Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The frigid early morning air rasped at Nam-gyu's lungs as he walked aimlessly after his shift. The city lights seemed blurred, as if his mind no longer wanted to register anything. The fatigue wasn't just physical; it was a constant weight pressing on his chest, an emptiness he'd learned to ignore… until that night it became unbearable.

He stood on the edge of a bridge, staring into the dark water. His hands were shaking, and for a moment he thought that if he closed his eyes and just let himself fall, it would all be over. There would be no shifts, no forced smiles, no unwelcome customers.

Maybe the peace he'd been seeking would be found if he jumped.

What if he did? He had no family, at least not since his sister's death; he hadn't seen his friends in years; he had a shitty job where he was completely replaceable, as in every aspect of his life. Nam-gyu could disappear and no one would notice. So why continue?

He was tired.

And maybe it was time to finally rest…

It wasn't planned. He didn't wake up this morning thinking about committing suicide at the end of his shift, though the thought had been on his mind for longer than he could remember. Perhaps that's what usually haunts the minds of people who do it.

He bitterly wiped away a few tears he shed as he imagined Hyun-ju feeling so miserable in the last few minutes of her life, and how stupid he was not to realize it or not be able to do something to help her.

But here he was, and his fate would be decided if he took one more step…

"It seems cold down there," said a deep voice beside him. "But it's a beautiful view to die on, don't you think?", Nam-gyu turned sharply. A tall man with broad shoulders and an impossible to read gaze was watching him as if he'd known him forever. There was no urgency or concern in his expression, only a strange calm that made him more uncomfortable than any warning.

“What the fuck do you care?” Nam-gyu replied in a small voice. The man lit a cigarette as he watched him.

“I don’t care. But it would be a shame if you jumped today.” Nam-gyu frowned. The man didn’t try to dissuade him, nor did he seem the least bit concerned; it was as if he’d actually dared to converse with Nam-gyu, ignoring the fact that he was about to commit suicide.

“Why?”

“Because it would be a shame. It’s a full moon today. Not every night looks this pretty,” he replied with an ambiguous glint in his eyes, before exhaling smoke and walking away.

That absurd, almost insulting answer left him bewildered. Enough to make him freeze for a few seconds… and those seconds were what pulled him back from the brink. Nam-gyu took it as a sign. Maybe Hyun-ju sent that man to keep him from jumping. It was her way of asking him to hold on a little longer. When he blinked, the man had already walked away, disappearing into the shadows of the street.

The next night, the club was packed. Neon lights, enveloping music, and the scent of expensive perfume mixed with alcohol. Nam-gyu had managed to overcome his emotional slump in record time. He was lucky he hadn't done anything stupid, but that damn sadness that sometimes invaded him was so strong… And he woke up in such good spirits. He took a long shower, dressed in his best clothes, used perfume, and even dared to wear black eyeliner.

After all, he didn't earn such good commissions as a promoter in rags and a sour face. That night, as always, he arrived impeccably dressed, walking between the tables with a professional smile.

He didn't notice at first, as it was one of the busiest nights, and the club was starting to become known. It was when he turned to place a drink on a table that he saw him: the man from the bridge. Same suit, same direct gaze. He wasn't sure if the man had recognized him as well, but he approached when he saw his raised hand; after all, it was his job to ensure every customer had a pleasant experience.

"Good evening, are you being served yet?" Nam-gyu said, maintaining his smile, even though his stomach sank.

"Good evening... fellow bridge member," he replied with a half smile. Nam-gyu clenched his jaw, but didn't rise to the bait.

"What will you have?"

"Whatever you make me," he replied, leaning toward him with dangerous calm.

"I've got it. I'm Nam-gyu," he introduced himself.

"Su-bong, but call me Thanos," the man replied.

Nam-gyu smiled professionally, but inside he felt there was more to the conversation. He poured the drink with measured movements. Su-bong didn't mention anything else about the previous night, and neither did Nam-gyu.

"Do you always work here?" Su-bong asked, breaking the silence.

"Whenever there isn't a full moon," he replied with a hint of irony. Su-bong smiled faintly, as if he'd read his mind.

Weeks later, Nam-gyu was walking around the lounge, his tray balanced in one hand, his best smile on his face, even though his jaw muscles were already aching. He'd been hearing the same old phrases for three hours: "Don't you get tired of looking so handsome?" "How much do you charge for a specialty drink?" "Do you have a partner?"

That night, Nam-gyu waited on call distracted and nervous. He checked the door every few minutes, unwilling to admit he was waiting for someone.

"Nam-gyu." When he heard that deep voice calling his name, his heart skipped a beat.

There he was, sitting at the farthest table in the back, just like always. Thanos. It wasn't his real name, but that's what everyone in the club knew him as, and Nam-gyu wasn't allowed to share that information with anyone. Impeccable black shirt, the top two buttons undone, a watch worth more than the monthly salary of any employee there. He had that unsettling look in his eyes: direct, intense, as if he could read more than you were saying.

And of course, they allowed him to come back and do whatever he wanted in the club because he was obviously a man with a lot of money, but he was also a bit of a jerk, too fussy for Nam-gyu's taste, too demanding.

"Where have you been, Namsu? You know I only want to be served by you. No one else." It wasn't a request; it was an order disguised as politeness. Nam-gyu nodded, trying to hide the tension in his voice.

"Excuse me, I didn't know if you'd be coming today since you have a habit of disappearing without warning," Nam-gyu chided as he poured his drink.

“I didn't know we were exclusive,” Su-bong replied, his tone seeming to mock his own words. The tray in Nam-gyu's hand weighed a little more at this, and Su-bong must have noticed the change. “Why don't you get the usual and we can chat a little?”

It wasn't the first time. Su-bong always asked for more than just a drink: he asked about his age, his family, if he lived alone, if he had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Details that were no one's business, much less a customer's. But the tips were truly generous, and in a place like the Pentalon, that was enough to teach you to smile while swallowing discomfort.

Besides, Su-bong would never have a way to verify whether the information Nam-gyu gave him was true. The guy was scary, but he was good to Nam-gyu, he could deal with that; he just asked for a little company and drinks. He preferred that a thousand times over the guys who used to ask him to give them a blowjob or go to the bathroom with them.

Nam-gyu went to the bar to make his drink. While it wasn't exactly a job description, it was also a requirement of Su-bong, the only person supposed to be in charge of serving him completely. He apparently believed they had some kind of complicity since the first time they met.

At the bar, while he was making the drink, a colleague approached him. "Nam-gyu, be careful with that guy," he whispered, making sure no one was listening. "Nobody knows what he does... but they say his money is dirty. And it's not a good idea to mess with him."

"And who frequents this place doesn't have dirty money?" Nangyu replied without interest. He wasn't an idiot, and he'd heard different versions before: that Su-bong was a businessman with illicit businesses, that he moved contraband, that he had connections with dangerous people. It was all rumors, but it was enough to give the air around him a different weight.

The other barista took his arm and leaned closer. “Nangyu, take a good look at this place. Those guys? They're not customers, they come with him, and they look like infiltrators, like his personal security,” he insisted with concern.

“Minsu,” Nam-gyu called, freeing himself from his grasp, “if you want to keep your job here, I recommend you stop talking about this kind of shit.”

“But that guy, that Thanos guy…”

“That's my problem,” Nam-gyu finished, returning to the table. When he returned with the drink, Su-bong greeted him with a slow nod of approval.

“Thanks. By the way…” his fingers brushed Nam-gyu's as he took the glass. “That shirt looks good on you.” Nam-gyu faked a smile.

“It's part of the uniform.”

“Still, you look… interesting, but you know what I don’t like?” he asked in a tone of voice that Nam-gyu detected as not entirely friendly, and confirmed it when Su-bong held his face a little roughly and touched his cheekbone. Nam-gyu flinched at the pain. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Nam-gyu fell silent and looked away, slightly embarrassed. Yes, he had covered the red marks from the blow with makeup; was that a crime? He didn’t know how to respond, or rather, what to say to him.

“What happened?” Su-bong whispered, letting go of him, arranging Nam-gyu’s hair as if it were a doll. “I thought you didn’t have a boyfriend.” Oh, he thought Nam-gyu had some kind of abusive boyfriend. 

No, not anymore. 

“And I thought we weren't exclusive,” Nam-gyu replied. He knew he could get in trouble for answering like that, but damn, he deserved it. At least for a moment, seeing him clench his jaw felt gratifying. “It was a client,” Nam-gyu admitted. “It really doesn't matter.”

“It does to me,” Su-bong insisted. “Did he try to make a pass at you?” he inquired.

“Yeah, but I'm used to it. Some guys are pushy, but this one waited for me outside after my shift and wanted me to give him a blowjob. I told him to fuck off, and well…” Nam-gyu comically pointed at his cheekbone.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that,” Su-bong said, seeming sincere, as if he was rummaging through his pockets. “I brought something for you. I hope you like it.”

Before he could respond, or even look at the gift Su-bong had brought for him, an overly drunk customer walked by, stopping at their table to pull Nam-gyu down, calling him a “cheap prostitute.” Nam-gyu tensed, but before he could turn around, Su-bong was already standing, standing between them.

“Don’t talk to him like that again. You better get the hell out,” he said, his voice low, but his tone chilling. The drunk muttered something and staggered away. Su-bong sat back down as if nothing had happened.

“Always so dramatic?” Nam-gyu said, but there was a spark of gratitude in his tone.

“I don’t like people touching what isn’t theirs,” Su-bong replied before pulling him down to press his lips against Nam-gyu’s. He let the feeling of being desired wash over him, for a moment allowing himself to think that he was special.

“Does that mean I'm yours? Just me?” Nam-gyu asked, just because he could.

“Don't push your luck, baby. I don't like the idea of you being disrespected.” Nam-gyu didn't know whether to be grateful or worried.

“I stopped worrying about that a long time ago,” Nam-gyu answered sincerely.

“Do you like your life, Namsu?” Su-bong asked. Of course, he knew it wasn't his name, but he used to tell him it was a corny gimmick, like a nickname of sorts. Nam-gyu nodded. “Then say it.”

“I guess so.”

“ Guess isn't a complete yes,” Su-bong insisted, taking his hand. “Think about it these days.”

“These days”? That was unusual. Su-bong usually came to the club almost every time, except for a few periods when he would disappear for a few days and return a little more somber, even more eager to know about Nam-gyu and his life.

“Are you leaving again?” Nam-gyu asked.

“For a few days,” Su-bong affirmed, “that’s why I brought you a gift.” Nam-gyu frowned as he opened the small box. Inside was a watch very similar to the one Su-bong was wearing; that was worth a lot of money. Nam-gyu would probably have to work nonstop for five lifetimes until he earned half the money to buy one just like it. “You deserve this and much more,” Su-bong opened his wallet.

“Don’t buy me with this,” he said, feeling a pressure in his chest. Perhaps what they were whispering in the club was true, and Su-bong saw him as a prostitute.

“I’m not trying to buy you,” he replied with an enigmatic smile. “Just to make up for my absence.”

“No, I can’t accept that,” he said, refusing the money.

“Nam-gyu, I don't know when I'll be back, and I don't want to leave you with nothing. Consider this as insurance against any emergency that might arise.”

“Dude, don't you have a family or anyone else? Why take such care of a fucking promoter?” Nam-gyu couldn't believe it.

“Why not?” was all Su-bong replied. Namgyu swallowed his disappointment when he wasn't corrected. So, he was just a promoter to him. “I'm interested in you, Nam-gyu. I thought I'd been pretty obvious about that.”

“Then why have you never invited me to your house or asked for my number? Why do we only meet here?” Nam-gyu asked, hoping Su-bong would admit that she had feelings for him beyond desire.

“I think you're asking the wrong questions, baby,” was the only response he got from Su-bong before offering him a pill. It was another reason why this man was so special. He didn't judge Nam-gyu's tastes; they enjoyed it together. “But when I get back, maybe I can pick you up and take you home, if that makes you happy. And no, you're not just a promoter to me.”

Nam-gyu looked at him. No one had ever said it like that. No one had ever looked at him like that.

“Promise,” Nam-gyu asked before meeting his lips again.

“I promise, Namsu.”

Su-bong stayed for another hour. Unlike other, more casual goodbyes, this time he hugged him, asked him to take care of himself, and Nam-gyu took the opportunity to slip a card with his phone number into his pocket. Maybe, just maybe, a part of him might miss that idiot if he was really going to be gone for that long.

Su-bong was a mystery, and probably had secrets or a dark past, but so did Nam-gyu, and damn, he was the first person in a long time who treated him like he was special. As if he truly believed it, and he wanted to hold on to it as long as he could, because he knew that once Su-bong fucked him, he'd lose all interest.

That night, his shift ended later than usual because one of the promoters had an emergency, and they had to cover for him. The streets were damp from a recent drizzle, and the cold seeped through the collar of his old coat. Maybe he could use some of Su-bong's money to buy another one.

He walked leisurely, truly exhausted, wondering how long his body could withstand the workload. He was already twenty-seven; the years kept passing, and soon he'd be considered old. He'd no longer be attractive or useful. What would become of him? He smoked a cigarette until he finally reached his apartment.

He walked upstairs humming a popular song he actually hated, but he heard it so often at the club that it was impossible not to learn it. He needed a hot shower, maybe send Su-bong some steamy photos so he wouldn't lose interest, put on his pajamas, and turn off his phone until he felt rested. It had been a tiring day, but he was comforted by the feeling that he would soon be in the arms of Morpheus.

When he reached the door of his apartment, he began searching his backpack pockets for his keys. When he found them, he felt a sharp tug on his pants. Nam-gyu jumped and screamed, kicking whatever was trying to touch him.

"Nam-gyu... I need... your help," he said barely above a whisper.

Nam-gyu stopped dead in his tracks. In front of his door, on the floor, trying to lean against the wall, was Su-bong. His face was bloodied, his shirt torn, and his feverish gaze seemed to be torn between pain and urgency. Nam-gyu felt his heart hammering in his ribs. He looked at the empty hallway, then at the door, then back at him.

“Su-bong? What the fuck, man? What the hell are you doing here? What did they do to you?”

“That doesn't matter now. Open the door,” he demanded, muttering disjointed phrases about “them” and how little time they had left.

“Not until you tell me how the hell you know where I live,” he replied.

“Nam-gyu, take your keys and open the damn door already,” he ordered, his deep voice sounding more like a threat than a plea.

Nam-gyu stopped in his tracks, turning around with a mixture of disbelief and annoyance. They were no longer in the club; technically, he and Su-bong were equals; he had no power over him here.

“Whatever's going on is none of my business,” Nam-gyu replied, “So either you explain to me what's going on or go somewhere else.” Su-bong looked at him as if he'd just said the stupidest thing in the world.

"Oh, baby, you're so funny," Su-bong said, laughing softly. "It just became your problem because I'm with you, so either you open the door or we'll both end up dead."

Nam-gyu didn't say anything else. Su-bong would have no reason to lie, and everyone knew he was involved in something shady. His chaotic speech made sense, and he wouldn't end up with a hole in his face for being in the wrong place.

Nam-gyu hesitated; he had the key in his hand. He felt like a single decision could change everything.

He followed his own advice and didn't ask any more questions. He just turned the key. The click of the lock sounded too loud in the silence.

"Come in," he said, a lump in his throat.

Chapter Text

The rain was falling intermittently, leaving the air infused with that smell of wet earth that Nam-gyu had always liked. However, that dawn, nothing in his apartment seemed to hold the same meaning as always. Su-bong was sitting on Nam-gyu's sofa, his breathing was irregular, and he had a towel pressing against the wound on his side, but his eyes remained fixed, vigilant, as if even the slightest noise could turn into a threat. 

Nam-gyu continued to observe the blood pooling from Su-bong, as if his brain had yet to process the scene. The silence of the room was only interrupted by the sound of Su-bong's labored breathing. The dim light filtered through the curtains revealed the dried blood stains on his shirt, and Nam-gyu, still not fully comprehending what had happened, knelt beside him with an improvised first aid kit. 

"Don't look at me like that," Su-bong growled without lifting his gaze. "It's not that serious." 

"Let me see, I'll determine the severity.", Nam-gyu said, crouching down with the first aid kit. His hands were shaking, although he tried to hide it. "If I don't clean this, it's going to get infected." Su-bong let out a snort, half in mockery, half in resignation. "This... is going to hurt a little," he murmured, trying to conceal his nervousness while pressing on the wound. 

"I've been through worse," he replied, almost with a crooked smile that didn't ease the tension in the air. 

"So you tend to have experience with getting hit," Nam-gyu deduced. 

"Just like you," Su-bong guessed, pointing at Nam-gyu's first aid kit, "it's quite complete for an improvised kit." 

"Well, you know, you never know when someone will come in beaten up asking for help," Nam-gyu replied, hoping to steer the subject away. There were matters he still wasn't ready to talk about, especially not with Su-bong.

 "Are you always this insistent?" 

"No, only when I don't want someone to die on my watch," Nam-gyu tried to smile, but his voice sounded tenser than he expected.

While he was disinfecting the wound, he noticed that Su-bong was watching him too intently, as if he were trying to memorize every gesture, every detail of his face. 

"What happened?" Nam-gyu finally asked, with a lump in his throat. 

"It's not important."

"It's not important to you. It is to me. If someone did this to you and knows you're here..." 

"I'm serious, my Namsu, it's nothing." 

"What happened, Su-bong?" Nam-gyu asked again, without looking up. 

"It's not something you need to know," Su-bong replied, without hesitation.

 "Of course, because it's not like there's a stranger bleeding in my house," Nam-gyu dropped the cotton on the floor. 

"Am I now a stranger ?" Su-bong asked with an incredulous laugh, "Weren't you making a scene of jealousy a few hours ago?" 

"It wasn't a scene of jealousy," Nam-gyu replied. "I just... wanted to be sure about things between us." 

"And now I'm a stranger... whom you’re messing around with in the break room at your job and you go crazy if he doesn't show up at the club for a day." Su-bong said with a smug smile. 

"You know what? Never mind. What you have to do is leave. Now." Su-bong cocked his head, as if measuring his words. 

"They won't find me here. And if they did... Well, that wouldn't be your problem." 

"Of course it would be my problem!" Nam-gyu's voice rose in tone, and he immediately regretted it. "Look, you'd better leave." 

"Nam-gyu, if this is why I said about the blowjob was a joke, maybe it wasn't the best time, but... 

Nam-gyu really wanted to know what had happened, but the way Su-bong deliberately avoided the topic stopped him. That uncertainty stuck like a weight in the chest. 

"Look... Whatever it is... They're going to find you if you stay here. They are going to find us . We have to go," he said, letting panic seep into his voice.

 "You're being paranoid," Su-bong retorted, settling in better when Nam-gyu finished bandaging his wounds. "Continue as if this is a normal day." 

"A normal day?" Nam-gyu repeated, completely surprised and somewhat scared by the normality with which Su-bong took the whole matter. "This day is anything but a damn normal day." 

"Baby, listen to me," Su-bong whispered, taking Nam-gyu's face, bringing their foreheads together in a more intimate contact. "Go about your routine, as always. That's what will make them least suspect. I know it's hard, but I know why I'm telling you this." Nam-gyu frowned but nodded halfway. "I need you to believe in me." Nam-gyu hated himself for that; his mind screamed that having Su-bong in his home was a terrible idea, but his damn heart couldn't conceive the idea of turning his back on the only man who ever truly cared for him. 

Maybe he still didn't know what was happening, and they had too many conversations pending. Nam-gyu probably would have won the award for the stupidest man not just in Korea, but in the world, but if Su-bong were the leader of a cult, Nam-gyu would be his follower to fucking hell.

Su-bong made him weak, but he also made him feel safe, loved, as if he were really a human being. 

"I trust you, Su-bong," Nam-gyu whispered, hating himself for acknowledging the warmth in his chest, for how twisted it was to feel pleasure from such intimate contact with Su-bong, considering he had just beaten the hell out of him and he refused to tell Nam-gyu what was going on. 

But for a moment he allowed himself to stop thinking and live in the moment. 

To enjoy being simply Nam-gyu and Su-bong. 

Words weren't necessary, at least not in that instant. Su-bong caressed Nam-gyu's hair as they shared the same breath. Everything felt so ordinary, so domestic, so soft.

Until Nam-gyu opened his eyes when he felt Su-bong's hands on his, it didn't seem like a romantic gesture, but one with a more rigid touch. 

"You're trembling," Su-bong whispered, as if trying to calm Nam-gyu, "are you okay?" 

No, Nam-gyu was not fine. The adrenaline seemed to be leaving his body, making him more aware of what was happening around him, and damn, how had he not noticed it before? His body had reacted so quickly, probably due to muscle memory or some shit like that. 

But the scene was so similar. 

The hits, the blood, someone he loved getting beaten unfairly and Nam-gyu being completely useless, unable to protect them, just cleaning and treating wounds he hadn’t caused, but also hadn’t prevented. 

"Does it hurt a lot?" Nam-gyu asked and hated hearing himself sound so pathetic. Su-bong gave him a small smile and tucked one of his strands of hair behind his ear. 

"No, baby, it looks worse than it is," Su-bong replied simply, and Nam-gyu didn't believe him, he knew he was lying to avoid worrying him, just like Hyun-ju did every time his father left her on the brink of death with the excuse of turning her into a man and putting aside that stupid idea of being a woman. Hyun-ju never had support from her family or friends, she had to give up her life in the hope of gaining freedom. 

Nam-gyu recognized that look, and something in him was activated, an instinct so strong, he didn't know what Su-bong had done, but in that moment he confirmed he would do whatever it took to make sure he was okay. 

"Can I give you a hug?" Nam-gyu hated how broken his voice sounded. Su-bong did not respond. He just smiled and opened his arms, allowing Nam-gyu to settle gently on his shoulder. "Damn it, Su-bong, you're an idiot."

"But you care about this idiot," Su-bong tried to joke, and placed a small kiss on Nam-gyu's forehead. 

"I think we need to rest a bit to think clearly about the next step," Nam-gyu said, helping Su-bong get up and taking him to his room, which luckily was tidy. Su-bong sat on the bed while Nam-gyu looked for sleepwear so they could rest comfortably. And of course, he helped Su-bong get dressed despite his complaints.

“I’m not a little kid, Nam-gyu, I can do it perfectly well on my own,” Su-bong grumbled once he was half sitting on the bed, “I’m 37 years old, damn it.”

“37? Damn dude, that’s a fucking joke, right?” 

“Why would it be a joke?” Su-bong raised an eyebrow. 

“I don’t know, I thought you were younger,” Nam-gyu replied, “You know, you act like a kid.” 

“Impertinent,” Su-bong snorted sarcastically and patted his side of the bed. “Come on, let’s get some rest.” 

“I was thinking of sleeping in the living room,” Nam-gyu answered. 

“Don’t be a prude, Namsu,” Su-bong insisted, “we’re just going to sleep, I’m not in the condition to give you the best performance of your life.” 

“Dumbass, I could hurt you,” Nam-gyu complained. 

“You could never hurt me, baby, come on, come here,” Su-bong insisted. Nam-gyu didn’t need Su-bong to ask him again. Only first he had to go for something that would help them both relax. 

He ran to the bathroom to pull out the pill bottle that usually helps him sleep peacefully. He swallowed two and brought one for Su-bong, he raised an eyebrow curiously. 

"Anxiolytics? I didn't expect it," he said, looking at the pill. 

"Just swallow it, it will help you relax your body and sleep peacefully," Nam-gyu replied, thanking Su-bong for not asking any more questions about it. Afraid of hurting him, and with a strange need to feel protected, he threw himself between Su-bong's legs, and closed his eyes with pleasure as he felt how he massaged his hair. 

"Was she your girlfriend?" Su-bong asked suddenly, and Nam-gyu opened his eyes, his body was tense, and he tried to play dumb, as if he didn't understand what he meant. "The girl in the photo on your nightstand, were you dating?" 

"I love sucking your dick man," Nam-gyu replied as he used to evade topics he wasn't ready to talk about yet. He loved Hyun-ju, but it still hurt to talk about her. "Are you jealous?" 

"It's just curiosity... you look happy, and it must be important for her to be by your bedside." 

"She's my sister," Nam-gyu replied after a pause. 

She was. 

Not anymore. 

Damn.  

He was still messing up even in a simple sentence. 

"She's pretty," said Su-bong, gently stroking Nam-gyu's back, "but you, you are out of this world Namsu, I mean, that ass?" Su-bong joked, receiving a light punch from Nam-gyu. 

"I think I shouldn't have given you anxiolytics, you become more stupid," which was his way of thanking for stopping the talk about Hyun-ju. 

"We're going to be fine, my Namsu," Su-bong whispered sleepily, and it felt like a "I love you." 

They weren't perfect, and they probably crossed into the pathological, but Su-bong was everything Nam-gyu needed. Su-bong told him that everything would be fine and Nam-gyu decided to believe him. 

[...] 

Nam-gyu was not aware of the exact moment he fell asleep. It was what he liked about anxiolytics, in a few minutes it would dumb him down and help him quiet his mind, he could have peace at least for a moment. And even though he was going through a shitty moment, he felt so comfortable, lying with Su-bong, clinging to his legs while they slept. 

Nam-gyu usually came home late, slept late and woke up even later, he did not know the exact time, he liked to play guessing the time according to the reflection of the sun, but he was distracted when he perceived the heat of Su-bong's body. 

It was warm, but it was hotter, and Nam-gyu could swear that even Su-bong had an erection and in the middle of a fucking wet dream he was trying to pull Nam-gyu closer to him. 

He was so stupid that even because he was injured he couldn't stand his hornyness. 

"Stop... you're hurt, idiot" Nam-gyu complained, though he had to admit that he found some interest in the scene. 

"You literally have your head on my dick, it's impossible for me not to think about it," Su-bong replied, and well, he had a point, it was still dangerous.

 "You're going to hurt yourself more," Nam-gyu insisted. 

"You can climb on top of me, fuck, how I'd love to see you ride me. Come on, baby," Su-bong tried to hit his erection. 

"You're so horny you can't think straight," Nam-gyu sighed and stared at him, straightened up on the bed and crawled to Su-bong's lap, placing himself exactly on top of him, he could feel how hot he was, while his half erection brushed against Su-bong's. "Fuck, you're even dripping." 

"You and your dirty little slut pants," Su-bong complained, clinging to Nam-gyu's hips. "Look how you have me, you can't leave me like this."

"Made me," Nam-gyu muttered with a smug smile as he moved brushing against their erections. 

"Fuck, you're so hot," Su-bong complained raising his hips to follow Nam-gyu's movements, he grabbed him tightly by the hips making him let out a moan. "So good and only mine." 

"Only yours” Nam-gyu repeated in a groan as he accelerated the movements of his hips, downplaying whether or not he hurt Su-bong, he simply couldn't stop. "Are you going to cum in your pants like a precocious teenager?" he sneered, although he would soon, too. 

"I love that you're such a bitch," Su-bong growled, pulling Nam-gyu's hair to kiss him, inserting his tongue as if he could suck the life out of him and take hold of him. He bit his lips until he bled, then licked his blood. 

" Your bitch," Nam-gyu whispered, kissing him again, and it was enough to undo Su-bong, Nam-gyu felt him growl and curse as his movements became more irregular, and his grip on his hips would leave marks. Nam-gyu groaned as he felt the heat expand in Su-bong's pants, passing the moisture through him. 

"You're mine, you, only I can make you feel that way." 

"Only you, my baby, my Namsu," Su-bong praised, taking advantage of the opportunity to settle better, and pulled down Nam-gyu's pants. "Let me help you."  He asked him, offering him the palm of his hand, reaching his lips. Nam-gyu spat on Su-bong's hand, and he groaned to lead her toward Nam-gyu's choice. "You're ridiculously wet," Su-bong looked amazed. "Come on, baby, use me, I'm all yours," he urged. 

"Fuck, you asshole, I hate you," Nam-gyu complained moaning while moving his hips, fucking Su-bong's hand as he pleased, as he wanted. 

"No, you don't," he replied with a mocking smile and stealing a kiss. "You can cum baby, cum on me, you earned it." 

"Fuck," Nam-gyu groaned loudly feeling the rush of his orgasm, he kept moving even after seeing Su-bong's hand full of him, staining his shirt and pants. He didn't care. At least not at that time. "You got away with it, asshole" he complained, going down to lie on the other side of the bed.

"Hey, stay with me, idiot, don't leave me cold and wet," Su-bong complained. “You made me cum in your clothes, at least give me a kiss and make me breakfast." 

"Since when have you been such a baby?" joked Nam-gyu, tilting his head, while Su-bong pulled his hair to kiss him. "Rude." 

"It's called aftercare, something you apparently don't know about," Su-bong replied, "I'm hurt and sore, you have to take care of me." 

"That didn't seem to worry you a little while ago," hummed Nam-gyu, kissing him just for the pleasure of it. "Coffee and a shower," offered Nam-gyu.

"With hot water," replied Su-bong, bringing his face closer to Nam-gyu's.

"Deal," he whispered before they kissed again. Nam-gyu wanted to take another pill before showering, and perhaps his face was too obvious or Su-bong was really good at reading him, but he assured him that he didn't need to take them. 

And maybe he shouldn't have listened to him.

Chapter Text

The sound of the kettle became present in the apartment; Nam-gyu was surprised that the water boiled faster than on other days, or perhaps having someone else there to distract him helped, or maybe it was just the effect of Su-bong in his life. 

No matter how much he wanted to deny it, since that night he had appeared on the bridge, he had become someone important to him, making him realize how lonely he was and that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't that hard to love. 

His sister loved him, Nam-gyu was sure of that, but it was a different kind of love. 

Not like in fairy tales or movies. 

Su-bong was not a prince charming; he had many secrets and was fucking broken, but so was Nam-gyu, perhaps that was what he liked most about Su-bong, he didn't pretend to be someone else in front of him, and he also didn’t want him to change. 

It would be perfect if they could have moments like this, without needing to meet exclusively at some damn club, without the uncertainty of when they would hear from each other again. 

Nam-gyu hated routine in relationships, but damn, taking a shower with Su-bong felt so good that he wouldn't mind doing it every day of his damn life. 

Maybe Nam-gyu's father was right and he was crazy, because he didn't understand why he felt this way about Su-bong; sometimes he hated him and wished he could kill him, only to beg moments later for him to come back and throw himself into his arms, hoping he wouldn't leave again. 

He wished he could talk to Hyun-ju and know what she thought, or that she could meet Su-bong and agree with him that Thanos was a stupid nickname, that she could come eat with them and give her opinion on their relationship, or whatever it was the thing that Su-bong and they had, but none of that was possible. 

"What are you thinking about?" Su-bong asked him as he moved too comfortably in his kitchen; he looked really attractive with Nam-gyu's clothes, disheveled with damp hair, making coffee for the two of them as if it were a healthy lunch. 

"That you're an asshole," Nam-gyu replied only to make him angry, Su-bong replied by raising his middle finger. "You're proving me right." 

"You're lucky to be pretty," he warned jokingly, approaching the room with two cups that he left on the table, to approach Nam-gyu and give him a small kiss, "or I would have already choked you an hour ago." 

"You're still in time," Nam-gyu encouraged him with a sarcastic smile and prepared to take his cup, he gasped in surprise as soon as he felt Su-bong wrap his neck tightly, he exerted pressure, although not enough to drown it, he simply held it in place and released it after a few seconds, and as if nothing had happened, he gave one of the cups to Nam-gyu. 

"I wish you could see your face right now," Su-bong whispered with something akin to excitement, "we were definitely meant to meet." 

"I didn't take you for a romantic," Nam-gyu replied, shyly gathering his hair and taking a sip of his coffee, returning it to the cup almost immediately while squinting his eyes, "what the fuck?" He punched Su-bong on the shoulder and pointed at his cup. 

"What's wrong, Namsu? Is it too bitter? You didn't have much sugar, so I tried to sweeten it enough," Su-bong said. It made sense, Nam-gyu hadn't explained how he likes his coffee because they hadn't had that conversation before. 

"You should have taken all the sugar," Nam-gyu replied, "I usually drink my coffee black." 

"No sugar?" Su-bong asked worriedly, as if it were some serious issue, like his bruises or the mess he had gotten into to end up with such a huge beating, "Not even a little?" 

"Just coffee." 

"Makes sense, that's why you're so bitter," Su-bong took a big gulp of his coffee and then took his hand, "Are your days usually like this?" Nam-gyu raised an eyebrow, "I mean, you wake up, shower, have coffee, then what? What do you do until you go to work?" 

"It depends on the day" 

"What will you do today?" Nam-gyu smiled. 

"If you want me to stay all day taking care of you, you just have to ask, you know?" he said, stroking Su-bong's hair, he saw him smile, although a little tense, and his gaze shifted to his phone, Nam-gyu followed his gaze until he saw some messages, and quickly took Su-bong's phone, "You're an idiot!" he exclaimed angrily, "they're looking for you and your damn phone is on, they must already have our location." 

"If they had our location, we would already be dead," he explained boredly, taking the phone away from Nam-gyu. 

"Who are you communicating with then? I don’t know what’s going on, but it must be very reliable, because it could betray you and…" Su-bong placed both cups on the table and knelt in front of Nam-gyu to take his hands, they were trembling again. "I need my pills," he said in barely a whisper, and Su-bong hurried to the bathroom for the medicine jar. 

Nam-gyu quickly swallowed two while moving his fingers. Su-bong returned to his initial position and held Nam-gyu's hands; they were at the same height, and then his hands caressed Nam-gyu's arms, reaching up to his face, forcing him to bring their foreheads together. Su-bong's breathing was regular and calm, unlike Nam-gyu's. 

"Look at me, please," Su-bong whispered, and Nam-gyu obeyed. "Dae-ho is my trusted man; we've been friends for many years, and he will help us get out of this trouble. He was just reporting to me and asking for something to eat."

 "Food?" 

"Just some Tteokbokki; I'm starving, and I'm sure you are too, even if you don't want to admit it." 

"Are you risking our lives for some fucking Tteokbokki?" Nam-gyu asked irritably, still facing Su-bong. Then the pieces of the puzzle seemed to fit, "that’s why you wanted to know what I would do during the day, you didn't plan on telling me any of this, right?" Su-bong's silence was enough of an answer for him. 

Nam-gyu walked away and stood up. He peeked out the kitchen window, from his room, the bathroom, and finally the main one. Everything seemed calm and like any other day, except… a black car that had been parked since the night before, or even earlier. Maybe Su-bong was somewhat right and Nam-gyu was acting like a paranoid, but his intuition never failed. 

"What are you doing?" Su-bong asked, and that was the last straw. Nam-gyu pushed him. "Nam-gyu, what the fuck is wrong with you?" 

"What the fuck is wrong with me ? You’re insane, that’s what’s wrong, and you keep lying," he answered angrily. "The black car belongs to that friend of yours, right? And don’t you dare lie to me again or I swear I don’t care if they come to kill us." 

"Dae-ho is walking around to check that no one comes to look for us," Su-bong replied seriously, "and that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you what was happening, so you wouldn't get like this."

"So now it's my fault," Nam-gyu laughed ironically, "you know what? Since Dae-ho is here, maybe you should go with him." 

"You can't be serious," Su-bong replied immediately, and Nam-gyu shrugged, "Nam-gyu, tell me it's not true, why are you still silent?" Su-bong tried to get closer to him, but Nam-gyu took a step back. "Please, Namsu, babe..." 

"You wanted to know what I do during the day before work, right?" Nam-gyu said as he went towards his room, "it turns out that today is my night off, but stupidly I would still go to work just to be with you," Nam-gyu's voice broke a bit, "so maybe I should get ready to make it on time." 

"No, Nam-gyu, please listen to me," Su-bong stepped in his way and was again too close to him, "If you want me to leave, I will, but don't go to the club today, it might be more dangerous, I won't be able to protect you there"

 "Is all of this really for me or do you just want to keep yourself safe?" Nam-gyu asked, moving a little closer. 

"It's for us , even if you don't believe me," Su-bong replied. 

"Yeah, right" 

"You know? I'm starting to get tired of this attitude," Su-bong murmured while tucking Nam-gyu's hair behind his ear. "You're on the defensive and acting like a poor victim as if you have no secrets" 

"My secrets don't endanger your existence; yours do risk my life," Nam-gyu replied in the same tone. 

"You take anxiety medications like they're mints, you don't eat or sleep properly, you're used to violence, you get a lot of notifications, but you never check your phone when I'm around, you're hiding something from me too," Su-bong said without stopping to look at him. 

"And what's the problem with that? We literally get high together at the club every night, wait, are you jealous?" Nam-gyu teased. "Is this your way of telling me that you're afraid I have someone else?" 

"You don't have anyone else but me," Su-bong challenged Nam-gyu with a look, who started to laugh, "you said you were only mine." 

"And you said we weren't exclusive," it was worth seeing Su-bong's completely shattered face for a few minutes. 

"That's not true. You're not serious," Su-bong seemed desperate for an answer, "Tell me it's not true," he exclaimed a bit louder, shaking Nam-gyu. "I see, you want to play like that? Then we'll play like that," Su-bong gave him a sly smile and took his hand, caressing each of his fingers, and touched his rings. He began to brush his lips against them. "Your rings are for women," Su-bong said, "I didn't mind at first, I even thought it was sexy because you have nice hands, until I realized they are not just girl rings, they are your sister's, I guess, right?" 

"You don't know what you're talking about," Nam-gyu muttered. 

"It's curious that you have so many of her things, but you never talk about her, or visit her, or call her," Su-bong continued. "You don't even say her name." 

"Don't you dare talk about her," Nam-gyu warned with teary eyes, clenching his fists tightly, trying to stay calm. 

"Did she reject you like the rest of your family because you like boys?" Su-bong asked in a childish voice. Nam-gyu shed a tear that he quickly wiped away and moved toward his nightstand, took out one of the photographs he had with Hyun-ju and pressed it against Su-bong's chest. 

"I guess your doubts are because you were rummaging through my things," Nam-gyu replied, shrugging, "and you must have seen that I had a brother instead of a sister; I'm saying this because of the photo from when we were kids, it's hard to explain, but Hyun-ju is... was my sister," Nam-gyu continued, shedding a couple of tears, "and you were mistaken, because she was the only one who ever judged me, or rejected me, I would have even liked for you to have met her, but it's not possible because she committed suicide last year, and this is the first time I'm saying it out loud, so…”

Nam-gyu hadn’t realized he was shaking and had begun to cry until he felt Su-bong wrapping his body and stroking his back, as if trying to console him. In reality, he hadn't expected to confess to Su-bong about his sister, not because he was ashamed, but because it still hurt, and he wasn't able to talk about it with anyone, and Nam-gyu anticipated any scenario, except in the middle of a fight. 

"Nam-gyu, sweetheart, I didn’t know..." 

"Exactly, you didn’t know," he replied simply, exhausted from the whole situation. 

"Baby, I'm really sorry... What can I do to make you feel better?" 

"I need another pill." 

"Nam-gyu, you've already taken too many pills today," Su-bong said in barely a whisper, tenderly stroking his hair, "don’t you want something to eat?" 

"My pills," Nam-gyu repeated. 

"Do you need space? I... I can tell Dae-ho to come for me, I understand that you want to send me to hell after this…,” Nam-gyu looked up and Su-bong felt a tightness in his chest seeing him so vulnerable. 

“No, don’t go, please don’t leave me now,” Nam-gyu murmured, clinging to his body, “stay with me, just… don’t do it again.” 

“I won’t do it again, I want to stay with you forever,” Su-bong said in the same tone of voice. 

“Promise it,” Nam-gyu asked him. 

“I promise, baby,” Su-bong kissed his forehead. “I want to be good for you, I’ll tell Dae-ho to hurry up, he can’t take so long for some fucking Tteokbokki, and we can eat, lie in bed and watch a movie like any couple’s plan.” 

Nam-gyu felt something tighten in his chest. Was Su-bong really calling them a couple? Did he mean it or was it out of pity? Before he could respond, loud and violent knocks echoed on the door. The sound was so strong that the frame shook. 

“Shit, what the fuck is wrong with Dae-ho for knocking like that?” Su-bong complained, but before he could move, Nam-gyu grabbed him by the arm and motioned for him to be quiet. He knew perfectly well who was knocking like that. 

“It’s not Dae-ho,” Nam-gyu whispered. 

“How do you know? Who is it?” asked Su-bong. 

“Be quiet or they’ll realize we’re here,” Nam-gyu replied. 

“Is this something that happens regularly?” 

“Su-bong, we can talk about that later.” 

“Open the damn door, you slut, I know you’re there Nam-gyu, at that shit club where you work they told me it’s your fucking day off,” someone shouted at the door while continuing to knock. 

Shit, if he didn’t do something the neighbors were going to complain or call the police, and that wouldn’t be good for them. 

“Stay here and don’t go out,” Nam-gyu instructed. 

“Who is it?” 

“Just... do it.” 

“Nam-gyu, that guy doesn’t seem friendly, what are you going to do?” 

“Trust me,” he murmured before giving a short kiss. 

Nam-gyu shut the door to his room and approached the living room to open the door. The man on the other end was tall, with a crooked expression and a rancid smell of alcohol and sweat. His bloodshot eyes locked on him with a mixture of anger and desire. 

"You finally show up," the man growled, "what a show I've had to put on to get your attention." 

"You almost got the police called," Nam-gyu replied, "and I don't think either of us can do that." 

"You're a cynical whore," the man muttered, "don't act like you're very dignified Nam-gyu, you owe me a lot of money and don't answer any of the messages."  

“And I already told you that I will pay you, but not today," Nam-gyu said, "please, I need you to leave" 

"Why so much hurry? Did you bring a dupe home?", he asked pointing to his room, "Excuse me, I didn't mean to interrupt your fuck of the night, maybe he does have money to pay me and I'll leave you alone, he should come out and show his face if he cares even a little" 

"There's no one here, I just want you to leave, so  get out," Nam-gyu replied.

"No, I won't leave," the man contradicted, "you're going to pay me now... with money... or with whatever you have at hand" 

No, another fucking time, no. 

"I already told you I don't want to..." 

"It's not about what you want or not, debts are paid, and it wouldn't be the first time, you have a nice and useful mouth, although this time I don't think it's enough," the man warned giving him a look that made him nauseous.

The guy pushed him inside, slamming the door shut that rang out like a gunshot. 

The pressure of his hands on his shoulders was brutal, familiar, too much. Nam-gyu tried to break free, but the man grabbed him by the neck, squeezing. The man's fingernails dug into his skin. The air suddenly became scarce. Nam-gyu felt like he was twenty years old again, trapped in the same hands, with the same voice whispering threats to him. 

"Let go of me, please, I'll get the money, I swear," Nam-gyu pleaded, although it was in vain, the man pinned him down despite Nam-gyu's resistance,  throwing him on the couch as if he were a dirty rag, and the guy climbed on top of him, brushing his disgusting boner against Nam-gyu's ass, cried silently, unable to defend himself, and ashamed that Su-bong would show disgust after what was about to happen. 

He closed his eyes accepting his fate. 

And then, in a single instant, everything changed. 

"Take your dirty fucking hands off my boy, you motherfucker," Su-bong growled out of the room with an expression that frightened Nam-gyu. 

" Your boy? Man, I'm sorry to inform you that you messed with a whore willing to do anything for drugs and easy money," the man mocked. 

"You want money, don't you? I have, and a lot, I give you double what Nam-gyu owes you, but I need you to let go," Su-bong proposed. 

"Don't try to scam me," the man warned. 

"I already told you that I am lined, I will go for my wallet" 

"First the money, then I release it," was the man's final response. 

That's when Nam-gyu saw it:  that cold twinkle in Su-bong's eyes. 

A second later, the movement was so fast that Nam-gyu barely registered it. A struggle, a gasp, the man let go of Nam-gyu and staggered, his eyes wide open before collapsing on the carpet. 

Nam-gyu froze. His face had a few blood stains on it, and the metallic smell of the blood mingled with that of his own fear. 

The silence that followed was more deafening than the knocking on the door. Nam-gyu shrank, looking at the body. 

Blood spread slowly on the carpet. 

"You killed him," Nam-gyu whispered, still unable to take in what had just happened. Su-bong took a step toward him, and his voice softened, as if he wanted to envelop him. 

"I did what was necessary to keep you safe," Su-bong explained in a soft, almost intimate tone. He tried to wipe Nam-gyu's face, but with his hands he managed to make it dirtier, the knife was still in his hand. "He won't hurt you anymore. You won't have to see him again, nor will he ever bother you or try to hurt you again." 

"I'm sorry," Nam-gyu muttered embarrassedly. 

"No, honey, you have nothing to apologize for," Su-bong seemed to be so calm, as if it was an ordinary scenario, "He... Was the customer who tried to attack you?" he asked, and Nam-gyu nodded. "Then I should have made him suffer more." 

"There's a lot of blood," Nam-gyu muttered looking at the ground, "fuck, how are we going to hide his body?” 

"Nam-gyu," Su-bong called him, putting their foreheads together, "we'll fix it. Dae-ho and the team will fix it. Do not worry. Getting rid of him was a good thing, now you'll be at peace, this... what I did," he said, pointing to the limp body, "was for us ." 

Nam-gyu didn't know whether to feel horror or relief. 

His mind clung to that last phrase: for us . 

Maybe... perhaps it had really been an act of love. 

"We can't stay here," Su-bong continued, taking Nam-gyu's hand. "We need to change our clothes and pack some things. It's no longer safe here," Nam-gyu obeyed without thinking, and as they left the apartment, something inside him understood that there would be no turning back.

Chapter Text

The memory hit Nam-gyu like a stone thrown without warning. He was back in that cold house, where screams were as commonplace as the silence after the beatings.

“Useless! I didn't raise a couple of faggots, so you better straighten up or things will get worse for you!” His father's hoarse voice echoed off the walls.

“Don't cry, Gyunnie,” she whispered, calling him by that secret nickname that only she used. “If you cry, you prove him right.” Namgyu forced himself to press his lips together to endure it. He felt the stinging heat on his cheek, the blood running down the corner of his mouth.

“It hurts,” he complained softly. 

“I know,” replied Hyun-ju, looking around carefully, trying to guess her father's footsteps. “He's going to the kitchen. We have to leave before he comes back.” 

Nam-gyu was only ten years old. The metallic smell of blood permeated the old house, and his father's screams echoed like thunder as Hyun-ju guided Namgyu to his room, remembering to lock the door so no one else could enter.

It was an almost daily scene hidden behind the walls of their home: their father was drunk and arguing with their mother about how difficult it was to raise two children alone. At first, it was just shouting and a few slaps, until Hyun-ju confessed that she felt like she was a girl. Then the beatings became more aggressive for both of them.Their father used to tell them that this was the only way to straighten them out, because he was afraid that Namgyu would be influenced by his sister's ideas. 

He never understood why his parents reacted that way. It was a little difficult until Hyun-ju explained it to him, and his feelings never changed. He loved Hyun-ju. She was kind, protective, and very intelligent. How could he not love her? She used to give him part of her dinner so that Namgyu could eat well, she helped him with his homework and didn't call him stupid when he didn't understand an exercise, she covered Namgyu's body when their father beat them, taking the brunt of the beatings. 

Hyun-ju, with clumsy movements, got up from her bed and looked for a small bottle of cheap alcohol that she kept in the cabinet. 

“Look,” said Hyun-ju, moistening a piece of cloth and bringing it close to the wound. "This is how you clean it. It burns, but then it doesn't hurt so much. See?“ Namgyu nodded, trying to imitate her calmness. She smiled, even though the black eye distorted her face. ”There, now it's your turn." 

“You want me to heal you?” Namgyu asked, frightened. “What if I do it wrong?”

“You'll do just fine because I'm going to teach you,” Hyun-ju said, taking one of his hands, as she always did when she wanted to talk about something serious. “You must learn to heal, because no one else will do it for us.”

“But you're here.”

"I am now, but maybe one day I won't be, and it's important that you do it. Come on. Press here..." Hyun-ju said, placing her small hand on the wound on his arm, and Namgyu noticed that his sister was enduring the pain. 

“It hurts a lot, doesn't it?” Nam-gyu asked, his voice breaking. Hyun-ju forced a smile.

“It looks worse than it is, sweetie,” she replied to reassure him. “Besides, if you learn how to do it right, it won't hurt as much next time.”

“Okay, I'll be just as good as you,” Namgyu said to make her proud, “I must follow my big sister's example.”

“I love you so much, you know that? I want you to promise me that you'll always hold on, no matter what happens. Never let the pain paralyze you, and don't let them break you, Nam-gyu,” Hyun-ju whispered in a faint voice. 

“I promise. We just have to hold on a little longer, right?”

“Yes, just a little longer, Nam-gyu.”

Nam-gyu.

Namgyu.

Namgyu.

The screech of a car brake snapped him out of that memory.

“Nam-gyu!” Su-bong's deep voice shook him. Nam-gyu opened his eyes with a start. 

They were in the black car, the one belonging to Su-bong's friend, speeding along while the two men seemed to be arguing about where to go and Dae-ho seemed to be scolding Su-bong for not being able to stay longer at Namgyu's apartment. Perhaps it was the screams and the smell of blood that brought him back to those memories, but he had to refocus. It was what his sister would have wanted him to do. Su-bong watched him with a frown.

“Hey, honey, where were you? We lost you for a few minutes,” Su-bong said, wrapping his arm around him. “Are you hurt?” Nam-gyu looked down.

“No. No. Just... memories.”

“Um... excuse me, lovebirds, but we have more important matters to discuss right now, like what's coming up,” Dae-ho interrupted as he drove the car, his gaze fixed directly on Namgyu through the rearview mirror. Nam-gyu ran his hand through his hair, uneasy.

Su-bong cleared his throat, trying to smooth things over. “Right, damn it, I forgot to introduce you. Dae-ho, this is Nam-gyu. Nam-gyu, this is... well, one of my old friends.” Dae-ho nodded, but his gaze remained fixed on Nam-gyu's face. There was something unsettling about the way he was looking at him, as if he were sizing him up.

“So... you're the famous Nam-gyu,” Dae-ho drawled, each word tinged with irony. “The one who always shows up in Thanos' plans, even if it's at the last minute.” Nam-gyu frowned.

“He knows who I am, you don't have to call me that,” Su-bong interjected.

“Aww, but Thanos is an excellent nickname,” Namgyu teased in a low voice, “And I didn't know I was famous.”

“Oh, believe me, you are,” Dae-ho replied with a half-smile that didn't reach his eyes. “Not just anyone can get Su-bong to change course in the middle of the game.” Su-bong narrowed his eyes, uncomfortable.

“Dae-ho, stop it.” But Dae-ho raised an eyebrow, as if he hadn't heard.

“What I don't quite understand,” Dae-ho continued, as if it were time to resolve all his doubts and make Namgyu uncomfortable in the process, never once stopping to look at him with a strange smile. “What exactly are you doing here?”

Nam-gyu blinked, unsure if he had heard correctly.

“Here...?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow. “I don't know, breathe? Exist? Or do you want me to give you my complete resume?” Su-bong let out a short laugh, trying to ease the tension.

“You know, I mean, what do you have that others don't?” The silence that followed was heavy. Nam-gyu felt a chill run down his spine; he didn't know if the question was an accusation or simple morbid curiosity, but his instinct allowed him to camouflage his discomfort and respond in kind. 

“I don't know,” he forced himself to keep his voice steady. “Maybe you should ask Su-bong.” Dae-ho laughed dryly, without taking his eyes off him.

“Yeah, maybe I will,” and after a calculated pause, he added in a barely audible whisper. “Although I suspect I know the answer.” Nam-gyu swallowed hard. There was something in the way Dae-ho looked at him, as if he knew more than he should, as if he had discovered a piece of the puzzle that didn't yet fit for the others.

Su-bong tightened his grip and held Namgyu's body close to his, as if trying to protect him. 

“Dae-ho. I said enough ,” his voice sounded cold, dangerous. The atmosphere became tense, and although Dae-ho raised his hands in a gesture of apparent surrender, his crooked smile did not disappear.

“Nam-gyu is with me, man. You don't need to interrogate him like he's a suspect.” But Dae-ho didn't seem convinced.

“It's just... it's not common to see you with someone, Su-bong. You've always worked alone.”

“Well, things change,” Su-bong replied, his tone firm, almost defiant. “He's my partner, and he's here because I chose him.”

Silence fell over the table like a lead weight. Nam-gyu stared at Su-bong, surprised by the naturalness of the confession. Dae-ho, on the other hand, took a few seconds to compose his expression; his lips curved into a tense, overly calculated smile.

“Your... partner?” he repeated, with a hint of disbelief. Then he let out a dry laugh, which was not humorous at all. “When did you decide to hide something like this from me? I mean, isn't this the guy from the club you frequent?”

Su-bong held his gaze. “I didn't hide anything from you. It just wasn't your business until now. And be careful how you refer to my boyfriend.” Nam-gyu, feeling the weight of the tension, leaned slightly toward Su-bong.

“I think your best friend is upset that I'm stealing all your attention,” Nam-gyu whispered with a touch of irony. Su-bong suppressed a smile, but Dae-ho noticed and clicked his tongue.

“Excuse me, do you think that's funny?” he snapped at Nam-gyu. “Do you even know what you're getting yourself into?” Nam-gyu lifted his chin, a defiant gleam in his eyes. 

“I don't need you to explain it to me. But thanks for your concern... even if it sounds more like jealousy than anything else.” The silence grew even heavier. One more word and they wouldn't need to run away from anyone else because all three of them would die in a car accident. Namgyu felt the tension in Su-bong's body. 

“Dae-ho, stop it. You won't talk to him like that again. Nam-gyu is with me, and that should be enough for you,” he said in a serious but calm tone. 

“I see...” he muttered, forcing a brief laugh. “How unexpected. But well, I'm happy for you, Su-bong.”

His words sounded correct, but there was something in his gaze that left Nam-gyu with a cold feeling in his stomach, as if Dae-ho had revealed just a fraction of what he was really thinking.

For the rest of the trip, Su-bong and Dae-ho gave each other directions on the route they should take after deciding on a new location. Apparently, Su-bong had an old cabin on the outskirts of the city, rarely visited and very difficult to track down, where they could stay for a few more days while Dae-ho figured out how things were going and Su-bong found a solution. 

Dae-ho parked the car a few miles away so as not to arouse suspicion, and they walked the rest of the way, while Su-bong told Namgyu various stories about his and Dae-ho's youth there. Namgyu appreciated that he was trying to distract him and show him that it was a good place for both of them, even if it was to hide from an enemy Namgyu didn't even know. 

“If I had told you at the club that I live in a place like this, would you still have wanted to come?” Su-bong asked him before opening the door for him. 

“It depends, do you have a bed or a sofa? Even a blanket is enough for me,” Namgyu replied.

“Damn horny bastard,” Su-bong complained jokingly before kissing him. Dae-ho cleared his throat, causing the two to separate. Su-bong let him in and left his things on a table that appeared to be in the dining room. “Man, what the hell is wrong with you? You've been acting really weird the whole way here.” 

“What the hell is wrong with me ?” Dae-ho repeated, “Am I the only one with a brain here?” He pointed at Su-bong as if trying to prove his point. “They beat the crap out of you a couple of days ago and they're looking for you, so you decided to take refuge at your... friend's house.”

“Partner,” Su-bong corrected, “Namgyu is my partner, not my friend.”

“Whatever, it was a safe place until everything was sorted out, I look away for a minute and you've already murdered some random guy in Namgyu's apartment,” he accused, “you're literally still covered in blood and you plan to act like it's a romantic date with your fucking boyfriend.” 

“It makes sense, I'm sorry Dae-ho, I...”

“No,” Su-bong interrupted him, “that guy was going to... he was going to hurt Namgyu, what did you want me to do? Sit and watch? I thought you would understand.” Dae-ho took a deep breath, cracked his neck, and then patted Su-bong on the shoulder.

“It's done anyway,” Dae-ho replied, “I guess you had your reasons for doing it, and now we just have to move on.” 

“Good, we're making progress,” Su-bong encouraged him. "It's been a long day and we're all tired, but before we go to rest, I wanted to make it clear that from now on we have to trust each other. We're all on the same side." 

“Okay, I understand,” Dae-ho began. “I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Namgyu,” his name was pronounced with a strange emphasis, as if he were hiding something else.

“It's all forgotten, but don't question me like that again, or you might not like my answers,” Namgyu warned. Dae-ho looked at him, surprised by the confidence with which he said it.

“You've got some backbone, huh?” Nam-gyu leaned back with a half-smile.

“Depends on who's asking.” Su-bong, amused and proud, put his arm around Nam-gyu's shoulders and pulled him a little closer.

“See? Not only does he have character, he also knows how to defend himself. Don't underestimate him.”

Dae-ho's gaze hardened for a moment, but he didn't press the issue. He simply nodded, though the tension remained in the air, so thick that Nam-gyu felt that something about this boy was too strange to be mere discomfort.

The cabin was small but cozy, with enough space for two people; three people seemed like a crowd, but they would try to make it work. At least there were two rooms, which made things much easier. When they headed to their temporary room, Nam-gyu let out the breath he had been holding. 

“Well... that was awkward.” Su-bong ran a hand through his hair, sighing. 

“I've never seen him react like that before.”

“And he's supposed to be your best friend,” Nam-gyu replied sarcastically, glancing sideways at him. “Are you sure there's nothing else I should know about him?”

Su-bong shook his head slowly, although the shadow in his eyes revealed that he didn't fully understand what had just happened either.

“It's been a long day, baby. Why don't we take a shower and try to get some sleep?” Su-bong suggested, caressing Namgyu's waist. 

“Don't I disgust you?” Namgyu asked, unable to look directly at Su-bong. Su-bong immediately took his chin, forcing him to make eye contact. 

“Look at me, my love,” Su-bong murmured, his gaze fixed on him, “I could never, ever feel disgust for you.” Namgyu lunged at him to kiss him deeply, with an urgent need to feel that he belonged to Su-bong, as if trying to erase any trace of what had happened that night and leave only the boy in front of him. 

“So we're boyfriends, huh?” Namgyu sang, giving him a quick kiss. 

“Of course, did you think I was joking when I said you were mine?” Su-bong replied, stroking his hair. “Let's go take that shower.”

“Tell me you have hot water,” Namgyu pleaded. 

“Not exactly, but I'll make sure you stay warm in other ways,” Su-bong suggested, helping him undress once they got to the bathroom. 

“Fuck, it's freezing,” Namgyu complained as soon as he felt the water on his leg. It was his own fault for believing Su-bong, who was still standing there, taking the shower as if it weren't buckets of ice.

“The first splash is the hardest, you'll get used to it,” Su-bong assured him as he mentioned the health benefits of bathing in cold water. He took a bar of soap of dubious origin and rubbed it gently on Namgyu's arms, then rinsed them off. He delicately cleaned the bloodstains from Namgyu's face with his hands, whispering words that managed to relax him. “You're really beautiful, Namsu.” 

“And you're an idiot,” he replied, taking the soap to help Su-bong clean himself. “I have a lot of scars.”

“I have them too, and they don't seem to bother you,” he replied simply. Su-bong kissed his forehead and moved down to his cheeks, lips, jaw, and neck. “You're so beautiful. So perfect and mine.”

“Don't say that,” Namgyu murmured, “because you make me want to be yours forever.” 

“I want you to be mine forever,” Su-bong replied in the same tone, “fuck it, Namgyu, I think I love you.”

Namgyu was silent for a moment, not knowing exactly how to respond. He hadn't expected Su-bong to say something like that. He had never thought of him as a romantic man, much less thought that he took it so seriously. It had been a time of many changes. Two days ago, he thought he was just a promoter he occasionally had fun with, and now he was calling him his boyfriend and telling him he loved him.

No one had ever told Namgyu that they loved him.

No one except Hyun-ju, and she was partly obliged to do so. 

No one taught him how to react to this kind of situation. The only thing Namgyu knew was that he never wanted to let go of that feeling again. No one had ever made him feel this way, no one had ever done so much for him. Maybe it was a different kind of love, but damn it, it felt good. 

“I think I love you too, Su-bong,” he replied, in the middle of a shower that made him shiver with cold, in a run-down cabin, next to a man willing to do anything for him, but who also hid things. They were both laughing like two idiots in love as they kissed. 

And in the midst of the chaos, everything seemed perfect. 

That night, under the icy water of a makeshift shower, the two shared a space that was more intimate than any words could express. At least for the rest of the night, they wanted to forget about the rest of the world. They would face their problems at dawn, but they both understood that something unbreakable was being born there.

When they finished cleaning themselves, they wrapped towels around their bodies and headed to their new room to change clothes. It was the first time they could truly appreciate each other's bodies. Unlike other times, there was no latent sexual interest, it was simply... intimate, and it didn't feel wrong. 

Namgyu took clothes for both of them out of his suitcase and took the opportunity to hug Su-bong from behind, planting warm kisses on his neck. His fingers traced a tattoo on the back of his neck and moved down to his arms. 

“You know...” he said in a low voice, looking at the back of the room, “I also learned to heal bruises as a child.” Nam-gyu looked at him, surprised. 

“What?” Su-bong shrugged.

“My father also used to take the shit out on me. Sometimes with words, sometimes with his hands. I taught myself to bandage myself because no one else would.” The silence stretched for a moment. Nam-gyu impulsively placed his hand on Su-bong's. 

“You didn't have to go through it alone.” Su-bong looked at him, and something vulnerable flashed in his eyes before he looked away.

“I think part of me is jealous,” Su-bong admitted, shifting to look at Namgyu, who looked confused. It was obvious that Su-bong grew up in a home with better opportunities, so what on earth could he be jealous of? “Your parents were awful too, but you had a sister who took care of you... whereas I... I was alone.”

“Oh, baby...” Namgyu murmured and took his hands as if trying to protect him, “you're not alone anymore, I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere.”

“You say that because you don't know everything yet.”

“You heard what that man said, and you still love me,” Namgyu replied, his voice breaking, “I could never leave you after everything you've done for me.” 

“Swear it,” Su-bong asked, searching for Namgyu's lips. 

“I swear,” Namgyu replied, moaning as he felt Su-bong's tongue in his mouth. He always seemed hungry for him, as if he could never get enough, as if nothing was ever enough. “We are the same,” he said with something akin to devotion, “and you are beautiful, all of you,” he said as his fingers lightly touched a scar on Su-bong's arm. It was prominent, even though he tried to cover it with a tattoo. “It's beautiful.”

“That was a gift from my dad when I wanted to do something different from what my family does,” he confessed, avoiding her gaze, “so I would never forget where I came from.” 

“You can't change where you come from, but you can change where you're going,” Namgyu replied, practically whispering in Su-bong's ear. He smiled. 

“Hyun-ju always knew what to say,” Su-bong said with a smile that faded almost instantly. Namgyu sat up straighter on the bed. 

“How do you know?”

“Because you already told me,” Su-bong replied, although Namgyu was sure he hadn't. “Aren't you hungry? We haven't eaten all day.”

“Not really,” Namgyu shrugged, at first staring at a fixed point on Su-bong's body, until he noticed a scar near his wrist, unlike the other white ones, it was still reddish. “It's recent,” Namgyu acknowledged, not reprimanding, but informing. 

“It's not what you think,” Su-bong replied almost immediately, as if on the defensive. “Those pills help you, but for me, this is a bit like...”

“It helps you silence the voices,” Namgyu finished for him, always understanding. “You don't have to be ashamed with me,” he climbed easily onto Su-bong's lap, as if that were his place, and brought his hands to the back of his neck, “you're mine and I'm yours.”

“Fuck yeah,” that seemed to activate something new in Su-bong, he clung to Namgyu on his lap with one arm, while with the other he struggled to remove the towel wrapped around his body, “that's what I want, I want to be yours, my Namsu.” 

“I want you to fuck me on this bed,” Namgyu said quietly as he bit Su-bong's lips, “you said you wanted to see me ride you, didn't you? Let's do it.” 

“Shit, we don't have any lube,” Su-bong complained, but it didn't seem to stop Namgyu, “get down, baby, I can give you a blow job.”

“Or we can do it raw,” Namgyu suggested, kissing him again, “I can take it, baby, come on.”

“No, I'm going to hurt you,” Su-bong moaned, feeling Namgyu already touching his erection, “Fuck, Namgyu, it's going to hurt.”

“It doesn't matter, I want it,” he insisted, moving on top of him, “and you want it too, come on, baby.”

“Not without lube,” Su-bong refused to budge and pushed Namgyu away from his lap, “believe me, I want it too, but I don't want to hurt you like that.” Namgyu stood up without saying anything and started rummaging through the bags. “What's wrong? Are you angry?”

“Shut up.”

“You can't get angry because I don't want to fuck you without lubricant,” Su-bong pointed out. “Namgyu, come on, honey, we can still do some things and...” Su-bong fell silent when he saw Namgyu smiling with his razor in his hand. He frowned in confusion. “I don't know what the hell you're planning to do, but put that back where it was.”

“You cut yourself with this shit, right?” Namgyu assumed and examined it. “It's pretty... very pretty.” He wanted to test how sharp it was and cut the tip of his index finger. He immediately felt the burning sensation and smiled when he saw his blood flowing quickly. “Did you see how I bled?”

“Namgyu, put that down.”

“Wait, I have an idea,” Su-bong sometimes feared the strong connection he had with Namgyu, because there was no need for him to say anything else for Namgyu to know what he meant, and he immediately stood up, trying to stop him, but it was too late. 

Namgyu groaned almost immediately, and Su-bong could only stand by his side watching him bleed. He dropped the knife and showed him his arm, smiling, proud of what he had just done. 

“We have to clean you up,” Su-bong said, but Namgyu kept looking at him, forcing him to stretch out his arm, and then he saw it. “Now we're equal.”

“You're fucking crazy,” Su-bong muttered, noticing that his erection was dripping, just like Namgyu's. 

“And that's what you love about me,” Namgyu replied, rubbing his arm against Su-bong's erection. “Did you want lubricant? Here you go, honey. Now you can fuck me.”

“You fucking madman,” Su-bong growled, bending him over the desk. Namgyu moaned with satisfaction. “Always pushing me to the limit. I love whatever is wrong with your head,” he complained as he rubbed his fingers against Namgyu's wound, squeezing to make it bleed more. "Don't complain. You wanted blood, didn't you? Then bleed, bitch."

“Don't pretend you don't like it,” Namgyu moaned as he felt the first finger. “Fuck, yes... I know you wanted this, I saw it in your eyes.” His body seemed to move against his will, seeking to join Su-bong. “Another one. Give me another one,” he begged. 

“I love how desperate you are for a little attention,” Su-bong muttered, inserting two more fingers. Namgyu whimpered a little at the intrusion. “No, don't resist. You wanted this. You're going to get it, like the whore you are.”

“Fuck...”

“And you wanted to take me raw,” Su-bong teased, spanking his butt, “greedy slut, you always wanted this, didn't you?”

“I want everything you want to give me,” Namgyu replied, “please, do it now, I need you.”

“I love you so much that I don't know what to do with all these feelings,” Su-bong growled as he entered, the warm, tight sensation Namgyu gave him was irresistible, he didn't give him a moment's respite, and pursued what his body craved. He felt Namgyu scream and cling to the furniture where he was lying. He reached for his body and grabbed his hips. “You feel so good, baby.”

“Fuck, Su-bong, don't stop,” Namgyu begged, trying to keep up with the pace he was setting.

“So much time with whore blowjobs and I was missing out on this,” Su-bong muttered, kissing Namgyu's neck, “Shit, why didn't we do this sooner?”

“I thought you wouldn't love me anymore after,” Namgyu moaned, feeling Su-bong's caresses all over his body. 

“It's impossible to stop loving you,” said Su-bong, penetrating him harder, searching for Namgyu's lips to kiss him, although the angle made it difficult and it was more of a mixture of teeth, tongues, and breath. “With you, I have everything.”

“Will you still love me after this?” asked Namgyu with his last breath.

“All the fucking time,” Su-bong replied, taking Namgyu's member and masturbating him, “Fuck, I'm going to cum, where do you want it?”

“Cum inside me, you idiot, it belongs to me just like you do,” Namgyu growled as he felt Su-bong's movements become faster and more irregular, and he began to hit that spot that drove him crazy, “yes, baby, right there, don't stop, don't you dare stop, I'm going to cum, fuck.”

Strands of cum fell onto the old desk as Namgyu moaned and squeezed out the aftermath of his orgasm. And he sighed when he felt Su-bong's warmth inside him, along with his rapid breathing. He smiled as he felt him caress his body delicately, as if Namgyu might break.

“Did I hurt you?” Su-bong asked, still catching his breath. 

“No, I'm fine,” Namgyu replied, in a similar state. 

“Your cut?” Su-bong insisted, carefully pulling out of Namgyu and gently taking his arm, which was still bleeding. He caressed Namgyu and kissed the wound. “Let's get you healed, honey.”

“Do you still love me?” Namgyu asked. 

“With all my heart,” Su-bong replied before kissing him. 

Su-bong took them back to the bathroom and they had to shower again, far from the heat of the moment. Namgyu tucked his hair behind his ear uncomfortably, not knowing what to expect next, while Su-bong moved lightly, moving his hands exaggeratedly to get Namgyu's attention. 

“Here you are, are you feeling okay?” he asked worriedly.

“Yes, just a little dizzy.”

“It's a rather deep cut,” Su-bong observed as he cleaned it with gauze. “I'll bandage it well, but it will leave a scar.”

“Just like yours,” Namgyu replied, and dared to look at Su-bong, “thank you for taking care of me.”

“I told you, I'm good at bandaging.”

They returned to the room in silence, and Namgyu set aside some loose clothing so they could sleep comfortably. He felt Su-bong's gaze on him at all times, and he didn't know how to break the silence. It didn't bother him, but he didn't know exactly what he wanted at that moment. Perhaps, after so much contact, he was becoming very needy. 

“I'm going to turn off the light,” Namgyu said.

“Wait,” Su-bong got out of bed and caught up with him, took him by the waist and smiled, “Silly, you're so silly, Namgyu, but you're a really cute silly.”

“What's going on?”

“I want to do it properly,” Su-bong explained, and before Namgyu could ask what he meant, he brought his hands to the back of his neck and kissed Namgyu, without sexual intentions or lust, it was a kiss for the sake of kissing, his lips sought his like a pair of teenagers exploring their feelings, and damn, that's how Namgyu felt. 

They smiled between kisses, as if they were able to communicate without needing words. 

“I love you, Namgyu,” Su-bong murmured before kissing him again. 

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, the atmosphere in the house was filled with an eerie silence, broken only by the clatter of cutlery against plates. The three of them had sat down to dinner together, at Su-bong's insistence, although the tension was palpable. Nam-gyu played with his food, trying not to make too much eye contact with Dae-ho, who seemed to be measuring his every move from the start.

“Would you like some more rice, babe?” asked Su-bong, trying to lighten the mood as he served another helping.

“I'm fine, thank you,” replied Nam-gyu with a slight smile, only to feel the weight of Dae-ho's gaze upon him. Silence fell once again. Dae-ho cleared his throat.

“It must be... interesting to spend so much time with Su-bong. Especially in his room, right, Namgyu?” he said, his tone laden with innuendo. Su-bong shot him a warning glance, but Nam-gyu raised an eyebrow and, with an amused air, was ready to respond.

“Interesting isn't the word I would use... exhausting , perhaps, is more appropriate.” Nam-gyu turned to Su-bong and gave him a mischievous smile. “But it's worth it.” Dae-ho's face hardened, while Su-bong tried to stifle an uncomfortable laugh.

A little later, in the kitchen while they were washing the dishes, Nam-gyu sought a moment of privacy with Su-bong, away from Dae-ho, and they took the opportunity to have a casual conversation, but it was inevitable that the subject would come up.

 “I think your best friend hates me,” Su-bong leaned toward him. 

“Don't be dramatic. He's just... having a hard time getting used to it,” he replied in a low voice, as if telling a secret. Nam-gyu snorted, rolling his eyes. 

“It's not getting used to it, it's that every time I talk, it's like he's evaluating me for a fucking exam.” As if he had heard them, Dae-ho entered the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.

“All I'm saying is that you could be more... discreet. This house isn't that big, you know? You can hear everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. ” He emphasized the last word with annoyance. Nam-gyu blushed suddenly, but he didn't stay silent.

“Well, you could put earplugs in. Or... find something fun to do on your own. If it bothers you so much, why do you keep listening? You can join us if you want, it could be fun.” Su-bong let out a laugh he couldn't contain, and Dae-ho gave him a withering look.

“It's not funny, Su-bong.”

“Yes, it is,” he replied, still laughing, as he casually put his arm around Nam-gyu's shoulders. “And in case you haven't figured it out, he's my boyfriend. So whether you like it or not, you'll have to get used to it.” Dae-ho clenched his jaw but didn't respond. He stormed out of the kitchen with a snort. Nam-gyu watched him go, still a little tense.

“He definitely hates me,” Namgyu muttered. Su-bong kissed him on the temple and smiled. 

“Or he's just jealous because he doesn't have your amazing ass.”

That same night, Su-bong was focused on trying to fix the old TV in the living room, while Dae-ho leafed through a book in the corner of the sofa, his jaw clenching every time he heard Nam-gyu's light laughter.

Nam-gyu, noticing the discomfort, leaned over to Su-bong to massage his shoulders. 

“You look really hot when you're focused on fixing things like the man of the house,” he murmured. 

“Don't start something we can't finish,” Su-bong warned.

“Oh, right, I forgot we have the sound police with us, and I don't want to give him any more reasons to hate me.” Dae-ho slammed the book shut. 

“I don't hate you. I just...” He swallowed, avoiding his gaze. “I have a hard time understanding how you fit in here.” Nam-gyu smiled mischievously, resting his elbow on the living room table. 

“Well, it seems I fit in pretty well in Su-bong's room, doesn't it?” The silence that followed made Su-bong almost choke on his own saliva. 

“Nam-gyu!” he scolded, though he could barely hide his smile. Dae-ho's face turned red.

“That explains the noises,” Dae-ho grumbled. 

“Noises?” Nam-gyu leaned forward, a provocative smirk on his face. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I'm talking about,” Dae-ho muttered, crossing his arms. “The wall isn't as thick as you guys think.” Su-bong buried his face in his hands. 

“Dae-ho...”

“Wow, so you hate me because you can't sleep? How sensitive you are, ‘best friend.’ I already told you that you can join us if you want, you just have to ask,” Namgyu laughed melodiously. Dae-ho clenched his jaw, but there was more confusion than real anger in his eyes. 

“I just don't want to see Su-bong distracted by someone who... who could hurt him.” Nam-gyu was silent for a few seconds, surprisingly serious.

“Believe me, Dae-ho... I could never hurt him,” he replied in a lower tone, affectionately stroking Su-bong's arm. “Unless he asks me to,” he joked for a moment. 

“Okay, now that we've cleared up that Nam-gyu isn't a villain and that you, Dae-ho, are too nosy, can we continue to live together as civilized people?” 

“So, friends?” Nam-gyu let out a light laugh and reached out his hand to Dae-ho in a gesture of truce. Dae-ho looked at him suspiciously, hesitated for a few seconds, and finally accepted the handshake.

“Friends... as long as you don't make so much noise.”

“I can't promise anything,” Nam-gyu winked cheekily. Su-bong slumped back against the seat, smiling resignedly. 

“You two are driving me crazy.”

Nam-gyu smiled triumphantly, while Su-bong massaged his temples, caught between his boyfriend's irony and his best friend's distrust.

[...]

Minutes later, Nam-gyu decided to take a shower before going to bed. The cold water ran over him, but it helped him clear his head. It was amazing how quickly his body seemed to get used to the changes. Suddenly, the door creaked and Su-bong entered.

“What are you doing?” Nam-gyu asked, trying to sound firm even though his heart was racing.

“We're saving water, remember?” Su-bong replied with a half-smile, taking off his T-shirt and stepping under the stream.

“But Dae-ho said...”

“Since when do you want to do what Dae-ho says?” Su-bong teased.

[...]

Dae-ho left in the morning to buy groceries and a few things they needed for the house. He took the car so it wouldn't take so long, and neither Namgyu nor Su-bong objected. In fact, they wanted more time alone. It wasn't just about sex, which turned out to be very good, but they also enjoyed everyday life, lying in bed cuddled up talking about their childhoods or their fears. 

Getting to know each other and talking about their feelings was becoming less scary and more familiar. 

“Do you think Dae-ho will really bring the chocolate I asked for? He could say there wasn't any and get away with it without us knowing,” Su-bong started laughing, “I'm serious, idiot, I don't think I can live another day without sweets.”

“He doesn't hate you, honey, and I don't think he's going to take revenge with your chocolates.”

“I don't know,” Namgyu changed his tone, becoming more serious, “I know he's your best friend and you've known each other for many years, he's probably helped you with everything, but... no, forget it.”

"No. Say it. You're my boyfriend, remember? Your opinion matters to me,“ Su-bong assured him, ”and if Dae-ho doesn't bring chocolates, I'll beat him up myself. I promise." Namgyu smiled. 

“I don't trust him,” Namgyu blurted out without hesitation, "aside from his overprotective attitude towards you, which I understand... I don't know, when he looks at me... I feel like he's hiding something, like he knows more than he's saying, or maybe I'm talking too much."

For a moment, the silence between the two seemed different. Namgyu turned to look at Su-bong and frowned when he saw that Su-bong had sat down. He looked in Namgyu's direction and asked him to come closer. He pursed his lips once more and gave him a strange look, as if he were mentally debating whether to speak or remain silent. 

“Namgyu, I think the time has come to tell you what's going on,” Su-bong said after a pause.

“Are you sure? You seemed very upset about it a few days ago.”

“I am, but this is about you now too, and I hate to admit it, but Dae-ho is right, and you should at least have the option to decide what you want to do.”

“What do I want to do about what? I don't understand.”

“The truth,” Su-bong replied, "the truth about everything, but before he could continue, the noise of several vehicles caught both their attention. Dae-ho had to park the car far from the cabin, and the main thing was that they only had one damn car. There were only two possibilities: Either Dae-ho had betrayed them, or Dae-ho was already dead. 

Before Namgyu could even process what was happening, Su-bong grabbed him forcefully, forcing him under the bed and telling him not to scream. He didn't understand why until a metallic noise echoed through the cabin. 

Gunshots.

They were fucking gunshots.

Su-bong covered Namgyu's ears and prevented him from moving. He was firm and surprisingly calm, as if he were used to this kind of situation. Namgyu closed his eyes, unable to imagine what might happen to them next. 

Because they were obviously going to kill them.

And while Namgyu wasn't exactly enthusiastic about life, these weren't the circumstances in which he wanted to die. 

Namgyu tried to be like his sister for a moment and analyzed the situation. Logically, they outnumbered them and had many weapons, but the shots seemed to be confined to the living room and bathroom, not the bedroom. And Su-bong was calm. 

When the shooting stopped and only the smell of gunpowder remained in the air, he understood. They weren't going to kill them outright; it was just a warning. They were letting them know that they had found them, or perhaps that they had been watching them all along. 

“Su-bong? What's going on? Why haven't they killed us yet?” Namgyu asked, frightened. 

“Don't say anything,” Su-bong whispered.

“What about Dae-ho? Is he with them?”

“No,” Su-bong replied confidently. “I don't think so.”

“Why did they stop? They... they didn't shoot at the room, damn it, what are they going to do to us?”

“I won't let them hurt you,” Su-bong replied, with more resignation than concern. “But I need you to tell me if you still love me.”

“Of course I love you,” Namgyu replied.

“No. Not now,” he muttered. “I just want you to remember that I love you, despite everything.”

Namgyu was about to speak, but stopped abruptly when he felt the cabin door slam open. He heard firm footsteps walking around the cabin, as if someone were returning to a place they used to know. It was only a couple of steps. One person.

A man. 

Namgyu caught a glimpse of a pair of perfectly polished black shoes under the bed. They looked expensive, and too clean to belong to a simple thug. No. That man must be the leader, the one who was looking for Su-bong to kill him, and take everyone who came with him too. 

He needed some of his pills right now. Su-bong seemed to notice, because he gripped his hands tighter. 

How would they execute him? A few simple bullets and that's it? No, it seemed too easy. If they really wanted to get rid of Su-bong, they could have killed him the day he showed up at Namgyu's apartment. Did he escape? Did someone help him? Su-bong never told him, and Namgyu wasn't interested in knowing. 

He never imagined he would hear that man laugh. A loud laugh. It sounded like the laugh of an older, stronger man. Someone who felt like a winner, a hunter who had finally found his prey.

“Aren't you a little too old to be hiding under your bed?” the alleged leader asked him graciously. “You're not a child anymore, Su-bong. Come on, stop hiding and show your face. Face the consequences of your actions once and for all, or maybe I'll have to take it out on your... friend. What's your bitch's name? Namgyu?”

“Don't touch him,” Su-bong replied immediately. The man laughed proudly, as if satisfied with the answer. 

“As impulsive as ever. Come out now or I'll blow your brains out, and you know I'm not lying,” the man warned sternly, with such coldness that he sounded a bit like Su-bong himself. 

“We have to get out of here. I won't let him hurt you,” Su-bong repeated in a low voice. “Remember what I told you? I'll keep waiting for your answer.”

“Stop whispering and get out. You've already wasted too much of my time.”

“Put down the gun first,” Su-bong replied. The man made a sound of approval, and Namgyu saw him drop two guns on the ground. Su-bong went out first, then he followed. 

The leader advanced toward them. His features were cold, and he looked strangely familiar. 

“I must admit that this time you outdid yourself. You made a big mess, Su-bong.” Silence, absolute silence. “Aren't you going to apologize? You are so rude and ungrateful.”

“I have nothing to apologize for,” Su-bong retorted and received a blow directly to the cheekbone. “I wasn't the one who did anything wrong.”

“What's right and what's wrong? I didn't know you were a moralist now,” he said, apparently amused. "We've already wasted too much time, Su-bong, and I need you to give me an answer. Do you understand everything that's at stake?"

“Yes,” Su-bong said bitterly.

“So, is that a yes?” Su-bong nodded. “No. Like a man. Do we have a deal?”

“We have a deal,” he said against his will. 

“What a rude man, aren't you going to introduce us, son?” the man asked Namgyu with false kindness. 

Son?

Fucking shit.

Nam-gyu's world shook at that moment.

“Namgyu, meet my father.”

The truth had finally come to light.

Chapter Text

Everything happened faster than Namgyu remembered, although it still played out in slow motion, like a movie. Damn. In reality, none of what was happening seemed real. When they left the cabin, several vehicles and a group of armed men were waiting for them, probably awaiting instructions from Su-bong's father. 

The armed men opened the doors of a van and, without saying a word, blindfolded them.

“No... no, wait,” Namgyu stammered, tensing his shoulders.

“Calm down,” Su-bong whispered, barely audibly. “They won't hurt you if we cooperate,” but the rough grip of one of the guards contradicted him. “Be more careful how you touch him,” he warned, remaining calm as he heard his father's laughter. 

“I don't think you understand that you're in no position to threaten anyone,” his father reminded him, “or haven't you learned your place?”

“You don't need to blindfold him,” Su-bong insisted. “It's been too much for him.”

“You really care about him,” Su-bong's father seemed surprised by this. “This will be fun.”

The ride in the van was long, silent, and stifling. The metallic smell of dried blood still permeated Namgyu's shirt, stuck to his skin by sweat. Next to him, Su-bong tried to control his breathing, as if with each inhalation he could contain the fear that threatened to overwhelm him.

Namgyu tried to control his breathing, but it was in vain. The bandage over his eyes burned, rough and too tight. Next to him, he heard Su-bong's restrained breathing as he whispered to calm him down.

“Calm down, Namgyu... I'm here, right next to you,” said Su-bong, his soft tone contrasting with the chaos of boots and voices around them. He tried to blindly reach for Namgyu's hands and sighed when he felt his little finger. “Can you feel me? I'm here, and whatever we have to face, we'll face it together.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, baby, everything will be fine.”

Namgyu wanted to believe him, but each step sank him deeper into fear. Deprived of sight, with an uncertain future and no idea what awaited him, time seemed to pass in a strange way. Had an hour passed or just ten minutes? Namgyu stopped breathing as soon as he felt the car stop. 

They were both dragged to an unknown place. They could feel the dampness of the walls and the echo of their own footsteps, which told them they were entering a large space, probably a basement or cellar. When the blindfolds were finally removed, the yellowish light from a hanging spotlight blinded them.

It was terrible, and Namgyu felt terrified, almost as much as when his father beat him as a child. He hated that feeling of being afraid of what might happen to him, although Su-bong's presence brought him some relief. His words still echoed in his mind: whatever they were going to face, they would do it together, and for some reason, it sounded encouraging. 

And he knew it was too good to be true. 

They separated him from Su-bong without warning, despite his screams and resistance, and managed to take them down different paths in the new hell he had to go through. Namgyu was left completely alone, and that terrified him even more than death. 

A couple of men grabbed Namgyu and dragged him down a damp hallway as if he were an insignificant rag doll, letting his shoes slip on the stone floor. When they finally seemed satisfied with the location, they pushed him into a gray room, where he recognized another figure huddled against the wall.

At first, neither spoke. Mistrust filled the air like smoke.

“How lucky you are... to end up here with me,” Dae-ho muttered, forcing a bitter smile.

Namgyu didn't respond. He sat on the floor, trying to regulate his breathing. Hours passed in silence until they heard footsteps outside. They both held their breath, as if doing so would make them invisible. The guards passed by, Namgyu could smell the scent of cigarettes and hear casual conversations between them, as if it were an office job. Dae-ho sighed. 

“We won't last long if we keep this up, silent as the dead.” Namgyu glanced at him sideways.

“And what do you suggest? Talking as if we were friends?”

“No. Surviving,” he replied firmly. Then he added ironically, “Although, if you want, we can also talk about how useless it is to hate each other in here.”

Namgyu pressed his lips together, but in the end he let himself be carried away by that spark of realism. He leaned against the wall, breathing heavily, as he watched Dae-ho with a restrained expression, then he noticed his condition: he was even more beaten up than Su-bong when he showed up at his apartment. 

The silence in the room was thick, barely interrupted by the dripping of water from some rusty pipe. Dae-ho clutched his side, blood soaking through the fabric of his shirt, but his eyes were still fiery.

“You shouldn't talk. You'll lose more blood,” Namgyu said. 

“And you shouldn't worry about someone who treated you like shit” Namgyu looked down, uncomfortable, but didn't respond. He took a piece of torn fabric from his own clothes and slowly approached.

“Let me at least stop the bleeding.”

“With what? Your shaky hands?” Dae-ho smiled wearily, almost mockingly.

“Stop acting like an idiot. I don't want you to die here... not like this,” Namgyu replied.

“Since when do you care? I thought you hated me.”

“I need to keep my mind busy or I'll explode,” Namgyu replied, “and I'm good at healing wounds. I thought you wanted us to get along while we're here.”

“Well, at least I'm not dead... yet.”

A heavy silence fell between them, but something in Dae-ho's tone sounded almost confessional, as if he wanted to unburden himself before it was too late. Namgyu felt the hostility between them dissipate, replaced by a complicity forced by the situation.

“What are you doing here?” Dae-ho raised an eyebrow. Namgyu sighed. “I mean, why did they let you in with me?” Namgyu asked.

“It's pretty obvious,” Dae-ho replied with a tone of resignation. “We're going to die, Namgyu. Those thugs are going to kill us to teach Su-bong a lesson.”

Oh. 

So that was really it.

Namgyu felt like vomiting when he realized it made sense. It was more than obvious that Su-bong and his family were involved in illegal business, he screwed up and his father threatened to kill him, beat him up so badly that he was in real pain, and Su-bong sought refuge, his father found a way to hurt him. 

That's why they separated them. Because Su-bong might have made a huge mistake, but he was still his father's son.

Did Su-bong always know? Would he try to change his fate? Or would he resign himself to it? Maybe it wasn't the first time he'd had this kind of problem, and he'd find another naive guy like Namgyu to have fun with. 

In truth, nothing mattered anymore. Namgyu was going to die, and there was nothing Su-bong could do to change that. 

“Then help me understand something, now that neither of us has anything left to lose. I don't understand...” Namgyu muttered, avoiding looking at him directly. “Why did you look at me like that, ever since we met?” Dae-ho let out a bitter laugh that ended in a cough.

“Is that what worries you now?”

“I don't know, now that we're going to be death partners, maybe we should be honest or we'll spend a terrible eternity,” he said, still focused on Dae-ho's wounds.

“Because I knew what you meant to him. To Su-bong. To his father. And because... I was afraid something like this might happen.” Dae-ho groaned a little when Namgyu tightened the makeshift bandage. "My turn. Why the sudden change? Do you think I'm going to protect you like Su-bong? Or why did you go from hating me to trying to help me?"

“It's not that simple. You... you were always there, like a shadow. I never understood why you looked at me that way.” Dae-ho lets out a bitter laugh, which ends in a groan of pain.

“Maybe because I saw something in you that I couldn't have. You were free, even if you didn't know it. I, on the other hand... I was always just another piece in this damn game.” Namgyu pressed firmly to stop the bleeding. “You weren't lying, you're good with wounds.”

“It doesn't seem fair. That we have to pay for mistakes we didn't make.”

“The world has never been fair, Namgyu. But... if there's one thing I've learned, it's that even in the midst of shit, you can choose which side you're on.”

It made sense. You always had a choice, and Su-bong didn't choose it.

That was all, and Namgyu wasn't ready to die. 

At least not like this, betrayed by the person he loved. 

The room was dimly lit, with a metallic smell of dried blood mingling with the dampness of the walls. Dae-ho was leaning against a corner, his shirt torn to shreds and a makeshift bandage on his side. Namgyu paced back and forth, like a trapped beast, unable to stand still.

“Stop moving so much...” Dae-ho growled, his voice hoarse with pain. “You're going to make more noise than we need.” Namgyu glanced at him sideways, his hands shaking.

“So what? Does it matter?” he replied in a whisper laden with rage. “We're trapped, Dae-ho. And all... all of this... is his fault.” Dae-ho narrowed his eyes, struggling to breathe.

“Him? Are you talking about Su-bong?” Namgyu nodded sharply, his lips tight. “Did he break your heart?”

“You're still an idiot,” Namgyu muttered. “Isn't he supposed to be your best friend? Don't you feel bad that he made fun of us?”

“You're too hurt to understand,” Dae-ho realized, “it's not something Su-bong can control, our world is like that, and even though it may not seem like it, he has always tried to protect you.”

“Then why doesn't he free us now?” Namgyu challenged. 

“You wouldn't understand now. And maybe... I don't have time to explain it to you anymore.”

“I don't understand why you still trust Su-bong,” Namgyu said, without looking him in the eye.

 “And you?” Dae-ho replied in a whisper. “You're still here, despite everything you know.”

“We're literally locked in here, you idiot.”

“You know what I mean,” Dae-ho continued, “ever since you decided to open the door for him the night he asked for your help, you knew something wasn't right, and yet you still trusted him.”

“I thought he really loved me, but it was too good to be true.”

“You really don't realize what's happening, do you?”

“All I see is our fucking death, Dae-ho. Why isn't he with us? Because he'll save himself.”

“Su-bong is being tortured, and they'll probably make him choose to save one of us, and I think we both know who it will be,” Dae-ho replied almost impulsively. He tried to shrug, but his wounds hurt too much. “Shit.” 

“What the hell did you say?” How deranged did Su-bong's family have to be to come up with something so cruel? Namgyu's chest tightened at the thought of Su-bong being in danger, injured, being abused by his father again.

Then he understood.

The full weight of it fell on him.

Su-bong wasn't abandoning them.

He would try to hold out as long as he could to buy them time.

Because he couldn't choose between his best friend's life and his boyfriend's.

Because he didn't want to lose any more people.

Because it was something that had already happened?

“Be careful what you wish to know, Namgyu. There are truths that will never let you go,” Dae-ho murmured as he looked at him gravely.

Chapter Text

Sacrifice is probably one of the purest and most genuine acts of love that exist. Voluntarily giving up something you cherish is something very few people are willing to do. How can you choose one life over another? How can you go on knowing that someone died because of your decision? Namgyu couldn't imagine how Su-bong felt.

And maybe he wouldn't share it out loud, but he could understand whatever decision Su-bong made. Dae-ho was his right-hand man, his best friend, and he understood him better than anyone else. Namgyu... was replaceable, he couldn't judge him for choosing his winning horse. And he couldn't live with the responsibility if he chose him either.

How much longer would they remain captive?

The answer was a cruel silence. Days passed, although Namgyu wasn't sure how many, maybe four, maybe five. Without enough food, without rest, without medicine. He simply had the company of Dae-ho, whose injuries didn't seem to be improving, and who spent most of his time asleep, probably with a fever and many nightmares. 

Dae-ho used to complain in his sleep, startle awake, and wake up gasping and teary-eyed. Namgyu thought it was a result of trauma; he was too calm to be a captive, and his experience in Su-bong's family must have prepared him for the worst, but how much can a man bear?

“You know, ever since I met you, I had this strange feeling that you were hiding something, and I still believe it,” Namgyu said as he poured Dae-ho some water.

“Well, it's probably about what Su-bong's family does,” Dae-ho tried to explain.

“No,” Namgyu kept his gaze on him. “Something else.” He moved away a little to give him space. “You know, my sister used to tell me that if one person dies next to another, they're destined to spend eternity together. It would be really horrible if our eternity looked like these days.”

“And what would you prefer? That we have a sleepover? Do you want me to braid your hair?” Dae-ho teased. 

“Well, I can improve on that awful hairstyle of yours,” Namgyu replied, eliciting a laugh in response. “I don't know, it was probably just child's play, but it used to give me hope.”

“I grew up with four sisters,” Dae-ho said after a long silence, seemingly lost in thought. “And sometimes when I wanted to talk to them, we played secret for secret.” Namgyu frowned.

“That sounds like a shitty game.”

"It is. But that's basically what it is. You tell me a secret, and in return, I'll tell you another," Dae-ho offered. 

“And how do I know you're telling the truth?” Namgyu asked.

“Well, I guess we just have to trust each other,” Dae-ho replied, “it's not like we have anything to lose.”

“What are the rules?”

“That's the best part: there are no rules.”

“Okay, I understand, so I guess I'll go first,” Namgyu looked up, as if thinking about his best-kept secret. “Su-bong has the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life.”

“That's disgusting, and it's also a big lie,” Dae-ho scoffed. 

“Well... when I met Su-bong, I was about to jump off a bridge and he stopped me,” Namgyu said after a pause, "I mean, he didn't intervene directly, he just started talking to me casually and I took it as a sign of a new beginning, I thought my sister had sent him as if he were an angel, maybe that's why I follow him devotedly everywhere, even though I want to kill him sometimes."

“He has that power, doesn't he?” Dae-ho acknowledged, “to make you believe that all problems have a solution and to always find the bright side in everything. That bastard.”

“That doesn't count as a secret,” Namgyu observed. 

“I know,” Dae-ho acknowledged, “it's just... I was trying to think of an easier way to say it, but, damn it, I don't think there's an easy way to do it, we're screwed.”

“Try,” Namgyu asked him. 

“Namgyu... there's something I have to tell you.” His voice trembled, unlike the confidence he always showed.

“What is it?” he asked, confused.

"It´s about your sister"

"Dae-ho..."

“Your sister didn't kill herself,” Dae-ho said. Namgyu felt as if the air had been knocked out of him. His hands trembled.

“What... did you say?”

“Do you really think Hyun-ju was going to kill herself?” Dae-ho continued.

“Look, you idiot, I don't know what you think you heard in the cabin, or if Su-bong told you something, but you don't do this kind of shit,” Namgyu muttered, looking at him with pain. “If you talk about my sister again, I'll save Su-bong the decision and kill you myself.”

“I knew your sister, Namgyu,” Dae-ho continued. Namgyu took a step back, incredulous. Pain and rage mingled in his chest. 

“My sister...?” Namgyu's legs faltered for a moment, and he tried to compose himself as he realized that Dae-ho was serious. “You met Hyun-ju?” Dae-ho smiled. “What the hell are you laughing at, idiot?”

“She used to say that your eyes looked like a baby cow's when you get scared, and I just realized she was right.”

“Stop! Stop lying!” Namgyu exclaimed, shedding his first tear.

“She called you Gunnyie,” Dae-ho insisted, and that was enough to prove he wasn't lying. Namgyu's world shattered in a second. The room seemed to shrink, becoming airless.

“What... what the hell are you saying?” His voice sounded broken, incredulous. Dae-ho took a step toward him, trying to be firm. 

“I didn't mean to hurt you, Namgyu. She was important to me, and I never wanted you to find out like this... but I can't keep quiet about it anymore.”

“Were you friends with Hyun-ju?” Namgyu asked in a barely audible voice.

“Actually... I was with her. Hyun-ju was my girlfriend.” Dae-ho looked him straight in the eye, without flinching. “I loved her. And she... loved me too. We just wanted to raise enough money to pay off her debts and also for the surgery in Thailand.”

“Did she tell you about Thailand?” Namgyu couldn't believe it.

“We were planning to go with you, of course,” he replied with a small smile and tears in his eyes. “She didn't want you to know about her financial problems, and she thought that eventually everything would work out as she hoped.” Namgyu clenched his teeth, a muffled cry escaping from his throat.

“Dae-ho, are you telling me they killed my sister?” Namgyu felt a sharp pain in his chest as he watched him nod. “How? How did she die?”

“Ask Su-bong. He's the only one who can tell you the truth.”

“Bullshit! Why would you tell me that now?”

“Because you deserve to know. That, and because I feel like I'm also to blame for her death.”

“Are you saying that all this time, you and Su-bong knew about this and let me believe that my sister had committed suicide? Why did you do that?” Dae-ho looked away. He neither confirmed nor denied it. He just let out a broken sigh.

“It wasn't what you think,” he whispered, with a hint of sadness. “There are things you don't understand... things even I didn't want to do.” Namgyu looked at him with a frown, suspicion germinating in his chest.

"What do you mean? You lied to me from the beginning. You knew who my sister was. You knew how she died... and you let it go. And you!“ His voice broke for a moment. ”You were there too."

A heavy silence fell. Dae-ho didn't respond immediately; his gaze, though hardened by pain, shifted away. Namgyu clenched his fists, resentment vibrating in his chest, and staggered backward, his hands in his hair. He didn't know whether to scream, hit him, or sink to the floor. Before he could react, the door burst open. Armed guards entered. And behind them, Su-bong and his father stood tall like a relentless shadow. Dae-ho stepped forward, instinctively placing himself in front of Namgyu. 

“If you come for him, you'll have to get past me first.” The man smiled slightly, a cold gesture.

“How touching. But it's too late for redemption. Too many days have passed, and Su-bong and I have been unable to reach an agreement,” said the man as casually as if he were talking about something unimportant, not the lives of two people. 

Namgyu noticed Su-bong's condition. He was no better than Dae-ho, with dark circles under his eyes, standing only because two guards were holding him up, forcing him to watch, holding him back enough so he couldn't intervene. 

“What do you gain from all this? Namgyu is not to blame for anything,” Su-bong exclaimed with what strength he had left. 

“It's your weakness, son. That boy drags you down. And weaknesses must be eliminated.”

“If you touch him...”

“What will you do? You're nothing but my shadow.” The guards intervened, forcing Su-bong to back away. 

“Why are you doing this?!” roared Su-bong, his fists shaking.

“Because he weakens you.” His father looked at him with contempt. “That boy is your weak spot. He distracts you. He makes you human.”

“And that's wrong?” Su-bong snapped. “You taught me how to survive, but never how to live!” His father laughed harshly. 

“Living is a luxury for the weak. I made you strong. And now I'm going to rip out everything that ties you to your fragility.” Su-bong tried to move forward, but two guards held him back even tighter.

“Namgyu is not your enemy!” he shouted. “If you hurt him, you will lose me forever!”

“I have already lost everything with you, son,” said his father, without a hint of emotion. “Well, it seems that Su-bong has finally made up his mind and you are a hindrance, Dae-ho,” he said firmly. “And hindrances must disappear.”

“No! Please, don´t do this” Namgyu shouted, but it was useless. A shot rang out.

Dae-ho fell to the ground, blood staining his clothes. Namgyu held him in his arms, his eyes filled with tears.

“I'm... sorry for everything,” Dae-ho whispered with a final bitter smile before breathing his last breath.

“Don't waste your strength,” Namgyu pleaded as he tried to stop the bleeding. Su-bong screamed and tried to break free from the guards' grip, trying to help his best friend. 

“It's okay, everything's okay,” said Dae-ho, “I'm going to see Hyun-ju, Su-bong, brother, everything's okay, can you hold my hand, please?”

“Let me go with him,” exclaimed Su-bong, watching the scene in terror.

“No. That way you'll learn. Loyalty is paid for with blood.”

Namgyu's hands trembled as he held Dae-ho's lifeless body. His breathing quickened until he was almost suffocating.

“My pills...” he pleaded, between sobs. "I need my pills! I beg you! I can't... I can't breathe! Please! I need to talk to Su-bong! He... he can't leave me like this!"

“Look at yourself. So fragile. Did you really think Su-bong could protect you?” Su-bong's father sneered. 

“Father, Namgyu really needs his pills, please, just give us five minutes, I... I need them too.”

“You haven't learned anything, have you?” his father lamented. “Get out. You have no business here,” he instructed, and the impassive guards closed the door and left him alone with his despair. He heard Su-bong shouting, promising that he would find a way to come back. Su-bong's father was the last to leave, and he gave him a look full of false pity. “Listen to me, boy. You don't understand... Su-bong has already learned his lesson. He's fine. The only one suffering here is you. Because that's what you always were: weak.”

The man left him with those words, like poison in the air. Hours passed, maybe days. Namgyu stopped counting the time. The pain in his chest, the pressure in his head, the constant trembling of his hands made him feel on the verge of madness, and Dae-ho's lifeless body was beside him. 

That same night, Su-bong managed to outwit a couple of guards and enter Namgyu's room. His face was contorted with pain and fury. Su-bong rushed into the room. He knelt in front of him, taking his hands, but Namgyu immediately pulled away.

“Namgyu... it's me.”

“What do you want now? To see them kill me too?”

“No. I came to get you out of here... even if it costs me everything.” Namgyu stared at him, trying to figure out if it was true or another trap.

“No... don't touch me. You knew about my sister. You knew about Dae-ho... and you did nothing.” The rejection was a blow harder than any wound. Su-bong clenched his teeth, holding back tears.

“Namgyu... I swear it's not what you think. I never wanted this to happen. About your sister... I... let me tell you the truth.”

"It's exactly what I think it is! You knew about Hyun-ju,“ Namgyu spat, his voice thick with venom. ”And you let them kill Dae-ho in front of me."

“No!” Su-bong leaned toward him, desperate. “I never wanted that, Namgyu. I... I swear, I didn't know until now. Please believe me.”

Namgyu looked at him with hatred and a hidden longing to believe him. 

But he couldn't. 

Su-bong clenched his fists, swallowing his guilt and helplessness.

“No. Don't look at me like that,” Su-bong pleaded, looking utterly hurt. 

“Look at you how?”

“You look at me like I'm your enemy,” Su-bong said quietly. Namgyu clenched his fists.

“What else are you? You lied to me from the beginning. You knew who my sister was, you knew she was dead... and you let me believe it was suicide!” Su-bong's face hardened, though he did not respond immediately. He took a small bottle of pills out of his pocket and placed it on the table between them.

“I didn't come here to argue. You're upset, take this and then we'll talk.” Namgyu looked at him with contained rage.

“You think I'm going to trust what you give me?” Su-bong sighed, slumped into his chair, and covered his face with his hands for a moment. Then he looked him straight in the eye.

“Don't hate me. I swear I'll tell you the whole truth... even if it costs me everything I have left.” Namgyu looked at him with indescribable pain, torn between betrayal and the feelings that still tied him to Su-bong.

“Then... tell me the truth. The whole truth about my sister.” Namgyu looked at the pill bottle suspiciously, his hands shaking. The anger in his gaze was mixed with a hint of vulnerability, as if he wanted to hate Su-bong but couldn't break away from the connection that bound them together. And finally, he took two pills. 

“If you lie to me again, Su-bong... I swear there will be no place for you to hide from me.” Su-bong nodded, with a sigh that sounded like a plea.

“Then I have no choice... but to tell you the truth.”

Chapter Text

The room was dimly lit, the storm outside rumbling as if accompanying the heavy silence between them. Namgyu could barely look at him; he felt that every word Su-bong had said still burned his skin.

Namgyu took a step back, as if the walls of the room he was in were too narrow to contain the weight of that truth. The image of Dae-ho smiling, always mocking and protective, crumbled in the face of what he had just heard.

It was too much to process. Hyun-ju, his older sister, the person he loved most in the world, had another life, serious financial problems, and had gotten involved with the wrong people. She trusted the wrong people, and they destroyed her big dreams. They used her until she was of no use to them and then discarded her like a piece of used paper. They murdered her, and not content with that, they made it look like suicide. 

In the distance, he heard Su-bong's voice talking about taking him to a more appropriate room, mentioning taking a bath and eating properly. He even felt him light a cigarette and offer one to Namgyu to help him control his nerves. 

“Now you care about me? After everything you kept quiet about.” Namgyu looked at him with disdain. Su-bong slowly lowered his hand. The tension in his fingers was noticeable, as if the decision to speak was tearing him apart inside.

“You have every right to feel that way. I lied to you. I hid things from you... things you shouldn't have had to bear. But if you're going to hate me, let it be with the whole truth.” Namgyu stood motionless, but his chest rose and fell rapidly.

“Then speak.” Su-bong took a deep breath. His voice came out deep and broken.

“Hyun-ju was... She was a great friend, she was like a sister to me too. She was brilliant, stronger than anyone realized. But she had debts, too many, and my father knew it. He hired her, he wrapped her in his web. She thought she would be able to leave once she finished the operations she needed... but my father was never going to allow it.”

Su-bong's voice trembled, even though he tried to keep it steady.

“She wanted to leave, she asked me, and I... I was willing to help her. We had a plan. But my father found out everything. And since she knew too much... he decided she had to disappear. They faked a suicide.” Silence fell like an unbearable weight. Namgyu took a step back, his heart pounding in his chest.

“And you hid all this from me?” His voice broke. “You let me think my sister had abandoned me? All this time I felt so guilty, thinking about what I could have done to prevent it, why I didn't see the signs before. I felt like a shitty brother. Hyun-ju was always there for me, and I couldn't be there for her.”

“I don't know how to fix what I did. I just know that... you needed to know.”

Namgyu stood silent, trembling, as the echo of that revelation reverberated in his head. The poison of betrayal mixed with a new fear: that of discovering that nothing had been an accident.

“Why didn't you ever tell me the truth? Why did you let me live believing that she had taken her own life?” Su-bong clenched his fists.

"Because I couldn't bear it either. She was my friend, Namgyu. The best person I ever met in this hell. She wanted to leave, she wanted to start over, and I was going to help her. But my father wouldn't let us. He said she knew too much. And... Dae-ho and I had to watch." Namgyu felt the air escape him. The image was unbearable.

“So all this time... you looked at me knowing that I was suffering because of a lie?” Namgyu listened with glassy eyes, as if each word pierced his skin.

“Yes,” Su-bong admitted, his voice breaking. “And I hate it. Because if I told you the truth, I would have killed you too. And because I myself... couldn't bear it. She was the only good thing in my life. And I lost her.”

“It's over, Su-bong...” he whispered with contained rage. “Your father killed her. Just like he killed Dae-ho. Just like he ruined everything.” Su-bong took a step forward, pleading. 

“I'm not like him. I don't want to be like him, and you know that, Namgyu.” Su-bong bit his lip, fighting back tears.

“Honestly, I don't know what to believe anymore.” Namgyu backed away, feeling betrayed on all sides, a lump in his throat choking him.

“Baby...”

“No, don't call me baby,” Namgyu interrupted, completely enraged. “You knew all this time and you lied to me.” Su-bong reached out to him, but stopped in midair, afraid to touch him.

“I did it to protect you. I didn't want you to end up consumed by the same darkness that destroyed me.” Namgyu pushed him away with his gaze, between anger and pain, as if the words were sharper than a knife.

"And you expect me to understand that? That I forgive you for keeping something like this from me for months? You took away the only person who was really on my side!" Su-bong's breathing shook, his hands clenched into fists until they bled.

“If I could turn back time, I would. I didn't sleep for months, Namgyu. I saw her fall over and over again every time I closed my eyes. And yet... obedience kept me alive.” 

The memory flashed through his mind: the cold room, Hyun-ju's dead gaze on the floor, and him paralyzed as his father erased all evidence. A knot of rage tightened his chest, remembering how they forced him to sign silence with blood.

“It wasn't my choice. It was proof that I had no choice. And since then, I knew that the only way to have her would be to destroy everything.” Namgyu was trembling, but the fury in his eyes did not hide the tremor of dependence that bound him to him.

“And what about now? What makes you think I can trust you?” Su-bong stepped forward, not to touch him, but to make him feel the firmness of his voice.

"Because I won't fail you. Because if I have to stain my hands further so that you can breathe freely, I will. I will accept the legacy of that monster. I'll pretend to be his obedient son... just to have the power to destroy him from within. And when the time comes, I want you to watch him burn with me."

Namgyu felt a shiver run through him: fear, revulsion... but also the inevitable attraction to someone who was giving himself completely to him.

“What if that fire consumes us too?”

“Then it will be ours. But I will never let them take you away from me again, like they did with Dae-ho.”

Silence enveloped them, barely broken by the storm outside. The confession had left scars in the air, but also an invisible thread of understanding: the certainty that, no matter how broken he was, Su-bong was willing to destroy his own world rather than lose him again.

The rain pounded the windows of the old room where he had been held captive since they captured him in the cabin. Outside, the hallways of the house seemed to burn with neon and smoke, but inside, everything was reduced to silence and bated breath. Namgyu couldn't get the image of Dae-ho's body out of his mind, slumped over, his eyes open but dull.

“You dare mention him when you let him die!” His voice rang out like a whip. “Dae-ho trusted you... and so did I.” Su-bong turned abruptly, as if each word pierced him.

“I didn't let him die!” Fury burned through his veins. “What the hell did you expect me to do? Save him and let you die? Allow my father to use you as another pawn in his games? I know he talked to you about your sister before, but I didn't think he would have brainwashed you so quickly.” Namgyu took a step back, feeling the weight of those words, but he did not lower his gaze.

“Dae-ho wasn't perfect, I know... but he was human. And you... you're not when you decide who lives and who doesn't.” Su-bong clenched his fists, and for a moment it looked like he was going to shout, but his voice dropped, rough, almost a whisper.

“I'm not human when it comes to you.”

Namgyu held his breath. There was something in the way he said it, something between confession and condemnation. Su-bong approached, threw the cigarette on the ground, and stamped it out violently.

“Do you know how I felt when I heard the gunshot and saw his body on the ground?” His gaze was dark, laden with unbearable weight. "I felt relief, Namgyu. Relief because I thought you were going to die and I wouldn't be able to protect you. Because I want you all to myself... even if that makes me a monster."

Silence fell like a tombstone. Namgyu wanted to scream at him, push him away, run away. But his legs wouldn't respond. He hated him... and at the same time, the emptiness in his chest seemed to fill only with Su-bong's voice.

“You can't say that to me,” Namgyu whispered, tears escaping from his eyes. “You can't drag me down to that hell with you.”

“Oh, honey, but you're already with me,” Su-bong replied, with dangerous calm. “From the first day you looked at me, there was no turning back.”

Namgyu closed his eyes, trembling. It was true. He didn't know when his life had become this web. And yet, when Su-bong reached out his hand, his body reacted before his mind did.

“I don't want to need you...” Namgyu murmured, resting his forehead on his chest. Su-bong hugged him tightly, as if letting go would mean losing everything.

“But you need me,” he said harshly. “And I need you. My Namsu, my love, my everything. I need you more than I would ever admit to anyone.”

The rain outside intensified, as if trying to drown out his words. Namgyu knew he was trapped, that anyone else in his place would run away without looking back. 

But he couldn't. Because he hated and loved him, because he was both victim and accomplice.

Su-bong kissed his hair, closing his eyes.

“Let me take care of everything. My father, his empire, whatever blood is necessary. Just stay by my side, Namgyu... don't leave me like everyone else.”

“I need you to leave and let me think,” Namgyu murmured in response. 

“As long as you need, darling, but I don't want to leave you.”

“Please, leave me alone, Su-bong,” he pleaded with tears in his eyes.

“But you hate being alone, baby.”

“I need it,” Namgyu insisted.

“You're going to leave me,” said Su-bong, taking his hands, “is that it? Are you going to leave me, Namgyu? Don't you love me anymore?”

“Su-bong, please go.”

“Okay, but I'll be back,” Su-bong warned, “and I'll take this with me just in case,” he took the pill bottle, “I don't want you to make a rash decision.”

Namgyu listened silently, his heart torn apart. He couldn't forgive him yet, but he also couldn't imagine breathing in a world without Su-bong.

Chapter Text

The room was dimly lit. Namgyu had been sitting on the edge of the mattress they had given him, which he assumed was his bed, for hours, staring at the floor, his fingers clenched against the crumpled sheets. He couldn't get the image out of his mind: Dae-ho collapsing, blood staining the floor, and Su-bong looking at him with terrifying calm... as if he had calculated everything from the beginning.

Damn it, his body was still in the room and it was starting to stink, something that apparently no one cared about. And it hurt him that none of the people who had known Dae-ho for so long, and for whom he had risked himself for years, had even considered giving him a proper funeral, or showing respect for his body. 

Namgyu had thought it couldn't hurt any more, but betrayal had a sharper edge than loss.

The door creaked open slowly. 

The sound of heavy footsteps filled the silence. 

It was Su-bong.

“I knew you'd come,” Namgyu muttered, without looking up. “You always come back, even though I shouldn't let you.”

Su-bong didn't respond immediately. He watched him from the doorway, his silhouette barely outlined by the light from the hallway. There was something strange about his face: not the usual mask of indifference, but a trace of weariness, of vulnerability.

“You don't have to listen to me...” he said at last, in a low voice. “But I need you to.” Namgyu laughed, a dry, humorless sound.

“Listen to you? After what you did? After you took away the only one who tried to help me without asking for anything in return?”

His voice broke, and suddenly, the mask of hatred cracked, revealing a trace of deeper pain. Su-bong saw it, and in that moment, he understood that Namgyu wasn't just angry... he was broken.

Su-bong took another step forward until he was standing in front of him. 

He didn't touch him. 

Not yet.

“Baby, I wanted to take this time to reflect, just like you, but when I see his body on the floor...” Su-bong's voice became grave, almost whispered, "I feel something I've never felt before. An emptiness... a fear. Not for him. For you . Because I thought you were going to hate me to the point of pushing me away." Namgyu stared at him, trembling.

“And yet... you did it?” Su-bong swallowed, looking away for just a moment.

“I did it because I don't know how to love any other way, Namgyu. Because everything I touch, I ruin, and yet... I can't leave you.”

A heavy silence filled the room. Namgyu felt like he couldn't breathe, like the walls were closing in on him. Part of him wanted to hit him, yell at him, kick him out forever. But the other part, the more dangerous part, understood him. And that part scared him more than the betrayal itself.

“You make me sick...” Namgyu whispered, putting a hand to his chest. “You make me sick, and yet I can't breathe when you're not here. What did you do to me, Su-bong?”

“The same thing you did to me.” Su-bong closed his eyes, and for the first time he didn't try to hide the trembling of his hands.

The distance between them closed, and something Namgyu never imagined happened: Su-bong fell to his knees in front of him, a gesture he would never have allowed anyone else to do.

“Namgyu, my love, please don't leave me... I will accept my father's legacy,” he said, his tone harsh and determined. "I will inherit what he wants to give me, even if I hate it. Do you know why? Because then I will have the power to protect you from him. Because if I don't, he will continue to stalk you and other people, anyone like Dae-ho or Hyun-ju."

Namgyu looked at him, his heart pounding. There was something tragic about those words, as if Su-bong were signing his own death warrant in the hope of saving Namgyu.

“What about me?” he asked, his voice a whisper. “What will be left of me after all this?” Su-bong looked up, his dark eyes shining with an almost frightening devotion.

“Whatever you want to be left. Whatever you decide to give me... even if it's hatred. I'd rather have your hatred than your silence.”

Namgyu closed his eyes for a moment, fighting the whirlwind inside him. He wanted to push it away, and at the same time, he wanted to sink into it. When he opened them again, he found Su-bong still kneeling, waiting, vulnerable for the first time.

And he hated him. 

He hated him because he knew he was going to forgive him.

Namgyu slumped against the wall of the room, his hands still trembling. His gaze was lost, fixed on a non-existent point. Su-bong crouched down in front of him, trying to find his eyes, but Namgyu turned his face away, as if he couldn't hold his gaze.

“Namgyu... I... you don't have to look at me like that.”

“How do you want me to look at you, Su-bong? I don't know what I am to you now...”

Silence hung heavy between them. Su-bong reached out his hand, but stopped before touching him, as if afraid that any contact might break him even more.

“You don't know what it was like... seeing my father... seeing him use you as if you were an object, a reminder of everything he took from me. I couldn't let him continue to have control over you. And Dae-ho... I know you don't understand. Sometimes I don't understand myself. But everything I do... I do it for you .”

Namgyu clenched his fists, closing his eyes tightly, struggling against the contradiction that was tearing him apart: repulsion and need, rejection and dependence.

“I hate what you did. I hate it so much that it hurts to breathe . But at the same time...” Namgyu finally looked at him, his eyes moist... “I don't know what I would do without you , Su-bong.”

Su-bong, hearing this, leaned closer, his forehead barely touching Namgyu's.

“Then stay with me, honey. Stay my Namsu. Let me bear your hatred, your fear, whatever... but don't leave me.”

Namgyu watched him silently, feeling that suffocating heat in his chest, a mixture of suffocation and relief. It was true: he hated him. But he was also the only presence that kept him standing, like a chain that imprisoned him and at the same time sustained him.

“I don't promise forgiveness... not yet.”

Su-bong smiled faintly, a broken smile, as his fingers finally dared to brush Namgyu's.

“I don't care about forgiveness. Just don't let go of me.”

Namgyu closed his eyes, letting himself be carried away by that contact that he knew would sink him further, but at the same time kept him alive. Amidst the chaos, pain, and betrayal, that dark intimacy became the only refuge they both had.

“You should hate me,” Su-bong murmured, his voice broken, not daring to look at him.

Namgyu stared at him for a long time, feeling the emptiness in his chest expand. And it was true: he should hate him. But the hatred did not come; instead, there was a strange, almost suffocating weight. 

A bond entangled in fear, pain, and... affection.

“I'm trying,” Namgyu whispered at last. “I really am. But when I think about what you've done, what you've hidden from me... Even so, I can't. I can't stop seeing you.”

Su-bong turned abruptly, as if those words had pierced the darkness. His eyes, red from held-back tears, searched desperately for Namgyu's.

“Don't leave me, Namgyu. If you hate me, do it close to me. If you curse me, do it looking me in the eyes. But don't walk away from me, please.” He leaned toward him, almost pleading. “I don't know who I am without you, honey.”

Silence fell between them again, but this time Namgyu didn't back away. He looked at him with a weariness that was also tenderness. He knew Su-bong was dangerous, he knew he could drag him into an abyss with him, and yet... there was something about him that kept him tied to him.

“Why?” he asked, his voice breaking. “Why are you doing all this, even though you know it's destroying me?”

“Because you're all I have left. And the only thing that makes me believe I can still be something more than my father's son,” Su-bong took a deep breath, as if the question was tearing him apart, and replied in a barely audible whisper. 

Namgyu closed his eyes. He felt the confession pierce him deep inside, so intimate that it was unbearable. He could run away, he could end it all right there... but his hands moved on their own, seeking Su-bong's. The contact was slight, uncertain, but enough to make Su-bong shudder.

The world seemed to be collapsing, but in that silent gesture there was a truce: a recognition of the mutual dependence that kept them together, even in the midst of betrayal.

Su-bong bowed his forehead until it rested against Namgyu's, closing his eyes with almost fierce relief.

“I don't need your forgiveness now... I just need you to stay here.”

Namgyu did not respond. His shaky breathing was the only answer, and in that shared vulnerability, intimacy became inevitable. The rain outside intensified, covering what happened next: two wounded shadows that, in their fragility, clung desperately to each other, seeking warmth where there were only ruins.

Namgyu was still trembling, the image of Dae-ho still etched in his eyes. The emptiness was devouring him, and yet the only thing left standing in front of him was Su-bong. 

That monster he hated, but also the only one he had left.

“I want to hate you...” Namgyu whispered, his voice broken, his eyes burning. “I want to hate you for what you did.” Su-bong did not back down. He approached with slow steps, breathing heavily, his bloodstained fists still trembling.

“I know. Hate me. If that's what you need to go on, do it. But don't leave me... don't leave me, Namgyu.”

Namgyu wanted to pull away, but when Su-bong wrapped his arms around him, his body collapsed against his. It was warmth, strength, security, and condemnation all at once. He pounded his chest in rage.

 “You took everything from me!” he cried between sobs.

 “And yet...” Su-bong's voice dropped, grave, broken, “you're still here.”

The silence between them was thick, suffocating. Namgyu, in the midst of despair, raised his face and sought his lips almost violently. It wasn't tenderness, it was hunger, pain, and need. Su-bong responded with the same intensity: she held him tightly by the back of his neck, sinking into the kiss as if her life depended on it.

Namgyu's hands trembled as he clung to his clothes, tearing them apart, as if he needed to rip away everything he hated and everything he loved about him at the same time. Su-bong cornered him against the wall, roughly, with the urgency of someone who feared losing him at any moment.

“You're mine and I'm yours,” Su-bong murmured against his mouth, panting, with an intensity that bordered on desperation. “It doesn't matter if you hate me, it doesn't matter if you curse me... I won't let anyone else touch you.”

Namgyu closed his eyes tightly, fighting the contradiction that was tearing him apart. He needed him, even though it hurt to admit it. His body responded before his mind, surrendering to Su-bong's burning heat, the touch of his hands, the weight of his obsession.

And in that desperate union, filled with rage and desire, Namgyu understood that his dependence was a chain as strong as hatred. A shared prison from which neither of them seemed to want to escape.