Chapter Text
"It's for your own good--for the whole family, too."
Those words ring in my mind every time I wake up. It's a constant reminder of my own duty. Or, in other words, a heavy responsibility that was bestowed upon me. Not that I had a choice of my own to make...
The sun rays peeking through my curtains tell me it's another new day. But I don't want to get out of bed. It's been the same routine for long time, and I'm sick of it. Yet I must.
The maids knock, come flocking in a single file line. Brush my hair and help me get ready for the day, same old routine as always. I greet and thank them. Before I can truly shake myself awake, it's my legs already taking me downstairs with the number of maids following behind me. And I'm on time for breakfast, as always.
Sitting down at the table where breakfast is prepared for me.
Just me.
Alone again. I look around for Father hoping to talk, but he is nowhere to be seen. Instead, Rosalind is there.
I gaze and gesture a wave to Rosalind who stands at the side, the one who manages, maintains the well-being of everyone in the Manor. She keeps me running on track and always on schedule and where to be sharp... it's what Mother used to do.
Even from a good distance across the table, she sensed that I was more exhausted than ever. Once we're left alone, there's time to simmer in my own feelings. I slump against the table, fingers idly playing and tapping with the silver utensils, poking around with the fluffy, golden waffles which was beautifully decorated with a mix of fruit and honey just to top it all off.
I couldn't bare to eat it. It did, however, look delicious...
These days, I've lost appetite so easily. I just wasn't able to stomach the words Mother has repeatedly asked me. A voice breaks my train of worrying thoughts.
"My Lady." The corners of her lips raise slowly, and she reaches out her hand which provided temporary comfort; the worries slowly fading away from my mind.
I can't help it, when I look at her smile lines, the dimples on her aged face and her ever-slowly graying hair with a mix of her natural blonde, I follow. I could feel myself slowly start to smile.
"I'm not feeling well again. But... I'd be delighted if you're able to remain by my side." I mumbled softly, squeezing her hand. It's textured, signs of deathly hard work, unlike mines. Every time I feel her palms, I'm always taken aback. In this manor, I choose to believe everyone has appreciated Rosalind's efforts. Even Father. He has more or less acknowledged her as my guardian.
"I'm always meant to be here, Lady Y/N. How can I leave you?" Her hazel-brown eyes, I could see myself in them. And I think of Mother again.
Mother fades away slowly and slowly, each and every day.
I wonder if I'm one of her burdens.
"Am I allowed to go see Mother?" Having to ask for permission... it's something I'd gotten used to. I sit up straight, stopping with the fidgeting of the fork between my fingertips.
"The doctor says she's okay now, is she not? I overheard Father's conversation the other day." It slipped past my mouth so easily, I forget just how I'm comfortable with Rosalind. Albeit, maybe I shouldn't have told her... seeing the change in her expression.
An out-of-character silence from her. Her smile drops, face turning solemn.
Rosalind's hand lets go of mine, gently placing it down on the table. She doesn't want me to get any more hurt. A distance is placed between us once again. Like the waves on the sea shore meeting the sand, before it goes away to retreat again. This was how short happiness felt for me.
".. Are you sure?.." She whispers quietly, hesitant.
Clearing her throat, she asks again. This time, sounding a little more straightforward. "Forgive me, My Lady but, are you sure you want to see Her Grace? The last time you visited, you seemed rather..."
I'm guilty, the conversation I had with Mother flooding back to me. I haven't opened up to Rosalind just yet. But what could I tell her?
Maybe she's pretending to not have heard our conversation. Just for my sake. No, the last time I'd spoken to Mother, I could call it a quarrel or so. It was loud, even though I didn't want it to be. Although...
Stepping in the room where Mother resides, it feels as chilly as ever when I hear the familiar creak of the floorboards under my feet. Not to mention, it suddenly felt cold. It was a simple, dimly lit room in the huge manor.
Father had requested this room to be prepared, he made all the arrangements when he wasn't busy. And then, there he left again. For me to do... what, exactly?
There, she laid in bed, tucked in all neatly until her eyelids flutter open, probably because of the floorboards creaking She didn't utter a word at first, probably thinking I was a servant that came to check in on her.
Closing the door behind me, I tread lightly as possible, wondering if she was awake—or even strong enough to hold a conversation. "Mother?" I couldn't help but coo quietly, waking over and standing from the side of the bed. From this angle, her form is still weak, though a bit better the last time the last time I saw her. The dark circles around her eyes seemed to fade away a little.
When she hears me call her, those eyes I've known throughout my life opened, and she turned her head slowly to face me. I could imagine she didn't see me well because I was blocking the light a little. However, I'm met with confusion when she says, "Caroline?" A faint smile is on her face. I haven't seen it in a while, but…
I stumble back for a moment. "What?" Feeling my arms go limp a little, they hide away at the sides.
'You know that's not my name, Mother.' I wanted to say.
"My… oh, dear, it's you." It takes a good second for her to recall my name. "Y/N? Y/N..."
"Yes, Mother," I bite the bitterness back in my tone. She called me Caroline. Again . She rises up from laying down and I stretched out my arms to help, steadying her as she sat straight. I got a proper then and there… she looked to be in no condition to get out of bed yet.
"It's me. Y/N. Have you been... feeling better?" I whisper quietly.
"Have you done what I've told you to, Y/N?" Something inside of me just cracked again. Whether it was the last bit of hope that fizzled out; the fact that same damned question is all she's asked of me the times I've come to visit.
' Y/N, have you finally done it? Did it yet? '
I bite the inside of my cheek. I didn't come here to get any angrier. Just thinking about it...
"... Mother, can't I have just... a bit of time to myself? To plan—think about it all." I shrug and giggle it off , swallowing my actual feelings. Hoping she'd understand, but..
"Y/N." She stops me with a firm tone. "Don't you see? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Any young, fair lady would jump at the chance to be near the prince——"
I can't tolerate you any longer, Mother.
Sometimes I wonder if things would be easier if you had already died. I can imagine it so vividly.
One day, Father'll walk in and play pretend... pretend that everything is okay. That one day you'll be magically cured of this disease and we'd be the same happy family again—but no. I can't... I just can't do it anymore.
I've been your doll my whole life.
The weight on my shoulders... just how many of your dreams must I fulfill?
The words she says next... it's all a blur. All that I remembered was that we argued. I yelled pretty loud—don't remember ever raising my voice like that in front of anyone, at least of all her. She screamed right back at me and it was a good couple of minutes getting under each other's skin... it seems like she forgot to breathe in that moment. Then-- she fainted.
Whether it was out of exhaustion, she used up all of her energy and her strength yelling back at me. Meaningless. Can't even recall she was screaming about. Probably him.
I realized... it was pointless. She was going to have me in the Prince's playground. Someway-somehow.
I stood there, ears ringing. I'm sure whoever was on the same floor heard the back and forth as the door behind me flew open. Lots of servants and staff rushed past me and all I could do was just stand there. Feeling lots of things.
Guilty. Helpless. Betrayed. Yet I couldn't help but feel almost... satisfied. I almost smiled.
Mother...
My eye twitches. Someone came up to me and laid their hands on my shoulders, shaking me, asking things like if I was 'okay'. But I could only watch... watch as everyone came to her side all panicked. And, I don't remember the face I made, but I was relieved that she was silenced for once. I didn't even have to lay a finger on her.
... It felt too easy.
I shook my head, coming back to the reality of where I was now in the dining room, seeing the fruits I crushed under my spoon. I'd managed to forget that the on and on bickering put my weak mother into a coma. It's been about a week or so, and I've noticed that I'm closely monitored under Father's orders. Some of the maids probably overheard what was said in Mother's room...
"... Nevermind." I dismiss the thought, taking a small bite of the waffle off my fork. "I'm sorry for bringing it up. I was just worried..."
It's all in my head, after all.
"I would like to remind that you have a very important brunch later in the Royal Palace." Rosalind brings it up out of nowhere, but I expected it. Time's moving fast, or maybe I just haven't paid too much attention, but Father was probably part of this. My parents finally pushed up the actual meeting with him. The Eldest Prince of this prestigious nation, Technoblade. I've never seen him in person-not yet, but lots of rumors, praise, and a mix of gossip swirl around him.
Despite what Mother claims, that he is in search of a bride, I've heard too much to not be suspicious of him from the servants in the Manor. It's something worth doting on and at the same time, laughing at. Which of it is true?
Things like: "He's a blood-sucker, don't you know?" — "He's all that and gallant, but can you really trust those terrifying eyes?"
"His servants hate him so much. So full of himself, demands a lot! He's terrifying!"
I remind myself to take a deep breath in and out. I thought it was something I could prevent. I'm sure Rosalind pities me, but it's her duty to follow orders. In the end, no amount of screaming or fighting would change my fate. The least I could do is try to not be a good candidate for a bride. I can't be another puppet, not again.
"Okay. I'd like to see a new collection, then, please. My wardrobe's been looking all the same, I want to make a memorable and great impression, Rosalind." I needed to come prepared. Look my best, play pretend and nod, like I always have.
"Of course, My Lady."
It seems with enough power, no matter how grueling the command is, people are always destined to obey. I sigh, getting up from the table and leaving the food there. I knew I had to get down to business.
It didn't take a long while until I was back in my room, peeking inside the huge closet that stored each dress I loved—some of them worn out, more favored than the others. Carefully assorted, they're all beloved pieces of treasure to me. When I turn around, I put on a gentle smile. I'm sure the servants know where I'm headed towards, so I didn't make a fuss and just sat down at my seat, examining each piece. This time around, someone finally realized my tastes. One the right hand-side of the room, the dresses are of a more sophisticated look.
"My Lady, how would you like this one?" The most timid servant I knew in this whole Manor, a little bit older than me, had caught my attention. I'm drifting away again...
"... May I see?" I like her taste. She knows mine too.
My heart did a little dance. It's been a while since I felt that kind of joy, but, the dress she'd presented out of a collection that no other servant seemed to bat an eye on—perhaps they thought it wasn't my style—was perfect.
I excitedly leapt out of my seat, coming forward and suddenly, I hugged her without thinking. Everyone around us is a little shocked, I can hear every quiet gasp as it fills the room...
"It's perfect, Miss Alia." I exclaim, taking a look at more of the dresses beside her. "I would like to know the person that designed and created this collection. It's nothing like I've ever laid my eyes on."
The other ladies are probably looking at me strange. I have lots of extravagant and over the top dresses, and I chose something rather simple especially for a very special occasion. When I turn around, they all seem ashamed of themselves. It's when I realize Miss Alia was the genius behind the masterpieces, but I do not announce it out loud.
Instead, I discreetly whisper to her that I could help her get out of here, have a better life.
"Okay... all these other wardrobes too, I'd like to keep them." With that over, I didn't want any commotion, so I take all the other pieces too. Rosalind observing all of this from afar, makes a careful note down in the notebook she always carries with her. After everyone leaves and I'm met with a familiar silence once again, I turn to the dress Miss Alia had shown me earlier.
This talent... I wouldn't let it go to waste like this. She should be free.
I wanted to get all ready by myself, so I told Rosalind to wait for me downstairs, informing her that I'd like to have a talk with Father later, after the brunch.
I felt more bad for a servant than I did myself.
I'd never really been too interested in the concept of dating for status, neither getting married. But it's enevitable. Mother has wanted this for, only Heavens knows how long. I sat in the back of the car, watching as buildings, people and trees go by without a thought.
"Lady Saville, you look the most upset out of all days. Why is that?" Francis, the old driver who has long been with our family and had taken me to practically everywhere, chirps. He too, notices. I sit up, looking in front. "As you can imagine, Mister, I'm not happy about the thought of marriage at my age."
His eyes meet mine in the mirror, and the old lad shakes his head. "Fret not. I have only heard good things in the Royal Palace, and the Prince himself, might I say." I know he only says these things to help me ease up. Is he really?
Prince Techno's reputation... it's a topic one could get fixated on, then get lost right afterwards. When you think about the numerous of disappearances in the palace and not to mention, its countless rumors of him secretly being a vampire... whichever one you choose to believe in, the other one slowly doesn't make sense.
Without any solid proof, it's all but talk that goes on with the wind. No other folk, at least of all, noble blood would pay any kind of attention to it.
"Ha..." I laugh weakly, wanting to change the topic. I didn't really like hearing his name. "I'm really afraid, Francis." I clutch the hem of my dress.
"Everything is expected of me. Even marriage! And I'm supposed to know how to do... everything."
"Well, everyone thinks highly of you, Lady Saville. However, it's okay to not know everything. Or even what to do in the next moment."
"At age nineteen... I believe that you have your own pace, and, it's your life to live. What bother, thinking of others at this very moment when you are headed to the Royal Palace, hm?" He tries to divert my attention. Some of it's true, I shouldn't care. I had a plan, anyway... or at least, I like to believe I did.
"You always know what to say..." I mumbled. "Thank you."
I felt all alone. My own Mother just seemed too eager to send me away, and everyone looks at me like I'm an ungrateful wretch for thinking of running away from an opportunity like this. Father... he probably wants the same aswell. To marry me off and strengthen family ties.
I shrivel and cringe at the thought of just getting married so early, and not for love. Simply put: to uphold and maintain our reputation.
After all, it's been 6 generations of sons in our family line and no daughters... then came me. The exception. The one to have broken said "misfortune" that dawned upon us. Thought I was special enough to where they wouldn't want to let me go so easily. But, maybe I was too nice to myself.
When the vehicle comes to a halt, I snapped out of my thoughts. We've arrived.
"Here we are, My Lady. At the very least, I do hope you'll try to enjoy yourself... it's a rather beautiful place, you see." I had my own initial suspicions. But Francis is not like Rosalind, I'm not as close to him as I'd like to imagine. I flash my signature polite smile and I open the door so I can step out by myself.
Memories flood back... I'm grown enough to where he doesn't need to help me down the car anymore. I hop down with great care, and there the old man took off with a wave. I mirrored the wave.
Standing tall and proud in front of me is the Royal Palace. Just for today: I'm allowed to enter. Deep breath in-- out. I handle my dress with care, trotting forward, wondering what'll come my way next.
The guards standing by at the gate and multiple more just scattered around... as expected, it's a well-guarded place. Right by the entrance: a well dressed middle-aged man. In front of him down the grand steps, just before you could enter the actual palace were a few other ladies. I couldn't hear what they were chatting up about, but the Mister had let them in without a second thought. Was this perhaps...
"Excuse me." A tap on my shoulder from behind almost drains the life out of me. I step back in a bit of shock, until I'm face to face with the lad. Possibly a staff from the palace. He looked just to be about my age and dressed neatly; same-same as the white bearded man taking attendance of the sort...
"I apologize, My Lady! I didn't mean to frighten you," He said sorry profusely.
"It's... okay. No worries." I was already on the edge of my toes, shaking my head. When Rosalind mentioned brunch... I thought it would legitimately be a one on one with---oh, whatever.
"Lady Saville, right?" I'm surprised the young gentleman knew who I was. I nod, staying poised as usual. "That's me, yes." I lied. I'm not as poised as I usually act. I'm meeting new people by myself.
"Pleased to meet you, Lady Saville. You may call me Lincoln. His Royal Highness has tasked me to make every Lady feel welcome, ensuring there is no trouble or chaos for today's brunch." The lad bowed. A short introduction at the most, but I caught on that he probably wasn't allowed to talk any more than he could.
As we got up to walking up the grand steps, verifying my identity as an attending 'Lady' was a breeze. The process that wasn't complicated in the slightest, and Lincoln continued to brief the event for today as we strode on. Once we stepped inside, I was met with a high vaulted ceiling a few steps forward. Simply put; no words, this place was breathtaking--beautiful.
From the sculpted detailing in the pillars extending high up to the ceiling, the overly squeaky clean marbled floors--along with a color palette that complemented almost, well, everything... it was spectacular. Simply put, this had been my first time ever being inside the Royal Palace... noting every detail in mind to gush to Rosalind later.
"... And right over here, just down this corridor, would be the Central Garden. Please, kindly note you are free to look around. I would however advise to stay in the general perimeter as to not get lost..." His words... it goes into one side of my ear and out the other, but I understand. I didn't want to roam around in an unfamiliar place. Though at the same time, I curiously wouldn't mind getting lost here.
"Thank you for informing and showing me around," I curtsy, grateful as ever to bump into him.
"It's my pleasure, Lady Saville. Please, feel free to stroll in the gardens. The brunch will begin momentarily. I shall leave you with a bit of free time." And with that, he'd walked off and left me alone for the time-being. Each and every corner I've seen in the palace so far... I'm sure there's many secrets in these walls. It's all but a big mystery, as I keep the rumors in mind.
A cold shiver runs down my spine, and I grimace a little. I probably shouldn't think of that at the moment.
With a shaky breath, I grab onto the handle of the door that would lead me into the garden, built right at the heart. Turning and pushing it open slowly, it was rather quiet, apart from the birds chirping. When I peeked outside, it seemed like a garden that had been drawn from a fairytale book had simply come to life in front of me. Endless greenery and color drew me in. The same pillar patterns continued outside, this time, I can admire its beauty from up close.
After what had been a quick survey, I'd assumed that simply no one was here, and that the other Ladies were simply somewhere else. A quick walk wouldn't hurt...
I had almost forgotten what I came here for.
The fountain in the middle was the perfect spot, right where the sunlight was hitting and made it look as if the water was sparkling, even in such a heat. Everything was well-maintained, as expected. What had caught my eye was a tree that seemed to be... magnolia. Almost in full bloom, just a little bit more to go. The inner parts of the flower had started to turn pink, the outer tips white.
Enamored by the beauty of the plant, a voice would interrupt my silence once again. This time around, I was expecting it. Just...
"Magnolias..." A raspy mumble. I peeked over my shoulder, but nobody was there, and it made me think if I had just imagined things or that it was a conversation I wasn't supposed to be hearing. But the person who had this voice made it clear that it was intentional: I was supposed to hear them. "They're pretty, don't you think?" This time, I spun around again, dazed.
It chuckled, the voice. "Curious?" A mere taunt, I still couldn't see whoever this figure was.
"Who's there?" I dared to ask, before the tall bush behind the magnolia not too far from me... rustled. I could see bits of color between the leaves: White and red, the colors which made up to be this mysterious' person's attire. Yet not their face or their true identity. However, it sounded more like a man. "... Who are you? How long have you been watching me?"
"Once you ask, there's no going back." It was strangely alluring, the tone of their voice simply put: Was drawing me in subconsciously. It's all so unclear to me why, the next thing I knew was my hand reached out forward, wanting to move the leaves away. The same kind of cold chill that ran down my spine. There's a deafening ring in my ears before a sudden pull on my wrist--it's firm and tight, like it never wants to let go of me. I almost fall forward, but I catch myself in time.
He says nothing, but never lets go of me. No one's ever held me so tightly, it's so sudden, but my breath catches at my throat.
What is this situation, I wonder?
"You feel familiar..." His fingertips glide across my skin. It tingles and I can't even pull back. "I'm sure I've met you before, Magnolia. Though..."
I'm not sure what his view of me is. But, I can't see him right now. No matter what I try to think of or want to try doing, I can't pull or look away. The more he talks, it's a sensation I can't describe. His voice crawls deep into my skin when he whispers the words in what seems to be French...
"Si pur..."
"Je pourrais juste t'aimer."
"Lady Saville?"
It's only when my wrist begins to hurt. Someone else searching for me and calling my name seemed to scare the mysterious person away. He broke off me so quickly. By the time I stepped away from the bush, I'm a bit shaken. And I can't tell---not right now if it was out of fear or the curiosity... I felt like going with him, but it wasn't like me to do so. I wanted to know more about who that was.
I didn't understand the words he had uttered just now.
I glance down at my right arm to see a red band on my wrist, fiercely glowing as if someone had pressed something terribly hot. It didn't burn, it stung and stuck with me.
I turned and saw Lincoln rushing down the steps down to the grass, headed right at me. For some reason, he's panicked searching for me and I quickly hide my arm behind my back. "I'm... I'm here!"
"Oh, there you are! The brunch is starting very soon... most of the ladies are gathered at the dining hall." He speaks with a worrisome tone as if I were a lost child. "I'd thought you would have already been there, my Lady."
I nod. "Oh, my deepest apologies, I was just..." Biting my lip, I decided not to tell him, gulping down yet another secret. He'd probably think I was crazy. "Ah. I was admiring these magnolias. They're very beautiful at this time of the year..."
"Yes, they are, my Lady." He offers me a smile, hand over his heart. "Though, they are rather frail in the winter. We take care of each and every flower around the castle... Magnolias happen to be the most liked around." I stare back at the tree again, unblinking. The voice that once had me in a vice grip came and went with the wind...
"Let us go now, shall we?" After a bit of chit-chat about plants, I still find something off about my surroundings. As we made a short trip to another garden a few halls down, the venue was bustling. There was a gazebo that seated everyone from the shade, a very long table generously decorated with what looked to be the most expensive silverware, more valuable than my entire house. Enough food to feed a few families... it didn't really feel like a simple brunch.
And the most important part: The other ladies waiting, talking amongst each other with a group of musicians in the distance as if it was like a gala of the sort. But would the Prince be our only entertainment?
It couldn't get any more fancier. Now I think of it... perhaps the "harem" jokes in the town were true after all. I shiver.
Just us. Although, I couldn't help but think that we were just flowers in the garden waiting to be picked...
Out in the corner of my eye, something moved in the shade. Squinting didn't help. But then right after, everyone was told to hush and quiet down. I'd assumed it was arrival of the Crown Prince. The other girls started to whisper and gush amongst themselves, some holding up fans to their face... some looking like they were going to faint any moment.
I simply wondered how he would look like in person. I've only ever seen him in paintings and what other people have described him.
Bubblegum pink hair was peculiar enough, so was the length of his hair, flushed past down his waist and almost down to his knees. Stood at a great height and most of all, made a name for himself. However it's clear that people only cared of the finer things: he was the Crown Prince; next heir to the throne.
And of course he was more than just wealthy.
"Which maiden wouldn't kill or die to get anywhere close to someone like him?" An unspoken fantasy that passed from one ear to another.
Never was there a bad word written next to this royal's name. At least... the newspapers glorify their nation's prince. Whispers have made it around, that he really *might* be a vampire. The story started from an isolated villager, who came crying to town one fine day. He claimed to be from the Hollow Forest, which for centuries, no outsider had ever returned after treading inside, completely vanishing off the face of the earth.
He was deemed a madman, and everyone who witnessed it at the town centre feared him. Not long after, he was thrown into the dungeons and never to be seen again. But, this is where everyone had started to gossip, making theories and connecting one thing to another.
Lots of legends... ranging from big beasts to endless mud that pulled you to another world. And of course: Vampires.
Or, those are simply the scary, made-up stories that majority of people have chose to believe in. I couldn't judge just yet unless I saw it for myself. There's simply no way he could be one of them... right?
I looked up from the floor, snapping out of this great debate. There's just something that felt so off about him when you're in the same vicinity as he was.
His makeshift throne-like seat had a great distance from our table. By now, he had everyone's attention: came silence. Until there was room to talk again. Lincoln started, but all I could see was him. Prince Technoblade... he sat there looking all intimidating with his hand propped up. His long, red fur cape draped down his shoulders; cocoon-like. Right now, i could only see one eye from him, and it was gleaming red. Strands of hair were also obstructing a clear view of his face.
Though, I felt as if I saw an eerie side of him I wasn't supposed to see, opposed to the beautiful picture his own people made him up to be. Like a second savior.
One thing's for sure was that he didn't flinch: Unmoving in the slightest. Blending in with the background, stiff as a statue... having a clear bird's eye view of everyone.
I glance down at my untouched food. Once again, I've lost my appetite. The room was just so lively and then—I felt my blood go cold all of a sudden when his eyes seemed to meet mine.
There he is: Prince Technoblade himself. I couldn't look away.
It could have been any other lady's eyes, but it was as if he chose me with purpose. Those eyes, I can't seem to find the exact words for it. The more we gazed at each other, the surrounding area grew lonelier, everyone started to disappear out of my vision. But why?
He's as terrifying as ever. His chin tilts against his palm, an unmistakable grin crosses his face.
This all had me thinking:
... Maybe I should have ran away after all.