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Chapter Text

Dick :

 

Dick was driving back to Blüdhaven, the only difference was that he was bringing back Damian with him. After the last shocking reveals, he couldn't let the kid down, not after the way Damian held into him.

 

Dick tried to speak but he quickly understood that the youngest was dissiociating. So he let the kid in peace, still checking every few minutes if Damian wasn't having a panic attack. The kid gaze was focused on the road, eyes actually half following what was really happening.

 

It hurted the older man to see this. Damian had always been a kid interested in everything. He always loved to learn new things but right now it felt like the youngest had lost that spark and Dick could understand why but it still hurted him to see this.

 

After a few hours of road, they finally arrived. The kid refused any medical check, becoming agressive at the simple fact that Bruce implied he had no choice.

 

And so him and Bruce had to trust Damian's words that he was fine. That didn't stop Dick from making sure the kid do the less possible task. That is why he asked Damian to go unlock the door first while Dick bring all his luggage up.

 

The usual Damian would had fight about how he wasn't a kid and he could carry them but right now the youngest just nodded. Not even looking up at Dick. It broke his heart.

 

Him and Bruce had a talk. Dick was mad at his adoptive dad for not listening to Damian, for never listening to any of them. But as always Bruce stayed stoic, barely showing emotions, his dad propably in deny of what happened. He also refused to talk about the video he saw, Dick only heard the noises and it was enough for him to feel the need to commit something he vowed to never do.

 

Tim was also shakened by all that. The teenager wasn't really getting along with Damian but he still came to Dick later on asking if the youngest was going to be okay. The older man texted Jason when he was halfway on the road. He just explained that something came up and that he was fine but that he would need to go back to his city.

Jason had been understanding but Dick knew he would have to double his effort as leaving early like that wasn't in his plan. They were supposed to meet up again so the older man didn't wanted to give the wrong impression to his younger brother.

 

He promised Jason that he would call him in a few days once everything setlle down also telling him to stay safe. Now his focus was fully on Damian. His appartment wasn't really what you call big. He only had one bedroom and bathroom. The living room was mixed with the kitchen and he had a desk room. Enough for him to live alone but not enough to live with a kid.

 

So he would re-arrange his desk and turn it into a bedroom. That was the plan. He would also need to go shopping with Damian for buying everything for the kid's room.

 

Bruce begged Dick to let him buy every furnitures Damian would need. The older man agreed after seeing the desperation in his adoptive dad's gaze. He tried to ask the youngest if he wanted to go even trying to joke about them having free pass because Bruce gave them his card.

 

But nothing worked. Damian didn't smiled, didn't even gave a single snarky comments. When he bring the kid to buy things for his new room, the youngest struggle to pick anything. Always looking up at Dick for validation of every single of his choice. The youngest also flinched at every noises and everything coming near him. Around kids that were the same age as Damian's abuser, the youngest hidded himself behind Dick, grabbing his hand tightly.

 

The older man blamed himself. He should had seen it, he should had been better. Damian had been acting strange for a while now. Why didn't he noticed? Why did he not do anything?

 

But it was too late. He could now only focus on Damian and give him all his love and support. Recovery would be long and hard, himself was still affected by everything that happened even years later.

 

They both had pass the evening putting everything together. The youngest once again stayed silence, only speaking a few words when he needed a piece or a screwdriver. Dick did not force a conversation, not yet, rushing Damian right now wasn't a good idea.

 

The kid would open up to him when he felt like it. Dick would be patient, it was the least he could do.

 

Once they finish assembling everything it was pretty late. The room wasn't done yet they just had picked last minutes furnitures such as : a bed, a desk and a chair.

 

Damian stood up looking at him. "May I go take a shower?"

 

"Of course Dami, I'll stay in the living room if you need anything." Dick gave him a ressuring smile. The youngest left. The older man took a deep breath, he felt slightly overwhelmed with everythinng but he couldn't break, Damian needed him.

 

He heard his phone ringing he went to pick it up. He answered hearing Bruce's voice. "How is everything going?"

 

"Hi to you too. But everything is going... As well as it could go with the current situation. I only bought a bed and a desk for him, he didn't wanted anything else. I will try again later. But B, he didn't say a word or actually barely a word. I'm worried."

 

"Give him time Dick, remember when you weren't speaking for a while when I first take you in? Well now look at you. You can speak for hours without any problems."

 

Dick chuckled wetly at that. It's true he used to be nonverbal when he was younger, right after his parent death. It was normal for Damian, the older man should stop worrying over normal traumative responses.

 

"Are you doing well, chum?" His adoptive father asked.

 

Dick swallowed thickly, feeling the tears at the corner of his eyes. "I can't allow myself to break now."

 

"I'm here for you if you need to speak. And I know Damian is priority but son I am worried about you too. You and I know what I mean."

 

Of course Dick knew, his dad had been there when Dick broke down afetr his assault.

 

"Don't worry B. I am doing alright. I'll be fine."

 

"Alright chum. Please take care of Damian. I know you won't fail him like I did. Stay safe. Both of you"

 

"You too Bruce. You didn't fail him, Bye." With that he hang up, placing his phone in his pocket before walking into the living room. His own desk was awkwardly place against the wall. It wasn't the best but he didn't have the energy to do more tonight. He still needed to cook for the kid and everyone knew that he wasn't someone that made homemade meal.

 

He tried to look at something that won't make the youngest freak out. Because yes when Damian wasn't on survival mode he was quit picky about what he ate. He bought some vegetables on their way back home and decided to try to prepare dinner with that.

 

After a good thirty minutes trying to make everything edible, Dick thought he succeed pretty well but he had another probblem Damian was still missing. And the kid wasn't someone that used to take long shower.

 

Dick hurried to enter his own bedroom where the only bathroom was located. The water was still running, the older man knocked on the door, placing his hear against the door. he could hear a few sobs but no response.

 

"Damian? Sweetheart I need you to come out for me. Are you alright?" Dick heard the water stop. A few second later Damian opened the door, drapped in a towel. His eyes were red and puffy.

 

"Oh Dami."

 

The younger boy walked toward Dick before placing his head on the older man's stomach. DIck carefully placed his hand in Damian's hair, stroking it slowly.

 

"You are alright Dami. I'm here yea?"

 

A little noise escaped the boy's mouth.

 

"Let's get you dress and then we can have a proper hug yea?"

 

Damian nodded, leaving hesitantly Dick before heading to his new bedroom. The older man walked back to the living room and waited on the sofa. The kid was back soon enough, sitting next to Dick before hugging him.

 

They stayed like that for a while not speaking. Dick was stroking the youngest's hair slowly. Damian was too calm. No tears, no fast breath, nothing. The kid was probably dissiociating pretty hard.

 

Damian didn't ate much this past days, the older man could see it at the way the boy got thinner.

 

"Dami, I made food. You know with the vegetable we boughts."

 

The youngest looked up before shaking his head.

 

"Please Dames, you need to eat. It's important." Dick tried to sound gentle but he really needed the boy to eat something. "I'll finish what you don't eat."

 

Damian shook his head. DIck tried to not sigh out loud and keep it cool. "Alright then do you want to go sleep? You can sleep with me if you want and if you don't want just know I'll be right there in my room."

 

"Alone."

 

Dick nodded, Taking the boy one last time in his arms before following him into his room. The kid squeezed his hand before letting go and getting into bed. Dick wished him goodnight, reminding Damian he wasn't far if he needed anything.

 

Damian just gave a sleepy nod before laying fully down. Dick left shortly after that. He didn't went to sleep immediatly, his mind was too focus on how he had failed the youngest. Bruce had already taken care of the abuser. He didn't gave much information to Dick, probably knowing the older man wasn't about to apply Batman's rule really well.

 

After a while of listening carefully to every sounds in Damian's room and founding nothing worrying. Dick decided to finally head to bed. He was also exhausted from everything that happened.

 

Tomorrow would be a different day. He would try to make the kid eat and then maybe they could watch a movie or do any activities together?

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

Damian woke up feeling alright, he slept rather well. There was still something deep down in his heart but he refused to acknownledge it. He had already been bothering everyone too much, he needed to be better if he wanted to even dare to hope to be back into Father's esteem.

 

He woke up early today, Richard had been good to him in those last two days, he needed to repay him. Damian had planned to prepare breakfast for both of them. He remembered watching Pennyworth making pancakes, it shouldn't be that hard to recreate.

 

Damian checked if Richard had everything he needed before getting to work. This took him a good twenty minutes to get the mix ready and as he was about to grab a pan, he noticed Richard sleepily walking out of his room.

 

"Morning Dami. What are you doing, up so early." The older man said while stretching.

 

"I thought I could prepare something for you to repay you for your kindness."

 

Richard's eyes softened, making Damian's chest do something weird.

 

"You don't need to Dami, I'm just happy to have you around. Are you alright?"

 

"Tt, of course I am. Now go sit down, it is my turn to take care of you."

 

"Dam-"

 

One glare from the youngest and Richard chuckled before giving in and sitting down. Damian could still feel the older man's gaze on him, his brother was worrying too much. The youngest was fine, he was better than civilians, he was Ro-.

 

Was he still allowed to be Robin? Father had took it away and now that he saw how weak Damian was his father surely won't give it back anytime soon. But Richard was different, no? The older man always told that Damian was his Robin, so he surely won't take it away from the youngest, right?

 

Damian bring the pancakes to his brother, they looked fine and edible, now he hoped the taste was also alright. He placed a plate infront of Richard before taking one for himself. The youngest was staring at the older man, worried if he would like it.

 

As expected Richard gave nothing away, he smiled at Damian telling him it was good but could he trust the older man? No.

 

So he took a bite himself, it was a bit too sugary but other than that it was tasting alright but Damian knew they weren't that good either, call it average at most. Now he needed to ask Richard about Robin. But he suddenly felt his throat turn dry. He tried to fight against it and speak, he wasn't a coward.

 

"I have a question to ask."

 

"Sure go ahead, I'm listening."

 

"It's about Robin."

 

Richard looked up at the mention of it. "Yes, what about it?"

 

"Father took it away from me when-" Damian tried to swallow his food as well as the few flash of images about the older boy he just had. "When my classmate would ask me to stay after school to..." The youngest cleared his throat. "And Father thought I was just avoiding Pennyworth on purpose just to mess with him because we had a fight and so he took Robin away and now that he saw how much I failed he probably won't give it back to me. And I was wondering if you won't allow me either to be Robing again."

 

"He did what?!" Was all Richard answered. Damian was confused as why the older man was mad at Father and not at Damian.

 

"He benched me from Robin, it's been a month, one week and three days now."

 

Richard's face was different from everything Damian had see. There was still care in his eyes but they were also holding a rage the youngest had never seen before and who he will never had associated to Richard.

 

"Damian," The older man took a deep breath. "Bruce would never have the right to take Robin away from you, I gave it to you. Robin is completly yours, no one and I insist no one can take it away from you. The only thing I can accept is Bruce telling you to stay home because you are injured but other than that, he can not bench you for the reason that you, in his eyes, decided to be rebelious. Gosh would he ever fucking learn."

 

That was the first time Damian heard Richard swear. And also he felt a strange kind of relief from hearing the older man tell him Robin is his. Father can not take it away, no one can. It was his and that took off a weight from his soul, he wasn't aware of.

 

Richard stood up before kneeling infront of Damian and taking his hand. "Dami, I'll talk to Bruce yea? Robin is yours, always. "

 

The youngest felt something wet sliding down his cheek, Richard only squeezed his hand harder, no judgement shown in his eyes. The younger boy let himself fall into the man lap. Burrying his face into the crook of Richard's neck. He wasn't sad, so why was he crying?

 

Damian only felt relieved, he wanted to thanks Richard but the word were stuck at the back of his throat. The older man held him tight regardless, kissing the youngest's hair softly.

 

"You are such an amazing Robin. Don't ever doubt that Dami."

 

A little sob escaped the youngest's lips. "Only because of you Richard."

 

He heard the older man sniffled above him. Damian held into him tighter. Richard was warm, it helped to take away the coldness in his heart and in his mind.

 

"Wanna go watch a movie? I still have plenty to show you."

 

"Very well. Show me your low taste."

 

"Eh, they are amazing."

 

Damian hidded his smile and stood up to go sit on the couch, waiting for Richard to join. They passed most of the day watching movies and cuddling. At night the youngest agreed to eat a bit before wanting to go shower.

 

Damian still felt dirty. He wasn't so sure why, he made sure to clean himself properly but he still felt like everything was dirty. And the shower he just took still did not change anything. He tried everything but nothing worked maybe he could ask Richard about it.

 

The older man was back on the couch, busy texting. When he heard Damian he finally looked up, smiling before sending one last text and putting his phone aside.

 

"Do you need anything Damian?"

 

"I have a few questions I would like to ask. It is important and I was hoping you would have a solution to it."

 

"I'm listening tell me" The older man patted the spot next to him. Damian joined before staring at the turned off tv infront of them.

 

"I had been feeling dirty and no matter how much I wash myself, I-I can still feel... him" Damian hated himself for how his voice was shaking.

 

Richard was silent for a while next to him and the youngest did not rush. When the older man finally spoke up again, it wasn't something Damian expected.

 

"I know how it feels and it's normal. It sucks and there is nothing much you can do about it."

 

"But why." Was Damian never going to be able to wash it away? And what happened to Richard? When?

 

"Your mind is stuck into that memory, it doesn't know that you are out of it. That you are now safe. But with time it would feel less strong and one day you would be able to not feel it anymore but it takes time Dami."

 

"Who hurted you Richard? Did Father took care of it?"

 

Richard nodded, gaze unfocused. Damian kissed the older man's cheek before settling back down. His brother pressed his head on the youngest and they stayed silent for a while. The younger boy understood that it was still something Richard wasn't ready to open about.

 

Damian still had more questions so he continued. "I only learnt about basic human reproduction an-and I only heard slightly about it from people around me that it could also happen between people of the same gender. I never really gave more thought about it but is it supposed to be painful?"

 

Richard shut his eyes close at the youngest's question. "No Damian, it is not."

 

"How? How could people enjoy that."

 

"Because you need to prepare the body before doing anything, consent play also a big part. It is easier if you are relaxed and if you want it rather than forcing it."

 

"But how do you prepare the body for it?"

 

"You... There is plenty of way. The main purpose is to relax the muscle." Richard cleared his throat clearly as uncomfortable with this whole conversation. Damian also was but he needed to know. "The easiest way is with... Well fingers."

 

Damian nodded. It was something he never thought about. "Have you ever experienced this before Richard? Or are you not attracted to man?"

 

Richard choked before looking at Damian with wide eyes. The older man then laughed. "Dami it is not something you can ask people about just like that."

 

"Alright sorry." The youngest suddenly felt his face turn red.

 

"No worries, I just really didn't expected that from you. But yea I am attracted to both men and women, just never dated a man before if that was your question." Richard was still laughing and Damian wanted nothing more than to punch his face.

 

"Stop laughing at me."

 

Richard patted the youngest's hair before wipping his tears and kissing Damian's temple. That was better and more acceptable.

 

"Do you have more questions Dami?"

 

He did but he was too exhausted and the youngest didn't feel ready for more. "Not at the moment."

 

"Alright Dami, I'm here if you want to ask anything. And no question are stupid, I'm sorry for laughing earlier it was just nervous."

 

"Tt, I forgive you."

 

"Can I take you on my laps and hug you?" Richard asked, which was a first, the oldest never asked before. Damian found it stupid, he didn't need to be babied like that what happened was fine, he was fine.

 

The youngest moved himself on the older man before hugging him tightly. He heard Richard sigh and relax before kissing the top of his head. Damian burried his face in the older man's neck. He hadn't been grant a lots of hug growing up. He never asked for it, it was said to make him grow soft, so no one ever gave him hug.

 

Richard was the first person he met, who gave hug like it was breathing. At first Damian found it uncomfortable and weird but with time he started to get used to it. When Richard was Batman, the youngest had been getting hugs on daily basis and once he went back to living with Father he found himself missing them.

 

But he always scolded himself for it, he couldn't be weak. And even if he should push Richard away, he find himself unable to. The older man's embrace felt safe, for a few minutes Damian felt like nothing could hurt him when he was like that.

 

And maybe the youngest relaxed too much he felt himself drifting to sleep. Richard must had notice as Damian felt himself getting carried to his room. The older man kissed the top of his head, before wishing him goodnight.

 

The youngest isn't sure if he replied or not but all he knew was that he felt comfortable. But his peace didn't last long as heard someone entering the living room. Settling all his sense on alert.

Chapter Text

Jason :

 

Jason was worried, it had been a bit less than two days that Dick left without a warning. The older man said something came up but never really explained why. He also said he was gonna call Jason but the question was when.

 

Dick had promised to Jason that they were going to meet up again before he left, which never happened. Jason was sad and a bit disappointed. He had been excited about that, even if they were still awkward around each other, mostly because Jason had the best idea to confess his feelings instead of just pretending nothing happened between them.

 

The younger man often thought about that kiss, about the feeling of Dick's against him. But now it was gone, The older man told him he just needed time but Jason doubted that. It was too good to be true.

 

Waiting wasn't his best quality since the younger man wasn't the most patient person on earth and that's how he was right now driving all the way up to Dick's appartment in the middle of the night... Smart choices? He never heard of that.

 

Did he knew where Dick lived? Absolutely not. Had he kindly asked Tim about giving him the adress? Yes and with no threats and no guns, that wasn't his type at all.

 

So with those freshly new information, Jason had been driving for a bit more than an hour. The night was looking peaceful at the opposite of his heart that was beating like crazy at the idea of breaking in Dick's appartment in the middle of the night.

 

Cause yes he wasn't about to knock. Too easy and Dick could easily pretend he wasn't there. While breaking in, at least, Jason was sure he was gonna be heard but that was the plan. Now how it really went was Jason unlocking the window, slipping in and after a few second he got punched.

 

And he knew Dick's punches damn well and that freaking one did not match it. Now the question was who the fuck was with the older man. Jason had no choice but to fight back. His nose was probably bleeding cause he felt something hot on his face.

 

As he was trying to push back the unknown person, he heard a kid voice speak. "Todd?"

 

What the fuck was Damian doing there? A few second after the lights turned on. Taking better view of his surrounding he noticed Damian still in a fighting stance and Dick next to the switch.

 

"Jason? Oh fuck you're bleeding." And with that the older man rushed he don't know where.

 

"What are you doing here Todd. And most importantly in the middle of the night?"

 

And here we go again, that brat looking him up and down like Jason was nothing more than a nasty bug.

 

"I should ask you the same question brat."

 

The kid opened his mouth but instead it was Dick's voice who answered. "He is going to live with me, sorry I didn't tell you."

 

The older man handed him a tissue that Jason harshly grabbed, still keeping that glaring contest that had started between him and Damian.

Dick sighed loudly. "Oh come on you two."

 

"Tt, you should be mad at him, not me. I didn't break into your appartment like a vulgar thief." The kid said, giving one last glare before walking to behind the first Robin.

 

Jason just rolled his eyes. "Why is he there anyway?"

 

DIck looked uncomfortable at the younger man question's. "It's- complicated. I don-"

 

"Because of my own weaknesses, for a few week a classmate recorded me while assaulting me and since Father is now too ashame of me, I went to live with Richard."

 

Jason suddenly felt anger rushing through him. His vision got blurry, as his blood was pumping fast in his veins. "Who? Where?"

 

"It is fine, Todd. Father took care of it. It is nothing important anyway. I am fine."

 

"Kid, it ain't nothing important." Jason turned to Dick. "Tell me why that bastard didn't protect his own kid? And worst why is he ashame of his son for getting assaulted?"

 

Jason felt conflicted. He knew Bruce was trash but on sexual assault, at least as Batman, he always took care of it. Even when Jason admitted about his shameful past.

 

"Bruce isn't ashame, Damian. We really need to have a discussion about that." Dick was now staring at Jason, his soft smile disappearing as he did so. "Bruce did not notice until it was too late and he feel really guilty about that." The older man for the first time truly glared at Jason. "Don't even dare to use it against him you hear me? I am not joking on that Jason. If I hear you even imply it to hurt Bruce, I'm going to make you think twice before you even try again."

 

Jason swallowed thickly, that was the first time Dick threatened to harm him, at least that openly. The younger man made sure to remember to not bring it up, even when he would be mad at the old man. "Alright undertsood."

 

"Now tell me what are you doing here. Is everything okay?" And Dick was back to his normal worrying self.

 

"yea, yea I'm fine. Just decided to check on you. You left without a word and you weren't really avaible but I understand why now. I should get going." Even the bleeding in his nose stopped, good opportunity he should leave.

 

"Stay, it's late. You did hours of road just to come."

 

"But the brat don't want me to stay."

 

"Indeed. Now leave."

 

"Damian." Dick scolded slightly. The kid rolled his eyes before glaring again at Jason.

 

"I think you should take care of your little gremlin. I'm fine."

 

"Jay stay." And yep, that was an order. "Damian go back to sleep. I need to have a talk with Jason."

 

The brat eyed them awkwardly before stepping closer to Dick and giving him a slight hug. The older man kneeled down, kissing the top of Damian's head before turning back to Jason as the brat left.

 

Dick gave an awkward smile to the younger man. "Wanna go to my room for privacy?"

 

Jason mind did wicked thing. Including really not appropriate images of him and Dick. "Uh, sure." He said trying to ignore the way his body reacted to those images. The older man led him to the bedroom.

 

Jason felt some kind of excitment from just to be able to see the room of his hero. Dick room was simple but what caught Jason's attention were the picture on the wall. There was a few of them, one was of Dick and his parents and all the others were from his new found family.

 

One was a picture Jason was unaware of. The younger man was in his Robin outfit, he cringed remembering how little that damn short was. In that picture he was asleep, curved on a ball on the ground.

 

First how would had Dick got that picture and second why was he pinning it on his wall. The older man must had noticed as he cleared his throat.

 

"I just wanted to have everyone on my wall and it was the only picture I had of you."

 

"Okay." Jason stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do now.

 

"So you came all the here just to... Check on me?" Dick asked unsure.

 

It's true that if you put it like that it's sound stupid and near psycho. Jason just needed to see the older man.

 

"Just wanted to see you. You left all of a sudden and we didn't hang out as you said."

 

"Sorry Jay. I should have told you, I'm really sorry."

 

"It's fine you had to take care of the brat and Dick, I don't mind going back now."

 

"Come on Jay, stay. It's late and I can give you my bed."

 

"It's your apartment litteraly, why would I take the bed?" Jason didn't feel like it was the right choice to stay here, Dick was clearly acting awkward around him.

 

"Jay, I just want you to stay." Dick pleaded.

 

The younger man started to hope, that maybe Dick wanted him too while in reality it was just the older man feeling guilty for leaving earlier. It hurted Jason but his stupid delusional self felt happy just by knowing maybe Dick actually wanted him here.

 

He felt something in him rise again, that need to destroy every relationship first just to give him a false sense of control. He looked at Dick, that care in the older man's eyes was pissing him off. He wanted to yell but he did not. Instead he took a deep breath, shoving those thoughts away.

 

"Okay but I take the sofa." Jason left after saying that. Dick grabbed his arm.

 

"Wait."

 

The younger man felt arms wrapping around himself. He stood there, not moving as Dick rested his head on Jason's shoulder. A kiss was pressed to his temple as Dick whispered.

 

"Goodnight Jay."

 

And why did that simple whispered set Jason's body on fire. He let out a shaky exhale before answering.

 

"Goodnight." While forcing his way out of Dick's arms to hide into the living room. The older man did not follow him, Jason eyed the couch. A bit small but it would do. That's when he realized that he didn't have any spare clothes and ain't no way he was going back to ask Dick, not like any of the man's clothes would fit Jason.

 

He sat down, thinking about why the hell did he drive all the way here. That was a stupid idea, he was mad at himself but he couldn't leave that would be extremely rude and would fuck up every progress he did with Dick.

 

A twisted part of him knew that the older man would still forgive Jason and probably even apologies to the younger man. And that twisted part of him wanted to make Dick run after him, wanted the man to crawl all the way up from hell just to sastify his twisted need for his hero to "save" him. To want him.

 

He shook his head, chasing those intrusive thoughts away. He wasn't going to do that, never. Dick deserved so much better.

 

He finally started to feel tiredness wash over him. He would try to sleep and leave as soon as he had the chance to at least say by to the older man. That was simple, even if he probably wasn't going to sleep at all and overthink his entire life but it was fine. He just needed to wait.

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

Damian opened his eyes, a bit confused at first and then remembering that he was now living with Richard. As he made his way toward the living room he noticed Todd asleep on the couch.

 

Memory of yesterday flooded to his mind. Todd had been acting awkward around Richard and the older man had also been suspicious. Damian as quietly as possible walked toward the kitchen but since Richard's living room and kitchen were litterally the same thing, it awoke the younger man.

 

Todd jolted awake before laying back down grunting when he noticed Damian. The youngest rolled his eyes before searching for something to eat. As he finally came across something edible, Todd as now standing and sitting at the table.

 

Todd raised a brow and this made the youngest want to throw knifes at him.

 

"What?" Damian demanded.

 

"What you doing brat. You sure everything is fine?"

 

It was Damian turn to raise a brow.

 

"You hands shaking kid."

 

That's when the youngest look at his hand and they were indeed shaking. He frustately put down the food and closed his eyes, trying to calm his weirdly increasing heartbeat. It is true that he woke up with an uneasy feeling but he decided to not acknownledge it.

 

He glared at Todd, not wanting to give the man an opportunity to find a weakness.

 

"Come on kid, I ain't trying to tease you. Just asking if you alright, it's normal after what happ-"

 

"Todd I am fine. It is nothing and it is my own fault, I can only blame myself. I do not have the right to bother anyone with that."

 

"Brat, we are not in the league here, Dick is the most mother hen person you could find in this family. I'm sure even Bruce wouldn't mind if you asked for help. And stop saying it's your fault, I don't know the whole story but I can assure you that as long as you didn't wanted it then it's not your fault."

 

"How could you know? You weren't there. I was weak and pathetic. I shound't had let it get to me."

 

"Kid even the strongest person to ever exist, won't be able to go through what you went without losing their mind."

 

"People who truly got raped will lose their mind but for me it wasn't a rape, I deserved it."

 

"Damian what the hell are you on? No one deserved it. You said yes? You agreed to it?"

 

The youngest's mind frozed for a bit. No it was his fault, he agreed to it.

 

"I-I did yes."

 

"Willingly? Were you forced?"

 

Was Damian forced, he could had said no but the video...

 

"I don't know." He replied truthfully.

 

"Well just that is enough to be called a rape." Todd was staring at him, analysing every single Damians's movements.

 

The youngest had not been raped, he was stronger than that.

 

"Hey, Damian if that can help you. When I was- in the street, I used to sell my body, kinda, it wasn't really the best but if I wanted food and a roof I needed to find some rich old man and... You got the point. And I still think it wasn't a rape but your dad, he always told me this was rape and nothing else. So Damian just because it's not as bad as someone, it doesn't make it any less of an assault."

 

The boy thought about it for a second, he first did not expect the revelation from Todd. He knew about the man past in the streets but he never expected those kind... Of activities to had happen. Damian agreed with Father, Todd had been abused, this wasn't right. But for him? The youngest still had a hard time accepting Todd's point about his situation. It was different, right?

 

"You not believing me uh?" Todd laughed, that was the first time Damian had seen him expressing something over than anger. "Just, ask for help yea? I'm not good at this shit but Dick is. You can go to him, I promise he gonna help you and listen to you."

 

"I... will think about it."

 

This put a small smile on the man's face. "Alright brat, that's good. Now go sit I'll bring you your breakfast."

 

Damian found himself listening, it was odd but he didn't felt as if he was being mocked. He ate in silence as Todd as watching over him, it felt weirdly peaceful for the youngest. After a while Richard finally showed up, clearly still half asleep.

 

"Hi you two." The older man spoke sleepily.

 

"Morning Richard."

 

"Morning Dickhead."

 

"No one is murdering the other?"

 

"Not yet" Damian answered.

 

Todd faked being offended as he turned to Damian. "Not yet, that's how you thanks me?"

 

"I didn't know I had to thank you for advices I never asked for but very well, thank you Todd." The youngest would never admit out loud that he actually felt thanksful.

 

"Aw thanks brat."

 

"What is he thanking you for?" Richard voice came in.

 

"Just helped me to have a different point of view on my assault."

 

"Wow, what was Jason advices cause I thought you were not good at it." Richard wiggles his eyesbrows childishly at Todd.

 

"He just shared his own assault like you did with me earlier this week." As soon as Damian pronounced those words, he felt Richard froze and Todd turned to stare at the older man.

 

"Dick, what? When? Who? Tell me that bastard is dead?"

 

Damian was confuse, wasn't everyone already aware of what happened to Richard? Had he made a mistake. As the youngest turned to his older brother, he saw Todd stand up.

 

"It's nothing Jay, I- you were not supposed to know. No one was."

 

Damian felt his blood ran cold, he did not meant to out Richard like that. "Sorry- I thought they knew. Please I'm sorry don't send me back."

 

Both men turned their head toward Damian.

 

"Hey Dami, why would I send you back? I-It's fine you didn't know." Richard smiled gently at him.

 

There was another problem in the room, it was Todd. The man was clearly mad but it didn't look like a normal outburst. His eyes were... Green? Was Damian hallucinating? That shade of green, it was the same one the youngest had. That's when he remembered Todd had been throw into the Pit too, but Damian eyes never changed color like that or did they?

 

"Hey Jay, it's fine, please calm down."

 

"Dick who? When? And why the hell didn't you talked about it?"

 

"Jay, it was long time ago, I-I called Bruce, he took care of it. You know how is with those stuff right?"

 

Todd close his eyes taking a deep breath. "Sorry I should go."

 

"Jay, please I'm sorry. Come on, don't leave like that please. It's my fault I should ha-"

 

"Dick, stop apologising."

 

Damian felt awful, all this was his fault. He should had keep his mouth shut. It was always because he couldn't keep it quiet. He always had to make everything worst. As Damian tried to fight the tears, Todd had already left.

 

The man sudden departure had clearly affected Richard.

 

"I'm sorry Richard, it's my fault."

 

"It is not Dami, I'm not mad."

 

"But Todd left be-"

 

"Damian, no. Jason did not left because of you." Annoyance could be heard in his older brother's voice. "I'll go take a shower and be here."

 

The youngest shut his mouth. He already had done enough bad thing. It was better if he keep it quiet today. Damian cleaned his plate before going back on the couch. Halfway throught his way there, he felt a smell. He wasn't sure from where it came but it settled a feeling in him.

 

His vision started to blurr, he felt his breathing increased. Images of him on his knees, as the older boy was... He screamed, begging him to stop. He heard footsteps behind, oh no he was going to be hit again for misbeheaving.

 

"Dami?"

 

That voice, it was Richard's voice. He was.... Safe?

 

"Hey Dami. I think you are having a panic attack there sweetheart."

 

He wasn't panicking, he was better than that. A hand touched his shoulder, he slapped it away. The touch felt horrible.

 

"Okay no touch. I understand."

 

A pityful whimpered left his mouth. "Richard?"

 

"Yes sweetheart I'm here."

 

When Damian's vision finally cleared, he threw himself in Richard's arms. "Please make it stop. Please I don't want him to touch me."

 

"Dami no one is here I promise. It's just me."

 

Damian cried out, he was scared. He felt the older boy here, his hands on him. But he also felt Richard's grounding presence. He was safe, it was just his mind dirty tricks. He was now being rocked side to side, it appease something in him. He was safe, his older brother was here. He was safe. Safe.

 

He kept repeating those words to himself. Nothing could hurt him as long as Richard was here. He still felt those touch, sensation, as if he was living everything again. Richard's voice was the only thing keeping him attach to reality. He knew he was crying but he didn't care anymore.

 

The pain in his chest was too loud, he wanted to rip his heart out. He grabbed onto the older man's shirt, trying to ask for help but all his words turned into ridiculous sobs.

 

"Shh, I'm here. Breath Dami. We are going to go through this together, alright sweetheart. I'm not leaving, never."

 

He buried his head onto Richard's neck, trying to calm his breathing down slowly. The older man's hand was stroking his hair gently. Damian loved this gesture,, Richard always did this to him, whenever the youngest had been hurt, both mentally or physically.

 

That was that gesture that could only mean Richard, he didn't allow anyone else to do this to him. It was between Damian and Richard only.

 

As his breathing finally calmed down, he found himself more aware of his surrounding and more in control of his own mind. The youngest wrapped his hands around the older man's neck.

 

"You're back with me sweetheart?" Richard's voice was soft, it filled the boy's heart with a sense of safety.

 

Damian nodded, he felt exhausted.

 

"Are you feeling better?"

 

A weak "Yes" left his mouth.

 

"Wanna take a nap or sleep?"

 

Damian was tired, he wanted have Richard close. Maybe he said that out loud as the older man carried him to his bed before laying down with the youngest. Damian scouted closer, already missing the warmth of his brother.

 

With all that he let himself drift to sleep, enjoying the low humming of Richard. His mind quiet down, no weird sensation in his body, nothing. Only a new kind of calm. He would sleep through the entire day, only waking up the next mornig.

 

Richard would had stay with him the whole time and maybe it was thanks to that, that he found himself finally getting some rest. That warmth he had been craving since he was a young child was finally here.

Chapter Text

Dick :

 

When Dick saw Damian having a panic attack yesterday he felt bad, he at first thought it was his fault because he had let his anger show but it was actually because the kid got his flashback triggered from something.

 

Damian had slept in his arms the whole day and Dick stayed. Even when his body started to feel numb, the only few times he left was to use the bathroom and grabbing some food for himself.

 

The youngest had show no sign of any discomfort. When he finally woke up, the older man had fell alseep. The kid moved in his hold, waking Dick up again. He was tired but Damian needded sommeone to be there. So he smiled and they both got out of bed after a cuddling session.

 

The kid ate, making Dick relieved about the youngest's health. Their day had been fine, Damian had helped him with cooking and they cleaned the whole apartment together. Even smiling when Dick made a stupid joke.

 

That also had allow relief to flood through his body, if Damian was able to smile, it means he at least was out of that dissiociative state the youngest had been stuck in for a few days now.

 

And everything was normal until they had to go to sleep. They took turn for their shower and then they both went to sleep. He made sure the boy was comfortable before finally heading to his bed.

 

He was finally going to be able to sleep. Or that was the plan. In his sleep he felt a presence next to him, setting his body and mind on alert, as he took in count his surrounding he could hear some little sobs.

 

Damian... Dick sat up, the youngest was right infront of him, holding his pillow in his arms, crying and shaking.

 

"Hey, Dami. What's wrong?"

 

"Nightmare." The kid sobbed.

 

"Aw come here." Dick shushed the boy gently, before moving himself to make some space for the youngest. Damian laid down putting his pillow right next to the older man's one.

 

"I know it is stupid but I don't want to be alone." Damian whispered.

 

"Then stay with me sweetheart."

 

"I do- don't want to be... Touch."

 

Dick made sure to keep his arms away from the kid, backing up a bit from Damian. "Is it good like that?"

 

The youngest nodded. "Thank you."

 

"No need to thanks me, is the bare minimum I can do for you Dami."

 

Damian let out a shaky exhale before taking deep breaths. "I had a nightmare." The kid stated. Looking up to stare into the older man's eyes.

 

Dick kept it shut, the kid needed space to open up.

 

"It wasn't pleasant."

 

The older man only nodded, showing that he was listening.

 

"It was a nightmare."

 

Dick tried to relax his expression, making it as reassuring as possible. He already had an idea about what Damian's bad dream had been about but he would let the youngest say it by himself. It seemed important for Damian to be able to talk about it by himself. Probably to prove to himself that the youngest was strong. Even if Dick never doubted.

 

"I know it wasn't real. This time."

 

Dick tried not to wince, keeping his face open and relaxed.

 

"I saw him. It was-" Damian stopped, going back to taking deep breaths.

 

Dick did still not interrupt, Damian eyes still hadn't look away from him. The older man was impressed by the braveness it took to say all this while looking directly into someone's eyes.

 

"The third time." Damian stopped again. "The third time, he- forced. Me."

 

Dick suddenly felt like he was struggling to breath but he had to be strong for Damian.

 

"To- to swallow." Tears were gathering into the young boy's eyes.

 

The older man felt like his world got crashed down. He immediately understood what Damian had been forced to and the idea was twisting his insides painfully. The kid said the third time, not the last, there had been more.

 

"It was- it was disguting. The taste. It. Stayed for days. I- I couldn't. I couldn't do any- anything about it."

 

Dick felt the tears coming at the corner of his eyes. Both him and Damian were still looking at each other. The youngest was the strongest kid he knew.

 

"If. My teeths. He- When. I... Wasn't doing it. Correctly. He would. His-" Damian's breaths were shaky.

 

Dick softened his gaze, showing all the love and admiration he felt right now. The kid did still not look away, even if a single tear slided down his cheek.

 

"His feet. It hurt. When- It hurted a lot. When he. Pressed it. On me. In betwee-" Damian's voice broke at the end.

 

Dick silently nodded, he didn't need Damian to finish the sentence. He understood it but since the kid was so fucking brave he finished it anyway.

 

"In between my legs."

 

The older man took a deep breath. He felt his own tears running down his face. He didn't want to face the reality but he had too. For Damian. He would do everything for the youngest's sakes, he was going to support the younger with everything he had.

 

"I wish- It never happened. I know things. I don't want to know. I know taste, I don't want to know." Damian continued.

 

If only Dick would had noticed, if only someone listened to Damian, he should had known better. He should have asked more questions. He could have stop all that, make sure Damian never know that pain.

 

Dick wanted to hug the youngest, he wanted to close that distance between them but that wasn't what Damian needed. The kid needed space and boundaries.

 

"Richard. Can you make it stop?"

 

"I can't." Dick's voice broke as his heart did but it was the truth, he couldn't make it stop. It wasn't something physically possible. The older man wished he could take all the pain Damian felt and place it on himself but that wasn't possible. He wanted to apologies but knew Damian wouldn't like it so he silently said it to himself.

 

"You-" Damian fighted back a sob. "You were the only one. Who- who saw that I was different. When you came. No one did. Not even Father. I should have told you. I know you would have protect me but I- I was scared to disappoint you."

 

"Damian-" Dick heard a loud sob leave his own mouth. But he continued even if his voice was breaking at every words. "Never, I would be disappointed in you. I should have been there, I should have known."

 

"Richard how?" Damian's voice also broke. "I never speak, I don't express myself well. I am a complicated child how could you have known- that it wasn't one of my usual childish outburts."

 

"Don't say that Dami, you are amazing. You struggling with your emotions isn't an excuse for us not noticing anything"

 

"I'm sorry for not speaking up. I should had been better, I am not a child anymore."

 

"Dami, please. Don't ever excuse yourself for this. It isn't your fault. You tried, I'm sure you tried and it is so complicated to speak up about those things. Don't apologies for being a child, Damian. You can't know everything. You are still learning everyday and not knowing isn't a crime. Being a child isn't a weakness."

 

"Please don't leave Richard, please. I don't know what I can do without you." Damian cried out.

 

That was the first time Damian openely showed how much he cared for Dick and that alone was enough for the older man to broke at the realisation at how much he cared for that child.

 

"Oh my love."

 

The youngest, moved closer to Dick, throwing himself on the older man. The boy placed his head above Dick's heart, that is something the kid did since he had allow his brother to show physical contacts.

 

When Dick was sick, the younger boy had for habit to listen to his heartbeat, probably as a proof that Dick was still alive. That boy was too precious.

 

Damian cried loudly on him, the older man gently placed one hand in the kid's hair, softly stroking them. Dick tried to make his touch the less overwhelming possible.

 

"I love you so much Dami, never doubt it. You are the most amazing kid."

 

Damian nodded, gripping tightly onto Dick's shirt. They both cried, silently comforting each other, silently showing that they were there for one another. They didn't need to speak any words. Their embrace was enough.

 

After a while, the youngest's sobs calmed down, turning into little hitch of breaths. The grip on Dick's shirt relaxed, as did the boy body. The older man made sure that Damian was asleep before at his turn closing his eyes and letting the boy's weight on him, help him to sleep.

 

That night they would stay close, Damian's head would never Dick's heart. The older man's hand would protectively stay into the youngest's hair. They would sleep until late morning, enjoying the well deserved rest they both needed.

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

When Damian opened his eyes again, the sun was already up. He settled his face back down to protect himself from the light, hidding against Richard's chest. His eyes felt dry, his throat was also dry and painful.

 

His brother moved below him. "Morning Damian."

 

"Good morning Richard."

 

"Slept well?"

 

"Yes, thank you."

 

Richard smiled down at him. "I'm glad then. I slept well too, you are the best pillow ever Dami."

 

Damian rolled his eyes, hearing the older man chuchkled at that. The youngest felt himself getting hungry.

 

"I will make breakfast for us." The boy stated. He won't let Richard refuse his offer.

 

"Alright, I'll go take a shower and be here."

 

Damian watched his brother leave before at his turn getting out of bed. He had made sure that Richard fridge looked more like an actual fridge. No more pre made food, the youngest had been trying to learn how to prepare meals but without too much success. He was better at baking and he did enjoy doing so.

 

Taking everything he needed took him a while, by the time he finally started, Richard was already back. He was on his phone, tapping a few times before bringing the phone to his ear.

 

The youngest did not pay attention more than that, it wasn't unusual but that was until he heard his father name coming from his brother mouth. The boy tensed, trying not to show it but he felt an ugly stress settling in his guts.

 

"Yes, B for the hundred times we are fine. We just slept later than usual." Richard sounded slightly annoyed.

 

Damian could not hear what Father was saying. His hands were shaking, he won't be able to bake like that. So he put everything down. He was now just pretending to be busy, not wanting to be noticed while his father could possibly hear him.

 

"I don't know Bruce."

 

Damian could feel his brother's gaze on his back, they were speaking about him.

 

"Dami, you wanna talk to your dad?"

 

At that moment his body frozed, he was unable to move or speak. He turned around, shaking his head strongly. He couldn't hear his father disappointment, he wasn't ready.

 

"Dames, B is really worried for you. Please you don't even need to speak, just listen to him?"

 

"No." His voice came out shakier than he intended to. "I don't need to hear his disappointment in me."

 

"Damian... Why do you think that? He won't be, he was so worried for you. I promise you, everything is going to be fine. If he even try to be mean to you, I'll take care of it yea? I'll stay near you."

 

The youngest didn't want but he knew he couldn't run away forever. So that is how he found himself accepting. His hands were sweaty, he was scared and anxious.

 

"Damian?" Father voice was neutral as always. Not showing anything, waiting to take in count the situation.

 

"Yes Father." Damian try to replicate the same tone his father used.

 

"How are you feeling?"

 

"I am doing well and you Father?"

 

"I... I am just worried for you. I hope you are feeling better with Dick."

 

"Grayson had only been good to me, you do not need to worry." Damian couldn't call Richard by his name, it would show how weak and soft he had became. But doing that he did not expect the flicker of hurt that passed through his brother's expression. He regretted it.

 

"I'm glad. I just want you to know that you are my son Damian, no matter what happen, nothing will change it."

 

Was that Father telling him to not get too close to Richard? He didn't wanted that but he couldn't go against his father's wish. He was better.

 

"Thank you Father." Damian felt his throat tighten, he needed to go away. He looked at Richard, silently asking for help. The older man nodded, relief floading Damian's body.

 

As soon as Richard grabbed the phone the youngest ran to his room, he felt weak and stupid but he needed to be alone. He let himself fall on his bed face first. trying to breath as calmly as possible into his pillow.

 

This did not work as tears made their way down his face. He felt scared, he didn't wanted to lose Richard, not again. He couldn't bare the thought to be taken away a second time. He had been pretending he was fine that him and the older man were not Robin and Batman anymore but deep down Damian missed it so much.

 

He respected his father, he care for him but Richard was different, he couldn't quit put a name on it. Richard just meant safety. When the older man was here, Damian knew he was home.

 

Father had promised him to never physically hurt Damian and he respected that promise. Father had been sometime gentle with the youngest. Damian was his son but it didn't felt like it.

 

All his life Damian had been told to be a weapon. His training was still haunting him until this day but he always refused to acknownledge it. He was the future of league, he could not be weak or scared. He had been train by the best mentor, been broke so much time and shaped into what they wanted him to be. He sometime felt like that with his father, the only difference was that Father did not hit him. And he wasn't so sure if it was better or worst.

 

When Mother used to correct him it was because he did something wrong, because he made a mistake. Pain was forcing him to be better, pain was keeping him alive. It burnt deeply under his skin but he was never allowed to scream, never allowed to show pain or his trainer would make it ten time worst.

 

Pain and violence were the only thing he knew until he was introduced to his Father. Batman did not kill but Damian did and maybe that is why his father couldn't love the youngest. That's why Damian had to be better, he had to prove that he was worthy to be call Robin, worthy to be Batman's partner.

 

When Father had been back, Damian showed him how much he could take, how long he could train and goes without sleeping or eating. But his father never approved of it. Saying that Damian should take more care of himself. But the youngest did not know what taking care meant.

 

In the league, taking care of himself was patching up his own wounds and not someone else. That was taking care because he didn't need to feel the harsh gesture of his doctor, he didn't need to hold back his tears as he was getting surgery without any kind of anestesia.

 

When he was doing it alone, he could cry and smooth his gesture as much as possible. When he was alone he did not need to pretend to be perfect. Training was taking care because training meant getting better at dodging knifes, getting better at making the injuries the less painful possible. Training was meaning getting less hurt.

 

Father was asking for the opposite but Damian did not know what else to do. Batman had been scolding him for killing, Batman had been scolding him for putting himself in danger.

 

Richard had done the same but it was different, it didn't felt like Damian was getting scold. Richard was explaining to him, the older man was giving him advice, showing the youngest what he needed to do.

 

Richard had accepted the way Damian trained but the older man often offered to stop the training because of his own limits. Not because what Damian was doing wrong. The youngest now knew how to not overdue to take care of Richard's health and deep down he also enjoyed that type of training better. It hurted less and he felt better in his performances.

 

With Richard he did not need to prove anything. The older man showed his affection for Damian as easily as he was breathing. At first, the youngest thought it was pathetic and weak but the first Robin showed him that love wasn't always a weakness, that it could be more of a strenght.

 

Damian needed Richard. At the begining he had been really mean and he still regret the words he said to the older man but now he could not live without him. Even if right now the older man asked him to not go out as Robin because the youngest needed rest. Damian accepted because it wasn't a punishment.

 

He heard his door open, footsteps following. The bed had a sudden weight added.

 

"Can I stroke your hair?" The older man asked.

 

The youngest nodded, keeping his face hidden. A hand was now gently caressing his temple before going into his hair, moving in a soothing gesture.

 

"Feeling too much?" Richard shifted, laying down on the bed at his turn.

 

Damian nodded again.

 

"You know he loves you right? He is just bad at showing it."

 

The youngest shook his head. Father did not love him anymore, the boy wasn't even sure if he ever did.

 

"Damian... He do. B, is just... Complicated to understand. He doesn't know how to show his emotions but Dami, he doesn't see you any less worthy."

 

"I'm dirty, I bring shame upon his name." Damian whispered.

 

"No, you are not dirty." Richard's voice was firm. "You do not bring shame to anyone. You are amazing just as you are. Bruce think the same."

 

Damian did still not believe it but nodded regardless, he did not want to fight with Richard. The youngest turned his head to look at the older man. His brother was laying on his side, facing Damian with a soft gaze.

 

"Wanna go to an animal shelter?"

 

This question took the boy by surprise.

 

"There is one not that far away from here. I thought I could take you there, you like animals no?"

 

"I- I do."

 

"Then it's settled we are going. Go get ready sweetheart, we are going in the afternoon."

 

Damian felt some kind of happiness fill in his chest, he was really excited. He loved animals, they were nice to be around. He did not need to put an act on, animals would just live their life without judging his.

 

When the youngest came back from his shower, Richard had already prepared the plates. They ate in silence. This made Damian feel at ease, the older man never pressured him to speak and let Damian came to him when needed.

 

After cleaning the dishes, Richard took him to the shelter. The road was peaceful, even while taking in count Damian exictment at the idea to be around animals. It was the first time he would be able to saw them, without having the need to hurt the pets.

 

When they arrived Richard greeted a woman he seemed to know. The youngest did not really hear her name as his eyes were already looking around. There was some cats walking around and rubbing themself against people legs.

 

Richard placed a hand on his shoulder. "You can go if you want. Just be careful, most of them have been rescued from abusing home, I know you won't hurt them but be mindful to not make fast or big movements."

 

Damian nodded, already planning his way to approach them. He spotted what looked like a mom with her kittens. He slowly walked toward them before starting to lower himself when he suddenly stopped. Was he allowed to do this?

 

He slowly turned to Richard that was watching him. The older man gave a reassuring nod. That was all Damian needed to sit on the ground and wait.

 

One of the baby cat approached him slowly, the youngest remember seeing Richard showing his hand to let the pet smell them back when they had saved a cat as Batman and Robin.

 

So it's what he did, carefully extending his hand. The kitten hesitantly approached, moving his head all around Damian's hand. The youngest wanted to reach for it and pet it but knew it wasn't a good idea.

 

As he waited another one joined, following the same process as the previous kitten. After a while they both rubbed themself on the boy's hand. Damian felt a faint smile grow on his face. He carefully grabbed them before placing them on his laps.

 

He gently stroked their furr, enjoying the fluffy sensation under his hands. They were so small and fragile. A part of Damian's mind was scared to hurt them. He knew he could easily crushed them with his hands. He remember the way the bones of the ducks cracked under his hands, as he was crying infront of his mentor.

 

Trying the chase the thought away Damian took the smaller one in his hands. Slowly bringing the kitten up to place it on his shoulder. The youngest gently bring his cheeks against the baby cat.

 

It felt soothing. For the next few hours he would keep hugging the little kittens, as the time passed more came to him. All climbing over him at random places. One was on the top of his head taking a nap. One was hanging off his shoulder, weirdly comfortable enough to sleep. Two were playing on his laps and he still held one of the kittens in his hands.

 

Richard also joined him, having three kittens on him, playing with the older man's hands. They played around like that, no pressure or responsability needed. It was the them enjoying the moment.

 

But every good thing came to an end as they needed to get back home. They said goodbye to the lady as they exit the building. Damian felt happy and relaxed.

 

On their way back home the youngest fell asleep in the car and Richard only woke him up once they were home. Damian sleepily looked up at the older man, he didn't want to walk. He extended his arms toward Richard.

 

The youngest thought seeing a flicker of surprise on the older man face before getting picked up. Damian laid his his head on Richard's shoulder. The boy fell asleep again.

 

His older brother's embrace felt safe and comfortable, he wanted to stay here forever. Even if he was asleep, he could hear Richard singing. That was pleasant.

 

The older did not wake him up again, letting Damian get the sleep he needed. Richard stayed close to him the whole night, warmth never left his side. The youngest did not get any nightmares.

Chapter Text

Dick :

 

Dick was on the couch, watching Damian draw, not so far away from him. The youngest was sat at
the table, deeply focus on what he was doing. The kid had a whole bag with all his art supplies and all of them were from Dick.

 

When the older man first iniated the youngest to art, he did not expect Damian to draw amazingly and even the kid to love it to the point of drawing close to everyday.

 

But that was in the past, since the incident, Damian had stop drawing and today was the first time the youngest had started again. Dick liked to watch the kid draw because he looked so peaceful and comfortable.

 

The older man had the sudden urge to hug Damian. He stood up, careful to not startle the youngest. He made his way there before pulling a chair and sitting down. The boy, barely looked up, only acknownledging Dick and then focusing back on his drawing.

 

The drawing was a portrait of Dick at the shelter. The older man suddenly felt emotional, the boy's memory was amazing, the details on the little kittens were also impressing. Dick watched Damian as he added the shadow on his face.

 

That's when something caught his attention in the bag next to Damian. There was a sketchbook but it looked torn. Some of the pieces were spilling out of the book, the older man stood up, grabbing the sketchbook in the bag.

 

The youngest immediatly throw his pen away, grabbing quickly the book but it only ended in all the drawings falling on the ground. Both him and the youngest stared at it. A thousand questions were running in Dick's head.

 

Damian would never had damage his drawing like that; Who was it? The older man thought that it probably happened at the manor, Tim? But even if him and Damian were not getting along the teenager would never do that. He did not think Bruce being capable of doing that either.

 

"It's nothing." The youngest quickly replied before going down the ground and gathering everything. That's when Dick noticed it was various drawing of him or Bruce.

 

"What happened Dami?"

 

"At school, I wanted to gift it to you and Father for christmas but it got torn before that. But it is only paper. It is fine."

 

Dick felt a lump form in his throat. "Oh Damian, I'm sorry."

 

"It is nothing really. I should had been more careful. It's my fault for bringing them at school. I should had throw them directly after."

 

"No Damian... It isn't nothing. I'm sure you passed a lot of time on those drawings. It is normal if you feel sad." Dick sat back down, placing a reassuring hand on the youngest's shoulder.

 

"It is really nothing to be upset about. It's just paper."

 

"Hey, you know it isn't. I know this mean a lots to you." Dick tried to sound as gentle as possible.

 

"Stop it is not. It was a stupid idea. A waste of time."

 

"Damian, no it's amazing. It is an amazing gift. I'm honored you thought about me while making those. I'm sure we ca-"

 

The youngest cut him. "Throw them. They are damaged, not of any use anymore."

 

Dick shushed the boy gently. "They are still important. Damian they are yours. I'm sure you put a lot of effort in it. It's normal to be upset."

 

"Grayson it is just paper!"

 

Dick did not meant to but he flinched at the sudden use of his last name and the raise of Damian's voice. And he shouldn't had showed that because the boy immedietaly moved away from him, wide eyed.

 

"I'm sorry, I didn't to- I'm sorry Richard please you have to believe me."

 

Dick tried to approached the youngest but Damian backed off. "Hey, it's fine Dami, I know. I'm not mad. It's okay to be upset."

 

"But I shouldn't be."

 

The older man was hit with a sudden wave of sadness. The kid never allowed himself to feel anything while it was normal to be upset. He needed to teach Damian how it was normal to express emotions.

 

"Damian, you have the right to. Really. At least with me Dami, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to be upset. It is not just paper."

 

"But what is broken should be replaced."

 

Dick looked at the youngest confused, he knew the kid was now speaking about something else. "Why should it be replaced? We can always fix it?"

 

"No!" Damian sobbed, looking away from the older man. The youngest's breathing became heavy and uneven.

 

"Hey, Damian, I need you to breath with me. Can you explain to me why?"

 

Damian took a deep breath before speaking again, this time voice quiet. "Because it's what they did to me."

 

Dick wasn't even sure how it was possible to feel his heart break even more. What had they done to him. Damian was a child, how could they hurt a child?

 

"Damian..." Dick was at loss of words.

 

"Whenever- I did broke a bone, if-if I couldn't bare the pain they would... Put me somewhere. It was da-dark and no one was here, I was alone. I was weak and I don't know for how long I would stay. The- No food- no water. Nothing," Damian turned to him, tears sliding down his face.

 

Dick sat down on the ground, waiting for the youngest to join him if needed.

 

"I was scared but I couldn't be. I learnt how to not be weak. I can't be broken, I couldn't be. They would replace me, they never kept something broken. They never fixed me!" The youngest had moved to the older man's laps.

 

"Shh, you can cry sweetheart, I got you. No one will ever hurt you again like that, I will make sure of it. If you hurt yourself I would help you to treat yourself, promise me you will come to me and not bear it alone. Promise me Damian please, you are not an object to be replaced." Dick cried.

 

The little boy on his laps moved impossibly closer, hugging the older man like his life depended on it. "Please don't leave me alone, I would be better."

 

"Damian, sweetheart. I will never leave you alone. You are so precious to me."

 

The youngest only sobbed harder. tightly clinging to the older man. Damian was his to protect, Dick was ready to do so much things for that boy. The kid deserved so much love and care. Damian choked on his tears, nearly throwing up.

 

"Shh, I'm here just let it go." Dick soothed his hand in the youngest's hair, holding Damian close. His shirt was wet with tears and probably other things but he did not care. He felt so thanksful that the boy trusted him enough to cry and be vunerable like that infront of him.

 

The cries went on for a good hour, Damian was starting to cough at his dry throat. Dick gathered Damian in his arms, making sure he was secured before standing up and walking to the fridge to grab water.

 

He slowly offered the glass to the youngest's lips, helping him to carry the weight of it before kissing the top of his head. When Damian finished drinking, he weakly pushed at the glass, resting his head back on Dick's shoulder.

 

All that mess took most of their afternoon. The older man was about to ask if Damian wanted to eat when the youngest spoke first.

 

"I want to go sleep. I'm not hungry, please Richard."

 

Dick pressed the boy's head closer to his neck. "Alright sweetheart, if you are hungry in the middle of the night just come find me."

 

Damian weakly nodded against him. That was enough for the older man to head towad the boy's room. He gently laid the boy in his bed, bringing the cover up. Dick grabbed a tissue, gently cleaning Damian's face.

 

He then kiss the youngest's temple. Damian barely opened his eyes, whispering a "Thank you" before falling asleep. Dick wished the boy goodnight before carefully closing the door and heading to kitchen to eat something quickly.

 

As he was eating he checked his phone, he search for Jason's contact. It had been quite a while since their "fight". Jason did not text him nor call him. Dick was starting to get worried. He was also hesitating. Was it fine to text the younger man right now?

 

Well he did anyway, sending a "Hi, you free to call ?" And in all honesty he did not expect a direct answer from Jason five second later that said "Yes"

 

Dick quickly rushed to his room pushing the door behind him before pressing the call button. Jason answered immediately.

 

"Hi?" Dick did not meant for it to sound like a question.

 

"Yes it's hi, indeed." Jason sarcastic answer came in.

 

Dick rolled his eyes. "Thanks for helping me with english. I still struggle you know."

 

"Glad to be the smarter one here."

 

"Eh, I am the smarter one here." Dick replied, sounding fakely hurt.

 

"Yes, sure, someone that chose his books just because of the cover and someone that think that his damn discowing suits was a good idea, is the smart one. And don't even get me started on the first version of the Robin suit." Jason was clearly smiling.

 

"Are you critisizing my amazing fashion taste?" Okay, yes Dick admited that his first ever suit had been a bad choice but eh he was young and in need of showing to Bruce he was in charge of his life.

 

"I would never dare."

 

Dick hummed sceptically. "You doing fine Jay?"

 

"Well, as good as it could go when you are me."

 

Dick gave a dry laugh.

 

"How is the brat?" Jason surprisingly asked.

 

"He is struggling but he isn't giving up either. I put him to sleep before calling you. We had a rather heavy conversation, so he was exhausted."

 

"Hey Dick."

 

"Yes?" The older man replied confused.

 

"You sound shitty. You should relax Goldie cause you doing amazing with that kid."

 

Dick was speechless, he did not expect those words and even less coming from Jason. He again felt the tears building at the corner of his eyes. "Th-thanks."

 

"I also wanna say, that I'm sort of sorry for acting like I did last time. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that."

 

Dick laid down further in his bed. "It's fine, it was my fault, should had speak about it earlier."

 

"Shut up man. I'm trying to apologies and you ruining it by being your stupid "I'm always guilty" self. Gosh, you didn't anything wrong by hidding a litteral trauma."

 

The older man laughed wetly, Jason being kind to Dick was something new. I mean maybe not, Jason didn't tried to kill him, so it wasn't new just different.

 

"Thanks Jay." After that there was a blank, no one wanted to adress the elephant in the room.

 

In truth, Dick did still not understand his feelings for Jason. It wasn't different from how he view the younger man before his death but could he call it love? He tried to think about them being more than brothers, kissing and more and everytime he stopped, not because he hated it , it wasn't that. It was more because of a weird shame.

 

He wasn't so sure, was it guilt? Or something else? He also thought about how Bruce would see him. He did not want to deceive his dad. He deeply cared for Jason, it was a different from how he viewed Tim and Damian.

 

Jason sighed on the other hand. "We still not gonna talk about it?"

 

"I don't know, Jay. I really don't."

 

"What is bothering you?"

 

It was the older man's turn to sighed. "You are going to get mad if I tell you the reason."

 

"Tell me, I won't get mad."

 

Dick doubted that but they won't get anywhere if he doesn't speak. "Many things. We are supposed to be brothers, I view you as brother for so long and I'm not sure, I knew you when you were young. Okay you can say I'm not that much older but still, in my eyes it's... Complicated."

 

Jason stayed silent for a while before replying. "So it's cause you still view me as a kid?"

 

"Sort of."

 

"Well, would it help if I tell you that I touched myself to you way before you even started to acknowledge me."

 

"Jeez, Jason what the fuck. You were like ten when you joined Bruce, how? I-I didn't even start having those ideas until- doens't matter."

 

"Well, I- you know how I grew up in the street. I knew a lot about it already. And yea, you can't- you know, I knew something other kids like you did not know."

 

And oh fuck, Dick felt guilty for even asking that. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

 

"Hey, it's fine calm down. It's just how it is, no need to get all worked up."

 

"I- okay, if you say so."

 

"Anyway, back to my point. Don't even feel guilty about me being your supposed brother cause I never respected that. I mean I don't think little brother jerked off to the thought of their older one."

 

Dick had an really unwanted image coming to his mind. Jason doing things while thinking about Dick, it quickly change to the younger man moaning his name and the older man felt his face get hot from the idea, maybe not only his head.

 

He chased the image and feeling away. "I- I don't know. What would they think about us?"

 

"Lemme rephrase thatt for you Goldie, I think you got your own question wrong. What will Bruce think of you?"

 

Dick did immediatly apologies "I'm sorry."

 

"Ugh don't be, even if it's piss me off. I can't do shit about what you think and feel."

 

"I don't want to deceive him." Dick said voice small.

 

"Come on Dick, that man is caring about you more than anyone in this freaking family. You two have some serious unheathly relation by the way."

 

"I-I know." Dick was well aware that him and Bruce were... Well they were special. Since he had been young Dick had been really possessive of Bruce, too much. And it did not get better as he grew up.

 

Bruce wasn't as expressive on that but he knew, every subtle things that showed how his adoptive father cared too much, too protective. Whenever Dick did anything even slightly dangerous, his dad would get mad, which was actually worry but really badly expressed.

 

Dick never left, he couldn't. Even when Bruce treated him like shit, even when he was hurt. But it wasn't fair to say it was only him. Dick hadn't been the kindest either but his adoptive father always welcomed him with open arms.

 

They were keeping each other alive but also killing each other slowly. They would burn each but take care of those very same wounds together. And he would exchange this for nothing. So yea he was aware it was unheathly.

 

"Ugh, please Dick, it won't kill you to for once stop caring about Bruce's opinion."

 

Well it actually might kill him but it did not say that. "I'm sorry Jay, I can't."

 

"I'm wondering why the fuck I love you cause yes I fucking love you. Every fucking single day I think about you. Even seeing some blue remind me of your stupid ass."

 

Dick felt his throat tighten at the sudden confession, those words made everything too real, it couldn't be. Jason must misunderstood his own feelings.

 

"Jay... You can't, why me?"

 

"Realy, do I now need to embarrass myself at how borderline crazy my silly crush is?"

 

"I just want to undertsand."

 

Jason laughed. "You know how fucking magnetic you are? The worst is that I can't even tell you a reason, it's just cause you are you. Simple as that."

 

"You lying, Jay you can't love someone like me, I hurted you so badly."

 

"I'm gonna say one sentence and then hang up because I will probably regret for the rest of my life, so before I do that do you have anything else to add?"

 

"What?"

 

"Do you wanna add anything?" Jason insted.

 

"I... I'm sorry to make it hard to you. I really care for you Jason. I'm just so scared and everything feels so unreal."

 

"Good, you done?"

 

"Uh I- yes?"

 

Jason cleared his throat. "I can't believe I'm fucking doing this. I'm gonna jumped out of the window after. Kidding by the way don't panic. Anyway, well, uhm. I am in love with you Dick Grayson."

 

And as promised Jason hang up, Dick just frozed there, slowly letting the words sink into his mind. A weird feeling ran through his body. He felt suddenly hot and shy. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths.

 

His heart was beating like crazy. Oh gosh, he indeed did not only feel brotherly love for Jason but how could he accept it. He couldn't it was wrong no? He wanted to cry and yell but his little existential crisis got interrupted as a little head entered his room.

 

"What is your relationship with Todd." Damian asked, as if Dick didn't already wanted to hang himself.

 

"Not the time Dami."

 

"I knew something was up with him and you. The way he looked at you was strange. Are you two secretly dating?"

 

"No Damian, we are not."

 

"But you love him and he loves you no?"

 

"I- it's complicated."

 

"Why?"

 

"I don't think you can really understand Damian."

 

"It doesn't look like you understand it either."

 

"Ugh, Damian." Dick was frustated, he just wanted to have his little crisis alone, not with a stubborn kid that ask too much questions

 

"Tell me I'm wrong Richard."

 

"You- Yea okay."

 

"Explain to me, what is the matter between you and Todd."

 

"Like maybe the fact that we are brothers? It's not shocking you? Am I really the only one to be bothered by that?!" Dick voice was way too high, he was definetely going crazy.

 

"It is a bit strange yes but in this family I think I have seen worst. You and Todd do not share any bloods."

 

"But what would people think? What would Bruce think?!"

 

"Richard, you always told me to not care for people's opinions. And for Father I am unable to preddict his reaction."

 

"Ugh I don't know. I was- I knew Jason when he was young, isn't it weird?"

 

"I don't think so, you only started to saw him differenly when he was older. That is special indeed but again not the oddest things. And I thought I heard that you two weren't really getting along. And Todd is not that much younger than you Richard."

 

"But you what do you think about it Damian?"

 

"Truthfully?"

 

Dick nodded at that.

 

"Well I think that Todd is undeserving to be your partner and you deserve so much better but if it's makes you happy I can accept it. "

 

Dick laughed, a bit too loud and a bit too much for the situation but gosh he needed it. "I, maybe you are right. Thanks Damian" And he laughed louder at the fact that the eleven years old boy had been the one giving him advice.

 

"Your mental state is worrying me sometime Richard."

 

"Wanna sleep here with me tonight Dames?"

 

"Tt, it would be irresponsible to let you alone in that state, I would accept. But before I am hungry and you promised to make me food."

 

'Sure."

 

And with that Dick helped Damian with food before heading back to bed and cuddling with the youngest. His sleep would be peaceful and maybe he started to accept that he viewed Jason differently. Just maybe.

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

Damian blinked his eyes open, sitting up on the bed before remembering that Richard was next to him. The older man was still asleep, even breaths coming out of his mouth.

 

The youngest took this opportunity to go shower and get ready for the day. He also wanted to prepare breakfast for them but noticed that everything was close to empty. He needed to tell his brother about all that.

 

He slowly entered back Richard's room because, yes, he apparently slept there. Damian carefully called the older man's name.

 

Richard woke up, eyes immediatly seaching Damian's one. "You okay?"

 

"Yes, I just want to inform you that there is no more food left." After thinking a bit maybe waking up the older man just for that wasn't the best idea.

 

"Oh, alright. I'll go to the groceries, lemme just-"

 

"It is fine Richard, you do not have to hurry yourself. I shouldn't have wake you up just for that."

 

"It's fine, you are hungry, no? The minimum I should do is providing you food. Do you wanna come with me?"

 

Damian shook his head, he did not feel like going out.

 

"Alright, lemme go prepare myself." Richard kissed the top of his head before leaving.

 

Damian went back into the living room but first by passing in his room to grab his art supplies. He felt like drawing and Richard birthday was soon, so he wanted to make a proper drawing this time.

 

He had plan to draw a lot of little sketches, sadly he only had big drawing papers left. It's fine he would just need to use a scissor, annoying but fine. As he was gathering everything the older man was back and ready to leave.

 

"Richard, can you also buy me some canvas, small ones. I already used most of them."

 

A positive answer cameback before he heard the front door open and close. He now had all the place to focus without needing to watch out that Richard wasn't seeing what was supposed to be a surprise gift.

 

Damian was focused on outlining correctly Richard's face when he suddenly got hit with an unwanted image of the older boy, back in those bathroom. He put the pen down, trying to calm down his racing heart.

 

He was safe and home. Even knowing this it did nothing to help, his heart started to feel heavy and strange. The time felt slower around him. Something wet went down his face. Was he crying?

 

He placed a hand on his chest at a sudden sensation, his heart was too painful and he could not stop the tears from slidding down. He shouldn't cry but everything felt too much he needed to make it stop. He needed anything. He should called Richard, the older man would know what to do.

 

As Damian was about to go grab his phone, his eyes locked on the scissors infront of him. He shouldn't but too late his hands already grabbed it, he needed to stop the pain in his heart.

 

He pulled up his sleeves before giving a harsh line on his forearm, it wasn't deep enough, it did not hurt enough. He repeated the process, this time harder. Blood slowly started to spill down, he repeated the process again and again.

 

Every single time the blade cut his skin, even just for a second the pain in his chest stopped. The throbbing on his arm was taking over the stabbing in his heart. He did one more cut before throwing the scissors away.

 

There was blood on the ground and the table. He had dirtied everything, Richard was going to be mad. He couldn't, he needed to clean. He tried to stand up to go grab tissues but he slipped miserably on his own blood. His wounded arm came in contact with the corner of the table, sending a jolt of pain through his body.

 

It hurted a lot but he needed it, it was helping. His heart was less painful, or was it? He couldn't tell, the throbbing in his arm was taking most of his thoughts away and maybe that's why he did not notice Richard opening the door and rushing to Damian's side.

 

Damian's mind disconnected only focusing on the pain and knowing he was going to get punished for the mess he made.

 

Dick :

 

Dick had finally bought everything and after waiting forever because someone infront of him decided to be annoying, he was now finally on his way back. He made sure to buy what Damian asked him. The older man was feeling happy, Damian seemed to start getting better.

 

Or well he thought so, when he opened the door and call the youngest's name, what came out was sobs and this worried Dick and he wasn't prepared for the bloody mess that was his living room. He let all the bags fall on the ground, rushing to the youngest's side.

 

He did not notice Damian at first, it's only when he followed the blood that seemed to start near the table that he spotted the youngest on the ground behind the kitchen's counter.

 

"Damian?" Dick was worried, did the kid fell and hurt himself? And no, it wasn't... Damian's arm was bleeding, the older man could clearly see some clean cut, too clean to be an accident. He turned around, quickly trying to find what had Damian used.

 

A bloody scisscors was randomely placed on the table. Oh no, not his baby. He quickly rushed to grab the first aid kit before coming back to the youngest. He sat down on the ground not caring that his clothes were now dirty.

 

"Hey, Damian it's me. Can you hear me. I need you to breath." Dick quickly look over for any other injuries, there was none. Lots of blood but nothing too serious. He tried to repeat to himself that Damian was safe now, it was cuts they had get worst.

 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The youngest kept repeating but little did he know that Dick was everything except upset.

 

"Shh, it's fine, you are not in trouble. We are just going to clear those wounds and patch them up." Dick said softly before starting to apply pressure on the wound with a clean clothe he took on the way. Damian was shaking strongly, breath uneven.

 

"Damian, do you have any others injuries? Do you feel dizzy?"

 

The youngest shook his head. "I'm fine."

 

The older man kept the pressure for a while, making sure the bleeding stopped. Once this was safe, he then started to clean the wounds delicately. That was the hardest part, seeing every single lines in the boy's arms. There wasn't only one cut, Dick could at least counted seven.

 

He then grabbed some bandage carefully wrapping them on Damian's wounds.

 

"Damian what happened?" Dick asked gently and he wasn't so sure why did it suddenly made Damian mad.

 

"Don't touch me! I'm fine."

 

"Dami-"

 

"Leave me alone! You didn't have to help!" The youngest voice broke at the last sentence. Damian was trying to get away and Dick made the mistake to grab his arm, he knew he shouldn't have but he had been worried for Damian's health.

 

"Damian please sit down." He pleaded

 

"No. Let go off my arm. Let me go!"

 

Dick let go. "Damian, please you need to sit do-"

 

The youngest ran to his room, not listening to the older man. Dick flinched when Damian slammed his door before locking it. He sighed, trying not to feel mad at the younger boy's reaction.

 

He did not understand why Bruce was getting angry everytime Dick slammed the door when he had been mad when he was younger. Well now he felt sorry for his adoptive father because it indeed was extremely annoying.

 

Now he also tried to understand what made Damian's outburst start. Everything started when Dick asked what happened and well he wasn't so sure how is that triggering. Had his tone not been as gentle as he thought? Something made the boy overwhelmed, that's all he knew.

 

He sighed, getting up to go clean the mess. He would let Damian sometime, he knew the youngest liked to be alone when he felt too much There was a bit of blood everywhere and ugh blood was annoying to clean.

 

He got to work, gathering everything he needed. After a good thirty minutes of struggle he put everything down, when he heard the youngest's door opened.

 

Damian hesitantly walked into the living room, not looking up. "I am here to apologies for my behavior. That was childish and unnecessary. I would accept any sanction, even if it's going back to the manor." He could hear still hear the little sobs of the youngest.

 

Dick approached the boy before kneeling infront of him. "Hey, look at me."

 

The youngest obeyed. Teary eyes staring at him.

 

"I appreciate your apology but you do not have to say sorry for feeling too much."

 

"I slammed the door while I was fully aware you did not like loud noise like that." Damian answered with a small voice before looking down again.

 

"Well then I only take your apology on that." Dick smiled softly. The older man bring a hand to the youngest's cheek, wiping the tears away.

 

"And Dami, I would never send you back to the manor as a punishment."

 

The youngest nodded.

 

Dick tried to open the subject again. What made Damian hurt himself? "What happened Damian? What made you want to do this?"

 

The youngest did still not look up at him. "Nothing."

 

"Damian, you and I both know it is not true."

 

"..."

 

Dick sighed internally. "Was it because you felt too much?" The older man clearly remember the youngest clenching at his heart, as if it was painful. A gesture Dick was well too familiar with.

 

Damian nodded.

 

"Do you understand that it shouldn't be a solution? Or do you think it is the normal thing to do?"

 

"It never happened before. I don't know why I did it, I should be stronger than this."

 

Dick was conflicted, a part of him wanted to scold Damian but he knew it was just because he had been extremely worried and that being mad at the kid for this would only make it worst. He needed to be reassuring and understanding. It's what younger Dick wished Bruce would had done with him. But that was a story for later.

 

"You aren't weak, you were just having a panic attack. It can happen. We just now need to make sure it was the first and last time."

 

"Don't lock me up please. I don't want to be alone."

 

"Wh-what? No Damian, gosh I would never. I meant speaking about it or you coming to me or calling me everytime you feel like you want to do it, we can even search for a therapist."

 

"I do not need a therapist." Damian glared at him.

 

"Alright, no therapist."

 

"You are too kind with me, I don't deserve it."

 

"You do Damian."

 

"No!" The youngest whined.

 

Dick asked himself why was it such a big deal for Damian to get help or receive kindness. He still decided to try to ask for a hug, he needed to feel his kid close and alive. "Can I hug you sweetheart?"

 

Damian let himself fall into the older man's arms, sobbing as he did.

 

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm not leaving anywhere. I would always be here. You deserve so much love and care Damian, I promise you."

 

"I don't." Damian replied coldly.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I'm better than this, They trained me for this. I deserve to be hurt, being hurt was because they love me! They loved me! She loved me! You are lying!" Damian was nearly screaming in his ears but that was the least of Dick's problems.

 

Damian had been mad earlier because Dick had helped him, not because he had asked what happened. The youngest always refused anestesia when he had been injured on patrol and needed to be taken care of.

 

All this was because it had been giving him a purpose to the torture he had lived. The boy could not accept that all this wasn't supposed to happen, that all this wasn't fair. Damian only lived with pain and intense trainings. That was the way he thought being love meant.

 

"I'm sorry sweetheart." Dick felt like crying when a piercing cry came out of Damian's mouth. The boy was sobbing uncontrollably in his arms, the older man gathered the youngest closer.

 

"Richard, please! Make it stop! Please! It hurt!"

 

Dick was lost, he could only hold Damian closer. His heart was painful, his throat tight. He did not know what to say to ease his kid's aching heart.

 

The youngest reach for his wounded arm, pulling the bandage out but Dick stopped him. "Damian, shh. Don't do this."

 

"Please, please. My heart, it hurt please. I need something else."

 

Dick reluctantly held Damian's hands together, blocking the kid from hurting himself more. "I'm sorry Damian, I can't let you hurt yourself sweetheart."

 

The youngest cried louder. Begging and screaming but Dick was useless here. He could only held Damian but that wasn't enough. He wanted to take the youngest's pain away.

 

"I-I don't want Father to hate me. Why does he hate me? Why doesn't he look at me the same way, he look at you all?!" Damian whined.

 

"Bruce love you Damian. He loves you goddamn much."

 

"But his eyes."

 

Dick was not sure to understand what Damian meant. "What's wrong with it."

 

"When he stare at me, he- he look upset."

 

"It's just his usual face Dami, I promise you Bruce is not upset at you."

 

"You don't understand!" Damian suddenly yelled, pushing himself away from Dick's embrace but not going really far as the older man was still holding his wrists. "When he looks at you, he is fine but when it's me it isn't. He chose all of you while m-me, he had no choice."

 

Oh Damian meant... Dick thought the youngest wasn't aware of it. "Damian hey, it doesn't mean he does not love you."

 

"I don't want him to throw me back there. I don't want to go back with them, I need Father to love me. I need him to find me worthy of something, I don't want to go back!"

 

"Sweetheart no one is going to send you back there."

 

"I'm here for training, they would take me back. I can't, I cant! I shouldn't had care for any of you but I did and I won't be able to go back. I'm too weak now to support it!"

 

"Damian everyone here is ready to fight to keep you with us. You are safe. Bruce would never let you go back there. Never." Dick soothed, slowly bringing the boy back in a hug.

 

Damian let himself be moved, still crying loudly. Dick stroked his hair, humming a song he knew soothed the youngest. And it work as cries slowly turned into little sobs before becoming hiccup breath. The boy relaxed in his arms.

 

The older man let go of Damian's wrists, carefully moving the wounded arm into his view. The bandage had been moved a bit and a wound had seem to bleed a bit but now it looked fine, just a little change and it would be good.

 

They both took some deep breaths while hugging each other tighter. "I don't know why I'm like this." Damian whispered.

 

"Like what?"

 

"I'm not supposed to cry."

 

"You can Dami. With me you can."

 

Damian nodded. "I'm sorry for ruining the bandage."

 

Dick chuckled. "It's fine sweetheart, nothing we can't change."

 

The older man stood up, placing the youngest on the kitchen counter before busying himself with changing the bandage and cleaning the wounds.

 

"Wanna show me what you wanted to cook or you want to talk some more?"

 

"Cook." Damian's immediate answer came.

 

Dick nodded before bringing the groceries. The youngest helped him to tidy everything before getting to work. This activity would take them most of the afternoon. At night they would watch a movie together and eat the dish they prepared. The youngest would also ask him to sleep together, to which Dick would gladly accept.

 

Once in bed Damian would snuggle closer before quickly falling asleep with his ear perfectly centered against Dick's heart. That put a smile on the older man's face that quickly fell asleep after that. Reassured that Damian was safe here with him.

Chapter Text

Dick :

 

It had been a few days since Damian's outburst. Dick had made sure to clean the wounds and change the bandage daily. He still hadn't inform Bruce about it, thinking that the youngest probably did not want his dad to know.

 

Only problem was that Dick was starting to be a bit lost as what to do and yes, Bruce had been bad on a lot of things but when Dick had been abused, his adoptive father had took care of him pretty well.

 

So that's how he ended up in his room, phone in hand and calling Bruce. As always the man was quick to reply.

 

"Hello, B." Dick tried to not show his worry but who was he kidding his dad knew him all too well.

 

"What's wrong Dick? You sound exhausted."

 

"Uhm well. Let's say there had been a little incident and I don't really know how to manage and since, you know, you already took care of me when- yea."

 

"What happened chum?" Bruce tone was now more gentle. Dick hated when his adoptive father only became gentle with him on that subject. (He just wanted his dad to be kind with him.)

 

But now wasn't the time, Dick felt his throat tighten at the memory of that morning. "Well, I had left to do some grocery and Damian had a panic attack and he hurted himself. He said a lot of things but I can't tell you everything because he trusted me with those informations but the thing is that I notice that he is acting like a child and before you say anything, Yes he is a child but it's Damian we talking about."

 

"Is he fine, hurted himself how?"

 

"Yes he is now fine, the wounds are healing well. I suspect with a scissors even if he hadn't been clear on that."

 

Bruce hummed before speaking again. "You are also saying Damian is showing signs of regression?"

 

"Yes and I need your help on that, please." Dick pleaded.

 

"Be patient, don't blame him for it, even if I highly doubt you will ever blame Damian for anything. Make sure he knows he is safe. I think you are already doing all that chum, you just need to be patient, you know how long it can take. And Damian is still young, taking in count how much he had been exposed to horrible acts, it is normal for him to act like that and I'm sure he is only doing it because his mind trust you enough to be vunerable."

 

"I'm scared Bruce, he- there is so much things. Like gosh, the league what they did to him. You need to have a talk with Damian. B, he needs you. He needs to know you care for him." Dick insited on the last part.

 

"I wish but he does not seem to be around me, it's better if he stays with you."

 

Dick sighed loudly. "He doesn't want to be with you because he think you are ashame of him! So you take him this weekend alright? I bring him there and you actually have a talk with your child." Yes he was mad, but come on Bruce was so blind it hurted just to look at it.

 

"I don't kn-"

 

"B, I'll shove a-" Dick took a deep breath, he shouldn't get mad. "You take him cause I said so. I'm gonna hang up, byye!" And he hang up, trying not to break his phone as he heard Bruce protest while doing so. When would people in this family stop being allergic to their emotions.

 

Now it was time to explain this to Damian. Okay, maybe he should had talk about it with the youngest before but sue him. He was done with everyone misunderstanding everyone. Dick was technically only pushing them a little to open up. (Maybe he was going to make everything worst but he prefer not to think about it. Staying positive!)

 

Dick walked back into the living only to find Damian sleepily walking out of his room while rubbing his eyes so damn adorably.

 

"Hi sweetheart, slept well?" The older made his voice as soft as possible.

 

Damian nodded, walking to Dick to get his daily hug. The older man could completly get used to the youngest acting like that. It was so cute and precious.

 

Well now come the time to ruin everything. "Dami can you come sit on the couch with me?"

 

So they did, Dick now took a deep breath before breaking the news. "So, I called with Bruce and I think that it could be good if you go back for the weekend to the manor. Just for two days, yea? I pick you up just after and we comeback here."

 

"No."

 

"Damian please, Bruce really want to speak to you and see you. He missed you." Okay he maybe projected a bit there but he is sure his dad indeed wanted to speak to the youngest.

 

"Really?" A spark of hope lighted in Damian's eyes. Gosh that kid was too precious.

 

"Yes, it would also be good for you two to clear any misunderstanding. So please Damian can we do this?"

 

"At only one condition Richard."

 

Dick nodded eargerly. He would do anything if it's meant Damian accept to go. He was ready to buy the weirdest thing the youngest needed. "Anything."

 

"You need to go speak to Todd and also clear those misunderstanding." Damian looked at him innocently but that damn smirk was clearly there.

 

Dick took back everything he said about Damian being cute, that boy was a little demon in disguise. He wanted to scream internally, how the hell was he supposed to speak to Jason?

 

He thought about it and then he found himself say "Okay, deal." because he had no choice if he wanted to make things better between Bruce and Damian.

 

"I am happy to hear such a positive response from you Grayson." The youngest smiled, a genuine smile that warmed Dick's heart. Okay he wasn't mad anymore.

 

"All my pleasure." The older man replied sarcastically.

 

After that they hang out most of the afternoon, Damian tried to teach Dick how to draw (it absolutely did not turning into a disaster where Damian is cursing Dick for how bad he is.)

For the first time in a while Dick helped Damian to train and learn some new move. The youngest let him patrol that night, also accepting when the older man asked him to stay at home because Dick was still worried for letting Damian go out as Robin.

 

They settled on letting the youngest go out as Robin again once they were back from the manor. Dick looked foward to it, he had missed patrolling with Damian. He saw that the youngest also had miss that.

 

That night the older man only patrol for one hour and half before coming back slightly worried, only to find the boy asleep in his bed. Dick pressed a kiss to Damian's temple before heading to his room. He fell asleep quickly, happy that Damian was safe.

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

Damian woke up anxious, it was today that Richard was going to drive him back to Father. The youngest knew it was only for the weekend but he couldn't help but to be worried. His father wanted to see him, he had to be perfect to even hope to be back into his life.

 

Richard had sense the youngest's anxiety, which had led to an annoying overprotective treatments. That start from not letting Damian do anything and asking too much questions about how the youngest felt.

 

"Richard, I am fine. I can manage to eat by myself." Damian felt the blush creep to his face as the older man tried to feed him. He wasn't a baby, he could eat alone perfectly fine.

 

"You sure? I don't mi-"

 

"Richard." Damian glared, that was becoming ridiculous.

 

"Alright, alright here." Richard handed him the fork. That was as much peace as the youngest could get. His brother was now staring at him. Damian sighed, there was no point fighting more.

 

The morning went rather fast after that. Richard had been helping him to pack everything. The stress did not leave and he strongly wanted to just lock himself up and never come out again but he had a deal with Richard.

 

In all honesty he asked for his older brother to talk to Todd only because he thought the older man would refuse. So when Richard accepted, he felt stupid. It wasn't in his plan.

 

Now him and the older man were leaving the appartment. Richard placed a hand on the youngest's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 

"You got this Dami."

 

Damian nodded, he could do it. They entered the car and as soon as it started there was no coming back. He felt the panic settle in his chest. He won't show it, he was better than that.

 

"You doing alright there sweetheart?"

 

"Yes." The youngesr knew Richard did not believe him, it was unsettling to see how the older man could read him that easily. A part of him knew he should be careful. That it was dangerous, that he shouldn't let anyone get close.

 

"I'm here if you want to talk about something." Was all the older man offered, as always never pushing the younger boy's boundaries.

 

Damian did not talk, or he tried to. But after thirty minutes in silence, he found his mind bringing him to places he did not want to and thoughts he did not want to have.

 

"Are you sure Father won't be digusted to see me?" He asked unsure.

 

"I'm sure yes. Bruce would never feels like that toward you."

 

Damian did not quite believe it. How could his father still him as worthy when he had failed miserably. Most importantly how could Father care for him after seeing how humiliated the youngest had been in this video.

 

Damian wonder if his father have seen every single ones of them. Grandfather would had force him to watch it with him, making sure to whip the youngest at every singles mistakes.

 

He faintly wondered if Father would do the same. His thoughts got interupted as Richard announce to him, that they arrived. Damian forced himself to swallow against a dry throat. He forced his mind to quiet down, he had to look strong infront of Father.

 

Richard walked him toward the main entrance before kneeling down infront of him. The older man pulled Damian into a hug, letting the youngest burry his head into his neck.

 

"You can do this Damian, one phone call and I'm here if you need me, I won't question anything, ask for help and I'll be here."

 

The youngest nodded before letting go. Richard squeezed his hand one last time before entering the manor. Damian felt a strange feeling, it had been a while since he had step inside. He spotted Drake, he had forgot that the teenager even lived there.

 

"Oh Damian." Drake spoke with surprise.

 

Damian glared, daring him to make any comments. The teenager only up his hands in surrounder before leaving. Odd.

 

"Master Dick, Master Damian." Pennyworth greeted them.

 

"Alfred!" Richard spoke before giving a hug to the butler.

 

Damian searched for any sign of his father, only to find none. He somehow wished Father would had been here to greet him. The youngest was fine, his father was busy man, it was undertsandable.

 

When he focused back on Richard, his brother was back at his side, giving him a soft smile. Why did it felt like his older brother knew the youngest's thought?

 

"Do you want me to wait with you?" Richard offered.

 

Damian shook his head. "I will go find Father alone, you have your own duty."

 

"Alright Dami, take care and call me if you need anything. I'll stay in Gotham the whole weekend."

 

The youngest nodded, watching his older brother leave, ignoring the tightening in his chest. He then turned to Pennyworth. "Where is Father?"

 

"Master Bruce is in his office."

 

"Thank you Pennyworth." With that Damian left. Heading upstairs, feeling his heart rate increase with each steps. When he finally saw the door of the office, he frozed. He couldn't knock.

 

His mind felt foggy, he isn't sure how long he stayed like that but when he was back, he knocked twice, hearing his father voice to tell him to come in.

 

"Oh Damian you are already here?"

 

"Yes Father." Damian stated, keeping his head and posture straight.

 

Father stood up walking toward him. The youngest did not move, was Father going to hit him? But none of that happened, his father sat down on the sofa in the corner of the room gesturing for Damian to join.

 

The younger boy sat on the other sofa infront of his father. He made sure to watch the way he held himself, controling his breathing.

 

Damian could clearly see the way his father was uncomfortable, of course he would be. The youngest had only been a weight and failure.

 

Father cleared his throat. "So how are you Damian."

 

"I am doing fine."

 

"Is living with Dick alright with you?"

 

"Yes, Grayson had been good to me." Damian felt the fear settle in his gut, was Father going to take away his right to live with Richard.

 

"I am glad." His father stared at Damian, making the youngest uncomfortable under the man's gaze. "I wish to talk with you about something."

 

Please not Richard, he had hidden the fact that he care for the older man. "Yes, I am listening."

 

"It's about the videos, I- that had been sent."

 

Oh, Damian's blood ran cold, the videos. He swallowed against the lump in his throat and kept an emotionless voice. " What about them?"

 

"Damian, how long had this been going on?"

 

"I-" He couldn't remember, something was missing? Why couldn't he remember? "I can not remember." He did remember one thing, it started the day Father took Robin away from him. "I only remember it was the day you took Robin from me because you rightly thought I was being disobedient."

 

His father made a choked sound, Damian immediatly looked up, not expecting that reaction. "Father are you alright?"

 

"I'm sorry son. I am truly sorry. I did not-"

 

"Father why aplogising? You only thought I was being rebellious and since I wasn't able to speak, it was your right to correct me."

 

The youngest could not bear his father apologising, Batman did not apologies, Batman was always right.

 

"Damian I should had try to understand why you were acting like that instead of- acting like did."

 

"You have nothing to regret Father, it was my own mistake. I am fine now you do not need to worry. I would do my best to not bring any more shame into your name."

 

"Damian what?" Father looked confused but that was the truth? Was it one of those things where the adult expected the child to explain exactly what he did wrong? His teacher did it a few times on him.

 

"I will be better. I was weak and stupid. I promise to clean our reputation." The words felt like poison on his tongue but if it's what it took for Father to accept him again, he would do anything.

 

But even that he failed, instead of seeing his father relax, his face turned into pure horror. Father wasn't someone that lose his compusure easily, what had Damian done?

 

"I'm sorry, Father."

 

"Damian, please son, listen to me. You are not bringing shame to anyone. I am so proud of you son. Really. You survived and everyday you keep fighting."

 

The youngest was speechless. Had Father said he was proud of him? For doing nothing? "What? I did nothing, why would you be proud of me Father?"

 

"Son, you are fighting everday. You choosing to keep living and going on with life after all the horrible things that happened to you is extremely brave. I couldn't be prouder."

 

Damian felt his throat tighten, he wanted to cry and he wasn't so sure why but he won't infront of Father. "I don't think I am deserving of that Father."

 

"You are Damian. I know I am not good at expressing it but I couldn't be happier to call you my son."

 

Father did not hate him? "Father you do not hate me?"

 

His father expression saddened. "Of course not Damian, I'm sorry I made you think that. "

 

That was a bit too much for the youngest to digest, his whole thoughts were wrong. But maybe his father was lying to not hurt him? No, Batman do not lie.

 

"But then why can't I get close to Grayson?"

 

Surprise was written on his father's face. "What?"

 

"When you asked me if I was okay living with Grayson and I said yes, you replied by saying that I should never forget that I was your son."

 

His father looked mad, had Damian went to far? He did not meant to disrespect anyone. He should had-

 

"Damian I did not meant that, it was just- I am so stupid sometime. I'm so sorry Damian, I only meant that no matter what happened I do not view you differently. I am really happy that you and Dick are getting along so well."

 

It wasn't normal, Father should not apologies. Had Damian understood everything wrong since the begining? Why couldn't he get even simple sentences?

 

"Not because of Grayson?"

 

"No, I promise." Father smiled softly, that wasn't something the youngest was used to receive from his father.

 

"But the videos?"

 

"I-I didn't watch them. I only saw a bit from when I opened it that day. I couldn't do this to you Damian and it wasn't something I wanted to see." Tears were gathering in his father eyes.

 

Relief flooded through Damian's body, it felt like he could breath again. Father had not seen the videos. He hadn't see how the youngest was pathetic on those.

 

"Thank you Father."

 

"This is nothing to thanks me for. I should be the one thanking you for accepting to see me again even after failing you badly."

 

"You did not fail me Father." Damian stated. It wasn't his father's fault. The youngest had been careless, nothing else. His father was already busy with many things.

 

"It is Damian, I am your parent, I should be protecting you and I failed, you got hurt. No sorry could erase how I hurted you."

 

"I am not mad Father. You accepted me even when I had blood on my hands, you forgave me for it, it is my turn to forgive you."

 

"Damian..." Father's voice was barely above a whisper. "You do not owe me anything, if you forgive me it is because you truly want it. Not because you need to pay me back son."

 

"I still forgive you." Damian insisted. He was never mad in the first place. It wasn't his father's fault.

 

"Thank you Damian." Father was clearly not trusting the younget's words.

 

"I would like to retreat to my room now." Damian felt too much, he needed to be alone. He needed Richard. Father's gaze felt heavy on him.

 

"Very well. I am here if you need anything Damian."

 

"Thank you Father." Damian left in hurry, Rushing to his room before closing the door. He picked up his phone, pressing Richard's contact. The older man replied after the first four rings.

 

"Yes Damian? You okay?" Richard sounded out of breath?

 

"I-I spoke with Father."

 

"Do I need to knock some sense into him?"

 

"No, he explained to me that he isn't ashame of me and that I do not need to distance myself from you."

 

"What? Why did you thought you needed to distance yourself from me?" There was some movements on Richard's side. As if the older man was sitting down.

 

"It was only a misunderstanding, it had been clear now, you do not need to worry Richard."

 

"Well I am glad Damian, do you need me to come pick you up? Or you just wanted to hear me."

 

Damian face redened "Tt, do not fool yourself, I only updated you on what happened."

 

Richard chuckled on the other side. "Alright Dami, do you need to inform me on anything else?"

 

"No, I say what I had to say."

 

"Alright, then take care Dami. I'll see you on sunday."

 

"Take care too Richard."

 

"Bye Dami."

 

Damian hang up after that. He headed toward his shower before heading down for dinner. Drake had been strangely silent throughout the whole dinner. Not once bickering anything at the youngest. Damian did not give much thought about it.

 

The youngest was too exhausted and headed to sleep directly after dinner. He kinda missed Richard. He would have a few nightmares, pulling up his phone everytime to stare at a picture of Richard but this he would never admit it to anyone.

 

Dick :

 

Dick had felt anxious about letting Damian at the manor but it was important for the kid. As promised to the youngest he was now heading toward Jason's appartment, he did not really want to. He still wasn't sure what he was going to say to his younger brother.

 

He would need to think about that later as he was now standing infront of the man's door. He knocked not giving himself any time to second thought this. He at least hoped Jason would be happy see him and that the younger man would welcome nicely. They needed to have a talk, it was important. Dick could do it.

Chapter Text

Jason :

 

Jason heard a knock on his door. He did not expect anyone. Grabbing his gun and making sure to hide it, he carefully opened the door. Only to find Dick... What the fuck? What was the man doing here?

 

"Hi Jay." The older man said awkwardly. Jason did not reply, only staring at Dick like the man was about to disappear.

 

"Uh, hi?"

 

"I just gave Damian to Bruce for the weekend so I thought that while I was here I could come see you."

 

Jason raised a brow.

 

"But if you don't wanna see me, I ca-"

 

"Shut up and come in." The younger man sneakily hidded his gun back before fully opening the door to Dick.

 

"Thanks Jay."

 

Now they were both standing there, in silent. Jason hated silence, mostly because of Bruce, it felt like as if he was getting judge.

 

"You want something to drink?" The younger man asked.

 

"N- Water please."

 

Jason rolled his eyes at Dick realising that it was just a way to initiate a conversation. "So why is the brat and you back in Gotham?"

 

"Just because Damian and Bruce need to talk. Like we not going anywhere if Damian doesn't understand that Bruce do not see him as a burden but that's easier said than done."

 

Jason scoffed, giving the glass of water to Dick before walking a few steps back and lean on the counter. "Good luck getting the old man to open his heart."

 

"I'm sure he will, I think I yelled enough at him." Dick laughed.

 

"I would have paid to see that."

 

"Believe me you don't, it wasn't pretty."

 

"Since when has something in this family been pretty."

 

Jason understandood his mistake when Dick grinned wickedly, he was so going to get that bad pun.

 

"Since you." The older man winked.

 

And Jason did not blush at all, nope. It wasn't like his hero just called him pretty. "Fuck you."

 

"You wished." The older man then started drinking like nothing happened.

 

Gosh what was going on with Dick, why was he flirting all of a sudden. The younger man wasn't going to let them win that easily. "Actually I would prefer the other way around." He said, trying to sound confident and hide his mind screaming how stupid that was. But it was true he wanted to get fuck by Dick since way too long.

 

It took a few second for Dick's brain to understand the information before making the older man spit his water. Jason's embarrassment was all worthy now.

 

"You fine there?" He mocked. Earning a glare from Dick.

 

"Yes."

 

It still did not calm his racing heart, why was Dick flirting with him? The older man had been avoiding everything that could be related to romantic gesture. So what changed now?

 

"Why you flirting all of a sudden? A few weeks back and you couldn't even stand near me without getting awkward."

 

Dick looked uncomfortable at the last sentence. "Sorry about that, I just-"

 

Jason waited for the end of the sentence that never came. He sigh, turning his back to stare at the wall, maybe he had hope for nothing. "It's fine, forget I asked, we can go back to just pretend everything is normal while you are clearly gross out." The younger man gave a dry laugh.

 

"No, I want to speak, we need to speak. I've been running away from that talk for too long."

 

"I'm listening."

 

"Okay, so. I am still conflicted about the fact that we are brother but before you start saying anything I do know that what I feel for you is more than brotherly love. I am aware, it just doesn't make it any less weird to accept for me."

 

Jason held his breath, he felt like even breathing could change Dick's mind.

 

"I am just worried about what people would think and yes more precisily Bruce." Dick took a deep breath, the younger man felt a gaze on him but he still did not turn.

 

"I am also worried for us, we- not that I doubt we could get along but it's just. We used to fight a lot or actually I was a bitch to you and I don't deserve to just comeback and take your love like nothing happened. Like Jay I want you to be happy but I don't know if I am the one that will make you happy. There is just so many things and I am scared to hurt you."

 

"You alreaddy did... And the worst is that I can't even be mad for that. You could stab me and I will make sure to clean the knife for you. I know it's not healthy but had we ever been healthy in any type of relation?" Jason finally dared to look at Dick. The older man's gaze was soft but conflicated.

 

"I don't think I deserve you if I have to be honest, like you are litterally holding this family together while I'm just the fuck up and the mistake. I'm not worried what people would think of us but I'm worried what people will make you think of me. Like Dick you are the only one seeing some good in me and there is obviously one day you gonna realise like the others that I'm not worthy."

 

Dick took a step closer to him. "Jay, that's not true. You are so precious, really. Don't speak so low of yourself, you deserve the world."

 

"Dick no one would want me to date you. They want what's better for you and I'm sure ain't."

 

The older man shook his head in disbelief but Jason was saying the truth. Bruce would probably want his golden child to date someone else than a murderer, all of Dick's friends are clearly not okay with Jason even if they don't say it out loud.

 

"Jay even Damian gave me his blessing, you wanna know something funny? It's because of him that I'm here today."

 

Jason brain had to restart for a second, Damian? The brat? That annoying spoiled child that look at him like a peasant encouraged Dick to come speak to him? Is he dreaming?

 

"What did he say? You must had misunderstood the brat."

 

"That he would accept you as long as it makes me happy."

 

Well that was a good start but it still did not mean that the kid liked him or was near supporting Jason. "Okay well you have that brat blessing but who else? I think that's the only one and it's only because he wanna see you happy."

 

"Come on I'm sure Bruce is more protective of you than me."

 

"You are so wrong on that Goldie, the old man would cut his own arm off if you asked him. Like you two really have some fuck up relationship." And Jason would stand that point, Bruce and Dick were the perfect exemple of unhealthy relationship born from hell itself.

 

Like the younger man wasn't the best in relationship and he thought he was a problem but seeing Bruce and Dick together were reminding him that maybe he wasn't that bad. He wouldn't judge tho, those two had litterally been through hell together and at the opposite of Jason, Dick stayed.

 

"It's not that bad." Dick insisted.

 

Jason just raised a brow and the older man sighed. "Okay maybe a bit."

 

"Well now what are you gonna do since your daddy would never approve of me?" Yes Jason was petty but did he care? Absolutely not.

 

"I don't know..."

 

And at that exact moment the younger man's heart did something extremely painful. "It's fine."

 

"No wait Jay!"

 

"Dick listen. I am done, Bruce this, Bruce that. It's always about him and never about me or you. It's OUR relationship not his. You do what you want you are a freaking adult, hell you're even older than me so why do you still care about his opinion?!"

 

"It's complicated Ja-"

 

"You always say that! But never actually tell me why. What is so special about him? He fucking su- Ugh nevermind. You gonna start crying again if I insult him." Jason knew he was hitting low. It wasn't healthy but he needed to hurt Dick, it was stronger than him, he needed to see if the older man was going to stay or leave. It didn't miss a flicker of hurt crossed the first Robin's face.

 

"I, care, for him more than you could ever fucking imagine. I am deeply sorry that you two refuse to talk and that you have a shit relationship with him but do not take it on me. I am so happy for you that Bruce's opinion is none of your matter but me." Dick voice broke but he kept speaking regarldess, glaring at Jason with too much intensity.

 

"I care about what he think, maybe too much but being aware of it won't change how I feel. It's unhealthy? Well I do not fucking care because it is how him and I work and I would not trade it for anything else. He saved me Jason. He did a lot of fucked up things too but you can not understand how Bruce is the reason I'm alive and approximately sane."

 

The younger man was unsure what to respond. But Dick was right Jason could not understand or maybe if he hadn't died he would have understand. He felt mad, at what he wasn't so sure but as always he would act on it.

 

"So if I'm dating you, I'm also dating him? Cause you two seem to come in package."

 

"No." Dick said firmly. Before taking a deeep breath and carrying on.

 

"Do you ever listen? Or you just take the words you want to hear and twist them to tell yourself you are so fucked up? Just because I care about Bruce's opinion, does not mean that everything would be related to him. If I date you then it's only you. I won't let him stop us, the only fucking problem is that it's going to break me if he is disappointed in me. I would still fight him but I'm so scared of that pain it would bring. I'm scared it would put even more distance between him and me."

 

And what Jason wanted to say was that, he wanted Dick to focus on him, he wanted the older man to show him that he care for him, he juts wanted to be loved. Jason was scared to not be enough, scared that Dick was going to leave but instead the younger man gave back a glare "Bruce is an asshole and would never care about you, you also should stop caring! I should have stay dead."

 

"Fuck you Jason." Dick cursed angrily.

 

That stunned him for a few seconds. "What?"

 

"Aw sorry, my bad. I shoud let you say how much you prefer being dead and tell me how much you hate Bruce. It doesn't hurt at all, silly me."

 

"S-sorry." Jason's anger started to flood away letting it's place for guilt. And that was really horrible to feel, he had fucked up because he was angry but now that he had said all those things how could he even take it back?

 

"You are sorry? Really? Well too bad cause I'm fucking done with letting you shit on me openly."

 

The thing with Dick and that Jason was really well aware of, was that the older man was patient, he did not lose his cool a lot but when he did it was hard to calm him down. Everyone thought that the younger man hold the most anger, and even himself had thought that but after all it was probably Dick, the first Robin had make an amazing job to hide it now that Tim and Damian came into his life.

 

But Jason knew him before. Dick is good at managing emotions except one : anger. Always had been and would always be. Dick was the angry Robin not him.

 

Which now meant he was in trouble because he had push past Dick's limits and even by speaking about Bruce, knowing it was the older man weakness. Them ending up the night by fighting in Jason's appartment was now a high probability and the younger man did not want that, fighting Dick in normal time was already hard (not that he would ever admit it.) but fighting the older man when he was mad? That was signing up for suicide.

 

"I didn't meant to." Jason tried.

 

"But you said it? Every single time Jason, why?! I'm trying to be patient, I'm trying to be understanding but why do you always have to press where it hurt the most?!"

 

"I-"

 

Dick harsly pushed him against the wall. Jason's back hurted because of the impact. And anger was back, forget all the guilt he needed to fight back but the older man spoke before him.

 

"I am going to say it once and you better listen. You will not make me distance myself from Bruce. You don't like him? Fine I won't even question it, I won't even force you to see him even if I want you two to finally talk and get along. Don't even speak about Bruce badly! You can't! No one can, no one know how much he saved me and how he amazing he can be!" Tears were sliding down the older man's cheeks as he pressed Jason harder into the wall.

 

"I love you, I'm sorry." Jason blurted out. Dick's expression change into surprise.

 

Jason tried again. "I was just scared to lose you to Bruce." The younger tried to be honest, Dick was understanding, the first Robin was kind. Jason needed to open up if he wanted all this to work. His hero was right infront of him, coming to him to talk so why did he need to be mean?

 

Dick's gaze was searching his, as if he wasn't believing Jason.

 

"I just want your full attention. I know it is not possible and it made me hurt you because if I hurt you and you stay then I feel like you care about me." The younger's man throat was painful.

 

Dick was still angry, Jason could feel it.

"And?" The older man's voice was harsh, Jason knew he could lose Dick at any time now.

 

He held back his cries, he didn't have the right to, not after what he said to the first Robin. "And I should stop doing that. I- I am sorry."

 

"I'm not even, sure anymore. Maybe all this is a mistake." Dick looked down, starting to push himself away from the wall.

 

As soon as this words left the older man's mouth a pathetic sob escapaded Jason's lips "Dick- please."

 

The first Robin's eyes quickly went back to the younger man's one. Anger quickly replaced with something else. "We both fucked up aren't we?"

 

Jason broke down when Dick's gaze turned soft. As if the older man made a decision that Jason thougt was too good to be true.

 

"What did you say again, earlier this week on the phone?" Dick's tone was gentle. Jason did not deserve it.

 

The younger tried to reply in between sobs. "Th- that I am. In love. With. You."

 

"Yes you are." Dick smiled small and genlte making Jason cry louder. "And I think I am too."

 

And then soft lips were against his, Jason's eyes fluttered shut. A hand was place on his jaw, thumb gently caressing his skin. The tender of the moment was overwhelming for Jason, he wasn't use to it. No one had even been gentle with him, not like this.

 

He let out a soft noise, not quite a moan but not quiet a sigh. Dick pulled back slighty "Di-" he did not have time to ask back for it, that the older man was already here, kissing him passionetely.

 

Dick pressed his body closer, leading Jason's into a soft dance of both their body and lips. The younger man did not resist. It started to feel intoxicating, Jason bring his hands on Dick's shoulder, pulling the older man closer.

 

He loved the man infront of him deeply, since he first had put that Robin's suits on. It was like a dream coming true, happiness was floading through his chest. He needed Dick.

 

The softness of their kiss was starting to turn into something more raw and intense. His hips grinding slowly against the older man, making him gasps into the kiss. Dick started to kiss his way down from Jason's jaw to his neck, biting at the juncture between it.

 

Jason exhale shakily, feeling too much sensation at once. His body was on fire and he was getting hard. He grabbed the older man's hair. Suddenly a ringing was heard.

 

"Oh shit." Dick said rushing to grab his phone. Jason wanted nothing than to curse every single living soul because why now? The older man answered regardless.

 

"Yes Damian? You okay?"

 

Jason stayed quiet, walking to go sit on the couch. He couldn't hear what Damian was saying but Dick was focused and obviously anxious. Damn brat, cock blocking Jason even without being here.

 

"Do I need to knock some sense into him?"

 

Was Dick speaking about Bruce? Or did Damian fight with Tim? No the older man would never talk about the teenager like that.

 

"What? Why did you thought you needed to distance yourself from me?" Dick sounded offended here. He turned back to the younger man, flashing him a small smile before joining Jason on the couch.

 

Jason faintly heard Damian speaking about a misunderstanding

 

"Well I am glad Damian, do you need me to come pick you up? Or you just wanted to hear me."

 

Dick chuckled at whatever the brat said. "Alright Dami, do you need to inform me on anything else?"

 

"Alright, then take care Dami. I'll see you on sunday."

 

"Bye Dami."

 

And with that Dick hang up and turned to face Jason. "I'm sorry, I just promised Damian I would be here if he need anything."

 

"Do you need to go back?" Jason asked, anxious.

 

"Nope don't worry, I'm staying right here with you."

 

"Okay." Yes Jason did not know what to say.

 

"So uh, sorry for pushing to the wall like that and getting mad." Dick was clearly uncomfortable.

 

"Don't. I started all that I deserved it." And it was hot but this Jason would not say it out loud.

 

"You don't deserve it Jay. I can get mad but physically assaulting is not okay."

 

Jason snorted "You are the one saying that Goldie? Young me would had laugh at that statement."

 

"Oh gosh I'm sorry, I was bitch back then."

 

"It's fine, I could have beat your ass anytime, I just gave you free pass."

 

That sparked something in Dick that Jason would call "I'm gonna beat your ass just to prove you I've always been stronger".

 

"Jay? Come on, I'm beating your ass now and in the past. I can take Bruce in a fight don't forget."

 

"No way you can beat the old man?" Jason was now interested in getting that tea and possible blackmails information.

 

"It's a secret, he still refuse to admit it but he always try to find a way to not spare with me. His ego had been struck. I'm just that good." Dick winked.

 

Jason barked a laugh. "I wanna see that. I'll give you anything just to see you two fight."

 

"Interesting offer, I'll see what I can do about it."

 

"Dick I'll litterally workship you if you give me the opportunity to see Bruce get beaten by his own son." When Jason looked back he found Dick looking at him with a such care and love that it made his breath stop for a second.

 

The older man grabbed his shirt, pulling him into a kiss before grabbing Jason's hair. "You mean so much to me Jay." Dick whispered only for them to hear.

 

Jason looked up in awe. "What are we Dick?"

 

"I am still scared and anxious about all this but if I call you my boyfriend would it be fine?"

 

The younger man just stared in disbelief. Yes he was going to die right here. How could his heart take all this. "I- Yes?"

 

"Yes? Why are you asking me a question?" Dick laughed genlty.

 

"Yes, I want it."

 

"Well then I guess it settled."

 

Jason lost the ability to think at that exact moment. "Like really?"

 

"Yes."

 

"I am dating you?"

 

"Yes Jay, you are dating me."

 

"No one can have you anymore?"

 

Dick chuckled, gosh Jason loved that sound. "Yes I'm all yours."

 

"Oh wow."

 

And that's when Dick burst out laughing like a freaking kid. Jason felt the blush spread on his cheeks.

 

"Dick don't laugh at me." He whined.

 

"Sorry you just so cute, I can't." Of course that bastard did not stop.

 

"You are not funny." Yes Jason was going to sulk.

 

"Aw is my baby sulking?" And then that man had the audacity to pinch his cheeks.

 

"Dick get your hand away from me!"

 

"Alright, alright cutie."

 

"I'm gonna shoot you." Jason face was now extremely red and the embarrassment was too big for him to bear.

 

Dick to stood up without a warning, apparently spotting something interesting. "You started reading the book?"

 

Maybe Jason finished twice already and he ketp re-reading it because it was a way to feel his delusional ass with Dick's presence. But he would never say it so he did not mention all the truth. "Yes."

 

"I'm glad you started it, I wasn't so sure if you would like it. It was kinda a stupid gift."

 

"It wasn't Dick. I-I really appreciate it." Maybe it was a good time for Jason to give his own gift he had bought for Dick a while ago. "I also had a gift for you. For christmas, I know I should have give it to you a while ago but I couldn't."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes. But it's really really stupid and dumb and yea don't expect anything extraordinary. Please don't laugh at me."

 

"Jay, calm down. I won't laugh, I am already so happy to know that you thought about me and got me a gift."

 

The younger man hurried himself to go get that present. It was really something stupid and mostly a little throw back to the first christmas they had together without fighting and when the older man got something for him.

 

Younger Jason had been so happy and he just thought it was a good idea to show Dick that he still remembered that even tho he had amnesia, it was still in his memory.

 

Back then the older man had gotten him a Batman plushie (Jason still have it and keep it hidden in a secret part of his closet.)

 

That damn plushie had been with him throughout all his night at the manor once he had gotten it and that he was still alive. So he thought it would be funny when on his way to patrol he saw a store with some superheroes plushies and one Superman toy that looked exatcly like his Batman one.

 

Yes that was his gift, stupid wasn't it? He just hoped Dick would understand. As he make his way back to the living room, he hesitantly handed the package to Dick.

 

The older man carefully unwrapped it, expression focused before turning into such a genuine smile it hurted Jason just to see it.

 

"Aw, Jay. I love it."

 

"I... I just thought. You know at first I wanted to get a Batman one but since you like Superman and it would pissed off B just to know his eldest is sleeping with a Superman plushie, my choice was easily done."

 

"Thanks Jay." Dick smiled brightly at him. "I didn't know you would remember that. And I didn't expect my gift back then to had mean that much to you. I'm honored."

 

"Come on, how could it mean a lot to me? The first Robin giving a gift to me? A poor little street rat."

 

Dick stood up, pulling Jason into a hug. "You are not a rat but thank you Jason."

 

The younger man buried his face into his hero's shoulder. Loving the feeling of being held and loved.

 

After that Dick would stay the night with him, they would sleep together and cuddle a lot. They would kiss but never go further than that. Jason would be more than happy with just this. He would also finally have a restful night, burried into Dick's protective arms. The young boy in him was smiling to know that his silly crush finally came true.

Chapter Text

Jason :

 

Jason woke up when he felt something move under him... Dick.

 

The younger man struggled to open his eyes and grunted when he felt the older man pushed him away.

 

"Didn't meant to wake you up." Dick apologied immediately.

 

"Well too late asshole." Jason stretched out, keeping his face in the pillow and making noises when he felt his bone crack. He was going to be twenty soon, why the hell was he cracking like an old person.?

 

"Come here Jay."

 

He felt Dick's weight on him, hugging him tightly. Jason just let himself go limp, the older man's weight on him was reassuring. Dick pressed a kiss to the back of his neck and that made the younger man shivered.

 

"You're sensitive here?" Dick teased.

 

"Fuck off."

 

And then Dick fucking dared to bite the back of his neck making Jason gasp. Yea now the younger man was hard.

 

"Dick gosh." Jason gripped tightly the pillow, letting the first Robin lick and bite into his neck as much as he wanted. The younger man was so going to have hickeys all around.

 

After giving a final kiss Dick backed off, still not moving out of Jason. The older man was probably admiring his work.

 

"Looks pretty on you, I should do that more often."

 

Jason ignored the vivid images of the older man biting him at places that weren't family friendly. He need to distract his mind from that. "I'm hungry move your heavy ass and let's go eat breakfast."

 

"Alright Jay."

 

So that's what they did. As they ate breakfast Jason still wondered if what happened yesterday was still up or if it was just because of the emotions.

 

"Uhm Dick. I just... Okay it's not that I don't trust you but my brain still can't accept the fact that we are dating, so are we really dating or am I dreaming?"

 

Dick did not get angry, instead he just smiled softly at the younger man. "Yes Jay, we dating."

 

Jason smiled widely, he couldn't hide it. He just felt happy, too happy, it was close to feel scary. He wasn't used to those happy feelings.

 

"You are pretty when you smile Jay." Dick teased.

 

"I-" The younger man looked away, blushing like a teenager.

 

"Everytime I'm doubting if I really love you or not, I just look at you and immediately know that I indeed do." Dick took Jason's hand in his, slowly kissing it while forcing eye contact with the younger man.

 

"I do too, a lot." Jason replied shyly.

 

"Can I ask you some questions?"

 

Jason nodded, unsure of what Dick wanted.

 

"Well, I-I am unsure how you feel about physical touch. I mean everything from simply holding hand to... Well, more sexual touches."

 

The younger man's mind focused mostly on the last part. Dick and him having sex? That thing scared him as much as he wanted it.

Jason cleared his throat. "Okay, that's a bit complicated, I don't mind hugs or holding hands most of the time. I just sometime feels overwhelmed and don't like being touch but I'll try to tell you when I feel like that."

 

"Alright, I will be mindfull of all that."

 

"And you?"

 

Dick started to think before looking back at him. "I don't mind physical contacts, I love them even but you already know this."

 

Hell yea Jason did, that man had took any opportunities he got to hug anyone in that family. Even getting Bruce to accept hugs.

 

Dick took a deep breath before asking. "Now, you know. Sexually, how? How we proceed? What are you ease with?"

 

And well, Jason and sex was a complicated relationship. The fact that he had been forced to sell his body when he was young (too young) had not helped. This had result in his tiny body knowing feelings it shouldn't really know and making it asking for more. He had never done anything more than giving a blowjob or getting his cock touched cause some creeps apparently liked to jerk off kids.

 

That had result in him sneaking out from galas to give some shitty blow jobs to pedos in a hidden corner because he just couldn't get away from it, even after Bruce took him in.

 

It was stronger than him at that time and he felt fucking disgusting. Which is why now that he is older, he had distance himself from it because in the past he many times had put himself in danger just because he was chasing a feeling. He did not want to make the same mistake.

 

He was also scared of showing his body now full of scars. Combine all that and you get a desire to get railed but being scared evrytime someone would imply anything sexual. He also had problem with trusting someone enough to see him that vunerable.

 

He cleared his throat, trying to sound confident. "It's complicated, I don't think I am ready now, I'm sorry about that but-"

 

"Jay, I'm just cutting you real quick. Do. Not. Excuse yourself for not wanting something yea? I am never going to force you into anything you are not comfortable with. Now you can continue."

 

"Tha-thank you. So you know my past right?" Jason asked unsure. The older man nodded.

 

"Well I only gave shitty blowjob and never did more but it still fucked me up and so I am scared of it. I want to tho, like gosh Dick you are so damn attractive but my mind is stuck on not being able to. I don't mind flirting but I don't do it because I'm scared that by doing that you will expect us to do more while I just can't. And I don't want you to find me disgusting because of my past."

 

Dick nodded. "I am sorry you had to go through all that Jay and no I would never find you disgusting. You... You were a child trying to survive, you did what you had to do. I would love to flirt with you and I don't mind if we don't do anything after, we can take all the time you need to go further and if you never want it's also fine."

 

"Thank you so much." Jason felt relieved, it was like a weight had been thrown away. But now he needed to know how Dixk felt about it. "And you?"

 

"Well now that you know about my assault, you can guess it is also a sensitive subject for me. I am kinda the opposite, and please don't judge me, I am really ashame of all that but it's just- how I act, I can't do anything about it and I know it wasn't sometime the healthiest but now I try to work on it."

 

The younger man pressed a reassuring hand on Dick's arm. "I won't, why would I judge you when I'm probably no better."

 

"I- I don't know. It's just hard to talk about those stuff. Like you are aware I had dated some people before. They were all women tho, never had date a man before you are my first male partner. I did had sex with some men but nothing more... Romantic."

 

The idea of being Dick's first in something was exciting. The older man was also Jason's first but this time in very much everything, the younger man never dated before nor had sex with anyone, except if you count his life on the street then he already had gave heads.

 

"So I am quite uhm, active? I was being really unhealthy and dangerous in the past but now I'm try to be more careful, even tho since you confessed to me I didn't really hang out with anyone so been a while but yea before I really had that need to do it all the time. Like I sometime hurted my body because of it and I'm not proud of it but it's the truth." Dick spoke really fast, he took a break, taking time to study Jason's expression.

 

The younger man did not show any disgust, he did not care what the older man did in the past or okay maybe he was a bit jealous but disgust wasn't part of what he felt. Dick seemed to see that in his expression as he carried on.

 

"So how I feel about it is basically, I do love having sex and it is a really important part for me and I'm going to be honest, I can wait if you need time, never pressure yourself but I would really like it if one day you feel ease enough to open up to me about that. Because if you really never want it that would be a bit hard for me but please Jay, never force yourself that's a me problem, I'll find a solution like I care for you more than anything, I'm just being honest because I think it's important we don't start hidding important stuff from one another."

 

Jason understood, he won't lie he wanted to please Dick but he also knew forcing himself would do no one any good. "I mean you don't have to worry, I am mostly scared of being touch but giving you pleasure is not something I'm against. But still not now, I need a bit more time."

 

"Alright Jay, again no pressure and thank you for being honest with me."

 

"I should be the one thanking you Goldie, you litteraly accept what most of people won't."

 

"You are worthy of everything Jay, I would give you the world if I could."

 

"Eh, don't start being all cringy and lovely with me fucker, I still need to get used to..." Jason gesture between them. "Before you even start to make your cringe pick up lines."

 

"Eh, my pick up lines are amazing."

 

"I doubt that."

 

Dick looked at Jason offended. The younger man smirked, enjoying the light hearted vibe and the fact that he was now dating Dick for real. He knew it won't be easy but he wanted to try.

 

Now he felt confident about finally having the right to touch the older man, he made his way toward Dick, grabbing his hand gently before guiding him down onto the sofa. Jason then placed himself above the older man, pressing a peck to his lips.

 

"What have I done to be blessed this early in the morning?" Dick teased, placing his hand on Jason's waist.

 

"Shut up." The younger man blushed, pressing another kiss to shut the man up. Dick grabbed his hair, keeping Jason close.

 

After some minutes of making out, mixed with their gasped and tongues, Dick then pulled his hair back. "Lemme bite there too, couldn't access it properly earlier."

 

Jason moaned when he felt teeths sink into his skin. Dick alternated between biting,kissing and sucking sometime even licking the marks. The younger man liked it, this sent waves of pleasure through his body, making his mind dizzy and focused on the sensation.

 

"So pretty Jay."

 

"Shut up." The younger man groaned, trying to keep his hips from humping against the first Robin.

 

"Didn't know you were into this?" Dick teased.

 

All this was starting to get him hot and really hard, he knew Dick said it was fine but a part of him was still scared about having to refuse to go further, so he decided to stop it before it goes too far. "Dick stop, please."

 

The older man was quick to obey, taking his hands off the younger man's waist. "You alright? Did I do something that triggered you?"

 

"No it's just, it felt too much, not your fault, I loved it. Just panicked."

 

Dick pressed a peck to his lips, the worry in his gaze leaving at the explanation. "Thanks for telling me."

 

"Gosh don't start with that. I'm not a kid in need of reassurance because I expressed my feelings."

 

The older man only raised a brow. Jason glared at him, no he didn't need reassurance, he was fine. The sentence Dick said did not ease even a tiny tension in his body, nope, never.

 

"If you say so Jay." That bastard grinned. Jason just rolled his eyes, getting out of Dick's laps.

 

The younger man changed subject. "When do you need to get that brat back?"

 

"Tomorrow."

 

Jason hesited to ask a question but Dick had asked him to be more open about his thoughts and feelings. He took a deep breath. "Would you? Like talk about us to Damian? I mean you said he already knew that something was going on between us two but now that is it offical, would you tell him?"

 

The older thought about it for a second before looking back at Jason. "I would like to yes but only if you are okay with it."

 

"Why do you want to tell him?"

 

"I- It's just that he lives with me now and if we want to be able to call freely or just you coming over without it looking weird, he kinda need to know and I also don't wanna hide it from him. But only Damian, I'm not telling anyone else until we're ready and before you ask, yes even Tim, I'm not telling him even if he would probably guess."

 

Jason smiled at that, the younger man had been feeling strange toward Damian, he felt like he knew the kid, not as in, they talk and he learnt but more about the brat but as in knowing him for a long time. Was it possible that they met before? Everytime he tried to remember he was hit with a sudden headache, it was always like this when he wanted to remember what happened once he got resurected.

 

He had been in the league and was Damian there? He wasn't sure, he vaguely remember being kept away from everyone as he was mostly unprecditable and pretty violent. So they wouldn't had let him near a kid right?

 

He stopped thinking, he felt a headache upcoming instead he focused back on Dick. "You can yea, I guess it's important."

 

"Thank you." The older man whispered.

 

Jason just walked toward, feeling suddenly embarrassed. "I'll go shower, make yourself at home."

 

Dick grinned at him but without commenting on Jason's obvious shyness.

 

The younger man took a long shower, thinking about how unreal everything felt, he was now dating Dick and he internally wanted to giggle and kick his feets but he needed to keep his dignity.

 

Once he was out the older man was busy on his phone, only looking up when Jason settled down next to him.

 

"What are you doing?" The younger man asked.

 

"Just taking news of Damian."

 

Jason hummed. "And how is he?"

 

"Fine Bruce and him spared today, Damian had been telling me about it for the past fifteen minutes, I bet he would tell me everything all over again on our way back. I'm glad B, listened to my advices and actually tried to bond with his child."

 

"Through violence and fights, but you are right, it's the love language in that fucked up family."

 

Dick laughed at Jason's commentary, making the younger man's heart flutter.

 

"It's a good start." Dick added.

 

Jason laid his head on the older man's shoulder, staring at the conversation between him and Damian. Apparently the brat and the other brat had fought about who was the best fighter and from the youngest's words it was him who won. Jason was just happy to know that Tim got his ass beaten.

 

After saying their goodbyes, Dick put his phone down, laying his head on top of Jason's one. The younger man closed his eyes, suddenly feeling really relaxed and stress-free. A hand found a way on his thight, gently caressing it.

 

The touch did not feel scary or painful, for once he wasn't disgust by it nor scared that it was a poor attempt at trying to get into Jason's pant. It just felt nice and appeasing. So that was how healthy relationship were supposed to be? Jason was already loving the sound of it.

 

They passed most of their afternoon cuddling on the couch, no words were spoken, just comfortable silence and physcial contacts. When they finally decided to move because it was starting to get late and they needed to eat, Dick kissed him gently before offering his hand to pull Jason's toward the kitchen.

 

The younger had once again witnessed the disaster that was Dick in a kitchen but instead of getting angry, he just laughed about it. Playfully teasing the older man. After surviving the cooking phase they ate infront of a movie Dick wanted Jason to watch.

 

It was of course something stupid but the younger man enjoyed hearing Dick's laugh or stupid comments about certain scenes. The night ended in the same lighthearted vibe, they once again slept in each other's arms, making sure to chase nightmares away.

Chapter Text

Dick :

 

Dick had been awake for a while now. He did not want to move, watching Jason while asleep was a sight he hadn't expected to get adicted to. This relationship was a big thing for him, he kept asking himself if he did the right thing or not, if dating Jason was really what he should do.

 

He never had seen the younger man be this relaxed around him, he hadn't expected Jason to be sweet and all caring when it come to love. The boy was shy, never saying much out loud about his feelings but all his little gestures and gazes were enough for Dick to not doubt the love Jason held for him.

 

But he still had a hard time accepting that he was having feelings for Jason, he struggle with the title of brother, with what would Bruce think, his family or his friends. Sometime he thought stuff like "Fuck it all lemme just live my life." and sometime it was more "What have I done, everything is ruin now, everyone is going to hate me." What a fun time to be in his head.

 

For now he tried to focus on his new lover's relaxed face, it was a first to see Jason, the big fearless Red hood looking just extremely young and cute. Because yes, even if Jason was now taller than him, he still sometime had his baby face showing up.

 

Dick had noticed that in certain expressions such as when the boy was flustatred or shy and now he could add asleep to his list. He maybe stared for too long as he catched the moment the younger man open his eyes. His heart was melting from the view.

 

"That's creepy to stare at someone while they are sleeping, Goldie." Jason said in that damn morning voice thet made Dick's blood head the wrong way. He try to think of unsexy things, gosh he couldn't allow himself to get hard just by Jason's voice.

 

"Well, I think it isn't." Dick snuggled closer.

 

Jason blink a few times, drifting in between staying asleep and waking up. When the younger man finally opened them fully he stared at Dick with a loving gaze and if the older man said that it didn't make his heartbeat increase that would be a lie.

 

"Slept well sleeping beauty?" Dick teased.

 

"Yes the princess is ready to go on with her day." Jason replied sarcastically, making the older man laugh.

 

Dick moved himself closer and kissed the younger man's forehead before pulling Jason in for a hug.

 

"When are you going to leave to get Damian?" The younger man shifted under him.

 

"I'll need to leave in a bit, Bruce invited me to eat with them for dinner."

 

"Alright good luck." Dick could heard the sadness in Jason's voice, he hugged the man tighter.

 

"We are going to see each other again Jay." Dick reassured softly, kissing the top of Jason's nose.

 

"I know. But doesn't make it any less... Sad." Jason whispered the last word.

 

Dick suddenly got hit with an idea. A stupid one but an idea regardless. "Jay can I bite you?"

 

Jason choked on a laugh. "What the fuck Dick?"

 

"I'm serious."

 

"Well then what the actual fuck?"

 

"Well when the mark I leave fade away, it's going to be your clue to come to me to get a new one." Dick teased, already tracing lazy patterns on Jason's neck.

 

"I don't know if I should be scared or turn on."

 

"Both." Dick replied.

 

The younger man laughed before surprisingly tilting his head to the side to reveal his neck. And oh fuck they were really doing that. Dick would one hundred percent deny he had a thing for leaving marks on his lover's body, it was just because he needed to, nothing else.

 

The older man gently started to give a few kisses, listening to Jason's breath fastened. He started to suck the skin lightly, nothing to leave a mark yet just enough to tease the boy. When Jason finally grabbed his hair, Dick took this as his clue to start getting to work.

 

He opened his mouth slightly before biting into the skin, he didn't intend to go that hard when he heard Jason whine. He slightly reduce the pressure waiting for the younger man to pull away but instead, he pulled Dick closer.Dick went back into biting harder, holding the boy in place.

 

Listening to Jason fast exhales, he felt the need to make sure the mark lasted long. The younger man already had quite a few hickeys on his body but it wasn't enough for Dick, he needed to see more.

 

He continued and only stopped once he started to feel a bit of metallic taste, maybe he went a bit too hard. When he pulled back to look at Jason the younger man had his eyes half closed, looking at Dick with such an intense gaze, body twitching slightly.

 

"I think this would last for quite a while. Now people know you are already taken." Dick whispered.

 

Jason just pulled him down in a hug, kissing Dick hungrily while soothing his hand on the older man's back. "You're a bit of a psycho Goldie." Jason spoke out of breath.

 

Dick chuckled. "Only for you."

 

"I'll argue on that Dick."

 

The older man gave a little pinch to Jason's side, making him yelp and pins Dick's hands on his chest before tickling his sides. Dick tried to get out of Jason's grip, laughing and begging for the boy to stop but the younger man did not.

 

"Jay, stop. I'm sorry. I promise I'll never do that again." That was obviously a lie but Dick needed to breath and stop laughing.

 

"And I'm supposed to believe you?"

 

"Pretty please Jay."

 

The younger man stopped looking at Dick before giving a peck to his lips. "You're lucky you need to leave soon. Now go shower before I change my mind."

 

Dick gave one last smile to Jason before heading for the shower. He was going to be slightly late but he told himself it was fine, that wouldn't be too bad. When he was out, he found Jason in the living room busy reading a book. And that book was Dick's gift. Ugh his heart could not take it.

 

"Hi pretty bird." Dick teased.

 

Jason huffed before looking up and then eyeing Dick like the older man was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And that made Dick shy.

 

"I should be the one saying that. I'm jealous of the brat, he gets to see you everyday." Jason joked but Dick understood that it was partially the truth.

 

"One day you are going to be able to see me everyday." Dick said knowing perfectly that the younger man was going to blush.

 

Jason's cheeks reddened as he looked away. "You're gonna be late, you should go."

 

"Where is my goodbye kisses." Dick pouted.

 

"Stop acting like that it's creepy."

 

"Bu-" Dick did not have time to finish as the younger man's lips were on his. He enjoyed the feeling of it, hugging Jason tightly because he was aware that they won't see each other anytime soon. Dick tried to print all the memories of the past days and make sure to never forget them.

 

They pulled away, staring into each other's eyes.

 

"I-" The word could not come out of his mouth, he was suddenly hit with a wave of self awareness about him and Jason's relationship. He tried to chase the thought away but nothing worked. So he changed his sentence last second. "I don't want to but I need to go."

 

"Yea I know don't worry. We can still call?"

 

"Of course Jay. Always, you can call me anytime."

 

The younger man smiled at that, letting go of Dick before pressing one last kiss to his cheek. "Then you see you Goldie."

 

"See you Jay."

 

With that he left, gathering his bags and key. The road to the manor was quick and without realising he found himself infront of the main entrance pushing the door while trying to push away the thought that not even ten minutes ago his tongue was shoved down the throat of his adopted brother and that now he needed to look at Bruce in the eyes.

 

He tried to breath and not show his guilt. The first person he saw was of course Alfred who raised a questioning brow at him, yea he wasn't good at hidding his feeling. Dick just shook his head and the old man did not force him to talk.

 

Damian came quickly in view, smiling for a second before putting back his usual face. The youngest walk slowly toward Dick before stopping infront of him and looking up. Dick forgot how the boy never showed him affection in public so the older man decided to ruffles the boy's hair, letting him the opportunity to pretend he did not like it.

 

"Tt, Grayson, stop ruining my hair." Damian complained but leaned slightly more into the touch. Dick smiled down softly. It hurted when the youngest called him by his last name but if it's what's made Damian happy then he could take it.

 

When he looked up Bruce was walking toward them, a smile on his face.

 

"Hi, B." Dick greeted.

 

"You're late." Was all Bruce said.

 

Dick sighed internally, keeping his smile one his face. "I was busy, sorry B."

 

"What were you doing?"

 

And ugh. "Just visited someone. Got a bit carried away and spoke a bit too long."

 

Bruce raised a brow but understood that Dick won't share more.

 

"Where is Tim?" Because he still hadn't seen the teenager while normally the teenager was always here to greet him.

 

"Probably in his room." His adoptive father answered.

 

"I'll go check." He then turned to Damian. "I will join you after yea? I'm just going to go get Tim."

 

The younger nodded getting away from Dick and joining his dad's side. Dick headed toward the teenager's room. As he climb the stairs he had a bad gut feelings.

 

Once he reached the door he knocked waiting for an answer before entering when he heard the teenager's voice telling him to come in.

Tim's room was messy and random pictures were thrown on the ground. The teenager was sat on the bed with something in his hand.

 

"Hi Timmy, I didn't see you down there." Dick tried to initiate.

 

Tim looked up, expression weird. "I was. Busy."

 

"Busy?"

 

"Yes we can go down now." Tim hurried, hidding something behind him.

 

"Hey you sure everything is okay Tim?"

 

"Yes don't worry, just tired."

 

"You are lying and what worry me even more is that you are normally too good at that. So it must be really bad if you can't even hide it." Dick went to sit on the teenager's bed but Tim pushed him away.

 

"It's fine really, it was my fault so I just had to fix it and it was a bit annoying but now I'm fine don't worry."

 

There was no point in continuing on that subject, Tim was clearly not going to respond. Dick would need to ask Damian if he noticed anything about the teenager in the few days he passed at the manor.

 

"Alright, I came to tell you that we all gonna eat. I'm only leaving in the afternoon, wanna come down with me?"

 

Tim hesitantly stood up and followed him. The teenager was still busy on his phone and this would had been normal if Dick didn't felt like something was wrong. But he did not force anything, he would wait until Tim was ready to open up.

 

When they were finally downstairs they headed toward the main dinning room. And dinner would had been fine if Bruce did not keep looking at him like Dick was hidding something. Gosh, he hoped his adoptive father could not guess he had been seeing Jason.

 

He pretended everything was fine, as they all chat about random subjects, Tim seemed a bit more aware and here while Damian was sharing about the day him and Dick went to the shelter. Dick told himself this was fine, he could take Bruce being weird, that wasn't new.

 

And he should had known that his adoptive father coming to him after the meal wasn't new either.

 

"You sure everything is fine Dick?" Bruce asked, slight worry shown on his face.

 

"Yes B, I'm fine, just a bit tired with everything that happened recently."

 

"What were you doing earlier?"

 

Dick sighed loudly. "I was just visiting a friend."

 

"You sure?"

 

"Yes I am?!"

 

Bruce was about to speak again but Dick cut him off, pissed to be treat like a kid while he was almost twenty three, he did not need someone to be always on his back. "Bruce I'm not nine anymore, I can go see my friend whenever I want."

 

"I didn't meant that. I just want to make sure you... You did not fall back into bad habits."

 

And ouch, that was a nice fucking stab. "Oh really? What I'm a whore is that what you wanna say?!"

 

"Dick, no. I'm just worried for your health."

 

"Shit, Bruce I know how to use some goddamn protection." Dick wasn't sure if he should feel ashame or mad. Why not both.

 

"God I know you do but you and I know it's not about that."

 

Yes Dick knew it wasn't about that, mostly. But the fact that his adoptive father knew about his past fucked up sexual habits was a bit too much for him.

 

"Well since my sex life is that important to you, I did not fuck with a single person for months. Happy now?!"

 

And it was true, the only thing he did was making out with Jason and also dating him but this, he wasn't sure how he would even tell Bruce one day.

 

"If you say so." Bruce had the audacity to say.

 

"You don't believe me?! What do you need more? Do you wanna do a full physical exam or something? You gonna take my blood while I'm asleep or what? Can't you just trust me for once? Don't you see I'm doing my best?" Dick was hurt, he wished his dad would see the effort he did, wished his dad would acknownledge him.

 

All this was a sensitive subject for him and Bruce was pushing every hurtful buttons. The worst is that his adoptive father did not even deny what Dick just said. That twisted his heart in a way only Bruce knew how to do. He felt like crying but he didn't. He won't.

 

"Alright, I think I should go now, I'll just go say bye to Tim. You can tell Damian to join me once you told your goodbye. If you even do." And he left. Seeking for the teenager before giving him a hug and telling him to call if needed and that he was leaving early because of something that came up. And the teenager wasn't blind, he understood.

 

Dick directly went to his car, not wanting to see Bruce one more time.

 

Damian arrived a few minutes later. Worry clear on his face but the older man did not feel like he had the strenght to explain his fight with Bruce. He just smiled, opening the door for the youngest.

 

"Hi Dami, we finally alone. I missed you kiddo."

 

"I did too Richard."

 

The youngest waited a few minutes of road before finally giving a proper hug to Dick and that gesture was enough for the older man to relax and try to forget about everything. He still felt the tears at the back of his throat, burning and hurting. A constant reminder on how much it hurted to feel.

 

The way back home was long, the roads were crowded, they had to stop on the way to eat something because they were starting to get hungry. When him and Damian finally entered back their appartment, the youngest immediately started asking question.

 

"What happened with Father. You look sad."

 

"It's nothing Damian. We just fought on something but nothing to worry about, it happen all the time between me and him."

 

"Is it because of me?" The youngest asked with a little voice.

 

"No, no sweetheart. Not because of you I promise. It had nothing to do with you."

 

Damian relaxed at that. The youngest came closer to Dick, grabbing his hand before leading him to the older man's bedroom.

 

"You should rest Richard. I will unpack my bags alone, I do not need your help."

 

"Damian it's fin-"

 

"None of that, when I'm upset or sad you let me sleep, it is my turn to let you rest."

 

Dick exhale deeply, he kinda needed that but he felt bad to leave Damian that early after they finally reunited. The youngest was stubborn and he was clearly glaring at the older man, daring him to protest.

 

"Alright, I'll do that, thanks Dami. Sleep well and I'm here if you need anything, wake me up."

 

The youngest nodded, wishing goodnight to Dick before hugging him tightly. The kid left soon after, promising Dick that he was fine and that the older man did not need to worry.

 

Dick just layed down and sleep found him fast enough, avoiding him to overthink every single problems in his life. He was exhausted, he wanted to sleep for days but he couldn't. People needed him, Damian needed him.

Chapter Text

Dick :

 

Dick woke up exhausted, he wanted to just lay down all day but with a sigh he got out of bed. He took a shower to relax his aching muscles. Damian was probably already awake as the older man could faintly smell some kind of food.

 

Dick was happy that the kid took a liking to cooking more specifically baking. Maybe Damian and Jason could get along on that. The older man wondered how to bring the subject of his love life to the youngest.

 

He knew Damian wasn't fond of Jason. And on top of that Dick still had his doubt, he still wasn't sure if he could do this but Jason had look so happy, he did not want to bring up his doubts at every single conversation, that wasn't fair to the younger man.

 

In all honesty the main reason of his doubt were Bruce. Dick had started to change his view on all the brotherly relationship with Jason, it was starting to bother him less, to accept the idea that something else was possible without it being bad.

 

As he made his way to the living room, he notice Damian deeply focused on what looked like a recipe. Dick made his way to the kitchen, trying to be loud enough to not startle the youngest.

 

"Good morning Richard." Damian said without looking up.

 

"Morning Dami, slept well?"

 

"Yes I did," The youngest turned toward him. "And you Richard? You look tired."

 

"Yea didn't slept that good but it's fine."

 

Damian looked him up and down. "Tt, it is not fine just because it is you."

 

And ouch, Damian did have a point here but would Dick accept it? Nope, if he was still breathing then he could keep going.

 

"Alright I just woke up, can we just change subject."

 

The youngest raised a brow before placing something in the oven. Once he was satisfied with what he had done, Damian grabbed Dick's hand leading him to the couch.

 

"What is bothering you Richard, is it because of Father?"

 

And how precious that boy was. "You don't need to worry about that Dami, focus on yourself."

 

Damian's brows furrowed.

 

Dick sighed. "What about I tell you another secret?"

 

This seemed to get the attention of the youngest as he nodded eargerly, suddenly forgetting everything about his previous question.

 

"No one knows it yet and I count on you to keep like that?"

 

"I will not make the mistake twice Richard."

 

Dick smiled, patting the young boy's hair. "Well, I went to see Jason as you asked me. And we talked a lot. After a while we agreed to start dating. It's still new and we both have our problems but we are trying."

 

Many emotions crossed the boy's face. "I am happy for you Richard, I hope Todd knows that if he dare hurting you, I would stab him."

 

The older man laughed, he is sure Jason would also do the same if he was here.

 

"How did you know you loved Todd?" Damian's question took him by surprise.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"How does it feels to be in love?"

 

"I-uh." How could Dick explain to Damian how does this feel, when he himself wasn't sure how he truly felt. He wasn't in love was he? He couldn't do that to Bruce.

 

He still tried to focus, even if he wasn't in love, he still felt something strong. He tried to think about Jason, how warm his heart felt everytime the younger man smiled or laughed, how he loved feeling close to man. He also found himself missing Jason right now.

 

He took a deep breath, gathering himself. "It feels warm and... nice? You like being around this person and you want to be the one to make them smile and laugh," Dick closed his eyes for a second, remembering the few nights next to Jason. "You feel ease next to them, you even want to be next to them. When you sleep in their arms it feels like nothing can hurt you."

 

"You have the same smile." Damian stated.

 

Dick was confused as to what Damian meant. "What?"

 

"Father smiled at his phone like that, when I was at the manor and when I asked him who it was, he told me no one. Father never answer like that. I also heard that when people think about their loved one, they smile like that. You must be really in love, Todd is lucky and underserving to even have the chance to call you, his."

 

The older man was too stunned to speak, he wanted to argue, to tell the youngest he wasn't in love but had he really been smiling that whole time? And had Bruce been seeing someone? It wasn't true right? Damian must had misunderstood.

 

Damian must had sense it, as he cleared his throat, already asking another question. "Would I need to find someone too?"

 

"No Dami, you don't need to. Only if you want it." Dick explained.

 

Damian looked conflicted for a second, closing and opening his mouth a few times before frowning.

 

"What's wrong?" Dick asked.

 

"It is just that... I never really thought about it. My life, they... Have plans for me. I never had to make a choice, I couldn't choose what I wanted. Everything was picked precisely to be the best for me. My partner would had been the same."

 

Dick felt sadness take over. His poor boy. "It's- You can chose now, I will support you no matter who you chose."

 

"How did you know you liked boys?" The question sounded so genuine and innocent it made Dick want to hide Damian from the world and never let anything hurt him.

 

"I'm not sure, I just woke up one morning and knew I liked both gender."

 

Damian hummed, studying the answer. "Alright." Dick could see the way his mind was overheating from all that.

 

"You're still so young Dami, you have all the time to think about that. I'm here if you need any help." Dick smiled gently, pulling the youngest into a hug.

 

"I know something is still bothering you Richard but you always gave me space to sort things out by myself but I want you to know I am here to listen as you did for me."

 

The older man suddenly felt emotional. "Thanks Dami, I'll remember it."

 

Kissing the top of the boy's head, Dick thought about how lucky he was to have someone as sweet and amazing as Damian. They both had come a long way, Dick stil remember the young boy trying to kill him at any given occasions, Bruce's supposed death had help them to get closer.

 

Dick had raised that boy mostly. He was the one who taught Damian that feelings were not something to ignores, that asking for help was okay. He loved Damian like his own son but he deny himself this feelings, the youngest still had Bruce, his dad was alive, Dick had no right to step into that position. (even if deep down he wanted it.)

 

Having Damian with him right now was such an amazing thing, even if the circumstance on why the youngest joining him were sad, he still felt lucky to have Damian.

 

All this was new for him, he never really thought about himself as a parent, he was still young and he wanted to give the best to his child. And him being a vigilant wasn't the best situation for a child to grow up in.

 

But Damian was different, the kid was part of this already, he had find himself naturally taking care of the youngest, he still wasn't perfect but he think he was doing a good job as Damian seemed to feel safe and comfortable with him.

 

The alarm of the oven cut short to his thoughts, the youngest got out of his hold, walking toward the kitchen. Dick just watched him, smiling at the adorable scene playing infront of him.

 

He secretly took a picture before sending it to Jason with text saying "He looks like a little you". Dick put his phone back into his pocket, standing as Damian was bringing the little cakes placed in a plate.

 

"You had some chocalate so I used it." Damian stated at Dick's questioning look.

 

"Alright let me try that, looks delicious Dami." The older man noticed the little redening on the youngest's cheeks. Cute.

 

As they ate Dick felt his phone vibrating in his clothe. He took it out, waiting impatiently for Jason's reply.

 

The younger man's reply made Dick smile :

 

Little wing : He is only doing this cause he is planning to kill me and replace me, you need to stop him

 

Dick : Don't worry, I'll keep you safe

 

Little wing : Tell the brat to bake for me next time I come, tell him I'm sure he sucks at it, like that I'm sure he won't try to poison me and actually make it good

 

Dick reacted with a laugh emoji before focusing back on Damian. "Jay is telling you to cook for him cause he's sure you sucks at it."

 

The youngest raised a brow, his attention clearly here. "I will prove him I am better than him in everything."

 

The older man hided his smile. "Go ahead, I'll support you on that one."

 

And with that they passed the whole day trying to found a recipe Damian could train on, until Jason's next visit. This moment had been away from every problem, Damian had smiled and laugh a few times to Dick's biggest pleasure. That day was one of the rare one the youngest had looked okay again. The older man knew it was temparory but he would learn to enjoy them and take the little moments of peace as they were.

 

Damian would get better one day, even if now wasn't the one.

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

Damian was excited, Richard and him were going to patrol together at night. It had been a bit more than a month that the youngest did not go out as Robin. He had insisted but Richard had express his worry about it.

 

After a few explanation Damian agreed to wait and if he had to be honest he was happy with that. When he first asked to be back as Robin it was mostly because it was his duty and not because he truly wanted it.

 

Richard had probably understand that, telling the youngest that it was fine to stay at home and take time to make sure he felt ease enough to patrol again. The youngest also knew that Robin was now his and that no one could take it from him and taking a break won't get him fired.

 

Richard had went back to work a few minutes ago, he was going to be back late in the afternoon. The older man needed to start working again to earn living because he refused to accept Father's money.

 

Damian did not really understand why Richard refused, the older man explained that he did not want to rely on his father money. The youngest suspected that it was because of the tension between Father and Richard even when they both said that they were on good terms but Damian could clearly see that there was something wrong.

 

The youngest had nothing much to do, he had try to draw but the excitation for tonight was too distracting. He had already tidy the whole house twice, done three different training session and Richard still wasn't back.

 

So he just laid down on the couch, it was Richard's birthday in a week and his gift was ready, he just needed to find something to wrap it up. Father had asked Pennyworth advice on a proper giff for Richard's birthday but Damian left before hearing the answer.

 

As he was about to go once again check if there was anything left to clean, Damian heard the frontdoor unlock and open. Richard was finally back. The youngest hurried to go greet the older man.

 

Richard was taking off his shoes and jacket when he met Damian's eyes. A warm smile immdetialy found it's way on the older man's face.

"Hi Dami, ready for tonight. I'll just eat something quick and we can start to warm up."

 

Damian nodded eargerly, he was more than ready. As he followed Richard into the living, the youngest noticed something wrong with the way the older man held himself.

 

"Is everything alright Richard?"

 

"Yes just injured myself while trying to stop someone with a gun."

 

Worry flooded Damian's body. "Did you got shot?"

 

"Oh no, just got pushed against a wall and landed on my bad shoulder."

 

The youngest had forgot that Richard's shoulder was sometime painful to him and easier to dislocate again. "Do you need to rest?"

 

"Don't worry Dami, I've fight with worst." Richard joked, trying to lighten the mood but it only made Damian's heart tighten at the thought of Richard fighting while being badly injured.

 

"You should take care of yourself Richard."

 

The older man kneeled infront of him, eyes soft. Richard opened his arms, welcoming Damian. The youngest immediately pressed himself into it, suddenly overwhelmed with the fear of losing Richard to injuries or illness.

 

"I'm fine sweetheart, you don't have to worry." Richard reassured.

 

"Please stay safe." Damian needed him to be safe.

 

"I will."

 

Damian felt warm and at ease. Lately he had grown a need to be close to Richard, to feel the warmth and the proof that he was safe. He pressed his head to Richard's chest, listening to the familiar heartbeats.

 

The older man was gently patting the youngest's hair, not scolding Damian for needing hugs and closeness.

 

"You should go eat Richard."

 

"You're right but you come with me." And without a warning Richard picked him up.

 

"I can walk." Damian protested. Not wanting the older man to injure his shoulder some more.

 

"I know but I like having you near, it help me relax."

 

"Very well, I will allow it if it helps you."

 

"Thanks Dami." Richard smiled, walking to the kitchen and settling Damian down on the counter.

 

The youngest watched Richard eat, looking for any sign of discomfort or pain in the older man's body. Damian found none, appart from the way Richard did not use his injured shoulder.

 

"Alright let's get ready shall we? The best duo back together."

 

Damian hidded his smile as he followed Richard to put his suits on. The older man pressed a few hidden buttons, making the closet open, revealing strairs leading down to their base. It was smaller than the cave but still large and enough for them to work in.

 

As they dressed up, Damian watched Richard pay more attention to his shoulder in their warm up. The youngest was worried, a part of him wanted the older man to rest and wait for tomorrow but he also couldn't wait anymore and wanted to go out as Robin again.

 

"I can see you are worrying Dami, I promise you it's going to be alright. We can do a short patrol?"

 

"It could be a good for your health indeed." Damian did not add that he was also weirdly anxious about going out again. He never once felt that before going out on patrol, even the first time he had wear the Robin's mantle.

 

He started to wonder if something was wrong with him. Was he broken? The youngest started to notice how even little things could startled him easily, how just going outside was looking scary.

 

He had refuse to acknownledged it for a few weeks now, scared to be put aside again. Richard had promise him it was normal to not feel fine, that all this would take time but was the older man really going to keep him once he noticed how useless and broken Damian was.

 

But he wasn't in the league anymore, right? Richard had say that he would never treat the youngest like that. If Damian was injured, Richard would let him rest, if the youngest was sick, the older man would make sure he was warm and safe.

 

So maybe Damian could speak about that to his older brother without any risk of getting kicked out. Richard had promised that if something was broken they could fix it together so it must mean he could fix Damian, make him good again. (make him usable.)

 

"Dami?" Richard's voice pierced through the fog that had settled in his mind.

 

"Yes we can go."

 

"You're sure everything is fine?"

 

Damian nodded, gathering his gloves and putting them on. He tried to ignore the worry on the other man's face. The youngest would be fine, it was nothing.

 

And so that's how Damian was now jumping from rooftop to rooftop. He felt happy, it was as if he was floating. Nothing mattered at the moment, only him and Richard.

 

The older man had defy Damian for a race. The first one to touch one of the high roof in front of them would be the winner. The youngest had train for that, he never won a race like that against Richard. In the past it was bothering him, he needed to be better, he couldn't lose to who he had once call a stray dog.

 

But now that him and Richard grew closer he wanted to win because that meant he had progress, because it was that precious little competition between him and Richard that had first began when Damian had tried to kill the older man and to not let it affect them, they had turned this into something nice and safe.

 

It was a rare thing Damian allowed himself to appreciate and seek for. It wasn't useless, he told himself. That was a way of progressing, it was benefic, not some useless feelings or lost of time.

 

As he felt the air hitting his face, Damian smiled. Richard was telling Damian to go faster, that he knew Damian could do it. So that's what the youngest did, he pushed himself past his own limits and for once the aching in his heart ceased to exist.

 

Nothing mattered but the little seconds between a jump from a roof to another. Those little floating seconds where it felt like he could fly.

 

In the past he had once ask Richard why did the older man loved to jump and do all sort of acrobacy. And back then his older brother had replied that it felt like he could fly, that he was free and unbound to anything. Damian did not understandd back then but now he did.

 

But not even that feeling of freedom could win against the feeling of being with Richard, being Robin and Nightwing, just them being together was everything for the youngest. And this he would cherish until the day he die. Or until they erase his memory, once again... (And he would do anything to keep it, anything.)

 

Damian loved the older man, he never acknownledge it until recently, until just seeing Richard happy and being near him, filled a void in his heart. He wasn't sure what exactly but he just knew he felt less empty, something had been fixed in him and all this was thanks to Richard.

 

One last jump and Damian touhced the rooftop. He nearly won, Nightwing only had arrive a second earlier.

 

"Wow Robin I'm impressed, since when did you get that good? I should start training more, I can't let you win." Richard playfully elbowed him.

 

"Don't get ahead of yourself. I will win. I am younger and will only grow stronger." Damian huffed.

 

"Sure thing. I can't wait to beat your ass again."

 

"That wasn't a beating, you only won because you know the city better than me." Damian protested. It was a big advantage for Richard, if they were in Gotham the youngest would had win.

 

"Oh you wanna play dirty. Then remember that my shoulder is injured." Richard grinned. Knowing that Damian could not counter arguments that.

 

"Tt, I will still win once you recovered."

 

"Sure thing kiddo."

 

As they both took their breath again, listening to the city below them. Damian stared at Richard, the older man looked happy and everytime he looked at the youngest his smile widdened.

 

And why did this made Damian happy? Why did it filled him with an unexplained joy? Damian had try to not care for the older man, but now, it was undeniable that he was fond of him.

 

The strange thing is that he did not view Richard as an older brother, calling the older man that felt.... Wrong? Richard wasn't his older brother, Damian care for him more than but he already had a fath-.

 

Damian shut those thoughts, he couldn't. It wasn't important. He was safe and that's all that matter. Feelings were not... allowed...

 

"You okay?" Richard asked. As if he knew Damian thoughts, as if the older man knew Damian more than the youngest knew himself.

 

"Yes, I was just," Damian looked up at the sky, as if it would gave him some answers. "Thinking."

 

"I'm here if you wanna talk about what's going on in your head."

 

"I know but it is nothing important. I shouldn't let my-"

 

"Nope, you let yourself feels whatever you want and whatever you need. We need to have a serious conversation about that."

 

"It is not necessary, if I go back there all this will make me weaker."

 

"Da-Robin, I swear you will never go back there. I will fight hell and heaven for that. If you do not want to go back then you will never go back."

 

"I-" Damian was unsure what to reply. Was he really going to be able to escape the league? It never had been a possibility for him. He knew the league, knew they won't let their perfect shaped toy far away for too long.

 

But maybe if they saw how useless had Damian became then maybe he would be free? Or they would kill him. There was a sharp pain in his chest. He felt like he was stuck, like there was no escape.

 

It was just a question of time, he could never leave happily with Richard. They would want him. A whine escaped his lips without his permission. The youngest quickly clamped a hand to his mouth. He try to hold it in, forcing his already painful throat to not let out more pityful noises.

 

But it failed, the whine quickly turned into a sob. Richard was already by his side.

 

"Breath sweetheart. You are safe right now. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

 

Damian turned his head to look at Richard's eyes but those same eyes were covered with a mask. He could not see them and it strangely made the panic grew wider. He whined louder this time. His chest hurted, it felt like his heart was getting squeezed tightly.

 

"Shh, none of this, you are going to hurt yourself."

 

Damian did not understand why Richard said that. The older man then gathered him in his arms, slowly rocking him back and forth.

 

"We are going to go home yea? But going home does not mean we will never go out again yea? I'm so proud of you sweetheart. Now let's get back and rest, we both deserved it."

 

Damian nodded, this wasn't the end, Richard was proud of him, they would go out again. Richard was proud, Damian did not fail. he was proud of him, someone was proud of him. He did not fail. He wasn't a failure.

 

After that the youngest did not recall how they made it home. Strangely he did not hate what happened. Maybe the end of the night ended up bad but the moment before had been amazing and this Damian would try to cherish it.

 

Richard had helped him get out of the Robin's suits, making sure to not touch directly Damian's skin. This little gesture made the youngest grateful for how mindful the older man had been since the begining.

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Richard asked, voice soft but with a hidding concern. As they were now sitting on the couch, the older man was dressed in a sample pair of sweatpants and black loose shirt.

 

"I just don't know how you would be able to keep me safe from the league, you don't know them. They will do anything to get me back. They are stronger than you think." Damian stated. The league wasn't weak. They were vicious and sneaky. Loyal was not in their vocabulary. Trusting the league was like giving them a dagger, turning your back and hopping for the best.

 

"And you also underestimate all of us. Don't forget you have the whole family with you, I'm sure even Superman would land a hand. I can't say about the whole justice league but I'm sure if needed B would be able to convince them. You are not alone anymore Dami, people care for you."

 

The youngest did not believe that anyone would want to save him. Father would be better without him. Drake would finally be alone and free of Damian. Maybe Todd would try but only because Richard would ask him and Damian had notice how soft Todd could become around Richard.

 

"I'm not sure, I had cause a lots of trouble to everyone, they are probably better without me."

 

"Nonsense Dami, I do not want to hear you say that ever again about yourself. I love you so damn much and many people know how amazing you are and if they dare question it, I'll knock some sense back into them." Richard slighlty raised his voice.

 

Damian huffed a laugh, not quite believing yet but amused that Richard put so much heart into that sentence.

 

"If you say so Richard, I will believe you." He would try at least.

 

"Nice, I'll remind you every single hours if I need to. And don't even tempt me cause you and I know damn well, I'll do it." Richard grinned and Damian knew he shouldn't mess with that or the older man would made sure to keep his promise.

 

"I do not doubt it, please spare me the headache."

 

Richard laughed at that before kissing the top of his head. "I love you sweetheart, don't forget that."

 

"I, also care a lot for you Richard."

 

He heard Richard make a noise before the older man squeezed him tighter. "Wanna sleep with me tonight Dami? I kinda want you around but if you don't want, it's your right."

 

"Who in their right mind would let an injured person sleep alone." Damian said, fully knowing that this was just an excuse.

 

Richard made a small snort before standing and extending his hand for Damian. The youngest took it and followed the older man to his bedroom. They were quickly in bed as they were both exhausted.

 

Damian made sure to stay as close as possible but without pressing on Richard's injured shoulder. The youngest felt asleep quickly to the soothing sound of Richard's heartbeat, a proof that he was still breathing, that Damian wouldn't be alone in that... Scary world.

Chapter Text

Dick :

 

Dick had woken up to sound of Damian whining. Alerted by the noise the older man, slowly tried to wake up the youngest from his nightmare. When the boy opened his eyes, he stared at Dick wide eyed.

 

"It was a nightmare sweetheart, you're safe."

 

The youngest sighed before moving back into Dick's arms, head finding his chest. The older man tried to calm his heartbeat to not scare Damian. It seemed to work as the boy relaxed into his hold and soon enough there was soft slow breaths coming out of his mouth.

 

Well apparently Dick would stay in bed some more as the boy was asleep on him. It was sad but somehow funny how the only time Damian had nightmares while sleeping with him was because the youngest's head had moved away from his chest.

 

Dick had not expected the sound of his heartbeat to be something that important for the kid. That was so precious and adorable. As he lay in bed he heard his phone vibrate for a while. Not wanting to move and wake up the boy, he had told himself that if it was important they would call again and well maybe he should had pick up because almost immediately his phone vibrated again.

 

Dick carefully tried to grab his phone without waking up the youngest and well it failed.

 

"Sorry Dami, it's just I need to-" Dick frozed as he saw that Tim was the one calling and that he had already receive ten messages from the teenager.

 

He immediately answered. "Tim, you fine?" He asked and this sentence, had chase away the little sleep Damian had left in, as the youngest was now staring at him. Also waiting for answers.

 

"I- Dick, I don't know." The teenager cried out.

 

"Hey, Tim what's wrong?"

 

"No-nothing, I just wanted to hear you." Tim replied in between sobs, his younger brother was clearly trying to hold them back. Every bells where now ring in Dick's mind.

 

"Are you injured?"

 

There was a blank.

 

"Tim, hey are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine, don't worry."

 

Dick heard movements on the other side of the call.

 

"What happened?"

 

"Nothing, really. I just wanted to call you." And now Tim's voice was back to normal but Dick knew the teenager was everything except fine.

 

"Tim, you can tell me. I'm listening and I won't judge no matter what it is."

 

"There is nothing Dick. Can we just change subject."

 

"I'm sorry but I just want to be sure you are safe. Are you sure you are not injured?"

 

"Gosh Dick leave it."

 

"Tim what happened, tell me where you are I'm coming." Dick was already getting ready to move.

 

Tim sighed angrily on the other side. "No, I'm gonna hang up. I just called you because I wanted to hear you but I think that was a mistake. I should go no-"

 

"Tim wait! I won't ask question alright? Let's just talk about whatever you want."

 

"Thank you."

 

The youngest had been staring at him with a questioning gaze but in all honesty, the older man knew no better what was happening. Dick looked back at Damian with a raise of shoulders. The youngest got closer, trying to listen to the conversation but Dick stopped him.

 

Tim had the right to have his own privacy. The older man signed to Damian to give him some privacy and that he would join soon. The youngest rolled his eyes before leaving the room. At that same moment the teenager spoke again.

 

"How is everything going with Damian? Is he... Better?"

 

"There is progress, it's still far from good but it's a good start. Those type of things takes time."

 

"I guess." Tim replied with a voice that sounded odd.

 

"And yo- I mean, uhm... How is Bruce doing?" And Dick wanting to punch himself for bringing Bruce up.

 

"Fine I guess or as fine as he could do. Not like I could know anyway or," There was a pause before the teenager spoke again. "He looks, happier? I don't know, like it's weird af if you ask me but something is different. He is still brooding but it's seems less? Bad? Sad? Or whatever you want."

 

Dick hummed, suddenly remembering what Damian had say back then. Had Bruce really found someone without telling him? But who was he kidding, had he tell Bruce that he had been making out with his other son? Nope, so he shouldn't feel hurt that Bruce did not share either.

 

His adoptive Father was an adult, he did not have to tell everything to Dick. A part of him wanted to dig into that. Found who it is, make sure they are safe (and a part of him wanted to scare them off)

 

"No but like wait, Dick, I actually saw him smile at his phone!! Do you know how creepy that thing is? B smiling. Maan I'm gonna have nightmare about that."

 

Dick huffed a laugh. "Poor you, so traumatized."

 

"Yes! And when he saw me, he cleared his throat and pretended nothing happened! Does he think I'm an idiot?" Tim was now laughing, his earlier saddeness forgotten or at least put aside for now.

 

"Well if something is making him happy, isn't it good?" Dick asked even if a part of him, a selfish one did not want to share Bruce with anyone. What if it made them grew appart even more?

 

"I guess, it's just so unusual. He had been depressed since Damian's... Situation. But now he is back to his usual brooding and not the creepy one. I mean it still wasn't as bad as when Jason died but I swear I sometime thoughts he gonna fall back into bad habits."

 

Dick's heart sank at that. He had completly forgot that Tim still live with him, that Tim had been living with Bruce griefing the fact that Damian had been hurt "because" of him.

 

"I'm sorry Tim, I should had been there, gosh I'm so sorry."

 

"Hey, hey don't even start. It's fine you had to take care of Damian, the brat needed you. Don't worry about me I'm fine."

 

"No Tim, it's not fine. I should had been here for yo-"

 

"Come on you are already keeping this whole family alive. You can't be everywhere." Tim reassured him but Dick still felt guilty. He should had been here, Tim was too young, he needed to live his life, not deal with Bruce's bullshits.

 

"Still, I am sorry for not doing better."

 

"Nah, don't. I'm not even mad or anything. You are doing what you need to do and I think you're still doing amazing."

 

"Thanks Tim. I promise you we will catch only you and me soon. Maybe next time I bring Damian over, you could come here with me while I let Damian at the manor."

 

"I like the sound of that." Tim was probably smiling. "Well, I- Thanks for calling and sorry for earlier but I'll need to go now. Was nice speaking to you. Take care Dick."

 

"Take care too Timmy, I'm here if you need anything, don't forget."

 

As the teenager hang up, Dick was no able to see the missing message. They were all asking if Dick was there, if he was free to call, that it was urgent. The older man couldn't help but wonder what had been bothering the teenager for weeks now.

 

He realy needed to dig into that but he also needed to take care of Damian and to think more about his relation with Jason and actually try to meet up with the younger man. He also needed to speak with Bruce. Then there was his work and he needed to patrol more because it had been a while since he had to stay home with Damian.

 

He had ask Wally to take care of his city for some days in the week but he couldn't annoy his bestfriend every single time with that. He would also need to invite Wally for dinner just to repay his bestfriend for his kindness.

 

Ugh all this was giving him a headache. He put all those things aside and focused back on Damian that was in the living room right now.

 

"Is Drake alright?" The youngest asked.

 

"I... I don't know. I don't think so. Have you noticed anything weird while you were at the manor?" Dick had completly forgot he wanted to ask that question already a few days ago.

 

Damian looked up, thinking back about his weekend there. "Drake had been silent. He did not speak or fight with me. I had find it odd but did not pay much more attention to it."

 

Dick nodded to himself.

 

"And also, he had been doing mistakes. On patrol, I heard Father scolding Drake for being careless about some tracking he had done. And it is odd that Drake do not pay attention to simple things. He is imcompetent but I can recognize that he is always careful in his work."

 

That was making the older man even more worried. Something must had happened for Tim to be that affected. As sad as it was the teenager had always been able to manage things even with depression.

 

Tim had gotten better but it looks like something had affected the teenager badly again. Dick needed to help him but there was also Damian and Jason.

 

He sighed. "I'll see if I can make him speak. If for whatever reason you meet him again, please be kind. I know you two have some... Conflict but please, Tim is really in a fragile headspace right now and anything could make him fall lower and we don't want that."

 

Dick remembered that one night when he almost lost Tim. The older man does not want this to happen again. He would try to text Tim daily, maybe he could try to warn Bruce but this may make Tim not trust him anymore. He wanted to scream. Why was everyone in this family never saying anything.

 

"I understand. I am not that heartless Richard."

 

"I know Dami, I just want to make sure. I am tired of misunderstanding in this family."

 

Damian nodded. "Todd is closer than us, he could check on Drake."

 

Dick laughed internally, asking Jason to check on Tim was stupid. The teenager would be more scared than reassured and Jason would probably curse him. And that if Jason even care.

 

"I don't think that's a good idea but nice try I guess."

 

"Why?" Damian asked and it sounded so genuine.

 

"Do you think Tim would be fine with the man that tried to kill him and Jason would not want to check on the boy he think stole his place and even less go back into the manor to check on Tim."

 

"That make sense."

 

"I will find something, don't worry Dami."

 

The youngest looked sceptically at him. "You should rest too Richard."

 

"I am fine." Dick smiled and hoped it looked reassuring.

 

Damian huffed before standing. "I will go take a shower, I believe you need to leave for work soon?"

 

"Yes, I need to." Dick sighed. he did not want. He was exhausted and putting up with all the assholes at his work was going on every single one of his nerves.

 

Damian went to hug him. "Take care and comeback home."

 

Gently patting the youngest's hair, the older man let himself relax in the embrace. "Thanks Dami, I will. We can patrol again tonight if you feel like it."

 

"Yes, if your body is in capacity of doing so, I would love to."

 

"Alright then it settled."

 

The youngest left for his room soon after that. Dick headed toward his shower with an already growing headache. He took a quick shower as he was already late and quickly headed to his car after saying goodbye to Damian.

 

His work had been exhausting, his superior that obviously did not like him, had force Dick to do all the paperworks. The older man was currently this close to bang his head on his desk. Fuck everyone and fuck those damn papers.

 

When he finally finished, because yes he passed the whole day doing those. He went home, hopping Damian was fine, that nothing happened. What if the youngest had hurted himself? What if he had a panic attack? So many questions that did not help his migraine.

 

Dick was someone that easily got migraines. It could be from stress or just because of exhaustion. Sometime he wasn't even sure they started but regardless it was hell.

 

So when he stepped inside his appartment and saw Damian peacefully drawing on the table. Relief flood through his body. Nothing bad happened, Damian was fine.

 

The youngest looked up. "I made dinner. Or I tried to at least."

 

Oh gosh that kid was the best. "Thank you Damian. Lemme go change real quick."

 

Damian went back to his occupation while Dick headed toward his room. the older man felt slightly sick but this was probably because of his headache. He tried to drink water on the way before walking back into the living room and noticing how the youngest had already served both of them.

 

Dick sat down, so damn relieved he would not have to use his brain capacity until later that night. And well maybe he should had rest and tell Damian they could patrol tomorrow.

 

Because all it took was a stabbing headache to miss a jump and fell face first on the ground or he should say his injured shoulder first. Also scaring the youngest on the way.

 

"Nightwing!"

 

The pain in his head did not stop for a few seconds. "I- please, don't yell."

 

"Are you okay?" Damian whispered once he was close enough.

 

"I think nothing too bad." Dick could litterallly feel his shoulder cry and tell him how stupid that was but he tried to not show it. And who was he to think he could fool Damian. The kid was bad with emotions but knowing when someone is injured was his speciality. So good that even Tim could not fool the youngest.

 

"What is hurting you? What happened?"

 

"Just a headache while I was about to jump, made me land bad. I'll be fi-"

 

"No." Damian said firmly. "It is not fine, you were lucky that it was a rooftop and not the street down there. If you were feeling that unwell you should have told me."

 

"I didn't expect it to be that bad."

 

"Le-let's go home, we need to check if you have any injuries."

 

Dick sighed, there was no running away from that. So they both went back. Thanksfully they had patrol for a few hours already, stopping a few rogues. Dick would have wanted to stay longer but he knew that it was wiser to go home.

 

As they made their way inside their base, Damian immediately went to grab the first aid kit. Funny enough the older man noticed that Damian was imitating him. The way the youngest was standing near him, hand on Dick's shoulder. Saying a few recomforting words as he check for any injuries. Or even warning Dick before applying some alchohol on the wounds on his face. A year ago, Dick would had never thought this could happen.

 

And that was cute but a bit creepy to see how he looked like to others.

 

"I'll sleep near you tonight. There is no sign of serious injuries but I need to be sure." Damian stated, as he wrapped a bandage aorund Dick's shoulder.

 

The older man bited back a smile. "Alright doctor."

 

The youngest rolled his eyes to that before stepping foward and giving a brief hug to Dick. "You should go shower, I will wait for you upstairs and with that the youngest left.

 

Dick tried to do fast, he could not let Damian alone for too long or the youngest was going to start worrying if anything happened to Dick. As he walked back up in his appartment, he saw Damian moving his blanket and pillow to Dick's room.

 

"What are you doing, Dami?"

 

"I do not want to stay near you and possibly injure you." Damian stated.

 

"You don't need to, I'm fi-"

 

"You said you were fine and looked where it bring us." Damian raised a brow. "Well, then it settled."

 

Dick took back his word, it was a bit of him with a big part of Bruce. That stupid temper and look of "I told you so, you should have listen to me". Damian was still going to be a mini Bruce.

 

"If you say so." Part of Dick was also embarrassed that the kid was taking care of him like he was the actual adult. But Dick was still young, sue him for doing mistakes.

 

As Damian had carefully rearrange Dick's bed, the older man could finally lay down after the youngest had give him some medecine for his headache. (And made sure that Dick actually took them.)

 

"Goodnight Richard." Damian had whispered, eyes fixed on him.

 

"Sleep Damian, I would be fine."

 

"I need to watch over you."

 

"Come on Dami, you need to rest."

 

"No!" The youngest yelled a bit too loud, making Dick flinched at the sudden pain in his head.

 

Damian immediately apologiesed. "Sorry, I'm sorry. I did not mean to yell."

 

"It's fine I know. I'm not mad."

 

"I just do not want anything bad to happen to you Richard."

 

"And nothing bad would happen, I just fell because of my headache and you took care of my shoulder. Now I am fine, you can rest and stay near me." Dick reassured, softly rustling the boy's hair.

 

A little voice replied to him. "Are you sure?"

 

"Yes sweetheart. Let's rest together yea? If I feel anything weird I'll wake you up, how does that sound?"

 

Damian nodded, grabbing Dick's hand before sliding it between his cheek and the pillow. The weight of the youngest's head in his hand felt grounding. Dick relaxed, closing his eyes.

 

"Goodnight Dami. Sleep well."

 

"Goodnight."

 

And with that Dick let himself drift to sleep, knowing that the youngest won't allow himself to rest before knowing that the older man was safely asleep. Dick was lucky to have Damian in his life.

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

Damian had been doing alright, the day had started fine. Richard had gotten better and his shoulder was healing well. Everything was perfect. Or should have been.

 

As Damian went to hug the older man, like he usually do, something had felt off when Richard wrapped his arms around him. A wave of nausea suddenly hitting him. And when Richard placed a hand in his hair, an unwanted image of the older boy holding his hair cameback.

 

He whined loudly, pushing himself away from the older man. Before Richard could even ask what happened Damian was already throwing up on the ground. He felt horrible and guilty for dirtying the floor.

 

The man tried to approach him again but the youngest jumped away and fell on the floor. He was back into those bathroom. The boy was standing infront of him. He begged them to stop. He couldn't do it again.

 

"Hey, breath Dami." A voice said but how could Damian breath when his lungs where burning. He pathetically sobbed, he did not want to be touch again. He wanted to go home. He needed Richard.

 

It could not happen again, he had been good. He needed Robin. He needed to be perfect. He wanted everything to stop, please.

 

As he blindly try to back off. Damian felt something hit his side. The pain cleared his mind for a second, he noticed Richard looking at him worried and unsure of what to do.

 

Damian was safe, no one could hurt him. He was with Richard, in the living room. His left side hurted, he was on the ground but he was safe. The boy wasn't there, it was only Richard and him. He was safe.

 

Damian remembered the exercise Richard taught him to calm down when everything felt too much. The youngest tried to focus, remembering Richard's words. He could do it, he was stronger than that. He wasn't pathetic.

 

Richard had say, focus on three thing you can see and so he tried, ignoring the vivid image in his mind trying to mix with the reality, forcing their way to eat Damian alive. The youngest opened his eyes, he could see the kitchen counter, the tiles on the ground and a chair.

 

Then three things he could hear. His breathing, the cars passing outside in the street and a faint music probably playing also from the street.

 

And lastly three body parts he could move. So Damian slowly turned his hands into a fist, he moved his legs up before hugging them with his arms. After breathing deeply the youngest finally looked up.

 

The older man hadn't move from his position, watching Damian carefully. When their gazes met, Richard's eyes softened.

 

"Back with me Dami?"

 

Damian nodded, standing up carefully. He felt dizzy and remember that he had throw up on the ground a few minutes ago. "I'll clean." He promised. How could he be that disgracious, it wasn't how he was trained, it wasn't how they wanted him...

 

"It's fine, I can do it. Just go sit down for me, I'll bring you water."

 

The youngest listened, mind too tired to protest. He felt stupid and weak but it did not seem to bother Richard so maybe he could allow himself a moment of rest.

 

The older man cameback with a glass of water, that he carefully placed infront of Damian without getting close. "I'm so proud of you Damian."

 

The youngest looked up, confused as why such a praise. "I did nothing but cause you trouble."

 

"You came out of a panic attack by yourself. I think that is a big achievement. Not a lot of people could do that. You can be proud of yourself Dami."

 

Damian scoffed, it was the bare minimum, he should have done it faster and it was only because he hurted his side. "I only followed your excercise." He said.

 

Richard smiled down at him, still not coming closer. "I'm glad it could help."

 

And the older man went to clean Damian's mess. The guilt was back again, it was his mistake to fix.

 

"Richard I can do it." The youngest could not let him clean. Richard was already doing enough, he needed to rest.

 

"Just rest Damian.I'll take care of it."

 

"It is disgusting, you should not do that." Damian stood up but it was already too late. The older man had started to clean, not looking even slightly bother by it.

 

"Sweetheart I promise you it's fine. It can happen. I'm sure you would do the same for me, so let me do you this little favor."

 

Damian wanted to protest, he should clean his mess. If Damian made a msitake then he needed to correct it. No one else. It wasn't acceptable. (It wasn't how they taught him.)

 

"I will pay you back. If you need anything y-"

 

"No Damian, we are family. I don't keep tabs on what I did to help others. You are in pain and unwell, it is normal for me to help you. I don't expect anything in return. And I mean it, you do not need to pay me back for anything. I do it because I want to." Richard said, voice soft but with a sharper edge around it.

 

And the youngest wanted to reply that they were his family too but they never helped him. They only let Damian drown into his own blood. So why should Richard treat him different, Him and Richard weren't even sharing the same blood? Damian was just a burden that had come into Father's life and the sons he actually chose.

 

"I am unsure of that statement." Damian continued, vision unfocused.

 

"Why?" Richard looked confused.

 

"Because I need to fix my own mistakes or I would never learn."

 

That sentence made the older man stare at him strangely, stopping in his tracks.

 

"Damian, sweetheart. Your a child. No child should fix their mistake all alone."

 

The youngest suddenly felt his throat tighten. "I am not a child."

 

"Dami... I know you do not like being called that but being a child is not a mistake. You're only eleven sweetheart, no one expect you to know what to do."

 

Damian would not cry, Richard was wrong, he was better, he needed to be better. "It is what is expected from me. It is my duty, now quite saying nonsense!" And the youngest hadn't meant to yell.

 

Richard looked conflicated. "I- Alright. Let's have this conversation later."

 

"I do not need to have this conversation again." Damian ignored the way his voice broke at the end. The way his heart sank at the way he was direspecting the older man.

 

Richard stayed silent, focusing back on cleaning the ground. The youngest felt ashame and he did not know why. He hated everything. He was mad at the older man for daring to treat him like a child.

 

"All clean now. Maybe you can go take a shower Dami."

 

The youngest did not reply, turning his head the opposite way. If Richard ignored him then Damian could do the same.

 

"Alright, I'll give you sometime alone. You can find me in my room if you need anything. And I love you Dami."

 

The youngest did not reply, ignoring the way his heart broke when Richard did leave the living room. He did not care, Damian had done this to himself, he shouldn't be hurt. He did not have the right.

 

After a few minutes, Damian decided to grab some food before heading for a shower but then remembered that the shower was in Richard's room. It wasn't an option anymore. He sat down on the ground, disappointed with himself. Richard would probably send him back. Damian was too complicated.

 

His mind was back to hunting him so he tried to draw but it did not work his thoughts were focused on how he had been rude to Richard.

 

And all this wasn't acceptable. He needed to apologies. Richard had been kind enough to give him a home and safeplace to stay at, so the bare minimum Damian could do was being kind and helpful.

 

The older man had told him to come seek for him if needed. But even knowing this, Damian still knocked hesitantly before entering when Richard told him to come in.

 

"My apologies for my earlier outburst. It wasn't proper." The youngest spoke while staring at the ground as he did not dare to look up.

 

"I'm not mad Damian. It was something normal. I did way worst at your age believe me."

 

This got Damian's attention, he looked up to look at Richard. "What do you mean, way worst?"

 

This earn a grin from the older man. "I'm sure Bruce is still traumatized. Whenever I was mad at him I use to hang out to the fancy chandelier. Once I actually broke one and injured myself," Richard laughed loudly. "I still remember Bruce's face. He couldn't even scold me properly because I scared him so much."

 

"That was really dangerous and stupid. You, surviving all this is a miracle."

 

"That's only one part. But the rest is secret."

 

"Tt, I don't need to hear more of your lack of common sense." Richard could be really careless sometime, the youngest would need to watch out for that.

 

"Come here sweetheart." Richard opened his arms. "If you're okay with it, of course."

 

The youngest shyly walk on the bed before burrying himself into the older man's arms.

 

"Thank you for being patient with me." Damian confessed.

 

"Always Dami."

 

"I will be better, don't send me back."

 

"I would never send you back Dami. You're staying with me for as long as you want it."

 

"Why do you care for me? I do not share your blood." Damian rested his head against Richard's chest.

 

"Since when had I ever care for blood in this family? Blood does not mean everything. Blood does not excuse everything. Blood does not define who you are. You, not sharing my blood is just a detail. A detail I do not care about. All I know is that I care and love you like my own Dami."

 

Damian's cheeks were suddenly wet but nor him nor Richard commented on it. The older man held him tighter, kissing gently the top of the youngest's head. And then Richard started to hum a song for him. Damian sighed, suddenly aware of how exhausted his body was. Sleep took over him fast enough. He loved being there, safely tucked into Richard's arms.

Chapter Text

Dick :

 

Today was Dick's birthday. He was turning twenty three and as soon as he woke up he was met with Damian sat at a table full of small freshly baked cakes. The oldest also notice that Damian was well dressed. That little gesture made him smile. What a great start.

 

"Happy birthday Richard." Damian greeted.

 

"Aw, thank you Dami."

 

The youngest stood up, quickly rushing to hug him. "Today is your birthday, I expect you to rest and let me do everything."

 

"Am I liked some kind of VIP?"

 

"Yes, now go take a sit." Damian pushed him toward the table. Dick obeyed, amused with the situation. It was cute to see the kid putting that much effort into it.

As he took a bite of what looked like a small creamy cake infront of him, Dick could not help but notice Damian staring at him, the youngest was probably worried if the older man would like it or not. How cute.

 

And he wouldn't need to pretend it was good because he melted at the taste. Damian became so good at baking to Dick's biggest pleasure.

 

"Taste amazing Dami. Thank you."

 

"Tt, don't speak with your mouth full." Damian said as if the youngest wasn't blushing. Dick smiled before looking down at his phone.

 

The device had been buzzing since early this morning. The older man had already received a few texts from his closest friends and one from Tim and Bruce. Funny enough his adoptive father did not apologies, only sending a "Happy birthday son.". Well Dick would take that.

 

"I think you should go dress properly before I give you my gift." Damian said as he stood up.

 

Dick looked down at himself and it's true that he could do better than a worn out sweatpeants and shirt. He nodded to Damian before heading toward his room.

 

As he picked up his clothes he could not help but check his phone once again. Jason did still not call or send him a text. Had he forgotten? The younger man was probably busy, Dick should not feel sad. Maybe Jason did not even remember when Dick's birthday was. It's not like they had been close enough in the past for the younger to know.

 

He stepped inside the bathroom, ignoring his stupid aching heart while trying to forget all his problems for at least a few hours. He needed to enjoy this day, he at least had Damian.

 

In the past his birthday's were usually him and him only. Alone... And it was his own doing, he refused Wally's invitations and his bestfriend had stop asking after years and years of trying. He did not want to bother anyone. Even Tim had try but without much success. Everyone now knew it wasn't something he wanted to celebrate. So it always ended up in him going to a bar and finding the first person he could fuck with.

 

But this year was different, he had Damian.

 

He stripped out of his clothes, stepping a foot inside the shower before turning the water on, unaware of what was happening at same time in his living room.

 

Jason :

 

Jason once again had a stupid idea. Him and Dick had not seen each other for while. The marks on his neck were gone two days ago. Dick probably meant it as a joke but the younger man could use that as an excuse.

 

And Dick's birthday had just happen to be on the way. All in one, perfect. The road was stressful as Jason came unplanned. That was supposed to be a surprise but he also needed to take in count that the brat was going to be here.

 

Truthfully he did not really mind, after learning what happened to Damian. It was only fair if the youngest felt ease to live with Dick. The only problem was that Damian did not like him and he bet the little brat was going to cause him trouble.

 

As he finally came in view of Dick's appartment, Jason hurried to enter and go knock on the door, excited to finally see the older man. And of course it wasn't Dick who opened but Damian, just his luck.

 

"Todd." Damian greeted but still raising an eyebrow.

 

"Brat." Jason imitated him.

 

"Tt, Grayson is showering."

 

"Call him like you normally call him. You gonna hurt his poor feelings and it would be sad on his birthday. No need to play pretend with me, I ain't gonna judge." Jason was not gonna judge because he truly did not care if Damian called Dick by his last name or not, he just wanted to see Dick.

 

But he still found it a bit sad at how the kid always hidded his emotions in presence of other people. Stupid league's training.

 

"Very well. Todd." That's when the kid eyed him down, before smirking. Oh Jason was so going to get insulted in a fancy brat way.

 

"I could say the same for you. Perfume and nice clothes? How unusual. Richard must make you soft if even a street rat like you dress nicely."

 

Jason felt the heat gather in his face. Fuck that damn kid. So what if he had made sure to look nice for Dick's birthday? And no he did not buy clothes only for this and neither did he let the woman from the clothes shop help him to dress properly. That wasn't what happened.

 

He now felt ridiculous and wanted to hide. "Move kid, you no better. You dress like a fancy spoiled brat."

 

"But I'm not ashame of it Todd."

 

Jason was about to shove that damn kid on the ground but stopped when he heard Dick's voice.

 

"Jay? What are you doing here?"

 

And what the hell. Jason's braincells left as everything went south, at the view of Dick with a tight turtle neck, showing all too well is amazing body. Combine that with a pair of jeans that should be illegal because of how nice Dick's ass look in it.

 

Jason cleared his throat. "Happy birthday Goldie."

 

And then Dick smiled, a smile that lighted the whole room. And then that damn brat elbowed him into the ribs.

 

"Stop looking at Richard with your undeserving eyes. His face is up not down."

 

Jason and Dick stared at each other. The younger man was blushing and Dick was clearly amused.

 

"I'm gonna drown you gremlin."

 

"Try me stray." Damian snickered back.

 

"Damian!" Dick scolded. "Do not call Jay like that."

 

To that Jason smirked down at the kid. Damian glared back at him.

 

"But Richard, he called me a gremlin."

 

"Yes and Jason you are the adult here I expect better from you."

 

And ouch, it was the kid turn to smirk.

 

"Alright, you're right." Yes Jason was going to play dirty. His pride? It was fine. It would now be a competion between him and Damian on who would win Dick's atttention.

 

And Jason should had known this would lead to the brat playing extremely dirty with him. Damian kept interrupting every time Jason had a chance to be alone with Dick. The youngest also made sure to give twenty thousand hugs to Dick, while giving that nasty smirk to the younger man. Like the brat never give that much hug! This was clearly just to mess with Jason.

 

They passed the whole day playing board games. It was Dick's idea and he is sure the older man did it on purpose just to see how far Damian and Jason could go. Because him and the youngest knew that they should pretend to be nice with each other or they would lose points in who is Dick's favorite.

 

Right now they were playing Monopoly and Jason and the kid had been too busy to bicker and steal property from one another that they both did not notice how Dick was winning. And once they noticed it was too late.

 

The older man's ego had been push to a whole another level. And to that Damian and Jason could not let it happen. And this was the only time they both agreed to team up.

 

"Grab the pillow brat, I'll make sure he can't run." Jason said before grabbing Dick and pinning him on the ground. The youngest as told, grabbed a pillow and started to hit Dick with it.

 

"You two just jealous I won." Dick laughed, trying to squirm out of Jason's hold.

 

"I have a better idea Todd, keep him there." Damian stated and Jason did not have time to think that the kid was already tickling Dick's side.

 

And yea Jason was proud of the brat's idea. Now they were both tickling the older man, that was laughing like a madman begging them to stop. Dick was trying to push them both away but without much success.

 

"Tell us your victory do not count and we will stop Goldie."

 

Dick grinned at that. "Never." And that bastard, pressed his knee into Jason's side, pushing him away and then grabbing Damian and sending the youngest flying on the couch. "Now you two admit you lost because you both were too busy fighting. I'm just better and that's all." Dick ran, flipping over the kitchen counter and watching them from far away. Body clearly ready to run. And Damian and Jason both knew they stood no chance against Dick escapes ability.

 

"Tt. It's because of Todd that I lost." And the audacity of that kid.

 

"What you mean brat. You just sucks at the game not my fault."

 

"My strategies are amazing, you just jealous you did not win a single game." Damian glared.

 

Jason turned to Dick, he needed his supposed boyfriend to do something. Like help him. "Dick I'll throw him out by that damn window."

 

"Come on Jay, I'll be sad if you do that." And then the older man came closer, face not so far from Jason's one. And he wanted nothing more but to kiss away the stupid grin on Dick's face.

 

The youngest cleared his throat. "I am still here."

 

"Sorry Dami." Dick turned away to look at Damian. "What about giving me my gift? You still did not show me."

 

And Jason would never had thought that he would see the kid actually blush. What was that damn gift about. I mean Jason was no better. He was still shy about buying actual gift for Dick. He always felt like eveything he chose was ridiculous.

 

"I- Not now. Later."

 

Jason smiled, his time to tease the kid. "I'm staying the night brat, it would be sad to give it to Dick when his birthday ended." But that earned him a little elbow from Dick.

 

"Ouch!"

 

Dick did not buy it and raised a brow. "Don't lie I barely touched you."

 

"Ugh fine. Want me to go first kid? I'm as embarrassed as you."

 

"I'm not embarrassed!"

 

"Sure, sure."

 

The youngest cleared his throat, staring at the wall. "I guess you could go first. The best should be at the end."

 

Jason snorted at that. "Whatever gots you to sleep at night."

 

Now there was a big problem. The younger man was too self conscious about his damn gift. And well fuck it, Dick litterally accepted a freaking plushy, his gift wasn't worst than the previous one. It couldn't be.

 

The surprise was a necklace with two birds, one red and one blue. The same that were on the book Dick gifted him some months ago. He had thought about that when the little grandma living near him had complain about not making enough money by selling some custom made necklaces.

 

Since he wasn't heartless he had ask her if it was possible to get one. The old lady had been more than happy and decided to ask Jason twenty thousand question after inviting him for a tea.

 

They had pass the whole afternoon to speak about Dick and believe it or not but the grandma had look a bit too happy that Jason was dating a man. She even offered to do it for free but the younger man refused. She needed money. He tried to give her double the price but she hitted him with a napkin and told him to pay the normal price or pay nothing. (He even suspected she already lowered it but said nothing. Napkins hurt.)

 

After that they had talk about how Jason wanted it and he showed her the book. He wasn't sure how she did it but here it was. Two littles birds in a red and blue color.

 

Jason offered the box to Dick once they were all sat on the couch. Glancing at the kid, Jason only got a reassuring nod from the youngest, no judgement held. Maybe the brat had a heart after all.

 

Dick opened it, eyes softening at the view. Well at least he seemed happy, Jason did not messed up.

 

"Thank you Jay." The older man looked at him, eyes holding words they could not say out loud. Not now at least.

 

"I'm glad you, uhm liked it." Yes Jason was blushing, looking away to calm his racing heart.

 

And when he turned back, Dick already had the necklace on him. Jason's heart did something it wasn't allowed to. Feeling all warm and fuzzy. (And a little bit possessive but deny would tell you otherwise.)

 

"Your turn brat."

 

"If I hear you laugh, I am stabbing you." Damian warned and Jason was for sure not going to laugh, the kid had been kind, he could be too.

 

When the youngest handed the wrapped gift, Jason noticed how shaky the boy's hands were.

 

Dick slowly unwrapped it. Revealing what looked like a sketch books. And wow when the older man opened it, they were met with the most beautiful drawing Jason had ever seen. (Maybe because it was Dick in it and just a tiny bit of the brat's talent.)

 

Damian had draw the oldest on every pages. Some of them were portraitd and some were drawing of Dick and Damian on a rooftop. Dick smiling, Dick focused on something. All that just made by a single tiny boy. Jason was impressed.

 

"Damn kid, never expected you to be that good at drawing."

 

"I- thank you Todd." Damian said shyly and then they heard a sniff and yes Dick was crying. His big cry baby of a boyfriend.

 

"Aw come on Goldie." Jason teased, hands grabbing one of Dick's one.

 

"Thank you so much you two." Those teary eyes looked at them before smiling softly.

 

Damian was already hugging Dick, tightly squeezing the older man. "Do you not like it?"

 

"No Damian, I love it."

 

"Then don't cry please." The kid said with a small voice.

 

Dick gave a short laugh before kissing the top of Damian's head. "I'm not crying cause I'm sad sweetheart. I'm just really touched by your gift. It's amazing and full of love, thank you."

 

Seeing Dick like... That, was a sight Jason wasn't used to. You could almost think Damian was his child. Dick made eye contact with him, smiling softly at Jason. They stared at each other for a while until Damian moved, sitting back on the couch.

 

"I only took a small size one because I wasn't sure if I could finish it in time. I would do better next time." Damian stated as if it was a normal thing to say after someone just cried their heart out at how much they loved their gift.

 

"No Damian, I do not want you to do better next time because this is already amazing. Small or giant I do not care, the most important is that you put heart into it and this would be enough. You are already doing amazing Dami."

 

"If you say so."

 

"Come on brat. No one can do a better gift than that. You won on that. Your gift was indeed the best." Jason praised, even if admitting out loud was like giving a free win to Damian. But come on, the kid self esteem is low, Jason wasn't that much of a bastard to just let it happen.

 

"Tt, I told you." Was Damian answer as he stood up to go throw the wrapping paper in the trash. So hoping for a thanks was too much apparently.

 

"Watch your mouth kid. I was kindly planning to take you and Goldie out to a restaurant for his birthday but I might change it to only me and Goldie."

 

Dick sighed, rolling his eyes and standing up at his turn to probably go put away the gifts.

 

"Richard would never let you." Too much confidence in that sentence.

 

And Jason looked up and understand where the confidence come from, of course Dick wasn't going to let the kid.

 

Jason sighed. "I'm gonna jump."

 

"Jay, don't jump, you need to pay." Dick fucking replied from the other side of the room.

 

The younger man shouted back offended. "Well fuck you."

 

Dick laughed before coming back to pull Jason into a hug. "I'm joking," He then whispered into his ear. "I'll make sure to make it up to you."

 

And once again Jason felt his blood rush in the wrong direction.

 

"Ew, not when I'm here." The youngest protested.

 

"Oops seems like you need to go brat, me and Dickie gonna give you a little sibling."

 

Dick gave him a light punch to his shoulder. "Jason?!"

 

Jason just winked.

 

To that Damian's nose srunched up in disgust. "Gross. You are not going to do anything with Richard. You do not deserve to even breath near him."

 

"I know, kid, I know."

 

And this looked like it wasn't the answer Damian wanted as he looked surprise at Jason. "Wha- whatever. When are we going Richard?"

 

"I don't know ask Jason." Dick smiled.

 

"Tt, very well. Todd when are we leaving?"

 

"Are you two hungry?"

 

Damian nodded before looking at Dick that confirm the answer.

 

"Well then I guess now. Careful kid, I'm only buying expensive stuff to Dick. You gotta ask nicely if you want to eat."

 

The kid without a surprised, glared at him. Jason just smiled politely.

 

"Come on you two, let's go. I'll drive since I guess you came with a bike?" Dick asked while reaching for the key of his car.

 

"Yea."

 

"Alright. If anyone need to go to the bathroom it's now, we leaving in five minutes."

 

Jason was tempted to reply a, Yes mom. But kept himself from doing so.

 

The younger had look a few days ago about what restaurant would be nice to bring Dick to. He knew he could have asked the older man but it's just felt wrong, so he passed a few hours trying to see what was the best.

 

The one they were heading to, had the best review. Food was good and waitress and waiter were kind. They even had some tables that were made for couples, with a large sofa allowing everyone to sit next to each other. It sounded perfect right? Him the brat and Dick.

 

Or well until it was Jason and his luck on that. The waitress, looking like in her fifties, came to them and Jason could smell trouble just from here.

 

"Hello, did you come with a reservation"

 

Jason nodded.

 

"Oh yes I remember you, the young man but where is your girlfriend? Should we switch you to a normal table." She smiled.

 

Jason felt Dick tense behind him. "Actually I am here. His boyfriend." Dick said flashing a polite smile.

 

The lady smiled dropped for a second before coming back but forced this time. Nice before they were flirting with Dick now he is getting the homophobic one.

 

"I- Alright. Follow me." The lady was clearly eyeing them down. "Is this your child? It must be hard for him to live with two fathers."

 

It was Damian turned to glare. "That is none of your business."

 

And for once Jason would let the kid be rude. "The kid is right. We are just here to eat, not explain our lifes."

 

"No need to be rude, I was just saying." She laughed leaving them to their table.

 

"Ugh sorry, I did not know they were not friendly with-." Jason sighed. What a good way to ruin the day. He felt guilty.

 

"Don't worry Jay. Let's just enjoy and show them how happy we can be. And don't forget our kid is right here." Dick teased, taking Damian's hand to help him setlle on the sofa while ignoring the youngest's protests.

 

"Todd would never be anything near my father."

 

"I feel the same brat."

 

"Aw see you two are getting along, isn't it cute?" Dick apparently decided to be really annoying.

 

"Shut up."

 

Dick gaze held something Jason would call "I'm gonna mess up with you". "Don't curse infront of our kid."

 

"Dick I'm really gonna shove something up-"

 

"Todd, I do not want to hear the end of this sentence."

 

"But me I would love to." Dick dared to reply.

 

Both Jason and Damian made an exhausted noise.

 

Their little moments soon got interrupted by another waiter. "What would you order?"

 

And the scene that followed most had scare that poor man because it was the brat looking for the most expensive thing, and Jason refusing everything while Damian cursed at him in arabic, to which Jason understood and replied because he fucking lived there and Dick looking at the poor waiter with a sorry expression.

 

"I would be right back with your orders" the man had say, clearly hurrying to leave. Dick slapped the younger man and Damian's back of head.

 

"Gosh can't you two behave, everyone is looking at us."

 

"I take back what I said Todd. Richard is apparently my knew mother."

 

Jason laughed a bit too loudly at that, catching the faintest glimps of a smile on Damian's face. But this earned even more glares from other customers. Dick rolled his eyes, giving up already.

 

When the food was finally served they ate in a comfortable vibe. Or what Jason would call comfortable, which was him and Damian arguing on who is the best in various categories while Dick was in a mix of being done and amused with them. (Jason could maybe even dare to say with a fond expression.)

 

Once the whole dinner came to an end and they said goodbye to their new favorite waitress, making sure to hold their hand tightly while keeping Damian close. (Her face was worth all the rudeness.)

 

They walked back to their car, buying ice cream on the way. They ate in silence, enjoying the sky and gazing up at the stars. The way back to Dick's appartment was peaceful, Damian had surprisingly fallen asleep, leaving Dick and Jason with an opportunity to get closer.

 

The younger man shyly slided his hand into Dick's one on the wheel. The older man squeezed tightly. "Thank you for today Jay. It was amazing."

 

"Don't thanks me. It's the bare minimum." Jason blushed.

 

"You're staying tonight?"

 

Jason hummed. "But I need to leave early tomorrow, problem at... Work."

 

Jason had some criminals to take care off as Red hood, because they apparently think he was blind and wouldn't see them using his name in his back.

 

"Alright. Sleep with me tonight?"

 

Okay, Jason know Dick meant it as litteral sleeping but he couldn't help the way his heart sank. "I- uh yes."

 

"Sorry, I should had make my sentence more clear."

 

"I know don't worry."

 

"I worry, I made you uncomfortable." Dick squeezed his hand once again.

 

"You did not. I mean not really. Was just my mind."

 

"I will be more mindful in the future. I'm sorry once again for not thinking better."

 

"Dick come on, really. It's not the end of the world." Jason reassured, it was fine. Dick was litterally so kind with him, this was just a little mistake.

 

"I know but it's still important for me."

 

"Alright, alright. I accept your apologies happy?"

 

"Yes very." Dick turned his head to smile before focusing back on the road.

 

Once they arrived home. He litterally saw Dick picking up Damian, shushing him gently to go back to sleep. And what the hell? Since when had those two got this familiar with each other and mostly since when the brat had let his guard down around Dick?

 

"Hey, Jay. Can you go open the door. Kinda would be hard with him in my arms."

 

"Sure." Jason grabbed the key, walking up the stairs until he could unlock the door and step inside the appartment. He was about to turn on the light but remembered that the kid was sleeping so he decided to let them turn off. See he could perfectly be kind to Damian.

 

He closed the door behind them, then he followed Dick to the kid's room. He watch the older man gently lay the youngest down. Damian catched Dick's hand, making him sit on the bed.

 

"Goodnight sweetheart. Sweet dreams. Me and Jay would be in my room if you need anything."

 

"Goodnight. Don't make me hear things I shouldn't hear." Damian replied, glancing at Jason to make sure he got his point across. Dick chuckled, kissing the top of Damian's head before standing up.

 

"Goodnight to you too kid." Jason rolled his eyes when he got no answer.

 

"Goodnight Todd." Damian said as they left the room. And this put a smile on his face nut he would not admit it.

 

Once they were finally alone in Dick's room. Jason hesitantly, hugged the older man from behind as he closed the door.

 

"I missed you." Jason confessed, pressing soft kisses to the back of Dick's neck. He could feel the older man shiver at the gesture.

 

"Me too Jay. I'm so glad you came." Dick turned around, giving him a kiss before guiding them toward the bed.

 

The older man sat first before pulling Jason into his laps. The younger man was now feeling a certain tension in the air. He kissed Dick slowly, savouring the moment. It had been so long since he had felt Dick against him. Gosh that he had missed him.

 

As their mouth moved in sync, body slowly moving against one another, Jason slided a hand in Dick's hair, patting them gently. After a few quick pecks, their kiss quickly turned hungrier. Dick's hands were now resting on his hips, slowly moving up and down, caressing his side.

 

"Dick, gosh." Jason sighed when he felt the older man's lips pressed into his neck, sucking a mark into.

 

"You look so pretty today. Do you know how hard it was to not stare at you?"

 

"No tell me." Jason felt greedy, he needed Dick, needed to hear that the older man wanted him too.

 

"Everytime I looked at you I wanted to kiss you so damn hard. Was it your plan all along, driving me crazy?"

 

"Didn't meant- to." Jason nearly moaned when his hips automatically pressed down into Dick.

 

The older man's hands slided under his shirt, touching eargerly Jason's burning skin.

 

"You look so hot like that and your thighs gosh." Dick whispered, biting his neck. "The marks are gone, should I make some new ones."

 

"Yes, Dick, touch me please."

 

The older man slow down his movements before cupping Jason through his pants, a shot of pleasure was felt in his body before panic took place. The hand moved faster and Jason suddenly frozed.

 

"I-" He wasn't sure anymore maybe it was a bad idea after all, now Dick was going to hate him and leave him.

 

A hand was quickly press to his cheek while the other one came to grab his hand, the simple fact of not feeling a hand down there had took him out of his spiralling thoughts.

 

"Hey, eyes on me. Take your time and breath. Wanna stop?" Dick asked with a soft voice, one that Jason did not deserve right now after messing up that badly.

 

Jason was suddenly aware of how close their body were, Dick was hard under him, breath fast and pupil dilated. The younger could not stop here, it was unfair.

 

"It's fine you can continue." Jason said even tho the words made him sick. Gripping to his throat and tearing up everything on it's way.

 

And Dick had of course see right through him. "Okay, now the same answer but without you thinking about my well being? It's about you right Jason."

 

"I- Sorry, I don't know anymore."

 

"It's fine Jay, we can stop here."

 

"But you're hard, it won't be comfortable. I shouldn't have iniate all this, I'm sorry." It was his fault, he was stupid and useless. How could he want to give shitty blow jobs to abusive people and not let himself be touch by the most amazing human being that was Dick. He was messed up. He was going to finish his life all alone, no one would want something broken.

 

"None of that Jay. You're well being is more important to me. If you ask me to stop I stop, no question asked." Dick smiled softly at him. Jason's heart was painful, how could he even be this lucky to call Dick his boyfriend.

 

"I'm so sorry." Jason's voice broke and gosh he felt stupid. He shouldn't break, it was years ago, he was better now, he needed to be healed.

 

The older man moved him out of his laps, helping Jason to lay down. Dick only stood up, stretching and taking deep breaths, clearly uncomfortable in his clothes. Jason felt awful, it was his fault.

 

Before he could hate himself too much Dick was already laying down next to him, softly pressing a kiss to his forehead.

 

"I'm not mad, we're fine." Dick reassured.

 

"Sorry."

 

"No need to say sorry Jay. We've reached your limit and it's perfectly fine if you can't go further."

 

"Can I hug you?" Jason asked, unsure if it was a good idea to be near Dick or if it would only hurt the older man more. But he wanted to feel close, he wanted to be held and comforted.

 

"Always Jay."

 

Jason scouted closer, allowing Dick to wrap his arms around him, feeling like he was young again.

 

"I really liked today," Jason quietly confessed as he remember how nice it had feel to be with Dick and even Damian. It had been a really long time since he had that much fun. "Even if the brat was annoying."

 

"I really enjoyed it too, was the first birthday in years I did not pass alone. So thank you."

 

This statement got Jason's attention, how could Dick passes his birthdays alone, the man had quite a few friends and thousand of people willing to hang out with him. "What do you mean by that?"

 

"I... It's complicated. I don't think you wanna hear about it, gonna destroy the image you had of me."

 

"Can't be that bad Dick." And Jason felt the way Dick tensed at that.

 

"I felt so bad back then that I refused to accept my friends invitation to do something on my birthday and I instead got drunk in bars, finding the first man or woman I could pass the night with. You can guess they weren't good people. And all this only to feel awful and disgusting the next day." Dick blurted out.

 

Okay Jason definitely did not expect that. "See, did not change my opinion on you."

 

Dick raised a brow. "If I tell you that B found out and he for while stalked me."

 

Jason choked on nothing. "He what?"

 

"Worst, when I was late to pick up Damian cause I was with you, he asked me twenty thousand questions, telling me how he hope I did not fall back into bad habits." Dick took a deep breath. "I told him, no I did not and he just said "if you say so" like what the fuck. He did not even deny when I asked him if he wanted to do full physical exam or that he was going to take my blood while I'm asleep."

 

Jason felt anger rise into his stomach. How could Bruce even do that to his eldest, Dick was litterally so fucking loyal to him, what else did he wanted?

 

"Dick I'm going to kill him."

 

"It's fine, it's just his way of showing worry."

 

"Come on that's not an excuse for him to be a bitch to you openly and threatening to litterally violate your intimity."

 

"I don't know. I just wished he would understand that I'm trying to do my best."

 

"You're doing amazing Goldie."

 

Dick gave a wet laugh to that. "I hope."

 

"Don't cry because of him. I mean you can cry if you need to- like it's not bad." Fuck Jason did not meant to say that.

 

"I know, I know." Dick laughed louder.

 

"Oh fuck you. I'm trying my best here."

 

"And thank you for that Jay." Dick hugged him even tighter.

 

"You deserve the world Dick."

 

"You're too kind Jason."

 

"You're the only one saying that. No one call me kind anymore."

 

"Nope, last time I came to see you, there was a little grandma all happy that I quote, "The sweet boy living above finally made a friend."" Dick teased.

 

"Ugh come on it's just a grandma, she think I'm kind but doesn't really know me."

 

"I'm sure she do Jay."

 

"Whatever" Jason hidded his blush in Dick's chest. No one liked him, they just did not know how bad the younger man was.

 

And then Dick decided to tease him. "My cute shy boy."

 

Something must be wrong with Jason because this sentence made him feel all hot and shy. "Dick." He groaned.

 

The older man hummed, voice mixed with something that Jason liked a bit too much. And that's how they were now back to kissing. Jason slided a hand under Dick's shirt, enjoying the muscles contracting under his hand.

 

"Jay, we should stop, I don't want to get too excited a second time." Dick sighed in between sloppy kisses.

 

And this made Jason gain some confidence back. The younger man slided his hand lower, grabbing Dick's jeans to pull him close and slide his thigh in between Dick's legs.

 

"You said something about liking my thighs?" Jason teased.

 

"Jay- please, don't make me stop a second time."

 

"Who said I will. I don't need to get off. You can just show me how much you like it."

 

"Are you sure?" Dick eyes flutter shut when Jason apply pressure with his leg.

 

"Yes I'm sure." He whispered, kissing Dick's jaw.

 

And Dick finally started to hump against him, quiet moans living his mouth. Jason grabbed the older man's hair, pulling it back to kiss Dick. He felt a sudden need to make the man below him come just like that.

 

"Jay- tell me you're doing, alright. Please." Dick whined a bit too loudly.

 

"Shh, just like that Dick. Doing so good. I'm feeling amazing here." Jason reassured, unable to take his eyes off the older man's face. How could someone be that beautiful?

 

Dick tightly held onto his shoulder, hips moving faster. "Fuck, I- I'm close. Please don't leave."

 

"I'm here, not leaving." Jason wasn't so sure why Dick was scared about him leaving but if the older man needed reassurance then he could offer that. That was the least he could do, Dick was amazing,, he deserved all the care and love in the world.

 

Listening to his lover's sound of pleasure felt like it could be enough for Jason to release without stimulation but he wanted to focus on Dick, he wanted this birthday to be meaningful for them.

 

"Jason, kiss me. Please"

 

And that's what the younger did, pressing his lips against him, promising safety and love. Dick was quietly moaning Jason's name, making the younger man press his body as close as he could. He loved Dick so much, hearing his name like that was the most beautiful and hot thinng he ever heard.

 

Dick's hips stopped moving before giving one last thrust and fully stilling. Dick released with a small cry against Jason's mouth, grabbing the younger man hand to entwined their fingers together as he came.

 

Once Dick fully released, the older man let himself relax and took back his breath. "Jason why did you make me come in my pant. Ugh it's gonna be hell to clean them."

 

Jason laughed to that as he kissed the top of Dick's head. "Was worthy the view."

 

It was Dick turn to press himself close into Jason's arms.

 

"Happy birthday Dick." Jason whispered.

 

"Thank you, Jay." Dick cuddle up against him, clearly avoiding Jason's waist.

 

And even with that, Jason was still hard and he wasn't sure if he wanted to release or not. Should he do it alone or with Dick? All those things were turning in his head and it was driving him crazy. He should also mention that it was kinda painful but his fear did not give a fuck about that.

 

"You can go shower first if you want." Dick spoke quietly.

 

"I'm not the one who need a shower. I don't think you wanna wait."

 

"I can wait. I think it's more important for you than me."

 

"Dick, I'll be fine." Jason sighed, he did not want to have the older man pity.

 

"I know. I'm just giving you an option where you don't overthink everything. If you get off or not in that shower is your choice. I don't think you being near me is going to help with your guilt of not wanting to hurt my feelings." Dick said, propping himself up on an elbow to stare at Jason and flash him a reassuring smile.

 

"I don't deserve you."

 

"You do, now go take that shower, I'll listen to some music." The older man said, as he grabbed his earphones. "Just don't dirty my wall. It's the only bathroom in the house, don't wanna scare Damian away." Dick joked, clearly trying to lighten Jason's mood and it worked, the younger man snorted.

 

"You're unbelievable," Jason stood up. "Fine, I'll make sure to keep your walls clean." And with a wink the younger left. As soon as he closed the bathroom door, Jason took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts.

 

He decided to turn off the light as he stripped out of his clothes. Seeing himself naked felt like a too big of a challenge right now, being in the dark would work just fine.

 

Jason somehow felt guilty, he had say to himself that he wouldn't do anything sexual ever again and it was stupid, he made that wish when he was even younger so he shouldn't even feel guilty about it but a part of him did not let go. He always struggled to let go.

 

Did this count as self harm? Jason wanted to say no but in truth it probably was because he did jerked off even if he did not like. He did it because it was a way to... Punish himself. That was stupid but it's just how his mind worked.

 

Alone in the dark, he let himself slide down on the ground of the shower, letting the water take away the proof of what he just did. A few tears escaped but he pretend it was the water running down his face, not his tears. He did not feel dirty, just stupid and full of shame.

 

As he came out of that bathroom a few minutes later, dress in his pajamas, Dick was still with his earphones, this made the younger emotional. Dick actually gave him some privacy.

 

Jason sat down on the bed, alerting the older man from his presence.

 

"Hi, Jay." Dick smiled, eyeing him up and down. "Come here."

 

And Jason listened, letting himself get tucked into Dick's arms, his back against the older man's chest.

 

"What's wrong." Dick asked because he always knew when something was wrong.

 

"Nothing." Jason replied, a clear lie to both of them.

 

"Your eyes are red and puffy, you cried."

 

And how could Jason had forget the most basic thing about crying. "I did something bad."

 

"And what is it?" Dick asked softly, kissing the top of his head.

 

"I... When I jerked off." Jason tried to explain, he felt like it was stupid but he continued anyway. "Do you ever force yourself? I mean... Sexually, like you don't want it but you do it cause you... I don't know, make yourself pay for something."

 

The older man rested his chin on Jason's head. "Yea, all the time. Or actually less now but still."

 

"Why do we do this?" The younger asked quietly, eyes watering.

 

Dick sighed before answering. "I'm not sure. I feel like I do it because I know how it can hurt me. How scary something so nice can become. Kinda like self harm, you know it's bad and not healthy but you do it cause you think you deserved it and you know it's something that can hurt you."

 

"Maybe." Jason replied, fixing the wall infront of him. He did not want to think how true that statement could be.

 

And then Dick asked the question that no one wanted to hear. "What made you hurt yourself?"

 

Jason suddenly felt his throat tighten. "It's stupid." And it's what he always reply, everything is always stupid with him.

 

"It never is." Dick whispered.

 

This was enough for Jason to open up because he selfishly wanted someone to care for him, he wanted someone to notice his pain. "When I was young, I said to myself that I would never do it again. And I know we technically didn't do anything but- I just, felt like I broke that not really promise but still promise."

 

Dick hummed. "Valid crash out."

 

Jason laughed at the unexpected answer.

 

"What's so funny?" Dick asked.

 

"Who the fuck reply that?"

 

"I don't know, me apparently?"

 

"Gosh I love you idiot."

 

"Hmm, I love you too." Dick burried his face into Jason's hair. "Your hair are soft and fluffy. Like cotton candy"

 

Jason just chuckled, too tired to bother to reply to that weird statement. His previous pain suddenly forgetten.

 

They stayed in a comfortable silent as Dick was now playing with his hair, stroking them thoroughly.

 

"Lemme go shower now Jay and then we can cuddle properly. I'm still in those damn sticky underwear thanks to a certain someone."

 

"Alright, I'll wait for you here."

 

As the older man left, Jason laid down, making himself comfortable and settling his alarm for tomorrow. He wouldn't had much time to sleep sadly, but he had done worst. And Dick was there, it was the most important. Maybe he could hope to not have nightmares for once.

 

When Dick cameback they wished each others goodnight before cuddling and falling asleep. And Jason would not have nightmares that night. Dick against him was a feeling he wished, he could feel forever.

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

Damian did not like the fact that Todd stayed over. He wanted Richard to be with him, not Todd. And to not help this, the first person he saw when he woke up was Todd. He sighed making his way into the kitchen regardless.

 

"Morning brat, I'm leaving soon, don't bother to glare."

 

The youngest rolled his eyes, watching Todd every movements. He did not trust him. And he was right when the older man asked a strange question.

 

"Quick question kid, have we met before? And I mean before you joined this family."

 

Damian raised brow. How could they have m-. An image. He did not have time to undertsand it before a striking pain in his head hitted him.

 

"You too? You have them?"

 

"Have what Todd?" Damian said angrily, this headache was weird, it was killing him.

 

"The headaches everytime you try to remember your time in the league."

 

"I perfectly remember my time there." Damian did, he wished he could forgot. Years of pain. He had to survive, he only knew how to fight for survival.

 

"I don't mean the training, I mean anything else. Cause I know they trained us to death but don't you think it's weird? I keep having a feeling something is missing and everytime I try to dig, I got those headache that doesn't even feels like real headache."

 

This made something twist inside Damian. He was aware something was wrong but Mother had told him it was part of the training, that it was Damian who chose to forget. Had it been a lie? And the irony is that he couldn't remember if he had chose to forget.

 

"I... I don't know. I think you're right."

 

"So do you think we've met?" Todd ask, taking a sip from his freshly made coffee. And yes Damian had since the begining a weird feeling regarding Todd. The older man was something familiar. The youngest could not explain why. It's just how he felt. Deep down, his body knew but not him.

 

"I am unsure." Damian replied.

 

"But it would be weird right? I don't remember you but I still feel like I know you."

 

Should Damian lie? Could he trust Todd? "I feel the same." His guts told him he could trust Todd with that, so he did. He hoped revealing this would not lead to any problems. But he wanted to understand, the league they had done things to him, things he wasn't even aware of. If Todd may have the answer then he could risk it.

 

"Glad to know I'm not crazy." Todd sighed, looking at the time on his phone. "I would love to find the secrets of the league but I need to go, I have important business to take care of."

 

"Alright."

 

Todd left soon after that. Damian was a bit worried that Richard was still asleep, mostly if Todd had leave. He would had expected the two to say goodbye to each other.

 

Just to be sure the youngest walked to Richard's bedroom, he did not knock, not wanting to wake up the older man if he was actually sleeping. At first Richard looked peacefully asleep but as the youngest stared further he noticed some drips of sweat falling down the man's head.

 

He entered, hurrying to place a hand on Richard's forehead. The skin was burning hot. Not normal. This made Damian worry. He tried to move up Richard but the older man was not waking up.

 

The youngest did not know how to care of someone ill. Richard not waking up was also something he did not like. The older man had seemed alright yesterday? What happened? Damian should had been there, what if Richard never woke up? He could not die, how would Damian do?

 

A tear slided down his face before he could even stop it. he shook his head he could not be weak now, he needed to do something. He quickly grabbed his phone, he had saved Todd number in secret, in case he hurted Richard.

 

He pressed call, hoping that Todd would answer.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Todd you need to comeback."

 

"Hey, kid how did you get my number? And what is wrong with your voice?"

 

"Richard- Richard is not waking up, I suspect fever and I don't know what to do." Damian tried to keep his voice calm and even but he knew he failed.

 

"What do you mean?" Todd groaned. "Oh gosh, I'm coming back. Fuck work at this point." And the man hang up. Leaving Damian all alone.

 

The youngest quickly want back into the room, sitting on the ground, watching the older man. He started to sob, scared and worried.

 

Five minutes later Todd was entering the room. "Hey brat don't cry, Dick gonna be okay yea? Go grab me some towel and a bowl with cold water."

 

Damian nodded, standing up. He tried to calm his shaky hands as he filled the bowl. When he walked back, he noticed that Todd had took off the blanket from Richard. The youngest placed it on the nightstand, heading for the bathroom to grab small towels.

 

"Thanks kid." Todd said, dimping the compress into the fresh water before placing it on Richard's forehead. A little pained noise escaped the oldest's mouth.

 

"Shh, Dick. It's me and Damian." The second whispered. Damian noticed that Todd's gaze was full of worry.

 

"Can you grab me a glass of water. He gonna needs to stay hydrated. We need to try to make him drink as soon as he wake up."

 

So that's what Damian did. Taking the biggest glass he could find before filling it fully. "Here."

 

Todd placed a hand on his shoulder. "He is going to be fine. I'm not good with reassuring words but don't worry kid. i'm glad you called me, you did good."

 

Damian tried to be strong, tried to not cry infront of Todd but he failed. He pathetically sobbed. His heart twisting inside his chest. He should not cry infront of Todd, he was going to use it against Damian. The youngest wasn't weak.

 

"Sorry." He pathetically whined.

 

Todd sighed before kneeling down and pulling the youngest in his arms. Damian let himself be taken in, frozed at the unexpceted gesture, the hug was awkward and clearly not him or Todd were comfortable but it kinda appeased his heart. He would scold himself for it later. Now he just wanted Richard to be alright.

 

"You care for him a lot, right?" Todd shushed gently, a tone Damian did not expect from the older man and mostly that it would be directed at him. The youngest just nodded, not trusting himself to form words. And then without a warning Todd picked him up.

 

"Todd put me down!"

 

"Shh, We both gonna be pretend what is about to happen never happened. You did not cry and I did not hug you and comfort you."

 

Damian thought about it. It is true that it would be better for the both of them if no one know about how pathetic Damian had been. "Alright, I accept."

 

Todd grinned before walking into the living room to grab a chair and place it infront of Richard's bed. He sat down carefully placing Damian's on his laps.

 

The youngest felt uneasy at first. Mostly because he did not want to break infront of Todd. Richard had been the only one that saw him cry. Todd was not supposed to be on the list. He hated himself.

 

Since what happened at school, he had been weaker, he could not control his tears anymore. He sometime felt the childish needs to whine when something went wrong. He wanted Richard's attention all the time, not liking when the older man left for work or when he spoke to Drake.

 

But he never said it out loud. He was supposed to be better than that. He had been trained to be perfect. He wasn't a child in need of attention. So sitting here on Todd's laps felt a bit embarrassing but the older man did not seemed to mind as he had a hand on Damian's shoulder, thumb moving in subtle circles.

 

And this simple gesture was soothing. It was doing something weird to him. His body relaxed, knowing this meant safe. He could not quite understand why. It's like something in him knew that gesture. It was familiar. Safe.

 

A cough took him out of his thought. Richard moved slightly with a groan. Damian was quickly on his feet, already walking toward the bed. The oldest painfully cracked an eye open.

 

"Damian, I'm sorry, I think I'm sick." Richard said.

 

"We know Goldie."

 

"Jay?"

 

"Yes, now drink. You need water, you passed out from fever." Todd careful sat down next to Richard, helping him to sit up before bringing the glass to his lips. The wet cloth fell on the bed, wetting the sheets. Damian quickly grabbed it, wincing at how hot it had become.

 

He went to throw it in the dirty laundry basket and grabbed another one on his way back. The scene he saw when he walked back was strangely... Sweet.

 

"Careful Dick, drink slowly." Todd swipped a hand on Richard's forehead, pushing away the hair that had been stuck to his skin with the sweat. To that Richard laid his head on Todd's shoulder.

 

"My head hurt." Richard whined.

 

"It's what I thought, I bought you some medecine. Kid can you bring the bag in the living room?"

 

"Alright." Damian was relieved, Richard was alive and approximately sane. The youngest remembered seeing people pass out of fever or having hallucination while he was training in the mountains. This was a state he hoped Richard wouldn't reach.

 

As he bring back the bag, Richard extended his hand for Damian to grab onto.

 

"Don't ever scare me like that again Richard." Damian spoke, feeling the tears coming once again.

 

"Sorry sweetheart."

 

"You said you were fine but it's the second time something bad happen. You promised you would tell me." Damian wanted to whine and yell but Richard was sick. It would only make everything worst.

 

"I know Dami, I failed on that and I'm sorry."

 

"Get better and I will accept your apologies."

 

"I will Dami." Richard weakly squeezed his hand, closing his eyes while leaning into Todd's touch.

 

"Think you can take a shower?" Todd asked, still carressing Richard's hair.

 

"Help me, I don't think I can stand."

 

Todd suddenly blushed. "I think fever is making you crazy Goldie."

 

"It's not like you never saw me naked before."

 

Damian's eyes widened was h-

 

"Hey brat, don't. I did not- you know. He meant before, gosh you know in cave before it was a common shower, no walls or anything. Don't stab me I did not do anything weird."

 

The youngest chose to believe that, he did not want to know any details. Richard's private life was not something he wanted to think about.

 

"My bad should had- ouch. Been more clear." Richard chuckled in pain. "But my point still stand."

 

"It doesn't" Todd argued.

 

"Why?"

 

"I don't know, cause before we did not give a fuck about each other and now we maybe I don't know? Dating?"

 

Damian just stayed quiet, unsure of what to reply to this stupid conversation. He was in truth rather amused at Todd's sudden shyness. Richard was truly making Todd soft.

 

"Lies, don't think I don't know your little crush on me. You've been jerki-" Todd quickly pressed a hand to the oldest's mouth.

 

"Dick the kid is fucking there, watch your goddamn mouth."

 

Richard blink an eye open, glancing at Damian. "Sorry Dami."

 

Damian wished he could erase the last conversation from his mind but since he couldn't he would keep this as blackmail material for Todd. The older man probably did not want everyone to know his teenage crush on Richard.

 

"Tt, gross." Damian replied, making sure to show the disgust clear on his face.

 

Todd stared at the wall, clearly having a conversation with himself before nodding. "Alright, I'm gonna help Goldie to... Well shower and you change the sheets okay? Wait do you even know how to change them?"

 

"Tt, who do you take me for? Of course I know how to do it."

 

"A spoiled brat." Todd grinned.

 

Damian rolled his eyes before glaring, suddenly remembering his main priority. "Try anything with Richard and I will make sure you can not reproduce ever again."

 

"Chill kid, who do you take me for? I'm not gonna hit on a sick person." Todd spoke while carrying Richard to the bathroom before closing the door.

 

Damian took a deep breath before getting to work. The sheets were damp with sweats, Richard's fever must be really high. The bed was a two places one, making it a bit hard for his small body to take care of everything.

 

But after fighting for a while he finally succeed to change everything. As he was about to put away the dirty sheets he heard Todd yell.

 

"For fuck... Dick! I told you to wait for me."

 

Alerted Damian approach the door. Listening if anything bad had happen.

 

"My clothes are soaking wet now, I'm gonna kill you. Can't you let people help you for once."

 

"Is everything okay?" Damian asked, worried for Richard.

 

"Yes just Dick being stupid and not listening when I tell him lemme grab the towel and then I'm gonna help you to walk. That idiot nearly made one with the ground."

 

"Is Richard okay?"

 

"Yes he is but I'm not."

 

"Well it is fine then." Damian hidded his smile when he heard Todd snort before telling him to fuck off.

 

A few minutes later Todd and Richard were out of the bathroom. The second helped Richard to sit down on the bed once again. That's when Damian noticed that Todd's clothes were soaked in water.

 

"Why are you wet?"

 

"Dick nearly fell so I had to jump into the shower to make sure his head doesn't meet the ground."

 

"Sorry, Jay." Richard muttered.

 

"Yes, now you lay back down and sleep again. I'll watch the kid for you until you get better."

 

"I do not need babys-"

 

"That wasn't a question brat."

 

"Tt."

 

Damian walked toward Richard and kissed the older man's cheeks. "Rest well Richard."

 

"Thanks for changing my bed Dami."

 

"No need to thank me." Damian blushed.

 

"Rest well Goldie." Todd pressed a kiss to Richard's temple before helping the older man to lay down. "The medecine made your fever go down quite a lot but still be careful. Don't cover yourself too much."

 

"Yes mom." Richard smiled with a soft gaze.

 

Todd sigh before smiling back. "Sleep now."

 

Richard glance one last time at Damian before nodding and closing his eyes. Todd made sure to place a new fresh clothe on Richard's forehead before hurrying Damian to leave the room.

 

It was now him and Todd alone in the living room.

 

"See kid, he fine?"

 

Richard was fine for now but he had seen people get better and still die. "For now. I will watch over him. I should go back in."

 

"No, let him rest." Todd commended.

 

"Do not order me to do anything."

 

"Brat, he needs to rest and I don't think Dick would be fine with his kid possibly getting sick by staying in the same room. So let him rest without having to worry, it's probably what got him sick in the first place."

 

Was it because of Damian? Had Richard been too busy with him to take care of his own health? The youngest was a burden and because of that it got Richard sick.

 

"I did not know it was my fault."

 

"What?" Todd was looking at him confused. "What do you mean kid? Your fault?"

 

"Richard had been stress and worried because of me. I had been weak and this cause Richard to get sick, I should maybe go back with Father or maybe with them. I keep bothering everyone in this family. And you will have Richard for yourself Todd, I think it is better for everyone."

 

Todd sighed muttering something like "I'm not done for this." before looking back at Damian. "Listen kid, it is not your fault that Dick is sick. Maybe we don't get along and you kinda pisses me off but come on I would never wish for you to go back there." Todd stopped, looking as if he was remembering something.

 

"I don't wish anyone to go there but the point is. Don't be like that, I want the spoiled brat that keep insulting me not the brat that think everything he do is wrong."

 

Damian scoffed. "Nothing I do is wrong."

 

"See that's the spirit." Todd grinned down at him. Damian still hated him but maybe he could support Todd for a few days if Richard needed it.

 

"You can take care of Richard properly, I will allow you just for this time to take the lead."

 

"So finally something I'm better at?"

 

"Tt, you're not better. You're weak and that's the only reason you know how to take care of illness."

 

"Sure brat, good to be delusional."

 

"Tt, I am better in everything else."

 

"I will argue on that."

 

"I've been train by the best only."

 

"And I've been train by your dad, that probably beat the shit at of them. And after by the league but I would rather forgot that part." Todd was clearly amused with the situation.

 

But Damian was better than Todd, Father maybe had train him but Father also trained the youngest. "Fight me then."

 

"Nah, I don't hurt kids. And Dick would not be happy with that."

 

"I'm not a kid and I spare with Richard all the time."

 

"Yea but he doesn't aim to hurt you."

 

And why did this single sentence made Damian froze? He shook his head. "You're just scared."

 

"Sure, sure. Now I would like to go shower can I?"

 

"You idiot. The shower is in Richard room." And Damian had the satisfaction to see the moment Todd realize he was doomed.

 

"Find me spare clothes now. I only packed for a day, not to stay the whole freaking week."

 

Damian suddenly got a really good idea. "Let me go buy you clothes there is a store down there. Just accross the street. Pay me."

 

Todd sighed. "Alright, I should have some money somewhere, I'm not trusting you with my card. Buy me full set."

 

Damian raised a brow.

 

"Nevermind, just. Nevermind"

 

The youngest waited patiently, surprised that Todd did not question Damian's sudden kindness. But it was perfect for him, a good way to mess and ridiculize Todd. Once the older man cameback with enough money and gave it the youngest, Damian did not waiste a second and went outside.

 

It was actually the first time he was out alone and he was a bit anxious but he could do it. As he cross the street, quickly entering the shop, he came in view with that stupid shirt he had seen for a while everytime he looked at Richard's window.

 

Todd did not like Father, so what's better to buy him a shirt that says "Batman's number one fan!". They sadly did not have Todd's size for the matching pants. Shirt would do then.

 

The youngest then went to pay, the lady smiled at him, calling him cute. Damian rolled his eyes, he wasn't cute. The young woman gave him a Batman stickers, saying it was on her. The youngest took it, just because.

 

As he made his way back, Damian was suddenly hungry he still hadn't eat yet. He would bully Todd into cooking him something, or threaten him.

 

Damian entered the appartment, founding Todd still standing but this time busy on his phone. He cleared his throat, getting the man's attention.

 

"I bought you your clothes."

 

"Thanks brat." Todd grabbed it from him. "Did you took the r-" The older man only glanced at Damian at the view of the shirt.

 

The youngest looked up with innocent eyes.

 

"Really? You did not have anything better to do?"

 

Damian could not tell if Todd was really mad or not. Or well he could now tell as Todd throw the shirt back in his face.

 

"You know what fuck you."

 

"It's just a shirt Todd and you paid for it."

 

"I'm not putting that." Todd angrily threw his own wet shirt on the table before pulling his pants down to change into the new one. Damian looked away.

 

"You're not five anym-"

 

"Not question of that, how would you feel if I buy a shirt with the face of the guy that ra- bullied you."

 

"Father did not abuse you." Damian glared, how could Todd even insi-

 

"Not in the way you think. Abuse take many forms, they not only phsyical. But you should know that, Dick probably talked to you about those things."

 

Father was not an abuser, Todd was wrong. Damian was going to make him understand.

 

"Father is n-"

 

"Hey kid, I don't think you want to bring up Bruce with me. I'm warning you. Do never go there. You can hate me and all but don't dare to cross that line."

 

The youngest closed his mouth. Todd's eyes had change for a second and this was never a good sign.

 

Todd shook his head. "Anyway I'm not putting that shirt. Keep it for Dick or hell give it to whoever you want."

 

The youngest looked at the shirt in his hand. Why did a simple sentence could throw off Todd that easily? There was tension in the air and for once Damian felt like it wasn't the best choice to adress it. The youngest walked to his room, Todd and him were not going to go anywhere right now.

 

He grabbed some papers and a pen and started to draw random patterns. Once he felt more at ease he decided to draw the sky he had seen yesterday when Richard him and Todd went out.

 

He was focused, he had draw for around an hour until he heard Richard's voice in the living room. He quickly stood up, hurrying to go see the older man.

 

"You're still burning hot Dick, you should rest some more."

 

"You need to go, I should be fine."

 

"Shut up Goldie, I'm staying a few days if I need to."

 

"Richard you need to rest." Damian protested, he wasn't about to let Richard get even more sick.

 

"I agree with the brat."

 

"But I can take care of Richard, you can go Todd."

 

Todd raised a brow at him. "I'm staying and you don't have a say in this."

 

"I do have a say."

 

"I'm the adult here."

 

"And I live here." Damian glared.

 

"Well I don't really care about that, I'm not letting Dick alone, he needs help and I don't think your small body can carry him around if needed;"

 

"Ugh please you two." Richard sighed, pressing himself against Todd's arm. "My head hurt."

 

"Tt, if he stays then he listens to me."

 

"Not even in your dreams kid."

 

"Damian just let Jay stay, it's easier if I have him around, he can help. And I'm the one taking care of you sweetheart. I'm the adult, you don't have to take care of me, so just let Jason stay for a few days."

 

"If it's what you need Richard then I can accept it." Damian said even if he wasn't really okay with the idea.

 

Todd turned to look at Richard. "Do you have any clothes, that are like my size?"

 

"I have some large one I keep for when I'm badly injured, you should find some stuff there. Don't expect them to look nice or anything tho."

 

Todd chuckled before smiling down at Richard and ew, there was too much care in that gaze. "Better than a Batman shirt."

 

Richard expression turned confuse. "What do you mean?"

 

"Your kid had the best idea to buy me a T-shirt saying Batman's number one fan written on it."

 

Todd calling him Richard's kid made something change inside him. Damian felt on the verge of crying for no reason. The youngest was suddenly anxious about Richard's answer, would the older man tell Todd that he was wrong, that Damian was just a burden and nothing more?

 

"Oh shit. Is he still breathing?"

 

"Had to, can't kill your kid." Todd then pressed a kiss to Richard's head.

 

Richard hummed. "Your wrong on one thing tho, Damian's not my kid. He is our kid."

 

The youngest panicked at the first half and then relaxed before getting mad because no way Todd was going to be more than a nuisance to him.

 

"Not my kid." Todd corrected.

 

"I agree with Todd." The older men turned to look at him. As if they had forgot the youngest was here.

 

Richard smiled. "We are going to see about that."

 

And after that they playfully argued about who was right or wrong. This lasted for a while but had to stop when Richard's medecine had start to worn off. Todd went to cook while Damian made sure to give the oldest his medecine.

 

They all ate together and then put Richard to sleep. After an heated agurment about where Todd was supposed to sleep. Damian agreed to let him sleep with Richard, only because he was worried about the man's state. Todd had promise him he wouldn't do anything suspicious and that is how they all went to sleep. Damian was slightly relieve that Richard wasn't alone.

Chapter Text

Dick :

 

Dick woke up, drenched in sweat. This fever had been bothering him for two days now. Jason had stay with him through it all. Dick was grateful because right now, he wasn't at his top form and he probably looked horrrible but the younger man did not seem to mind.

 

Jason was doing everything for him. Dick could not walk nor stand alone for too long. He was getting dizzy too fast and the heat in his body was making him whine all day long. Jason had been amazing, litterally.

 

*The night before.*

 

Dick woke up in the middle of the night, nauseous and sweating. This also had wake up Jason. The younger man asked Dick what was wrong and before he could even finish his sentence Dick had throw up. Maybe eating a full meal wasn't the best idea.

 

Jason quickly helped him to rush to the toilet. And then it mostly went with Dick emptying his stomach. His throat was painful and his body was burning hot with all this mess

 

"I'm here, Dick. I know it's hard but you're doing amazing." Jason had reassured, hand moving in a soothing gesture on his back.

 

After a good thirty minutes of barely getting any breaks, Dick was finally able to let himself sat on the ground, head against the wall. Jason was still here, flushing the toilet and grabbing Dick's hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.

 

"I'm gonna die Jay." Dick nearly cried out, he was exhausted and feeling like shit.

 

"You gonna survive, I'm sure we both took worst than that."

 

"I don't like being sick." Dick whined, not caring anymore about his dignity. Damian wasn't there and Jason already knew how whiny Dick could be. At least younger Jason did, he wasn't sure if the man infront of him remembered that.

 

Dick felt sweaty and gross. He wanted to shower but now that he was a bit more aware of his surrounding, asking Jason to help him shower was embarrassing. And he tried to forget that he already asked the younger man that.

 

"You need a shower and some fresh water, come here Goldie." And with that Jason picked him up like Dick weighted nothing. The older man just rested his head on Jason's shoulder. They silently entered the living room, making sure to not wake up Damian.

 

Jason filled a glass with fresh water before giving it to Dick and dropping him gently on the counter. "Drink this." Jason then grabbed a yogurt in the fridge before picking up a spoon and handing it to Dick.

 

"Try to also eat that and I'll go prepare some clothes for you in the mean time." Jason kissed his cheeks, leaving Dick alone. The older man was slightly against the idea of eating but he knew he needed to, for his body.

 

And it actually felt quite nice, having something filling his poor stomach. As he finished drinking his water, Jason was already back.

 

"I'll help you if you don't mind. I don't think you can stand alone."

 

"It's fine Jay, I'll do it."

 

"Nope. You finally aware enough? I don't care. I was embarrassed yesterday your turn now. Relationship is all about equitality." The younger man smiled at him before picking him up once again.

 

And yea getting help in everything was a bit embarrassing but getting wash like a kid was even more embarrassing. He knew Jason was enjoying seeing Dick all shy.

 

The younger man helped him strip out of his clothes. And that's when Dick spotted the chair he use for when he is injured.

 

"I'm not sitting on that." Dick glared or try to at least.

 

"Shh, Goldie. You sit your ass down on that. I'm not getting wet once again cause your legs are not capable of holding you."

 

"I'm not going, you can't force me." Dick was wrong when he said that. Jason picked him up and yes Dick was fully naked. Jason throw Dick over his shoulder. Dick's face was red and this time it wasn't from fever. He felt like he could die from embarrassment alone.

 

Jason then forced him down on the chair before taking a few steps back and smirking at Dick.

 

"I'm embarrassed." Dick whispered, like this would change anything.

 

"Don't be. I've seen worst." Jason chuckled. Before grabbing the shower head and turning the water on. Once tthe temperature was to the younger man liking he gently started to wet Dick.

 

And feeling the sweat being washed away was amazing. Dick closed his eyes, letting himself be in Jason's care.

 

"Can I clean you or too much for you right now." Jason asked.

 

"Do whatever you want. I can not be further embarrassed."

 

"Don't tempt me." Jason teased.

 

"Alright I take back what I said but still do whatever you want."

 

And that's how Jason ended up washing Dick. The older man had been a bit worried but not a single time did Jason made it weird. Dick felt safe and in good hands. The younger man also washed his hair, gently massaging Dick's scalp. This was heaven.

 

And it was so good that Dick fell asleep. Only waking up to Jason putting his clothes back on while Dick was laid out on the bed.

 

Dick had tense at first, his body panicking slightly at the unwanted memories coming and since Jason was amazing, the younger man immediately understood where Dick's mind went.

 

"I did not do anything. Just getting you dressed up cause you fell asleep. Did not want to wake you up. You're exhausted. And I also change the sheets don't worry." Jason softly whispered. What a perfect boy.

 

Dick just hummed, his worry gone as soon as it came. He probably drift back to sleep, trusting Jason to not abuse him in his sleep. Jason then cuddle up to him, keeping Dick safe and warm.

 

*Back to present*

 

But even with that wonderful night, Dick was sweating again but not like he used to. His whole side of the bed was drench. And of course Jason was right next to him.

 

"I'm sorry" Dick whispered when he saw Jason opening his eyes.

 

"Don't say sorry for this Goldie." Jason placed a hand on Dick's forehead. "You're less hot now. You should start feeling better."

 

Dick nodded, it's truet that he felt lighter. He was still hot but only slightly. His body felt less weak. Jason helped him out, guiding him to the shower.

 

"You think you can do it alone?"

 

"Just give me that damn chair." Dick groaned.

 

Jason snorted but grabbed the chair regardless. "I'm leaving the door open in case you fall."

 

And Dick was finally able to wash himself, alone. His throat was still dry maybe he should had drink before that.

Once he was done, he tried to stoop up but got hit with a wave of dizziness. He really thought he was going to fall face first but thanksfully the wall was there;

 

As he tried to stabilize himself with the wall, he called Jason. "Ugh Jay, I need help."

 

The younger man was quickly here. "You okay?"

 

"Just dizzy, can you?"

 

Jason nodded grabbing the towel before wrapping it around Dick. As Jason was helping him to dry himself, they both heard footsteps entering the room. Jason gave a kick to the door closing it.

 

"What are you doing Todd?" Damian asked. And he was clearly angry.

 

"Trying not to flash you brat. Just helping Goldie to get dress."

 

"Tt, very well."

 

Jason sighed infront of him. Dick grabbed his face giving it a gently peck.

 

"You're lucky the pit made me close to unable to get sick." Jason said but kissed him back regardless.

 

As Dick was finally properly dress, they got out of the bathroom. Damian was sit on Dick's bed. Same bed that was now completly change and clean. Jason took care of it, that was so sweet and lovely.

 

"Morning Richard. How are you feeling?" Damian looked him up and down, eyes searching for any signs of struggles.

 

"I'm feeling better Dami."

 

"Great." The kid said, pretending to not be affected by Dick sudden illness.

 

The older man knew Damian's fear about losing someone and Dick felt bad, being sick wasn't of his doing but he wished this did not worry the youngest. He would need to show the youngest that he was getting better. Damian worrying was never something good.

 

Dick's phone rang. The three of them turned their head.

 

Jason looked at the contact before rolling his eyes. "The old man calling you." And he handed the phone to took Dick who picked up, a ball of anxiety settling in his stomach. Bruce was the last person he wanted to speak to.

 

The younger man grabbed Damian, forcing the youngest to follow him out of the room.

 

"Yes?" Dick asked, not wanting to waiste time.

 

"I'm worried about Tim."

 

And why did this hurt? Dick had somehow expected Bruce to apologies but it was once again never going to happen.

 

"Why?" The subject was stll something Dick was interested in.

 

"Tim have struggle eating once again."

 

Dick swallowed hard. That was everything except good. "Bruce, you need to speak to Tim and show him you care."

 

"Are you alright Dick?" Bruce suddenly asked.

 

"What? Oh, yes I was just sick don't worry, feeling better now."

 

At the same moment Jason laughed loudly for whatever reason and Bruce of course picked it up. "Is there someone with you?"

 

"Just a friend cause I was sick, now can we go back to Tim." Dick was angry and he did not want to hear Bruce doubt him once again.

 

"Right." His adoptive father said, voice as blank as ever.

 

"Just speak to him. Show him you are here if he needs someone to listen. Also tell him he can call me." Dick knew that was probably alien language for Bruce but he frankly did not want to pass more time on the phone with him. He would made sure to call Tim himself and try to set up a meeting as soon as he is healed.

 

Dick sighed. "I need to go now, be patient with Tim please. Tell him I'll come visit him next week." Dick did not wait for Bruce answer before hanging up. He took a deep breath before walking back weakly to the living room.

 

Damian was pushed against the ground, cursing at Jason.

 

"What happened?" Dick rolled his eyes at the scene. Jason let go of the youngest as soon as he spotted him.

 

"Just the brat telling me I was pervert. Which isn't true by the way."

 

Dick looked at Damian with a "I'm so done of you two stop fighting." look.

 

"Tt, I was just making sure Todd was respecting you."

 

Dick rolled his eyes before sitting down on the couch as he apparently already had use his energy for the day. "Give me water please."

 

Jason did as told before asking a question. "What did the old man wanted?"

 

"Calling me cause Tim is starting to not eat anymore. If Bruce noticed you know it's really bad. I'll have to call Tim and make him speak. It can not keep going like that."

 

Jason sat down next to him. "What's wrong with the replacement?"

 

Dick grabbed the glass from Jason's hands because the younger did not some to move. He drank everything. "I don't know, he refuse to speak."

 

"Well good luck with that. Keep him alive, would be sad to lose my favorite target." And that was Jason's way to care by pretending he doesn't.

 

"I'll call him tomorrow. Right now Bruce is probably going to try so it would only make Tim uncomfortable if I call."

 

And with that the day went on. Damian and Jason kept bickering, entertaining Dick that could not do anything and he was really starting to lose it. He wanted to move and jump around but he couldn't. So Jason had become his new favorite blanket. He probably slept on Jason most of the afternoon and Damian curled himself on Dick's legs. They all took a nap unware that something was happening at the same moment.

 

*In Gotham*

 

"Tim, had Red hood been seen in Gotham in the past few days?"

 

"Uhm, no. Been missing. You think something happened to him? Let me check i-."

 

"No need, I think he is fine. I just needed to verify something. Thank you"

Chapter Text

Damian :

 

It had been a few days that Richard felt better, most of the fever was gone and the older man could finally do things alone again. Which meant that Todd left the day before, telling them he needed to get back to work. He also said he trusted the youngest to take care of Richard. And finally, it took him long enough.

 

Damian had seen Richard calling Drake daily but the teenager always refused to speak about what was wrong. The youngest had also thought about going back to school, it was important for him. He could not hide forever, he needed to show that he wasn't broken.

 

Now the problem was to bringing it up with Richard. The older man was only starting to feel better Damian was feeling a bit guilty to speak about it that early.

 

But he did regardless, remembering that Richard told him he would always make time for Damian. So as they were now on the couch, watching the tv. The youngest decided to speak up.

 

"I would like to go back to school."

 

Richard turned to look at him. "Are you sure?"

 

"Yes." No he wasn't. He did not want to go back to live with Father either.

 

Richard looked at him sceptically. "In Gotham?"

 

Damian nodded, trying to hide the uneasy feeling in his chest.

 

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea." The older man turned off the tv before placing a hand on Damian's cheek.

 

"You know you can tell me everything and you know that you do not have to go back to school if you are not ready, right?"

 

"I want to, Richard."

 

"How about you tell me the real reason and then we try to find a solution."

 

"I'm not lying Richard!" Damian was offended. He wasn't truly lying.

 

"I'm not saying that. I just think that there is some detaisl you do not tell me." Richard's gaze was soft and full of undertsanding. How could Damian lie when such a thing was directed toward him.

 

"I... I am not weak. I need to return to school. I'm not broken so it would not be a problem."

 

Sadness crossed the older man's eyes for a second. "Damian... You are not broken, just... Injured."

 

The youngest raised a brow.

 

"You see, the wound in your mind kinda work like physicals one. You got hurt at school and even if the reason you got hurt had been removed your body would still avoid it, because it's equal danger for it."

 

Damian looked at Richard confused.

 

"What I'm trying to say is that. If you want to change school it is not a problem. And that doesn't mean you are broken. It is perfectly normal."

 

"Avoiding the place is stupid and useless."

 

"It is not Dami. I also struggle with some stuff that remind me of the past and I always avoid them, or try my best to avoid them."

 

Richard also had problem with something? "But-"

 

"And it's one school. And now you are living with me, we can find plenty of school around here. I could do some research, I know some people with kids, I cou-" Richard suddenly smiled, creeping out slightly the youngest.

 

"Actually Metropolis isn't far from there. You and Jon are friends no? I could maybe ask if it is possible for you to join his class?"

 

The youngest stopped and thought about it for a second. He never really had the idea of changing school and even less going to Metropolis but it is true that they weren't that far from it. Jon was someone Damian could tolerate and he would have someone he know. Maybe no one is going to bully him for being alone and weird again.

 

"If it's reassure you then I could accept i-" Damian frozed, what would Jon think about what happened to the youngest. "But we don't need to tell them right?"

 

Richard smiled apologetically. "It's better if we can talk to them and I'm sure they will be kind about it."

 

Damian doubted that. They would think he was weak. Father's name would also be affected, Batman was strong and Robin was as much respected but Damian had fail that. No one would ever hold respect for him anymore.

 

"Dami, hey, look at me." Richard demanded softly.

 

The youngest looked up, his heart racing in his chest.

 

"Do you think Superman would judge you for that?"

 

Damian shook his head.

 

"And do you think Jon will? And if he do, do you think Clark would let that happen?"

 

"I don't think so, no."

 

"So do you allow me to explain why, I ask for you to join Jon's school? If you still don't want, it is also alright. I'm sure they will understand if you do not want to share. Clark know your dad for a long time, not going to be a problem if we keep the reason private." Richard tried to lighten the mood but Damian was currently having conflict with either or not this was good idea.

 

He did not want anyone to know or in truth he did not want to be seen as weak. But at same time, a selfish part of himself thought it would be nice to have someone else that knew what happened maybe people would finally care for him.

 

All this was giving him a headache. Jon was probably the only person that came as close to be called a friend. Richard had say friends could be trust and that they would always be here for you but was this always true?

 

Jon was happy and cheerful most of the time, which was annoying but Damian did not mind it as much as he did in the past. Maybe Richard was right, it was better to explain why.

 

"I will think about it." Damian stated.

 

"Thank you Dami. I won't share anything that you don't want me to." Richard reassured.

 

The youngest moved to the older man's laps. Richard was quick to hug him. "I'm so proud of you Dami. You're doing amazing."

 

Damian swallowed against the lump in his throat, hidding his face in Richard's neck.

 

"Aw, my baby. I love you so much."

 

The nickname was something Damian could not quite describe. Did Richard said that as a joke? Or did he really saw Damian like his... The youngest could not voice out the word. What would Father think about that?

 

"What am I to you?" Damian found himself asking, knowing this wasn't something he should say.

 

The older man tensed for a second, thinking about his answer. "One of the most important person in my life." Richard said before kissing the youngest's forehead.

 

Damian hummed. This did not truly answer his question but he lost the courage to ask again. This would do for now, he did not want to think about it more.

 

"I feel the same." Damian quietly added and he felt the older man's smile against his skin.

 

"Gosh I wanna squeeze you." Richard chuckled.

 

"Have you gone crazy Richard?" Damian pushed himself back to raise a judgemental brow.

 

Richard then dared to "boop" his nose. "Cause you're cute."

 

"I'm going to make you regret those words, Grayson." Damian threatened playfully.

 

"Will you threaten me with your cuteness?"

 

Damian aimed for a hit on the older man's side but Richard blocked it.

 

"Too predictable Dami."

 

And then Damian got pinned to the sofa, receiving tickles from Richard. He tried not to laugh but it was too late. He moved and asked the oldest to stop but it did not work. The little assault continued. The youngest felt happiness fill his chest. Being able to be carefree with Richard was something Damian secretly cherished and enjoyed.

 

When they both took back their breaths Damian could feel the begining of tears at his eyes. Who could guess that laughing could make you cry.

 

"So, who is speaking now?" Richard teased, letting space for the youngest to calm down.

 

"I will make you pay for this offend."

 

Richard just smiled down at him, making Damian blush at the sudden attention.

 

"We will see this." Richard stretched before standing up. "Wanna patrol tonight?"

 

"You are sick Richard."

 

"Yea I was thinking I watch you and only come in if things get too bad."

 

Richard trusted him to handle the patrol by himself?

 

"Are you sure?" Damian could not quite believe it.

 

"Yea I think it could be training a for you. No one never really let you take the lead. I'll still be there as back up but I'll follow your orders."

 

The youngest was suddenly over excited, Father never allowed Damian to do anything on his own. Saying that the youngest was too careless but Richard trusted him. The original Robin trusted, him.

 

"I-I would be honored. But I want you to rest and tell me if you start feeling unwell. No more hidding your physical state."

 

"Alright captain." Richard grinned. "And I'm feeling alright. No more dizziness or anything."

 

Damian tried to hide his joy, not wanting to look childish and lose the privilege to lead tonight's patrol. As he joined back his room the youngest started to stretch. He wanted to train to be sure to be as perfect as possible.

 

When it was finally time to go out, the youngest made sure to check if Richard was fine before leaving.

 

The night started well, they went from rooftop to rooftop, occasionally jumping down to stop some low level thiefs. Nightwing had been mostly watching Damian do the work, the older man was still in a fragile state so it was Robin duty to make sure he was safe. And it was nothing for Damian, he had fighted worst criminals.

 

"Nightwing, I-" Damian spotted a man trying to... Touch a young girl in an appropriated way. He felt something in him trigger. The girl screamed could faintly be heard from the high rooftop.

 

Richard noticed, as he came closer, scanning for the area until at his turn he spotted what was happening.

 

"Come on Robin, you are the leader. Get a hold of yourself." The words were harsh but to Damian it was recomforting. He nodded to himself, focusing back on the scene.

 

"We go down. I neutralize the man and you take the victim to safety." Damian ordered.

 

They grappled down, using the surprise effect to knock the man out. Damian went harsher than he should had, he knew it but an ugly need to make that man pay awoken in him. Nightwing was already moving the young girl to a corner.

 

The criminal below him tried to aim a gun at Robin but the youngest kicked it away before giving a final hit, knocking the man unconscious. He wanted to do more, the girl's screams were still resonating in his head. He remembered how he had yell that night, begged for everything to stop.

 

Damian isn't sure how long he stayed there but he wouldn't have move if Richard did not put a hand on his shoulder.

 

"We need to move Robin. You did well."

 

Damian nodded, automatically grappling away. Him and the older man settled down on a rooftop.

 

"My apologies." Damian knew he failed, he should not have let his emotions get hold of himself. Richard would not have made this mistake, Father neither.

 

"Don't apologies, not with me." Nightwing said.

 

"I nearly put a civilian in danger because of my own weakness."

 

"But you pulled yourself together and saved her. You know she kept thanking me and you for saving her." Nightwing scouted closer to him.

 

"I did not do good, if you weren't there it would have turned differently. That is why Father never allo-"

 

"You did amazing Damian. If I wasn't there then I wouldn't have let you go out all alone and if for whatever reason then you did went out, I'm sure you would have saved her no matter what."

 

"You are wrong, trusting me was a mistake."

 

"I don't let people lead if I don't think they are capable of it Robin. Me helping you is what every teammates would do. So you did not fail, it was your first time and you did a great job. Not everyone knows how to lead in one day. I also made a lots of mistakes in the past."

 

"Would you let me lead again?"

 

"Uhm, only if Hood is in the team. Like that you will have your own little team." Richard smiled.

 

"Tt, of course you will pull something like that on me."

 

"Eh, I'm easy to lead. Red hood is something else. If you can make him listen to you then you will do something that even your father can not do. And that is winning the best leader competition."

 

"I disagree, you are one of the best leader. But I will one day be better, I am sure of that. Just do not over praise me now. I am not at your level just yet."

 

Richard was now grinning. "Wow, is Robin admitting I'm better in something."

 

"Tt, it was the wind." Damian smiled.

 

Nighwting laughed at that. "It probably was, yea and now the wind is also telling you to hurry back home, it's gonna rain and I do not want to go for another round of cold."

 

Damian looked at the sky, indeed, they had to hurry if they did not want to get wet. With that they playfully raced toward the appartment. Richard had seem fine but to be sure Damian had ask to sleep next to him. Just because he needed to check on the older man's health.

 

Richard accepted, fully knowing the true reason but decided to not comment on it. The youngest cuddled up on Richard's chest, listening to the calm heartbeats, reminding him that the older man was alive and safe. And as always, when he was with Richard, sleep found him easily.