Work Text:
Eva Pilot GC:
Asuka: Shinji did you steal my crop top?
Shinji: um no
Asuka: I saw it on your snapchat story
Shinji: okay yeah it was me…..
Kaworu: I thought you looked good in it.
Asuka: please stop. I saw you two kissing on the story, I don’t need to hear you two flirting.
Shinji: speaking of flirting…..
Asuka: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY IDIOT SHINJI?
Rei: he’s talking about you and hikari.
Asuka: ……….
Shinji: Rei! Why would you tell her?
Kaworu: It’s okay Shinji, she needs to get over her internalized homophobia.
Rei: is this internalized homophobia why she kissed me in the elevator and then said she hated me?
Shinji: …………
Kaworu: ………….
Toji: …….. what
Asuka: Shut up Toji!
Toji: 👍
Asuka: ME AND HIKARI ARE JUST FRIENDS. AND I HATE YOU REI!
Kaworu: She just said no homo
Asuka: YOU CANT TALK ABOUT BEING HOMO
Shinji: Hey, Asuka how about you go listen to Weezer?
Asuka: Fine. Rei I’m coming over.
Rei: okay
Toji: Are y’all gonna kiss when listening to pink trangle?
Asuka: Aren’t you supposed to be in the hospital?
Toji: ……….
Asuka: Thats what I thought. I’ll be there in 15 minutes, Rei.
Rei: ok
Asuka: Talk to you later nerds
(Asuka named the gc “Asuka rules, you all drool”)
A few hours later:
Toji: SHINJI
Toji: SHINJI
Toji: SHINJI
Shinji: Make it quick,Toji. Me and Kaworu are about to order at Burger King.
Rei: burger king is peak
Asuka: Shut Up Rei! I’m taking you to a real fine dining experience Applebees.
Kaworu: that doesn’t matter. What is it Toji?
Toji: Shinji, you know your Snapchat post you of you and Kaworu kissing.
Shinji: Yes? What about it?
Toji: your dad has Snapchat, right?
Shinji: yeah. him adding me on there was one of the only times he actually gave me validation.
Toji: that photo wasn’t on your private story your dad can see that.
Shinji: ………….
Asuka: LMAO
Rei: lol :3333
Shinji: REI! I would expect this behind a behavior from Asuka but you?
Rei: womp womp
Asuka: I know I taught you slang well 😎
Shinji: THIS IS REALLY BAD. My dad doesn’t know I’m bisexual. What do I do?
Kaworu: I’ll talk to him. It’ll be okay Shinji.
Shinji: Thanks Kaworu.
Toji: Am I the only straight one here?
Rei: yea
Asuka: REI BRO
Kaworu: We already knew. Right guys?
Shinji: yeah
Toji: it was pretty obvious.
Rei: guys
Asuka: SHUT UP REI
Rei: guys
Asuka: SHUT UP
Rei: GUYS
Asuka: OMG WHAT
Rei: Ritsuko has parental controls on this group chat she can see and has seen everything.
Asuka: 😳😳😳
Kaworu: what
Toji: huh
Shinji: guys maybe it’s OK. She’s pretty chill. Maybe she won’t mind.
Rei: she just texted me that she sent everything to the commander.
Shinji: Welp, it was nice knowing y’all. I love you Kaworu <3
Kaworu: I love you too Shinji <3
Asuka: Homos
Toji: you’re also a homo
Rei: The Commander just texted me he says we’re all going to therapy. As a group.
The End