Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After MePad's memorial and the following dance party celebrating Cobs’ violent demise, everybody gathered outside of Hotel OJ Hoot for its grand reopening. With the help of several outsiders, it had been quickly rebuilt and upgraded. Safety precautions had been applied all around the hotel. Now that none of them could be revived, safety was more important than ever before.
“Thank you all for coming!” Orange Juice exclaimed over the chattering, effectively quieting the crowd. “Paper and I have a few announcements to make before we let you all in.”
Yin-yang groaned loudly, but OJ ignored them.
“First of all, you are not required to live here. If you don't want to, you don't have to. I- we understand that some of you don't want to see each other all the time, and it's a little hard to avoid each other when living in the same building.”
Suitcase smiled a little.
“Second of all,” OJ continued, “violence will result in punishment.”
“N-non violent punishment.” Paper clarified.
“Yes, yes. We don't want to risk anyone getting killed, as you won't be able to come back.” OJ grasped onto Paper's hand subconsciously. Paper blushed a little. “For a first-time violation of this rule, you will be grounded and sent to the calm-down corner.”
“Grounded??” Nickel exclaimed loudly, catching everyone's attention. “What are we, children??”
OJ narrowed his eyes a little. “If you act like a child, you will be treated as such.” He cleared his throat and continued his speech. “For a second and third time violation, you will also be grounded, just for a longer amount of time. Anything more than that, and you will be banished from the hotel for a year.”
“What if it was an accident?” Yin asked nervously.
Paper stepped forward a bit. “If you can prove it was an accident, then you won't be punished. Just… Please be careful.”
“Does killing count as violence?” Yang asked, raising his hand. Yin glared, muttering “Yang!!”
“Yes, if you kill someone, you will be banished forever.” OJ stated sternly. “Accident or not.”
“Glass o’ Orange Joe,” Lightbulb raised her hand, “some of us die particu.. par.. perticu..”
“Particularly?” Paintbrush murmured.
“Yes, that! Um, die easily. Some of us die easily. What do we do about that?”
“Trust me, I get that.” OJ said, shuddering. “I've talked to Test Tube, and she will be creating protective gear for those of us easily killed. Or, even if you aren't killed easily, you can ask her to make you protection too.”
“What kind of gear?” Balloon asked.
OJ motioned to Test Tube, who walked to the front and turned to the crowd. “For us glass objects, I'll be upgrading us to bullet-proof glass. Balloon, you'll get thicker material to prevent you from popping. Paper objects will get a removable laminated cover. I'll also figure out a way to make all of us fire-proof and water-proof.”
Applause erupted from the crowd, the loudest being from Fan, as Test Tube grinned a little and bowed. She walked back over to Fan.
“Alright, alright, quiet down everyone.” OJ said. “Okay. Third of all, just so you all know, the bedrooms have been made soundproof. Um, no particular reason as to why. Just thought it should be known.”
Paper raised an eyebrow and glanced at OJ.
OJ cleared his throat. “Aaaanyway, that means if you scream, nobody will hear you. So, we have emergency buttons in all rooms, just in case you need help. Don't hesitate to let us know if you need help, okay?”
Everyone nodded, glancing at one another.
“Everyone also gets their own room!” Paper exclaimed. “Oh. Except for, um, Yin-Yang, I guess. You two will have to stay together. And, um. Cherries.”
Yin-Yang nodded solemnly. Cherries didn't react.
“You don't have to sleep in your own room, though. You can sleep in a friend's room. Or, um, a partner’s room.” Paper added, blushing. OJ smirked.
Salt's eye twitched.
“Other less-important rules will be on the wall on the ground floor.” OJ continued. “Any questions?”
“Can I be the janitor?” Soap nearly shrieked. OJ blinked slowly before nodding.
“Goo?” OJ said, turning to Goo's raised… hand?
“Is a chicken an animal, or a bird?”
“Not this drabble again,” Silver Spoon groaned.
“It's both. Any other questions? No? Good.” OJ stated simply. “Now, explore Hoot to your heart's content!”
Lightbulb turned to smile at Paintbrush. “Hey, that almost rhymed!”
Painty rolled their eyes and followed the rest of the crowd inside.

Everybody murmured approvingly upon entering the newly-refurbished hotel. Even Silver Spoon grinned broadly, admiring the polished wooden flooring.
The front entrance was wider than before, with a dazzling golden archway overhead. Most of the floor was covered by soft red carpet, most likely to prevent glass objects shattering if they fall. The entrance hall was spacious, yet oddly cozy. It must have been the warm lights hung from every wall. Accompanying the glass-shaped lanterns were twinkling fairy lights, which some (Trophy) may deem as tacky, but others as pleasant. It isn't obvious, but the fairy lights can change colors to suit several occasions.
Upon entering the main room, there is a faint citrus aroma, which OJ found unpleasant and strange, but Paper liked it. One of those couches that make a semi-circle that you see in commercials sat in the middle of the area, facing an obnoxiously large television set. There were vending machines at the far end of the back wall, along with a popcorn machine. A kitchen was in view, but nobody decided to visit it just yet, and the author is getting tired of describing the interior.
There were two elevators and a staircase. The elevators were wheel-friendly for Cabby and any other wheeled object that might visit.
The second floor was a massive library, as Cabby's library on the Invitational island had been generated by MeLife and never came back. Walkie-Talkie was stationed there.
The third floor and above had the bedrooms and other various rooms. Every floor had at least one bathroom, for objects who need to shower, or somehow use the toilet. Toilet was not stationed there and was disturbed by the rooms’ existence.
Every bedroom had a nameplate on it with a pixelated drawing of each resident. The nameplates were firmly attached to the doors so no sneaky individuals could switch the nameplates for nefarious reasons.
The bedrooms also seemed to be placed with friendships in mind, as Nickel and Balloon's rooms were right next to each other. Suitcase was on the other side of Balloon. Baseball was on the other side of Nickel. Paper and OJ's rooms were also next to each other. Something queer is going on here.
In summary, the hotel was very big and cool. Moving on.
“Hey, Nickel! How's it going?” Baseball asked as they both approached their rooms.
“You need to stop asking me that.”
“Sorry.”
Nickel shrugged his… shoulders?? “Anyway, it's not going terribly. My ears are still ringing from that explosion.”
“Damn, that sucks. It's kinda crazy that all this happened just in the past few hours. Most eventful day of my life.”
Nickel laughed. “Yeah, I'll have to agree with ya there.” He kicked the button low on the wall beside his door and it opened. He nodded at Baseball. “Well, see you tomorrow, I guess.”
Baseball smiled. “Yup. See ya.”
Nickel shut the door behind him. Balloon watched him go.
Balloon turned as he heard Suitcase approaching. “Hi, Suitcase! Congrats again on winning!!”
Suitcase startled a little, before realizing she wasn't hallucinating and smiled back. “Thanks! I couldn't have done it without you!”
“Oh, shut up!” Trophy grumbled as he walked by. Trophy's room was at the end of the hall, next to the closet and nobody else. This is a reference to how he has no friends.
Suitcase's only acknowledgement that Trophy had said anything was with the roll of her eyes.
“Haha, thanks, Suitcase.” Balloon said, rubbing the back of his head. “I didn't really do anything, though.”
“Of course you did!” Suitcase protested. Balloon shrugged and waved goodbye as he entered his room. Suitcase sighed as she entered her room in turn.
Everybody else eventually went to bed for the night (Paper went in OJ's room) and rested after the long day.

Chapter Text

“So…” Paper said, turning to OJ. “What's the real reason the rooms are soundproof..?”
“Oh!” OJ exclaimed, facing Paper. “I snore.”
Paper's expression faltered. “Oh.. right.”
“What do you mean, ‘right’??” OJ stuttered, panicking. “Did you already know?? Was I that loud??”
“N-no!! That's not what I meant!” Paper squeaked, flushing. “I j-just thought you meant s-something else, that's all!!”
OJ blinked. “Oh? What did you think I meant?”
“Nothing!!” Paper covered his face in embarrassment as he, mortified, hurried into the bathroom. OJ stared after him.

Test Tube heard the doorbell ring. She stood up and opened the door, seeing Fan smiling outside, looking exhausted.
“Hi, Testy!!” He said, panting. “Can I come in?”
“Uhm, sure.” She said, startled. Fan stumbled into her room and face-planted on her bed. “Why do you look like you just ran a mile? Our rooms are right next to each other!”
Fan lifted his… head? a little and grinned apologetically. “Ha.. it's a funny story.”
Test Tube sat down beside him, waiting for him to catch his breath.
“So, um, I was knocking on your door, like, a lot,” he started, “and I started panicking because you weren't answering, and I got freaked out and ran around the hotel, and then I ran into Paintbrush, and I told them I thought you were dead, and then,” he took a deep breath, “and then they reminded me that the rooms are soundproof, so you might've not been able to hear me! They then told me there was a doorbell, and to try that, and now I'm here!!”
“You.. you thought I was dead?” Test Tube gasped. “Why?”
“Well, cuz, cuz you weren't answering! And, after today, I thought that maybe!! Just maybe! You had died again, and I, I couldn't deal with that!” he protested, looking horrified.
Test Tube sighed and patted him on the head. “There's nothing to worry about, Fan! I'm fine! I wouldn't die again that easily.” She mumbled.
“But, you're made of glass!! And, and you haven't upgraded to bullet-proof glass yet, so I thought-”
Test Tube cut him off with a chuckle. Fan scoffed haughtily and face-planted back onto the bed, mumbling something into the blanket.
“Sorry! I'm sorry, I just thought it was really cute how worried you were about me!” She giggled, lightly scratching his back. He lifted his head, eyes wide, before stuffing his face back down, clearly embarrassed. She smirked as she continued her massage.

Lightbulb dragged Paintbrush by the hand into her room. Painty smiled warmly as they let themselves be dragged.
Lightbulb slammed the door behind them before shoving Painty onto her bed. Paintbrush gasped a little as Lightbulb climbed on top of them.
‘What are you doing??” Painty asked anxiously.
“Is it not obvious?” Lightbulb asked, flopping down beside them. “We're cuddling!” She proceeded to wrap her arms around Paintbrush and hug them close. Paintbrush blinked a couple of times before hugging her back.
“Okay, why?” Painty asked incredulously.
Lightbulb frowned. “Um, because I missed you??” She stated, as though it was obvious. “And you missed me??”
“Okay, okay.” Paintbrush sighed. They closed their eyes as Lightbulb snuggled into them, rubbing her head against their shoulder. They felt Lightbulb sigh deeply as she wrapped her legs around their waist.
Paintbrush squinted open their eyes a little and glanced down at Lightbulb. They felt their face heat up a bit at the contact, but not in an angry way. They forced their eyes shut again as they pondered over what had happened that day.
They remembered the panic they felt when Test Tube collapsed, ceasing to exist. They shivered, suddenly cold when being reminded of Fan and Lightbulb doing the same. Lightbulb seemed to notice and sat up a little.
“Paint, you're warm, but you're shaking. Do you have a fever or somethin’? Cuz I ain't catchin’ that.”
“N-no!!” Paintbrush sputtered. “I was just… thinking. Just thinking about everything that happened today.”
Lightbulb didn't seem to like this response and frowned deeply. Paintbrush hugged themselves and took a deep breath.
“I… I'm still scared. I really, really thought that I had lost you there, Lightbulb. It was… terrifying.”
Lightbulb nodded, her attention unwavering. Painty swallowed awkwardly.
“I-I don't know, I guess I just don't like the quiet right now,” Painty laughed, though it was devoid of humor. Lightbrush continued staring, but her eyes seemed a little less focused, as though she was thinking.
“Well, do ya wanna watch TV? I've been planning on watching season three; it has you in it, after all!” Lightbulb reached for the remote on her nightstand.
Paintbrush shrugged a little. “I guess. It might be a little embarrassing, though.”
“Oh, hell yeah! That means I get to tease you!” Lightbulb laughed, elbowing Paintbrush. Paintbrush smiled a little, sliding under the covers. Lightbulb followed suit and flicked on the TV.

Chapter Text

When Fan woke up that morning, Test Tube was gone. A sticky note on the bedside table said that she'd gone to her lab to start working on the protective gear.
Fan yawned a bit and rolled over onto his back, stretching his arms over his head. He unfolded himself and laid with his arms to his sides as he breathed deeply for a few minutes. He didn't do this very often, but his body felt a little sore after going through so much trauma yesterday.
He slowly opened his eyes upon hearing the doorbell ring. He sat up a little too quickly, and groaned at the resulting head-rush.
Nickel was waiting outside the door when he swung it open. Nickel gave him a funny look.
“Man, Test Tube, you're looking dumber than usual. Are you feeling alright?”
“Oh, hardy-har-har. She's at her lab, I can take a message.”
“No, you're good. OJ asked me to let everyone know to meet downstairs for breakfast.”
Fan rubbed his tired eyes. “Scheduled breakfast? What's the occasion?”
“Probably nothing; he said that he wants to do this every morning. ‘Don't have to see each other’ my ass,” Nickel muttered, kicking at the carpet.
“Oh. Okay. I'll see you in a minute, I guess.”
“Yeah..” Nickel looked him up and down. “Ya know, I'd recommend not ‘airing yourself out’ in front of everyone. Just a suggestion.”
“Wha-” Fan sputtered, before realizing he'd forgotten to fold himself back up. “You- ugh, I'm a fan, what did you expect?! And I, I don't see you purchasing anything!”
Nickel grimaced at Fan's attempt at an insult. “Dude, stick to the blog. You're just embarrassing yourself.”
Fan pulled himself back together (literally) as Nickel walked away. He grumbled quietly as he quickly yanked his phone and hurried downstairs.

Half of the hotel's population had already made it down to the dining room, which had an absurdly long table reaching from one end to the other. Upon the table were plates upon plates of pancakes, waffles, bacon, and other breakfast items. He tried not to think about the fried eggs as Fan sat down near one end of the table. On his right, Lightbulb and Paintbrush were loudly conversing about something or other, he didn't really care. He kept an eye on the chair to his left, trying to save it for Test Tube.

Balloon grimaced as he watched more food come out of the kitchen, being delivered by Tea Kettle. He sent a small smile Suitcase's way as she walked by with Box.
“Boo.”
Balloon looked around to see Nickel approaching him. “Oh, hey. What's up?”
“What do you mean, ‘what's up’? Am I not welcome or something?”
Balloon rolled his eyes playfully. “Never.”
Nickel scoffed as he settled in beside him. They hadn't taken a seat yet in the dining room, and instead were watching the chaos from the main room. Nickel folded his legs as he sunk into the cushion on Balloon's left. He smirked up at him.
“You know, I think there's something going on between Fan and Test Tube. When I went to Test's room, he was there.”
“Dude, they're practically married, we already know this.”
“Guh-” Nickel rapidly shook his head. “I didn't know!!”
Balloon chuckled. “They have a kid together, ya doy. Were you seriously not paying enough attention??”
“THEY DO??”
“..yeah, Bot??”
“Oh yeah.”
Balloon giggled and Nickel huffed out a laugh.
“Next thing you'll tell me is that Paper and OJ might be a thing,” Balloon commented after calming down a little. Nickel stared blankly. “You… do know that they're… they're dating, right..?”
Nickel headbutted his shoulder and smirked up at him. “Yeah, I was just messing with you. They can't keep their hands off each other! I'd never.”
“Why not?”
“No hands.”
“Oh.”
“Hello!!”
They both turned to see Goo attempting to make his way towards them. He kept getting caught on the carpet.
“Test Tube should do something about that,” Nickel muttered to Balloon.
“Hi!! Hello!! OJ told me to tell you lovebirds that breakfast is starting!!” Goo exclaimed after giving up on his journey.
“Lovebirds??” They repeated together, cringing.
“Who the fuck thinks we're lovebirds?!” Nickel gagged saying the word. Balloon's face flushed red. Well, more than usual.
Goo shrank back into himself. “Uhm… Uh, OJ? That's the word he used..”
“Well, tell him to NOT!!” Nickel raised his voice, standing up.
“Err, perhaps you should take it as a compliment! Like a… a ghost getting booed off stage! Yeah!” Goo explained nervously. He attempted to back away from the situation, but got caught in the carpet again.
“There you go with your analogies and shit again! Never making ANY sense! Have you ever thought about keeping your mouth-”
“Nickel, calm down, it's not a big deal.” Balloon sighed, exasperated. Nickel sputtered over his words as he turned to glare at Balloon. Balloon noticed he was red, too.
Balloon stood up and approached Goo. Goo flattened for a second before Balloon offered him a hand. He scooped Goo up and carried him in one arm as he motioned to Nickel to come over. Nickel huffed and rolled his eyes as he reapproached.
“I liked your analogy, Goo.” Balloon murmured. Goo smiled appreciatively and snuggled against him. He waited for Nickel to approach before saying, “Nickel, you need to be nicer to people! Goo was just telling us what OJ told him too! He didn't do anything to warrant that reaction!”
Goo nodded enthusiastically. “I'm sorry! I didn't know it would upset you!! I'm like a… mailman unknowingly delivering a pipe bomb!! Yeah! And then, the pipe bomb blows up, and destroys your property!!”
“Jesus, it wasn't that serious,” Nickel muttered, raising an… eyebrow??
“Exactly! See, now you get it!” Balloon sighed, continuing on his way to the dining room. Nickel grumbled, following them.
Upon entering the dining room, Balloon put Goo down. Goo slithered away and took the seat to the right of Bot.
Nickel, still muttering angrily, glanced around for an empty seat. He moved his eyes to Balloon, who abruptly yanked him off the ground. Nickel let out a shout of surprise. Balloon carried him to a pair of empty seats and sat him down next to Baseball. Balloon took the seat on his other side.
“Why did you carry me? I can walk, you know!” Nickel glared, grinding his teeth.
Balloon rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You were just taking too long. I didn't want to stand there forever.”
Nickel scoffed. “I don't believe that was your only intention.”
Balloon snorted. “Yeah, I just wanted to mess with you.”
Nickel smirked before his expression dropped, seeing OJ enter the room. Balloon noticed his face darken and glanced toward the door. He sighed before muttering, “Really, man, it's not a big deal. It was a joke.”
Nickel's eyes flicked back to Balloon. “I know.. honestly, I don't know why I got so upset. Something about you just…” His face gradually grew warmer and he looked away. Balloon blushed in turn and looked in the opposite direction.

Chapter Text

Fan was getting nervous. Test Tube still hadn't shown up to breakfast and he couldn't think about anything else. He understood that she was a busy woman and couldn't afford to show up on time in some cases, but that didn't stop him from worrying.
The noise of the room had become an afterthought as he rhythmically tapped his fingers against the table. His thoughts were racing as his mind came up with dozens of ways Test Tube could've perished since the last time he saw her.
His focus was shattered and directed to OJ's incredibly loud voice booming out of a megaphone. Fan's eye twitched as he winced, his… ears?? ringing.
“Good morning, everybody! I hope you had a fantastic night of sleep! I know I did!!” OJ's charismatic voice rang out. He had turned the megaphone down after he had gathered everyone's attention.
“We have an important announcement to make this morning, so I'd appreciate it if you all paid close attention to Test Tube, our local science genius!”
Fan's mood immediately skyrocketed as he noticed Test Tube standing beside OJ, looking exhausted. He waved his hand high over his head. She noticed and winked at him.
“Heya. I've managed to successfully transform my glass into bullet-proof glass and will be able to assist all glass objects shortly. Lightbulb, after breakfast if you could carefully make your way to my lab I'd like to ensure your safety first.”
Applause erupted from the crowd and Lightbulb jumped up and down. Test Tube frowned at this and Lightbulb stopped.
“Paper, I've also finished your laminated cover, so if you wanna head down too, that'd be great. Now, let's eat!”
Everyone cheered once more as Test Tube made her way towards Fan, who was cheering the loudest. He hugged her as she approached, relieved sighs escaping his mouth.
“You're amazing, Test Tube!! And, and not just that, a hero!!” He exclaimed as they broke apart.
Test Tube yawned before replying, “I'm just doing my job. It's nothing, really.”
“C'mon, don't downplay yourself like that! Have some self-respect!”
They settled down into their seats and filled their plates with various breakfast options. Test Tube frowned at the scrambled eggs.
“Did you get any sleep last night?” Fan asked around a mouth full of pancakes. Test Tube blinked slowly before noticing that he had asked her a question.
“Sorry, what was that?”
Fan chuckled awkwardly. “Um, right, uhh… d-did you get enough sleep last night?” He repeated after swallowing his food.
“Oh, I didn't sleep.” She replied. “Had a lot of work to do, didn't have the time.”
Fan sputtered, glaring at her as she piled sausage on her plate. “No time?? So, so you left me right after I fell asleep??”
“Yup.”
Fan frowned at her nonchalance. Test Tube caught wind that she'd said something he didn't like a few moments later.
“Sorry, did you not like that I left?”
Fan shook his… head? “I'm not upset that you left, I mean, you have a job to do,” he explained, “I just don't like that you left immediately. I mean, like, it makes me feel like I'm just a, a roadblock or something. Like you're impatiently waiting for me to fall asleep.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “And, I mean, I'm sure that it's just me being sensitive, I mean, that's, that's like my trademark, so really you don't need to listen to me or anything—”
“Stop.”
Test Tube put a hand on his shoulder and cut him off. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled.
“You don't have anything to apologize for.” Test Tube stated firmly. “I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't take your feelings into consideration before leaving you behind. I'm sorry.”
Fan smiled. “It's okay. Just, next time could you stay a little bit longer? You don't have to if you're busy.”
Test Tube smiled back. “Okay. I'll let you know whenever I plan to pull an all-nighter, and you can just sleep in your room so you don't feel like an annoyance.”
Fan's smile faded a little. “You really shouldn't be pulling all-nighters in the first place, you know this.”
“I need to,” she protested, “I can get so much research done when nobody else needs my attention! If I didn't work all of last night, I wouldn't have gotten the bullet-proof glass done!”
Fan clenched his teeth. “Test Tube, do you realize that when you describe us like that, it makes us seem even more like obstacles?”
Test Tube opened her mouth to respond, but jumped when Lightbulb stepped between them.
“Heya, Testy, when are we gonna head on down to science town? I'm SICK of being careful 24/7, I just wanna let loose!!”
Test Tube smiled at her before taking her hand. “Right now is fine, I'm not hungry anyway.”
Fan sputtered as Test Tube stood up. “B-but—”
“Not now, Fan,” Test Tube sighed, “I have other obligations right now.”
Fan stared slack-jawed as they walked away.