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Chapter Text

Hyunju POV:

"No point. What's the point now. This is my fault. I voted O. I could've saved her"

 

Those were the thoughts running inside my head as the platform spun. The force of it was quite strong so I felt like I could've fell over any minute, but frankly, I wouldn't even care if I did.

 

I didn't care for anything at this point.

 

"Two!"

 

I suddenly hear from the loud speaker. People all are frantically running around finding people to go with and running to get to their rooms.

 

I barely heard the number that was being called until I felt someone grab me.

 

"Let's go!"

 

I only had a second to look at who it was before he grabbed me.

 

246.

The man who has saved me and Youngmi the previous round.

 

Youngmi..

 

It happened so fast I didn't even realize I was running until we both went into a nearby bright orange room. 246 slammed the door behind us.

 

We both were out of breath, both from fear and exhaustion.

 

"Are you okay?" 246 asks.

 

I look up to him to see he's still holding the door shut.

 

I nod slightly. "Is the door not locking?" I ask

 

"No I just don't trust anything in this place. Even the locks."

 

I laugh. But it's only for a moment until my laughter is interrupted by gunshots and screaming. I panic and look back at the door expecting Youngmi, but she wasn't there.

 

246, still holding the door, tilts his head a little bit and squints his eyes. I know he knows. His expression says it all. That he could tell something's wrong, since I didn't flinch an inch last round with the gunshots and screams.

 

I realize tears are suddenly running down my face. I didn't even feel them at first. I gasp and turn around, awkwardly laughing.

 

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." I mutter "I just...."

 

He slowly lets go of the door and gives me a hug. I wasn't expecting it, but I hug back. It was a kind gesture from someone didn't even know that well.

 

"You two must've been close huh?" He asks gently.

 

"It felt like it. I don't know why. I've only known her for a few days.." I say trying to get the words out.

He pulls back and smiles, eyebrows coming together.

 

"She seemed like the type of person who someone would think of her that way."

 

I wipe my tears and sigh, leaning against the wall. I nod.

 

"Before coming here, I haven't met anyone who saw me like she did."

 

"How did she see you?"

 

I stay silent for a moment.

 

"She said I was…beautiful."

 

His face softens as he tilts his head.

 

"I think you're beautiful."

 

I sigh and shake my head, "I'm really not." I say quietly

 

He furrows his brows, making sort of a concentrating face.

 

"I'm serious." He says smiling, "That's the first thing I thought when I first looked at you."

 

I smile a little while letting out a little air from my nose. I look up and get a real glimpse of this man for the first time.

 

He was a beautiful man himself. Tall, with kind round eyes. A pretty smile, and clean looking hair. He really did look like a prince. I only felt worse after realizing that.

 

"Thank you." I say

 

"I meant it." He says while looking out the window again

 

Even if he didn't mean it, his words made me feel better. A lot better. It was rare when I didn't get weird looks in the grocery store, or even just walking down the street. It was even rarer when someone went out of their way to call me something I don't deserve to be called.

 

He turns back around.

 

"They're still cleaning" he says leaning back on the door.

 

I nod.

 

"I'm sorry." I say, thinking he wants to leave. "I feel like I'm just dumping my emotions on you."

 

He shakes his head right away.

 

"Never."

 

He sighs

 

"You know, I'm the same way. I know how you feel. I had actually talked a while in the main room with a man before the second game took place. Did you know player 183?"

 

I shake my head. He nods again.

 

"Kim Hanbin was his name. He needed the money because he got evicted and had a kid on the way."

 

I look down. He stays silent for a moment before shaking his head ever so slightly.

 

"I couldn't find him when we paired up for teams before the six legged game, but we found each other right before his team went. He was looking for me and wanted to wish me luck before we started.. and just 5 minutes later, he died. He died because none of his teammates knew how to play gonggi." He said softly.

 

I feel his stare at me even though I refused to look at him back, because I know I was going to start crying again if I did.

 

"I still miss him, even if I only knew him for a day." He says

 

I nod. I slowly look up at him and we lock eyes.

 

His eyes.

 

Something about them made me trust him right away.

 

I was about to ask for his name until it's been announced this game is over. He nods and unlocks the door as we walk out. I frantically look around to see if everyone had made it. I couldn't deal with another loss.

 

I did a sigh of relief before realizing they did.

-

Gyeongseok POV:

We walked out of the rooms after the intercom said we could.

 

I see the woman look around and reunite with her teammates. The grandma practically hugs her until she couldn't breathe anymore.

 

I walk over to them once again.

 

The grandma smiles at me and pulls me in for a hard hug too. I laugh as she pats my back.

 

"Aigoo, I was worried about you two." She said. She finally lets go and I laugh.

 

"Im glad both of you are safe." I say looking at the woman.

 

We start walking back down the stairs. Those awful stairs. We needed to get out of here. I made sure to stick to the people I knew since, they were all I had in here.

 

After a few minutes, we got back into the main room.

 

I stay put for a second looking at my bed, not wanting to go back to hanging out alone. I was about to see where the woman and the grandma were until I feel a tug on my left sleeve.

 

It was the grandma.

 

"Come join us", she says smiling brightly.

 

I smile too, "I"d love to, if that's alright with you."

 

"Nonsense!"

 

She starts dragging me over to the area of where her son and the woman are

 

I greet them and sit next to the woman.

 

"Introduce yourself" said the grandma.

 

I smile and look at her son and the woman "I'm Park Gyeongseok. I'm 36 years old." I say

 

The son smiles, "Not far off from me, I'm 32. I'm Yong-sik." He says

 

I nod "You can just call me hyung then."

 

"But we're not even close- OW!"

 

The grandma slapped her son on the back of his head.

 

"Accept the man's kind offer!" She said, crossing her arms.

 

The grandma introduces herself as Geum-ja, but of course I couldn't call her that.

 

The woman looks down, still clearly upset by the death of her friend. But she looks up a bit and manages to smile kindly.

 

"I'm..Cho Hyunju. 33." She says that in a soft voice. I love her voice. It's the deepest voice from a woman I've ever heard, but that's what I love about it.

 

I nod, "That's pretty. It suits you well."

 

I'm still looking at Hyunju, but in the corner of my eye, I see the grandma and Yong-sik give each other a quick glance. Did I say something weird? Am I staring at her too much?

 

I peel my eyes off of Hyunju for a moment and smile, "It's nice to meet you all."

 

For the next hour or so, we just all talked about each other. Well, mostly the grandma and Yong-sik. Hyunju was mostly just listening, but I didn't mind her company, even if she was just silent. We even had a little interaction from the shaman lady and her minions too. We ignored it.

 

I learned about their jobs, their family, their friends, and I told them about mine. It was nice just talking to someone in here again rather than fearing for your life in a game...

 

"Wah...." said the grandma after I had told her I was here for money for my kid.

 

"You're such an honorable man, it's a shame you wound up in here." she said sighing and shaking her head, "If I had a daughter, I'd want her to marry someone like you. How could your wife leave you?"

 

Her son then groans and shakes her arm, "Umma! You can't say stuff like that!" He says

 

"Why?! I'm saying he deserves better aren't I?"

 

"Yeah but still!"

 

I laugh, suddenly feeling at home. Yeah it was kinda of a weird thing to say, but she reminded me of my mother, and Yong-sik acted similarly to my brother.

 

Thinking about my family makes me miss my daughter. I sigh.

 

Hyunju gives a small smile whilst finally looking up and in my direction.

 

"You'll get used to this after a few hours."

 

I'm caught off by her beauty for a moment. The way the light hits her eyes make it looks like they're sparkling. Her bangs got obviously messed up from running from the last game, so they looked messy but that just made her look more charming. And her smile. Gosh her smile.

 

"Yeah..." I say, as it's all that manages to come out of my mouth.

 

My eyes are still glued to her even when she looks back down. I'm debating whether to talk to her again, or to leave her alone. But she probably doesn't want to talk this moment...ah poor Hyunju.

 

I suddenly snap out of it as I feel Yong-Sik's eyes burning into my face. I slowly turn my head to see him giving me a funny look.

 

He ever so slightly gestured his head towards Hyunju while raising an eyebrow.

 

In response, I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I think I had a dumb smile on my face though.

 

Before I could even think anything else, a few people walk out of the bathroom, covered in blood.

 

Everyone's head is turned towards them. The room is silent. And suddenly, the number of people on the screen goes down, and the amount of money goes up.

 

5 people died? What the heck happened in the bathroom? And now I know what everybody is thinking, "People who die even without the games still count for money.."

 

"I can't die. I need to get back to my daughter." I think to myself.

 

I look at Yong-sik, the grandma, and Hyunju. The only people I have in here.

 

"And I can't let these people die either."

Chapter Text

Hyunju POV:

 

I could see the O side from here. Planning something.

 

Gihun, the man who had won last games, is now explaining to a circle of us about what will happen during the night. That they will all try and attack us to get the X numbers down.

 

So he came up with a plan..

 

Why does this feel scarier than any of the games so far?.....

 

-

 

"Lights out in 3. 2. 1."

 

The room gets dark and everything becomes silent. I immediately try and look out for where everyone was. To make sure they're safe, but I couldn't see anything that well.

 

Some people were quietly hiding already but I needed to make sure. I'm not losing anybody else.

 

And as soon as I hear the first attack go on, I feel an arm tug me down to the floor.

 

"Hyunju! Get under here!"

 

It's Gyeongseok's voice

 

I quickly get next to him under the bed.

 

"If someone attacks, they'll have to get through both of us." He says quietly through the noise of stabs and screams. He grabs my wrist.

 

I nod, heart racing.

 

We feel an attack right above our bed. I can practically feel us both holding our breath.

 

After a few minutes, the pink guards rush in blasting their guns, stopping the fight.

 

Immediately, we both roll out and fake being dead. Just like Gihun had planned. And all at once, we attack and steal their guns.

 

These guards must've not been properly trained, since getting rid of the first set of pink guards wasn't hard with only a few people shooting.

 

Once all of the guards in the room were dead, Gihun gave us instructions on what to do next..

 

I prep my gun and strap it over my shoulder. And then I notice Gyeongseok.. shaking his gun? I realized this wouldn't work if half of the men couldn't shoot a gun properly...

 

-

Gyeongseok POV:

 

Am I stupid for not knowing how to use this? I've never used anything like this before.

 

Hyunju must've noticed me being absolutely hopeless because she went up front and taught everyone how to use it. It was simpler than I thought, and I see the other men following her lead.

 

How the heck did she know so much about this? This woman keeps surprising me. She walks back next to me, and I can't help but keep staring at her in absolute awe.

 

"How- do you know so much about guns?" I ask.

 

She smiles, "I...was a sergeant first class in the special forces."

 

Wow. She's literally perfect. What else could a person ask for?

 

Everyone gets prepped and ready to go. We open the door leading to the stairs, and we leave in a single file order. I don't look behind me...

 

-

Hyunju POV:

 

All of us are in a long hallway, shooting at the guards on the other side of the wall. I keep the talkie on speakerphone so that I can hear what Gihun and 001 are doing.

 

One by one, I notice our team running low on ammo.

 

"How much do you guys have left?!" I shout.

 

"Not much!"

 

"I'm almost out!"

 

I nod, "I'm going back to grab more! Cover me!"

 

Dae-ho speaks up, "Hyunju, I can do it!-"

 

"Stay there you twink!"

 

I know it wasn't a nice thing to say in the moment, but he was wasting all of his ammo because he wasn't shooting properly. I couldn't trust him completely for this task.

 

Another player speaks up. Player 031. He was a good shooter and didn't seem to have any fear.

 

"I can go grab more!"

 

"Okay! Follow the broken cameras!" I shout, "Everyone cover him!"

 

He runs off quickly and we continue to shoot out until we were almost out.

Gyeongseok turns to me after a while, “Hyunju! We're all out!"

 

Just then, 031 comes running back and tosses ammo to us.

 

"Perfect!" I say, as our team loads their guns with fresh ammo and continue to shoot.

 

All the guards seem to have been dead across from us because it suddenly got silent. I turn my head towards the men on our team who have died trying to save us. I give them a silent prayer.

 

I look up and see the people left are myself, Gyeongseok, 031, Daeho, and 063.

 

"Let's move!" I say.

 

Until suddenly I feel a shot go through my arm. I collapse to the ground.

 

I turn around and weakly point my gun trying to shoot, but the guard kicks it out of my hands. I look past the guard to see all other three men also shot, but in non fatal areas. This guard has got the best aim.

 

Player 063 tries firing at the guard but misses.

 

The guard looks around. "Go back to the main room. Now."

 

It's seems to be a woman's voice...

 

"Huh?" I ask.

 

She then grabs my arm. It hurts. I groan a little in pain.

 

"I'm shooting all of you dead if you don't go back." She says coldly, pointing the gun at me.

 

I look back at the three men. All on the floor, blood pouring out of them. What can we do now?...

 

She tells us to go ahead of her and grabs player 031. Us three are in front at she keeps a grip on him.

 

After a forever walk of pain and defeat, we get to the main room where the guard shoves us all to the ground and leaves without a trace..

 

-

 

What the heck.....

 

I'm still on the floor, but I'm now frozen in fear and shock.

 

Despite, my pain, I run over to the O side in horror.

 

A good amount of them are dead.

 

I whip my head around the room. I turn to the X side. "What happened here?!" I shout.

 

Yong-sik points a silent finger towards player 031, who's fully stood up now.

 

I walk over to player 031, "Did you do this when you went to get more ammo for us?" I ask firmly.

 

He groans loudly, tossing his gun to the floor. Is he insane?

 

"Of course I did!!!" He shouts.

 

"That crazy man's plan would've never worked! I knew that from the first second! Do you expect me to risk my life out there while these O's get to continue having their games played as they want?!"

 

He turns to the X side.

 

"Now we can get the money and go home! Just like we wanted it!" He shouts.

 

Then, we hear the elevator and we see Gihun getting dragged in the room by some guards. He looks absolutely devestated.

 

"Gihun-nim!" I say running towards him.

 

"Did you find the front man?"

 

He shakes his head.

 

"Where's the others?"

 

He doesn't answer. I don't even think he notices the pool of dead people on the O side.

 

"We failed." He says quietly.

 

I don't have a response for that. Because we did. We did fail.

 

"Why isn't anybody thanking me?!" Yells 031, "We failed but we still go home with the money we need! So you're welcome!"

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

I couldn't sleep as I sit on the edge of some stairs, away from anyone’s sight.

 

My mind has the same image of bodies and bodies blooded and dead right in front of my eyes. Not just today, but this whole time.

 

I'm wondering what will happen tomorrow now that some of the O people are gone. Even though a handful of them were killed, the votes will still be close.

 

I look over around the whole area, everyone sound asleep.

 

How could you properly sleep knowing you might die tomorrow?

 

My shoulder is still sore from the shot so it would hurt to lie down on it even if I wanted to get sleep.

 

I sigh and lean back on a railing trying to keep my mind straight.

 

"Gyeongseok-nim?" I hear someone whisper behind me.

 

I turn around and see Hyunju smiling a little at me.

 

I'm at a loss for words for a few moments. I probably look like an absolute idiot until I can finally straighten myself and act like a normal human being.

 

"You're still awake?" I whisper back.

 

"I can't sleep like this."

 

She sits right next to me, legs curled up together to her chest, head resting on her knees. It was cute whenever she did that.

 

"Is anyone else awake?" She asks looking around from the corner of the room.

 

I nod, "Gihun-nim. But I doubt he wants to talk."

 

"I don't doubt it at all." she laughs.

 

There's some tiny silence between us for a moment.

 

"Hyunju." I say, which makes her turn her head towards me.

 

"I don't know if we're going to win the votes tomorrow, but if we do, what are you gonna do when you get out?" I ask

 

She looks up at the money and back down at the floor, "I...want to move out of the country."

 

"Wow..." I say, "Where?"

 

"Thailand."

 

"Thailand?"

 

"It's been my goal for a few years."

 

"Do you know how to speak Thai?"

 

To this, she tilts her head at me with a sad look, "Barely. I have to work two jobs so I can afford rent. Things were hard ever since I got discharged from the special forces."

 

"I just don't understand how they can let go of someone like you. You have the most perfect aim I've ever seen."

 

She gets quiet and I see her face changing. Thinking for a moment.

 

"It's because of...."

 

I wait for her answer. I'm seeing her slightly opening her mouth as if she's trying to find the exact words to say.

 

"It's...because I wanted to be a woman."

 

I squint my eyes, not getting what she's saying.

 

"Wait." I say pausing for a moment, trying to understand, "I'm confused."

 

She looks at me like I'm dumb. An 'Are you stupid' face.

 

"Gyeongseok-nim..." she says

 

"Don't call me that anymore by the way" I say, "Gyeongseok is fine."

 

Silence.

 

"Gyeongseok, I'm...trans."

 

I stare at her for a second. Her expression looks like she's waiting for a reaction out of me. Is this thing she's talking about that bad?

 

"Im...not a woman biologically."

 

I nod slowly, "Ohh.."

 

I had kind of guessed it a while ago. Not that I was 100% sure, but just from the things she told me and how she's pretty much as tall as me made me think a little bit.

 

My thoughts are interrupted when I start laughing once I see Hyunju's terrified face.

 

"Well, I'm not gonna think of you different because of that. That's stupid. You're still just Hyunju to me."

 

She sighs.

 

"Was it that obvious?" she asks.

 

"Actually no. I wasn't even sure. The thought barely crossed my mind.”

 

She places her face on her knees, "I'm surprised you weren’t sure. People usually guess it pretty fast."

 

I shrug, "I don't know. All I know is that you're one of the coolest women I've ever met. Seriously." I say truthfully.

 

"Liar."

 

"I mean it."

 

She looks up at me and smiles. Her face seeming even more stunning with the golden light of the piggy bank up in the air striking the side of her face. For a second, I forget we're all on the brink of death.

 

For a second we're just looking in each other's eyes. I hope she doesn't notice I'm getting too lost in them.

 

"You're so beautiful." I whisper quietly.

 

She looks down, seeming a bit embarrassed.

 

I laugh.

 

I lean back on one of the steps and look up.

 

"So...what else are you going to do in Thailand?"

 

And so we talked that whole night after that.

 

I told her things I didn't tell Geum-ja or Yong-sik. Things about my daughter, my art, my dreams, plans for the future, and my mistakes in the past.

 

And we talked about her.

 

About her plans for Thailand, her surgeries, about her family, her hobbies, her neighborhood, things about her childhood. As she talked, I found myself absolutely admiring her.

 

Her life was tough, but here she was. An absolutely selfless person with such a big heart that everyone failed to protect.

 

She was in the middle of her telling me a funny story that happened at one her jobs. She was absolutely cracking up silently as to not wake anyone up, and that's what got me laughing too.

 

Even though I didn't understand half of the story since she couldn't get through it without giggling.

 

And as she keeps on talking, I realize something about myself.

 

I might be falling for this woman.

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

Something about him makes me so comfortable.

 

In the past few years, it's the first real time I've had a long good conversation with someone who was willing to talk and listen to me.

 

He looks at me with this look in his eyes that makes me feel like he's actually interested in what I'm saying.

 

It's a look I don't get very often.

 

A few hours pass of us just yapping with each other, but I don't even notice it's been so long.

 

"I think you should paint them green." he says.

 

We were talking about my nails.

 

I make a face "Green?! That's the worst color you could paint them. I thought you were an artist?"

 

"I paint faces, not nails!"

 

"Green is ALSO gonna remind me of this place, which is something I don't want to remember."

 

"What's green in here?" He asks

 

I grab my tracksuit.

 

"Oh. right." He says grinning, scratching his head.

 

Oh my goodness. He's so freaking stupid.

 

"You might be color blind." I say jokingly.

 

"I just might be."

 

I playfully pretend to punch him and we both share a quiet laugh.

 

I sigh. I haven't had this much fun this entire time I was here.

 

I get quiet, my thoughts suddenly being flooded with sadness. I look over on the O side.

 

"Gyeongseok..." I say,

 

"No matter what happened to us..."

 

His smile softly fades away, "We'll get out." But his voice reveals a bit of uncertainty.

 

I sigh, trying to look directly in his eyes.

 

"But...even if we don't, just know that it's been really great meeting you, and everyone else here. I didn't ever know the best people I would meet would be in a children's game murder prison."

 

He nods.

 

"Im glad I came here." He pauses and laughs, "Wait a second. Sorry, that sounds absolutely insane."

 

"I know what you mean."

 

It gets quiet for a second.

 

"W-what I meant was.." he stutters, which makes me kinda laugh,

 

"It was worth it to come here. I got to meet you."

 

I bite my bottom lip and laugh,

 

"Woah there, I'm not that great."

 

He smiles and looks at me like I'm some kind of precious stone.

 

He moves a little closer, gently moving a piece of my hair away from my face. His hand slowly moves to my cheek. My heart starts to race a little bit.

 

Wait a second.

 

Is he gonna kiss me?

 

I see him staring at my lips, hesitating.

 

I'm not usually someone who would be confident enough to make a move, especially for someone I've only known a few days.

 

But we need to do this. Just in case I never see him again.

 

I lean in all the way, closing the distance between us.

 

The kiss is soft and light. Our lips brushing lightly against each other.

 

Gyeongseok's hand stays on my cheek and my hand moves to his chest. I feel his heartbeat racing through his tracksuit.

 

I pull him a little closer, being careful to not touch his wounded shoulder.

 

We pull away after a few seconds.

 

Through my slightly blurry vision, I can see Gyeongseok looking absolutely breathless.

 

I'm thinking about kissing him again but he looks like he's on the verge of passing out, so I just laugh,

 

"Are...you okay?"

 

He smiles and pulls me in for a tight hug. I don't even feel the pain in my arm anymore.

 

"I'm making sure we're gonna live Cho Hyunju. No matter what."

 

And even against the million reasons we could both be dead tomorrow, in this exact moment, I completely believe him.

 

-

 

Gyeongseok POV:

 

"Hyung? Hyunju?"

 

I open my eyes, and see Yong-sik looking down at me, the terrible trumpet music in the background.

 

It seems to wake up Hyunju too, who looked to be resting on my shoulder before she woke up.

 

It seemed we might've dozed off for a little bit before morning.

 

We both stand up.

 

"I-I'm going to check on Gihun." said Hyunju, obviously trying to avoid Yong-sik's questions.

 

I sigh.

 

Yong-sik crosses his arms, "Were you guys up all night together?"

 

"We couldn't sleep Yong-sik." I say rubbing my eyes, sitting back down.

 

"What were you two doing?"

 

"We were just talking!"

 

"About what?"

 

"Just about...like...stuff."

 

"Hyuuuuuuung!"

 

Yong-sik's basically whining at this point. Reminds me of Nayeon.

 

"Yong-sik, stop that. You're being loud."

 

"What happened between you two last night?"

 

"Nothing!"

 

"Did you tell her you like her?"

 

I widen my eyes in surprise, "How would you know I like her?"

 

"So you do?"

 

I tried to say something but just a stutter of words come out.

 

Shoot.

 

I sigh in defeat and brace myself, while he has the widest grin I've ever seen on someone's face. He claps his hands excitedly.

 

"You know, I called this. From the VERY. FIRST. DAY, I KNEW something was going on between you two! You guys would always sit next to each other and stuff and you'd stare at her and start talking nonsense whenever she looked at you back! Oh my goodness! I was talking about this with my mom and she was like 'Gyeongseok's not going for the trans girl'. But look what happened now-"

 

He stops for a moment and lowers his voice. He sits right beside me and looks around like he's gonna tell, a secret.

 

"You...do know she's trans right?" He says quietly

 

I close my eyes, my head pointing up.

 

Can a pink guard come in and shoot me in the head right now? It's the one time I need it.

 

I sigh a long sigh, "Yes Yong-sik. I know."

 

And in a second, his smile reappears. He pumps his fists,

 

"Perfect! Then you two are gonna be PERFECT!"

 

He's practically giggling and kicking his feet at the revelation,

 

"Hyung, you have no friends right? Then can I be your best man?"

 

I scoff half offended half laughing, "Ouch." I say

 

I pause.

 

"Wait, best man?"

 

"For your wedding!"

 

"Aigoo..."

 

I groan and start walking away, rubbing my eyes and hoping he doesn't ask anymore questions. He runs up just as I expected and continues nagging me.

 

"Yong-sik, I think we have bigger things to worry about right now." I say pointing to the voting screen,

 

"What if we don't even make it out today?" I say.

 

He sighs, "Fine, we'll discuss the wedding after voting then."

 

I look over to where Hyunju was.

 

She was with Geum-ja and two other people who I'm not familiar with, a short girl who seemed to be pregnant, and a man with a ponytail, who I actually sorta knew since we were in the shooting team together yesterday.

 

It seemed like they were huddled around the pregnant girl.

 

She probably wasn't feeling well. It's terrible to be in this place without even carrying a baby.

 

Suddenly we hear a buzz.

 

It was the elevator, and we see the red masked men come in.

 

"Good morning everyone. Please gather yourselves up and get ready. We want no interruptions this time. Anyone who tries to pull anything funny will get eliminated. It's time for the voting."

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

As soon as they announced voting would start, I immediately walk up to where Gihun was.

 

He was completely disoriented, but we need every single X we can get.

 

I kneel, down beside him,

"Gihun-nim, please. Please listen to me. I know our plan failed but this is our chance to leave. You need to vote X when your turn comes okay? We need to leave...please." I beg.

 

"120, please back away. No interference with the votings allowed." The square pink guard says.

 

I stand up, "How will Gihun-nim vote if he's handcuffed to the bed?" I ask

 

"He can say either X or O when his turn comes."

 

I gulp, walking away from where we was. He wasn't moving.

 

"Great." I think to myself.

 

I look around at everyone trying to see which side had the majority, but we were all in one group. I should've countered them yesterday.

 

My eyes meet Gyeongseok's and he gives me a smile and a nod, trying to look hopeful. I nod back and look back at the screen as the guards pull out the table for the buttons.

 

I make a quick prayer in my head.

 

No matter what, we need to win this.

 

-

 

It's almost the end.

 

29 for O. And 29 for X.

 

A tie.

 

There are only three people left to vote.

 

Player 428, Player 439, and Gihun.

 

My heart sinks. We lost already.

 

Gihun hasn't spoken for hours, and both people were wearing O patches.

 

That would make it 31 and 29.

 

My gosh. If player 031 was going to kill the O side anyways, why didn't he kill more?

 

“Player 428." They call out.

 

We already lost. What am I supposed to do now? I feel completely defeated and angry. Angry at myself.

 

If I had voted X from the FIRST vote that we had, everyone would already be out. Young-mi would still be alive, and so would Gyeongseok's friend Hanbin. We would've already had dinner at Geum-ja's and I would've been back at work.

 

Gosh I hated work, but I would do absolutely anything to be there right now.

 

I turn to Gyeongseok who was standing right next to me, his sad expression practically matching mine. Without looking, he grabs my hand gently and softly rubs his thumb against my fingers.

 

I sigh a deep breath I was apparently holding.

 

A light buzz sound effect comes on when player 428 votes.

 

O. There's a loud cheer from the O side.

 

It's now 30 for O and 29 for X.

 

I look down, thinking nothing but "it's over."

 

"Player 439."

 

A few seconds pass as she walks by. She walks up to the podium and stands there for a while. It feels like eternity.

 

Then I hear a buzz.

 

Wait a second.

 

That's not the O buzz.

 

I hear people cheering on our side before it even occurs to me what happened.

 

"We're getting out! We're getting out!" I hear people saying around me.

 

Could we really be leaving?

 

It's now 30 for O, and 30 for X.

 

The cheering dies down once the pink guard speaks up,

 

"456."

Gihun remains silent and still.

 

"Sir please speak up!" says Geum-ja, who was right in front of me. When we wasn't answering, she turns back around to look at me, completely horrified.

 

My heart start racing fast, which I didn't know was possible.

 

"You're already an X! Just vote that again!" says someone else.

 

"He's not speaking! Just skip him!" I hear from the O side.

 

"If you fail to say your vote, we will have to pass your turn." says the square guard.

 

Now people around the X team start yelling at Gihun to vote, while the O team is screaming for the guards to pass him.

 

Suddenly, the guard fires a bullet in the air.

 

Everyone flinches and ducks for safety.

 

"No more interruptions will be allowed during the process of this voting."

 

It's silent.

 

"456, your vote will be skipped if you don't answer in 3, 2-"

 

"X."

Everyone turns their head to Gihun, still completely silent. I look up at the big screen.

 

30 for O and 31 for X.

 

I feel like my eyes are deceiving me.

 

Everyone on our side erupts into cheers, crying and hugging each other. My ears are ringing from how loud it is in this room. But how could I care for a second about that.

 

We did it.

 

We're going home.

 

I'm going home.

 

All of us are finally going home.

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

"OUCH!"

 

Someone (assuming it's a guard) had just thrown me out of a vehicle and onto the hard ground.

 

I hear the truck quickly drive away, and I feel ropes around my feet and hands.

 

I groan in pain from my shoulder hitting the ground. It hears like someone got thrown out with me.

 

I violently shake off my blindfold to see Yongsik next to me. He's completely freaking out.

 

"Yong-sik! It's me Gyeongseok! Shake your blindfold off."

 

"Hyung!" He says and shakes it off. He cries out in fear. "Where's my mom?" He says looking out.

 

"Umma!"

 

Nothing.

 

He starts crying again. I just angrily sigh and scoot closer to him.

 

"Untie me." I say holding out my arms and legs.

 

He turns his head away quickly "Wait you're not decent!"

 

"Yong-sik!"

 

He finally reluctantly unties my ropes around my arms and legs with his teeth. I slip out and untie him as well.

 

As I grab my clothes to put on, my phone falls out. I realize I got a million calls and texts from the hospital. I mutter a curse to myself and stand up, putting my shirt on carefully, as to not hurt my shoulder any more than it does.

 

I call the hospital as Yongsik changes. I almost break down on the spot when they tell me Nayeon is alright.

 

"If you get here now, you can come see her. She's not doing well, but she's still breathing." They tell me.

 

"I'll be right there. Thank you so much. Thank you, Thank you." I say and hang up.

 

I turn around as I spot Yong-sik almost leaping out of joy once he realizes his phone is on the floor. He frantically dials his mother. It rings for a minute until it stops.

 

"Umma! Where are you!..... I don't know.... I can check.....This is so messed up, why would they separate us?!......I'm with Gyeongseok hyung......Okay......We'll be there.....I don't know!....Okay...hopefully......Alright......Okay bye."

 

I turn to Yong-sik, "Was that your mom? What did she say?"

 

He pushes up his glasses and sighs, putting his hands in his pockets,

 

"They're in Bongcheon. That's where we live. We're about twenty minutes away from there."

 

I nod, "Twenty minutes away from Bongcheon? That's not that far away from where I live. I'll take a bus with you there and take a taxi after."

 

We both stop when we hear a buzz from our phones at the same time. And almost in perfect unison, we look.

 

My eyes widen and I'm at a loss for words.

 

639 million won.

 

I turn to Yong-sik who looks at me. Our expressions are so similar it's like looking in the mirror.

 

"I-totally forgot about the money..." I say quietly.

 

"I didn't." said Yong-sik, "But it doesn't feel real seeing it. I was sure they weren't gonna give it to us once we got out."

 

But all I can think of right now is Nayeon. I'll be able to pay for her treatment with this, and pay off my debt. And more.

 

I can finally give her a better life.

 

Yong-sik's phone starts blowing up with texts from his mom but I have no time to waste. I need to get to Nayeon.

 

"We should go." I say gesturing for him to follow me.

 

We start kinda fast walking, looking for the nearest bus stop.

 

I keep my eyes open for one as Yong-sik keeps texting his mom. I hear him snort.

 

"Is....everything alright?" I say turning to him.

 

"My mom just sent a picture to me of them two. I'll send it to you."

 

I furrow my brows, "Wait. Who else?"

 

"What do you mean who else?"

 

"She's with someone?'"

 

"Ah." Yong-sik smiles a little, "Hyunju's with her. She's staying with my mom until we come."

 

"Ohh okay."

 

I try to make my face as casual as possible, to not appear as if that's the exact answer I wanted.

 

Yongsik grins, "Speaking of which..."

 

"There!" I say pointing to a bus station across from us. I said it louder than I expected, nervously hoping he'd forget about anything he was planning to talk about.

 

We walk across the street, and don't have to wait long until the bus comes and picks us up.

 

During the ride, Yong-sik continued texting his mom, giving her updates on how many minutes were left of the ride.

 

I nervously bounce my leg up and down, wondering if Nayeon is alright, despite what the hospital said. It's been a whole four days. Four days where I wasn't by Nayeons side.

 

I feel like the worst father in this moment.

 

Lost in my thoughts, I feel Yong-sik tapping me.

 

"Hyung, we're here."

 

We get up quickly, and step out of the busy bus, seeing Hyunju and Geum-ja waiting there for us.

 

I have never seen Geum-ja's eyes so bright until she laid eyes on her son. She grabs him in for the biggest hug I've seen anyone give, crying and smiling as she scolds him for scaring her,

 

"I was tied up and I was looking for you, ah my son. You're alive! I was so worried about you because you didn't text me back right away. Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you're okay."

 

"Mom, I'm okay, I'm right here." Yong-sik says, tryin to calm her down.

 

I laugh at the two and notice Hyunju quietly sitting on the bench they were waiting for us on. She stands up and walks over to where I am.

 

I smile, "Hyunju!"

 

I pull her in for a tight hug. Maybe a little too tight since she starts laughing.

 

"My arm Gyeongseok." she says.

 

I immediately pull away and check her arm, "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. I forgot it's shot." I say.

 

She gives me a look as to say, "it's okay."

 

Gosh if Yong-sik and Geum-ja weren't here, I would already have kissed her again by now.

 

"I'm glad you all are aright." Hyunju says turning to them both.

 

Geum-ja grabs her hands, "Thank you Hyunjuya, you two should get home quickly and get some good rest, okay?"

 

Hyunju nods but then turns to look at me, "But you should get going to the hospital."

 

"Why?" Asks Geum-ja, "Oh! It's for your daughter right?"

 

I nod and check my phone, "I should probably go right now, I called the hospital and they said I can visit." I say.

 

I turn to Hyunju and open my mouth.

 

I'm gonna say something stupid aren't I.

 

"You should come with me. To um...get your arm treated." I say.

 

She tilts her head, "Is that alright with you?"

 

"Of course it's alright with him." I hear Yong-sik mutter. I try and give him a glare, but his eyes are focused on his phone.

 

Geum-ja, seemingly oblivious to what's going on, walks over to us and hugs us, "We'll let you go now, but let's meet up again. I gave Hyunju, me and Yong-sik's number anytime you need us okay?"

 

"Thank you Halmoni." We both say.

 

We say our goodbyes and watch them leave as we wait for a taxi to come our way.

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

We watch and wave until Yong-sik and Geum-ja are out of view.

 

I turn my head to face Gyeongseok,

 

"Did you.... get the money?" I ask.

 

He turns his attention from the street to me, still holding up his arm for a taxi.

 

"I uh- I did. I can't believe it."

 

"Me neither. You can finally tell the doctor you suddenly got rich and pay for Nayeon's treatment."

 

He laughs, "They're gonna think I stole 600 million."

 

"Money is money."

 

He snorts at this, "And are....you gonna go to Thailand?"

 

I think for a moment, "As soon as I can. I don’t know if that’s gonna be anytime soon though."

 

.

A taxi pulls up in front of us and we both get inside.

 

"To the Asan medical center please." He says as he pays the driver 10,000 won. The driver nods without a word and starts driving away.

 

Gyeongseok sighs, leaning his head back, "Gosh I hope Nayeon's okay."

 

I grab his hand, "She will be. She's a strong girl from what I heard."

 

A few moments pass and I remember something,

 

"Oh um..Halmoni and Yong-sik wanted your number. They already made a group chat. I'll add you."

 

After a few minutes, we finally get to our destination. We both get out the car and give the driver a quick thanks, sprinting to the front door.

 

Gyeongseok almost trips running to the front desk, which makes me laugh.

 

She seems to know who he is because they only exchange a few words before she gives him a room to visit.

 

He turns back around and gives me a nervous smile and a wave before running down the hallway. I wave to him back while walking to the front desk too.

 

She smiles at me, "Are you with him?"

 

I shake my head, "Oh no, we're friends, he came to visit his daughter and I...."

 

I lift up my sleeve, revealing my shot arm, "I just probably need painkillers. It's been a few days so it doesn't hurt as much as it did." I say wincing.

 

Her eyes widen at the sight of my arm, "Yes, of course. I can get something for you. Which pharmacy do you go to?"

 

"Namdaemun."

 

She starts typing on her computer for a few minutes. After a little while, she prints out a piece of paper and hands it to me,

 

"Take this and get the rest of your details at the pharmacy."

 

"Thank you so much."

 

I look around for which room he could be in and find a little waiting area that's completely empty.

 

While waiting, I'm just on my phone. I sigh while reading angry texts from both of my bosses. But I guess it doesn't matter at this point. I have no explanation for them, but I write an apology anyways.

 

I see Gyeongseok walking towards me a few minutes later.

 

I stand up, "How'd it go?"

 

Without a word, he pulls in me for a tight hug. I sigh, bringing him in closer.

 

"Is she alright?" I ask

 

"She's....managing. She's sleeping right now so I couldn't talk to her. But I paid for her treatment so they're starting it right away. This is gonna be so hard, and I still have work and..."

 

He sighs, "I'm sorry..you don't need to hear this."

 

"You can talk to me. I promise." I say rubbing his back

 

I pull back and try and give him the most reassuring look I can, "You're a great father."

 

He scoffs, rubbing his eyes, "Great fathers don't leave their cancer kid alone."

 

"You we're trying to help her." I say, "And because of it, now you got the money to pay for the treatments right? Nayeon's gonna do great."

 

"...Thank you."

 

He looks up at me for the first time this conversation.

 

"You look pretty. I didn't tell you that yet."

 

I quietly laugh, "I look better without the blood right?"

 

"Oh right...speaking of..blood. How's your arm?"

 

"I got a prescription for some painkillers. You probably should get one too right now for your shoulder."

 

"You're right. I'll do that now." He says giving me a smile before walking away, "I'll be quick!"

 

"I'll be here!" I say back.

 

I lean back against the wall, on my phone again, trying to catch up from texts and emails.

 

Geum-ja sent a few messages asking me if we were okay, which I responded to quickly. In the corner of my eye, I notice a man pacing up and down the hall, which I try not to look just in case he's going through something.

 

But he suddenly stops and I hear a familiar voice.

 

"Hyunju-sshi?"

 

I look up and my jaw drops,

 

"Dae-ho??"

 

His smile widens, "It is you!"

 

I smile back, "Oh my gosh! What are you doing here?"

 

He puts his hands on his hips and exhales, his cheeks ballooning as he breathes out.

 

"Me and Junhee got dropped off together nearby here, and the second we got untied, her water broke so we rushed here." He says rubbing his eyes.

 

"Wait, Junhee's here? Her water broke?! WAIT SHE GAVE BIRTH??"

 

He nods excitedly, "The baby is absolutely adorable! Do you wanna come see? Junhee was kinda snapping at me but I think she needs a woman who understands her women...stuff to be with her."

 

My heart sinks.

 

Of course I want to see Junhee, but how am I supposed to understand or be there for her when I in fact don't understand or experience half of the things women go through, but I find myself nodding and he leads me to their room.

 

He opens the door cautiously and I hear Junhee's voice

 

"Daeho? Is that you?" She asks

 

He pokes his head in and we both walk in, "We have a visitor." He says

 

The moment Junhee's eyes meet mine, she beams and gasps,

 

"Unnie!"

 

"Junhee-ya!" I say smiling, walking over slowly.

 

Junhee looks absolutely exhausted. She's sweating and tired but she still looks happy to see me. She's holding her baby, who's quietly crying in her arms.

 

I walk over and give Junhee a light hug and sit down on the chair next to her.

 

"Oh my goodness, how do you feel?" I ask

 

She closes her eyes, "I'm completely wiped out."

 

"I would think so. I'm glad you made it here on time. Daeho said your water broke almost immediately after."

 

She nods, "I could barely walk but yeah, we made it."

 

She looks down at her crying baby and I stare at them for a while. It's such a beautiful thing to see. I've never seen Junhee look at anyone the way she looks at her daughter.

 

Daeho smiles, "I'm trying to convince Junhee to let me name her."

 

Junhee scowls at him, "You're not! Because you're gonna name her something stupid!"

 

"No I'm not!"

 

"You suggested the name Vegeta!"

 

"Who by the way is one of Dragon Ball's most powerful beings!"

 

"Daeho! He's not real!"

 

I laugh at these two. I've seen Junhee and Daeho mostly around each other during the games, so I'm glad Daeho was able to be here for her.

 

"ANYWAYS." Junhee says, turning to me, "Why are you here Unnie? Are you hurt?"

 

I pull up my sleeve, "I got shot so I came here to get a prescription."

 

Junhee winces, "Oh gosh...that looks bad."

 

"I'll be fine." I say pulling my sleeve back down

 

"Make sure to rest."

 

"I will thank y- Wait didn't you get shot too?" I turn to Daeho

 

He shakes his head, "The guard shooting missed me. I guess she didn't see me at first, so I just pretended my shoulder was hurt until we got to the room."

 

My jaw drops, "Wow...that's pretty smart."

 

He crosses his arms, "So are you gonna apologize for calling me a twink?"

 

Junhee cracks up at this, "She did?!"

 

"Hyunju called me that when we were shooting!"

 

"Because you weren't even aiming properly!"

 

Daeho huffs and looks away as I sigh.

 

Junhee's still giggling as she looks at me again, "Unnie, who did you get dropped off with?"

 

"Oh, I got dropped off with Halmoni." Junhee lights up at the mention of her.

 

I pull out my phone, "I have their numbers, I'm sure everyone will be delighted to hear from you guys. I have Yong-sik, Geum-ja, and Gyeongseok, which...he's actually here right now.

 

Daeho leans forward, "Wait, Gyeongseok's here?"

 

"Who's that?" Junhee asks.

 

"He was one of the people who helped in the rebellion thing. He was close with Hyunju I think. He's tan, pretty tall too." Daeho says.

 

"Ohhhh him?" Junhee said, "I think I remember him."

 

Daeho smiles, "Is he allowed to visit?"

 

Junhee thinks, "Yeah sure, but I don't want any more men in here. Two's enough."

 

I pause at her words

 

Two's enough.

 

It's enough to almost bring tears to my eyes.

 

"I'll..ill go get him." I say standing up and walking out the door.

 

I walk out and into the room I was waiting in before and see him sitting on one of the chairs.

 

"Gyeongseok." I say helping him up.

 

"Oh my gosh! There you are!" He stands up, "For a second I thought you left without me."

 

"I didn't, I mean...I wasn't planning to but guess who I saw."

 

I pull him into the room with Junhee and Daeho.

 

His eyes widen and the smile on his face doubles, "It's you guys!" He says.

 

He walks over to Daeho and gives him a hug and over to Junhee where he also hugs her.

 

"Oh my gosh you gave birth?! Congrats! How are you two?"

 

And we all talk. Simply just the act of talking shouldn't feel this way to me. It feels so...genuine and like I'm at home. Even if we all met in the most horrible place, I'm in a room of people who appreciate me and talk to me like I'm actually..somebody. It feels stupid, but I feel so grateful in this moment.

 

After a while, Junhee gets frustrated again with all the noise and so does her baby who's crying louder, so all of us got kicked out of the room.

 

"We should get going anyways...Do you know if she's gonna be here tomorrow?" I ask

 

Daeho nods, "I think she'll stay for at least one more day. She asked me to stay the night for her but I gotta be quiet."

 

I nod, "Okay perfect. It was nice to see you again Daeho. And Junhee as well. We'll text."

 

We say our goodbyes and now, and Daeho heads back into the room. I laugh as he practically crawls in trying to make as little noise as possible.

 

Now, it's just me and Gyeongseok in the little waiting area.

 

I turn to face him, "Are you staying the night as well?"

 

He looks down, "I don't think I can be apart from Nayeon for another day. And i guess it's okay since I don't even know if I can go back to my job after disappearing. My boss didn't text me back yet. I'm gonna be a jobless dad."

 

He groans.

 

"I'm a terrible father." He says

 

"No you are not. You love Nayeon to bits and pieces. She knows that."

 

"I wish I could just be...more than that though. Nayeon deserves so much more. A dad whose stable in everything he does, and...a mom who didn't walk out her life once she found out Nayeon had cancer... I just...."

 

"Gyeongseok. You paid for the treatment. Nayeon is going to heal. And even if you don't get your job back, the rest of the money will keep you more than steady until you find something else. And she has you. A wonderful, kindhearted father. You have each other."

 

He looks at me again. With those eyes and that look.

 

"Thank you Hyunju.."

 

I don't know what it is about the particular look he does. Something about his big brown eyes and slightly parted lips makes him look really...handsome.

 

We stay there for a moment.

 

I feel him softly grabbing my hands and walking forward until I'm pressed up gently against the wall behind me.

 

He cups his hand around my face, “Can I?” he whispers.

 

The second I nod, he presses his lips on mine.

 

This feels different than the first kiss we had. That one was soft and careful, this one felt a little different. More passionate I'd say.

 

And longer too.

 

I don't even know how we got here, but here we are.

 

My hands find their way to his neck and I pull him closer. He responds by bringing me closer by my waist. I swear I can hear my own heartbeat pounding. Or is that his? Maybe a mix of both.

 

We pull away, both slightly out of breath.

 

"I....I should get going." I say backing away.

 

He nods, "Okay, I'll walk you out."

 

We both walk out as I call for taxi. An awkward silence filling the air..

 

Once one pulls up right in front of us, Gyeongseok hugs me goodbye,

 

"I'll see you soon?"

 

I hug him back,

 

"Of course."

 

I get in the taxi and shut the door,

 

"To Gwangmyeong please." I say.

 

And as we drive off, I'm left with so much to think about.

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

I watch as her taxi drives away.

 

I try and push off this feeling. This feeling that I might've done something wrong.

 

She looked a little like she maybe didn't like that I kissed her a second time even if she said I could.

 

I'm overthinking it a lot because...

 

Because to be honest, I do like her.

 

A lot.

 

I like everything about her. I love how she looks, how she acts, and I wanted nothing but to know her more and figure out who she was.

 

Maybe she didn't feel that way about me. Who am I kidding, obviously she doesn't. I freaking messed up.

 

I open the door and walk back inside, stressed out about everything that happened in the past few minutes.

 

I quietly walk down the hall and into Nayeon's room.

 

I look over at her peacefully sleeping. I'm never leaving her alone ever again.

 

I sit down on a chair and open my phone to see a few texts from everyone.

 

Inbox:

Daeho: (1) Goodnight Hyung! Junhee asked to to see you and Hyunju again soon, if you can, stop by whenever! We'll be here for a few days

Junhee: (0)

Geum-ja: (1) Goodnight!!!! And rest well!! And take care of your daughter!!💗

Yong-sik: (2) [1 photo]

Hyunju: (0)

Daeho, Junhee, Geum-ja +2 more: (7) Geum-ja: You should all come over for dinner at our house!!! It'll be fun!!

 

-

 

I smile when I open my texts.

 

It's like I have a whole group of people who I love and don't have to act any certain way in front of.

 

We did play childhood games together on the brink of death after all.

 

I do get a little saddened as I don't see any texts from Hyunju.

 

I sigh. Did I make things awkward between us?

 

The thing is, I've never been good at relationships. Any kind. Family, friends, partners, co workers...

 

The romantic ones are the hardest though. Heck I couldn't even get my own ex wife to stay with me.

 

But how could I beg her to stay?

 

Right before she left me and Nayeon, all she did was yell.

 

Yell about how we were a mistake.

 

Yell about how we caused too much stress in her life and that she couldn't deal with us anymore.

 

Nayeon was only three months old at the time. And I wasn't let her have someone like that in her life.

 

So I let her leave.

 

It's been around 4 years since then. I never knew I could fall in love again until I saw Hyunju. Something about her was so.... I don't even know exactly was it was, but all I know is I fell for her during some point in those games.

 

And even now, when she's not here, I'm thinking of her.

 

I start responding to the messages,

 

To Daeho: Of course! I'm like 99% sure I'm fired from my job so I'll be here all day whenever you wanna see me

To Geum-ja: Thank you so much! Goodnight

To Junhee: Congrats again! Is it alright if I visit you two tomorrow?

-

I see that Yong-sik texted me a photo and a message

 

Yong-sik: HYUNG!! LETS MEET UP SOON OKAY??

 

I laugh instantly. I click on the picture see sent along with the message.

 

It's the picture of Geum-ja and Hyunju when they were waiting on the bench for us to arrive. Geum-ja was taking it so it was a little blurry, but I can still see Hyunju's shy but undeniably beautiful smile very clearly.

 

Hyunju mentioned during our talk that she didn't like taking pictures of herself ever since her transition. But I just can't help but wonder why when you look this pretty.

 

To Yong-sik: Okay okay, we will don't worry!

 

I end up just hearting the photo, trying to be nonchalant about it like I'm not gonna stare at it for the next thirty minutes.

 

I look at the clock.

 

12:30 am.

 

It is getting pretty late, but I guess I'm not going to work tomorrow..

 

I stand up from the chair and stretch quietly as to not wake up Nayeon and carefully walk to the bathroom.

 

Once I'm done cleaning up, I lie down next to her, trying to fall asleep...

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

I'm back at my apartment and open the door.

 

It's the first time I've actually felt so happy to be here. Everything looked so familiar and different at the same time.

 

The same black couch, the same small kitchen, the same rug I leave my shoes on before walking in.

 

But it feels so different. Like I'm seeing it all for the first time again.

 

Gosh that place messed all of us up.

 

I take my shoes off and walk straight into the bathroom. I need to wash off 4 days of grime off of me.

 

I take the longest shower of my life.

 

Once I'm out and changed, I walk into my bedroom. I want to cry knowing I'm not sleeping on a bunk bed that I could get attacked on at any time.

 

I sit down on the side of my bed and turn on my lamp, reading the texts received from everybody.

 

Inbox:

Daeho: (1) Goodnight hyunju! Also, Junhee wants to see you again, are you able to stop by soon?

Junhee: (1) Goodnight Unnie! Feel better and please visit me soon <33

Geum-ja: (1) LOVE YOUUUU GOODNIGHT!!! Arrive home safe!!!💗💗

Yong-sik: (0)

Gyeongseok: (0)

Daeho, Junhee, Geum-ja +2 more: (7) Geum-ja: You should all come over for dinner at our house!!! It'll be fun!!

 

I smile. I love these people so much.

 

At least something good came out of those games. I guess something about death bonds people together.

 

I put my phone down on the table next to my bed, not wanting to respond right away. I need to gather my thoughts first.

 

There are so many things to figure out.

 

When am I going to Thailand? Does Junhee need help with the baby? Where is Gihun and is he okay? When am I going to visit everyone? Am I still going to work?

 

And...what the heck is happening with Gyeongseok?

 

Yesterday night, we kissed for the first time. And...well, of course I thought about it. But as I thought about it more, I assumed it was more like a "I'm just going to kiss you because we might die" sort of thing.

 

A one time thing.

 

A decision that was made purely out of fear.

 

I had no idea we'd kiss again. And it felt... heavier? than the first one.

 

The second time wasn't just a mistake. So what did that mean? What even am I supposed to think?

 

I couldn't even process anything that happened until I got home.

 

I haven't felt this way in so long...I couldn't actually be catching feeling, right?

 

Right?...

 

I decide I'm not even gonna sleep tonight. I probably even couldn't if I tried to.

 

I get a buzz on my phone, interrupting my thoughts,

 

Gyeongseok: Goodnight Hyunju! I'll see you soon

 

I smile.

 

To Gyeongseok: Goodnight💗Praying for Nayeon tomorrow

 

I set down my phone, and lie down, knowing I still wouldn't get a wink of sleep tonight.

 

-

 

Gyeongseok POV:

 

The moment I wake up, I immediately get up to check on Nayeon, who was already awake

 

I wanted to break down seeing her so happy to see me again.

 

She asked where I have been. I don't even know what to say to that..

 

The doctor comes in around an hour later and starts her first day of treatment.

 

Nayeon hates shots, let alone an IV pinching her arm for much more than a few seconds.

 

It takes a few hours, but Nayeon holds onto my hand the whole entire time.

A piece of my heart breaks every time she flinches from sudden sharp pains. I hate seeing her like this and I hit myself for leaving her for so long alone.

 

Even her favorite TV show can't distract her at this moment.

 

It felt like weeks, but only a day of treatment is done.

 

"Appa?" She asks

 

"Yeah?"

 

"When am I gonna get out of here?"

 

"We're trying our best Nayeona, you're gonna get out as soon as you're better okay?"

 

"Am I gonna get better?"

 

I pause for a moment, not trying to let her see the pain in my eyes.

 

"You will. You're a strong girl."

 

She nods, "Can you read me a story?"

 

I turn around and grab a book from a table in the room.

 

"Wait, I don't like that one." Nayeon says.

 

"They don't have much selection here."

 

"Can you go home tomorrow and bring more?"

 

"Of course I will."

 

So I read her the book until she falls asleep, which surprisingly doesn't take too long. I sigh knowing it's only going to get tougher from here. Many days of treatment awaits us.

 

How am I going to handle this?

 

I set down the book back on the table and rub her hand,

 

"Goodnight Nayeona." I whisper

 

I sit down on a chair in the room. I decide to text Daeho:

 

To Daeho: Are you and Junhee still up? Nayeon's done with treatment now and she's asleep.

 

I don't have to wait long until I get a text.

 

Daeho: Yes of course! Tell us how it went. We're all awake. Hyunju's here right now too

 

Hyunju...

 

To Daeho: Perfect, I'll be right there

 

I take one last look at Nayeon before stepping out of the room and walking the area of the hospital Junhee's in.

 

Once I find their room, I knock quietly.

 

I'm greeted by a smiling Daeho, "Hyung! Come in!"

 

I walk in, getting greeted by both girls. Junhee's still in bed, looking much better than she was yesterday. She looks brighter.

 

Hyunju's seated right next to her, holding the crying baby in her hands, giving me a bright smile and a nod that makes me want to melt on the spot.

 

I turn to Junhee,

 

"Do you have a name yet?"

 

She shakes her head, "I do have choices though."

 

"So do I!" says Daeho, sighing.

 

"Shut up Daeho! He's just joking, I think I'm leaning towards Yeji."

 

Daeho rolls his eyes, "Hyung, how's Nayeon doing?"

 

I nod, "She's doing okay.." I say shrugging, "First day of treatment is only the beginning though."

 

Junhee gives me a sad look,

 

"Yeah..I get it. Halmoni and Yong-sik actually came to visit earlier today. They wanted to say hi to you but I didn't want them to bother you at all. They can be...a lot."

 

I laugh looking down, "I know what you mean. Sad I missed them though."

 

Hyunju seems to be a little bit quieter, lost in her thoughts. Gosh I hope it's not because of me.

 

We all spend another 30 minutes talking some more. I liked learning more things about everyone.

 

It's a bit pathetic to think that the best and closet people I know are the people I met in a freaking murder game wearing stupid onesie tracksuits.

 

After a while, Junhee starts to get tired, so we all get kicked out again by Daeho.

 

All meaning me and Hyunju.

 

Once we're in the hall, Hyunju turns to look at me, "Are you gonna stay here again tonight?"

 

I sigh rubbing my eyes, "I don't know, probably?. But I had the worst sleep of my life last night."

 

"Same with me. I'm probably not gonna sleep tonight either."

 

"Do you wanna talk then?"

 

She raises an eyebrow, "Talk? About?..."

 

I shrug, "Just anything I guess. Since we both can't sleep anyways."

 

She agrees, and that's what got us going outside of the hospital and into her car which was parked in a pretty empty parking lot.

 

She turns to look at me,

 

"Nayeon did well today?"

 

I smile softly, "She did. I just hope she can push through the rest."

 

"And how did you do today?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"How do you feel?"

 

I blink a few times wondering if I should tell the truth or make up a lie that she would totally see through anyway.

 

I decide to lie.

 

"I'm...fine"

 

She rolls her eyes, "Liar."

 

I knew it.

 

"It's hard, but...I'm managing."

 

"Mmmokay."

 

I laugh, "And how about you?"

 

She sighs, "Well, I'm fired from both jobs, so now I feel useless going nothing."

 

"You have money until you find a job in Thailand."

 

"I rather work than do nothing all day."

 

"That's so...Hyunju of you."

 

This makes her laugh. She shakes her head, "You're saying that like it's a bad thing."

 

"You know it's not..oh but by the way, are you visiting Junhee tomorrow?"

 

"Didn't she say she's getting discharged tomorrow morning?"

 

"What? So I won't see you?”

 

"You'll survive one day without seeing me."

 

"Say that to me again when you find me on my deathbed tomorrow."

 

"You're so dramatic."

 

And just like that one night, we spend the whole night talking.

 

Again.

 

It's so easy with Hyunju, I could probably spend hours listening and talking with her.

 

And just like that one night, I realize that I really do like this woman.

 

She has this certain sparkle in her eye when talking about something she likes, this particular frown when she doesn't like something, and just the way she listens so carefully to every detail I say about anything and asks questions like she's interested in every little boring thing I say, it makes me like her even more.

 

At one point she just rambles about some random video game she used to play when she was younger and why the terrible updates they made made her stop playing it.

 

I have the widest grin on my face. This is probably the cutest I've ever seen her before.

 

I guess she notices me because she stops talking for a second,

 

"What's funny?"

 

"You." I say giggling, "I think you brought this video game up like three times already during this conversation."

 

She sighs and rubs her eyes, "You weren't listening to anything I was saying huh."

 

"I was!"

 

"Liar."

 

I raise up my hands like I was accepting defeat.

 

"I'm not talking to you anymore." she says, pouting and crossing her arms. I see her trying to hide a smile.

 

I can't help but let out a warm chuckle escape my lips, "Alright Hyunju, I promise I won't upset you again okay?"

 

She bit back a smile and sighed, "Ugh fine.."

 

But I do see her getting tired bit later on. I notice her yawning and blinking slowly.

 

I tilt my head, "Do you wanna go home now? It is getting late, you seem tired."

 

She shakes her head, waving her hand back and forth,

 

"I'm not. I'm having fun."

 

"So am I, but you haven't slept in a couple days. We'll see each other again soon."

 

"Okay fine...lets leave, since you seem like you wanna get rid of me so bad."

 

I open my mouth to respond, then just laughed instead,

 

"You're ridiculous." I say.

 

"Go inside Gyeongseok." she says with a slight smile, shooing me with her hand.

 

"Okay okay."

 

I grab the car door handle, ready to leave, but I hesitate and instead turn around. I grab her hand and kiss it gently,

 

"But I forgot to tell you, you look beautiful today."

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

Okay, I guess this time it's my fault.

 

One minute he was getting ready to leave, and the next minute, we're making out in my car in the middle of the night.

 

I don't know what happened, but he was about to leave and I just suddenly wanted to kiss him so I did.

 

I could tell he was surprised at first, gasping a little once I pulled him in, but felt his hands cup my cheeks a second later.

 

And this time, it was definitely longer and definitely more intense.

 

My hands curled around the back of his shoulders, and I laugh a little feeling his pounding heartbeat through his body.

 

"What?" He mutters against my lips.

 

"You're so nervous."

 

He scoffs as he makes his way down to my neck,

 

"Don't make any marks." I say, "I'm meeting with Geum-ja and Yong-sik tomorrow and the last thing I want is questions."

 

He quietly listens, leaving nothing but soft kisses on my neck before moving back up to my mouth.

 

We're both exhausted from the lack of sleep so the kiss gets sloppy after a little bit, but neither of us seems to mind.

 

We both pull away once we realize the slight glow of the sun coming up.

 

"Shoot." said Gyeongseok, "What time is it?"

 

I fumble for my phone, "Almost...6."

 

"Oh gosh..." I say, completely confused as to how we lost track of time.

 

"I really do think you should go inside now. We shouldn't have stayed here for this long. Now you'll be tired during Nayeon's treatment." I tiredly laugh.

 

"I think the fear will keep me awake. Plus, it was worth it. Every minute with you is." he says while tucking a stand of hair behind my ear.

 

"Alright you sap, now go inside."

 

He flips down my makeup mirror and fixes his hair before turning back to me,

 

"How do I look?"

 

I try and stifle a laugh as I start wiping off remaining lipstick on his face.

 

"You look good. Now go."

 

He sighs and opens the door to leave but leans down once more,

 

"Wait! if I'm not gonna see you today, can I call you later?"

 

"Go Gyeongseok!"

 

"Alright alright."

 

He gives me one more smile before shutting the door and walking back to the hospital. I can see him looking back at my car occasionally as he makes his way to the front door.

 

Once he's out of sight, I take a long long breath.

 

That really just happened.

 

Why the heck am I letting this happen?

 

I groan, and start the car, barely awake. I pull out my phone and send Geum-ja a quick text before I forget:

 

To Geum-ja: Hi Halmoni! I know I was supposed to come over to your house at 11, but can I go a little later in the day? Something came up."

 

Nothing came up.

 

I just need to sleep.

 

I'm so tired I couldn't care less that Geum-ja was probably going to ask a million questions as to why I was up at 5:58 am.

 

But I'll just stress about everything later, right now, I just need to get home.

Chapter Text

Daeho POV:

 

This freaking baby won't stop crying.

 

Yes she's adorable, but couldn't she give me a break once in a while?

 

Junhee's getting discharged later today, which means we're still stuck here until the time rolls around.

 

The baby started crying at around 4:00, waking both me and Junhee up. But I know how much Junhee needed sleep, so I walked outside of the hospital, pacing back and forth with the crying baby in my hands.

 

I almost cried too out of joy when the baby finally quieted down and fell back asleep.

 

I walk back into the hospital, when I suddenly hear the door open behind me. I turn around.

 

It's Gyeongseok. And he looks...a little weird? His hair looked a little messier than it usually does and his cheeks are a strong rosy pink. He looks completely dazed.

 

Did he get any sleep last night?

 

"Hyung?? Were you outside?" I whisper.

 

Gyeongseok, who looks completely surprised seeing me, mumbles some response I don't understand before patting me on the back and rushing down the hall.

 

I'm frozen in my spot, my eyes still glued to the direction he ran out. What the heck happened to him?

 

-

 

"Daeho?"

 

"Morning Junhee." I say quietly.

 

She blinks for a moment. "Morning. What time is it?"

 

"Like...10?"

 

Junhee yawns, still lying down. She turns her head to look at me,

 

"Was she crying this whole time?" she says groggily.

 

I shake my head, "I just took her outside for a bit earlier. She seems to be doing fine now."

 

Junhee sighs, rubbing her eyes,

 

"Thank you Daeho... I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."

 

I smile, "I'm happy to help. I'm just glad you didn't get dropped off with your ex psycho crypto guy."

 

She groans, turning sides in her bed, "Oh my gosh, Don't remind me."

 

"At least she'll have good genes, MG coin is hot."

 

"You're making it worse."

 

"Alright I'm sorry."

 

Junhee slowly sits up and reaches for the baby. I gently hand her over. She rocks her back and forth smiling from ear to ear. It's heartwarming to see Junhee like this.

 

She looks up at me, "Is Hyunju seeing Yong-sik and Geum-ja today?"

 

"Yeah I think so. They know you're getting discharged today so they probably don't want to bother you."

 

"Aw...."

 

"Once you get discharged, you guys can hang out every day, don't worry."

 

"What about Gyeongseok?"

 

My mind suddenly flashes to the image of Gyeongseok earlier this morning, looking completely frantic for some reason.. I still don't have a clue was he doing.

 

"I'm...not sure. He's not working but Nayeon has treatment so I'm guessing it's a no for now. But I did run into him this morning and he looked- I don't even know.. he was all red and his hair was messed up and stuff."

 

Junhee raises an eyebrow, "What?...."

 

"I know. It was weird. I asked him where he was and he barely answered me."

 

"Do you know if he went home last night?"

 

I think for a moment of anything Gyeongseok had said about him staying or not.

 

"I don't.." I finally say.

 

"Maybe he went over to Hyunju's." she says with the tiniest smirk.

 

"Oh my gosh..." I roll my eyes, "First Yong-sik, now you?"

 

When Yong-sik and Geum-ja came to visit yesterday, Hyunju wasn't here yet, so Yong-sik kept saying things about Gyeongseok and Hyunju having something going on and whatnot.

 

We thought he was reading into things too much and none of us agreed with him...until now I guess.

 

She shrugs, "I mean I was thinking about it and...he kinda has a point. Someone seems to have eyes for Hyunju."

 

"You guys are nuts. You're overthinking this."

 

"100,000 won."

 

"Huh?"

 

"I'm betting 100,000 won he went over."

 

"Seriously?"

 

She gives a smug grin before shaking her head,

 

"Alright alright, seriously though, I wouldn't read too much into him. He probably just didn't get enough sleep and he's probably stressed out too."

 

I nod, "Yeah...poor dad huh.. kids are hard."

 

Junhee laughs, "Speaking of kids..."

 

I turn to her curiously,

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I'm naming her Yeji."

 

I can't help but smile and run up to her to give her a hug,

 

She giggles and hugs me back, "You don't care that I didn't name her Vegeta?"

 

I shake my head refusing to let go,

 

"Yeji's beautiful. Now let's get you out of here."

 

-

 

Gyeongseok POV:

 

Second day of treatment is over.

 

Nayeon felt terrible the whole time, so she fell asleep holding my hand. She looks so peaceful sleeping but that makes me suddenly start silently crying a little bit.

 

I held it in all day, trying to not let Nayeon feel anymore worse about this then she already does, but now that I'm alone, I don't have to.

 

I don't let myself cry for long, just a few seconds before wiping away my tears.

 

How am I supposed to handle months of this if I can't even handle day 2?

 

I need to get a grip.

 

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone buzzing on the table.

 

I panic and quickly get up to grab it. I turn around to see if the vibration had woken Nayeon up but it hadn't.

 

Thank the stars.

 

I look at my phone. Hyunju texted.

 

Right. She said she'd come over at 10 pm today. Good. I really need a break to step away from my anxiety filled thoughts.

 

I quietly step out of the room and sprint outside,

 

As soon as I see her, I can't help but beam from ear to ear. Gosh I missed her even if it was less than 24 hours.

 

"Hyunju!" I say happily, pulling her in for a hug. "You look beautiful. My goodness, I missed you so much."

 

She laughs, "I missed you too."

 

We get back into her car just like yesterday. Maybe this time we can leave before the sun comes up.

 

"How's Nayeon?" she asks

 

I sigh, "She's handling it well. No one likes pain but she's doing okay."

 

She nods, giving me a warm look, "She's doing great."

 

"How was Geum-ja's?"

 

"It was good. But Yong-sik was still sleeping when I went over. We drank tea and talked. I helped her tidy up a bit too. Oh and we both went shopping to get Junhee some good baby stuff. And then we came home and ate dinner together."

 

"Wow...you two did a lot."

 

"I know! I had a lot of fun. She keeps pressing about that group dinner though."

 

"We're a pack of unemployed people, it won't be hard to find a date." I laugh. Then I raise my eyebrows, suddenly realizing something,

 

"Wait a second, was Yong-sik asleep the whole time?"

 

"He wasn't even awake by the time I left." she giggles, "Geum-ja wanted to wake him but I stopped her. He hasn't had a proper sleep in days. We all haven't.."

 

I guess she notices my lack of sleep from me because she squints and leans back, "We should probably not talk for long since you really need sleep Gyeongseok. You need energy."

 

"You're right...We won't be long."

 

She chuckles, "Lets just...not make this like yesterday where we stayed here for too long that the sun came out. We'll stay here for an hour tops, okay?"

 

"Okay...an hour tops."

 

-

 

It was not an hour tops.

 

We ended up talking the whole night. Once again.

 

She did keep prompting for me to go inside, and I almost did several times. It's just so hard for me to for some reason.

 

I also don't understand how we still have topics to talk about after all this. Like we legit spent an hour ranking high protein foods from best to worst.

 

Things never seem to get boring with her.

 

And once again, I guess something happened towards the end and we ended up making out in the car until the sun came up.

 

Again.

 

Freaking heck dude.

 

-

 

I walk back to the hospital, grinning like a complete idiot. I'm so in my thoughts that I almost knock into the glass door.

 

When I get to Nayeon's room, she's still sound asleep. Her tiny body barely moving with every breath she takes.

 

I lie down beside her and look up at the ceiling. I catch myself smiling out of nowhere. I look back at Nayeon.

 

Still asleep.

 

I turn on my right side and sigh, at least trying to get in an hour of sleep before the treatment today...

 

-

 

10:05 pm:

Hyunju: I'm not driving over today. You need to sleep.

 

Nayeon is back asleep when I see that text. The third day of treatment done. I ruffle through my hair.

 

I want to argue, but I know she's right. I managed to stay awake all day today but at what cost? I feel like a freaking zombie.

 

Gyeongseok: Okok, I will. I promise.

 

Hyunju: Don't stay up watching dramas

 

Gyeongseok: I won't...

 

Hyunju: How did it go today?

 

Gyeongseok: It went as well as it can go. She's back asleep right now.

 

Hyunju: Poor angel. Tell her I said hi

 

Gyeongseok: She....doesn't really know who you are

 

Hyunju: What?! You never told her about me??!!

 

Gyeongseok: You should come and meet her sometime! I think she'd love you.

 

Hyunju: Really?? I'd love to

 

Gyeongseok: Well I'm here everyday so come by whenever you can

 

Hyunju: I'll definitely come see you guys. Just not anytime soon since YOU NEED TO FREAKING SLEEP GYEONGSEOK

 

Gyeongseok: Wait, but how was your day?

 

Hyunju: It was fine. My day will be even better if you sleep right now.

 

Gyeongseok: Alright fine...

 

Hyunju: If you sleep IMMEDIATELY right now and get at least 8 hours, I'll drive over again tomorrow

 

Gyeongseok: BET!!

 

Hyunju: Alright alright, now get to bed. Goodnight.

 

Gyeongseok: Goodnight Hyunju, you look beautiful

 

Hyunju: You didn't even see me today??

 

Gyeongseok: Don't need to see you again to let you know

 

Hyunju: You suck. Go to sleep.

 

Gyeongseok: Goodnight Hyunju💗💗

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

I'm in my bedroom, hair wet from my shower, smiling at my phone like a stupid idiot.

 

Somehow, this 5 minute conversation on text was my favorite part of the whole day.

 

It took all my might to send that first text in the first place. I wanted nothing more then to have our little car hang out right now, but I know he desperately needed rest.

 

I set my phone down on the table, not quite ready to go to sleep yet.

 

Half because I was too giddy, and half because my sleep schedule has been ASS these days.

 

I fall onto my back, legs resting against the wall.

 

I can't believe it's been such a short while ever since the games. Ever since we got out.

 

It already feels like I have a completely new life.

 

I wonder where everyone else is. Where could Gihun be? And that one scared looking kid? And the guy with the bob?

 

And what about the people who didn't make it? Is Jeong-bae, Young-il, Youngmi, and the rest of the people who passed away all in Heaven right now?

 

What a cruel cruel place that was, and yet, it helped me find my forever friends.

 

And I'm never ever letting go of them.

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

And so it went like this for a long while.

 

Nayeon's treatment was going well. The doctors said at this rate, she'll be out as expected, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I know her cancer has her ups and downs.

 

Every day during the hardest part of her treatment, I'd be right there, gripping her hand as if I was in as much pain as she is.

 

It makes me thankful that I found the games so that I can be here with her all day instead of having to work and leave her alone.

 

I didn't leave Nayeon ever unless I was grabbing food, picking up something from my home, or to have my night times with Hyunju.

 

People did visit me once in a while. Yong-sik and Geum-ja came the most often, always bringing me food or other things I might need. It also helped that they absolutely adored Nayeon.

 

Daeho visited once too. Got along with Nayeon well. He loved having that time with me to give me updates about the baby and to show me a million pictures of her and Junhee.

 

It makes me admire him. He's caring for this child like it's his own, and taking care of Junhee like family.

 

I'd wish that Hyunju could come see Nayeon, but that woman is freaking busy.

 

She goes over to Junhee's to help with the baby when Daeho isn't there, goes to Daeho's to help him choose a new apartment, and is currently also helping Geum-ja and Yong-sik renovate theirs.

 

Unfortunately, we saw each other less and less frequently because of it. Probably around only once or twice a week now.

 

She's truly an Angel on earth.

 

She asks me if I need any help with anything. And even when I do, I always say no. This girl has enough on her plate than to deal with one more thing.

 

If we don't meet up together at night, we call or just text for a bit. Not too long so that we're both not tired for the next day, but long enough to still keep me smiling every time I go to bed.

 

When Nayeon's asleep, and I'm not seeing Hyunju, I sometimes drive to places where I can draw things with the time I'd usually have with her. The hospital isn't quite the best landscape.

 

I truly miss her those nights I don't get to see her.

 

It just made me realize how much I value my time with Hyunju.

 

How much I really like her...

 

-

 

The car is hot. The windows are getting fogged up from the heat from our bodies.

 

I'm with Hyunju again, kissing her again. I haven't been able to all week, and now, she might have to physically push me off of her.

 

I grab the back of her head and bring her closer, trying my best not to hurt her.

 

My left hand slightly slides under her shirt, caressing her bare waist, as her hands stay on my shoulders, firm and secure.

 

I've been starving for her for so long.

 

I hear a breathless gasp come from her when we parted for a millisecond, which immediately ended once I shoved my tongue deeper into her mouth, our teeth nearly clashing.

 

I couldn't get enough of her. Especially if I wasn't going to have this time with her for another week.

 

She definitely notices my strange behavior today because she pulls away, her hand on my chest.

 

We're both incredibly sweaty, our hair messed up. Her makeup had smeared all over her face so I probably have some on me too.

 

She closes her eyes, trying to catch her breath.

 

Once she can talk again, she looks up, "Gyeongseok, is everything okay?"

 

I lean on my side against the seat, grabbing her hand, "Yeah...I'm sorry...I just- I just missed you."

 

She sighs and looks at me warmly, the slightest troubled expression being displayed on her face, "I know...I, I missed you too."

 

"You've been so busy, huh?..."

 

"I have, but I like being busy, makes me feel useful."

 

"You definitely are. Whenever one of our friends visit, they always talk about how much you've helped them."

 

Her eyes somehow glow in the dark car as she softly smiles. I know that was the greatest thing to hear for her, and I wasn't lying.

 

"I mean," I go on, "Even when we can spend our nights together, I become more calm and like...less anxious about Nayeon. It's like you're magic."

 

She laughs a little this, "Really?"

 

"Really."

 

"Oh my gosh right. I totally have to meet Nayeon."

 

"There's no rush. Meet Nayeon when you're ready. She'll love you."

 

"How do you know that?"

 

"She likes Daeho who tried to dab her up when he first met her. If she likes him, she'll definitely like you."

 

Hyunju crackes up at this, "Oh my gosh, that's hilarious! I need to ask him about that tomorrow at Geum-ja's."

 

I raise my eyebrow in question, "Geum-ja's?"

 

She gives me that look again. The look she always gives me when I say something stupid.

 

She takes a deep sigh. Oh dear.

 

"Park. Gyeong. seok. Did you forget about our group dinner tomorrow already? The one Geum-ja reminds us about every. single. day ever since it was planned?"

 

Shoot.

 

Right, the group dinner that finally made it out of the group chat.

 

I start nodding, "Ahh right, I forgot..."

 

She shakes her head, sighing, "Remember, 9:45 pm. You remember where their apartment is right?

 

"Yeah I do...I feel bad they had to make it so late because of me."

 

"They all know about Nayeon. Everyone's okay with it. What they will be mad about is if you don't show up, so make sure not to forget."

 

"Yes ma'am." I say grinning at her.

 

She sarcastically smiles while smudging off the makeup on my face, "Alright alright, now go inside, it's getting late."

 

"Already?"

 

"It's almost 5, Gyeongseok. The sun will come up in an hour."

 

"Alright..." I say getting out the car.

 

"Goodnight Gyeongseok, get rest before tomorrow."

 

"Goodnight, you look beautiful by the way."

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

"I honestly don't know what I would do without you." Junhee says as I arrive at her house to help the next day.

 

I scoop up the baby in my hands, smiling at her,

 

"I like spending time with you and Yeji, it's basically just a girls hangout."

 

She massages her temples and scoffs,

 

"Except one of the girls can't stop crying no matter how much I rock her. Even Daeho can't get her to relax anymore."

 

"Have you been able to sleep much lately?" I ask

 

Junhee shakes her head, "I can't sleep until Yeji does, which means I don't. Daeho offers to take her for at least a night, but I don't want him to deal with the crying either."

 

"Honestly Junhee, I think you'd be doing Daeho a favor by letting her stay over. Do you know how many pictures of you guys he shows me?"

 

"He shows you those?" she smiles

 

I nod, "He loves Yeji. He doesn't shut up about her."

 

Junhee leans back, "Well then... I'm glad Yeji has some father figure in her life then.."

 

I'm quiet for a moment and take a seat next to Junhee, still rocking the baby, who seems to be calming down a bit.

 

Junhee sighs, "Her dad ignored all my calls. All he cares and has ever cared about is money. That idiot hasn't even called to check up on me after the games."

 

My eyes widen in shock, "He was at the games?"

 

She keeps silent for a minute before speaking up.

 

"Myunggi."

 

I squint my eyes and run my brain to see if I remember that name at all...but I can't seem to match a face to the name.

 

She gives me a look and sighs, "MG coin."

 

My jaw immediately drops and I feel my heartbeat starting to race, "The guy who closed the door on Young-mi?! He left you too?!"

 

Junhee gasps and lifts her hands to gesture to keep the noise down for the baby,

 

"I know..." she says softly, "That's why I'm not contacting him. Ever. He's never gonna have anything to do with my baby."

 

Yeji finally stops crying and I mentally tell myself to calm down too. I set her down in her crib and sit back down next to Junhee.

 

"What time is it?" Junhee asks. But as I reach down for my purse to get my phone, Junhee gasps loudly.

 

I whip my head towards her, "What?"

 

She moves closer to me her eyes narrowing focused on something, "Unnie what is this?"

 

She points to my neck.

 

Shoot.

 

Had I forgotten to put concealer on it today?

 

I immediately slap my hand above the mark. "Oh? It's- I- it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

 

Junhee gives me a worried look, reaching for my wrists to scan for bruises, "Someone not hurting you right?"

 

I shake my head, "Oh nonono...I promise it's not that."

 

She stares at me strangely for a little bit, as if she's trying to look right through me. Guess it works though because her mouth falls open in realization.

 

"Wait." she hushes, "Is it like...that kind of bruise? Unnie, are you seeing someone?"

 

"No! what?"

 

"Oh my gosh! You’re seeing someone! Who is it?? Do I know them?"

 

Silence.

 

She blinks, "Is it…Gyeongseok?…”

 

I just stay still, staring at her, trying to keep a straight face. I figure there’s no point in lying to her at this point.

 

She looks like she’s about to explode, as she basically bounces off the couch in excitement. Her hand is covering her mouth as she just gawks at me in complete shock.

 

“Shhhhhh!” I say before she shouts something that’ll wake the baby up.

 

She sits back down, her mouth still wide open, “Oh. My. Gosh.”

 

“Junhee calm down! We’re not even dating!” I whisper scream.

 

“What the heck is that supposed to mean?!” she whisper screams back.

 

“It means we’re not. freaking. dating!”

 

“So you’re just friends?!”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Friends dont gnaw on your neck like it’s a piece of meat!”

 

“That’s the grossest analogy you could’ve used!”

 

“Then explain Unnie!”

 

I close my eyes and sigh. How am I supposed to even explain our situation? Me and Gyeongseok haven’t even talked about it at all. It just became normal to us.

 

“Hello???” Junhee says, “You need to explain.”

 

“We’re not with each other, it’s just…we help each other relieve our stress sometimes. I’m stressed because I have no idea about my plans for Thailand, and he’s stressed out because of his daughter.”

 

Junhee covers her face angrily and groans, “Unnie! Do you hear yourself?! You guys are just sleeping with each other just for the fun of it?! How does that make any sense?!”

 

“No Junhee! We’re not sleeping with each other!”

 

“Then what are you guys doing?!”

 

“We just kiss!! Gosh! I need my surgery before doing that. I haven’t slept with anyone ever since I came out.”

 

Junhee’s face shifts a little bit. Her eyes soften.

 

“I know…” she says.

 

“And besides, I don’t want to sleep with anyone that doesn’t love me.”

 

“Unnie…you think he doesn’t love you?”

 

“He doesn’t.”

 

She slowly nods. Not a “I agree with you” nod, but rather a “how do I put this”

 

“Unnie..” she starts, “The night before we left the games, I woke up in the middle of night for no reason, but I saw you two. You two talking.”

 

She opens her mouth, trying to find the right words,

 

“You guys have this…like…different smile when you’re with each other. I know back then, maybe you didn’t even realize it, but I just happened to wake up at the time you guys were laughing and smiling at each other…like two idiots.”

 

She turns to me and put a hand on my arm,

 

“I don’t think anyone else was awake and I didn’t tell anybody of course. We weren’t even that close back then, but just seeing two people smile at each other like that…to know two people found some joy in that awful place with someone, it..it..made me smile too.”

 

I look up at her, not knowing how to react to this information,

 

“Junhee…even if he did like me back, we wouldn’t work. I’m going to Thailand soon. We’re not going to able to handle long distance, I did it before and it broke off immediately. And if something happens between us, it’ll break up this whole group we have. You guys are all I have left, and I can’t risk losing any of you.”

 

“Like me back?”

 

“What?”

 

“You said ‘even if he did like me back’”

 

I realize it’s the first time I actually verbalized that. I let out a sad sigh as I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

 

Junhee’s quick to pull me into a comforting hug, rubbing my back as I tried my hardest to not let any tears fall out.

 

“No matter what happens Unnie, I’ll support you. I know you know what’s best for you, but love isn’t such a bad thing you know. And I know you both are full of it.”

 

I pull away, nodding and blinking through my blurry vision, “Thank you Junhee.”

 

“And I mean, I get it.” she says, “He is a fine man.”

 

This makes me crack up and I playfully shove her, “Okay Junhee, I think this is our sign to start getting ready for the dinner.”

 

She taps my phone, “But…it’s in three hours.”

 

“Great! Even better, it takes me around two hours to perfect my stupid eyeliner anyway.”

 

I start walking to the bathroom but stop and turn around,

 

“Junhee?… Do you have concealer and setting spray?”

 

Junhee chuckles and gets up off the couch as well,

 

“I gotchu girl.”

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

"Gyeongseok! You're here! Come in come in." Geum-ja says as she gestures for me to come in.

 

"Hi Halmoni, thank you so much for inviting me." I say, shutting the door.

 

I bow to her and take off my shoes, looking around their apartment.

 

It's around the size I expected from how Hyunju described it. The place was seemingly tidy, but was obviously in the middle of renovating.

 

There was broken pieces of wood everywhere and a ladder in the corner of the room, along with an assortment of tools on the ground.

 

Geum-ja leads me to the table, where I see Daeho and Yong-sik already there. I smile and greet them both before sitting down too.

 

"Hyung! How are you?" Yong-sik says.

 

"I know, we barely see you these days." Daeho adds.

 

I smile and shrug, "The hospital's basically become my second home at this point. Once we get out, I'm definitely seeing you guys more often."

 

I see Geum-ja in the kitchen, plating things. I stand up, "Halmoni do you need any help?"

 

She shakes her head, "Nonsense. I can do it. If I need something, Yong-sik can help me."

 

"Are you su-"

 

"Sit. down."

 

Daeho laughs, "You think I didn't ask her already? I went over to help and she smacked me."

 

I chuckle, "She's the best."

 

I hear a ping from my phone and check to see who it was.

 

Yong-sik tries to lean over to get a glimpse of my messages, "Is that your girlfriend?"

 

"Yeah, she's almost here." I say not even fully registering what he had called Hyunju until I see both of them exchange looks at each other.

 

"B-b-but you both know she's not my girlfriend, cmon." I stutter.

 

Yong-sik raised both of his hands up, "Just saying, seems like you could get used to that title."

 

Daeho leans forward, clearly confused, "Wait is something really going on between you two?"

 

"No, there’s nothing. We're just..." I trail off, not knowing what to call what we have.

 

Siutationship?

 

Just friends?

 

But do friends do what we do? Is it normal to feel something like this for just someone who's a friend? But what does she feel about me? Maybe there's a chance she likes me too right? Or... maybe not?

 

My prayers are answered once the doorbell rings, making this conversation over for now. All three of us stand up, but Geum-ja beats us to the door.

 

And as the door opens, and I see Hyunju standing there, with that beautiful smile on her face as she greets Geum-ja, I think to myself.

 

After all the craziness is over, I'm asking her to be my girlfriend. And If she gets along with Nayeon, I just might have to marry her.

 

-

 

Junhee POV:

 

Now that I know something's going on between Gyeongseok and Hyunju, it's hard to miss the little signs.

 

The way Gyeongseok's eyes looked that they had stars in them every time he looked at her, the way they'd both burst out laughing whenever someone said something completely random that they probably have an inside joke about, the way Hyunju would shove Gyeongseok every time he said something stupid...

 

20 minutes into the dinner, I already had my conclusion.

 

Yes. They're in love with each other.

 

I know this for sure.

 

I know because they reminded me of myself and Myunggi before I got pregnant. Before the fights and before the games.

 

Before he completely vanished out of my life.

 

And although I hate him, seeing these two all in love makes me miss our life that we used to have together. We were struggling yes, but we were together and happy.

 

At least I was.

 

I hope these two never end up like us. But I know they won't.

 

They're Hyunju and Gyeongseok.

 

-

 

"Gyeongseok, how's your daughter doing? It's been a bit since I've seen her." Geum-ja asks.

 

He sets down his fork and smiles, "She's doing well. I don't want to say when she might get out or I'll jinx it."

 

"Nayeon is a sun. Once she gets better, she should come to these dinners, just like Yeji." says Geum-ja, pointing to my baby which is currently being cradled by Daeho.

 

"Of course, that would be amazing." He says

 

"What about you Hyunju?" asks Daeho, "Have you met Nayeon yet?"

 

Hyunju looks up shyly, "Oh...no I haven't."

 

"She's been so busy helping all of us." I say

 

"I know. She's been such a big help to everyone." says Geum-ja, "We'll all be fine for a few days right? Hyunju, you should take time for yourself and meet Nayeon too."

 

She looks around at all of us, "Are you sure...?"

 

"Of course! Aigoo... you need to learn to be selfish and do what you want sometimes."

 

Hyunju gives a nervous smile to Gyeongseok as he carefully rubs her shoulder.

 

"Okay...I will" she says while smiling at the rest of us.

 

We talked about everything under the sun during this dinner. And here I thought I was going to be alone after the games, when in reality, I found my family.

 

Three hours had past of us chatting so we finally decided to wrap it up. Yong-sik's helping his mom wash dishes as the guys clear the table.

 

They wouldn't let Hyunju and I help, so we just ended up just sitting there kinda awkwardly until they finished.

 

We all went outside of the apartment once they were finished, wanting to part with each other until the very last second.

 

We four say our goodbyes to Geum-ja and Yong-sik, watching them walk inside.

 

It was completely dark, but the moon seemed to shine extra bright today.

 

“Junhee, do you want me to take the baby tonight?” Daeho asks, reaching his hands out.

 

“Daeho no, it’s fine.”

 

“Junhee, you’re gorgeous, but you look awful. I know how hard the baby is for you. It’ll just be for a night. I promise I won’t burn the house down or anything. Pleaseeeee!”

 

“You seem like you care more about hanging out with Yeji than helping me.”

 

“No! I care about both of you!”

 

“I need to feed her Daeho.”

 

“You already fed her 30 minutes ago, she’ll be asleep for the night and then I’ll drop her off first thing in the morning, I promise.”

 

I finally give in, giving Daeho the baby carrier along with Yeji, who’s dead asleep.

 

As he’s clipping her inside, I see Gyeongseok and Hyunju a few feet away from us. They seemed to be talking about something funny of some sort because they’re both laughing.

 

Once Daeho gets her clipped in, he smiles and grabs my hand to walk towards them.

 

It takes so long to say goodbye, because we know it’ll be a while before we can see each other like this again. We’re all standing around each other, waiting for someone to initiate going home.

 

Hyunju looks up, “Look at those stars.” she says, pointing up.

 

“I know. It’s beautiful.” says Daeho, “There aren’t usually this many.”

 

And then there’s Gyeongseok, not saying anything, not looking up, but looking at Hyunju, like she’s the most beautiful thing that he’s ever seen.

 

And that’s the second I knew.

 

The second I knew they were going to work out, no matter what.

 

I wished so bad Hyunju could turn to her head to see how Gyeongseok was looking at her right now.

 

Not long passes until a police car rushes by with its siren blaring, waking Yeji up.

 

Daeho snaps out of his thoughts and quickly says goodbye to all of us, hugging me before he jumps in his car to get home where Yeji can sleep in peace.

 

I laugh to myself as he drives away.

 

“Do you trust him?” asks Hyunju.

 

I nod, “Yeah…he’s got this.”

 

I turn to them both, “I’ll..get in the car. Can I have the keys Unnie?”

 

She tosses me them and I open the passengers seat, wanting to give them a moment alone that they didn’t have all day.

 

I didn’t watch them or try to listen.

 

I just waited for them to be finished.

 

And five minutes later, Hyunju walks in, opening the door, the widest grin on her face.

 

-

 

As we arrive at my apartment, I feel something strange in the air.

 

It’s rare I’m the talker during a conversation, but on the way home, it felt like it. She is usually a quiet person, but on the ride home, she barely said ten words.

 

While she tried to find a parking spot, I turn to look at Hyunju, who looks completely different than she did at the dinner. I can practically see her brain being overflowed with thoughts.

 

“Unnie, is…everything okay?”

 

She fakes a smile, not looking at me while parking the car, “I’m fine yeah…I had a lot of fun tonight.”

 

“So did I…”

 

Silence.

 

“Did I accidentally say something?”

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes Junhee I’m fine!” she shouts.

 

I blink, frozen in shock. She never raises her voice like that. The only time I’ve ever heard her shout is when Myunggi pushed her friend out of the room during Mingle.

 

Hyunju closes her eyes and leans back on the seat, “I’m sorry Junhee…” she quietly says

 

I shake my head, “No it’s okay…I know you’ve been under a lot of stress.”

 

“It’s not an excuse to take it out like that. I’m sorry.”

 

“No I can’t blame you. You’ve been helping all of us out. Halmoni’s right. You shouldn’t help us until you want to again. Go and relax, and take time for yourself. You can plan your move to Thailand, visit Gyeongseok and meet his daughter at the hospital and-”

 

“But that’s the problem! I don’t want to…”

 

I squint, confused, “What?…”

 

“I don’t want to meet his daughter, Junhee.”

 

“But…I thought…”

 

It’s completely quiet for a moment. What was she talking about?

 

I see tears start forming in her eyes, “I…don’t think I realized how much he means to me until today.”

 

“You like him a lot huh?”

 

“I love him Junhee. I love him.”

 

I grab her hand softly as the tears start rolling down.

 

“Junhee, I can’t have children. You know that. But I’m scared that if I meet his daughter…I might…start imagining that maybe they can be my family. It’s so stupid.”

 

I shake my head, “It’s not stupid at all.”

 

“It is Junhee. They can’t ever be my family since I’m going to Thailand. Not just a vacation, I’m moving there. Forever.”

 

“I know…I’m gonna miss you so much.”

 

Silence.

 

“You know, I’ve been having nightmares lately.. about Young-mi, about the games. If…something happens between me and him, I’ll lose all of you too. When I come to visit Korea, I’ll have no one to see.”

 

I nod slowly, choosing my words carefully,

 

“Whatever happens between you and him, we’re always going to be here for you. And besides, Gyeongseok’s not the type of person to hold animosity for anybody, you know that.”

 

She sighs, wiping her tears, “I’m just scared… I’m scared Junhee.”

 

I feel tears start to form in my own eyes, “I know…”

 

We stay quiet again, crying with each other silently.

 

“Unnie…” I say softly, “Just…don’t completely cut this idea off. Meet his daughter first, and then decide.”

 

“Junhee, you don’t understand. I can’t. I know the second I see Nayeon, I’m going to love her too much. I already know.”

 

“When…are you leaving?”

 

She pauses,

 

“I’m almost fluent in Thai, I have my visa, I have a few options for possible houses there and a hotel I’m staying in for the first week, all my documents are collected, and almost all my stuff are in boxes.”

 

“Oh.”

 

I didn’t know she was leaving so soon. None of us did.

 

There’s another silence. A big one this time.

 

She unlocks the car, “I..I think you’d better go inside now.”

 

I just nod, not trying to stay any longer. I pick up my purse and close the door, not saying goodbye.

 

And as I open the door to my apartment, I wished that Daeho didn’t take Yeji tonight. If I had her, the room wouldn’t be completely silent.

 

Usually I’d kill for a full night’s rest, but right now, I want anything but silence.

Chapter Text

Hyunju POV:

 

I wake up the next day feeling absolutely terrible.

 

I messed things up. Now things will be shaky between me and Junhee because I decided I couldn't keep anything to myself.

 

After an hour of overthinking, I decide to drive over to her apartment, hoping to at least talk with her and apologize.

 

I knock on the door and she opens it, visibly surprised to see me,

 

"Oh...hi unnie." she says walking out and closing the door, leaving us both outside.

 

I open my mouth, but no words came out. It felt like I was going to break down again.

 

This is not how it's supposed to go, dang it.

 

Thankfully, I guess Junhee can read me without a single word being said so she brings me in for a hug, squeezing me tightly,

 

"I love you too."

 

We pull back from the hug and she tilts her head, "Wait...is that all you came here to say?"

 

"I mean I didn’t even say anything but...yeah...basically." I mutter while wiping a stray tear that had fallen down.

 

She laughs and shakes her head, "Do you wanna come inside for a moment? It's not a close distance between your apartment and mine. Oh but Daeho's here if you mind...?"

 

"I don't mind at all, but I don’t want to be a bother.”

 

"Oh my gosh, don't ever use the word 'I' and 'bother' in the same sentence ever again" she groans.

 

This is why I love Junhee to bits and pieces.

 

We both walk back inside her apartment room.

 

"Where's Daeho?" I ask looking around.

 

"He's in the bathroom changing Yeji's diaper."

 

We settle on two tall chairs in the kitchen area and she grabs one of my hands, whispering softly,

 

"How are you feeling?"

 

I shrug, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

 

"What are you gonna do before you go to Thailand? Have you decided?" she asks.

 

I nod firmly, "I did. I'm meeting his daughter."

 

Her eyes double in size, shocked, "What?!...wait b-but why? You were so against it earlier."

 

"Gyeongseok asked again if I was gonna see her and Geum-ja sent me another text... or five telling me to hurry up and meet Nayeon, sooo I kinda got peer pressured."

 

Junhee laughs, "Halmoni...she's so funny, but she does need to calm down sometimes. You know you can do whatever you want to do."

 

"Should I?" I ask, a hint of worry creeping on my voice.

 

She gives me a cute little smile, "Like I said yesterday, it's up to you ultimately, but I think you'll regret it at least a little bit if you don't see her at least once. I haven't met her either though since I got my own baby to deal with, so I can't really speak for myself I guess."

 

"Oh my gosh, I'm just like so torn."

 

"Do you wanna flip a coin?"

 

"...Seriously?"

 

"Dead serious."

 

I laugh, "You know what? Sure, I'll meet her. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here. I probably am just overreacting and I won't attached at all...?"

 

She pauses, definitely noticing the nerves in my voice, "If you decide to, I'll be right here if you need anything."

 

"Thanks Junhee.."

 

-

 

Yeah I gave in. Mostly to stop the nagging...I think.

 

I'm currently in the car parked in the hospital parking lot, my hand stuck on the handle. I breathe in and out.

 

Everything will be fine.

 

I walk out of the car and in and enter the hospital. I see Gyeongseok sitting in the entrance. Once he spots me, he smiles the brightest I've ever seen.

 

"You made it!" he says, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

 

I laugh nervously, "You think she'll like me?"

 

He nods, leading me to Nayeon's room, "She will. Don't even worry at all."

 

Once we get to her room, he glances at me one more time before opening the door.

 

And there, I see a little girl I've seen a million times in pictures, but never seen in real life. I can already pinpoint the parts of her face she gets from her dad.

 

She's truly adorable.

 

She looks up at us when we walk inside the room, tilting her head at the unexpected visitor. She's still lying down, her head elevated. She looks fatigued but still gives us a little wave and a small smile, revealing her bunny teeth. Which is another thing she got from her dad.

 

I wave back, suddenly feeling shy, "Hi, you're Nayeon right? I'm Hyunju imo."

 

"You know my dad?"

 

"I do, we met at a...well, that doesn't really matter I guess."

 

Gyeongseok, who's sitting next to me, lets out a chuckle to that, shaking his head.

 

"I’ve seen you before somewhere.." Nayeon says while squinting.

 

"Um you-you have?" I say, completely confused.

 

Her eyes shift and she looks at Gyeongseok, "Wait Dad, she's real?!"

 

Both me Gyeongseok share looks of uncertainty, he puts a hand on her shoulder,

 

"What are you talking about Nayeona?" he asks.

 

"The girl from your drawings."

 

He laughs and shakes his head, "Nayeon...I drew lots of different girls with straight bangs at the park."

 

Nayeon, not completely convinced still nods and turns back to me,

 

"Are you dad's friend?"

 

"Yes I am."

 

"How does dad have so many friends all of a sudden?"

 

"Nayeona..." Gyeongseok says awkwardly with a weird look.

 

"I'm just glad dad finally has some people to talk with now because he was kind of lonely before. He was always crying and-"

 

"Okay Nayeon." he says, putting a hand on her arm and sighing.

 

I cover my mouth, trying not to laugh.

 

Nayeon sits up a bit and turns to look at me like she's analyzing me. I gulp. Is she wondering why I look like man? I didn't think a kid would catch up on that though.

 

Then she tiredly grins, "I like your makeup. Your eyes are shimmery. You look like a fairy."

 

I'm taken aback, "Oh t-thank you." I say, coming out more a stutter than an actual sentence.

 

I point to a stuffed bear with a strawberry hat sitting next to her bed,

 

"Who's this?"

 

She grabs it and holds it up proudly to show me, "This is Bomi, She's a strawberry princess, and a one hundredth degree black belt in Taekwondo."

 

I couldn't help but let a laugh escape, "Wow, one hundredth degree huh? That's around 96 more than me."

 

Nayeon's eyes widen, "You did taekwondo?"

 

"I did. I got up to 4th degree but I got too busy so I didn't get to reach 5th."

 

Nayeon's mouth is wide open. It's so cute how she's shocked at this little revelation, "You're so cool, you're like a superhero."

 

"Well...I can never be as good as Bomi can I? Which in fact, maybe Bomi can teach someone taekwondo?"

 

"Who?"

 

I reach into my bag pulling out a cute white bunny plush with a baby pink dress. I got it on the way here...just in case.

 

"I got this for you, I heard you like bunnies?"

 

Nayeon's jaw drops as she stares at the plush. Then she looks up at me and then Gyeongseok, her mouth still wide open.

 

I giggle at her reaction, she had acted like I had just pulled the doll out of thin air.

 

"Thank you!" she exclaims in excitement, "Dad can you make another hat for the bunny too?"

 

"You made this?" I ask, picking up the bear and looking at the carefully crocheted hat in awe.

 

He leans back and smiles, "I learned to crochet a while ago. It's nothing special."

 

"No- it's...it's amazing."

 

Nayeon sinks in her bed a little bit, closing her eyes, "Daddy's really good at crafts. And art. He can draw good too. Show her the drawings dad."

 

"I'm pretty sure Hyunju imo doesn't want to look at my boring drawings."

 

Nayeon picks up the sketchbook from the stand and holds it out to me, "Yes she does, right Imo? I'll show you the one that looks like you."

 

I laugh, "He can show me whatever he wants to show me."

 

Gyeongseok scratches the back of his head, taking back the sketchbook and placing it back on the stand, "I'll let you know when I create a masterpiece, then I'll show you."

 

-

 

A while passes and even though Nayeon seems to be extremely tired, she doesn't want to let me leave.

 

"Nayeona, Hyunju needs to leave now okay? She's very busy."

 

She pouts and grips onto my hand without a word, her eyes still closed.

 

Gyeongseok crosses his arms, "Nayeon." he says sternly. His dad voice.

 

She huffs and reluctantly lets go of my arm, scowling. He chuckles and we both stand up.

 

I lean down one more time and smile, "Goodbye Nayeon." I say

 

She opens her eyes and gives me a frown, "Am I gonna see you again?"

 

I pause for a moment, not knowing what to say.

 

Am I?

 

"C'mon Hyunju, lets get you outta here." Gyeongseok says.

 

We both walk out the door and into the hallway, where he immediately kisses me. When we pull back, he has the biggest smile on his face.

 

"I told you she'd love you." he says, pulling me into a hug.

 

"Yeah..." I respond hesitantly, "I'm glad."

 

His expression shifts, noticing something's wrong, "Is everything okay? She didn't say something to you right?"

 

"Ohnono." I say shaking my head, "Nayeon's an amazing kid. I was just nervous, but I'm relieved it went well."

 

He pauses.

 

"Is that all?..."

 

I look up and put on a smile, grabbing his hand, "Yeah yeah, that's all. Don't worry, but wait I think I forgot my bag in there." I say.

 

I open the door slowly, grab my bag, and say goodbye to Nayeon one more time before walking back out.

 

-

 

When I get home, I take off my shoes, and just sit on the floor, leaning against one of the walls.

 

I want to call Junhee so bad, but I don't want a repeat of last time, so I just let myself have time alone first to soak up everything before I become an emotional wreck again.

 

I met his daughter.

 

I finally met her.

 

And like I predicted the first time, I love her.

 

The second I saw her, I knew I would.

 

I look around my home. Boxes filled with my stuff to donate scattered around the house, along with my not yet packed suitcases.

 

The room looks so empty.

 

I have the money I've always wanted to go to Thailand with. I should be happy right?

 

I just don't know why I had to meet such amazing people before I had to leave.

 

Young-mi, my forever sister,

 

Junhee, my best friend who's been with me through everything since the games ended,

 

Daeho, who's always managing to make me laugh until my stomach hurts,

 

Guem-ja, who treats me like her own daughter,

 

Yong-sik, who always checks up on me every day to make sure I'm feeling well and getting enough rest,

 

Nayeon, a beautiful child who saw me for who I was,

 

And Gyeongseok, the love of my life. I don't think I've ever loved someone like I've loved him.

 

And he doesn't even know it. I don't think he ever will.

 

I told myself once everyone’s settled completely, I will be good to leave. Yeji’s a healthy baby and is growing on track, Geum-ja’s apartment is pretty much almost done with renovating, Daeho’s moving in soon, and Nayeon’s on plan to leave the hospital in around a month.

 

It should be the perfect time to leave, but all I want to do is stay.

 

But no matter how much I want to stay, I need to go to Thailand. I need to. I've been waiting my whole life for this.

 

Slowly, I stand up, feeling I don't know...numb? I walk over to the bathroom and wash my face.

 

Just then, I hear a buzz from my phone:

 

Junhee: How'd it go? Everything go well?

 

I just stare at it for a few minutes. What did I do to deserve this? To deserve these people? It's moments like these where I wish I were alone again.

 

Alone, but free.

 

I ignore the text for now, and reach into my bag to find a hair tie, but then I see something that wasn't in there before.

 

I pull it out. It's two crumbled pieces of paper.

 

How did this get in here?

 

I slowly unfold one of the papers. My mouth parts slightly and I just stare at it.

 

It's me.

 

...Or at least I think it is?

 

The girl in the drawing has similar features to me like it could be me, but it looks kind of more like the person I had wished I was rather than what I really look like.

 

She looks soft and pretty. Two things I will never be.

 

The paper looks like it was ripped out quickly in a rush.

 

I sigh. Nayeon probably snuck this in somehow still on the idea that it was me. I set the paper down and unfold the next one.

 

This time, my jaw drops. This is me. Nayeon wasn't mistaken.

 

It's of me during the games. The number 120 on the left of my green uniform. I was holding a gun, looking to the side, shooting.

 

He drew me so...beautifully.

 

I start to feel a thick lump in my throat.

 

Is this how he perceives me? Is this why he calls me beautiful? Because this is what he sees when he looks at me?

 

I crumble back both papers and place them back in my bag, trying to shake away the image of his drawings in my mind.

 

I walk out of the bathroom and start grabbing the donate boxes from around the room and stacking them together.

 

I need to hurry and leave before anything else makes me want to stay more than I already do.

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

"You're what?!!" Yong-sik shouts happily.

 

"Keep your voice down! Other people are here!" I hush.

 

Last week was the first time Hyunju met Nayeon.

 

I was trying to be calm, but I in fact was a nervous wreck. I really like this girl, and if her and Nayeon didn't get along, we would never work out.

 

But seeing Hyunju, and how good she was with her, she was a natural, and the whole time I felt like I was about to cry. But I couldn't cry anymore because Nayeon already makes fun of me for that, so I gotta keep it together.

 

Of course Nayeon kept asking me about her later. If she's gonna see her again.

 

I smile, but don't give her a clear answer just yet.

 

I like Hyunju...No, I love her. And I'm pretty sure she might feel the same way about me too...?

 

And if she says yes to being my girlfriend...I probably would not know how to act at that point. And since Nayeon's treatment is expected to end soon, I could spend time with her a lot more, and we can figure out Thailand or anything else that needs to be solved.

 

She's the one for me. Last week confirmed it.

 

This is what I tell Yong-sik at a bar we met up at after I put Nayeon to sleep. And of course he's making a big deal about it for everyone to hear. That's Yong-sik for y'a.

 

He laughs and leans back, clapping in satisfaction, "I was wondering when this day would come. Ever since the games I knew you two would be in this position one day, I'm so smart." he sighs.

 

I shake my head, amused, "It hasn't even been that long, you can relax."

 

He gives me a glare, setting his bottle down, "Uh..hello?! Yeah it's been that long! Hyung, literally 10 years have gone by!"

 

"10 years? Really? I think you're overreacting a tad. Just a tad."

 

He rolls his eyes, "Sure felt like it though. I feel the grey hairs forming on my head from how long I was waiting."

 

"You're impossible." I say groaning, but still smiling.

 

He smiles back, "Soooo....when are you asking her?"

 

I squint one of my eyes, thinking, my finger tapping the table, "Well I gotta like- figure everything out first. A time where Nayeon doesn't need me, so most likely at night? But then again, I don't want to disrupt Hyunju's sleep either, so the time is still into consideration. And I should prepare what I gotta say. Something that sounds like I care, but not like I'm totally desperate right? Oh and I should probably buy something too. I was thinking like a-"

 

My eyes drift to Yong-sik, who's fake snoring obnoxiously, his head leaning back on the chair.

 

I rub my eyes and sigh. It's like talking to another Nayeon.

 

He jerks up and looks around as if he just woke up, fixing his glasses, "Oh sorry were you still talking?" he asks, making a stupid face.

 

"Yong-sik? Really?"

 

"Hyung, I think you're thinking about this too hard. It's not that complicated to just ask her the question while you guys are just doing your usual things together."

 

"That wouldn't be special though right? I should do something outside of the things we usually do."

 

Yong-sik tilts his head at me and crosses his arms, "What are the usual things you do together though?"

 

"Well in the beginning, we would just talk in the car or whatever. We still do that sometimes, but we've upgraded since then. We've went to each other's places a few times, we went to a bakery together once, Itaewon, and we went to different parks. Not too many options for places open that late that night."

 

Yong-sik grins, his head resting in his hands. I feel him kicking his feet under the table, "You guys are practically already dating then."

 

"Oh my gosh." I say, "Not yet, I need to ask her first."

 

"She's gonna say yes."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

Yong-sik's jaw drops. He scoffs, "And they call me the stupid one?!"

 

"I don't know what you're implying-"

 

"Hyung! She loves you. I promise you that. Not a single doubt in my mind. I see the way you guys act together. It's absolutely disgusting." he says with the most exaggerated hand motions I've ever seen.

 

I couldn't help but laugh. Is this him being drunk or just being himself? Probably a mix of both.

 

"I don't know Yong-sik..." I say, "She has been a little more distant lately. Nothing crazy, just... quieter I guess, and she's acting a little different when I kiss her, it makes me think-"

 

"WAIT WHAT?!?!" Yong-sik shouts super loudly, which I notice gets a good amount of eyes at our table.

 

I give a slight bow of my head in a few directions as an apology and smack him on the shoulder, "You need to quiet down!" I whisper scream.

 

"You guys have kissed?!" he whisper screams back.

 

Oh. Right.

 

I may have forgotten to mention that teeny tiny minor detail.

 

I stutter for words, "I-I mean...yeah. But it's just like...something we do I guess? I know it sounds stupid, but we kissed once during the games and we never really...um...stopped or talked about it so we-"

 

"YOU'VE KISSED DURING THE GAMES!??!"

 

"Yong-sik oh my gosh! Shut. up!"

 

"Wait but- but when?!"

 

"One of the nights you were sleeping- does it really matter?!"

 

His jaw is about to detach from the rest of his face from how low it was hanging, "I just- I just can't believe this." he says softly.

 

I laugh, "You'd make a very entertaining game show host."

 

Yong-sik perks his head up, "Wait, so are you guys sleeping together?!"

 

I feel my face getting hot, "Ohnonono, I promise you we haven't."

 

Yong-sik raises a brow.

 

I sigh, "Her surgeries, remember?"

 

He looks to the side, pausing, "....Ohh right." he says, taking another sip.

 

“And besides, she probably doesn’t even want to. We’re not even dating. I think it’d be weird for us.”

 

“But you and her making out every once in a while then referring to each other as friends isn’t?”

 

"I just..." I say closing my eyes, "I hope she feels the same way, or else I'm gonna ruin everything."

 

"She does Hyung. I know she does. We all do."

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

"Coming!" I shout after hearing a knock on the door in the middle of organizing my clothes.

 

I look through the peephole...Junhee?

 

I open the door, not saying anything. Junhee stands there with Yeji in her arms. She doesn't look mad but just annoyed.

 

"Unnie, why haven't you responded to me? I was worried. I had to come over to make sure you didn't kill yourself or something."

 

I sigh, "I'm sorry Junhee. I was about to respond but I got up in packing, then I got a call from the bank and I...it just left my mind. I forgot.. I'm sorry."

 

She stares at me for a moment and nods, "It's fine. We don't have to talk about Nayeon."

 

We stay there awkwardly for a moment.

 

I open the door a little wider, "Did...you wanna co-"

 

"I mean yeah if you're offering." she says immediately walking in, taking off her shoes and hanging her purse on a hook on my wall.

 

I snicker and shut the door. She sits down on my kitchen chair, setting Yeji in her lap. She looks around at the almost empty space around us.

 

"...I can't believe you're actually leaving."

 

I stand across from her, looking at the kitchen counter, "I can't either. You don't know how many times I've thought about just staying here."

 

Junhee frowns, "If you decided that, I would drag you to the airport myself anyway. Either way you're getting out of here."

 

Yeji starts playing with Junhee's hair. Junhee winces, "Ouch! Baby that hurts."

 

"Ba!" she exclaims.

 

I beam, "I'm gonna visit you guys every chance I can. I promise."

 

"You might have too much fun there. If you want to never see us again, don't worry about it.”

 

"How could you say that? You're my best friend." I say with a sad smile.

 

Junhee sighs, grabbing my hand, "Just...trying to make this easier."

 

She looks around, "So....do you need any help with anything?"

 

I think for a moment as I walk to the cabinet to grab two glasses, "I don't think so? Other then driving these boxes down to donation and organizing the last of my stuff."

 

"And when are you telling the others when you're leaving?"

 

I freeze as I grab two tea bags, "I mean...soon."

 

"And when's that? They're going to be shocked you know. You haven't really hinted it at all to any of them."

 

I put the tea bags in the cups of water and turn around.

 

"I don't want them to make a big deal about me leaving. Halmoni already suggested we have a big celebratory dinner before I go. That's the last thing I want." I say.

 

"Their only crime is loving you too much- Ow! Yeji!" Junhee shrieks as she readjusts her hair that had just been yanked.

 

I laugh, but it dies down quickly, "I'm leaving and you guys will be absolutely fine."

 

"Is that a threat?" she asks.

 

I scoff and turn around, grabbing the two cups and handing her her tea, "It's hot."

 

"Thank you." she says, keeping it out of Yeji's reach.

 

She looks up, "But Unnie...you can't just tell them right before you leave for the airport. That would be even worse."

 

"I know..." I say clinking on my glass, "I'll make sure to tell them in the next few days. One by one. Not in a group."

 

"Okay good." she says. She takes a sip, "Who are you telling first?"

 

"...I think I'd have to tell Gyeongseok first, right?" I hesitate.

 

"Right. He probably needs the most time for it to sink in anyway. That man is kinda sensitive...in- in a good way of course."

 

I laugh, "That's true. But I love that about him."

 

Her eyes soften, "Are you going to tell him that?"

 

"Tell him what?"

 

"That you love him."

 

I shake my head, "No. it's a lose lose situation. If he does feel the same way, it means it's a missed opportunity for two people who love each other, and if he doesn't, it's just awkward and our friendship will never be the same."

 

"But Unnie, have you two ever been just friends though?

 

I stay silent. Because I know she's right.

 

Friends don't act the way me and Gyeongseok do. Even from the start.

 

The start when Young-mi and me suddenly got dragged in a room with barely a second to spare. I remember not even thinking clearly at first from all the chaos, until Young-mi started gushing and thanking the man who had saved us.

 

I remember looking up and just becoming speechless at the sight of him, not being able to say anything.

 

I remember the first thing I noticed about him was how his eyes crinkled when he smiled.

 

He was absolutely beautiful.

 

I remember Young-mi giving me a teasing smile and a soft punch before walking out.

 

"He's handsome huh?" Young-mi said.

 

"Uhhuh..." I replied.

 

I didn't really think much of it earlier, but did Young-mi see it even back then? Was that how obvious it was?

 

Young-mi...if only she could be here right now. If we had gotten out before that horrible game, she would've been alive. She would've been at that dinner with us.

 

She would've been right here right now. I could've told her about my stupid relationship problems and she could've told me everything about herself I never got to know.

 

The guns. She got shot.

 

Her final moments, her last words calling out to me.

 

The coffin, the pink bow...

 

She got dragged away to who knows where…I could've saved her.

 

I could’ve saved her.

 

"Unnie?" I hear.

 

I flinch, shaking, suddenly out of breath, I look around.

 

Relax. It's not a green room filled with blood. It's just my apartment.

 

I see Junhee's startled face looking at me. Then I realize. The voice wasn't Young-mi’s, it's Junhee.

 

Everything is okay. Everything is-

 

"Unnie? Are...you okay?" she asks.

 

She grabs Yeji in one arm and walks over to me to rub my back. I lean against the counter and sigh, "I don’t deserve any of you." I mutter.

 

"I feel like it's the opposite. You've been like a blessing to us. All of us."

 

"That's not true."

 

"No Unnie, think about it. You feel the need to literally sneak out of Korea to Thailand because you don't want anyone to make it a big deal. Because you already know they'll freak out since they love you so much."

 

I laugh, "It's more than that."

 

Yeji suddenly reaches out towards my finger and grips onto to it tight, a big adorable smile on her face.

 

Junhee smiles, spotting my chipped nail polish, "We should go get our nails done again before you leave, what do you think? Then we can go eat at that cafe you like. I won't mention Thailand once."

 

I look up at Junhee, giving her the warmest smile,

 

"That sounds perfect."

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

Today's the day I'm asking Hyunju to be my girlfriend.

 

I picked out a necklace with help from Yong-sik. I didn't want to tell Daeho about it yet since I know him and Junhee are close and I wouldn't want Junhee to tell Hyunju in case Daeho slipped up.

 

We agree to meet at a spot near the ocean, so I put Nayeon to bed as fast as I can and drive there as quickly as my car can go.

 

Maybe I was a little too antsy since I got here 15 minutes early.

 

My heart almost falls out of my chest when I see Hyunju walking over looking like an absolute angel.

 

I get up to hug her, "You look beautiful." I say holding her hands.

 

She smiles, "You tell me that all the time."

 

"It's because I mean it."

 

We both sit down on a big rock, watching the dark waves go back and forth with the wind. Usually this place is pretty crowded, but at night, it's a ghostown.

 

It's quiet.

 

I turn to look at her, it seems like she's deep in thought about something. I clear my throat,

 

"Um Hyunju? I...I wanted to meet you today to ask you something."

 

She gently moves the hair out of her face from the wind, "What is it?"

 

"Well..." I start, suddenly getting overwhelmingly nervous.

 

"Oh wait. I uh…I have something to tell you too and you probably want to hear it first." she says, looking tense.

 

I furrow my brows in curiosity, "Okay, sure. Go ahead."

 

She sighs, "Okay um so...I...got into the games because I needed money."

 

"Right..." I nod slowly, not quite understanding where this is going.

 

"Before my transition, I always felt like something was wrong with me. I was respected and loved, I had a job, many friends. I should've been happy, but there was just something about the way I cringed every time my parents would refer to me as their son, or my past girlfriend calling me oppa, it just didn't feel right."

 

I nod, listening carefully to every word.

 

She continues, "I never felt I belong here in Korea. I'm sick of all the weird stares and the questions and the never ending hatred towards me from everyone, especially in the beginning."

 

She shrugs, "It still happens now, but less since I can now afford to take estrogen."

 

I hum in agreement, "Your features have been changing, I've noticed that."

 

"In a good way?"

 

"Of course in a good way. But I don't think anything can make me think of you as anything but pretty."

 

She sadly smiles, "I wanted to get out of here, somewhere where's there's more people like me. That's when I found Thailand. And since then, it's been the place I've been wanting to live in for over a decade. I wanted it so much, I was willing to put my life on the risk for a chance to go."

 

"And now you can." I say, "You're gonna go to Thailand Hyunju."

 

She nods and grabs my hand, not looking at me, "Gyeongseok..."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I'm leaving."

 

I stay silent for a moment. Is she trying to tell me she wants to leave soon? I know that. I can help her work through it and I'll support her and-

 

"..When?" is all I manage to say.

 

Silence. Deafening silence.

 

"...3 days."

 

It takes a moment for her words to reach my brain. I'm frozen in shock as I see soft tears streaming down her face.

 

I pull my hand away, feeling so much at the same time,

 

"Hyunju?! Three days?!"

 

I've never screamed at her in my life, let alone be this angry at her, but she didn't tell me anything. She had everything planned out and just acted like things were fine in front of me,

 

"Hyunju!! Why wouldn’t you tell me?! Don’t you think maybe this is something I needed to know about earlier?!"

 

"I-I didn't know you would be this upset Gyeongseok.." she says, looking down.

 

I laugh in disbelief, my mouth still wide open, ignoring the heavy amount of tears falling from my eyes.

 

"I just..." she mumbles, "I didn't want anyone to make my leaving a big deal.."

 

"So you think telling me freaking THREE DAYS before you leave will make me fine about it?! Huh?!" I feel my voice breaking.

 

She stands up too, "I'm sorry! I didn't know you would think it's such a big deal! You knew I was going to Thailand eventually, and I didn't want to tell anyone before since I wanted to spend time with you guys without talking or worrying about Thailand!"

 

"Hyunju!..." I say, not being able to say anymore. It felt like my whole world was crushed. I spent the past week with her, not knowing it was my last.

 

"I'm sorry." she says again, "I really didn't know you would care so much. We only spend a short amount of time with each other anyway so I thought-"

 

"And you don't think I miss you every second?! Hyunju, you're the highlight of my whole week! Every second with you feels like I'm actually living and not just getting through life for once! It felt like that since the day I met you!"

 

She steps closer to me, "Why are you still fucking yelling at me?! Why do you keep saying these kinds of things?!"

 

"Because I love you!"

 

...

 

Silence.

 

There are a million things I want to say and do right now. But all I can do is just look at her.

 

Her hair that looks like it's being beautifully choreographed by the wind.

 

Her angelic tear streaked face.

 

Her expression changing from angry to I don't know what once I said those words.

 

"I love you." I repeat quieter, finally not feeling the need to shout.

 

"I've loved you all this time. Ever since the games and ever since we got out. Every kiss, every talk, every time we went out, I've loved you. I say you look beautiful every day, which is obviously fucking true, but I don't think you just look beautiful. You are beautiful. Your heart, your soul. The way you act and your smile, and this feeling I feel every time I'm with you and only you..."

 

I'm struggling at getting the words out at this point, wiping my waterfall of tears away as I do so. Through my extremely blurry vision, I see her wiping away her own.

 

"I'm sorry Hyunju..." I practically whisper.

 

She covers her eyes, quietly sobbing. I walk up and opens my arms, embracing her tightly.

 

We both fall to the ground, crying, clutching onto to each other as if it was our last, because it very well might be.

 

"I'm sorry." she mutters in my shoulder after some time.

 

I instantly feel bad and shake my head, "No. It’s…that's my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at you or made you feel bad about anything."

 

"I just...I just don't know how I'm supposed to tell anyone else like this."

 

"I'll tell them if it makes it easier. If I explain it to them, they'll understand why you didn't want to talk to them about this."

 

"But they deserve to hear it from me."

 

I nod, "Whatever you need. Whether you need to me to help, or to step back and leave you alone, I'll do whatever you need."

 

"Thank you."

 

She pulls away, wiping the last of her tears on her sleeve. I smile through my sadness.

 

I run my hand through her hair, my eyes never leaving hers,

 

"I'm really gonna miss you Hyunju..."

 

She nods and grabs my hands, "I'm gonna miss you too. More than you know..."

 

-

 

She had drove off first while I stayed back, lost in my thoughts.

 

I was a fool.

 

A stupid stupid fool.

 

What an idiot I was to think maybe Hyunju would feel the same way about me, and even if she only had three days left here, she probably didn't want to see me at all.

 

I never even should've said anything, why would I make her feel worse? I'm such a fricking idiot.

 

I get into my car, not wanting to drive to the hospital yet. I just needed to go somewhere. I don't even know where I was headed.

 

I drive a few minutes down to a random convenience store I've never been to before. I park my car near the road, breathing, needing a second, when suddenly I see a familiar person walk out of the store and sit down on a chair outside.

 

I take a closer look, leaning forward.

 

No.

 

It can't be.

 

I get out of my car, practically slamming the door shut as I run over to the man.

 

"Gihun-nim!"

 

-

 

Gihun POV:

 

I hear my name being called, but not from a familiar voice. I wonder if I should look up.

 

"Gihun-nim!" he repeats catching up to me, standing right in front of me.

 

I stop and look up, my eyes widening catching the sight of this person.

 

I don't remember his name or number, but he was in the games...or at least I think he was? Maybe I'm mixing things up.

 

"Were you..." I start.

 

"Gihun-nim." he repeats for a third time, "I'm not sure if you remember me. My name is Park Gyeongseok, I'm 246?"

 

"Right..." I say nodding. So he is from the games.

 

Gyeongseok sighs and takes a seat down next to me, "I can't believe I'm seeing you again. How have you been?"

 

I blink, "Nothing unusual."

 

"Are...you still trying to stop the games?"

 

I stay silent. Not wanting to answer since I don't know what my answer would be.

 

"That's okay you don't have to answer. I know we didn't know each other well from the games either." Gyeongseok says.

 

"I remember you. You were trying to help us stop the games. Thank you."

 

"I wish it would've worked."

 

"It never would've worked. I should’ve known my plan was doomed from the start. If 031 hadn’t stopped it right there, more people would’ve died. It's my fault."

 

Gyeongseok shakes his head, "It's not your fault Gihun-nim, it's those peoples’ fault for making us play those games like animals fighting to death."

 

Silence for a while.

 

Gyeongseok tilts his head, "Are you really doing okay Gihun-nim?"

 

Silence.

 

I didn't want to ignore him, but I lately find it easier to just not answer questions I don't want to answer rather than lying or spitting out some answer that doesn't make sense.

 

"How have you been?" I ask instead.

 

Gyeongseok sighs, closing his eyes tightly, "I'm not sure."

 

I raise a brow, turning my head slightly in his direction, "Not sure?"

 

Gyeongseok shakes his head, "Hyunju's leaving for Thailand in three days."

 

Wait a second. Hyunju? They're still in contact?

 

"I didn't know she was because she didn't tell me. So I thought maybe Junhee-"

 

Junhee? What?

 

I hold up a hand, causing him to stop speaking, "Wait a minute. How are you all still in contact?" I ask

 

Gyeongseok nods and explains how he ran into Daeho and Junhee at the hospital with Hyunju after being dropped off with the grandma's son. Turns out they all shared a little friendship with each other after the games.

 

It made me so happy. Really. So happy.

 

The games. The gruesome games that seemed to be an area of death, have somehow formed a bond of love with these few people from the games.

 

"Wow." I say, "You all still talk..."

 

Gyeongseok nods, "We have group dinners once in a while too. We'd love for you to come join us. We actually talked about you at our last dinner, wondering where you were and everything."

 

I furrow my brows, "Wait, Hyunju's leaving in three days?"

 

Gyeongseok stops talking and sighs, "Yup three days."

 

"You all must be sad huh..."

 

"Yeah, I really love her. I'm gonna miss her."

 

"You love her?"

 

"I do. It's kinda hard not to."

 

"I always seen you guys together all the time during the games. I didn't know something was going on between you two though." I say, feeling the smallest smile creep on my face.

 

He laughs, "I don't know...I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend today but she told me she was leaving in three days for the first time today so I didn't."

 

"Why not?"

 

Gyeongseok leans back in his seat, "I felt like she did feel the same way, but if she did, she would've told me she loved me when I told her.”

 

I nod, listening carefully, trying to make the next words that come out of my mouth make sense,

 

“Gyeongseok. I have a daughter.”

 

He looks at me curiously, I continue,

 

“Before these games, I had won the money and was ready to go to the US to meet her, until I decided to turn around to try and stop the games.”

 

My heart sinks thinking about this moment, I blink, “I want to stop the games more than anything in this world. I’ll go my entire life dedicating it to stopping it…but I regret every single day of my life that I missed out on a chance to see my beautiful daughter again.”

 

I turn to him, “Ask her Gyeongseok, or you might go your entire life wishing you would’ve.”

 

Gyeongseok stays silent, looking down at his shoes. He’s thinking about it. Good.

 

I brush of my pants and slowly stand up, “I need to go now. It was nice seeing you Gyeongseok.”

 

He stands up with me, shaking my hand and bowing, “Thank you Gihun-nim. If you’re available, please join us for our next dinner. We’d really love to have you.”

 

I pause for a moment, “I’ll-I’ll think about it.”

 

We bow one more time and I watch as he drives off in his car.

 

I start walking back to my home, my mind still replaying our conversation.

 

I really couldn’t believe everyone was still in contact, true friendships were made. And Gyeongseok, he found love there.

 

Humans are selfish. Nearly half of the people there wanted to keep playing, wanted to kill as many people as they could just so they could get some cash. Only saw for themselves.

 

But humans are also people. People with emotions. They can be kind, willing to risk anything to save others and be able to form a friendship in the worst circumstances possible.

 

I stare at Gyeongseok’s number in my phone, praying that he does the right thing.

 

Don’t make the same mistake I did.

Chapter Text

Hyunju POV:

 

It's the day before I leave Korea. My house is finally completely empty with nothing but my suitcases next to the door.

 

I dreamed of this day a million times for the last decade, but I didn't know I'd feel so bittersweet about it.

 

In exactly 8 hours, I'm leaving behind everything from my life so far, and it's not as happy as I thought it would be.

 

I probably should've thought it through more since my friends didn't quite take the "Me leaving in two days" lightly.

 

I told Yong-sik and Geum-ja together, and Yong-sik didn't seem surprised at all, so I'm assuming Gyeongseok must have told him or mentioned something about it, which did make it easier for me.

 

But Geum-ja on the other hand, was absolutely devastated. She wouldn't stop crying for like 30 minutes straight until I assured her many times I will come to visit often.

 

Telling Daeho wasn't horrible, since I had Junhee (and Yeji) with me during that, but it was still tough. Another round of tears and all.

 

I walk over to my kitchen and sit, leaning on the oven. This was my sitting spot lately since all the chairs in here were gone.

 

I try to fill my mind with happy thoughts, but all I could think of was "This is my last day living in Korea."

 

It must get easier right? This is just the hard part.

 

Just then, I hear a ring from my phone and sprint to the other side of the room to get it.

 

It's Junhee.

 

I pick it up, making my voice sound as normal as possible, "Hello?"

 

"I'm at your door." she deadpans.

 

"Huh?" I ask, turning my head towards the door.

 

"I'm at your door, open up."

 

I start walking over and unlocking it, "What ever happened to 'Hi, how are you?'" I mumble.

 

I open up to see a smiling Junhee in front of me. Her smile instantly fades away once she gets a glimpse of me,

 

"Unnie? Why are you still in pajamas? It's 1 pm."

 

I groan, feeling more annoyed than embarrassed, "Is that the only reason you came over?"

 

"...Unnie, we're getting our nails done and grabbing lunch before we drive to the airport remember?"

 

Oh. Right.

 

"Shoot." I say covering my mouth, "What time is the appointment?"

 

"1:30, and it's a 10 minute drive from here, so you got like 20 minutes to fix all of...this." she gestures to me with her hands.

 

I snort, opening the door wider to let her inside, "It's fine, I'll just change and do my makeup quickly."

 

Junhee gives me a look, "Since when have you ever done your makeup quickly?"

 

"Since...today." I say grabbing my makeup bag from my purse and walking to the bathroom. I must say I feel significantly better once she arrived.

 

She follows me in and leans against the wall as I try and get through my makeup routine done as quickly as possible. I can't talk either so Junhee's practically giving me a quick run down of her day.

 

It's nice to listen. To not talk about Thailand for once.

 

But at the same time, I'm trying so hard not to mess up my mascara, so I'm only listening to about 20% of what she's saying.

 

I'm catching some of it though. Apparently, Daeho is now Yeji's "unofficial-official" dad, so the three of them are almost together 24/7 each day.

 

"Even when I tell him it's okay to go home, he insists on staying with us." she says, "I can't believe it sometimes, it's not even his kid. Even her real father wants nothing to do with her, but Daeho who I knew for like 4 days before giving birth is caring for her like his own."

 

I nod, carefully brushing my cheeks with light pink blush.

 

I check the clock.

 

1:06. I'm still good.

 

"And he's trying to help me out too. He literally goes out to buy groceries. Not for him. For me. And then he sometimes gets me flowers too, like what the heck Unnie?! Who does that?"

 

I scoff as I tap my brush in my powder, "And...do you think there's a reason for all this?"

 

"Yeah, he doesn't need to work yet, so obviously he has nothing else to do except hang out with us."

 

I over exaggerate a nod and close up my bag, grabbing a clip to tie up my hair, "Yeah, that must be it. No other reason."

 

"What does that mean?" she says with a suspicious look on her face.

 

I clap my hands and rush out the bathroom, "Okay I'm done, see? And it's only 1:12. Now let's go."

 

I grab my keys and my purse and rush to the door,

 

"Wait, Unnie!" Junhee calls out.

 

I turn around and make a face, "What?"

 

'You're still in your pajamas."

 

-

 

"I still don't know why you chose green for your nails. I thought you hated that color." Junhee says, taking a bite of her acai bowl.

 

I smile, playing with the straw of my smoothie, "I do."

 

Junhee stares at me with the funniest confused face ever which makes me burst out laughing.

 

"Did you like...get inspired by the trees on the way here or something?" she sarcastically adds.

 

"No" I say shaking my head and grinning, "Um...Gyeongseok told me to paint them green the first time we talked during the games so...it's just my way of remembering that night I guess."

 

She pauses.

 

"Unnie?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You're crying."

 

"Am I?"

 

I laugh and pull out my phone camera to lightly dab off my tears as to not ruin my makeup. I sigh.

 

Junhee softly grins, "Is that when you fell in love with him?"

 

I smile while reminiscing the memories, "No, not back then. The moment I fell in love with him was after the games, when one time he so was excited to see me and tripped over his own feet like an idiot. I was trying so hard not to laugh when I was helping him up, but it was so cute."

 

Junhee snorts and spoons another bite, "Wow...Shakespeare could never."

 

I cover my mouth as I laugh, "It was funnier in the moment, I can't explain it."

 

She shrugs and shakes her head, looking up to think, "Now I just wonder when he fell in love with you."

 

"From the beginning he said. He told me."

 

Junhee stops eating and stares blanky at me, "He told you that?! When?"

 

"Like three days ago..."

 

Junhee's jaw drops, "You're telling me three days too late then Unnie! What did you say to that?! Did he ask you to be his girlfriend?!"

 

"No!" I say shaking my hands, "He didn't! I told you Junhee, he doesn't want a relationship with me. Actually, I was thinking about it and he probably meant 'I love you' in a platonic way anyway and-"

 

Junhee covers her face, groaning, and leaning back so far into her chair I thought she'd might tip over.

 

She finally leans back forward after a few seconds and takes a deep breath, talking quietly, "Unnie, Just letting you know that I am trying so hard not to freak out in a cafe full of people right now."

 

I roll my eyes, taking a sip of my smoothie.

 

"Unnie!" she repeats, "What part of 'I've desperately loved you ever since the beginning' is platonic to you?!"

 

"Well, he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend, so...all of it."

 

Junhee angrily sighs, visibly trying to compose herself, "So...if he had asked you, would you have said yes?"

 

"....No."

 

"You hesitated."

 

"Junhee, I told you, I can't do long distance. It won't work out. I'm not letting Gyeongseok become one of my exes because I made a stupid decision. After I leave, he'll find someone better for him and forget all about me. It'll be fine."

 

"Who could be better than you?" asks Junhee, "I didn't even need to hear the confirmation that he told you he loved you because I already saw it from the start. You're literally the reason he breathes."

 

I snort, "Well, it's too late to talk about any of this now because I'm leaving in like...3 hours."

 

Junhee's face gets sad and she reaches out for my hands, "You're coming to visit here again right? And I'll go and visit you too."

 

I softly laugh, "You will?"

 

"Hello? Of course I will! We all will. Daeho's already studying Thai."

 

"No he is not."

 

"I wish I was lying."

 

-

 

7:33 pm.

 

Less than 2 hours until my flight.

 

Me and Junhee are driving to the airport, my bags all packed and ready. Can't say the same about me.

 

As we drive past a familiar road, I clear my throat,

 

"Could we um...stop by the hospital real fast?"

 

Junhee furrows her brows and nods curiously, "You wanna say goodbye to Gyeongseok?"

 

"The opposite actually. He usually grabs dinner for him and Nayeon around 7:30 ish, and I have something to give to Nayeon and I don't want him to be there. If I see him right now, I don't think I'll be able to leave."

 

Junhee nods and a few minutes later, we're right in the parking lot of the hospital.

 

"Quickly now." Junhee teases.

 

I thank her and run inside the door, praying that Gyeongseok would not be there.

 

Once I reach Nayeon's room I press my ear against the door, trying to hear for Gyeongseok's voice.

 

Nothing.

 

I carefully open the door and look around.

 

I was right. Gyeongseok's out. It's just Nayeon and her adorable little smile smiling at me. She gasps and reaches her arms out for a hug.

 

"Imo! You came back!"

 

I try so hard not cry as I embrace her in a hug. I pull back and clear my throat,

 

"Nayeon, I have something to give you." I say as I reach into my bag.

 

"What is it?"

 

I pull out a mini strawberry keychain and hand it to her,

 

"I have one hooked on my bag too, see?" I say, gesturing to my purse with the same keychian hanging on the handle.

 

Nayeon smiles brightly, "We can be matching!"

 

"Yeah..." I say smiling sadly.

 

I reach back into my bag and pull out a sealed letter, "And this...this is for your dad okay?"

 

Nayeon takes and inspects the letter, tilting her head, "What's inside?"

 

"Your dad will tell you once he reads it, but if you open it first, it'll be ripped and your dad will be really sad okay?"

 

Nayeon nods, "Okay."

 

"Oh, but one thing Nayeona. Give it to him tomorrow okay? Not today."

 

"Why not today?"

 

I search my brain for a clever lie to come up with but all I'm thinking about right now if to get out of here before Gyeongseok comes back,

 

"I-um...uh- just... Nayeon, can you please just give that to him tomorrow?" I plead, reaching for the door.

 

"Okay, but wait! Will I see you again soon?"

 

I gulp away the sadness and nod, not turning back around, "You'll see me again Nayeon, don't worry."

 

"Okay, Bye Imo!" she says happily.

 

"Bye" I quietly say before walking out and closing the door.

 

I race my way out of the hospital as to not accidentally run into Gyeongseok on the way out. I manage to make it outside without getting spotted and I start walking back to the car.

 

It felt stupid for trying to avoid someone I love like this, but I've never felt this way before about anyone.

 

I've never truly loved anyone like this before. I don't know what to do about it.

 

Because if Gyeongseok appeared in front of me right now, telling me to stay in Korea with him so we can be together, I probably would drop all of my plans I have right now to do so.

 

This is so lame. I'm so lame.

 

I walk back to to the car, opening the door and hopping back in.

 

"How was it?" Junhee asks.

 

I sigh, "I'm gonna miss Nayeon too."

 

-

 

Gyeongseok POV:

 

7:47 pm.

 

I'm driving back to the hospital after picking up dinner. I park my car in a slot and just sit there for a few minutes.

 

Hyunju's probably at the airport right now...she probably will forget about me once she lands in her dream country.

 

And as much as I wanted to say goodbye, I don't think I could handle one.

 

I'm gonna miss her so much.

 

I love her so much.

 

And that's probably why she hasn't reached out the past few days. Because I likely made things weird with the whole 'I love you to the ends of the earth' confession.

 

I'm so incredibly stupid.

 

I walk out the car and slowly make my way to Nayeon's room. I knock on the door and open it up, Nayeon immediately sitting up and greeting me,

 

"Dad, you took so long! I'm hungry."

 

Well, more or less a greeting.

 

I chuckle and sit down beside her opening up her meal, "Sorry sweetheart, I got caught up in traffic."

 

Nayeon starts eating and I rub her head, "How is it?"

 

"Good." she mutters, which makes me laugh.

 

"Okay, well you eat first. I'm gonna go take a shower okay?"

 

"Wait dad!"

 

"Yeah?"

 

Nayeon reaches for one of her books and opens up a page with something inside it.

 

"Hyunju Imo said this is for you."

 

I'm speechless for a moment as hesitantly take the letter, "Nayeona, are you sure?"

 

Nayeon nods, "She just came over a bit ago and gave me this keychain too! She said to give that letter to you today and definitely not tomorrow."

 

I raise an eyebrow and carefully rip open the letter. I feel Nayeon's eyes on me as I unfold the note inside and read it...

 

Gyeongseok,

 

I think I'd regret not ever telling you how I have felt all this time, so I guess this letter will do.

Thank you for saving me that day during mingle when I was ready to stand there and die.

Thank you for being there and always talking with me when I felt alone during the games.

I've never felt anyone has ever benefited anything when they're around me, but hearing what

you said three days ago to me, it was the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me. I

didn't know I was capable of making someone feel that way about me, because I don't even

love myself. But you taught me so much about love, about trust. Every day, just talking with you

made me feel so much better. I really love you Gyeongseok. I do. This isn't a response to your

confession, but just a confession from me to you. It's always been you, and I'm sorry I haven't

made it clear all this time. You are the most amazing person I have ever met in my life, and I'd go

through a thousand games just to meet you once more. And please do contact me again, as I

know I have been kinda avoiding everybody lately... Thank you for supporting me always. I'm

gonna miss you so much, and I wish I could say goodbye to you. But I'll be back. I promise.

 

Love Hyunju

 

-

 

I stare at the letter for a moment, not being able fully registering what my eyes are seeing.

 

"What does it say?" Nayeon asks.

 

I glance up at her, getting up to grab my jacket again.

 

"Are you leaving?"

 

"Just for a little while okay Nayeona? You'll be good here right?"

 

"What did Imo say?"

 

I can't keep the smile off my face as I reach for the door handle. I turn to Nayeon one last time,

 

"That she loves me."

Chapter Text

Junhee POV:

 

We arrive at the airport at around 8:30. An hour before her flight.

 

I insist to taking one of her bags inside, because one, I wanted to help and two because I didn't want her to shoo me away after I dropped her off.

 

We check in for the flight, and take her suitcases; the suitcases I've only ever seen at her house.

 

Before I want to, it's time for us to separate.

 

I intend to make it meaningful, but I know I'm going to turn into a blubbering mess if I try and speak more than three words.

 

Instead, Hyunju brings me in for a hug. I hug her the tightest I ever have, because who knows how long I have to wait before the next one.

 

Streams of tears start falling down my face. I do a bad job of concealing my crying noises, because the second Hyunju hears me, she starts crying with me.

 

She's my best friend, the person who stayed with me throughout the games, and outside of the games. And as much as I wanted her to stay in Korea with me forever, she deserves this more than anyone.

 

"Okay.." I say, my voice cracking, "You don't want to miss your flight or anything."

 

Hyunju laughs, wiping her tears, "I won't."

 

"You're gonna love it okay? Just don't forget about us."

 

Hyunju holds my hands, "I could never forget about any of you, you know that."

 

I nod and pat her back, trying to catch my breath, "Okay...now, leave. Go have fun Unnie."

 

Hyunju gives me one more smile and walks away, slowly making it out of my sight. I watch as her figure gets smaller and smaller, until she makes a turn and I can't see her anymore.

 

And even when she's completely out of my sight, my eyes can't seem to move from where she last was.

 

It really hits me in this moment. She's really leaving for good.

 

I sit on a nearby bench and continue to quietly sob until I felt like I couldn't anymore. The airport isn't bustling with people, so I didn't feel too bad about making a scene.

 

I lean back against the wall and take a deep sigh. I close my eyes, not even caring about how much of an emotional wreck I must look like right now.

 

What are any of us going to do without her? Who am I supposed to laugh and cry and discuss stupid random topics with when she's not here?

 

She feels like family.

 

I seem to not notice anything around me at this moment because I suddenly hear a "Junhee?"

 

I look up. Daeho? With Yeji?

 

Once he sees my most likely ugly red face, he kneels down in front of me and gives me a hug with the arm that isn't holding Yeji.

 

"I got worried," he says, "You were supposed to be home by now, but I checked your location and you were still here so I thought something happened."

 

I take a sigh, "You didn't have to come all the way over here, It's just Hyunju...I'm gonna miss her."

 

Daeho gives me a smile and takes my hand, "I know...she's the best."

 

He pauses,

 

"...Well...second best."

 

This makes me laugh, I clear my throat and check my phone for the time. My eyes widen in surprise,

 

"9:13?! I've been here for almost 45 minutes?"

 

Daeho chuckles and helps me up, rubbing my shoulder, "Let's get home Junhee."

 

We both walk to the door, and outside, the chilly breeze feeling cooling on my hot face. We were about to cross the crosswalk when,

 

"DAEHO! JUNHEE!"

 

This makes both of our heads turn immediately to the left.

 

Gyeongseok...

 

What is he doing here?

 

"Junhee-ya!" Gyeongseok says, running up to me frantically, "Which gate is Hyunju in?"

 

I barely understand his words because of how much he's panting. My eyes flash to Daeho's, then back at Gyeongseok, feeling speechless for a moment,

 

"U-um, her uh....plane is taking off in 15 minutes." I manage.

 

He shakes his head, "I'll make it, what gate?"

 

I hesitate for a moment. Hyunju clearly stated she did not want to say a final goodbye to Gyeongseok like this.

 

But I'm looking into Gyeongseok's eyes and there is something there I've never seen before. I know deep down he wouldn't have any intentions of doing anything to make her uncomfortable, but Hyunju said multiple times she doesn't want to see him for a final time.

 

"Junhee please..." he pleads, "I know we agreed on me not coming to the airport like this, but I need you to tell me where she is before I regret anything."

 

Pause.

 

And for some reason in this very moment, I feel like I need to trust him.

 

I sigh a nervous sigh, "...Gate L."

 

Gyeongseok doesn't say another word before rushing through the doors and towards... well Gate L I'm assuming.

 

Daeho watches as he runs in, "What...do you think he's gonna do?"

 

I laugh, "Tell her he loves her...again."

 

"Wait huh?! He said that?! No one told me anything about this!" Daeho gawks, completely surprised.

 

"I'll tell you what happened when we get home, now let me hold her."

 

Daeho hands a tired Yeji to me and stretches out his arms, "I mean...it's about time. They've been so obvious for so long."

 

"I know..." I say smiling to myself, "Like maybe if one of them expressed their feelings a little earlier, none of this would've happened."

 

Daeho gets suddenly quiet, cheeks bubbled up, "So...you're saying it's better if someone expresses that like...super obviously?"

 

I raise my eyebrows, "I mean, yeah? I guess so."

 

Daeho then turns to look at me, a small smile on his face, then looks back in front of him, "Okay..."

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing, lets go home."

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

I feel stupid for checking my phone every second, hoping for some text from someone to make me feel better about leaving.

 

These last few minutes of standing foot on Korea feels like they're passing by so slowly.

 

I try and talk to myself in my mind repeatedly how much I needed to get out of this country, but it makes me feel worse.

 

I lug my carry on bag on my back and walk to the bathroom. I fix my makeup, although it will probably ruined on a 6 hour flight anyway.

 

As one young girl walks out of one of the stalls, I feel her eyes on me although I'm trying not to make it obvious I see her.

 

She walks up right next me and washes her hands.

 

Then she turns to me.

 

I mentally sigh, bracing myself for whatever comment she's going to make.

 

"What brand is your lipstick? I really like that color on you"

 

Oh.

 

It takes me a moment to register what she had just asked.

 

"Oh u-uh this?" I stutter, "Thank you- it's...um...oh! right it uh- it says it right here, Peripera."

 

I can see her trying not to laugh at my horrible attempt at speaking as she grabs a paper towel to wipe her hands,

 

"Peripera. I'll keep that in mind." she says before waving and walking out.

 

I smile, feeling overwhelmed at this tiny interaction.

 

It makes me realize not all people in Korea are bad, you just need to find the right ones. And thats what I did. I found my family.

 

"Boarding in ten minutes" I hear from the loudspeaker which makes me jump before realizing it wasn't about to announce the next game.

 

I walk out of the bathroom and walk back to where the seats were. I stand right in front of a glass wall in the seating area, watching as a plane takes off and slowly disappears into the night sky.

 

I smile and sigh, not knowing how to describe my feelings right now.

 

It reminds me of one particular night with Gyeongseok.

 

When we were walking down some street together at night. And I pointed to the sky at a huge star as we walked,

 

"Gyeongseok, look at that star right there."

 

"Which one?"

 

"The big one. The one literally right in front of your face."

 

"Ohh...dang...thats huge."

 

I closed my eyes and put my hands together. Once I opened them he raised his brows, "What was that?"

 

"I made a wish."

 

He chuckled and shook his head, "What did you wish for?"

 

"No telling, now its your turn."

 

He sighed and stopped to kiss me, his hands cupping my cheeks gently. Once he pulled back, he looked at me sweetly, "I don't know what I would even wish for. I feel like I have everything already. Right here."

 

And as I watch the plane leave my view completely, I think to myself,

 

Gyeongseok did love me. Even back then. No matter how many times I denied it to myself, he still did. And it hurts realizing now after its too late...

 

"Hyunju?"

 

I don't turn around at the familiar voice. It's Gyeongseok. Am I going crazy? I must be crazy. Great. Now I have to go on estrogen and medication for hallucinations.

 

But as I turn around, I realize I'm not dreaming. He's here.

 

He looks exactly the same as he normally does, but it's the first time I've seen him like this.

 

He walks up to me and hugs me tightly without a word. I hug him back, despite feeling absolutely confused.

 

"I...got your letter." he said quietly.

 

Oh.

 

I try blinking away my tears as I hug him tighter. I feel his body slightly shaking. I don't dare to let go in this moment.

 

"I love you Hyunju. I love you, I love you." he says, almost a whisper.

 

I clutch onto him as tight as I can and completely break down, every breath feeling like a gasp of pain.

 

And he lets me cry.

 

"I love you too." I manage to choke out, trying to stop myself from hyperventilating.

 

He smiles and wipes the tears off my face with his sleeve.

 

Then he kisses me.

 

I thought I loved kissing him before, but it was a million times better once the walls of denial and rules were down.

 

How did we even get here in the first place?

 

The kiss wasn't anything we hadn't done before. It was gentle, like he was afraid to break something delicate.

 

He breaks away for a moment, our lips still grazing in the slightest.

 

He kisses my cheek, pulling back and smiling, "I love you so much. So much." he says.

 

I look down and laugh, not believing he could say that to me right now when I probably look like a mess.

 

"5 minutes until boarding"

 

Gyeongseok's eyes widen in shock. He sighs, "Okay I better make this quick...Hyunju...that day when you told me you were going to Thailand in three days, I was actually planning on...asking you to be my girlfriend."

 

"Wait...What?" I say in disbelief.

 

"I know you've had bad experiences in the past, but after your letter, I needed to come and try to ask you again."

 

"But Gyeongseok...."

 

He waits for me to say something, but nothing comes out.

 

I want to protest and I don't even know why. Maybe it's because I feel like I'll ruin everything with him and we'll never speak again.

 

Maybe it's because I'm scared he'll turn out to be like every other disgusting guy I talk to, even if I know it's not true.

 

Maybe it's because I've always had this feeling that no one could ever love the broken person I am.

 

"Hyunju...I really don't think anyone could possibly come close to how much I love you. You could run me over with your car and I'd compliment your precision."

 

I laugh and shake my head at his ridiculousness. He continues

 

"So please...I know long distance will be hard, but if you could just give us a chance, I really want to try Hyunju."

 

I think for a moment, then slowly nod,

 

"Okay...but...not yet."

 

I look up at him, grabbing his hand,

 

"I want to Gyeongseok. Of course I want to, but can we just see how we communicate while I'm there and then see how it goes after?"

 

For a moment, I see a slight look of disappointment on Gyeongseok's face but he nods,

 

"Of course. Anything. I suppose that would be better too...oh but before you go..."

 

He pulls out a keychain with a selfie of all of us from the night we had dinner together.

 

Daeho was taking the picture, and Junhee was holding Yeji up with the biggest smile on her face. Geum-ja and Yong-sik were in the back, waving at the camera. Me and Gyeongseok were both holding up a peace sign, but with different hands.

 

I smile, admiring the photo that rushed back memories, "I love it." I say. I look up at him and quickly kiss him one more time, "I love you."

 

"Gate L Boarding"

 

Gyeongseok flinches, he clears his throat, "Shoot...okay you better go now. I'll kill myself if you miss your flight."

 

"Okok..goodbye Gyeongseok."

 

"Bye Hyunju, text me when you get off."

 

I smile and turn to him one more time before walking to the check in area to board.

 

And as I get on the plane, I take a look out the window and sigh.

 

I really shouldn't have tried so hard to avoid him all this time. This goodbye is exactly what I needed.

 

Gosh I have so much to tell Junhee.

 

-

 

Gyeongseok POV:

 

"Dad you're back!"

 

"Nayeon? You're still awake?" I say softly, closing the door behind me. I'm suddenly feeling terrible for leaving her here alone for so long.

 

"I can't sleep when you're not here."

 

I sigh and sit next to her, "I'm sorry sweetheart, I shouldn't have left like that."

 

"It's okay, I forgive you." she yawns.

 

I smile and rub her hand as she leans back,

 

"What did Hyunju Imo say? Are you guys getting married?"

 

I snicker, "Um...no not yet Nayeon."

 

She grins and rubs her eyes, "Aww...but she said loves you."

 

"Well...yes but-"

 

"Wait. Do you not love Imo?"

 

"Um- no! I do love her."

 

"Then you guys will be together, right?"

 

I lean back against my chair and tilt my head, "I hope so Nayeona."

 

"...Dad?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Can you read me something for bed?"

 

"Of course sweetheart."

Chapter Text

Hyunju POV:

 

6 hours.

 

It was the longest flight of my life, because I knew once I got off the plane, I'd be there. In Thailand.

 

I'm actually going. I could barely contain myself the second I stepped into the airport.

 

Everything was different. It was harder getting to the right areas in the airport than in Korea. It sucks that I still can't read Thai perfectly even after studying the language for years.

 

I grab my bags and wait for my uber to come pick me up.

 

As I wait, I take a moment to just take the whole thing in. I could be tricking myself, but I swear the air felt different.

 

I feel like I'm dreaming. I'm not dreaming...right?....

 

-

 

I get to my hotel a few minutes later. I settle my suitcases and bags in the corner of the room and take a look out the window.

 

I smile. Just a few days until I move into my apartment.

 

I pull my phone out from my bag and send a text to everyone, letting them know I landed safely.

 

It's 1 am here in Thailand, and 3 am in Korea, so I expected them to text me back in the morning.

 

Imagine my surprise when get a call from Junhee. I answer.

 

"UNNIE! YOU MADE IT!" she screams through the phone.

 

I laugh, pulling the phone away from my ear in lighting speed from the loud noise, "Junhee! You scared me! And why are you still up? Isn't it 3 am there?"

 

"Because we were waiting for you to land! We're not even tired, right Daeho?"

 

"Hyunju! How's it it there?!" I hear Daeho say.

 

"Hi Daeho." I smile, "Thailand is...well, I've only been here for like 5 minutes so I'm not completely-"

 

"Wait Unnie!" Junhee gasps.

 

"...Uhhh yeah?"

 

"Just a question, what did Gyeongseok say to you before you left? He came up to us and ran inside like a madman. He wasn't... like- convincing you to stay right?" Junhee asks quietly, a hint of fear in her voice.

 

"Oh nonono." I say shaking my head, "He just wanted to tell me he'll miss me, that's it."

 

"Any relationship status updates between you two then?" Daeho says. I can practically hear his grin.

 

I sigh, "No Daeho, still the same."

 

"Mannn...this slow burn is too slow."

 

"How do you feel Unnie?" Junhee asks

 

I sigh, "I feel really really good."

 

I hear Junhee sigh a happy sigh,

 

"Okay well we won't keep you for too long, just wanted to make sure you're okay, now go to sleep and have fun tomorrow, We love you!" Junhee says.

 

I laugh, "I love you guys too! bye bye."

 

As soon as I hang up, I immediately get another facetime call, but from Gyeongseok. Why is everybody up so late? I make sure to straighten my bangs out before picking up. Like Gyeongseok hasn't seen me in worse condition.

 

"Hyunju!" Gyeongseok says with a huge smile on his face. He pans the camera around. He's at Geum-ja's place and I see her and Yong-sik next to him, waving at the camera, clearly a little exhausted.

 

"Oh my gosh! Hi guys!" I say waving back.

 

Gyeongseok brings the camera back to his own face, "I came over a while ago and we were all waiting for you to land but they kept falling asleep." he says turning to them both teasingly.

 

"That's because you sleep at 6 am everyday anyway since you and Hyunju are always up doing who knows what together!" Yong-sik scoffs.

 

Gyeongseok smacks him out of frame. It still makes me laugh,

 

"Why is everyone still up? Junhee just called me and her and Daeho are still awake right now too."

 

"Really?! And here I was thinking we were special."

 

"I can't believe you guys are all crazy enough to stay awake for this long."

 

Geum-ja sntaches the phone from him, "Hyunju, how are you feeling?" she asks

 

"I feel great." I say truthfully, "I'm so excited to move in in a few days."

 

"Right right, make sure to keep your fridge full and keep your place clean okay?"

 

"I will, thank you." I giggle, "You guys really should go to sleep though."

 

"No argument here." Yong-sik says, stretching and standing up. He walks over and gets close to the camera, "Night Hyunju, make sure to send lots of pictures."

 

"Goodnight Yong-sik, I will, don't you worry."

 

"Goodnight Hyunjuya, stay safe okay?" Geum-ja says with a big smile. It makes my homesick heart ache a little.

 

"Goodnight Halmoni." I wave.

 

Gyeongseok stands up and walks toward the door, "I'm leaving now too or else I won't be awake tomorrow."

 

I hear Yong-sik and Geum-ja say goodbyes to him before he shuts the door and walks outside.

 

We're silent for a second before he laughs and shakes his head, "I wanna kiss you so bad right now it's not even funny."

 

I burst out laughing, "Were you waiting to leave to say that?"

 

He smirks while opening his door and getting inside. He props the phone onto his cup holder, "I can't say this stuff in front of them. I heard they all already have bets on when we start dating."

 

"Oh my gosh." I say covering my mouth, "You're joking."

 

"I wouldn't be." he says, trying to back up but crashing into something on the way out. His eyes widen and he whips his head around.

 

I laugh again, feeling at home, "You're so stupid."

 

"Glad to provide you your daily dose of entertainment." he says with a sarcastic smile.

 

He gets on the road, his phone falling a few times as we talked about my travel. I insisted it was okay to keep it down, but he always refused,

 

"Ok enough about me, how's Nayeon doing?"

 

Gyeongseok smiles, "She's doing amazing Hyunju. I think she's going home soon, thank the stars."

 

"Wow...I'm so proud of her. I wish I could be there when she does."

 

"She really loves you. She falls asleep every night with that plush you gave her."

 

"Stop it, I'm gonna cry."

 

I watch as he parks his car in the parking lot of the hospital. He picks up his phone and starts walking back,

 

"We should hang up now and you should get some sleep." I say.

 

Gyeongseok frowns, looking at the camera, "Really?"

 

"Gyeongseok, it's 3 am."

 

"It's not even that late."

 

"You need rest for Nayeon." That always seems to do the trick.

 

"Alright fine...but let's call tomorrow?"

 

"We will. Goodnight Gyeongseok."

 

"Goodnight Hyunju, I love you."

 

I gulp, feeling a thick lump suddenly form in my throat. I look up at the ceiling, blinking away any tears,

 

"I love you too, sleep quickly."

 

I hang up the phone, sighing and closing my eyes. I wish I didn't have to miss Korea so much. I shouldn't, but I do.

 

I turn on the TV as a distraction and walk to the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror.

 

I tilt my head, analyzing the parts of me I would want to change. Then I remind myself of the whole reason I came here in the first place.

 

I'm gonna finally become a woman. A real woman. And I can't wait.

 

-

 

Gyeongseok POV:

 

"Gyeongseok! Come in come in."

 

I bow and walk into Geum-ja's house for yet another dinner. I was running later than I usually do since Nayeon had a hard time sleeping tonight, but I made it.

 

I look around the room and this time, I see Gihun holding Yeji, sitting down at the table too.

 

We lock eyes from the door and I beam, "Hyung! You made it!"

 

Gihun gives me the smallest smile, but not saying anything.

 

I greet the others and and sit down, sighing and leaning back.

 

The conversation this time is mainly focused on Gihun and where he's been after everything. Having a new guest means new things to talk about, since I think our group has talked about everything under the sun.

 

"I've just been feeling lost after everything. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to stop the games so bad, but is there any way to?"

 

"Sir..." Junhee says, "I don't think there is. You saw what happened."

 

Yong-sik nods, "Yeah, and if that one guy hadn't come in all of a sudden and killed everybody, we wouldn't be alive right now."

 

Gihun looks down, "I'm just glad you all found each other. I just wish it could've been under better circumstances."

 

Daeho grins, "Oh yeah, I love these guys to death. None of us wouldn't have known each other if not for the games. And did you hear our boy Gyeongseok even found a girl there?"

 

"Daeho..." I groan, covering my face.

 

"I heard..." said Gihun.

 

"Falling in love on the brink of death, Isn't that the cutest story you've ever heard? Someone should write a book about this. Imagine the stories they can tell their future children...oh...wait nevermind. I forgot." Yong-sik adds.

 

Geum-ja slaps Yong-sik on the arm, "Yong-sik! And you told me not to be rude."

 

I feel myself getting hot. In this very second, I just want to crawl under the table and die.

 

Junhee laughs awkwardly, "Alright guys, stop it. I think he's gonna seriously pass out if you keep going."

 

"Okay okay..." Daeho says, resting his head on his face, "They're just so adorable together I can't help it."

 

Yong-sik leans in, "Gihun Hyung, we all have bets for when we think they'll officially start dating, so...what's your guess?"

 

Gihun laughs, "Um....two months?"

 

"Hey no! That's mine!" Daeho says.

 

"No it's not! You said three!"

 

"I said two Yong-sik! Check the tapes!"

 

"We have no tapes!"

 

I awkwardly look at Junhee who gives me an apologetic smile. I close my eyes, feeling both embarrassed and amused.

 

They're never letting this go...

 

-

 

As the days go by, I expected myself to miss Hyunju less and less, but all I did was think about her more...

 

My mind going blank whenever I see a tall girl with bangs walking down the street...

 

Getting reminded of her whenever I see something she'd might like...

 

Scrolling through all the pictures we ever took together...

 

Whenever we have a call together, it pains me to end it. The deafening silence after the "goodbye" always hitting me hard.

 

I'm a complete mess.

 

Even every time someone opens the door in the hospital, I look up, hoping for a second that it could be her, even if I know it's impossible.

 

And even when hanging out with our friends, I wish she could be there with us.

 

It hit me how much I missed her when I was one day walking down some street and I heard someone call out her name.

 

I've never turned my head around so fast, my heart pounding a million beats a second. Turns out it was just someone calling out for another Hyunju with the same name. Not my Hyunju.

 

I try and shake it off. I need to get a grip. Hyunju seems to love Thailand and I'm happy for her. I need to get. a. grip.

 

"Dad?" Nayeon asks one night before she heads to bed.

 

I sit up, "Yeah sweetheart?"

 

"Am I going home soon?"

 

I blink, "We're trying to work on that okay? But you're getting better, don't worry."

 

"Is Hyunju Imo gonna be here when I leave?"

 

I sigh, rubbing her arm, "Probably not sweetheart, it's a long flight to Thailand. She's gonna come visit us when she has time. She's very busy right now."

 

"I miss her. I know you miss her too dad. You keep drawing her."

 

I laugh, standing up, "I do miss her, but she's not gone forever. She'll come back to visit okay Nayeona?"

 

"Okay..."

 

"Goodnight Nayeon."

 

"Goodnight dad."

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

After moving into my apartment and starting my new job at a hotel, everything was just amazing.

 

I loved the country, the people. Gosh I love the people.

 

I was shocked from how quickly I got along with everyone at work. No one looked at me funny. No one yelled at me. I was just...a person to them.

 

I made friends, I was going outside, I was smiling...

 

Then why am I not completely happy?

 

I'm in my dream place, everything is perfect. For some reason, I still feel alone even after coming here, and that really scares me.

 

Am I just not capable of being happy?

 

And so it went like this for weeks. I thought maybe getting my bottom surgery would make me feel better.

 

Nope. It hurt. A lot.

 

Dealing with it on my own afterwards wasn't too bad though. I've been through worse in my lowest.

 

I finally start going back to work after it all healed. My friends here congratulated me, but it was nothing like how everyone from Korea did.

 

When I called them one by one to tell them, they'd scream and cheer for me. It made me smile. Real smile, not the fake ones I put on at work.

 

When I tell Gyeongseok about the surgery, he smiles and sighs, "Oh my gosh Hyunju, you must feel so amazing huh? I'm so proud of you."

 

"Yeah, it still feels weird, but I'm getting used to it."

 

"How you liking everything?"

 

"Gosh, I Iove it here, it's so beautiful. Even work is good too, I love everyone there, they're so so sweet."

 

Gyeongseok beams at me, but I can see the sad eyebrows thing he does when he feels down, "I miss you so much. I'm so glad you like it there though."

 

I nod, "I do...and I miss you too."

 

"Oh I'm sure you don't, you don't have to lie."

 

"Oh my gosh, I'm not!"

 

Gyeongseok scrunches his nose which makes me laugh.

 

"How's Nayeon?" I ask

 

"Really really good. I don't want to tell her to not get her hopes up, but they think she can go home in a month or so?"

 

"A month?! Gyeongseok that's amazing. I'll have to fly down for that."

 

"Hyunju you don't have to.."

 

"Of course I have to. I love Nayeon, and plus, I miss all you guys so much. I feel homesick here."

 

"Me too."

 

"How can you feel homesick?"

 

"You being gone makes me feel that way for some reason."

 

Gyeongseok gives me sad smile, holding the phone up higher, "I love you so much Hyunju."

 

And that makes me smile again. Real smile. And it gives me a feeling I haven't gotten all day. It's like I truly feel happy in this current moment. In Thailand, with Gyeongseok...sort of.

 

And that feeling goes away the second we hang up.

 

I lie down in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if maybe I'll be happy again if I go shopping tomorrow.

 

Anything to distract me from missing him even more..

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

"Mr Park? May I speak with both of you for a moment?" Nayeon's doctor says one day as she opens the door.

 

I nod, holding Nayeon's hand, prepared for anything that she could say.

 

The doctor smiles, " I have some good news, Nayeon has been stable and responding well to treatment for a long while now, so we feel comfortable sending her home later today. We'll go over everything you need for home care and follow ups, and of course you'll still have our full support. How does that sound?"

 

My mind goes blank, "What?"

 

"She can go home now Mr Park."

 

I turn to Nayeon, who's beaming at me, reaching out for a hug. I hug her back, trying to hold back my tears, as I don't want to look like a mess in front of both of them.

 

The doctor laughs, the door still not closed all the way, "I'm very happy for you two. I'll get back to you in a little bit okay?"

 

I nod, "Thank you so much." I say, my voice sounding rough.

 

The door closes and Nayeon squeals, "I'm going home dad!"

 

I smile seeing such pure joy on Nayeon's face. It's been a while since I've seen it. It makes me feel both overjoyed and guilty.

 

She deserves the world, and this is what's given to her...

 

-

 

A few hours later, we we're all set up and ready to go. It's been so long since Nayeon was in the car with me.

 

And when we get back home, it feels like we just moved in again for the first time. It takes all my might to not break down crying. Nayeon already thinks I have a problem.

 

I hadn't told anyone thus far, since I didn't want Nayeon feeling overwhelmed on her first day back home.

 

I guess I was wrong about that, because she immediately asks me if we could call everyone to let them know she was back home.

 

"Who do you want to call first?"

 

"Hyunju Imo! Even if she can't visit me at home."

 

Hyunju picks up almost right away,

 

"Seokhee?" I hear her say.

 

I snicker at the nickname. Ever since I told Hyunju people used to call me that back in highschool, she started using it more as a joke. Somehow, it was only okay when she said it.

 

I was about to say something but quickly got interrupted by my shockingly energized daughter,

 

"HYUNJU IMO!" Nayeon screams, bringing the phone as close to her mouth as possible.

 

I grab the phone from Nayeon, and hold it up from out of her reach, "Hyunju! Hi!" I say as Nayeon tries grabbing for it.

 

I hear her laughing, "Hi guys! is uh....everything alright with you two? Why does it sound like you're wrestling?"

 

"Imo! Guess what? I'm home!"

 

"WHAT?!" I hear Hyunju scream, "Gyeongseok?! You two are home?!"

 

"Yeah we're at the house! They just told us today so this was really sudden."

 

"Oh my goodness! I'm so excited, you don't even know how happy I am right now! I'm flying down to visit you two soon okay?"

 

I smile, "We both miss you to pieces, but you know you really don't have to drop everything because of us-"

 

"Seokhee, you know there's literally nothing you can do to stop me right?"

 

That makes me laugh, "Then you better come quickly because we're dying to see you."

 

"Hyunju Imo! Are you gonna bring me something from Thailand!?"

 

"Nayeona! You can't ask people that! I told you that already"

 

I hear Hyunju laugh from the phone, "I did get a surprise for you Nayeona, but I'll only give it to you if you're nice to your dad, okay?"

 

"Okay!" Nayeon says with the biggest smile on her face. She gets off the couch and walks into her room. I hear her pulling out a good amount of toys from her drawers.

 

I know I'll be the one cleaning that up, but I won't ever complain as long as she's here with me.

 

I sigh and put the phone against my ear, "I better tell her to stay calm and rest, but she's just too excited right now."

 

"She hasn't been home in forever huh...it probably feels like new. Gosh, I'm just so happy for her. Seeing Nayeon in that hospital bed at her young age was just...."

 

She trails off, going quiet.

 

I nod, gulping down any tears that were coming up, "She's getting through it, that's for sure. And thank you Hyunju honestly, because whenever Nayeon would be on the phone with you, she'd be extra chirpy that day."

 

Silence.

 

"...I love you both so much." she says, her voice sounding unstable.

 

And that does it for me. Now we're both crying on the phone. It's moment like these when I wish I wasn't an empath.

 

I hear Hyunju sniffling and chocking out a laugh, "Stop crying, Nayeon's gonna make fun of you again."

 

I smile, clearing my throat, "I honestly couldn't care less right now."

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

After getting that call from Gyeongseok, I wanted nothing but to fly out to Korea the next day, but for some reason, I couldn't find any time to leave.

 

Things were just getting harder here.

 

I'd be planning for my leave, and then something would come up at work, or someone wanted me for something, or a new totally unexpected problem would pop into my life.

 

I wasn't as happy as I wish I could be.

 

And before I knew it, a month has already past....

 

And then two....

 

And then three.

 

And the worst part was, as I got busier, I was speaking to everyone back in Korea less and less. It kept me up at night, because it was the one thing I was afraid of most.

 

Whenever I had any time, I'd call someone to ask about their day for at least 5 minutes. I just needed to make sure I wasn't growing apart.

 

I finally lost hope when I was freed up for a few days and was planning to go to Korea, but suddenly got hit with covid.

 

I lie on my bed, sick and hopeless. Maybe this is a sign. To just stay here and never go back.

 

"I'm sorry." I say weakly over the phone while taking to Gyeongseok, "I don't think I'm gonna make it there anytime soon."

 

"Don't you care about any of us, the most important for you should be you and your health only." he says.

 

Silence.

 

I look down, wondering if I should say the one thing that's been on my mind every night for the past three months.

 

"Hyunju? Are you still-"

 

"You don't have to wait for me anymore."

 

Deafening silence, "What?" he asks quietly.

 

I lean my head back on my bed, closing my eyes, "I'm sorry it took me this long to realize and to come to my senses, but you don't deserve to wait for someone like me like this."

 

"...Hyunju, are you alright?"

 

"Just...please listen to me alright?"

 

He pauses,

 

"I can't do that. When I say I love you, I mean it. I can't let go like that and you know it."

 

"But look at us right now. This is what happens when we live thousands of miles away from each other. It's been three months since Nayeon has got out, and I haven't been able to see her once yet. I haven't been able to see any of you guys at all."

 

"Hyunju...." he starts, "We've been communicating often. We're okay. A-And we'll find some day for you to get here, remember we promised we'd work all of this out together."

 

"It doesn't even seem like that though Gyeongseok. Last week, we barely called for 5 minutes."

 

"Then what are you saying?"

 

"I'm saying you shouldn't wait for me anymore."

 

"So in other words, you want to cut off this whole thing we have going on here?"

 

I take shaky deep breath in, afraid I'll break down if I say anything more. I slump in my seat, not even feeling the tears pouring down my face.

 

"I- I'm sorry Gyeongseok, I shouldn't have brought this up."

 

"It's fine...I know Thailand is still kinda new for you. And whatever you want to do between...us, I'll hear you out, okay?"

 

"Okay. Thanks Gyeongseok."

 

-

 

I'm back at my job in the hotel after recovering from covid.

 

Gyeongseok and I still haven't talked about anything we had said that one night, although I can still feel something lingering between us ever since.

 

"Need any help with that?" one of my coworkers had said to me, seeing me carry some boxes over to where I was.

 

I laugh. "I'm an almost 6 ft biological man that was in the special forces, I think I can handle this." is what I wanted to say.

 

But all that came out was "Nope, I got it, thank you."

 

I set the boxes down at a desk and start shuffling through the files inside it. He stands next to me, peeking over my shoulder.

 

I turn around, "You good?" I ask, a slight smile on my face.

 

He jumps back, rubbing his neck, face looking pink. And if I didn't know any better I'd say he looks a little bit...nervous?

 

I tilt my head and cross my arms, "Are you hiding something from me?" I ask

 

He shakes his head and breathes, coughing at a laugh, "Just one thing."

 

"Okay, hit me."

 

"Are you seeing anyone perhaps?"

 

I blink. That is not was I was expecting at all. I gulp, "....Why?"

 

"Because...I'm interested in you. I have been since when you first started working here."

 

I stare at him for a moment in utter shock.

 

He has brown-ish hair, glasses, and a huge smile on his face. He's tall, a few inches above me even. He was undoubtedly a very attractive looking man. Not only that, but he was always kind to everyone that works here and is always patient with customers.

 

So why is he wasting time with me? Me?

 

"So.....are you?" he asks, shuffling his feet, visibly nervous.

 

"Um..." I mutter, "I'm...not sure."

 

He furrows his brows in confusion, "Talking stage?"

 

I wave my hand in a "no" motion, "It's just...complicated." I sigh.

 

"Then let go of him, guys like that suck."

 

"It's...not like that. We decided we weren't gonna date since he lives all the way back home in Korea."

 

He raises his brows, "You're Korean?!"

 

I laugh, "Cho Hyunju?"

 

"Oh my gosh, How come I never noticed that?...Then how is your Thai so good?"

 

"I studied it for years since I was preparing to move here for so long."

 

He nods slowly, leaning back, "Wow, you're amazing Hyunju. Seriously. This is why I'd love to get to know you more. Let go of that trash guy you're not even with, and I can actually show you what you're worth."

 

I freeze, staring at him. Slowly realizing I don't feel a single ounce of anything for this man, a seemingly perfect guy.

 

I never have for the months and months I've worked with him.

 

I can talk to him for hours face to face right now, and I'd still feel a thousand times happier with just calling Gyeongseok on the phone.

 

Because that's who my heart belongs to, even a million miles away.

 

Even with all the doubts and insecurity that has been flooding into my mind.

 

Even with all the problems and the delays for my flight. It's still him.

 

Gyeongseok.

 

It's always been you.

 

The man who was there for me from the very beginning.

 

I won't ever love someone like I love him, and I don't want to be with anyone else, because no guy in Thailand will ever be him....

 

-

 

I leave work that day as quick as I could, booking it home.

 

Once I get inside, I practically throw my jacket on the rack and immediately whip open my computer to buy plane tickets to get back to Korea tomorrow.

 

I completely silence my phone, not wanting anything or anyone to stop me this time.

 

If I managed to disappear for four days on end, Everyone'll be fine if I'm gone for a day or two.

 

I need to go to go back to Korea.

 

For my family.

 

And to finally set something in stone, that I should've set a long time ago.

Chapter Text

Gyeongseok POV:

 

"I think she might want to cut things off." I tell Yong-sik one day when we're both at my place when Nayeon's sleeping.

 

Yong-sik raises his brows, a mix of confusion and shock,

 

"And....what makes you think that?"

 

I shrug, playing with the zipper of my jacket, "She mentioned a few days ago to not wait for her anymore. Does that mean she wants to end things?"

 

"Well, she's never gonna come back if you continue wearing that hat."

 

I groan, taking off my sunhat and ruffling through my hair.

 

Yong-sik pats me on the back reassuringly, "I'm sure she's just too busy to come over here. She loves you dude, don't worry."

 

"I'm just making up the worst scenarios in my head right now."

 

"Why don't you go over to Thailand then?"

 

I give Yong-sik a look, "You don't think I've already asked multiple times? She said if I fly over there, she won't talk to me because she's the one who promised to fly back here."

 

Yong-sik shakes his head, "She's so...Hyunju sometimes."

 

I smile and look at the ground, shuffling my feet nervously. I let out a big breath,

 

"Do....you think there's someone else?"

 

"Gyeongseok, snap out of it." Yong-sik says, leaning back.

 

I sigh and get up to grab two cokes from the fridge. I hand one over to Yong-sik as I sit back down.

 

"Maybe she hates me."

 

Yong-sik closes his eyes and takes the longest sigh I've ever heard in my life. He rolls his eyes as he takes a sip,

 

"You're so freaking hopeless..."

 

-

 

"Goodnight Nayeon, I love you." I say as I tuck Nayeon into bed one night.

 

She yawns and gives me a tired smile, "Goodnight dad.."

 

She drifts off to sleep and I quietly walk out the room, carefully closing the door and tip-toeing to the bathroom.

 

I put on a movie as I wash my face. I tend to overthink less when it's not completely silent.

 

I dry my face off and walk to the living room, leaning on the counter as I respond to some late texts I received.

 

I squint when I see a text from Hyunju,

 

"Come outside."

 

I freeze as the message flips away on its own.

 

It can't be.

 

She can't be here...she's too busy.

 

Maybe someone hacked into her phone. Maybe someone stole her phone and is about to attack me. Maybe I'm just dreaming. Or....

 

Despite my multiple possible scenarios of me getting killed at this moment, I sprint over to my door.

 

I put my hand over the handle for a moment, my heart starting to race, as I slowly open the door....

 

And there she is.

 

It's like she's not even real. It's crazy to me how she's not just someone over a phone screen.

 

She looks different. Really different. Shockingly different since it's been so long since I've seen her.

 

Still extremely beautiful, just like always.

 

But more importantly, it was her.

 

And she's here at my front door.

 

All these thoughts rush into my head for only a moment before I pull her in for the tightest hug I've ever given anybody.

 

She hugs me back without a word. I never want to let go.

 

There's a million questions I wanted to ask her but all I could do was hold onto her as tight as I could like a kid on their first day of school.

 

I hear her half laugh half cough, "I can't breathe Gyeongseok."

 

"Oh sorry!", I quickly pull away and look at her. Admire her. In person.

 

She smiles at me, "Surprise?"

 

"Hyunju..." I say holding her face in my hands, "What are you- i thought.... didn't you?...I mean I- WHAT?...How are you here?"

 

She bites her lip, giggling at my horrible attempt at basic human speech, "I came back like I said I would. I know it took way longer than I said it would be."

 

"You didn't even tell me...I thought you were too busy."

 

She shakes her head, "That's where I made the mistake. I can't believe I kept delaying my coming here because of stupid reasons. Nothing should matter more than all of you. Seriously."

 

I pause, "Wait- so are you gonna like...get fired for just leaving randomly?" I ask, worried.

 

"I-..um...we'll have to see I guess.."

 

She tucks a piece of hair behind her ears and takes a breath, "And...uh..I also came back here to say yes."

 

I raise a brow, "Yes to what?"

 

"To what you wanted to ask me that one day. Because I don't see myself with anybody except you.."

 

-

 

Hyunju POV:

 

I did it. I said it. I gulp nervously.

 

I clear my throat, "I mean...If...if you still want to..I know I haven't been the best person lately but..."

 

He stares at me for a moment as I brace myself for the worst.

 

Then suddenly, he grabs the sides of my face and pulls me in to kiss him. It feels perfectly right, and I can't believe it took me this long to finally realize he's was I wanted.

 

I laugh against his lips, "Is this a yes?"

 

He smiles, holding onto me tightly, "I don't see us being anything else either."

 

I pull back, sighing, hugging him again with my head in the crook of his shoulder.

 

"I can't believe you're here."

 

I chuckle. He suddenly jerks his head,

 

"Wait a second, did you bring any stuff here?"

 

I nod, "It's at the hotel I'm staying in. I'm here for one more day."

 

As soon as I say that, I see the hamster in his mind start to run. I know we're both thinking the same thing.

 

But at the end of the day, we're just two awkward people.

 

Two stupidly awkward people who took this long to even reach the boyfriend-girlfriend status. There is no way in any universe we'd be doing that on our first day of our official relationship.

 

So I just nod and punch his shoulder lightly, "So..um, I'll see you tomorrow?"

 

He puts his hands on his hips and lets out a laugh, "Yeah I will. Should I tell the others you're here?"

 

I think for a moment, "It doesn't matter to me honestly. Junhee already knows so I'm assuming Daeho might know too? I was just planning to kinda show up on everyone's door step to say hi."

 

He nods, "They're all gonna lose their minds. Everyone misses you so much."

 

I tilt my head, sighing, "So did I. Nayeon and Yeji are probably much bigger now huh..."

 

He nods, "Yeji's practically grown. Nayeon got a tiny bit taller, but that's pretty much it. Same baby face."

 

"I want to say hi to her so badly, but I don't want to wake her up."

 

"You can come over again, or we'll drive to where you are. Just tell me."

 

I beam and nod, "Okay I will..."

 

He nods at me back, the goofiest smile on his face, "I love you, girlfriend."

 

I snicker, kissing him one more time before running off.

 

Turning around to leave, I yell, "Love you Seokhee." I say, kissing the inside of my hand and pretending to throw it at him.

 

"Love you more!"

 

"I doubt that!"

 

-

 

I wake up the next morning, bright and early.

 

Smiling the whole way as I drive over to Junhee's house.

 

As I get to her door, it practically swings open the moment I knock.

 

"UNNIE! OH MY GOSH!" Junhee screams, pulling me in for a strong hug.

 

"Hyunju?!" Daeho says from the kitchen, jaw wide open.

 

Well I guess she hadn't told him...

 

He walks over to hug me next, them both talking at lighting speed at the same exact time. Gosh I missed these two.

 

My eyes immediately drift to a TV-mesmerized Yeji on the couch. I gasp in shock,

 

"Yeji grew so much!" I say, my hand covering my mouth, "I missed everything huh?"

 

Junhee shakes her hand, grabbing my arm to lead me toward her, "You missed nothing. I promise you. The only thing that has happened is that she said her first word and discovered television clearly."

 

I walk over to Yeji, playing with her small hand looking up in shock,

 

"Oh my gosh! What was her first word?"

 

"Mom. I was trying for Vegeta." Daeho says annoyed, his arms crossed.

 

"Shut up Daeho." Junhee says laughing, lifting Yeji up from the couch.

 

Daeho turns to me again, tilting his head with a goofy smile, "Soo....are you gonna like...tell us everything about Thailand or what?"

 

I shake my head, "I've already told you guys everything..there's not many interesting things going on there to be honest, which is literally amazing. I'm finally just a normal human being and being treated like one."

 

Junhee rubs my arm, giving me a cute look, "I'm over the moon to hear that. And your surgeries went well too right?"

 

I nod, "Everything went well, thankfully."

 

Daeho squints, "I gotta say, you do look really different. Like really different, in-in a good way of course. You look like an actor."

 

I sheepishly laugh towards the ground, feeling both flattered and shy about the compliment.

 

"I have more makeup on, have been on estrogen this whole time and got hair extensions in." I say shrugging.

 

Junhee nods, "it looks really good, you look so pretty."

 

"Gyeongseok is gonna freak out when he sees you." Daeho adds, sitting down.

 

I take a seat on a nearby chair in a loud silence. I see both their faces changing in the slightest way.

 

"Did you see him already?" Junhee asks.

 

I look to the side, my hands propped against my knee. I nod slowly, "I visited him last night yeah."

 

"Last night...?" Daeho asks his eyes flickering from mine to Junhee's.

 

I groan, covering my face, "Oh my gosh! Nothing happened you guys, you two can chill."

 

Junhee raises a brow in suspicion, "So.....nothing happened? Nothing? You just went over to say hi and walked away?"

 

"Well...not nothing I guess. He is my boyfriend now though...so.."

 

Junhee and Daeho freeze, staring at me like I had just told them I had just won the lottery. I chuckle nervously, "That surprised?"

 

Junhee snaps out of it and runs over to me, hugging me again, "Oh my gosh!! I am so SO happy for you two! Ugh do you know how long we've been waiting?! I mean it is about time, I mean...oh my gosh Yong-sik is gonna freak out.. Like FREAK OUT...he's your guys's number one fan, I'm convinced we're going to have to drive him to the hospital afterwards and..."

 

Daeho covers his mouth, walking over slowly, "I can't believe it....Like seriously. I thought you two were never gonna get through this 'we're just friends' thing."

 

I wish I could answer, but Junhee's currently choking the life out of me with her tight hug. I have to push her away as gently as I could to get her off me before I died of suffocation.

 

"Wait so who won the bet?" Daeho asks.

 

"Bet?"

 

I look at Junhee for an explanation but she shakes her head and sighs angrily.

 

"They have a stupid bet for when they thought you two were going to finally start dating."

 

"It's not stupid!"

 

"Yes it is Daeho!"

 

"Nuh-uh!"

 

I laugh at the cute interaction, "So is there a bet for when you two are gonna start dating? Because I have a guess." I smirk.

 

They both look at me with an awkward expression, "Um-N-Nevermind that." Junhee says, helping me off the chair, "We should all go and visit everyone else, get together now that you're here again!"

 

I smile, "Well, I already saw Gyeongseok..so....Yong-sik and Halmoni?"

 

"And Gihun-Hyung." Daeho adds, grabbing Yeji.

 

I whip my head back towards him, "Gihun?!"

 

Junhee nods excitedly, "Yes!! He's going to be happy to see you. Gyeongseok ran into him once and invited him over, so he comes to our dinners from time to time. He still remembers you, you know."

 

I huff, "How much did I miss?"

 

Junhee smiles at me, fixing my hair as she opens the door, "Nothing you can't catch up on, now let's go!"

 

-

 

As we knock on the door to Geum-ja's I hear her footsteps lightly move across the floor on the way to the door.

 

She opens it, looking like she's seen a ghost when she sees me, then a second later, starts crying and grabs onto me like it's the last time I'm seeing her.

 

"Aigoo Hyunju! I missed you so much, you look so beautiful waa...Are you eating enough? You look skinner!"

 

I laugh pulling away from the hug, "I missed you too Halmoni." I say smiling back at her. She then says a brief 'hi' to Daeho and Junhee (and Yeji).

 

"Come inside come inside, let me go get Yong-sik." she says, leading us in, closing the door behind us and dashing to the bathroom where he's currently showering.

 

I know he's showering, not because of the loud water, but because I hear him belting it out in there.

 

"Is she gonna make him come out soaked?" I ask laughing.

 

"Knowing Halmoni, yes." Junhee says.

 

And as we guessed, Yong-sik comes out a few minutes later, fully dressed, but his hair still completely wet.

 

I see Yong-sik face immediately brighten up once he sees me, he runs over and hugs me, gasping loudly,

 

"Hyunju?! What are you doing here?!"

 

"I'm visiting today." I say while beaming with joy.

 

It's so amazing to see everybody again. It feels like I'm finally at home. Thailand has been a dream, but this is where my family is.

 

All of us end up talking for almost an hour, catching up on everything I might've missed about them, and vise versa.

 

Turns out they have actually ran into a few other people they've seen during the games. Two I haven't heard of, one I knew, the shaman lady.

 

Geum-ja told me about how how her and Junhee saw her while running errands together and had to practically spy on her the whole time until she left so they wouldn't have to run into her.

 

It was nice talking to these people again. Really nice. I missed this a lot.

 

Geum-ja insists for us to stay and to invite Gyeongseok and Gihun over to have a dinner, even if it wasn't planned.

 

Turns out the two unemployed men were free today, who knew?

 

Gihun came in first. I gasp when I first see him. It was like I was seeing somebody in a dream.

 

"Gihun-nim?" I ask standing up, bowing.

 

He bows back, visibly confused, "Hi um...do I know you?"

 

I get confused by this. Didn't Junhee say that he remembers me?

 

I stammer, "I'm uh...from the games, Player 120. I'm Hyunju, Cho Hyunju. I know it's been so long."

 

I see both of his eyebrows shoot up, mouth slightly parted open, "You're Hyunju? Woah, you look so different."

 

I laugh, "I'd hope so." I say quietly as he takes a seat, "How have you been Gihun-nim?"

 

He sighs, clearly not wanting to answer that question. He's lost so many people in the same place. Twice. It's hard to go back to normal after that.

 

We talk amongst ourselves until we hear another knock at the door. My heart skips a beat. It has to be Gyeongseok.

 

I feel foolish. Why is my heart racing this fast just from my freaking boyfriend?

 

The first thing I see, is Nayeon running from outside into the room. She's giggling but freezes in her tracks when she sees me.

 

"HYUNJU IMO!!!???" She shouts, happily tugging on me. I kneel down and give her a tight hug.

 

"Dad! Did you know Imo's back?!" Nayeon shouts, turning around.

 

Gyeongseok, who's currently taking off his shoes nods, "She wanted it to be a surprise for you Nayeon!"

 

"I like this surprise!" Nayeon says, her cute bunny smile shining brightly.

 

"Nayeon come here!" Junhee says getting up and leaning down to take her hand, "They just need to talk about boring adult stuff for a second, then you can talk to Hyunju again, okay?"

 

She winks at me before walking Nayeon to the kitchen.

 

Once they're out of sight, Gyeongseok pulls me in to kiss him, harder than I expected.

 

I burst out in giggles, not being able to take the kiss seriously. Gyeongseok pulls back, pouting, "Is this how you're gonna treat your boyfriend from now on?"

 

I cover my mouth, shaking my head, "You're gonna ruin my makeup before we go back." I whisper scream.

 

He groans, leaning his forehead on my shoulder. He starts fixing the lipstick on my face with his finger.

 

"Alright, see? Nothing even happened."

 

I ruffle through his hair, "I missed you."

 

"I missed you too. Like I was literally crying so much today that Nayeon started searching for therapists in the area on her ipad."

 

I stifle a laugh, "You're joking....Gyeongseok! You gotta stop that."

 

"I know I know..." he says grinning. We start walking back to the table.

 

Gyeongseok greets everybody and takes a seat across from me. We all cheers and start to eat.

 

And as we eat, I take a look around the room and just how blessed I was in this moment.

 

With these people.

 

Last year, I didn't even know what was coming for me.

 

You could've put a gun to my head and I would've never said that I'd play a children's murder game that actually won me a huge amount of money and found me my lifelong friends and the love of my life.

 

Never.

 

I don't even know what the conversation's about right now as all these thoughts rush through my head.

 

But in the corner of my eye, I see Gyeongseok looking at me.

 

Looking at me like that night we had talked during the games.

 

Usually when we caught eyes like this, I'd look away after a few awkward seconds, but today I kept looking at him.

 

That look.

 

That look he has right at this moment.

 

It's a look I see him have all the time with me. His eyes telling a million words without having to speak for a single moment.

 

How did I never notice this look in the games? And even outside of it?

 

I guess I was too focused on the world around me, I couldn't even notice my world.

 

Gyeongseok smiles brightly, his eyes cutely crinkling. He mouths the words, "You're beautiful."

 

"I love you." I mouth back. Not a perfect response to what he had said, but it's what I felt like saying.

 

Because I do love him.

 

More than I ever could've imagined.

 

So much that if I had gone back in time to when that recruiter gave me the card, knowing I'd find him there,

 

I wouldn't hesitate to call the number for a single moment.