Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Up! Come on guys, we got a show tonight!" Ray called out, walking between the bunks. Ray was always the first one up, getting them all ready for shows, interviews, videos, no matter what it was, Ray was always awake first.

Mikey groaned and slid out from his cramped bunk, stretching before he slid his glasses on, making his way to the kitchen area of the bus. Coffee was the only thing on his mind right now, the only thing he could think about. He grabbed a mug, checking if it was clean, and once he confirmed it was, he poured himself some coffee before sitting down on the couch, taking long, slow sips.

Ray just chuckled softly, "how was your sleep?"

"Mm." Was all Mikey could muster, still not completely awake, blinking slowly like a cat. He glanced at the clock. Wow, Ray had even let them sleep in. Usually on nights when they had shows, he'd wake them around 9am, but it was closer to noon at this point.

"Come on you two! We have a sound check at 2pm!" Ray hollered as he made his way back towards the bunks.

Mikey could faintly hear Frank and Gerard cursing Ray out. As the three made their way into the kitchen, Frank huffed, "come on, I think we've been pretty damn good."

"The best, even." Gerard added as he shoved Frank out of the way to get himself some coffee.

"Yeah, we're both good boys." Frank nodded.

Ray rolled his eyes, "please, Mikey was out of bed without even complaining, if anything, Mikey is a good boy."

What?

Mikey felt his cheeks got hot. His heart hammered in his chest, trying to hide his face behind the coffee mug, especially as Ray moved closer.

Ray sat on the arm of the couch, still facing Frank and Gerard, his hand moving to Mikey's hair, petting it. Petting him. "See? Mikey is a very good boy." Ray's voice was soft and sweet, and Mikey was vaguely aware of his grip on the mug.

don't break it don't break it don't break it

At least no one had seen Mikey's clear fluster. Well.. until Mikey looked at Frank, who began laughing loudly. "Yeah Mikey, you a good boy?" He mocked.

Mikey's cheeks immediately returned to a normal temperature, his face annoyed.

"Better than you two!" Ray laughed and looked at Mikey. "You good?"

Mikey forced himself to nod, "too tired for Frank's.... Frank." He said slowly.

"Aren't you always too tired for that?" Ray chuckled.

"Tired and done with are two different things." Mikey hummed and finished his coffee.

 ——————————————————————————————

After the sound check, Ray had went to go and get them food from one of the shops nearby.

"So," Frank spoke up as they got on the bus, "you're into Toro." He grinned.

Mikey turned to look at Frank, "huh?"

"I said, You're-"

"I know what you said!" Mikey huffed, "I'm just confused as to what rock fell on your head to give you such an idea."

"Well, to be fair," Gerard began, "you did get pretty flustered this morning when he was next to you, when his hand was in your hair." He commented as he sipped on what was probably his fourth coffee. God they had a coffee problem.

Mikey tried not to think about how nice Ray's hand had felt in his hair. "He was touching my hair, I was annoyed"

"Then why didn't you tell him to stop? Or move him?" Frank grinned.

"I was tired, okay?" He grumbled.

"Well that still doesn't explain how flustered you got before that."

"He complimented me, okay? I just get all like that with compliments because I don't know how to take them!" That wasn't entirely true. Mikey was telling the truth on one thing, he didn't know how to take compliments, he never really knew what you were supposed to say in return. But Mikey had never been the type to get all flustered like that.

"You don't get all antsy when I compliment you though!" Frank grinned. He already knew how Mikey felt.

"Well maybe I would if you actually gave real compliments." Mikey crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Yeah, but good boy isn't really a compliment." Gerard pointed out, "it sounds more like a ki-"

"Do not finish that sentence." Mikey glared at his brother.

"No no, do finish it!" Frank laughed for a moment before pausing, "no wait, you might actually have a point, Gee."

"No he doesn't?"

"Sure he does! Sounds like you have a praise ki-"

"Oh my God, please shut up!" Mikey huffed, "it doesn't matter, because nothing is going on! Alright!" He stomped off to his bunk. Nothing was going on. Not at all.

 ——————————————————————————————

They -Frank and Gerard- were clearly conspiring against Mikey. They had to be. He had been complimented by several different people already, both before and after the concert. Stage techs, crew members, their opener, even the fucking merch people, all saying nice things. Mikey just mumbled a 'thank you,' smiled, and gave a nod before continuing on.

"Mikes, I liked how much you were moving on stage!" Gerard grinned at his brother. Mikey gave him a glare, he knew what Gerard was up to.

Frank appeared from behind Gerard. "Yeah, you really got the energy going in Jetset."

Mikey squinted at them, opening his mouth to say how he knew what they were doing, what shenanigans they were playing at.

"Mikey!" Ray spoke up from behind him, making the bassist turn. "You were so good tonight! Seriously!" Ray had this big, geniune grin on his face.

Mikey's face got all warm and red before he could try and stop it, "oh- thanks- um- you as well?" He chewed the inside of his cheek.

Ray just smiled more, "I'm gonna head back to the bus, get a shower in before Frank steals all the hot water on me. I know Gerard won't."

"Hey!" Gerard protested, "sometimes I do!"

"Only when Frank is in the shower with you." Mikey pointed out, trying to focus energy on anyone but himself.

Ray just laughed and messed with his hair before walking off.

"You were blushing." Frank pointed out.

"And stuttering." Gerard added.

"Yeah, but you guys told him to say that, so it doesn't matter." Mikey rolled his eyes, "there's nothing going on, so stop!"

"Actually.. Ray was the only one we didn't tell to compliment you." Gerard smirked.

Mikey tried to ignore the fact his cheeks were getting warmer, probably bright red at this point.

"Which means, he did it all on his own." Frank grinned.

"Or, he just saw you two do it and decided to join in. Boom. End of story." Mikey retorted. There was nothing going on, and Mikey didn't have something for Ray or compliments, or compliments from Ray. No. Not at all.

——————————————————————————————

Mikey hadn't believed Gerard and Frank for a second. The compliments from Ray hadn't stopped, if anything, it seemed like they were more frequent than normal. He didn't know what Gerard and Frank were trying to prove here, because Mikey wasn't into Ray. No. Not at all. Right?

...right?

Mikey shook his head to himself, helping some stage techs move their equipment. He was moving some boxes, passing a dressing room, briefly making eye contact with Frank, who was talking to Ray about their playing. As he went to stand up, Frank's voice rung out.

"I wonder if we could get Mikey to learn some of your parts." Frank laughed, "eh, probably not. They're hard as shit."

"I think he could do it." Ray spoke softly. Mikey couldn't help but listen in on them. He mentally cursed himself, because he knew that it was what Frank wanted him to do.

Frank let out a laugh, "seriously?"

"Yeah! He's got the talent for it! He just needs the.. the discipline." Mikey felt his cheeks go red, especially as Frank laughed more.

"Discipline?" Frank giggled, "what do you mean?"

"Maybe that was the wrong word, but just hear me out!" Ray argued, "he's so fucking talented, I mean, he taught himself bass just to be in the band! What he needs is to learn how to be patient with himself too. You've seen it, when we're making new songs and he's trying to figure out his parts. He rushes through them and then gets frustrated and mad when he messes up. He's gotta learn the patience part of it." Ray hummed softly.

Mikey hadn't realized that Ray had.. had paid so much attention to him like that. That Ray had noticed that. It wasn't like Mikey had been yelling and screaming and throwing shit around. He'd just sit there, let it stew, his hands would grip the neck of the bass tighter, until he couldn't take it and would leave the room to give himself a break.

"And discipline is how you'll achieve Mikey gaining patience? What are you gonna do, spank him until he plays it correctly?"

"I doubt that would help much with patience, and I would want him to associate playing with good things." Ray hummed. "Besides," Ray continued, "discipline isn't all about punishments and whatnot. It's more about training and having self control. Mikey lacks discipline not because he needs some sort of punishment, but because he doesn't have the control he needs over his emotions."

Mikey could hear Frank smirking, "so how you gonna train your puppy then? Or do you think he would prefer kitten instead?"

"The same way you teach any pet. Treats."

Mikey made an embarrassing noise, and in his rush to cover his mouth, let go of the case he was holding. He pushed his hand under it before it could fully hit the ground, but he made another embarrassing noise -this time in pain- as his fingers got crushed.

"Fuck!" He cursed, carefully freeing his hand from underneath the box of equipment, examining it. His ring finger had taken the brunt of the damage, blood starting to form where a bit of a sharper spot had pierced his skin slightly.

"Mikey?" Mikey looked up to see Ray and Frank. Shit. "What happened?" Frank asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine-"

"You're bleeding, Mikes." Ray pointed out, "come on, lemme help you." He walked over, helping Mikey up, "Frank, will you go get a first aid kit?"

"On it." Frank nodded, shooting Mikey a smirk. Mikey wanted to punch him.

Ray pulled Mikey next to the counter, were all sorts of make up shit was strewn about, likely Gerard's doing. Ray walked over to where there was a case of water bottles.

"Ray, I'm fine, really." Mikey tried to argue, "I can just go wash it off in the bathroom or something."

"I'm not letting you do that. Not in a public bathroom. Who knows what goes on in there?" Ray hummed.

"They've got janitors here, I'm sure they're cleaned well." Mikey looked towards the door of the dressing room, trying to figure out how to sneak past Ray, because he knew that Ray was faster. And stronger. Ray would catch him with ease. He'd barely make it out the door, and Ray would catch his wrist.

Or maybe he'd catch Mikey's waist, hold his body close, bring him back, his hands would be so strong, and Mikey would lose so easily-

Mikey shook his head, as if trying to tell himself no! because he wasn't into Ray! He didn't want to date him or anything like that! No!

...probably not.

"Maybe so, but we don't know how frequently that is. Besides, what if someone fucked with the soap in there. You remember high school, people tearing the soap dispensers open and shoving random shit in there."

Mikey did. The school ended up having to make cages to go around the dispensers because it had been that much of an issue.

"I doubt that people here are gonna be as stupid as the fucking kids in schools." Mikey sighed, he'd clean his finger on his own. "I'm just gonna go and wash it-"

"Mikey-"

"It's really not a huge deal man!" Mikey began towards the door, Frank turning the corner and standing in the doorway.

"Mikey, sit the fuck down and listen to me."

Mikey immediately stopped on the spot, his cheeks going warm. Frank sent him a shit eating grin, stepping in as if he just got there.

"Hey, got the first aid kit." He hummed, passing it to Ray.

"Perfect, Mikey was just trying to bail on me." Ray sighed and looked to Mikey. "Go sit."

Mikey swallowed, "but I-"

"Now."

Mikey's feet were moving on their own. Fuck. He hated that Frank saw that. Of fucking course Frank saw it.

Ray opened the kit up, grabbing the rubbing alcohol, some cotton swabs, polysporin, and a bandaid. The curly haired man approached Mikey, who was now sat on the stool near the counter.

"So, what happened?" Ray asked softly as he dipped a cotton swab into a small amount of rubbing alcohol.

"Huh?"

"With your finger. How did it happen?" Ray clarified.

"Oh- um- it's stupid." Mikey blushed and avoided eye contact, trying to discreetly see if Frank was still there.

He was. Asshole.

Despite not looking at him, Mikey could hear the smile in Ray's voice as he spoke, "yeah, it probably is. So how did it happen?" He hummed. "This will sting." He warned softly.

"Okay.. so-" he began to hiss in pain as Ray rubbed the cotton swab with the rubbing alcohol over the cut on his finger, "m-motherfucker!" He cursed.

"Sorry, but I have to. Can't risk you losing a finger, or worse, your hand."

"I-I wouldn't've lost my hand!"

"Yeah, cuz I would've cleaned it in the middle of the night." Ray spoke rather easily. "Now tell me."

Mikey groaned, still hissing through his teeth, trying to think of something believable enough. "I got startled and dropped the case on my hand." It wasn't entirely untruthful. He was just omitting facts.

"What startled you?" Frank piped up from behind Ray.

"Why does it matter?"

"Why does it matter to not tell us?" Frank pushed, still grinning.

"Shut up Frank." Mikey huffed.

"Hey, be nice. He's trying to help." Ray hummed, "mostly." He added. "What startled you though? It couldn't've been a loud noise, cause Frankie and I would've heard it." He said as he put a small amount of polysporin over the cut, leaning over to get the bandaid off the counter.

"... there was a fly." Mikey mumbled.

"A fly?" Ray rose a brow.

Frank burst into laughter, because he knew that it obviously wasn't true. It was like he was trying to get under Mikey's skin.

"Hey! You don't get to laugh, Iero! You're a fucking pussy, even the idea of spiders scare you!" Mikey glared at him. "It came out of nowhere and went right in my face. If I had known it was there, I wouldn't've been startled." Mikey lied right through his teeth.

"Mhm, yep." Frank just kept grinning like the asshole he was.

Ray just hummed and placed the bandaid over Mikey's finger, "there. You did good. You're lucky that it was this hand and not the other." Ray carefully put the rubbing alcohol back into the first aid kit. He set it on the counter and looked through his own bag, pulling out a pack of gummy bears that was held shut by a clip.

Mikey tilted his head, "what are those for?" He asked.

"You." He responded simply, "hold out your hand."

Frank made a noise of disapproval, "how come I don't get any gummy bears?"

"You're not injured. Isn't this was doctors do? Give rewards to patients who behave to encourage that they continue to be good?" Fuck, why had Ray been saying that so often?

Frank snorted, "since when are you a doctor?"

"About thirty seconds ago." Ray turned back to Mikey, "come on, open your hand."

Mikey blushed and bit his tongue, watching as Ray put a small amount of gummy bears in his hand.

"There, see what happens when you're good?" He smiled.

"Th-thank you." He said without thinking.

Ray just grinned at him and turned to leave the room, "I'm gonna go find Gerard, we gotta be ready for sound check in an hour!" He told them as he left.

Frank looked at Mikey and smirked, "so-"

"Shut up." Mikey huffed.

——————————————————————————————

Okay, so maybe he had a thing for Ray, and maybe the idea of having Ray praise him was a turn on. How could he not be turned on? Especially when Ray had referred to him as "a pet" with such ease, as if that was all Mikey was. It was so fucked up, he felt so messed up for feeling this way, but it really had gotten him all hot and bothered.

Frank, of course, was no help, and had run off to tell Gerard once Ray hadn't been around, which lead to Gerard cornering him and trying to teach him about how to safely explore ones kinks, and while Mikey appreciated the concern, this was not a lesson he wanted to learn from his brother of all people.

But there was no possible way that Ray actually wanted him, right? Sure, lots of people had heard of Mikey and 'half of Jersey, all of Warped Tour', but Ray was straight. He had only ever seen Ray date women. He had been with quite a few, both in the sense of dating and one night stands. I mean, what woman wouldn't want to be with a guitarist? With fingers that precise? Ray could definitely treat them good.

So he was pretty damn certain that Toro was straight, so any chance he may have had would end there. Shit, even if Ray was gay, or bisexual, or any other sort of queer, who was to say that Mikey would be someone he was into. For all Mikey knew, Ray was into skinny, short twinks with a cocky, confident attitude and a fire in their eyes to fight literally everyone.

...

Wait, that was just Frank. Shit.

Mikey just shook his head at himself, trying to just clear his mind and think of literally anything else. But how could he? Especially when he could hear Gerard and Ray discussing ideas for a song. Well, not exactly discussing, Gerard just kept making these 'dah dah dah dah's in different notes, and Ray would play them, because that fucker could just learn guitar by ear, somehow.

The lanky bassist just got out from his bunk, peeking his head out to where Gerard and Ray were sat. "Hey," he spoke just loudly enough for them to hear him. Ray pressed his fingers to the strings of his guitar to silence it and Gerard turned to face him. "Any idea how far we are from the next show?"

"Well, the show starts at eight, but thats just the opener and they get to play for about an hour, and then stage techs will go and clean off the stage for us and that'll probably take another-"

"I'll just go ask the driver." Gerard cut Ray off, standing up and walking to the front.

Mikey stood there awkwardly, especially when Ray turned from where Gerard had went and looked to Mikey. The curly haired guitar offered a warm smile, "hey, you wanna try and help us figure out this song?" He asked him.

"Me?" Mikey asked, like a dumbass.

Ray just grinned, "yeah, you." He nodded, "I can show you what we've got so far?"

"I mean.. I've already heard quite a bit. The sound travels to the bunks." Mikey shrugged.

"Oh, we didn't wake you, did we?"

"No, no, I was awake already. Just kinda thinking.." Mikey told him.

"Yeah? Thinking about what?" Ray leaned his head on his hand, looking at Mikey so intently. Mikey could feel the heat spreading to his cheeks, and he forced himself to look away.

"Stuff." Great choice of words, Mikey. Just brilliant. You have the entire english language at your disposal, and the word you pick is by far the most suspicious sounding.

Well, other than the word suspicious, but that's only because that's how it's pronounced.

Ray raised a brow, "what kind of stuff?"

"Two hours." Gerard spoke as he walked back into the lounge area.

Mikey nodded, "Alright. I think I'm gonna try and lay down again."

"Aw, leaving us so soon?" Gerard teased, big grin on his face.

"Come on Mikey, we'll miss you so much!" Ray added. Mikey wished his face would just regulate its temperature better. He was just warm, he wasn't blushing. No.

"We?" Gerard asked Ray.

"Okay, I'll miss you."

Mikey could hear his own heart beating, oh, he was so fucked.

"I dunno.." Mikey began.

"Come, sit." Ray patted a spot next to himself, and Mikey found his legs were moving all on their own. He was so unbelievably fucked. He sat next to Ray, glancing at Gerard, who only sent him a knowing smirk. Asshole.

"Alright, Ray, you wanna show Mikes that last bit we were working on?" Gerard hummed softly.

Ray grinned, "Yeah- okay, so it starts with this..." Ray began playing, and Mikey was aware of Gerard making his 'dah dah dah dah's, but he wasn't listening to them. He could barely even hear Ray's voice whenever he paused to talk him, just staring at his face, his body, his fingers, watching them fly over the frets.

Mikey couldn't deny it any longer, he had to fucking admit it to himself, because it seemed that everyone but him knew. He was so fucking in love with Ray Toro.

——————————————————————————————

The show had gone great, or at least, good enough. Mikey could feel himself being more distracted, he was having a harder time staying focussed on his playing. Frank was.. well, he was Frank, rolling on his back on the floor, jumping up and down across the stage, just being a general threat to the safety of everyone.

Gerard would saunter around the stage, like a shark circling in the water. He was constantly moving, only stopping in brief moments to stand next to Frank, Ray, or Mikey himself, often sharing the mic with the two guitarists. And when Gerard wasn't by their sides, he was at the forefront, almost commanding authority, poiting the mic to the crowd, listening to them sing the lyrics back to him.

Mikey didn't move around much at all, just changing the position he was playing in when he felt a bit restless, or when his muscles began to feel a bit sore. Not to say he didn't move around the stage at all! He just kept to a very small bubble, sometimes he'd move closer to the front, or if he was feeling overwhelmed, he'd take a step back and face away from the fans, and instead towards his bandmates.

And then there was Ray. Ray typically didn't move as much, he usually just stayed to the stage left, ocassionally moving around in that general area, sometimes leaning against Gerard while the frontman sang, or he and Frank would sing into the microphone that was positioned on his side of the stage. Ray never really interacted with Mikey on stage at all.

But tonight was different.

Mikey was finishing off Ghost Of You, he could NOT wait for the next hotel night. He was so fucking tired of sleeping in a bunk, but they would have to wait until after the Baltimore show, because the next show after that wouldn't be for another seven days, so they'd have lots of time to just relax.

His thoughts and dreams of being able to sleep in a real bed were disrupted when Ray began walking over. Was something wrong? Ray never came to the right side of the stage. Ray just smiled at him, the colourful lights cast over his face.

"You're killing it Mikes!" He smiled, and Mikey was so glad for the multi-coloured lights, because his blush wouldn't be nearly as obvious now.

He smiled back, "o-oh, uh, thanks!" He had to almost yell it back to the taller man, the crowd was very loud tonight. "Y-you're uh, you're good too!"

Ray just kept grinning at him, moving one hand off his guitar and ruffling his hair. Mikey could feel himself starting to push into the touch, but quickly stopped himself and made a face. Ray only laughed and made his way back over to stage left, while Mikey tried to fix his hair.

Good fucking Lord, he should not have been as into Ray doing that as he had been, and yet here he was. I mean, Ray had just fucking.. Ray pet him. That's what that was. Ray was fucking petting him and there was Mikey, eager to fucking take it. He needed to get himself under control. Ray was just fucking around with him, this was nothing, Ray was just having fun! That's what Mikey kept telling himself.

And yet, as the concert went on, Ray continued to wander over to Mikey, playing right next to him, leaning his head on Mikey's shoulder, telling Mikey how good he was doing... good he was being. Mikey would never admit it to anyone, but he definitely messed up a few chords when Ray said that. Ray was just being nice. That's all. Because Ray is a nice person.

When the show had ended, Mikey was... very flustered, to say the least. He needed to get to a bathroom, and it was not because he needed to piss.

God, was he really about to do this? This wasn't like him at all! He was Mikey Fucking Way! If he wanted someone, he got them!

But... but not Ray. Ray was not just some random person to hook up with. Ray was one of his best friends. Friends. Strangers were easy, because you'd probably never see them again. You were both there for a quick orgasm, with maybe a bit of foreplay and very wet making out, and then you went about your lives.

Ray wasn't someone he could just hook up with, they were in the same band, for fucks sake! A hook up between them could ruin everything. The band would fall apart, and they'd all drift away from each other, until it was distant memories.

Mikey brushed past the stage techs and made his way down the hall into the bathroom, looking between the three stalls. He really had hit a new low. He entered the one on the right, furthest from the door, shutting it and locking the door. He unbuckled his belt, letting it dangle loosely off his jeans, pushing the denim down to around his thighs.

The bassist shut his eyes, slowly pushing his hand into his boxers, taking a light hold of his aching dick, letting out a shuddered breath. He ran his thumb over the slit of the tip, shivering and bucking into the sensation, moving his freehand to grip the barrier between the stalls.

His mind had started off blank, he just needed to get off quickly. However, as he began to move his hand, images in his head began to take shape. A large, broad hand moving to take hold of his dick, moving just in the same way Mikey had been. The hand would move so skillfully, rotating the angle of its grip to provide more pleasure to him.

But Mikey recognized that hand, and despite having his eyes shut, despite this all being something in his head, he looked up.

Ray's face took shape, eyes dark as he stared down at Mikey. Mikey could only feel his hand speed up, fuck fuck fuck- this was so fucked up. Here he was, in a public bathroom, jerking off to his bandmate and best friend. And yet, Mikey couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop. He could practically hear Ray's voice in his head, repeating the things he had said to Mikey over the past week.

His mouth fell open in a silent moan, just imagining it all. Pretending, just for a moment, that it was real. Maybe Ray would tell Mikey that he was being so quiet, that the younger was so good for not making a noise. Maybe Ray would tease him each time a little gasp or moan left his lips. Mikey could almost hear it. He'd probably say something like, 'Shhh, we wouldn't want anyone to hear you now, would we?' Just imagining the words had Mikey thumbing at the slit more, making his hips buck into his own hand.

Mikey needed more space, distainfully removing his hand from his dick so he could push his boxers down to around his thighs, so that way he could better grip, so he would have more room to move his hand. In his head, he had imagined it was Ray who pushed them down. He'd tell Mikey how much he wanted to see his body.

Mikey couldn't stop now, letting out breathy pants as he continued to stroke himself. He imagined how Ray would do it, how Ray would touch him. Ray wouldn't be on his knees, he didn't seem the type, no. Ray would be standing behind him, head rested on Mikey's shoulder, murmuring to him that he was doing so good. And Ray would be naked, too, standing behind him. Mikey's hand sped up again, biting his bottom lip to keep himself from moaning. He'd be able to feel Ray's arm moving against his body as Ray continued to jerk him off, and Ray's cock would be hard against his-

"Mikey?"

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

The bassist was fast to stop, moving to pull up his boxers and pants swiftly. "Y-Yeah?" Mikey tried his best to sound like he wasn't out of breath.

Ray's voice echoed throughout the room, "we've got like, two minutes." He told him.

"O-Okay! Thank you!" Mikey responded, listening closely. But Ray didn't move. God fucking damn it. He tucked himself back into his boxers, pulling his jeans back up to his hips, buckling his belt. Mikey at least had the foresight to flush the toilet so Ray hopefully wouldn't know what Mikey had been doing.

As Mikey opened the stall door, Ray glanced to him, shifting how he was standing and locking eyes. "Hey. You alright?" He asked.

Mikey's cheeks felt hot as he forced himself to look away, moving to wash his hands. "Wh-what do you mean?" He asked, chewing his bottom lip anxiously.

"You rushed off stage pretty fast there. And you're really red, especially your cheeks." Ray pointed out.

"Oh." Mikey swallowed, "just... just felt a bit queasy, y'know? Needed a moment.." Mikey tried to be as nonchalant as possible.

"Lemme see." Ray stepped closer to the younger, and before Mikey could say anything in protest, Ray was pressing his large, broad hand over Mikey's forehead. He frowned, "You're so hot, Mikes." Mikey shivered and averted his eyes to the ground, he must have been so fucking delusional, because despite the concerned look on Ray's face, Ray himself sounded more like he was complimenting Mikey. Hitting on him. Mikey had issues. "I hope you aren't getting sick."

Mikey forced himself to shrug and began to dry off his hands. He was still achingly hard, but he couldn't just ask Ray to jerk him off or something. That wouldn't happen.

"W-we should be heading to the bus though." Mikey told Ray, stepping aside and immediately mourning the loss of Ray's hand on his forehead.

"Mikes-"

"You can check if I have a fever there!" He told Ray as he walked out the door, aware of the presence of the curly haired guitarist behind him. Mikey glanced down at his pants, were there was a noticable bulge. He just hoped that Gerard and Frank were already in their bunks, because if they saw? Fuck, they would never let him live that down.

And for once, luck was somewhat on Mikey's side. Mikey had never been more thankful for Frank and Gerard dating. The two had already been in the bunks, trying to fool around when Mikey and Ray returned. Mikey went to his own bunk fairly quickly, putting earbuds in so he wouldn't have to listen to his brother moaning. Gross.

Only two more shows to Baltimore, and after the Baltimore show, they'd have hotel rooms. Mikey would be able to have some privacy. Looking down at his unresolved... issue... Mikey knew he needed it. Just a bit more to go.

——————————————————————————————

Mikey felt like he was going insane. Ray seemed to be close to him all the time now, and it was taking a lot of restraint to not do something. Or maybe Ray had always been so close to him, and Mikey was only noticing now because it was effecting him so much more now.

He could think back to times where Ray had been hanging around quite a bit, even if he never needed to, but the bassist wasn't sure if this was just his brain nitpicking little details from his memories to delude himself into thinking he actually had a chance with him. Just one more show, and then it was Baltimore, and a hotel room all to himself.

Mikey jumped suddenly as Gerard touched his arm, looking to his brother.

"You alright?" Gerard rose a brow, but unlike the past few days, it wasn't accompanied by a cocky smirk on his lips. No, this was geniune concern.

"I'm fine." Mikey responded all too quickly. Gerard just gave him a look, he could tell Gerard did not believe him for a second. "I am." He looked away. "M-maybe... I.. I dunno." He hung his shoulder in defeat.

"Come, we can talk while I do my makeup." Gerard told him, grabbing Mikey's hand and pulling the younger along to the backstage dressing room. "What's on your mind?" He asked while making Mikey sit on the stool, turning to look at the mirror so he could apply his eye liner.

Mikey opened his mouth, but then he shut it again. He didn't know where to start. "A lot." Mikey managed to say.

Gerard hummed, "I'm gonna need specifics, Mikes." He said while staring at his own reflection, holding his eyelid down to apply the product.

Mikey huffed and looked away. "You were right."

"I'm right about most things, you gotta narrow it down."

"You know what I mean!" Mikey hissed, looking towards the door, he didn't need anyone else listening in on them. "About..." Mikey stood, leaning close so he could whisper it to the elder. "About me and.. whatever is happening with Ray." He mumbled, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "Happy?"

Gerard paused what he was doing, eyes flickering over to Mikey through the mirror. "That you're into him? Or have some sort of praise kink thing?"

"Do we have to talk about that second one?" Mikey whispered to him.

"I can't help you out if I don't know what's going on, Mikes." Gerard resumed putting on the eye liner.

"I really do not wanna talk about my... interests. Not with my brother."

"Would you rather Frank?"

"Fuck no!"

"Then start talking, or I'm gonna go find him. Or I'll go find Ray-"

"Okay! Okay! Talking..." Mikey sat back on the stool, looking down at his shoes.

"So what got you to realize it?" Gerard switched over to his other eye, starting to carefully apply the eye liner.

"Few days ago... when you two were trying to make new songs." He sighed in defeat, "I don't know if he's always been that.. that touchy with me, or if I'm only noticing it now that.. that this is happening. Like I'm able to pick out points where Ray was around me and with me, and sometimes he'd be leaning against me or holding me..? But like, Ray is a touchy feely guy by nature!"

It was true. Despite his tall stature, Ray was almost dog-like. Following people around, wanting to be leaned against them, putting his hands on them. Mikey remembered the days of recording their first album, Ray bouncing around on his feet, or using Gerard's shoulders to jump higher, hugging the singer from behind with a big, cheery grin, his dorky glasses made him so cute, his hair hadn't been grown out back then.

Wait, huh?

Cute?

When the hell had Mikey been thinking like that?

Gerard grinned, as if he was reading Mikey's thoughts in that exact moment. "He is." The elder Way agreed, pausing, probably for dramatic effect, "though he seems to give a lot of attention to you."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious!" Gerard smiled as he finished his eye liner. "Stay, I'm gonna straighten your hair for you."

"I can do that myself, you know."

"Let me be a good brother, you asshole!" Gerard told him, plugging in the flattening iron and letting it heat up. "But for real, I am being serious."

"He really doesn't."

"Oh yeah? What about him always trying to stand next to you in band photos?" Gerard pointed out.

Mikey paused, "you and Frank are dating." He retorted.

"Really? Since when?" Gerard grinned.

"So it would be rude to place yourself in a way that separates a couple in photos." He added on. "Besides, he's straight, you know that."

"What makes you so certain?"

"I've only ever seen him with women, and only ever talk about women in the same way you and Frank talk about each other. He wanted to go to the fucking Netherlands for some chick." Mikey was not a fan of how bitter he sounded. "Or fuck, even in March, he was bragging to that interviewer guy about how he saw Courtney Love's ass and tits!"

"He meant breasts."

"Same fucking thing!" Mikey huffed, "I was at the Oscars party, I know he fucking looked!"

"Did you ever watch the interview though? Because to me, Ray sounded kinda... strained. Like he wasn't into it.

"Or he was very into it."

"Be still, this thing is hot and I'm not burning you." Gerard ordered, "but even then, that's still not proof! People can like dudes and chicks, I'm looking at someone who does right now."

Mikey rolled his eyes, "I'm aware of what I am. And Ray clearly isn't the same as me. He would've said something by now, or brought a guy back at some point." He mumbled as Gerard straightened his hair carefully.

"Or maybe he only want one guy."

"He doesn't."

"How do you know?"

"I just do, okay?"

"Have you asked him?"

"No, but-"

"Then why don't you ask?"

"BECAUSE WHEN HE SAYS NO, THE BAND WILL COLLAPSE AND I'LL HAVE NOTHING!" Mikey stood, and Gerard had only barely managed to pull the flattening iron away from Mikey's head.

Gerard frowned and looked to Mikey, "what.. what do you mean by 'you'll have nothing?' "

Mikey avoided Gerard's eyes. "You went to art school, Gee. Not just went, you graduated, you got a degree. You'll get picked up by someone. Marvel. DC. Or you'll produce things solo. But you'll have people right there, wanting to see it." His shoulders slumped.

"Mike-"

"Ray went to film school, he got his own degree, he'd probably end up in Hollywood, making big name movies, maybe even be the next Tarantino. And even if he didn't pursue film, he's already got enough musical talent to go solo himself. Piano, drums, guitar, he'd be selling out concerts on his own." He continued.

Gerard went to open his mouth to speak, but Mikey was once again cutting him off.

"Frank.. Frank dropped out of college, sure. Maybe he'd go back, but I doubt that. He's been in bands ever since he was eleven years old. He'd probably just make another, and he'd be able to pursue that for a while, maybe he'd be with Reggie for a while. Maybe he'd settle down entirely and you two would just live together. He would have somewhere to go."

Gerard's frown deepend as he set the flattening iron aside. Was Mikey truly so worried that this would happen?

"I dropped out of college for this, I didn't even know how to properly play bass, I had to learn as fast as I could because I believed in you, in this, because I had dreamed of the day I'd be able to play in a band with my big brother, where we'd be selling out venues, fuck, stadiums... the band breaks up, I lose everything, because who wants to know about the bassist?" He breathed.

"You're the frontman, the singer, the artist. Ray's the lead, the brains, the talent. Frank's the rhythm, the hope, the faith. What does that make me?"

Gerard stayed silent for a while, the only noise in the room was the buzzing of the lights above them and the slight rattle to the ventilation system as air passed through it.

"You're Mikey Fuckin Way."

Mikey looked up.

Gerard placed his hands on his shoulders, "you call me the artist, and yet it was you who gave us our name. You call Ray the talent, when you taught yourself bass in a matter of weeks. You call Frank the faith, but it was you who had faith in me. In us. In this dream, that we'd go up on a stage, not just in Jersey, but all over the fucking world, Mikey." He said softly, moving his hands to Mikey's cheeks and keeping their eyes locked. "You're pieces of all of us, combined. You're the bass, the glue that holds us together, the one who has our backs at all times, you're the dream, manifested. And most of all, you're my brother. And even if the band does fall apart, even if things do split.. you won't ever be alone again, because you'll always have me."

Mikey looked into Gerard's eyes, tears forming in the corners as he pushed himself forward and hugged the elder.

Gerard just cooed, "has.. has this truly been worrying you? That you liking Ray-" Mikey made panicked shushing noises, pressing his hand over Gerard's mouth.

"D-don't say it so loud!" He whispered, face bright red, the tears rolling down his cheeks silently.

Gerard pressed his lips together in a straight line as he pushed Mikey's hand off his mouth, nodding slowly, "that your... predicament.. would make the band split?" He spoke gently, using a make up wipe to carefully wipe away Mikey's tears.

Mikey looked away again, a sense of shame weighing him down, "I just.. I... what if I mess it up? And then he hates me?"

"He would never hate you for something you have zero control over. We know he isn't a homophobe, considering how he never complains about Frankie and I."

"Yeah, m-maybe if it isn't involving him. But this does! Wh-what if I try and he gets so grossed out over it?"

"He wouldn't be grossed out by it! If anything, he'd probably be flattered! I mean, look at you, Half of Jers-"

"Gee!" Mikey felt like a child, especially as he stomped his foot. "I'm serious here! What if.. he hates me forever?"

Gerard paused for a moment, looking at his own reflection in the mirror, thinking hard. His lips were no longer curled into a soft grin, slowly lowering.

Mikey didn't need Gerard's answer, he knew it wasn't one he'd ever be able to accept, no matter if it was the 'right' choice. He moved and picked up the flattening iron, unplugging it from the wall.

"Mikey? What are-"

"I'm going back to the bus. I'll see you on stage."

"Mikey!"

The younger kept walking. If Ray hated him..

Then he'd just have to move on.

——————————————————————————————

Mikey sighed as he felt the bus start moving again. Next stop, Baltimore. He couldn't fucking wait to be in his own fucking hotel room. A full week of just being able to relax, and then they'd be on a plane to the UK. He laid in his bunk, staring up at the top of it.

"Psst!"

Mikey startled briefly before taking a deep breath. He reached into his bag, grabbing his GameBoy from it. He wasn't sure what to play yet. He had Mario Kart, though it wasn't much fun playing by himself. He could try and beat that Zelda game he had. A Link To The Past.

"Psst! Mikey!"

Mikey stopped for a moment, setting his GameBoy back into his bag and peeking his head out of his bunk, looking around.

Ray had his head poked out of his own bunk, smiling once he saw him. "Cmere!" He whispered.

Mikey blushed, "like.. i-in your bunk?"

"Yeah! Come on!" Ray was still smiling widely.

"Um.. okay.. should I like.. bring anything?" Mikey asked.

"Condoms!" Frank hollered from his bunk, followed by an "ow!" Gerard had probably smacked him.

Mikey blushed more, "shut up!" He huffed to Frank.

"They wouldn't be needed anyways." Ray added.

"Ooh, going raw and everythi- ow!!" Frank whined as Gerard definitely smacked him again.

Mikey wanted to just curl up and die at that point. Frank was NOT helping in the slightest.

Ray just had this smirk on his lips before looking back to Mikey, "come on, I wanna show you something!" He sounded so excited. Mikey could faintly hear Frank, though it was safe to assume that Gerard was covering his mouth at this point.

Mikey slid out from his bunk, only dressed in batman pajama pants that had originally belonged to Gerard, and a solid black tee. He made his way over to Ray's bunk, "so I like-"

"Just get in here already!" Ray's arm burst out from behind the curtain that all the bunks had for privacy. It wrapped around Mikey so easily, pulling him close. Mikey shrieked and bent over, getting into the bunk with Ray. Fuck, why was Ray shirtless? He needed to be killed, right then and there.

God, he never had such.. issues with it before, he had seen Ray shirtless loads of times, how come he was only reacting to it now?

"Check this out!" Ray moved a small object into view. It was a sphere, translucent. He pushed a button on the side and it lit up.

"Woah.." Mikey breathed. He could see dots and words on it, though he must've been tired, because he couldn't read the words.

"That's not all though. Come, here-" Ray pulled Mikey to lay next to him with such ease, Mikey had to mentally scream at himself to calm the fuck down.

"Now look up."

Mikey looked to the top of the bunk, and his eyes widened. The words on the sphere were in reverse so they could be projected onto ones ceiling. "Are... are these.. stars?" He asked, turning to look at Ray, who was already looking at him.

Ray smiled widely, "Constellations, yeah!" He nodded, "you can make the globe tilt and spin to show the ones all over the world, it even comes with this little laser pointer so you can point things out!" He showed it off. The light of the laser wasn't all that bright, but it worked nonetheless. "Can you name any constellations? I mean, without looking at the names at the bottom of them, obviously."

Ray held the laser up to Mikey's face, hinting for Mikey to take it. "Um.. I mean.." he turned on the laser, "thats.. one of the Dippers?"

"What one?" Ray asked softly.

"Uhhh.. I mean, I don't think it could be projected any larger.. so.. The Big Dipper?" He guessed.

Ray smiled even more, "thats right! Good job! You did so good!" He looked back to Mikey, and the younger was back in his hesd, trying to get his heart to stop thundering in his chest. "Do you know the name of the constellation it's a part of though?"

"I thought The Big Dipper was the constellation?" Mikey asked, and when Ray laughed softly, he couldn't help but feel a bit stupid.

"No, The Big Dipper itself is part of a larger constellation called Ursa Major, meaning Greater Bear in Latin. The Big Dipper just happens to be the brightest of the stars in the constellation." Ray explained. "So, using that knowledge.. what constellation is The Little Dipper a part of?"

"Uh.. Ursa Minor?" Mikey guessed carefully.

Ray smiled, "thats right! God, you're so good!"

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Maybe Ray was into him, I mean, it felt like he was trying to train Mikey like a fucking dog! No.. no, Ray didn't like him, Ray's just being nice! Definitely! Totally! There's no way Ray would want him.

"Th-Thanks.. thats.. all I know, though.." He mumbled softly.

"That's alright! Will you let me teach you?" Ray asked, "I'd love it if you would stay here a while..." he looked at Mikey with such soft eyes, flickering over Mikey's face.

Mikey bit his lip slightly, hoping it wasn't obvious as he nodded slowly. He didn't trust his voice right now. Not in the slightest.

Ray moved his hand across his own chest, his thumb and index finger taking hold of Mikey's chin.

Mikey felt like jello, no, clay, like Ray could just mold the younger under his touch, like Ray could push him into any form, and he'd allow it, pliant and willing.

Ray moved Mikey's head to face the ceiling of the bunk again, moving his hand away. Mikey immediately missed the touch. Ray grabbed the laser pointer from Mikey's fingers, their hands intertwining for just the briefest of moments before they were separated once more.

The older of the two men smiled, "alright, so there's obviously the zodiac signs, but they're also split into four elements! So for fire there's Aries, which is Gerard's sign, Leo, and Sagittarius. For air, it's Libra, Gemini, and Aquarius. The three water signs are Pisces, Scorpio, which is Frank's sign, and Cancer, which is mine! And then theres the earth signs, I saved the best for last! Taurus, Capricorn, and best of all, Virgo." Ray smiled, spinning the globe to circle each zodiac constellation as he told Mikey all about them.

Mikey had not processed much, other than Ray, Frank, and Gerard's zodiac signs. "Why's Virgo the best?" Mikey tilted his head.

"That's your sign, Mikes."

"My sign to what?" Mikey paused and blushed, "oh- wait-"

Ray burst into laughter, literally throwing his head back.

Mikey groaned, "shut up! I'm tired okay! I'm running off like, five hours of sleep and not enough coffee!"

Ray chuckled and shook his head, "you and your coffee..." he mumbled.

"So like, why are the zodiacs important?" Mikey asked in an attempt to keep Ray talking.

"Oh! It's... I actually have no idea."

It was now Mikey's turn to laugh, and Ray could only roll his eyes.

"I just like space! I like knowing the constellations, what star is which, it's just interesting to me!" Ray was smiling widely, wrinkles forming where his cheeks curved.

Mikey nodded carefully. "So.. what makes you so..." Mikey paused, trying to think of how to word the sentence best, "interested in it all? Why is it so important to you?"

Ray turned his head to look at Mikey, "because we get to exist in the perfect moment. A huge percentage of the stars we see in the sky? They're already long gone, or maybe they went supernova and became something even better! And yet the sky still shines for us, so many bright stars in the sky, and yet despite many being already dead, their light is still carried on throughout the cosmos." He breathed, eyes focused intently on Mikey.

"For as long as we're alive, there will never be true darkness. There will always be a ray of light to reach out to. To turn to. To comfort you." Ray whispered carefully, like it was a secret to never be told. "For as long as we both live... the rays will always be there."

Mikey felt his cheeks flush as Ray spoke so softly. He loved seeing Ray like this, talking about the things he was passionate about, watching his eyes light up, his voice carrying throughout the bus.

Mikey could let himself pretend that things were different. That they were something more.

Even though they weren't.

...but it couldn't hurt to pretend.. right?

"Tell me more." Mikey whispered to Ray. Ray looked back at the ceiling of the bunk, starting to ramble about the other visible stars on the globe. Mikey just listened intently, smiling to himself as he watched Ray's face the whole time, nodding along, even when he really did not understand a damned thing.

He let himself imagine things were different. That they were under a real night sky, the only light surrounding them would be the stars and the moon. It would be a date. They'd be laid out on a large blanket, cuddled up next to each other. And when Mikey would doze off under the stars, Ray wouldn't have the heart to wake him, so he would pick the younger up, wrapped in the blankets, and carry him back to the car. Or maybe into a house, where he'd lay Mikey on the bed, and he'd whisper how much he loved him.

Mikey could dream. He did dream.

——————————————————————————————

Baltimore. Just this show, and after that, they'd all be in a hotel room. Four hotel rooms with large, comfy beds to lay in. They really only needed three rooms, the fourth being for the tour manager.

Mikey was turning his bass while he listened to Ray jamming out to his 'Psych Up' playlist. He was currently playing along to 'Bulls On Parade' by Rage Against The Machine. Ignoring the sounds of their instruments, there was a silence between them.

Mikey had woken up in Ray's bunk that morning. He had fallen asleep while Ray rambled on about the universe, and Ray had confessed that he hadn't had the heart to wake Mikey or try and move him back to his own bunk.

So Ray let Mikey stay in the bunk. Next to him. Mikey had been cuddled up to Ray when he opened his eyes, Ray's arm was wrapped around his waist, hand resting on the small of his back. Mikey would never admit it, but he had actually woken up much before Ray had, but he wanted to keep living in the delusion that they did have something.

So Mikey had pretended to wake when Ray had begun moving about. He'd take that to his grave, even if Gerard definitely already knew the truth.

"You excited?" Ray's voice interrupted Mikey's thoughts.

"Huh?" He put his fingers to the strings of his bass, silencing the instrument.

"For tonight! After this, we've got a full week off! Well, almost full week." Ray shrugged.

Mikey nodded slowly, "yeah, I can't wait to sleep in a real bed. I'm so fucking tired of the bunks." He complained, stretching his neck out a bit. "What about you?"

"I mean, I'm excited to have the small break... but I'm not exactly excited about the plane."

"You never are." Mikey pointed out.

Ray laughed lightly, "I just... it's that point when you're ascending and descending, you know there's gonna be turbulance, but you don't know when it's gonna start, how long it's gonna be, how strong it'll be, when it'll end- we spend a huge chunk of our lives on the ground, and then we're able to stay off the ground? In a huge metal machine?!"

"And yet you wanna go to space?" Mikey teased lightly, grinning as Ray looked at him with mock offense.

"Hey, that is different! I mean, for starters, the way rockets take off is super straight forward! Point up, hit the engines, flames push you into the sky, and then you're there!"

"I don't think it's the fire that makes the rocket move."

"Hush, you know what I mean. You can actively see the fuel being used with a rocket! Can you see that with a plane?"

"Isn't that what contrails are?"

Ray threw his hands in the air, and Mikey couldn't help but laugh loudly at the annoyed look on Ray's face. Ray looked over at him and his lips formed into a soft grin, "you have a really nice laugh, y'know."

Mikey blushed, "h-huh?"

"Your laugh is just.. it's nice. I like it. I wanna hear it more often."

Mikey looked down at the strings of the bass, "thanks.. I'll um... I'll get us tickets to a comedy show?" Mikey really had no clue how to respond to that, but his answer must have been acceptable, because Ray was now laughing himself.

"If we're going to anything together, it's the WWE." Ray grinned. He spoke so confidently about that too.

Mikey couldn't help but snort.

Ray only doubled down, "I'm serious Mikey! It's not like we can't afford it at this point! You and I are gonna go watch a WWE fight! It'll be like a date, but instead of dinner, it'll be two dudes fighting!"

It'll be like a date

Mikey felt like his head was spinning, looking away quickly, his entire face going red, he could feel it in his ears. "O-oh- well I'll look forward t-to that.." Mikey paused as he realized that Ray could easily see that as Mikey confessing his feelings. He couldn't tell Ray, not for a moment! Say something else! ".. in like, seven years when there's tickets actually available." He added.

Ray chuckled and looked at the clock on the wall, they still had a bit more time.

"Just means we gotta wrestle with each other."

Mikey choked on his own spit, coughing frantically. He slid his bass off himself as he coughed, Ray pushing his own guitar aside and grabbing one of the platic water bottles in the room. He rushed to Mikey's side as he coughed.

"Here- drink." He unscrewed the cap and put it to Mikey's lips. Mikey's face was very red, though Mikey wasn't sure if it was from him being so fucking flustered by Ray, or him nearly dying to his own saliva. He didn't know what answer was better. Ray just tipped the water bottle carefully, humming. "Small sips. That's it. Good. You're doing good." Ray's tone has shifted slightly, and Mikey felt himself shiver.

Mikey moved a hand to grab the water bottle, moving it away from his lips. Ray handed him the cap to the bottle, and Mikey was quick to screw it back on. "Th-thanks." He looked down shyly.

Ray's hands moved to Mikey's cheeks and forced Mikey to look up at him. "Feeling better now?" He asked softly.

Mikey nodded.

"Words." Mikey truly had no clue what was happening to him, but he felt himself obeying Ray's commands.

"Yes. I'm o-o-okay."

"Good." Ray smiled, standing slowly and looking back at Mikey. "I'll see you up there, alright?"

Mikey began to nod, but something in the back of his mind still wanted to obey what Ray had said.

"Yeah. I'll be th-there. O-obviously." He laughed nervously.

Ray smiled and turned back around, leaving the room. Though Mikey swore that as the curly haired guitarist left the room, he spoke two more words. Words just for Mikey.

Good boy.

——————————————————————————————

Finally. Fucking finally, hotel night. Mikey was excited to just relax, maybe he'd try and distract himself, find someone cute, someone who could take his mind off things. And yet, that felt wrong. He felt guilty for even considering that. Mikey would probably just shower, jerk off, maybe finger himself a bit, and then fall asleep with the TV playing so he could pretend he wasn't so alone.

The band all sat on the bus, Mikey knew that Gerard and Frank were definitely very excited. Long breaks between shows like this just meant Gerard got to blow Frank without fucking up his voice for concerts. Mikey just hoped that his hotel room would be furthest from the couple, because he wasn't interested in hearing his brother have sex.

Mikey grinned as the bus came to a stop, grabbing his suitcase and damn near racing off the bus, the rest of the band in tow. The band manager, Brian, took the lead as they approached the front desk, getting them checked in.

"I'm sorry, but it only says you've got three rooms booked." The receptionist frowned.

"What? No, we definitely booked four rooms." Gerard spoke up.

"I'm looking at it in the system right now, we only have three rooms booked under your names. Three rooms with a single queen bed."

"Look- we don't have the time for this." Brian told Gerard, "it just means that someone else has to share a room."

Brian worked hard, he dealt with theif bullshit all the time. Without even speaking, the band all seemed to agree.

"You take a room to yourself, man." Ray hummed, "Mikey and I can share. Right?" He looked at Mikey.

"Yes." Mikey nodded. Why did he say it like that? God, he should've just nodded, or said 'Sure!' Literally any other word would have worked.

Brian took the three key cards and passed two to the members of the band. "If you need me, knock on my door. Otherwise, goodnight." He told them, going to the elevators.

Mikey looked at the key cards, "why are we on different floors?" He asked.

"Who cares?" Gerard retorted as they walked to the elevators, where Brian had clearly already caught one.

"I dunno, it just seems odd?" Mikey mumbled.

"Would you rather our rooms be super close?" Frank grinned.

"Fuck no." Mikey shook his head, sighing as an elevator arrived. The four of them stepped onto it with their bags, Frank hit their floor numbers. Gerard and Frank were on the third floor, so was Brian. Mikey and Ray would be on the fourth floor. Why wouldn't Gerard take the fourth floor room for more privacy with Frank?

Gerard smiled as he felt the elevator come to a stop. He giggled and pulled Frank with him, smiling at the other two as the doors began to shut. "Have fun you two!" He giggled.

Mikey's brows furrowed. Three rooms when they were certain they booked four. Giving Brian the only lone room. Mikey and Ray being roomed together. Mikey and Ray's room being separated from the other two. With only a large queen bed.

Gerard had fucking PLANNED this.

Gerard smiled innocently as he caught the look on Mikey's face, and the doors shut before Mikey could chase his brother down and curse him out.

"So, what are your plans for tonight?" Ray's voice was soft behind him. Mikey blushed. His original plans were out the window now.

"I dunno.. probably just relax? Try to sleep?" He shrugged.

"I brought my star globe, so it should look better on a real ceiling." The guitarist grinned as the elevator stopped again, "we can look at it together, if you wanted."

Mikey blushed and forced himself to nod, "that sounds nice.." he stepped off the elevator, looking around the hall at the room numbers, mumbling the number he was looking for aloud.

"417. This is our room." Mikey scanned the key card and opened the door, stepping inside. Ray set his bag in the door and moved right up against Mikey, making the youngers breath catch in his throat.

"Don't mind me. Just putting the 'do not disturb' sign on the door." Ray hummed with ease, slipping it onto the outside of the door and shutting it, moving the locks in place.

"R-right. Course." Mikey stepped aside and into the room. It was actually fairly large. A door that led to the bathroom on their left, a bit further in was a very mini kitchen, a small couch hugged one of the walls, a big window at the back, and of course, the single queen bed.

Ray was bigger than him, taller than him. It only seemed fair to Mikey to let him take the bed. "I'm gonna get into my pajamas.." Mikey yawned, man, he was more tired than he realized.

"Same." Ray hummed as he moved his bag further into the room.

Mikey began to search through his bag, grabbing the batman pajama pants, looking up as he heard something heavy hit the floor. He held in a squeak and blushed. Ray was getting undressed, right there, as if it was no big deal!

"Right here?" Mikey managed to sputter out, cheeks flushed.

"It's not anything you haven't seen." Ray laughed as he stepped out of his pants. His boxers left very little to the imagination.

Mikey was at least smart enough to avert his eyes away from the older man before he could pull his boxers down, though he did mentally mourn that he didn't get to look. He stood and went into the bathroom, quickly changing out of his clothes and into the pajamas. He briefly debated trying to jerk off, he'd need to be so quiet.. but he knew he could not be as quiet as he would need to be. Especially when Ray would be so close.

Mikey walked out from the bathroom, moving towards the window and looking over the city. "You can have the bed to yourself." He said softly.

"Huh? Why?" Ray looked up.

"You're larger than me, it'll be more comfortable for you to have the bed, I'll take the couch." Mikey spoke, turning and making his way to the couch.

"Aw, Mikey, you're so good to me." Ray had an almost teasing quality in his voice.

I can be good for you too.

"What?" Ray asked.

"What?" Mikey looked at him.

"You said something there."

Oh fuck. Mikey said that out loud. Fuck. How the fuck would he play this off? Uh, play dumb!

"I did?" Mikey turned away, "I don't remember.."

Ray laughed, "fuck, you must be really tired! Maybe you should take the bed, hmm?"

Mikey shook his head, "no no- the couch is fine. You can have the bed."

"We could just share it." Ray pointed out. Mikey couldn't, he knew he would NOT be able to handle it. Knowing his luck, he'd get a hard on and have to try and deal with it.

"Just take the bed Ray!" Mikey told him.

"Mikey, get in the bed or I will make you." Ray spoke sharply. It took all of Mikey's willpower to not cave and crawl onto the bed.

"Mhm. Sure." Mikey tried to keep his voice even, curling up on the couch, back facing the room. He shut his eyes as he laid on the uncomfortable cushions.

Until he was being lifted in the air. His eyes shot open, hands immediately moving to wrap around Ray's shoulders. Oh god- Ray really was making him go to the bed. He knew his cheeks were burning at this point, fuck. "R-Ray-" he squeaked as Ray placed him so gently on the mattress, and he forced himself to look away from Ray's bare chest.

"Yeah?" He hummed as he moved onto the bed, shifting until he was next to Mikey, his body was so warm.

Mikey refused to look at him, "n-nothing. Goodnight." He mumbled, taking off his glasses, carefully folding the arms in before setting them on the nightstand next to the bed. He moved down a bit so he could lay his head on the pillow, shutting his eyes.

"Goodnight Mikey." Ray whispered softly into the air. Mikey could feel Ray shifting around behind him, but he paid it no mind. Mikey had been so tired earlier, but now? Now he couldn't sleep at all. He was wide awake. He was full of too much energy.

He moved around in the bed slightly, trying to get comfortable, but nothing seemed to feel right. He could feel the mattress bouncing slightly under himself as he tried to find a position where he felt supported, waiting a few seconds to see if it would hold up, but something would feel wrong at the end of it all. Mikey almost shrieked as one of Ray's hands moved and grabbed his waist, holding him in place.

"Mikey.." he hummed, "relax." Ray mumbled softly.

"S-sorry- I-I'm sorry.. j-j-just having a hard time getting c-comfortable.." he could feel his dick hardening in his own boxers. Fuck, he would need to run off to the bathroom now for sure. Maybe he'd shower to be less suspicious.

All those thoughts got cut short as Ray suddenly pulled his body closer, wrapping an arm around Mikey's torso while the other steadied him. "Better?"

Mikey blushed brightly, nodding.

"Words."

"Y-yes. Th-thank you." Mikey spoke without even thinking. God, he was so fucked in the head, obeying orders like a dog. Mikey felt Ray moving a bit behind him, one of his hands was damn near groping Mikey's chest, though it wasn't like there was much to grab at. This was fine. It was all good. Mikey just needed to relax. And yet he still couldn't, shifting slightly again, and it seemed like he was annoying Ray.

Ray's hand other hand gripped his waist tighter, "Mikey..." his tone was warning.

"I'm s-sorry- I'm sorry.. j-just.. can't relax.." Mikey stammered.

Ray just chuckled lightly, and Mikey could feel him leaning closer, his breath against his neck, "what happened to being good for me?"

Oh fuck.

Fuck.

Mikey tried to spin around so fast, apologies flying from his lips, Mikey could barely even form his sentences, stammering and stuttering. "I'm sorry- I didn't mean- and I- and you were- I was- it's just- the other- you-" but Ray kept him held in place. Oh god, he ruined everything.

Mikey's breath hitched in his throat as Ray pulled Mikey's hips back against his own, because he felt it.

Ray was hard. And not just a little, but very hard. Ray kept their hips flush together, rolling his own forward, and Mikey couldn't stop the soft moan that left his mouth.

Ray smirked and chuckled again, his hand moving down from Mikey's torso and to his crotch. Mikey's hips bucked involentarily as Ray's hand ghosted over his own erection. "Already?" He teased, his other hand rubbing circles into the flesh of his hip.

Mikey flushed and panted, "I-I-I'm sorry, 'm s-s-sorry-"

"Why are you sorry, hm?" Ray asked, moving Mikey to lay on his back, "you haven't done anything wrong..." He cooed, pulling his hand away from Mikey's crotch and using it to hold Mikey's face by the chin, staring him deeply in the eyes, "quite the opposite... you've been such a good boy..."

Mikey moved to put his hands to his mouth in an attempt to muffle the noise that threatened to escape him.

Ray just grinned at him, "you like that? Being told how good you are? That you're such a good boy?"

Mikey nodded eagerly, he couldn't stop himself at this point.

"Words, Mikey."

"Y-yes!" Mikey's hands moved away from his mouth to speak, and then he was back to covering it again.

"Good boy." Ray praised softly, caressing his cheek, "you like that too, don't you? Being ordered around? Obeying me?"

Mikey began to nod, but stopped himself, Ray wanted words, "y-yes."

"Well, lets give you an order to obey then." He chuckled, moving the bedsheets off of them and discarding his pajama pants. He hadn't been wearing boxers.

Fuck, Mikey had seen Ray naked before, but it was different like this, in such a intimate setting, with the curly haired guitarist completely hard. Mikey could practically feel himself drool.

"Mm, I see you already know what you gotta do, yeah?" Ray moved so his back was against the headboard, "go on Mikes.. I've heard the stories.. show me how good of a cocksucker you really are." Ray's tone had shifted into one that Mikey felt compelled to obey, and even if Ray hadn't told him to, Mikey had still wanted to feel his cock in his mouth.

Mikey moved to between Ray's legs, rubbing his tongue around against the roof of his mouth to collect more saliva, leaning over him. Ray was big, larger than average for sure, long and thick, the head of his cock already leaking with precum. Mikey took a deep breath and took the tip into his mouth, shutting his eyes and moaning around him. God, this was even better than he imagined it would be, it had his own dick aching in his pajama pants.

Ray let out a low groan of content and hummed, "yeah... just like that, atta boy..." he praised softly, "take what you can, baby..."

Mikey just whined around him and bobbed his head slowly, going lower on his cock, lips wrapped around him so good. He let his tongue lick along the underside of Ray's cock, pulling off for some air before leaning back down, swallowing him into his mouth once more. He felt Ray's hands move into his hair, gripping at the scalp and grunting softly.

"Fuck- you're so good for me, Mikey.. being so good, don't stop..." Mikey's eyes fluttered open to look at Ray, whose head was tilted back, lips parted, holding Mikey in place with those strong arms of his. Mikey took a breath through his nose and began to take more of Ray into his mouth, he had maybe gotten about two thirds of his cock in his mouth at this point, and Mikey wanted so desperately to get all of it in his mouth. He wanted to show Ray just how good he was.

Mikey pulled himself up to take another deep gasp of air, panting heavily as he caught his breath, locking eyes with Ray. Ray's hand moved to cup Mikey's cheek, cooing gently, "you look so fucking gorgeous like this." He hummed softly.

Mikey blushed and leaned back down again with one final breath, sinking his head as far down as he could, gagging around Ray as the tip of his cock hit the back of his throat. Before Ray could possibly pull Mikey off and tell him not to force it, Mikey was focusing deeply, allowing his throat to relax, moaning as he felt the tip of Ray's cock slip further, moving a hand to his neck to feel it.

Ray followed Mikey's movements with his own hand, groaning, his cock completely inside Mikey's mouth, the tip of it reaching just above Mikey's adams apple. Ray gave a small thrust, feeling the way it moved, moaning again, "Fuck- you're such a good boy, Mikey.. taking me so fucking good..." he praised.

Mikey's eyes were glassy with tears, bobbing his head as best as he could, his jaw was already aching at this point, but he didn't want to stop, whining around the older as his hands held Mikey's head in place, giving a few shallow thrusts before lifting Mikey's head off. Mikey was immediately trying to follow Ray's cock back to the mattress, to wrap his mouth around it again, but Ray simply tsk'ed and forced Mikey to look at him.

"That's enough baby... you did so good for me... and as much as I would love to keep going like this... I would rather cum somewhere else..." Ray whispered, pushing one hand downwards and into Mikey's pajama pants, his hand cupping Mikey's ass, which was still covered by his boxers. Ray paid that no mind, moving his hand between his ass cheeks and dipping his finger over were he knew Mikey's asshole was, grinning widely as Mikey gasped, head falling forward against Ray's chest. "Unfortunately, I can't... not with all these clothes in the way..." Ray whispered in his ear, his voice teasing.

Mikey was quick to sit upright, pushing off his pajama pants, and making quick work of his boxers. Mikey's dick sprung up when it was released from the confines of the clothing, hard and already leaking precum.

Ray hummed, raising a brow, "your shirt?" He said softly.

Mikey looked down, fidgetting with the hem of it. "I.. a-are you sure?" Mikey had never been too confident about his body, his torso and chest area was the spot he disliked most. Despite the fact that Mikey was the most active he had ever been his whole life, he was still scrawny, like there was no substance to his body, just skin and bones.

Ray cooed softly, moving his hands to Mikey's hips, "why wouldn't I be? You're so handsome, Mikey. Everything about you is so perfect." Ray smiled, "if you'd rather keep it on, I get that. Do what makes you feel comfortable."

Mikey couldn't belueve that Ray was just so... understanding. Previous partners of his didn't enjoy that Mikey tended to keep his shirt on, unless he had a boost of confidence. Maybe it was because Mikey realized he'd never learn to feel comfortable with his body if he kept it on, or maybe it was because he felt safe here, like he could completely trust Ray. He took a shaky breath and shut his eyes, pulling his shirt off, and for good measure, he tossed it by his bag.

When he turned back to look at Ray, the guitarist was looking over him as if he had been sculpted from marble. "So pretty.." he purred, hands moving up Mikey's body, feeling over the skin.

Mikey giggled lightly and shivered has Ray's caloused fingers dragged over his skin, "am I handsome or pretty? M-make up your mind.." he laughed softly.

Ray just hummed, bringing a hand up to Mikey's face, caressing his cheek again as he stared deeply into his eyes, "who says you can't be both?" He whispered softly, smiling when Mikey smiled and blushed brightly. His other hand moved down to Mikey's hip, then slowly moved over the small of his back, his middle finger sat on the end of Mikey's tail bone. "When's the last time you fingered yourself baby? Did you do it in the bathroom? Back in Connecticut?" He smirked.

Mikey's blush turned from one of bashfulness to embarrassment. "H-how- I-I- how did-"

Ray laughed softly, "I told you, I had my suspicions. And when you ran off stage so fast, I knew. So I may have followed you..." he whispered, moving to lay Mikey out on the bed on his back.

Ray's fingers traced over his body lightly, moving upwards towards Mikey's face, "and I listened to you fumble with your jeans, all the little gasps you made... God, it was driving me insane..." Ray continued, "and then I called out your name... and you stopped. I waited... I could see how flustered you were when you stepped out... you looked so hot." He mumbled, moving his head to press kisses against Mikey's skin.

Mikey's eyes widened as Ray's words from that night replayed in his head.

You're so hot, Mikey.

"You were flirting with me!" Mikey gasped at the realization.

Ray paused kissing Mikey's skin to laugh, forehead on Mikey's shoulder, "of course I was!" He spoke like it was so obvious. "I went in there because I was hoping it could be that final push... that you would ask me to help you... that you'd beg for me..."

Mikey whimpered and blushed, "I thought I-I was just reading to far i-i-into things... I thought you were straight!" He protested weakly.

"You never asked if I was."

"Didn't think I needed to with how you would give so many women attention..." It felt hypocritcal to be jealous, considering how many people, man and woman, Mikey had not just given attention to, but slept with.

"You do know that Courtney Love is forty-one, right?" Ray laughed again.

"Still! I never saw you with any men!"

"Because I had my eyes set on only one." Ray whispered softly, moving up to look at Mikey.

Their eyes locked together. "How... h-how long have you been into me?" Mikey asked carefully.

Ray pursed his lips together, "2002. May. When we really got the band started up." He spoke softly, caressing his cheek.

"You.. why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't think I could. You were always my best friends baby brother. Something about it felt... bad. So I tried hooking up with other people, hoping that feeling would go away. But it never did." Ray hummed, "I only decided to get more obvious with it when Frank and Gee got together.. Frank had been your friend before he met Gerard, so if it was okay for them.. I thought it would've been fine for me."

Thinking about it, Mikey realized that Ray hadn't had any hook ups for a while. About a month after Frank and Gerard had gotten together.

"What about you, gorgeous? How long have I been on your mind?" Ray's tone was teasing, but there was an air of curiosity to it.

Mikey chewed on his lip, shivering as Ray's fingers brushed against a sensitive area of his skin. Mikey had only been truly aware of these feelings for about a week now... but he had a feeling that it probably went further back then he realized. He frowned, "I... I-I don't know..."

If Ray was disappointed by the answer, he didn't let it show, simply humming and leaning close, "well we have our time now..." he whispered, placing his hand to Mikey's mouth, "suck." He instructed.

Mikey immediately opened his mouth, allowing Ray to push his fingers in, swirling his tongue around the digits, coating them with his saliva. Something about the way that Ray ordered him to do things.. it made his head feel light, as if he no longer had any obligations in life, like all responsibilities had evaporated into thin air.

Ray pulled his hand back, chuckling when Mikey whined slightly. "Don't worry, I'll give you something better to do with your mouth while I get you nice and stretched out... you're gonna need it." He hummed, moving his spit covered fingers to Mikey's ass, his middle finger circling the hole teasingly before he pushed it in slowly.

Mikey gasped and bit his lip, Ray's fingers were larger than his, though that was obvious. He squeezed his eyes shut, panting softly. When he felt Ray's other hand on his cheek, his eyes opened slightly. Ray stared at Mikey's lips, and then he leaned in and connected them.

Mikey had never believed all those movies or books about how the first kiss was pure magic, how it was like fireworks and you got butterflies, he always thought it was a bunch of bullshit, until it was Ray kissing him, and he felt it all.

His hands were immediately on either side of Ray's face, moving their lips together, his heart racing in his chest. When he felt Ray's mouth open and his tongue slide against his bottom lip, Mikey was eager to open his own mouth, granting Ray full access. There was no 'battle for dominance' with their tongues, because they both already knew who was in control. It was more of a dance, intimate and moving together as one. Mikey's moans were muffled against Ray's lips as one finger became two, moving and crooking around inside of Mikey, trying to get him stretched out enough.

Mikey pulled back with a gasp, a string of saliva connected their lips as they both panted heavily, and then they were kissing again. Ray's lips were intoxicating, and Mikey could not get enough of it, his fingers curling into the older's hair, their tongues pushing against each others as they moaned and groaned into the others mouths. Ray would ocassionally spread his fingers out a bit to help get the younger opened up and stretched out faster, only adding a third finger when he was certain Mikey could take it.

Mikey tossed his head back and moaned as a third finger pushed past the ring of muscles, moaning into the open air, "Oh fuck- Ray-" Mikey breathed out.

Ray grinned against Mikey's neck, "yes?" He hummed, starting to litter his flesh with little love bites and hickeys, sucking on skin just above his collar.

"T-talk- p-p-please? Please Ray?" Mikey panted softly.

"I'm talking right now, Mikey." He chuckled softly.

Mikey whined, "n-no- I mean talk to me."

"I am Mikey." Ray laughed again, still moving his fingers around, continuing to stretch Mikey open.

"Ray!" Mikey whined with a mixture of pleasure and annoyance.

"You gotta tell me what it is you need, baby... I can't help you if you aren't specific." Ray sat up more, looking at the man below him. He looked so desperate.

"Y-you kn-know..!" He panted, eyes big and pleading, but Ray didn't budge.

"Say it Mikey. Tell me what you need." Ray hummed as he returned to kissing over his neck

Mikey flushed, voice soft and shy, "talk a-about how g-g-good I am.. t-tell me.. please? Please..?" Mikey begged quietly.

"There you go- good boy... that's all you had to do, baby... so good for me, you took my cock so fucking well, gorgeous.." Ray mumbled against his skin, "looked so pretty with your lips wrapped around me like that..." he smiled as he crooked his fingers at just the right spot, grinning when Mikey cried out loudly and gasped. "You make such beautiful noises, Mikey.. and they're all for me, right?"

"Y-yes- yes- o-only for you- R-Ray please-" Mikey begged more, trying to push his hips downwards so he could ride Ray's hand.

"Good boy... so eager for me... you think you're ready?" Ray pulled back again to look at Mikey's face, scanning it for any hesitation.

"P-please- I-I am- I-I wanna take you so much, Ray- wanna feel you inside of me- I-I need it..." Mikey moaned again as Ray pressed his fingers up against his prostate.

"Hmm, you sure you don't just want my fingers? You seem to like them a lot..." his tone was teasing, a soft grin on his lips.

"Mmhm! W-want you to feel good too- please Ray- w-want your cock in-inside of me..." Beads of sweat were forming on Mikey's head as he spoke, chest rising and falling with every pant he made.

Ray smirked, "aw, you really are so good to me, aren't you? My good boy... mm, don't you worry." He pulled his fingers out from Mikey and spat on his hand, rubbing his cock slowly for a moment and groaning, "I'm gonna give you everything, baby..." he whispered, positioning the tip right at Mikey's enterance. "Mikey..?" His voice was softer.

"Hm?" Mikey looked at Ray.

"Tell me if it's too much. I don't want you to try and force yourself to take it out of fear that you'll disappoint me." Ray spoke gently, caressing his cheek. "I don't want to hurt you."

Mikey blushed and nodded, "p-promise I'll tell you."

Ray smiled, "good boy." He kissed his cheek before he pushed the tip of his cock in, making a low groan in the back of his throat. Mikey gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, because despite the prep, there was certainly still quite a stretch.

He wrapped his arms around Ray's shoulders, breath shaky as Ray's lips were suddenly on his, helping to distract Mikey from the uncomfortable sensation as his body struggled to relax. Ray hummed against his lips, pushing a little deeper into Mikey, but not thrusting, not yet.

Their lips moved with a sense of urgency, frantic and wild, Ray would nip at Mikey's lips and Mikey's breath would catch, and they'd have to pull back so he could breathe, and then they were right back to it.

Ray made a soft noise as Mikey let out a sharp gasp when he pushed a bit further inside of Mikey. "You okay?" He pulled back.

Mikey nodded, "y-yeah- j-just- you're- you're really big... I-I feel like you're gonna break me!" Mikey moaned out, his grip on Ray's hair tightening.

Ray cooed gently, "don't worry... I'll put you back together." He promised.

Mikey smiled weakly at that and bit his lip, "t-try moving? D-don't go all the way in yet.. j-just.. m-move around a little?" He suggested.

Ray hummed and nodded, starting to slowly thrust inside of Mikey, groaning at how tight the man below him still was. He rested his forehead on Mikey's shoulder as he positioned his hands onto Mikey's hips, keeping the younger held in place. "You're doing so good Mikey... atta boy." He chuckled when Mikey whined, "fuck, do I need to get you a collar or something?"

Mikey made a rather embarrassing noise before he could stop himself, because he really liked that idea. As he went to cover his mouth, Ray moved one hand to hold Mikey's back against the bed.

"Fuck, maybe I do..." He smirked as he thrusted slowly, still not entirely pushed inside Mikey, "I should've known it would be more than just calling you a good boy. That you'd want more... need more, really." He chuckled, "Maybe I will get collar- I'd make you wear it everywhere. Stage, interviews, and if you were misbehaving..." he leaned his face close to Mikey's, his hand moving off of the youngers and carefully pressing around his neck, simulating the presence of a collar, "I'd pull you in real close... and you'd barely be able to breathe. And once you did behave.. I'd give you a treat." Ray grinned as Mikey moaned softly.

Mikey swallowed, his adams apple bobbing against Ray's hand. "You c-can go further. I'm r-ready now..." he told Ray shyly.

"For a collar?" Ray teased, grinning when Mikey whined, "I told you Mikey.. I can't give you what you need if you don't be specific... what are you ready for?" He asked lowly, a playful grin on his face.

Mikey whined, "y-your cock!" He whimpered, "p-please Ray- I-I need it all- I need it so badly-" he begged.

Ray nodded in satisfaction. "Good boy." And with that, Ray pushed the rest of the way in. The reaction was immediate, Mikey cried out loudly and his hands moved to Ray's back, clawing at the skin. At first, Ray worried he pushed in too fast, that it had been too much, but his worries werd tossed aside when Mikey moaned perfectly into his ear.

"Ray please- w-want you so much- l-l-lemme be your good boy- please.." he whimpered softly, letting out shaky breaths.

Ray pulled out slightly, moving his hands back onto Mikey's hips, "you'll always be my good boy..." he said, and then he was rolling his hips into Mikey, loving the way Mikey had cried out and moaned loudly, how Mikey tossed his head back and left his neck exposed, giving Ray the perfect chance to paint the pale skin with kisses and bruises of his own design. He wanted it to be clear that Mikey was spoken for, he wanted Mikey to have to cling onto Ray in order to walk, he wanted Mikey to remember this night and press his legs together to keep himself from getting an erection.

Mikey moaned into the air happily, he didn't feel the need to cover his mouth, because keeping it uncovered meant that he was a good boy for Ray, because Ray wanted to hear it all. Ray kept rolling his hips into him with the perfect amount of force, the sound of their skin slapping together echoed throughout the room. "R-Ray- f-faster- please? Please Ray?" Mikey stammered, lifting his head to look at the man above him, his eyes were clouded over, wide and adoring.

Ray cooed, "of course... such a good boy, telling me what you need..." He hummed and began to speed up his thrusts, the slapping of their hips became more frequent, though Ray was trying to angle himself properly to hit Mikey's prostate. He knew he was getting close to it, but he kept just barely brushing by the bundle of nerves, and he could tell it was driving Mikey insane.

Mikey pressed his forehead against Ray's, "s-so good to me- Ray- feels so good- y-you're right there-" He panted weakly, hands splayed out on Ray's back, one between his shoulder blades and the other closer to Ray's ass.

"Mm- lift you hips baby- lift em up for me?" He panted, pausing his thrusts despite Mikey's whines. He chuckled in amusement as he slid a pillow beneath Mikey's hips, "trust me, you'll like this..." Ray began to thrust again, rolling his hips with every thrust, picking up more speed. He shut his eyes, he needed to concentrate, shifting himself a bit.

Mikey suddenly let out a loud cry of pleasure, hands moving to Ray's hair, his legs wrapping around Ray's waist, holding him at that angle. "O-oh fuck- Ray- right there- please Ray- f-faster- harder- d-don't stop Ray- please-" Mikey gasped, his voice was shaking.

Ray smiled and nodded, gyrating his hips with every thrust as he picked up speed, letting out low moans and groans, he could feel the sweat soaking his hair, his hands moving upwards to cup Mikey's face as he continued to fuck into Mikey's prostate at a speed that felt inhuman to Mikey, he could hear the headboard of the bed slamming into the wall with every thrust Ray gave him, probably leaving dents.

Mikey let out these loud and short cries as Ray nailed his prostate consistently, his eyes locked to Ray's as little tears formed, he was so fucking close, he needed to cum, but he didn't want this to end. He wished he could stay in this moment, forever, with no responsibilities other than being Ray's perfect little good boy, but also craving so much more than just sex. "Ray- please- I'm s-so close-" Mikey warned.

"Y-Yeah? You gonna cum for me baby? Untouched?" Ray breathed against his face, a lazy smile on his lips.

Mikey nodded and sniffled, little tears pooling in his eyes, "R-Ray please- w-want more th-than just this- w-want- n-no- n-need you." The tears were threatening to fall at this point, "k-kiss me- please Ray-" the younger had barely finished his sentence before Ray's lips were on his own.

The kiss was a stark contrast to the fast and rough thrusts into Mikey, slow and loving, like a wordless promise that Ray wasn't going anywhere, like Ray was devoting himself to Mikey entirely.

And that was enough for Mikey as his eyes squeezed shut, tears rolling down his cheeks. His hands held onto Ray tighter, his legs wrapped around his hips to pull him even closer, and he moaned into Ray's mouth as he came, his cum coating his belly and smearing onto Ray's amidst the intense thrusts.

Ray hadn't been far behind in his own orgasm as Mikey's ass clenched around his cock, send his own orgasm throughout his whole body as he came deep inside of Mikey, loving the little noises Mikey made in response to being filled up. Ray continued to thrust inside Mikey, albeit slowly, winding down the pace of his thrusts in order to ride out their orgasms together.

Mikey pulled back from the kiss, though not willingly, but because he needed to breathe. When he opened his eyes, despite the blurriness from the tears, he could see Ray smiling down at him, his hand rubbing Mikey's cheeks, wiping away the tears. He leaned down and kissed his forehead, "stay here... let me get you cleaned up." He mumbled, carefully pulling his now flaccid cock out of Mikey, who only whined at the loss.

Mikey must've dozed off, because he started as a warm cloth gently wiped his belly, opening his eyes to see Ray caring for him. He blushed and swallowed as he watched the taller wipe him down, his breathing slow and shaky. Ray set the cloth on the table, he'd toss it in the bathroom later. He climbed back into the bed with Mikey, but not before clicking the light on that star globe, and for a moment, Mikey thought they were outside. He blushed as Ray's skin brushed against his own, turning his head to look at him, "what... w-what is this?" Mikey asked.

Ray looked back over at him, smiling, "whatever you want it to be... but I would be happy to call you mine. Forever."

"Even if I'm weird a-and sorta wanna wear a collar?"

"Especially that you're weird and want to wear a collar." Ray mumbled gently. "If it makes us both happy and isn't hurting anyone, then why wouldn't I want you for that?" He smiled, "I just want you to be sure this is what you want, too." Ray added.

Mikey nodded and looked back up at the ceiling, swallowing as he really tried to think. Had he just deluded himself into thinking he wanted to be with Ray? Tricked himself into it? Was he actually into Ray, or just the kink part of it? He was silent for a while, trying to think back when he first felt this... this feeling in his chest around Ray. Had it been so recent? He wasn't entirely sure.

His brain mentally flickered through the memories like a slide show, trying to pinpoint the exact moment he felt it, the moment where he got that feeling, even if he hadn't known what it was yet.

"I-It was January." Mikey spoke softly. He felt Ray shift around, and in the corner of his eye, he could see Ray move his entire body to face Mikey, devoting all his attention to him. He felt his heart ache from that simple act, but he pressed on.

"In LA. When.. when we were recording the music video for Helena." Mikey swallowed, "we had just finished up the editing of it... and I... I-I couldn't do it." Mikey blinked in an attempt to hold back his tears. "I.. I ran off because I just... I couldn't watch it... knowing everything it meant. Knowing that she... a-and we didn't spend more time with her..." Mikey's voice broke. "B-but you... you had followed me. Y-you didn't say anything, you just... you let me cry on your arm... even though I was all gross and snot covered... you... you didn't care. You just let me air o-out my emotions without... without judging me... without telling me it was my own fault for n-not visiting more..." Mikey swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I-I hadn't really known what it was at that time... because every moment after that... the memories I have with you... they... they feel lighter, like I'm being pulled to you. Though I-I only put the pieces together a little while ago because well... I-I was scared of ruining the band." Mikey swallowed again, chewing on his lip anxiously, "but even moreso... I was scared of losing you." He finally turned to look at Ray, "That.. I think that was the day that I.. I fell in love with you."

Ray smiled gently and pulled Mikey close, looking deep into his eyes, "well we have each other now, yeah?" He grinned when Mikey nodded, "we've got all the time in the world now. Every last minute of my existence.. I'm gonna spend it loving you just as much."

Mikey smiled and let himself relax, nuzzling into Ray's touch and sighing softly. Ray pulled Mikey's body to lay on top of him, Mikey's head moving to the crook of his neck and pressing a kiss to it.

Ray smiled to himself and kissed Mikey's forehead, moving to rest a hand on Mikey's ass. He groped the area lightly, which only made Mikey giggle softly.

Mikey felt kinda stupid for never asking what Ray's sexuality was, but how was he supposed to ask when he had only ever seen Ray with women? How was... he...

You know Courtney Love is forty-one, right?

"Fucker!" Mikey tried to sit up, looking at Ray, "Gerard fucking told you!"

Ray looked at Mikey, "what?"

"Courtney Love! I brought up that fucking Oscar's party to him, the one you talked about on that interview in March!"

Ray began to laugh loudly, which only proved Mikey's suspicions.

"God- I'm never telling him anything again-"

"I asked him to tell me what was going on with you, because at this point I knew you were into me." Ray grinned.

"Why didn't you just say something?" Mikey looked at Ray as the older pulled him back to laying down on him.

"I was kinda hoping you'd realize, that you'd piece it all together. I wanted to see that moment your face lit up as you connected the dots, that I wasn't just being kind, but that I had been flirting the whole time." Ray hummed, "besides, I was never into her. It was more like a trainwreck, you know? You can't bring yourself to look away, even if you hate it."

"Ray!" Mikey cackled, "that's so mean!" He smiled widely.

Ray just grinned at Mikey, kissing his head again, "feel better now?" He whispered, wrapping his arms around Mikey and looking into his eyes.

Mikey blushed slightly and nodded. He figured he'd probably have to thank Gerard as some point, but that could wait.

In the morning, Mikey woke up to Ray sucking his dick before he dragged Mikey into the showers, where he held the younger man against the tiled wall and fucked him slowly as the hot water ran down their bodies, and by the time they had been finished up and actually washed, the water had gotten cold.

When they got down to the lobby to check out, Gerard grinned widely.

Frank whistled, "fun night?" He teased.

Mikey nodded slowly and nestled himself against Ray. "Morning too."

"Ooh, hear that Gee? Your brother got some!" Frank laughed.

"Frank, I love you, but please shut up, I don't wanna hear about that."

"You mean you don't wanna hear about how he pinned me to the bed-"

"Mikey shut up-"

"Or how I woke him up this morning by sucking-"

"La la la la can't hear you-"

"Or in the shower-"

"Fuck both of you!" Gerard huffed.

"I think they already did, babe." Frank grinned.

Gerard groaned, "I need coffee." He hummed and kissed Frank softly. Their PDA didn't bother him as much anymore, though that was probably because now he got to bother Gerard with his and Ray's. Mikey looked up and at Ray, "do you want a coffee?" He asked.

Ray smiled back at him, "I'd love one. Thank you for asking.." he leaned down, "good boy."