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My Garry’s Mod Server: GM_Construct

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The server buffered for a moment, before loading into the familiar map that thousands, nay, millions of humans had spent their childhood in: GM_Construct. Even now, servers across the world buzzed with activity, as children and adults of all ages interacted with this icon of gaming. But, for the first time, it seemed that a machine would spend time in such a place. Well, not truly for the first time, bots had defiled the map since 2009, but the small worker drone sitting before the old CRT monitor pulled out of a dump was no simple AI. Its “eyes”, two bright yellow ovals upon an LED visor, gazed in wonder at the majesty that was GM_Construct.

But, the small worker did not just have the wonders of Garry’s Mod before them, as there was also a video camera in front of them. The camera, capturing everything in a crisp 280p, gazed dutifully on the worker drone in the maid outfit and cartoonishly large bow, as she looked towards the camera.

“Hello, humans. I am Cyn. This is the start of my gaming channel. Today I am playing Garry’s Mod.” Cyn picked up the camera, aiming it towards the screen, before pressing F1 on the keyboard. “I have modded this garry a lot, so we will have lots of fun! Giggle.” She said, flicking through the menu. “Today we are on GM-underscore-Construct, and we will be doing activities. Remember to ‘hit’ the like button and ‘smash’ the subscribe button, or else I will eat your toes.” Cyn turned the camera back towards her, flashing a wide smile. “Yummers.” Then she turned the camera back towards the screen, and spawned in a melon.

“This is a: melon. I will do a magic trick with it. Giggle. Watch me make this melon disappear.” Then Cyn swapped to the shotgun and blew it up. “Very magic. Yippee!” Cyn raised her hands into the air in celebration of her accomplishment, accidentally knocking the camera over in the process.

Cyn looked at the camera on the floor for a while. “Whoops.” She carefully fell off the lawn chair she was sitting on, putting the camera back where it was. “There we go, silly.” She twirled the mouse around, getting herself re-oriented, before pressing V and F1.

“Now, I will make more things disappear.” She spawned in a metrocop, which shot at her with a pistol. “Whoops. I forgot to make him friendly. Oh well. You will see him disappear early. Giggle.” She right-clicked on the metrocop with the shotgun, causing it to die of death, the impact of two shells at point-blank range causing the NPC’s flesh to buckle and deform, which led to the computer's fans speeding up. Realistic gore mods weren't exactly resource-light, after all. Then Cyn pressed the button to turn NPC AI friendly. “There we go!” Then she walked over the metrocop’s corpse, picking up the health pack it dropped. The health pack wasn't enough to bring her back to full health. “Annoyed expression.” She spawned in another metrocop, killed it, and picked up its health pack. That did the trick.

Cyn pressed R, reloading the shotgun. “I like the ‘shotgun’. It is my favorite.” Then she started noclipping around the map, spawning in metrocops and explosive barrels.

After placing everything, Cyn switched to the crossbow, ran over to the garage, landing on the roof and exiting noclip. “For my next trick, I will take all these Combines, and transform them into dead.” She pressed the button to turn NPC Ai hostile, and almost immediately a stream of small arms fire raced towards her.

Cyn went to work, shooting one of the explosive barrels with the crossbow. This, unsurprisingly, caused it to explode, which caused a nearby barrel to explode. This domino effect continued, pushing the ancient computer to its limits as it tried to render so many explosions at once, until almost all of the metrocops were dead. Except one.

“Look at that goober.” Cyn said, zooming in to focus on it. “He did not disappear. How unfortunate. Now I will have to kill him in a way that matters.” Then she aimed where the metrocop’s crotch would be, and shot a piece of superheated rebar into it. The metrocop died instantly.

“Giggle. I am so naughty.” Then Cyn went back to the spawn menu, looking for something new to do.

Behind Cyn, the sound of a door opening could be heard. “Oh, buddy, there you are!” A light voice floated through the room, making Cyn jump. “W-we, uh, didn't know where you were, I've been looking for you, um…”

“Hi, N!” Cyn turned around, kneeling on the seat, almost knocking her chair over in the process. She was just so happy to see her big brother, her hands were gripping the plastic chair, to the point that it began to warp slightly under her grip. She really wanted to give him a hug, to be held in his arms.

Then she remembered she was doing a video, and turned back around. “Criss-cross, applesauce. Please don't interrupt me, big brother. I am becoming an ‘epic gamer’.”

N blinked. “A what?”

“An ‘epic gamer’. It's a thing humans do.”

“O-oh… Sounds important.” N chuckled to himself. “Just, uh, Tessa decided to have a movie night.” The human’s name and the words “movie night” made Cyn perk up. “She wanted to ask if you wanted to come.”

Cyn slowly turned towards N. “Question. What movie are we watching?”

“Oh, it's this old movie called Jurassic Park. I don't know anything about it, but apparently it has dinosaurs! Isn't that cool?”

Cyn paused for a moment, before making the camera face her again. In the corner of its view, a male drone with white visor lights in a butler outfit could be seen. “It looks like this video is over now. I have to watch Jurassic Park with my big brother! Giggle.” Cyn smiled wide, she would be grinning from ear-to-ear if she had any.

“Uh, Cyn, buddy, who are you talking to?”

“The audience! Giggle. Speaking of you sillies, remember to ‘hit’ the like button and ‘smash’ the subscribe button. I will be inside your walls with another gaming video. Goodbye.”

Then the camera turned off.

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Generating World…

The ancient computer buffered for a moment, its systems not used to running this modern program, before creating a vibrant world. A world that, despite being newly made, could be recognized by almost anyone. For this world was made entirely out of blocks.
This is Minecraft.
Does one even need to introduce the concept of Minecraft? This game was the most popular in the world, it had been the childhood of millions, nay, billions of humans, and remained in the highest echelons of gaming.
But, for the first time, it seemed that a machine would spend time in such a place. Well, not truly for the first time, bots and AI had been let loose in this game since its first inception. But the small worker drone sitting before the old CRT monitor pulled out of a dump was no simple AI. Its “eyes”, two bright yellow ovals upon an LED visor, gazed in wonder at the majesty of the world it had created.
At first glance, the world wasn't much. The player had spawned in a dark oak forest biome, directly in front of a pile of mossy cobblestone, which completely blocked their view. Still, not a bad spawn.
And the small worker did not just have the wonders of Minecraft before them, as there was also a newly stolen webcam and microphone setup in front of them. The camera, capturing everything in a crisp 480p, gazed dutifully on the worker drone in the maid outfit and cartoonishly large bow, as she paused the game and looked towards the camera with a dangerously silly expression.
“Hello, humans. I am Cyn. Welcome back to my gaming channel. I have just learned how to make a YouTube video, so we will be doing something special. Today we mine! Today we craft! Today we Minecraft! Yippee!” The force of Cyn’s excitement caused her to fall out of her plastic lawn chair.
Cyn mantled back onto the chair, which was not easy for her because, despite being a robot, she had the strength and constitution of a sickly Victorian child. “G0d fu-fuuu– d-d-d4mit–” She muttered, rubbing a small crack in the side of her visor. Then she remembered that the microphone was on. “Ignore what I did not just say. Failure to ignore what I did not just say will result in: family-friendly gore. Giggle.”
Cyn managed to get back into her makeshift gaming chair. “Today, I will survive in Minecraft. Remember to ‘hit’ the like button and ‘smash’ the subscribe button, or else I will eat your toes.” Cyn flashed a wide grin at the camera. “Yummers.”
Cyn unpaused the game, turning around to do the classic Minecraft start: break a tree, get logs, craft the logs into planks, use the planks to make a crafting table and sticks, use all three to make wood tools. The sequence every child raised on the Internet knows by heart.
“I told my Big Brother that I am being an epic gamer today, so he will not interrupt us by accident like last time. Movie night was very fun, though.” Cyn said as she mined some stone for a better pickaxe. “I also saw that, in my last video, a lot of you really like Big Brother N.” Then Cyn looked directly into the camera. “Stop asking if you can have him. I know he is cute, but he is mine, giggle.”
Cyn made a furnace, and put the wooden pickaxe inside to use as fuel. “Goldfish are very cool. I'm sad I can't eat them. This cave will be my home now.” Cyn looked around at the small hole in the side of a hill she had found. “I need lights to keep monsters from sneaking. Then they will get snuck up on. By me. Giggle.” Cyn put some logs in the furnace, turning them into charcoal until the wooden pickaxe was used up. Then she turned the charcoal into torches, and placed them haphazardly around the cave. “I don't like lights. They are too bright. Does this mean that I am Creeper from Minecraft?” Cyn left the cave to admire her handiwork. “Type your answers in the comments section, or I will blow up your house (in Minecraft).”
Cyn went back into the cave, crafted a door, and blocked up the cave entrance with wood planks. “Why does it give three doors? I do not need that many. Oh well, I can use one for my mine. I need…” Cyn looked at a piece of paper with item recipes and math drawn on it, as well as some doodles of dogs, “twenty-nine iron and ten copper for a silly surprise, giggle.” Cyn mined out a 2x1 hole in the back of the cave, then put one of the doors in it. “This is my mine.” Then she started digging a two-block-tall staircase down, in search of various metals.
“I had a nice day. There is another drone who I work with. Her name is J. She’s the Head Maid. I don’t like her very much, she forgets to let me out of my basement time-out. She tripped on a carpet and fell on her face… Today was a good day.” Then Cyn came across a copper vein. “Wowzers.” She mined out the vein. “There is a lot of copper in Minecraft. I also have copper. I am copper. And other metals. I haven't counted them though.” Cyn kept mining. “I could sell my parts for a better computer. They will be replaced. Infinite money. Yippee!” She kept mining. There wasn’t any ore in sight. “There is also a lot of stone in Minecraft. I do not also have stone, though.” She kept mining. Her pickaxe broke. “Whoops.”
She started to run back up the mine, and hit her head on the roof of the two-block-tall staircase. “Ow. Also, that is sarcasm. I need to make the stairs bigger.” She ran up the stairs, crafted a new pick, and started widening the staircase to three blocks tall. “Mining is not very interesting. I will respond to some of your comments on the last video. That will be interesting.” Cyn couldn't pull up the video while Minecraft was open, but she had thought ahead. She had screenshotted the entire comment section and printed it out. She held up the printed pages. “I used up all the ink. Giggle, I am so naughty.” Cyn propped the pages up, and started reading while mining. “BigChungus_69 says: ‘cutte!!1’. Thank you, BigChungus_69.”
“QUASO says: ‘first’. You were not first. BigChungus_69 was first.”
“xX_risenshine_Xx says: ‘Introduce me to your brother PLEASE! I am a worker drone on Copper-9 and no one there is as cute as he is! Please ever since I layd eyes on him I am gojng isane! Thos is not my account I saw himans watching this video and am using their phone. Please i need someone to be mutually obsessed with befor i die in an industrial accedenr!’. No, he is mine.”
“SamuraiBloxXDDD says: ‘this game looks atupid it's so bad and they stole from skinsi toilet also ur bro is hot pls be boyfent’. …I do not know what ‘skinsi toilet’ is. But Garry's Mod did not steal anything, so you are wrong. Also, no, he is mine.”
“UTTPofficer4562 says: ‘1ST WARNING TROLL! MY VIDEO lS BETTER THAN THIS lNCOHERENT & SOULLESS GOYSLOP! UTTP'S FAR BETTER THAN WHATEVER THIS NONSENSE IS!’ You are a stupid idiot.”
“ReeLitigation says: ‘Bangin’ video my clanka. Haven’t seen a drone youtuber before. Keep it up!’. Thank you, ReeLitigation.”
“amogus_lain says: ‘* sees Cyn's brother * sighs *checks comments* (also W O U L D)’. …What does that mean?” Cyn flipped through the next few pages. “I changed my mind. The rest of these are just people talking about how much they like Big Brother N. I do not want to read all that.”
Cyn put the pages to the side, and continued mining. “Please make better comments this time.” Then she found a cave. “Wowzers…I do not have enough torches.” Cyn placed a single torch down and ran back up the stairs. “I need coal. I don’t have any coal.” Cyn checked her inventory. “I have the third door. I can use that to make charcoal.” Cyn put some wood planks in the furnace, and used the door to use as fuel. “…Why is it not burning?” Cyn checked the recipes tab. “It needs logs. Not planks. I don’t have logs. I need to murder a tree.” Cyn went to the door of the cave. “It is night. There are monsters sneaking. Shiver, shiver, very scary. Also, that is sarcasm.” Cyn equipped a stone axe and sneaked out of the door. “I also need gunpowder for my secret surprise.” She spotted a zombie. The zombie spotted her. “Hello, silly. I need your flesh right now.” Cyn ran up to the zombie and jump-critted it with the axe.
Unfortunately for Cyn, a jump-crit with an unenchanted stone axe is incapable of one-shotting a zombie. So she just hit it again, which did the trick.
“Thank you for your flesh. Gimmie.” Cyn picked up the zombie’s drops. A piece of rotten flesh and an iron ingot. “I have iron. Yippee!” Then she ate the rotten flesh, and got the hunger status effect. “Celebration food. Yummers.”
Cyn then began chopping down trees for logs. “I hope no creepers are sneaking. Also, that is sarcasm.” Another zombie appeared. Cyn beat it to death with an axe. “Why are the Creepers not creeping? Are they stupid?” Cyn stopped chopping down trees and started looking for Creepers. She found one quickly. “Found you!” Cyn rushed the Creeper and tried to one-hit it with her axe.
It didn't work.
So she hit it again, just before it could explode. That did kill it, and it dropped two pieces of gunpowder. “Yippee! Now I just need…” Cyn checked the paper with math on it. “Nevermind. I have all the gunpowder I need for now. All I need is iron and copper.”
Cyn went back into the cave, went back into the mine, remembered she went outside to get logs for charcoal for torches, went out of the mine, turned the logs into charcoal, turned the charcoal into torches, and went back into the mine, and then went back into the new cave.
“Whoops. Silly me.”
Cyn started exploring the new cave. Like most caves, the ore spawns were bad.
“I hope I do not find Herobrine. Nervous giggle. That is not sarcasm.” Cyn started mining through the walls in search of more metals. “There is not a lot to talk about when I’m mining.” Cyn kept mining around. She found the remaining copper, but no iron.
“I could tell a story while I am mining. I know, since you like Big Brother N so much, I will talk about our movie night. Then you might remember that he is mine.” Cyn’s head tipped over, so she held her head up with her hand. “Last night, we watched a movie called Jurassic Park. It is a very old movie. It was not just me and Big Brother though. There were also some other people. Tessa was the one who found the movie, and got us to watch it. She is a human, like all of you sillies. She also likes Big Brother N very much. Maybe all humans like Big Brother N too much. She also likes J for some reason. I don’t know how anyone could like J.”
Cyn broke into an underground ravine, and almost fell into lava. “Whoopsies.” She looked around, and saw that there was a decent amount of iron in the walls. “Jackpot. This should be all I need. Yippee!” This time, Cyn caught herself before she fell off the chair. She started cobble-bridging up to the iron ore.
“There was also another drone with us. I didn’t tell you about her. Her name is V. She is also a maid. She really likes Big Brother N. She likes him even more than you goobers do. This is surprising, because you all like him too much. Big Brother N also likes her… I would tell you how I feel about her, but if N ever found out, he would be sad at me. And I know that if I tell you, you will probably tell him.”
Cyn collected the iron, as well as some nearby redstone. “Better safe than sorry, giggle. With this, I can finally make my secret special surprise.”
Cyn walked all the way back up to her cave home, which took about a minute. She made a second furnace, and started smelting the iron and copper. “I am lucky I do not need logs for my surprise.”
After a couple of minutes, the metals finally finished smelting. “Watch this.” Cyn went to the crafting table, and started crafting. First she made an iron block. Then she put the iron block in the center of the crafting table, filled the top row with spruce planks, and put iron ingots in the middle and bottom side slots. With this, she crafted the Gun Workbench.
“Giggle. Surprise! I have modded this Garry as well. This mod is called Timeless and Classics: Zero. It looks very tasty. Thank you, Timeless and Classics: Zero, for existing.” Cyn plopped the Gun Workbench down next to the furnace stack, and crafted a Glock and ammo. “It gives sixty rounds for only two gunpowder and ten copper. I can be silly with this, giggle.” She put the Glock in her item slot, pulling it out and letting the inspect animation play. “Very tasty.” Then she loaded a magazine in. “VERY tasty, giggle.”
Cyn looked at the camera and paused the game. “This is a good place to end the video. I will be doing silly things in the next video. You will have to wait and see. Remember to ‘hit’ the like button and ‘smash’ the subscribe button. I will be inside your walls with another gaming video. Goodbye!”
Then, after a bit of finagling with the controls, the camera turned off.