer. It happened during after-school photography sessions, where the room started out full of excited students and ended with just the two of them in it. And it happened within those brief moments between lessons where Alex tried to pick himself up after everything the jocks had done to him, and Elias was there beside him. At first, Alex tried to resist it, fearing that forming such connections would mess with his and Eric’s plans. But he gave in soon enough, and him and Elias became quite close. Now that Alex’s final day was approaching, he figured he had nothing to lose. After tomorrow, he’d be either dead or in prison for the rest of his life. No matter how things turn out, a ruined friendship will be the least of his concerns. So, he’d invited Elias to the park with him.

“What’s up?” Elias asks, walking beside him as they search for a calm spot to stay at.

“Not much”, Alex answers, his eyes cast to the ground. Elias can tell he’s tense, even more so than usual, but he doesn’t mention it. There are all kinds of tests coming up, Alex might’ve gotten into an argument with Eric, he could’ve had a fight at home, it could be anything, and Elias shouldn’t worry himself too much.

“Mhm. Hey, there’s no one over there”, Elias says, pointing to a tree not too far away, and both boys start heading for it. “I feel like I’ve taken a million photos already, but my portfolio is still nowhere near done”, Elias laments. Alex nods as he listens, but Elias can tell his mind is elsewhere. They reach the tree, and Elias leans against it as Alex stands next to him, fidgeting with his hands.

“Yeah. Still got a lot of stuff ahead of us, huh?” Alex says, eyes fixed on the bark of the tree next to Elias’ head. “Lots of things to be done…” his eyes flick to Elias’ lips, who swallows nervously. He’d liked Alex for a while now. Maybe it started when he first noticed him in the schoolyard, he’s not sure, but he has been certain of his feelings for at least a couple of weeks. A few times, he’s pondered if Alex feels the same. The boy is still such a mystery to him, but it only makes him all the more enticing. Now, he starts to consider if the tension surrounding them, the tension in Alex, could be just that.

“Hey, Elias…” Alex starts, looking anywhere but at Elias’ eyes.

“Yeah?” Alex doesn’t reply, he can’t bring himself to it, he already feels his emotions starting to escape his grasp. He takes Elias’ hand in his, and Elias looks at him curiously as he steels himself. Alex feels his heart threatening to break out of his chest as he leans in, giving Elias a quick kiss. As if Elias had been expecting it, he leans into it, his lips soft and comforting.

Alex pulls away fast, much too fast for Elias’ liking, and Elias looks at him with a smile. However, he’s met with a look of panic, such a clear emotion being a rare sight on Alex’s stoic face.

“I liked that”, Elias says, hoping to comfort him. Alex frowns, shaking his head slightly as he tries to let go of Elias’ hand. Elias’ grip tightens, and Alex doesn’t fight it, instead squeezing Elias’ hand slightly as he begins to speak.

“Elias. Listen.” He looks afraid, his voice is almost pleading, and Elias feels hurt. He wishes he could console the boy, tell him it’s okay, whatever he’s talking about, but he feels like his words won’t be enough. “Don’t… You shouldn’t come to school tomorrow, okay?”

“Why’s that?” Elias’ voice is soft. Like his lips. Alex wishes he could lean in again, forget everything and just remain here forever. But it’s too late for that.

“Just don’t. Believe me. Don’t come to school. Promise me you won’t come”, Alex says. His voice is strained, his chest feels tight, it’s unbearable, the way Elias looks at him. So soft, so kind, so naive, so much better than Alex could ever deserve.

“Uhh…” Elias is beyond confused, but Alex seems serious. It’s important to him. It should be fine, just one day, then Elias will see him again and they can continue whatever this is. He’s got unfinished business now, he needs to have his lips on Alex’s again, and if skipping one day is all it takes, then so be it. “Okay, I won’t come.”

“Okay.” Alex feels the slightest bit of relief. “Okay. Good. Thank you, Elias.” His hand slips away again, Elias feels cold. “I’m… I’m leaving now.” He turns away, and before Elias can even fully register it, he’s out of sight already.

“...Bye”, Elias says, his voice quiet, the memory of Alex’s touch still ghosting on his hand and lips. Just one day, and he’ll feel it again.

Elias had nearly forgotten an extremely important math test which was taking place that day. He felt a pit in his stomach as he came to school, but he figured it’d be fine. Whatever Alex was talking about, he’d forgive him. As the day went on, Elias managed to forget about the entire conversation, especially since Alex wasn’t there to remind him of it.

In the hallway, on his way to the library, Elias comes across John and asks to take a picture of him. John strikes a goofy pose and they go their separate ways. The library is crowded, but thankfully fairly quiet. As he stands in the middle of the room, Elias thinks back to the previous day, and the way Alex’s lips had felt on his. 

Elias hears an odd click behind him. He turns around, and sees two figures standing there. Alex and Eric. Alex scans the room while Eric stands beside him, and his eyes widen as he sees Elias looking at the pair. Elias’ mind goes blank, but his hand reaches for his camera, knowing that this’ll be the shot of a lifetime. He looks into the viewfinder as Alex looks at him. His hands are steady, and he presses the shutter button for the last time just as Alex lifts his shotgun to take aim.