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It was a gorgeous day in Corona, and the sun shone dappled patterns through the leafy canopy as Rapunzel and Cassandra lounged on a picnic blanket. They had been off on a minor adventure, searching for a rare flower Rapunzel wanted to paint, within the outer walls of Corona her father had decreed as their limits. With that mission accomplished, they were now taking their time on the return journey, picking away at a light lunch while Max and Fidella grazed by the banks of a nearby river.
After swallowing a bite of her sandwich Rapunzel leaned over, caught her friend’s eye, and with total innocent sincerity asked “Cass, what's sex?”
Cassandra nearly choked on a muffin she was eating and had to thump herself on the chest a couple times. “Excuse me?” she sputtered. “Isn’t this something you should be asking your mother?”
“Oh I did,” Rapunzel answered. “She sat me down and gave me a long talk full of words I’d never heard before, and something about flowers and seeds and eggs. She was trying her best, but I could tell she wasn’t comfortable talking about it.”
“And do I look comfortable talking about it?!”
“No… no I guess not. I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again.”
Rapunzel settled back on the blanket, stretching her legs out as she nibbled at her sandwich. Cass watched her for a long minute, then sighed.
“Alright, Raps, you’ve won me over. What do you want to know?”
Rapunzel perked up immediately. “Really? You mean it? I don’t want to force you if you don’t want to…”
“No, it’s okay. It’s the sort of thing that can get you into trouble if you don’t know it, and I’m your friend as well as being in charge of your safety. I’m not like an expert or anything, but I can give you a straight answer.” She propped herself up into a more comfortable lounging posture.
Rapunzel sat up, straightened her dress, and took a deep breath. “Okay so I’ve gathered it’s a thing that a man and a woman do together…”
“Not always,” Cass interrupted, “but we can get to that later.”
“So… what is it? How is it done?”
Cass considered for a moment. She had always preferred girls, but did have some experience with boys her age. Explaining it in terms the princess would understand might be a challenge though.
“Alright… have you ever seen a guy naked?”
“No, when would I have?”
“.....right. Uh. How about a farm, ever seen animals mating?”
“Cass, you know where I spent most of my life, and you’ve been with me most of the rest. Have I ever been to a farm?”
“Ugh. Okay, I can see why your mom had trouble. I’ll try to explain as much as I can, but you honestly don’t need to know much about the mechanics if you’re with a good partner. I’m sure that lunkhead Fitzherbert’s just gagging to teach you”. Cass shuddered dramatically at the notion. “Just promise me you’ll keep your petticoats on around anyone you don’t have absolute trust in, okay?”
“Why? Do you think someone might try to hurt me?”
Cass pinched her brow. “Honestly, yeah. Sex can be amazing, but can also be a nightmare if the person you’re with cares more about themselves than they care about you. And when people get turned on, they can make some awful choices.”
“Turned on? Like one of Varian’s contraptions?”
“No, like… uh… remember when I caught you watching Fitzherbert exercise in the yard? Remember how that made you feel?”
Rapunzel blushed and pulled her legs closer at the memory. “All tingly and warm, yes…”
“That’s what I’m talking about. You’re attracted to Fitzherbert, so watching him like that can turn you on. I’ve seen him watch you, he gets the same way about you sometimes. And when people get like that, it’s easy to make stupid decisions.”
“So everyone feels that way sometimes?”
“Most of us, yeah.” Cass stretched out, gazing up at the clouds. “Most girls are attracted to guys, and most guys are attracted to girls… though I think Nigel might be an exception. But don’t tell anyone I said that.”
“Why? Is it bad if he isn’t?”
“It’s… it’s complicated, Raps. Some guys just like guys. Homosexuals, that's the word for them. Or they aren’t attracted to anyone, and that’s okay too. Same for girls. It’s like preferring pies to cakes, maybe, but not everyone sees it that way. Nigel could get in real trouble if the wrong person heard, even if it’s just a rumour.”
Rapunzel stretched out as well, idly tracing patterns between the clouds as if painting on the sky with her fingers. “I think I like pie and cake”, she said after a while.
Cass chuckled. “Yeah, you’ve got a sweet tooth, I knew that already.”
“No, I mean I think I like guys and girls. Is that a thing?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I don’t have a word for it, but that’s a thing.”
“What about you? Who do you like, guys or girls?”
Cass stood, suddenly, wrapping her arms around herself and walking away a few paces. “This isn’t about me.”
Rapunzel sat up, looking over at her friend. “Cass, it’s okay, you can–”
“Ask me something else, okay?”
“Then tell me, Cass,” Rapunzel said as she stepped towards her friend, “who gave you this shame?”
Cass spun on Rapunzel as if shot by an arrow. “What the fuck do you mean by that?”
But Rapunzel didn’t flinch. “I may not know much about sex and relationships and all that, but I know shame. It was how Gothel controlled me. I lived with shame every day of my life until Eugene found me, and it still speaks to me in her voice, but I swore to myself that I will never listen to that voice again. You don’t have to tell me whatever it is you’re ashamed of, you have a right to keep things private if you want to. I just want to know whose voice it is in your head that makes you feel that way.”
“I… I can’t…” Cassandra’s voice cracked. “Lily. You never met her. She’s in a convent now, praying for my soul probably. It’s… it’s not a story I’m ready to share.”
Rapunzel wrapped her arms around her friend, pressing into the hard leather of her friend’s travelling outfit, and they leaned against eachother. Cass wasn’t crying, she never cried, but her breath was tight in her chest as she clung to her friend like a lifeline.
Lily had rejected her. Lily had been so beautiful, so kind and caring, but when Cass admitted her feelings Lily had called her a pervert, an abomination, and she’d fled to a convent to be safe from her. And here was her friend Rapunzel, so beautiful and kind and caring, and belonging to someone else, in love with someone else. Would she hold Cass like this if she knew what it meant to her?
Rapunzel’s fingers traced the back of Cassandra’s neck, just below her hairline, and dipped beneath the collar of her leathers.
“Wait… Raps, wait! Fuck!”
Rapunzel pulled away and began apologizing immediately. “I'm sorry, I didn't want you to– I was just trying to–”
Cass couldn't help but swear again. “Fuck. Okay. Just give me a moment.”
She walked in a circle, just taking a moment to breathe. Had the gesture really been as intimate as it had felt? Did Rapunzel even understand intimacy that way? She was so clueless sometimes, even though she always meant well. Cass couldn't blame her, she'd had only a few months to catch up on a lifetime of socialization, but it made her impossible to read.
The one thing she could trust, though, was for Rapunzel to be honest. And if Cass was wrong, they could just laugh it off and move on.
“Raps, were you… damn it, were you flirting with me?”
“I… yeah? A little. I'm sorry.” Rapunzel's apology was sincere, even though Cass could tell she didn't quite understand what she was apologizing for. But her large green eyes shone with concern, ready for Cassandra to explain how wrong she'd been as she knelt back down on the picnic blanket.
Good lord , Cass thought. Even at her meekest she's still braver than me.
“Okay, Raps. Okay.” Cass took a deep breath. “I forgive you, but let's go through it. Lesson one, don't use a vulnerable moment to flirt with someone. It's just… It's just bad, okay? Either it'll backfire or it'll be like you tricked them into something. Neither’s good.”
Rapunzel simply nodded and stayed silent. She might make a lot of mistakes, but rarely the same one twice.
“Lesson two, you have Fitzherbert.” She paced now, some tension returning to her voice. “It's a simple fact that guys don't like to share. Flirting with other people could hurt his feelings and make him not trust you. Maybe it's not cheating if you don't act on it, I don't know, that's for you and Eugene to decide. But it feels like cheating. It's wrong.”
Rapunzel cringed at that. She really should have known better on this one, and she knew it.
“Lesson three,” and there was some real heat in Cassandra's voice, “don't flirt with someone you don't actually have romantic feelings towards. It's… argh! It's just cruel, okay? Especially if they might have feelings back. Don't give someone hope for something that's impossible.”
She stopped walking and looked down at Rapunzel, still kneeling on the blanket.
Her princess looked up at her, regret in her eyes, but no shame. Never any shame. “Cass, I'm so sorry. You needed my support, and I ruined it. Can you forgive me?”
“I already said I forgive you, Raps.” Cass leaned over to help Rapunzel back to her feet. “But what the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that whatever happened with Lily left you feeling unloved and undesired, and I didn’t want you to feel that way because it isn’t true. How I expressed that, and the moment I chose, were both wrong. I see that now. But it’s still important to me that you know you’re loved and desired.”
“But Fitzherbert…”
“I know. I’ll talk to him, I promise. I’m not sure what I’ll say, yet, but I’ll talk to him.”
------------------
It did not take long to return to the castle and change out of their traveling clothes, and even less time to find Eugene lounging in his room, draped sideways over a chair that may have cost more than the average labourer’s monthly wage.
“Hey, Blondie! Did you know you can ask the kitchen staff for basically anything and they’ll just whip you up a plate?” Eugene gestured to a small charcuterie board on the end table next to him.
Cass scoffed and rolled her eyes, but Rapunzel just smiled. “Aren’t you going to ask how the trip went?”
Eugene flashed her a knowing look. “Darling, you know I’d be thrilled to see the painting, and if you wanted me to see it right now you would have brought it with you. So for now, try an olive! They put this weird red stuff inside that is to die for!”
They entered and Cass leaned against the wall with feigned nonchalance while Rapunzel closed the door. “Actually, Eugene, there's something I'd like to talk about.”
“Yeah? What is it, Sunshine?”
“What do you think about homosexuals?”
Cass just smirked as Eugene nearly choked on a pickle he was eating and had to thump himself on the chest a couple times. “That's a hell of a thing to spring on someone out of nowhere, Blondie. Why do you ask?”
“If… someone… were to realize they were attracted to someone of the same gender, what would that mean?” Rapunzel pointedly avoided looking anywhere near Cass, and instead held Eugene's gaze as firmly as she could.
Eugene took a moment, and when he responded his voice was considerably quieter and more intense. “It would mean, Rapunzel, that they could be in vey real trouble if the wrong people found out. But whoever they are, I will do my absolute best to protect them.”
“This is something you care about deeply?”
“Growing up on the streets”, Eugene murmured, “you meet a lot of kids who lost their homes because of who they loved. There's only so many times you can look someone in the eyes after their parents rejected them before you know you're going to have to choose a side. I've chosen mine. If you or the Ice Queen over there chose differently, we'll deal with it. Somehow. But while I didn't have many principles from before I met you, I did have one and this is it.”
“Oh, Eugene!” Rapunzel swept him into an embrace, clinging tight for a long moment. “That's a wonderful answer, and I agree entirely. Nobody should be hid away for who they are.”
“I guess you'd know a thing or two about that, eh Blondie?”
“Just a thing or two, yeah.”
Eugene brushed a strand of hair from Rapunzel's face and kissed her forehead tenderly, before turning to Cassandra. “Does that meet with your approval too, Oh Prickly One?”
“I gotta admit it, Fitzherbert,” she said with something resembling a smile, “you've impressed me so far. But she isn't done yet.”
Rapunzel bit her lip and blushed, but didn't avert her eyes. “Before I say this part Eugene, know that I'm in love with you and you mean the world to me…”
“I am suddenly struck by a sense of ominous foreboding,” Eugene quipped, “but that's been the case since the Frost Witch over there came into my room. Carry on at your own speed, Rapunzel.”
She stared at him for a moment. Then she blurted, "I like both cake and pie!"
Eugene blinked. "Uh. What?"
“Oh dear.” Rapunzel blushed, then gathered herself and backtracked. “What I mean is, I think I'm attracted to girls as well as guys. And I need to tell you that I flirted with one before I realized it would be a problem for you.”
Eugene’s eyes widened a moment, but he covered it immediately, slapping his knees and leaning back against the chair. “Well, Blondie, that's certainly something! Why, if we were engaged, I might have actual cause for complaint! Er… this isn't why you turned down my engagement, is it?”
Rapunzel shook her head vigorously. “No! No, this is only recent.”
“Well then it's all fair play, isn't it? I don't know how the upper class hoity toities do it, but where I come from it'd be my job to give you a good enough reason to stay. The only thing I ask for is honesty.”
“Honesty?”
“Yeah like,” Eugene said while scratching his goatee, “you know… no lying about where you're going and who you're with. And if it goes beyond flirting, let me know who it is so I know what I'm up against.”
Rapunzel smiled. “Of course. I never want to keep anything from you. And it's only fair that I extend the same courtesy to you, if you find anyone that strikes your fancy. After all, I'm the one that turned you down! I still hope to marry you one day, but you have every right to pursue other women – or men! And if you find someone better for you than I am, I'd rather see you with them and happy than with me and sad.”
At that, Eugene stepped forward and lifted Rapunzel's chin with his finger until they were nose to nose. “That, my dear princess,” he said softly, “is utterly impossible. Pigs will fly and Cassandra’s icy little heart will melt before I even entertain the notion of someone making me happier than you.”
Cass made a gagging gesture from against the wall.
“Oh, Eugene,” Rapunzel sighed, and rested her head against his chest, “I feel the same way. I really do. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm living in a dream I never want to end. It just feels right in a way I could happily spend my whole life trying to understand.”
Then she turned and took a step away. “But when I'm with this… other person, it's different, like together we can defy all rules and restrictions and be free. You set me free of Gothel, but they set me free of my father. I'm not sure that makes any sense at all, but it's something I want to understand, just as much as I want to understand what you and I share.”
“I don't pretend to understand what exactly you're feeling, Sunshine. Freedom's been my whole life, but not yours, and the last thing I ever want to do is put limits on your freedom to express yourself in whatever way you choose. You'll never find your answers unless you have a chance to explore this. You have my blessing, and whoever it is must be an extremely lucky woman.”
He paused and considered for a moment. “Is it Faith?”
Rapunzel glanced at Cassandra for the first time since her confession.
Cassandra froze.
The moment only lasted a fraction of a second, but the damage was done.
All hell broke loose. Eugene was genuinely flabbergasted. Cass was furious, half at Rapunzel for outing her and half at Eugene for figuring it out so easily, which set Eugene off even more. And in the middle was Rapunzel who couldn't even understand what was going on, but at some point she simply sat on the floor and waited for them to come to their senses.
It took a while, and Cassandra was halfway through a blistering indictment of Eugene's personal hygiene and likelihood of venereal disease, when Eugene paused to ask what Rapunzel was doing down there.
“Waiting”, she said simply.
“For what, Raps,” asked Cass, still with some fire in her voice from her tirade against Eugene.
She looked up at them from her chosen place on the floor. “Waiting to see if this can still work.”
Eugene knelt next to Rapunzel and assured her, “everything I said is still true. I don't have to get along with Miss Heartless over here to support you in whatever you choose to do. I'm confused perhaps, appalled even,” he said as he let some of his trademark dramatic flair back into his voice before bringing his tone back down, “but rest assured I will still fight to protect whatever it is you two share.”
Rapunzel turned and looked up at Cassandra, who had taken a step back with her arms wrapped tight around herself. “And you, Cass? Can we make this work?”
Waves of conflicting emotions battled across Cassandra's face. “I don't,” she hesitated, “I want… it isn't that simple for me, Raps. I'm sorry. It's not about Eugene, I'm just… I can't…”
“It’s okay, Cassandra.” Rapunzel stood, taking one of Cass’s hands in hers. “This only works if you choose it to. But the offer is open, and you know where to find me.”
Cass didn't cry. She never cried. But as she held Rapunzel's hand there, her eyes did glisten.