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The (Unwilling) Savior of Brothers
“APOLLO! HERMES! DIONYSUS! I KNOW YOU DID THIS! COME BACK YOU BASTARDS!”
Ares’s voice boomed throughout the halls of Olympus. Apollo raced ahead, terrified out of his mind. Dionysus stumbled after his half-brother while Hermes caught up to Apollo, swiftly taking the lead. Sandals slapped against the white floors as the three normally composed gods ran for their immortal lives.
“This was your idea, Hermes!” Apollo hissed at his other half-brother, panting as he ran.
“Oh, come on brother! It was hilarious,” Hermes laughed between pants. His bronze helmet was tucked under his arm as he pushed forward. “Right Dionysus?”
“He’s too drunk to respond!” Apollo snapped. Sure enough, the God of Wine and Festivities was just barely keeping up with his older half-brothers, and wine sloshed around his cup, spilling onto the porcelain floors. He offered them a lopsided grin.
“Where do we go,” Apollo panted.
“We need a sanctuary. A safe haven, so to speak,” Dionysus added, drunkenly.
The brothers ducked behind a wall and caught their breath for a moment. Ares’s unholy screams of rage echoed through the corridors. “Who the fuck poured wine into my helmet? I know it was one of you! DIONYSUS! ” Upon hearing his name, Dionysus flinched and looked at his brothers, purple eyes silently begging them to come up with a solution..
“Astra’s palace,” Hermes suddenly said. “She’ll help us! Ares wouldn’t dare storm her palace!”
“What!?! ” Apollo hissed. “Are you crazy!? She’ll kill us! She’ll kill me and I do not want her to kill me! I just convinced her to let me court her.”
“Would you rather get killed by our beautiful sister who you happen to be courting or by a raging God of War?” Hermes snapped. “Besides, she’ll probably kill me for coming up with the idea. But then again, maybe she won’t because I am her favorite brother!”
"You are the reason we’re being chased by him !” Apollo jabbed a finger at his brother.
“She’s also your dearest beloved sweetheart. Maybe she’ll protect us out of her undying love and devotion for you. Or she’ll kill you, and maybe myself and Dionysus, in which case, I’m sure Father will speak well of us at our funerals.” Hermes said.
“Can we go?” Hissed Dionysus, his cheeks red from wine and running. “I do not want Ares to smash me with his warhammer. Besides, I don’t think we have time to consider all our options.”
As if on cue, Ares bellowed. “APOLLO! HERMES! COME OUT AND FACE ME, COWARDS! ”
The three gods looked at each other. Realizing they didn’t have much of a choice, they bolted.
Close to Olympus, the beautiful white palace was situated on a hill near a mighty waterfall. Astra’s garden was tucked right behind it, with some gardens placed at the entrance. Apollo, Hermes, and Dionysus raced up the marble steps, nearly colliding with startled nymphs. Hermes threw open the doors and they stumbled before Astra.
The powerful Olympian Goddess, Astra Antares, lounged on her couch when her half-brothers burst in. The illustrious, most favored, and most beautiful daughter of Zeus and Hera rose to her feet. Her eyes - a swirl of crystal blue and molten gold - were sharp as she focused on the three wheezing Olympian Gods who had just broken into her palace. Silver hair fell down to her knees, framing her porcelain face.
“Astra. Help us. Please,” Hermes panted. Dionysus collapsed on the floor. Apollo was clutching his chest and heaving.
“What did you three idiots do?” Astra demanded, immediately. “You usually don’t enter my halls like uncivilized minotaurs.”
“It’s Hermes’s fault,” Apollo said. “He got the idea to pour wine into Ares’s war helmet.”
“We were going to watch his reaction in hiding but things didn’t go to plan,” Hermes responded, the Messenger God having caught his breath.
“And you just went along with it?” Astra huffed, exasperated. She looked at Hermes. “And why did you think it was a good idea to provoke Ares?” When he only managed to offer her a sheepish grin and a shrug, Astra’s palm slapped her forehead. “You three are unbelievable.”
Apollo gave her his best smile which usually made maidens swoon. Not this one, however. “Astra, dearest beloved, darling of the heavens, my most beautiful gem, might we temporarily seek refuge in your blessed haven?”
“APOLLO!!!! ”
Ares’s shout echoed as angry footsteps could be heard.
The three brothers flinched.
Astra sighed. “Hurry up and hide before I regret this,” she snapped.
Apollo, Hermes, and Dionysus scrambled to the nearest hiding spots, almost tripping over each other. Apollo hid behind a pillar whilst Hermes ducked behind a curtain. Dionysus scrambled to the nearest wall and hid behind it.
The giant doors were thrown open. A nymph nearby let out a yelp of fear and raced off as Ares stomped inside. The God of War came face to face with his sister, who stood composed in front of her couch. “Brother,” she said. “What brings you here?”
“Have you seen Apollo, Hermes, or Dionysus?” Ares asked, face red with rage though his words were spoken in the calmest tone he could manage. “They thought it would be amusing to fill my helmet with wine.”
“No, Ares. I haven’t.” Astra responded, coolly.
Dionysus almost snorted. His half-brothers gave him death glares from their hiding spots. Hermes mouthed “Shut up” to him.
Ares narrowed his red eyes, surveying the room. But he had never been able to read his sister very well. Astra carried a mysterious aura about her. She knew everything, even if her eyes never said it. “Very well. If you do see them, tell me. I don’t give a fuck that you’re being courted by that half-wit, Apollo. I’m going to teach them a lesson whether anyone likes it or not.”
“Father may not be too pleased,” Astra sighed.
“He lets them get away with too much,” Ares grumbled before storming off.
The moment the doors slammed behind Ares, the three Gods emerged from hiding. “Astra, dearest sister! You saved us. To the savior of brothers!” Hermes beamed, a shit-eating grin decorating his face. Dionysus raised his now empty glass of wine.
Apollo took Astra’s hand and kissed it. “You have my eternal gratitude, my beloved. My gorgeous, radiant, brilliant star.”
“Spare me your flattery,” Astra said, though her lips twitched up in the barest form of a smile.
“We owe you for protecting us,” Dionysus bowed his head dramatically and drunkenly. It sent Hermes into a fit of laughter.
Just then, another shout of rage from Ares caused the three brothers to flinch.
Astra sighed. “You’ll need to stay here for a while.”
An hour later, the four gods put up in Astra’s sitting room. Apollo lounged on the couch. Hermes had thrown himself on an armchair, wings flapping lazily on his boots. Dionysus was already half asleep thanks to his drinking and exhaustion.
Astra sat across from the trio, unimpressed. “If Ares comes here and tears up my palace, you three are building me a new one. With no help. And no magic but mine.”
Apollo flashed her a brilliant smile. “Oh darling, I’d build palaces for you if only you’d ask.”
The Goddess of Stars scoffed. “All your flirting won’t save your ass. It may have been Hermes’s idea but you went along with it.”
“Apollo did try to talk me out of it,” Hermes chimed in.
“And he clearly failed miserably. Ares is probably tearing apart all of Olympus just looking for you. You know how his anger can be a problem,” Astra lectured.
Dionysus snorted, waving a hand dismissively even while half-asleep. “He’ll get over it.”
Astra scoffed. “Shut up, Dionysus. You’re too drunk to think straight.”
Just then, angry footsteps were heard. The four Olympians froze. The doors flew open with a deafening bang. Ares barged in, face once again red with rage. “You lied to me!” He shouted, pointing at Astra. “You’ve been hiding them this whole time!?!” Hermes’s mouth fell open. Apollo paused. Dionysus fully woke up and fear danced in his purple eyes.
“Oh dear,” Apollo muttered.
“Now brother,” Hermes tried to pacify the angered God of War. “We can surely talk this out. It was a harmless prank.”
“Talk!?!” Thundered Ares. “Harmless prank!? You ruined my helmet! It took Hephaestus forever to make it! Now it reeks of wine! I should clobber your heads. And I should give you,” he pointed at Apollo, “a good bashing because not only are you fucking my sister but you’re now hiding behind her skirts.”
“Ares. They are our brothers. I won’t allow kinslaying in my halls over some stupid prank,” Astra spoke up, firmly.
“Ares, we asked her to protect us,” Apollo said, standing up and positioning himself between Ares and Astra. “Don’t take your anger out on her. Do it to Hermes. It was his idea.”
“Awww, Apollo’s showing off for his lady love,” Dionysus teased.
“And offering me up as bait,” Hermes shook his head. “The audacity.”
“Shut up!” Apollo hissed at them.
Ares growled and lunged. Apollo ducked and bolted. Hermes put on his helmet and took off. Dionysus grabbed a nearby bowl of fruit to defend himself as Ares stormed around the sitting room, pursuing Apollo. “Come here bastard!” Ares shouted, raising his warhammer.
“Over my dead body!” Apollo growled.
“Keep talking and I’ll fucking arrange your funeral! Some god you are, honestly! I still don’t understand why father favors you!” Ares thundered, pursuing the Sun God.
Hermes zipped around the room and Dionysus threw fruit in a futile attempt to distract Ares. Ares and Apollo shouted colorful curses at each other as Apollo ran from Ares. Dionysus hit Ares with a banana and the War God turned his attention to the God of Wine. With a shout, Ares charged towards Dionysus, hammer raised in the air.
“ENOUGH!” Starlight flared throughout the room. Had Apollo, Hermes, Dionysus, and Ares been mere mortals, they would’ve been roasted alive. Hermes stopped running. Apollo was backed against a pillar. Ares paused mid swing. Dionysus was cowering.
Astra glared at them. “If you’re going to fight like the brainless fools you are, do it outside. You’ve already made a mess of my sitting room. I don’t need you bringing my walls down.”
Dionysus sat on the couch. “I’d rather not fight. Ares can sacrifice Hermes and Apollo if it pleases him.” This earned glares from Apollo and Hermes.
“We’ll stop,” Apollo promised Astra. “I’ll escort Ares away before he brings down your palace and tears up your gardens.”
“Get. Out. All of you.” Astra responded, firmly.
Apollo grinned at her before bolting, Hermes darting after him, and Ares charging after the two brothers. This left Dionysus and Astra alone in the hall.
She groaned and flopped down on her favorite armchair. “Why did Father have to have so many sons?”
Dionysus took a glass of wine and shrugged. “Boredom?” He offered her a glass of wine.
High above the clouds, Astra wandered, her feet touching the clouds. She seemed to float rather than walk. Through her magical eye mask, she watched over mankind. It was relatively quiet and she thankfully hadn’t caught her father having more affairs with other women. She sighed, taking in the crisp night air.
She heard soft footsteps and frowned. She’d dropped Dionysus off at his home. Who could be visiting her at this hour?
“Hello Astra darling,” the voice like warm honey flooded her ears. She turned and sure enough, Apollo was there, leaning against the doorway, a smile on his face, his long golden hair a complete mess. His tanned skin gleamed under the moon and he wore a soft smirk on his lips. His golden eyes held a hint of playfulness and adoration.
He was insufferable at times and she still loved him so damn much.
“Fancy seeing you here,” Astra said, dryly.
He snorted. “I was busy running for my immortal life. Thankfully Father stopped Ares before he could do anything to Hermes and I,” he stepped towards her with a small smile. “But it didn’t feel right to sleep without seeing you one last time. You saved us today.”
It was Astra’s turn to snort. “I lied to my brother - my full blooded brother - for you. And that’s because for some unfathomable reason, I like you, Hermes, and Dionysus. And for reasons I still cannot explain, I am stupidly in love with you.”
Apollo shrugged. “You didn’t have to. You could’ve sold us out but you didn’t. You never did. You always gave the bastards of Olympus a chance,” he jested but his molten golden eyes held gratitude.
She chuckled. “I only protected you because Ares was ready to gut you three like fishes in my palace halls. It would take my servants forever to clean up the blood. They already had to spend the evening cleaning the sitting room.”
“Ah, but I think you did it because you cared,” Apollo leaned forward with a smile.
Astra grabbed him and kissed him. His tanned arms pulled her into a swift hug. She bit and sucked at his lip and he moaned with pleasure. She abruptly pulled back and slapped his chest with both fair hands. “You are damn lucky I love you so much,” she hissed, though a dash of mirth showed in her eyes. “I still don’t know how I put up with your bouts of idiocy.”
Apollo grinned. “I don’t know either but I am eternally grateful that you do.”
“Shameless,” she scoffed.
“Bratty,” he jested.
“Manchild,” she responded.
His face morphed into mock offense. She would’ve laughed had a part of her not been annoyed with him. “What did you just call the great Sun God?” Apollo asked.
“The great Sun God who cowered with his equally stupid brothers in my halls? Ah yes. I called him a manchild. I blame your mother. She’s too kind to you sometimes.”
Apollo snorted. “Oh darling, be careful because I am one step away from losing all composure and having my way with you up here.”
“While I’m on duty? No chance. But later?” Astra smirked. “Let’s see. You brought Hermes and Dionysus to my halls, hid in my throne room, and wrecked my sitting room. And Ares trampled over part of my gardens. You owe me new flowers, three mind blowing orgasms, and one breathtaking, mindfucking round of sex.”
“I like the sound of that,” Apollo said, his grin taking on a wicked slant. “I’ll see you tomorrow, dearest.” With that, he kissed her and vanished into the night.
Astra sighed. “May the Fates help me.”
The next morning, Astra was with her half-sisters, Athena and Artemis. The three women had finished another successful hunt and were enjoying some down time. Artemis sat cross legged on the floor whilst Athena draped herself across a bench whilst Astra sat near Artemis. “I should tell you,” Astra said, grinning. “I found myself the unwilling hostess of three idiots yesterday.”
Artemis grinned. “Let me guess. You mean Apollo, Dionysus, and Hermes, right?”
Astra deadpanned her. “Obviosuly.”
“What’d they do this time?” Athena leaned forward, eagerly, hazel eyes gleaming. “I’m supposing that Ares was also involved? I saw your trampled flowers.”
“Yes,” Astra sighed. “Those idiots thought it would be a grand idea to fill Ares’s war helmet with wine. Well, Hermes did, but Apollo and Dionysus were complicit. They failed to stop him.”
Athena snorted. Artemis giggled. “Do tell us what happened next!” Artemis grinned.
“They rushed into my palace and begged me to hide them. They hid. Ares came. I lied,” Astra shrugged. “Then Ares came again, found out I lied, and they tore up my sitting room. Ares kept trying to kill them,” her last few words came out a grumble. “You should’ve seen Apollo, Dionysus, and Hermes. Cowering in my halls like frightened deer.”
Artemis burst out laughing. “You’re telling me Apollo - my proud, narcissistic, arrogant brother - was cowering? Why wasn’t I there to witness it?”
Athena snorted. “So you lied to Ares to protect them?”
Astra deadpanned her older half-sister. “It was either lie or have them skewered like kebabs. Can you imagine the mess that would’ve created?” Athena finally gave into laughter, clutching her stomach.
“Dionysus too? Let me guess, he was drunk and slurring through the whole thing,” Artemis said.
Astra nodded. “He somehow managed to throw fruit at Ares. A futile attempt in self defense.”
The mental image of that sent Artemis and Athena into hysterical laughter. “Some of the Gods are just fools really,” Athena grinned. “I think our brothers are living proof of that. And really, chasing them and threatening them over a prank? Ares has got to be the biggest fool allowing them to bait him like that.”
“And that’s why he’s not the God of Wisdom,” Astra tossed a lock of silver hair back. “Next time, I’m locking the doors.”
“No! Don’t do that! Let them in. I want to watch my brother cower,” laughed Artemis. “This is priceless! I can’t wait to tell mother the next time Apollo and I visit her.”
“Bearing witness to it wasn’t as fun as you’re probably imagining it to be,” Astra grinned.
The three Olympian Goddesses burst out laughing in unison, their laughter mingling with the songs of the birds.
“Hey! What’s going on here?”
As if summoned by fate, Apollo strode in, flanked by Hermes and Dionysus.
“Astra was just telling us about your adventure yesterday!” Artemis chirped. “My poor brother. Cowering before Ares. Do you need Mother to rock you to sleep to ease your fears?” At this, she burst out laughing. “I wish I had seen your faces. The great God of the Sun and his accomplices: the drunk God of Wine and the idiot Messenger God who decided to provoke a God who is literally known for his anger issues!”
Apollo glared at his twin sister. “We weren’t cowering!”
“We were avoiding the possibility of being smashed to death by a warhammer,” Hermes agreed. Dionysus nodded, already drunk.
“You should’ve thought of that before filling Ares’s helmet with wine. Really Hermes? A prank? Since when were you so childish?” Athena taunted, mischief gleaming in her eyes.
“In my defense, he’s done worse to me,” Hermes raised his hands.
“And you, Dionysus?” Artemis turned to the God of Wine. “How will you defend your now compromised manliness?”
“In my defense and Apollo’s defense, we both tried to stop Hermes. He wouldn’t listen,” Dionysus responded, flopping down on the ground.
“Oh please, are we all going to put this on me?” Hermes sighed.
“No, my dear brother. Because you not only provoked Ares, but you also share the blame of ruining my sitting room. You all royally fucked up. But you really took the cake this time,” Astra said with an innocent smile. Artemis and Athena burst out laughing again.
“Not only are you cursed with narcissism, but stupidity too,” Artemis laughed at her brother.
Apollo shook his head, a wry smile on his face. “Alas, we are cursed to be mocked by our own kin.”
Astra snorted. “I saved you three even when Ares found you and was ready to pounce. Let me have this moment.”
"Do us all a favor and slip up like that again so I can be there to witness it," Artemis laughed.
"You really want me to be clobbered to death by Ares for your own personal amusement?" Apollo was exasperated.
"Not clobbered, but it wouldn't hurt for someone to knock you down a few pegs," Artemis grinned.
"We may be idiots and cowards but at least we survived to tell the tale of the time we angered Ares and got away with it," Dionysus raised a glass of wine.
"You better credit Astra in the story," Athena snorted. "But I don't think your followers will be impressed when they hear about their highly esteemed Gods running for their lives from Ares."
Hermes snorted. "It doesn't matter. The prank was worth it."
"Idiots," Astra shook her head, laughing.