Archive of Our Own ^beta

Stede is vaguely aware of a bright warmth washing over him, a not so unfamiliar feeling these days. He's warm and comfortable as the tendrils of consciousness slowly begin to slither their way into his brain.

He wriggles his toes under the softness of his blanket and revels at the silk lining of his sleep mask over his eyes. He sighs happily.

He sighs happily.

Happily.

Now that is an unfamiliar feeling.

This past year has seen his life change beyond all recognition, and although there have been many, many times he's regretted every single one of his life choices, he wouldn't change any of them now that they've led him here to this new feeling of contentment.

Captaining his very own pirate ship has been a steep learning curve, pretty much vertical at times, but that curve has felt a lot more manageable since Blackbeard —Ed— has been aboard. Stede has learnt so much from him, and he very much enjoys his company to boot. And Ed hasn't yet grown tired of Stede, as people generally do, sooner or later.

Stede keeps his eyes closed beneath his mask, letting the warmth of the early morning sun flooding through his window warm his skin. Is that the source of this unexpected happiness?

No, it can't be. He's been woken by the sun on his face every morning since he'd set sail on the Revenge and it'd never made him feel quite like this before.

Waking up on the Revenge certainly doesn't leave him filled with the same level of existential dread that made him question the point of being alive that he was used to back at home. But he would not describe that feeling as anything like happiness. The absence of dread does not equal happiness.

This morning, though, there's a smile on his face as he wakes, a buzzing feeling throughout his whole body, a sweet tingling in his brain. A feeling he doesn't remember experiencing since he was a boy, when he'd lose himself among the flowers in the garden when he was home from school and the bullies couldn't find him.

He rolls over to face the window and snuggles down into his soft pillow as he tries to examine the feeling and what could have precipitated it.

He thinks back to last night and the party with Ed. He had not felt happy there. As he'd been getting ready for it he'd felt nauseous at the idea of going back into "polite" society with all the social expectations and passive aggression that comes with it. That was the life he'd left behind, the life he didn't want anymore. And sure, he's brought with him some of the trappings of that life — outfits and wigs and accessories — but he'd always been a bit of a clothes horse.

In any case, the wardrobe he'd brought with him to sea wasn't anything like the drab, colourless one he'd left behind. No, he'd had a whole new wardrobe made full of teals and lavenders and peaches. And that makes him smile, certainly, and he's pleased to own it all, but he wouldn't say it makes him happy per se.

So it's not the clothes. Or the getting ready for the party.

He considers how nervously excited Ed had been while choosing his outfit from the wardrobe, almost bubbling over with questions about etiquette, and feels the smile on his face grow. He'd loved seeing Ed like that, the more vulnerable side of him that he had started to show Stede more often. Only Stede gets to see that, it seems. Even when his first mate comes into the room, Ed visibly stiffens, the smile on his face dulls, his voice deepens, and Ed is hidden away behind Blackbeard once more. Izzy doesn't get to see Edward, only Blackbeard.

Whenever Stede thinks about that, it gives him that tickly feeling in his brain.

But that isn't enough to account for this feeling of happiness now. Seeing Ed wander through his wardrobe — running his hands over the exquisite fabrics, pulling out things to try on, digging through jewellery and accessories with delight — was joyful, but that feeling had quickly dissipated when Ed had vanished into the bathroom, saying he would get Izzy to help him dress.

Stede had offered his own or even Lucius's or Frenchie's help to dress him, but Ed had refused, saying he wanted his look to be a surprise.

Stede's excitement was dulled further when he heard Izzy grumbling through the wall.

"I'm not putting fucking butterflies in your hair."

Stede winced when he heard that. Partly because he recognised the tone from his childhood (and adult) bullies, and partly because he thought Ed would look wonderful with butterflies in his hair and wished he could see it.

He did get to see it, as it turns out, and he was right: Ed did look wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that Stede was lost for words. Not something that happens very often.

He had that brain-tickly feeling then, too, and a sort of tightness in his chest. But that can't be what's making him feel happy this morning. Not when the party itself was such a disaster.

Not when he'd watched Ed become the centre of attention and the green-eyed monster had unexpectedly crept up and engulfed Stede as Ed's own attention had diverted from him. Ed had barely given him a second glance once the party guests began to hang on his every word.

Not when Stede had seen the other guests start to turn, when it was clear they saw 'Jeff' as a source of entertainment rather than a peer. Stede should have known they'd sniff out an imposter as soon as look at him. He shouldn't have allowed Ed to be put in that position.

And not when Stede had been sitting up on the deck while everyone else ate, unable to even consider the pageantry of dining while his insides churned with anxiety and regret. He was grateful for Frenchie's company but what he really wanted was Ed's. Ed's company over a fine brandy in their cabin, like most nights aboard the Revenge.

Ha. 'Their' cabin. What a thought.

And certainly not when he'd been filled with rage when he heard how the other guests had humiliated Ed. How could they do that to his Ed? He would not let them get away with.

And he didn't.

Technically, it wasn't him who burned down the ship.

Hearing the screams and splashes while they rowed back to the Revenge as the other party-goers abandoned ship, and seeing the way Ed looked at him like he was some kind of hero, had definitely given him a sense of pride, and a confused roiling in his guts that he didn't understand, but he wouldn't say it was happiness.

Overall, the events of that evening did not leave him with happy memories. In fact, he thinks he'd like to forget all about it if he could.

So where is this feeling of happiness coming from, if not last night?

And then another memory from last night flashes before his eyes. A glimpse of red silk. Moonlight. Ed's wide eyes.

"You wear fine things well."

Stede had gone back to his cabin with a pang of pain at parting from Ed, but a general feeling of well-being and glee that he didn't think he'd felt before.

He performed his ablutions absentmindedly as his thoughts were focussed solely on Ed. The shape of his hair decorated with butterflies. His eyes glistening in the moonlight, trained on him and him alone. The way he'd huffed a delicate breath when he'd touched the red silk Stede had put in his pocket. The way he'd looked at Stede when he'd stepped a little closer. The way he'd turned back before they'd parted.

The happy feeling swells in Stede's breast until he feels he might burst.

And then, yet another memory.

A faint knocking on the cabin door just as he was about to get into bed.

"Stede? You still up?"

Opening the door to see Ed, hair loose now and butterflies gone, back in his leather trousers and a simple purple t-shirt.

The hesitant look on his face.

"Ed! Is everything alright?"

The agile fingers that nervously combed through Ed's beard.

"Just… um. Wondered if it might be alright if I…"

The end of the sentence spoken too quietly for Stede to parse.

"If you could…?"

The bashful way Ed's gaze dropped to the floor.

"Sleep on your couch. I mean no biggie if not, I can just find a place up on deck or whatever, I'm…"

Stede's own hand darting out to grab Ed's wrist as he started to turn from the cabin door.

"No! No. Of course you can. In fact I'd really like it if you did."

The dampness in Ed's eyes illuminated by the flickering candlelight in the corridor.

"You sure?"

"Yes. Please. Come in."

Ed stepping cautiously into the room he'd been in countless times before. Stede offering him one of his nightgowns, Ed blustering a refusal and Stede insisting he wanted Ed to be comfortable. Stede turning away to give Ed privacy while he changed. The neat pile of Ed's folded clothes on the library chair, and Ed looking down at himself in the white gown when Stede turned back.

"This feels fucking great, mate. Thanks."

"No problem at all, Ed. You're welcome to share any of my things."

The shy smile that Stede knew was on Ed's lips despite the dimness of the room and his beard doing their best to hide it.

"I'll get you a blanket."

"Don't have to, mate. I'll be fine like this."

The way Ed had laid back, head on the pillow Stede had brought him from his own bed, as Stede draped the blanket over him, adjusting it so it covered his toes and tucking it around Ed to keep him warm.

The way Ed had gazed up at him as Stede made him comfortable.

"Thanks, mate."

The smile he couldn't help plastered over his face. The tickle in his brain and the clench of his heart and the feeling of bone-deep happiness as he looked down at Ed, wonderful Ed, tucked up cosily on his couch, ready to sleep in the same room as him.

Ohhh.

There it is. Happiness. So maybe, what makes Stede happy is Ed.

Ed, who had slept on Stede's couch in the cabin with him. Ed, who was probably still there now!

Stede turns over and pulls his eye mask off as quietly as he can, so as not to wake Ed if he's still sleeping, and looks excitedly over at the couch. There's no movement so Ed's obviously not awake yet. Or, wait. Hang on. The blanket is there where Stede had tucked it over Ed, but there's no one under it.

Stede glances over at the library chair to see Ed's pile of clothes still as they were last night. Perhaps Ed's nipped to the bathroom. He'll be back any minute.

Stede holds his breath so he can listen for any sound of Ed returning to the cabin. And then he realises that the door to the auxiliary wardrobe that leads to the secret door to the bathroom is firmly closed. It can be opened from the other side, of course, but it seems odd that Ed would have closed it behind him.

Stede listens for what feels like years and doesn't hear a sound coming from the bathroom or the wardrobe. He hadn't realised just how noisy the ship itself was until then, the constant creaking and groaning of the wood, the sound of the water as the ship's hull cuts through it, the squawking of the seabirds searching for breakfast on the wing. But there's nothing that could be made by Ed.

For a moment, Stede wonders if Ed's okay. Ed has taken himself off into the bathroom more than once when he has seemed unsettled by something, spending a long time on his own, and then emerging when he's back to his old self.

What if that's what he's doing now?What if he's upset and hiding out all alone in the bathroom? The thought is like an icicle through the heart.

Stede throws back the blanket and leaps out of bed before calming himself. He doesn't want to go barging into the bathroom if Ed is simply… Well, doing what one does in the bathroom.

So he opens the auxiliary wardrobe quietly. He tip toes to the bathroom door and presses his ear against it. Still nothing. He takes a breath and then knocks gently.

"Ed?"

There's no response and no sound of any movement.

"Ed? Are you in there?"

Still nothing. He slowly turns the handle and pushes the door open and peers into what is a completely empty room. Everything where it should be, no sign of Ed.

Hmm.

Stede strides back into the cabin and stares down at the blanket on the couch. It's just as it had been when he'd tucked Ed in, except Ed isn't under it. Ed must have laid it back down when he got out of it. Stede turns again to the pile of Ed's clothes on the chair. Where would Ed have gone wearing just the night shirt? Does he sleep walk?

He absentmindedly reaches down to grab the blanket and run his fingers over the soft fabric soothingly, and that's when he notices a different fabric poking out from under the blanket. He pulls it back to reveal the night shirt he had lent Ed laid out along the couch, as if it itself was the one tucked up cosily for the night.

He frowns, trying to understand why Ed would have left the couch like this. He's usually very neat with his belongings, more so with things he's borrowed from Stede. If he'd finished with the blanket and night shirt, he would have folded them carefully and put them away. He might have left them in a pile on the couch if he didn't want to wake Stede. But Stede can't imagine what would have possessed him to lay them out like this.

It then occurs to Stede once again that Ed's clothes are still piled on the library chair. He turns to stare at them.

So if his clothes are still there, and so is the night shirt… Does that mean…?

None of this makes sense. Stede takes himself back over to his bed and plonks down on the edge. Where would Ed go this early in the morning, with no clothes on? Something isn't right, and Stede needs to find him and help. He puts on his battle jacket and leaves his cabin.

"Lucius!" Stede hisses as he jabs his cabin boy in the shoulder to rouse him from sleep. The boy is tucked against Pete, nestled between a couple of barrels on the deck. "Lucius!"

"We weren't doing anything!" Lucius blurts through his sleep haze as he jolts awake.

"Lucius, have you seen Blackbeard?"

"Wh…? Blackbeard?" He sits himself up and rolls his shoulders, wincing at the series of pops it creates. He looks up at Stede looming over him. "What time is it?"

"Never mind that, where's Ed?"

"How should I know? I was, until a few seconds ago when I was rudely awakened, peacefully asleep." He looks accusingly at Stede.

"Yes, well. I'm sorry, Lucius. But I need to find Ed. He's gone missing."

"Missing? How can he go missing on a ship? There's not that many places he can be."

"I know that, Lucius!" Stede sighs. "Can you help?"

"Fine," Lucius huffs. He clambers to his feet and rubs the sleep from his eyes with his fists. He glances down at Pete, then grabs Stede's wrist and pulls him away and to the gunwale. "Where did you last see him?"

Stede feels his cheeks start to burn. "Well, last night, before I went to sleep."

"I said where, not when."

"Well, he was… He was…" Stede's not sure why it's so hard to tell Lucius that Ed was in his cabin, but for some reason, he can't quite get the words out.

"Where, Stede?"

"He was in my cabin."

Lucius's eyebrows raise. "In your cabin? When you went to sleep?"

"Yes."

Lucius gives a sort of smug look and opens his mouth to speak, but Stede cuts him off, starting to feel a little panicky now.

"Can you just help me look for him? Please?"

"Alright. Where have you looked?"

"Well, in my cabin of course, and the auxiliary wardrobe, and the bathroom, and the corridor up to the deck. And I can see he's not here or up in the main mast."

"That doesn't narrow it down much. He could be literally anywhere."

Stede grabs Lucius's sleeve and pulls him closer, then speaks into his ear. "Not anywhere. Ed is… Ed's… Well, when he left the cabin he was… He was…"

"He was what, Stede?"

"Naked!" Stede says in a loud whisper.

"Naked!?" Lucius yelps.

"Shhhh!"

"Sorry! I just wasn't expecting you to say that. He's naked? What the hell?"

Stede huffs. "I don't know, Lucius. I don't know what happened. All I know is that he went to sleep on my couch in my night shirt, and when I woke up he was gone and his clothes and the night shirt are still there, and I can't find him."

"Okay, yeah, that does sound a bit weird."

"Exactly. So could you please help me look for him? Discreetly." Stede feels himself wince at the idea of Lucius ever being discreet, but he's all he has.

"Course. Discretion is my middle name!" Lucius declares. "He can't have gone far. Come on, let's go find him."

Hours later, Stede sits down on his bed, a tight ball of worry and anxiety knotting his stomach. He and Lucius had scoured the ship, and there'd been no sign of Ed anywhere. They'd even checked all of the secret passages, some of which Stede hadn't yet revealed to Lucius, and he'd seen the calculating look in his eye and dreaded to think what the boy was contemplating.

As he became more and more despondent about where Ed could be, he'd had the sudden thought that something terrible might have happened, and maybe Ed had gone overboard and been swept away. With tears in his eyes and panic gripping him, Stede had run to Buttons, who'd been on watch, and demanded to know if he'd seen Ed.

Buttons calmly insisted that Blackbeard had not been up on deck at all that night, and that if the sea had taken anyone, she'd have told him. He'd insisted that Blackbeard was still aboard.

Stede was a little baffled at Buttons's response, but he was somewhat reassured that Ed had not, in fact, met a watery end overnight. Still, he couldn't get the thought of Ed freezing cold and naked in the ocean out of his head, struggling to stay above the water. Stede desperately wished he could find him and make sure he was safe and warm.

There's a knock at the door, followed by Roach calling, "Captain? I've brought breakfast. Lucius said you could do with a good one today."

"Come in, Roach," Stede calls back.

The door opens and Roach carries in a large silver tray which he places onto the table. He begins to arrange the bread and marmalade and cold meats and eggs and fruit, a teapot and milk jug and sugar bowl, along with the crockery and cutlery.

Roach looks down at the spread proudly. "A hearty breakfast for you and Captain Blackbeard," he says, then gives a nod to Stede and takes his leave.

Stede sits down at the table, the way he's been conditioned to when a meal is served, not because he's in any fit state to eat anything. It doesn't feel right sitting at the table when he doesn't know where Ed is. He could be lost or hurt, or sad. He shouldn't be alone if that's the case. Stede should be with him. He should be looking after him, taking care of him.

Trying not to cry, he sighs and looks across at the empty seat where Ed usually sits, and out of the corner of his eye he sees a movement. Something moved on the floorboards down by the bottom of his bookshelf. He sighs, wondering if that mouse is back, the one they must have picked up on their supply run a few weeks ago. The one the crew insisted was definitely gone after it had incurred Stede's wrath when it nibbled the toe of one of his favourite shoes.

It is evidently not gone, and now it seems to be after his beloved books. He tips the fruit onto a plate and takes the now empty bowl over to the bookshelf, determined to catch the little bugger before it can start gnawing at his pages.

There's a scuffling noise down on the bottom shelf. Stede kneels down, bowl in one hand, and reaches out with the other to pull a large tome off the shelf. He moves slowly so as not to startle the mouse before he's ready to bring the bowl down and capture it, when he hears what he can only describe as a whimper.

He freezes. He's definitely not an expert on mice, but he's fairly sure they don't make noises like that. It sounded almost… human.

Stede is willing to put it down to the stress of the morning, and his worry about Ed, and is about to start moving the book again, when he hears a sniffle. It's a definite sniffle, like someone crying. Now that's just weird.

He places the bowl down carefully, and lowers himself down to get a better look at the mouse, or whatever is down there making the sniffling noise. It's hard to see much, the light from the window having moved around the room leaving this part in shadow, but there's definitely something huddled into the corner of the bottom shelf.

He gets down lower, laying on his stomach so he's at eye level with the mouse, and then he hears a small voice say, "Don't fucking look at me."

Stede's brain stalls as he tries to make sense of this, because unless he's going insane, that was a human voice speaking words in English coming from where the mouse is hiding. And more than that, it was Ed's voice.

"Ed?" Stede whispered, not knowing what else to say or do.

"I said don't look at me." The little voice is nasal and wet, like he's been crying.

On top of the confusion whirling around in Stede's mind, he feels an instant sense of injustice that Ed is upset, anger at whoever or whatever has made him cry. But that feeling is quickly superseded by the need to comfort him, to make him feel better, to make him warm and safe.

Stede pulls a couple of books out of the way so he can see into the shelf better and is stunned to see a tiny, naked Ed, sitting huddled in the corner, knees pulled up and his face buried in them.

"Ed? Is that really you?" Stede says.

Ed sniffs. "Yeah. It's really fucking me."

"But what… how… Why… What happened?"

"I don't fucking know, mate." His voice sounds a little different, maybe a little higher pitched, but also somehow smaller. Which is unsurprising, given that by Stede's estimate, Ed is about six inches tall. "Just woke up like this."

Stede shakes his head, trying to make reality return to normal. Nothing changes. He's still laying on his belly looking a minuscule version of his friend tucked into his bookshelf.

"You must be freezing," Stede hears himself say.

"Yeah," Ed agrees. "Pretty cold."

"I'll get you a blanket."

Stede starts to push himself up but stops when Ed says, "Don't need your fucking help, mate. I'm fine."

"Edward. You are not fine. You're naked, freezing cold, and crying. Not to mention that somehow, you're only inches tall!"

"Rub it in, why don't you," Ed huffs. He wipes his nose on his arm and hugs his knees tighter to him.

"I'm not… I'm just trying to…"

"I don't need you to help. I'm fucking Blackbeard. I can do anything."

Stede settles back down again and thinks about reaching out to Ed, but he's obviously scared and confused, and more than a little defensive right now. "I know you can, Edward. I know you don't need me." At this, Ed's little head pops up and he glances through his curtain of hair at Stede. He looks like he's about to say something, but seems to change his mind and puts his head back down.

Stede's heart aches at the glimpse of Ed's tiny puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. He just wants to grab him and hold him close to him.

"At least let me get you a blanket. Something to warm you up," Stede says.

Ed grunts but doesn't offer any further objections.

Stede gets to his feet and goes into his auxiliary wardrobe to find his best fabric shears, then takes them to his bed, pulls his favourite blanket off and carefully cuts a small square from the corner. He lays back down on the floor by the shelves and holds the little blanket out to Ed.

"Here we are," Stede says. "This should warm you up."

Ed lifts his head again and looks at the blanket, then at Stede. "Mate. That was your favourite blanket."

Stede nods. "Yes. The cosiest one." He moves the piece of blanket closer to Ed but he doesn't take it. "Come on. It'll make you nice and warm."

Ed looks at the blanket again, then back to Stede. His chin wobbles and his eyes fill with tears as he takes the blanket and pulls it over himself.

Stede watches him, and then gently reaches out to pull the edge down over his toes, and tuck it behind him so that his body is totally covered by the blanket. "There. That's better, isn't it?"

Ed gives him a nod, pressing his lips together, clearly trying not to cry.

"It's alright, Ed." Stede lays his hands flat on the floor and rests his chin on them. "We'll figure this out."

Right at that moment, the door to the cabin flies open and Lucius barrels in. Ed flinches and pulls the blanket up over him.

"Stede, I've done another sweep of the… Stede?" Lucius stops and looks around, then spots Stede lying on the floor. "Oh Stede," he says sympathetically, and he comes over to him. "I'd get down there with you, but you know I have this whole thing with my lower back."

"It's alright, Lucius, I can…"

"No, don't move. I know you're worried." He pulls one of the armchairs closer to Stede and sits down. "He'll turn up, Stede. He can't have gone far, especially if he's in the nip."

"Yes. I'm sure he'll turn up."

"It's alright to be worried, you know. I know you… care about him."

Stede feels that clenching of his heart and the prick of tears in his eyes. "I do. I do care about him. A lot. I don't know what I'd do without him anymore." Stede does not look in Ed's direction. "I just… I want him to be safe. And warm. He hates being cold."

Lucius nods. "So I spoke to Buttons, and he reckons Blackbeard's fine. Just maybe needs a bit of time to himself. Now, I don't know how much faith you want to put in what he says, but…"

"I think he's right. I think Ed will show himself when he's ready."

"So do you want me to keep looking, or…?"

Stede sighs. "No. I think you can stop."

"And what about you? Are you gonna get up off the floor?"

"Think I might stay down here for a bit, actually. It's not so bad once you get used to it."

"Want company?"

"I think I'd rather be on my own for the rest of the day, Lucius. Would you let the crew know not to disturb me please?"

"Unless Blackbeard shows up, you mean?"

"Oh yes, of course. If he turns up, then come and get me straight away."

Lucius looks down at Stede with a look Stede can't read, and then he gets up and heads for the door. "Call me if you need anything, alright?"

Stede nods and watches Lucius leave. Then he looks back to Ed. "He's gone. You can come out now."

Ed slowly lowers the blanket from his head and stares at Stede. "Lucius has been looking for me?"

Stede nods. "Yes. I was so worried about you, Ed."

"You were worried?"

"Yes, of course I was."

Ed rests his chin on his knees.

Stede looks at his little friend. "Are you feeling any warmer?" he asks and Ed nods. "Good. Are you hungry?" Ed flicks his eyes to Stede and then back to his feet. "Let's get some food in you and then we can have a think about what we're going to do about this."

Ed glares at him. "How are you dealing with this so well?"

Stede sighs. "Ed. I've been frantic with worry. I thought you might have gone overboard. I am so relieved to find you safe. I know the situation isn't… ideal, but you're alive, and I can take care of you until we find a way to…"

"Don't need you to take care of me," Ed huffs. "I'm Blackbeard. Blackbeard doesn't need looking after. Blackbeard doesn't rely on other people. Blackbeard trusts no one."

"Well, Blackbeard isn't usually six inches tall. And anyway, you're not just Blackbeard. You're Ed."

"Still Blackbeard, mate."

"It's okay if you don't trust me, but please let me…"

"No, it's not… I never said… I didn't mean…"

"Let me help you. I'd like to help you."

Ed stares at him, his grouchy little face pinched and frowning. "Okay," he mumbles.

Stede reaches his hand out towards the bookshelf. "Climb on and I'll carry you to the table."

"Climb on?" Ed says, looking horrified. "I'm not being carried anywhere!"

"Ed, you can't exactly get onto the table by yourself, can you? I'll carry you up there, and then you can have some breakfast."

Ed looks at Stede's hand, then turns to look up at the table, then back to Stede's hand. "Fine," he says. He pulls the blanket tightly around himself and gets to his feet, patters over to Stede's hand and considers for a moment. Then he lowers himself onto his knees and crawls onto Stede's palm.

"Be careful of your knee," Stede says.

"Don't need you to look after me," Ed grumbles.

Once Ed is safely seated in Stede's hand, Stede gets carefully to his own feet, and cups his hands together, making sure Ed is as safe as he can be, and carries him over to the table. He gently places him down in front of his usual chair, then begins to break off crumbs of bread and meat and eggs and places them onto a plate. Then he takes a teaspoon and scoops out some marmalade and adds it to the plate.

"I'm afraid you'll have to eat with your hands," Stede says. "I don't have any cutlery the right size for you. Now you tuck in and I'll be back in a moment."

Stede watches as Ed sits himself down on the plate and tucks the blanket over his lap leaving his arms free. He picks up a crumb of bread and dips it into the marmalade on the spoon and tucks in.

Stede's reluctant to leave Ed alone on the table where he might fall, or get stuck in some way. Being so tiny, he's fragile, and Stede can't bear the thought of him getting hurt, or being scared or upset. But he wants to help Ed so he needs to fetch his sewing kit.

He dashes into the auxiliary wardrobe and finds his sewing box and grabs a handful of handkerchiefs from a drawer, then returns to the table.

Ed is eating heartily, too focussed on his food to do much more than acknowledge Stede's return.

"Oh!" Stede says, as an idea strikes him. He digs around in his sewing box and pulls out a silver thimble. He uses one of the handkerchiefs to give it a wipe, then carefully pours a dribble of tea into it. He adds a drop of milk, then spoons in what he estimates to be equivalent to the copious amount Ed takes in regular sized cups of tea. He turns the spoon around and uses the handle to stir it and the sets it down next to Ed.

The food seems to have settled Ed a bit, and he gives Stede a little smile when he sees the thimble of tea. Stede returns the smile and his heart clenches at the thought that he really is taking care of Ed. Not just making sure he eats, but helping him to feel better. He sighs happily, then remembers why he brought the sewing kit out.

"Ed, I'm going to make you a shirt out of one of my hankies. My wardrobe is extensive, but I'm afraid I don't have…"

Another idea strikes Stede. He turns to look at the miniature mannequin on his shelf, wearing a little coat. He strides over to it and then looks back to Ed, who is watching him.

"Ed, it's perfect!"

"It's too fucking big, Stede. It's drowning me. And it's really stiff. I can barely move. Plus I look like a dick."

Stede sighs as he looks at the tiny pirate standing on his dining table, wearing the fancy little outfit from the mannequin on the bookshelf. Ed's right. It is too big for him, and he does look a bit silly in it.

Stede thinks for a moment. "Perhaps one of the crew could help. Wee John is excellent with…"

"No! I don't want them to see me like this. How am I meant to maintain an air of threatening authority if I'm the size of a fucking mouse?"

"You're bigger than a mouse, Edward."

"That's not the fucking point."

"Alright. Well, how about we find a tailor? I'm sure it could be…"

"Stede! No! Can we just forget the outfit? Please?" Ed scrabbles at the fastenings and pulls the little coat off himself and flings it to the floor. He quickly wraps the blanket around his shoulders to cover himself up.

"I just thought it might be better than making you something from a hanky," Stede says quietly.

Ed sighs. "Look, it was a good idea. Really thoughtful. It's not your fault the thing didn't fit."

"Back to 'Plan A' then, a hanky."

"You don't have to, mate. I'm alright with this."

Stede sits himself at the table, selects a handkerchief from the pile, and readies his needle and thread. "I suppose we ought to come up with some sort of plan about how we're going to get you back to your usual size."

"I'm fucking exhausted. Might need a rest before I can do much planning."

Ed yawns and then wanders across the table to the empty teacup that's set in his usual place. He climbs inside, tucking the blanket around him in a sort of tiny nest. Stede can't help watching him settle in, feels his heart clench again at how adorable Ed is like this and the all-consuming urge to protect him and keep him safe and warm.

Stede loves spending time in Ed's company, and recently, he's been noticing the tickle in his brain and the clench of his heart is accompanied by a fluttery feeling in his belly when Ed turns his full attention on him. Which happens more and more. He feels it when Ed comes to the cabin of an evening. When Ed comes over to just stand with him at the gunwale. When Ed smiles as Stede presents him with another perfectly made cup of tea. He just loves being around Ed, no matter what size he is.

"What happened, Ed?" Stede asks as he begins to make careful stitches along the handkerchief.

"Fuck if I know. Just woke up like this. Heard you moving around in the cabin, and then realised I felt different. Freaked out a bit and just hid inside that nightshirt until you went out the room."

"What do you think caused it?"

"Dunno. Some sort of curse, or something, maybe?"

"Oh, Edward. I thought you were a man of science!"

"I was when I was six foot tall. Waking up six inches tall changes your outlook a bit."

Stede considers him, nestled into the teacup. "You really think it could be a curse?"

"What the fuck else could it be?"

Stede shrugs. "You've never seen anything like this before?"

"Nope. This is a new one on me, mate."

Stede focuses on his work and lets silence descend on the room. Silences with Ed are never awkward, which is still surprising to Stede.

He pulls the needle and thread through the fabric again and again, losing himself a little in the repetitive movement, thinking about Ed, and how this situation could have come about. Could it really be a curse? Every logical bone in Stede's body is screaming at him that of course it's not, but then what else could it be?

His thoughts are interrupted by a faint sort of grinding noise coming from the table. He lowers his sewing and looks over at the teacup to see that Ed has fallen asleep and is snoring gently.

Stede's heart clenches again as he's overcome by a wave of affection for his friend. He's felt a similar feeling before when he's seen Ed asleep, but now he's so small and vulnerable, the feeling seems to have grown inversely with Ed's size.

For a moment, he thinks he might cry with it.

He reaches out and very carefully lifts the cup, making sure not to jostle Ed, and brings it closer to him, where he can keep a better eye on Ed and make sure he's okay.

Stede had been beyond relieved when he found Ed alive and well, but despite that, the panic he'd felt when he'd thought something terrible might have happened to him still lingers. It's a knot in his stomach that hasn't fully released yet.

Having Ed right there in front of him helps to loosen it some more.

As Ed naps, Stede keeps working, stitching the folded handkerchief along the edge to make a tube, then cutting holes for Ed's head and arms. When he finishes it, he's pretty pleased with his creation. It's not exactly haute couture, but it will cover Ed so he doesn't have to stay under his blanket.

"Ugh, fuck," comes Ed's little voice from the teacup. "My back!" He moves delicately, stretching his arms above his head as he wakes up. "I dreamt I was in a fucking…" He trails off as he opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings. "Fuck. Not a dream."

"Not a dream, I'm afraid," Stede says. "Are you okay?"

"Everything hurts. Don't let me sleep in a fucking cup again, alright?"

Stede giggles. "You looked very cosy. Would you like me to help you out?"

"I can do it myself. I don't need help."

With a series of grunts and groans, Ed climbs ungracefully out of the cup, still keeping the blanket wrapped around him. He rolls his shoulders and his neck, grimacing as he does so.

"I made this for you," Stede says, holding up the little garment he'd made from the handkerchief.

Ed looks up at him, smiling shyly. "Thanks, mate. You didn't have to."

Stede smiles. "Can't have you clothes-less, can we? Why don't you pop it on, and then we can go up on deck and see if we can find any clues as to what's going on."

Ed glares at him. "I'm not going up on deck like this, mate."

"It's okay, Ed. I'll put you in my pocket."

"I'm not going in your fucking pocket! I'm not a fucking doll!"

Stede sighs. "I know you're not. I'm just trying to help. I want to solve this."

Ed folds his arms and pouts, then huffs and holds a hand out towards Stede. "Fine. I'll put it on."

Stede tries not to smile too widely, but he's feeling pleased with himself for making something that will be useful to Ed. He hands the shirt to Ed, and before Stede can turn away, Ed drops the blanket that was covering him up and begins to pull the handkerchief shirt over his head.

Stede quickly turns, feeling his cheeks burn at the thought of seeing Ed bare. He chides himself for thinking about Ed getting dressed when he should be giving his friend privacy and preserving his dignity, what little of it he has left now he's so tiny.

"Done," Ed says, and Stede turns back to see Ed wearing the shirt, which falls to just below his knees. It's rare to see Ed in any colour other than black, least of all white, and Stede finds that he wishes it would happen more.

The long shirt makes him look soft and delicate and Stede wants to scoop him up and bring him right up close to his mouth and maybe…

He shakes his head. What a strange thought!

"Feels nice," Ed murmurs, as he swishes the long shirt to and fro. "Got a nice flow."

Stede beams. "Oh yes, you look wonderful!"

Ed stares up at him, an unreadable expression on his face. "Shall we go and see what we can find out, then?" he asks quietly.

"Of course! I thought you would fit perfectly in this pocket here," Stede says, pulling back his robe to reveal an inside pocket that sits over his heart.

"You're not gonna drop me?"

"Of course I won't. I promise I'll take good care of you, Edward. Trust me."

Ed smiles nervously up at Stede, then when Stede stretches out a hand, he climbs on. Stede's heart clenches again at the thought that Ed trusts Stede to keep him safe.

Resisting the urge to bring his little friend up to his face, Stede slides him carefully into his pocket. Ed can just see over the top of the fabric and he looks up at Stede with wide eyes that still seem huge and overpowering even now they're the size of pinheads.

"If you need anything, just give me a kick or something, alright?"

Ed nods and then settles himself into Stede's pocket. Stede closes his robe and rests his hand gently over where Ed is sitting, then heads out of the cabin towards the deck.

As he walks through the corridor he wonders whether it really is Ed's size that's making Stede feel so protective of Ed. Surely it must be. He wouldn't feel the urge to hold him close and keep him safe and warm if he was his usual size, right?

He thinks back to last night, when he'd given Ed the nightshirt and then tucked him under a blanket on his couch to make sure he was comfortable and warm.

Huh. Maybe he has felt that urge before. Maybe he does.

It's a blustery day, and the wind whips Stede's curls out of position as he steps out on deck. The sun is high, the sky is blue, and the sea is choppy. The deck rolls under his feet.

Stede thinks about how, if Ed wasn't in his pocket, he could easily be blown away. He presses his hand a little more over his pocket and feels Ed wriggle and his heart clenches again.

The deck is practically deserted and Stede assumes the crew is probably taking naps or doing other restful activities to escape the Caribbean heat. There were mixed reactions when Stede had introduced early afternoon down time, but they seem to have come round to the idea.

Buttons is up on the quarterdeck, hands clasped behind his back, looking out to sea. If anyone would know about strange possible-curses, it's him. Stede marches over to him.

"Mr Buttons," he says as he takes up position next to him, hand still over Ed.

"Cap'n," Buttons replies.

"I wondered if you might be able to help me."

Buttons side eyes Stede, then continues looking out to sea.

"I'm sure you've heard, but, um, something's happened to Ed."

Buttons gives an almost imperceptible nod of his head, not taking his gaze away from the horizon.

Stede waits for him to respond further, but he doesn't. "And, well, you seem like the sort of fellow who might know about… um… well, unusual goings on shall we say…"

Buttons's nostrils flare.

"And so I thought that you might possibly have some idea about what's going on."

Buttons turns slowly to face Stede. "Are ye trying to ask a question, Cap'n?"

Stede is a little taken aback. "Well yes. I thought I had."

"Nae. T'was a statement. If ye want a straight answer, ye must ask a straight question."

"Right. Well then. My question is, do you know what's happened to Ed?"

Buttons looks back out to sea. After a moment he says, "Mebbe. Mebbe no."

Stede huffs. "You just said if I…"

"To love the sea as she must be loved requires change," Buttons interrupts.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Oh shit. Fuck fuck fuck," comes a panicked voice approaching rapidly across the deck. Stede turns to see Lucius half running towards him. He grabs Stede by the elbow and pulls him away from Buttons. Stede's hand instinctively clutches onto Ed a little tighter as he's dragged along behind Lucius as the boy continues to babble.

"You weren't supposed to find out! You have to understand, I never expected anything to actually happen to Blackbeard."

"Lucius, what are you…"

"I thought he'd just get the pair of you to pull your heads out of your arses somehow, not make Blackbeard disappear."

"Lucius, can you…"

"And I've searched literally everywhere I can think of, including that hidden closet off the ball room that me and Pete discovered last week. But he's gone, poof, disappeared off the face of the Earth and it's all my fault!"

"Lucius!" Stede yells, wrenching his arm from Lucius's grip and smoothing his robe down. He huffs an irritated breath and runs his fingers through his windswept curls. "Calm down, boy. You're making no sense."

Lucius looks at him imploringly. "Blackbeard's gone and you're devastated, you were just laying on the floor of your cabin and it's all my fault."

Stede speaks quietly. "Lucius. Ed's not gone. He's okay."

"What?"

"He's okay."

"Well where is he? Where's he been hiding?"

Stede feels Ed wriggle a little under his hand and does his best to stifle a smile. "Ed's safe. Just trust me."

"Seriously? He's okay?"

"He's…" Stede feels Ed move more forcefully now, perhaps a little kick or two into his palm. He strokes his hand gently over the pocket to try to reassure him. "Well, he's safe. Now will you please tell me what the hell you're talking about."

Lucius looks warily at Stede. "Didn't Buttons tell you?"

"He said something about the sea changing..."

Lucius frowns. "Weird. He didn't say anything else?"

"No. What's going on?"

Lucius is quiet for a moment but Stede can see the cogs turning in his mind. And then he announces brightly, "Nothing!" and turns on his heel to scurry away but Stede puts on his best Captain's Voice.

"Lucius!"

Lucius freezes.

"Come back here and tell me what you know."

Lucius turns slowly to face his captain, grimacing. He takes a few cautious steps back towards Stede.

"Tell me," Stede says.

"Well," Lucius says, not looking at Stede. "I might have asked Buttons if he could help."

Stede puts his hand on his hip and glares at Lucius. "Help with what?"

"Look. In my defence, it wasn't just me. We were all getting sick of it. If we didn't do something, the two of you would have just danced around it forever and it probably would have ended in disaster. I just wanted to poke you along a bit, help you realise for yourselves. I just asked Buttons to help, I didn't expect him to do whatever he's done!"

"Wait, so Buttons did this?" Stede feels Ed move around in his pocket.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Stay there," Stede demands and stomps off back to the quarterdeck to find Buttons. "Buttons!"

Buttons is at the helm now, and he raises his eyebrows slightly as Stede comes towards him.

"Buttons! What did you do to Ed?"

"Told ye, Cap'n," he says, moving the wheel slightly clockwise. "To love the sea as she must be loved requires change."

"You have to fix it!"

"True love must run its course."

"True love? What does that have to do with anything?"

From behind him, Stede hears Lucius approaching. "For fuck's sake," Lucius mutters. "Look, Buttons, this isn't what I meant. Can you just undo whatever you did? It's clearly not working. He still hasn't got a clue."

"Who hasn't got a clue?" Stede says. "About what?"

Buttons glances at Lucius and turns the wheel a little more. "Tis nae for me to interfere now. Only when two souls recognise their other halves and entwine can the hex be broken."

At this, Stede feels Ed move suddenly, understandable if he's hearing that the reason for him being six inches tall is in fact a curse. Stede strokes his thumb over his pocket and Ed seems to settle.

"Buttons," Lucius says. "I said I needed you to get them together, not hex them!"

"Okay, that's enough," Stede interrupts. "What are you talking about? True love and souls entwining? What's that got to do with anything?"

"Oh my god, Stede! What's it gonna take for you to realise?" Lucius says.

"Realise what?"

"That you like Blackbeard. And he likes you."

"Well, of course I like him. He's my friend. We're…"

"Jesus Christ. Not that sort of like. Like as in… Love."

"What?" Stede stares at Lucius, feeling beyond confused.

"Come on, Stede. He looks at you like you hung the moon, and you can't keep your eyes off him. No one else exists when you two are together. And you spend hours together in your cabin. He slept in your cabin, for gods' sake. You're so oblivious. You both obviously have feelings for each other, and we're all fed up of wondering when you're going to realise."

Lucius's voice gets more and more fuzzy as Stede feels the blood drain from his cheeks. He keeps his hand carefully over Ed in his pocket and says, "Excuse me, I have to…" and then turns and runs back to his cabin on autopilot.

He bursts through the door and heads for the bed where he carefully takes his robe off and lays it on the bed. Ed clambers out of the pocket and Stede looks down at his sweet little friend, nausea churning in his stomach.

"Stede, I…" Ed starts.

"I'm sorry," Stede mutters. "I can't…"

The urge to run is all consuming. That's what Stede does when he feels cornered. When he doesn't know what else to do, he runs. He had run away from the other children at school. He'd run away on the eve of his marriage to Mary, only to be found and dragged back to the house by his father. He'd run away from his family when it had all become too much.

Flight is just his instinct.

He's reached the cabin door with no sense of where he's going when a shout from Ed reaches him.

"Wait! Stede!"

Stede stops, hand on the door handle, trying not to think about the quivery panic in Ed's voice.

"Please," Ed says, quieter now. "Don't leave me here like this."

Stede breathes deeply and turns to face the room. He can just make out Ed standing on Stede's robe over on the bed, just a tiny little thing, vulnerable and fragile.

Stede takes his hand off the door handle.

"Please don't go, Stede. I… I need you to… to… I need you."

Stede stands in his cabin, balling his hands into fists, staring over at Ed. Stede is desperate to turn and run, to get as far away as he possibly can from the confusion that's whirling inside himself. But he's looking at Ed, and he can't leave him, not when he can't do anything for himself and he could easily fall and get hurt.

And actually, maybe just because he's Ed.

Stede takes a slow step towards the bed nook, and then another and another until he's standing by the bed. He crouches down so he's eye level with Ed, and he sees there are tiny tears on his face.

"I need you, Stede," Ed says, and then he lowers himself down and sits on the coat. "Don't leave me. I need you."

Stede watches Ed dry his eyes with the edge of his shirt and wishes he wasn't so small so that he could dry them for him.

"I need you too, Ed," Stede chokes out, only realising as it comes out of his mouth how true it is. Only now realising that what he'd thought was his first ever real friendship is actually something else. It's something he never thought he'd get to have, and maybe even something he never believed was real.

Ed sniffles and looks at Stede. He's blurry through the tears gathering in Stede's own eyes. Stede swipes them away with his cuff. The urge to flee is subsiding.

Stede rises and sits on the bed, scoots up to lean against the wall and pulls his knees in to his chest. Ed waits until he's settled and then walks over to him. "Put me up there, will you, mate?" he says, pointing to Stede's knees. Stede pulls out a small cushion from behind himself and places it on his knees, then holds out a palm to Ed who climbs on. Stede lifts him up and he steps onto the cushion and spends a moment getting his balance before sitting and making himself comfy, Stede cupping a hand behind him so he can't fall off.

"Thanks," Ed says, giving Stede a watery smile.

"What for?"

"For looking after me. Now I'm so small."

"I'll always look after you, Ed. Even when you're normal size again."

Ed smiles bashfully and looks at his hands. "If I'm ever normal size again."

"You will be. And I'll look after you then. If you'll let me."

"Yeah, mate. Think I'd like that, actually."

Stede feels a swell of pride in his chest at the way Ed is trusting him now. Stede brings his hand closer to Ed's back, and Ed leans into it. Stede can't help himself and brushes his thumb gently over Ed's shoulder and arm, and then over his hair. It feels silky smooth. Ed turns his face so that Stede strokes his cheek as well as his hair, and he closes his eyes and smiles.

The idea of running from Ed seems absurd now. Stede never wants to be away from him, and the new knowledge that he has about what Ed is to him seems so obvious now that he doesn't understand how he didn't see it before.

Stede watches Ed get more and more relaxed as he strokes his hair and cheek and thinks that if he were a cat, he'd probably be purring right about now. He wonders whether Ed will still let him do this when he's back to normal.

"Lucius is right, you know," Ed murmurs, eyes still closed and nuzzling into Stede's thumb. Stede knows that's true. Lucius is right.

Ed opens his eyes and looks up at Stede. "These past few weeks have been the most fun I've had in ages. Years. Maybe ever."

Stede grins down at him, because, yeah, he feels the same.

"So, uh," Ed goes on. "I reckon what makes Ed happy is… you."

"Well, that's…" Stede says, not quite sure what to say, but wanting to tell Ed it's the same for him. He goes with, "You make Stede happy."

Ed looks up at him, smiling, and Stede could look at him like that forever.

Even though his words made Ed smile like that, Stede knows they're woefully inadequate. And if there's one thing Stede can do these days, it's be adequate. He can do better.

"Ed, I… I'm sorry I didn't realise sooner. I thought… I didn't…" Stede takes a breath before he continues. "What I'm trying to say is that… I love you."

Ed's eyes go wide and for a second, Stede thinks he's made an enormous mistake, thinks he's misread everything, misunderstood what Lucius was saying and what Ed was saying. But then Ed laughs and says, "I love you too, Stede!"

Stede laughs then, and scoops Ed up and brings him to his face where Ed nuzzles in to him and then places the tiniest little kiss right on the corner of Stede's mouth.

And the next thing Stede knows, a full sized and naked Ed is sprawled on top of him, lips pressed into his.

"Fuck!" Ed says, pulling back from Stede. "Shit! What the fuck?" He looks at his hand and then takes Stede's hand and looks at them both together. "Oh fuck! I'm big again! What the fuck?"

"Ed!" Stede exclaims. He tries not to think about the fact that Ed is naked and on top of him and then decides that actually, maybe it's okay to think about Ed naked. He grins and takes Ed's face in both hands. "Ed," he says again.

Ed gazes at him with a lopsided smile that makes the tickle in Stede's brain and the clench of his heart and the fluttering in his stomach converge into one overwhelming feeling of happiness. No, not happiness. Love. Love for this funny, silly, beautiful, clever, grumpy man before him.

It surges out of him and he's not surprised the rest of the crew could see it all this time because it's rainbows and sparkles and rose petals and the smell of rain and a thousand tiny tinkling bells. It's silk and leather and citrus and smoke and sweet honey. It's a gentle breeze on a warm day and it's a swirling tempest engulfing everything in its path.

It surges out of Stede, and it's surging out of Ed too, meeting in the space between them and pulling them together, joining them forever.

"Two souls entwined," Stede whispers, and then he leans in and kisses Ed properly.