Archive of Our Own ^beta

Well, things were certainly happening. Despite the fear and uncertainty that had plagued Teresa Lisbon in the days after Patrick Jane vanished following Vega’s death, his return had brought a whirlwind of abrupt changes.

Patrick had decided he was going to make a life with her. He’d bought a plot of land, an old cabin, and was making long-term plans to build a home for the two of them. Okay, the part where he’d waffled when confronted about taking off his wedding ring had been a letdown, but maybe she’d pushed too hard when he was clearly still shaken, yet trying his best anyway. It was then that Teresa decided she could keep walking, one step at a time, as long as those steps were with him and headed toward a future.

And then Patrick had proposed, and instead of the few inches she believed they could manage, it was like he’d asked her to run a hundred miles.

Yet, it didn’t feel wrong. It felt right between them, two people who’d been friends for so many years and had deepened their connection like crazy in the recent months since they’d allowed themselves to admit they’d probably been in love longer than either would say and to finally live out their long-buried romance.

A Justice of the Peace and the two of them was all they needed and wanted. But then, one of Teresa Lisbon’s core characteristics—one Patrick Jane had to admit he’d exploited relentlessly during the years he was single-mindedly obsessed with his mission of vengeance—came into play: her inability to say no.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Agent Lisbon had no problem whatsoever saying no. What she struggled with was sticking to those refusals and not giving in to subordinates, friends, and family when they wanted her to do anything that would make them happy.

In Patrick’s case, she’d generally gone along with countless crazy schemes and improbable plans that, in the end, had exponentially increased their crime-solving rate. They’d also paved the way to revealing Thomas McAllister as the true identity of the serial killer Red John.

And it was because of Teresa’s difficulty with ‘no’ that she and Patrick watched, minute by minute, their dreamed-of tiny wedding morph into an event with a guest list growing more uncertain by the second, as the agent felt guilty denying anyone who wanted to come.

Despite this unwanted shift in plans, Teresa tried to stay calm, sure she hadn’t actually invited that many people. Really, the only one she couldn’t remember talking to was Wylie. But then, right after inviting the tech whiz, Cho placed a laptop with an active video call in front of her, reminding her there were other indispensable people she’d want there.

What she hadn’t factored in was that the conversation would remind her of much more than that.

“I know it’s short notice, but you guys have got to come out for the wedding. It’s Saturday,” she said, after sharing the news with Grace Van Pelt and Wayne Rigsby, looking fondly at her friends on the display. She really missed them, and the prospect of seeing them lifted her spirits.

“Oh my Gosh. Of course. We’d love to!” Grace exclaimed, thrilled.

“It’ll take a little child-care juggling, but we can swing it.,” Rigsby added, with a funny look on his face.

Teresa couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s mild desperation. She knew the couple loved their kids more than anything, but in moments like this it was clear they no longer had the freedom to just do whatever they wanted; any outing had to be carefully planned.

“Worst comes to worse, we’ll bring the monkeys. Keep them locked in the rental car,” Rigsby joked, getting immediately scolded by the redhead.

Despite the obvious hassles, Teresa couldn’t stop the bittersweet feelings growing inside her. After all, Grace and Rigsby had a complete family, and she, though about to be married, was long past that stage. Even though motherhood had never been on her bucket list, knowing it was now pretty much out of reach was a little sad.

But it was okay. Being with Patrick Jane was all she wanted, and now that she had him, she wouldn’t ask for anything more from life. Besides, she wouldn’t be surprised if, given his traumatic past, he didn’t want to venture into parenthood again. Plus, at her age, her peak fertility was long gone, even if her period still ran like clockwork.

“But seriously, we wouldn’t miss it,” Rigsby assured her.

Miss. She’d never missed a period. Always at the start of the month. Reliable and infallible.

Except for this month’s.

“I gotta go. We’ll see you soon,” Grace said goodbye, rushing off to attend to the childish voice desperately calling for Mom in the background.

“I’ll send you the details,” Teresa said, trying to keep her expression serene despite the doubts starting to swirl in her mind. A delay of just a few days this month probably meant nothing.

“Great. Take care.” She barely waited for Rigsby to wave an exaggerated goodbye before closing the laptop and starting to count.

Her lips just moved, her fingers ticking up, indicating some frantic mental math. When she estimated at least ten days, she closed her eyes and shook her head.

No, no panic.

It wasn’t a red flag yet. Even regular cycles were late sometimes, and she’d only missed this month’s, right?

So why couldn’t she remember having her period the previous month either?

The answer was obvious.

There had been so many disastrous events—protecting a witness from a ruthless hitman, Patrick’s growing nervousness about her field missions, Vega’s death, and the consultant’s latest disappearance—that no one could really blame her for not noticing.

But now Teresa was sure she’d missed two periods, and therefore, she was officially freaking out.

She needed a pharmacy, fast, and was about to run to the nearest one when Dennis Abbott showed up with Jason Wylie in tow, asking the younger agent to accompany her to his house to check on the wedding arrangements.

Swallowing hard, and glad her nerves could easily be mistaken for those of a bride about to get married, Teresa followed Wylie to Abbott’s house. She felt no guilt when she tricked the younger agent, saying she really needed to stop at the pharmacy because she had a killer headache.

“Abbott’s place probably has painkillers,” the kid suggested.

“Actually, I need to pick up some… feminine stuff too,” was the card Teresa played, mercilessly.

As expected, Wylie blushed intensely, asked no further questions, and decided to wait in the car. This gave her enough time to stand frozen in front of one of the pharmacy shelves, pondering which test to buy, before giving up and grabbing one of each. She paid, hid them in her bag, and returned to the car as if nothing unusual was happening in the world.

Teresa’s success in projecting just enough nervousness to avoid suspicion lasted only until she stepped onto Abbott’s lawn and discovered the minimalist wedding she’d hoped for had turned into an event with a buffet, a bartender, and elegant decor, with the potential attendance of every employee—agent or not—from the Austin FBI headquarters.

The arrival of her family en masse was the final blow to her composure, marking the moment she gave up pretending everything was normal.

There were so many Lisbons to deal with that Teresa didn’t even worry about the missing filter between her thoughts and her mouth, which expressed, with a certain desperation a couple of times, the fact that they’d all come. Nor could she avoid the strange, slightly panic-tinged tone her voice had taken on as she talked with them and celebrated with her new sister-in-law—because of course, Jimmy thought it was a great idea to announce his own engagement, adding another unexpected guest to her wedding.

At that point, as her nephews ran around spreading chaos on the lawn, Teresa was even glad Tommy was in Alaska and couldn’t make it with Anabeth.

Fortunately, her sister-in-law Karen, proving to be the most sensible human present, rounded up the troops and decided they’d go back to the hotel, protests be damned. She silenced them by estimating the damages they’d have to pay if the decorations were destroyed—which, honestly, didn’t bother Teresa that much. She almost selfishly wished the nephews would tear it all down. If Abbott had decided, without consulting her, to turn her wedding into a memorable event, he could damn well deal with the damages.

Of course, such thoughts were far from her usual charitable personality, but with the events of the last few months weighing on her shoulders more than ever, combined with an unplanned possible pregnancy, she thought it was okay to wish, for once in her life, that everyone else could go to hell.

Now she understood the allure of running, the thing that so attracted Patrick Jane.

Maybe she could do the same.

Get in the car, drive, and only stop when she reached Sacramento.

Maybe she could replicate some of the lock-picking techniques she’d observed the blond consultant perform over the years and hide out for a few days in the deserted building that used to house the CBI.

She couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the idea.

It would be the first place Jane would look for her, assuming he came after her.

The flood of absurd thoughts made Teresa realize she couldn’t go on like this. She needed to clarify the doubt tormenting her. After all, maybe she was making a big deal out of nothing.

Just then, she noticed that, miraculously, no one was around. Her relatives had gone to the hotel, the staff had left, and Wylie had probably bolted the moment he sensed the aura of chaos surrounding the Lisbon family. The boy was wise.

Determined, Teresa walked into the house, looking for a bathroom. At that moment, she didn’t think too hard about the feelings each result would bring, just that maybe she was jumping the gun with her desperation. Who knows, when she walked back out onto the lawn, she might be a relieved woman who only had to worry about surviving a wedding with a level of exposure she’d never wanted.

Two pairs of pink lines and one display reading “pregnant” later, the only thing she could do was find a table to sit at and have a good cry.

And in the worst possible timing, Patrick appeared, giving her barely enough time to dry her eyes before he approached.

“Nice flowers,” he commented, choosing not to directly address the fact she’d been crying.

Which was great, because Teresa hadn’t managed to think of a decent excuse for her tears.

“They’re centerpieces,” she said awkwardly, pointing to the elegant arrangements. “It’s a sylvan theme,” she added, unable to keep her voice from cracking.

As they talked about how many people were exactly coming, and Patrick mistakenly interpreted the reason for her emotional wave, Teresa remembered there hadn’t been few times over their ten years working together that she’d felt ridiculous because of him.

And this was definitely one of those times, since he was the one who’d put that baby in her belly in the first place.

May the child at least have the father’s beautiful blond curls to compensate her for all this mess, she thought, watching the perfectly put-together man amid the confusion of floral arrangements. It seemed only fair.

However, the idea of cradling a tiny, crying being with angel hair in a few months, instead of comforting her, provoked a fresh wave of tears. The only thing she could do to spare the last shreds of her dignity was hide her face in her right hand.

“How did is happen? This is not what I wanted,” she whimpered, as the blond tried to comfort her, saying he liked the party’s theme.

Of course, she wasn’t talking about the party. But she couldn’t tell him.

Not yet.

Blame the hormones or whatever, but how could she trust his reaction when she herself was freaking out? After all, Patrick Jane had offered plenty of demonstrations that he tended to bolt when he felt cornered.

No, she couldn’t bear to be left behind again. Not pregnant.

If being abandoned again was an inevitable fate, let it happen after the wedding. That way, at the very least, she’d have a marriage certificate to secure the father’s name on the baby’s birth certificate.

So, Teresa decided to keep the secret for now. To disguise her distress, she just kept whimpering, saying they should have eloped and insisting her family’s wildness meant they wouldn’t care.

But then, Patrick invited her to actually run away with him. To abandon all the pomp and ceremony and make their union official in the cabin that would signify a new beginning.

To Teresa’s pregnant mind, the idea was tempting. One less problem to deal with and a faster path to finally being married. She definitely wouldn’t miss the glamour of the ceremony Abbott was organizing.

Plus, she was touched.

It was the first time Patrick Jane had asked her to run away with him.

This time, he wasn’t running from her; he’d shown he could live without everything else, as long as he was with her. Teresa might have melted right there in front of him, if the consultant hadn’t then revealed the idea was also a great ploy to avoid the wanted serial killer Joe Keller and his desire for revenge.

Of course, she couldn’t help but scold the consultant and criticize him for almost making her run off feeling guilty about leaving the other guests behind. And she certainly wasn’t thinking straight when she said that from that moment on, they should be 100% honest with each other.

Because maybe, for the first time in their lives, between the two of them, she was the one blatantly lying and hiding the bomb about to drop on them both.

Not letting herself sink into guilt just yet, the agent retrieved her dress from Abbott’s house and followed Patrick’s Airstream in her car. Along the way, yes, she allowed fresh tears to stream down her face, taking care to dry them as soon as they arrived on the land he’d bought, and to hide the tests she’d taken in the glove compartment before getting out.

The rest of the day passed a bit strangely.

It was clear how cautious Patrick was being around her, probably because of the weepy mood she was still in. Teresa didn’t bother to clarify, aware that with a mentalist fiancé, distance was a good trick to keep him out of her mind.

Snuggling into his embrace that night, while hiding something she shouldn’t be hiding, was one of the most agonizing experiences she’d ever had. At this point, she was even relieved about the party Abbott had decided to throw, which in the end served as a smokescreen to justify the guilt the mentalist must surely sense emanating from her.

On the other hand, despite all the fear and uncertainty, for the first time she allowed herself some time to try and think about the changes coming to their lives from a more positive perspective.

It couldn’t be that bad, could it?

Grace and Rigsby seemed really happy with their kids, even if they looked exhausted ninety percent of the times they met, and sometimes had various bodily fluids on their clothes.

And Patrick had always shown a great affinity for children and an unusual joy whenever they encountered one during their investigations. She had many warm memories of seeing him break into a wide grin whenever he held a chubby baby, so maybe he could get used to the idea and even appreciate the unexpected addition of a new family member.

Okay, it was understandable to assume Patrick might not want to go through this again, but he’d never actually expressed that kids were off the table, though they’d never really discussed it. And well, obviously, neither of them had been careful about it, possibly confident they weren’t that young and fertile anymore.

Finally, as for her, even though she’d always been somewhat averse to motherhood, her thoughts on the idea had wavered over her life. Running into her ex-fiancé, Greg, during an investigation years ago and seeing he was married with three kids had inevitably made Teresa think that could have been her life. Quiet, dull, and settled in a calm little coastal town, with responsibilities limited to caring for her husband, kids, and the family business. No dangerous serial killers to catch and no crazy consultant to babysit.

Although she’d concluded she’d definitely made the right choice in leaving Greg, the reunion had revealed that even if motherhood wasn’t a desire, she didn’t despise the idea either.

After all, she liked kids, which was understandable even if she might have hated them after having to grow up too fast to raise three brothers. And well, she undeniably loved her nephews, even if she’d basically followed their lives through photos.

Okay, that wasn’t encouraging, but what was she supposed to think? That if Tommy could manage it, there was no way she couldn’t?

The cruelty of the thought almost made Teresa cry again, especially because, even though her brother was a mess, her niece, Anabeth, had turned into a lovely young woman, despite the pickpocketing skills Patrick had taught her.

The thought that one day her poor baby would probably be subjected to that kind of training made her smile.

However, Patrick’s hand, moving in his sleep to rest against her belly, caused new, silent tears to trickle down her cheeks.

When dawn broke, Teresa’s mind was clearer. Her nighttime reflections had somehow calmed her.

She even allowed herself to be swept up in Patrick’s happiness as he woke her with countless kisses, surprisingly excited about the wedding. She finally managed to rationalize that the whirlwind of negative feelings from the day before was normal given the surprise of the situation, and had certainly been amplified by pregnancy hormones.

Surely, she could handle this. Taking care of a baby couldn’t be worse than being responsible for Patrick Jane on the job, even if the child in question was his to begin with, but she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. At least she was already an expert at handling chaotic Janes.

The fact that Patrick had deduced Keller would probably find the wedding location anyway, given Cho’s information that the serial killer had gone after the Justice of Peace’s address, strengthened her conviction that she shouldn’t hide the pregnancy for long, or a tragedy might reveal her secret.

But Teresa was still determined to tell him only after the ceremony, or Patrick certainly wouldn’t let her participate in the police action, and she wasn’t about to sit out the capture of the man who had kidnapped and almost killed him.

Of course, there was still the lingering fear that he would leave again.

Despite that, and having to change wedding plans once more, the look of pure adoration the consultant gave her the moment he saw her in her wedding dress strengthened her conviction that everything would be okay.

“Well, no matter what happens from… This point on… We have to promise each other that we will always look at the bright side,” he proposed when they met on the grassy plot near the cabin.

The bright side. Would he be able to do that when he found out? She was already trying.

Especially because, suddenly, the image of a blond, crying baby in her arms no longer seemed so terrifying.

They just had to get through the ceremony. And the capture of a serial killer before it. And then she could contemplate whether Patrick would see the bright side of an unplanned pregnancy right away, or if he’d freak out like she had.

It was no wonder Teresa practically dragged him through the cabin once they’d captured Keller.

Unexpectedly, the ceremony slowed their momentum. But that was okay, they could enjoy the affection of their friends and the party, since Abbott, somehow, had managed to move it to the cabin’s plot, thank heavens, with simpler decorations.

It was good to savor all the huge smiles Patrick had worn that day, solely because he was happy to be marrying her. The butterflies fluttering in her stomach each time he pulled her from someone’s arms to lift her in a possessive hug, no longer hesitant to show anyone watching that he could and wanted to do this.

But when he led her away from the dance floor to shelter from the bustle, settling on the fallen log on the other side of the lake—the same place he’d proposed—Teresa knew she couldn’t put it off any longer.

“How you feeling?” Patrick asked, and given the nature of the question, she wondered for a moment if he could already know.

She dismissed the thought immediately.

“I’m so happy,” she stated, and in response, he broke into one of those huge grins she believed could light up the surrounding woods, despite the night.

“Me too,” the blond assured her, his smile unwavering. “Me too,” he added, looking back at the party still going on across the water, everyone too merry and too far into the drinks to notice the bride and groom were missing.

Teresa took a deep breath, trying to muster a shot of courage. The moment had come.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” she revealed, unable to disguise the emotion on her face. Her left hand, the one he’d placed the silver engagement and wedding rings on just hours before, automatically hovered over her belly.

Patrick turned to her, his expression a mix of curiosity and mild concern as he studied her face.

A genius mind-reader that he was, picking up on such raw, genuine emotion, he couldn’t stop his blue eyes from immediately sliding down to find her left hand resting on the secret she’d kept since the day before.

A revelation without words.

The blue irises fixed back on his now-wife’s face, his chin dropping slightly in surprise before his lips stretched into an emotional smile.

“No, you… You’re kidding me,” despite all his talent for reading people, he hesitated to believe it.

“I’m not kidding,” Teresa assured him, her own smile briefly expanding, her chin lifting as if to say, wordlessly, “it’s real,” before her expression turned tearful.

Patrick’s hands gently caressed her free hand.

“You are?”

Teresa couldn’t help but get even more emotional seeing how hopeful he seemed, a slight guilt nagging at her for having feared his reaction so much.

“I am,” she confirmed, nodding.

The two of them couldn’t stop the happy laughter that escaped their throats as they looked at each other, nor the attraction that led them to a tender, fulfilled kiss.

And then they embraced, Patrick smiling as if he held the world’s most precious treasure in his arms, and Teresa finally allowing relief to relax her features.

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, him holding her in a protective hug, gently swaying her from side to side, his hands stroking her back.

However, at some point, Patrick let out a light laugh, and she disentangled herself gently to look at him curiously.

“It’s just, that definitely explains all the crying over the centerpieces,” he explained. “Tough Teresa wouldn’t cry over some flower arrangements.”

The agent looked away, embarrassed.

“Tough Teresa was desperate because she’d just found out,” she revealed, looking at him shyly.

“Oh,” he exclaimed, nodding his head up and down, replaying the scene in his mind. “That makes more sense than all the crying over the sylvan theme.”

“Well, the wedding turning into a huge event and my nephews nearly destroying my boss’s garden certainly didn’t help calm me down,” she complained, her tone turning slightly grumpy.

Patrick nodded in agreement.

“In retrospect, I should have spotted the pregnancy. But given I had to ask you several times just now to confirm, maybe my mind was just ignoring the signs to avoid a possible disappointment,” he concluded.

Teresa bowed her head, feeling a little guilty.

“I was afraid of how you’d react,” she admitted. “That’s why I didn’t tell you right away.”

“That, and the fact that once we were married, you figured I’d think twice before running off scared by the pregnancy,” he teased, reading her with perfect clarity.

The agent shrugged.

“You can’t judge me.”

“I know,” he claimed, pulling her so her head rested on his shoulder, his hand sliding up and down her arm to keep her warm.

“I really panicked. I’m sorry,” she apologized.

“Shh,” he soothed. “I know I haven’t done my best to make you feel secure,” he lamented.

“You’re happy about this. That’s enough,” she stated. “A better reaction than mine. I really lost it at first,” she revealed, the guilt growing. “So many horrible things went through my mind.”

Patrick easily remembered the moment when, amid the over-the-top decorations being set up in Abbott’s garden, she’d declared, crying, that this wasn’t what she wanted, and he understood the real meaning of those words.

“It’s okay, Teresa. I think most women react that way when they find out about an unplanned pregnancy,” he consoled her. “Besides, as I said, my actions made you feel insecure. Add recent events and pregnancy hormones to that, and you’ve got a recipe for chaos,” he explained, and she just murmured in agreement.

They stayed quiet for a few more moments, Teresa’s body starting to feel heavy from the intense relaxation that followed finally sharing the secret that had kept her so tense the day before.

“I really should have noticed,” Patrick still seemed a little put out that he’d missed the pregnancy. “Your breasts were fantastic in that green top you wore the day I proposed; of course they’d gotten bigger.” He pointed out, the memory of the V-neck suddenly warming his body.

Teresa, of course, wasn’t surprised by Patrick Jane’s ability to ruin a good moment with an unnecessary comment.

“Jane!” she scolded anyway, pulling away to swat him on the arm.

“They looked great in this dress too,” he added with a lecherous smile, staring blatantly at the woman’s bust. She closed her jacket in retaliation, which made him pout.

Teresa rolled her eyes, and he laughed.

“Feel better now?” he asked, pulling her back into a caring hug.

“Yes. I always feel superior when you act like an idiot,” she commented sarcastically.

Patrick just clicked his tongue dismissively.

“But seriously, I must be really rusty if that didn’t even cross my mind, when your period didn’t come last month,” he reflected.

“Now you remember that,” she emphasized.

“Like I said, a lot happened,” he reiterated. “Anyway, it’s good to know our baby is already a good size. By my calculations, you could be nine or ten weeks along,” he estimated.

“Really, your memory never stops scaring me.”

“It means we should see a doctor soon,” his tone became a little more serious.

Inevitably, Teresa’s body stiffened in his arms.

“Teresa? What’s wrong?”

“Oh no, Jane!” she exclaimed, somewhat desperately, pulling away from him abruptly.

Patrick grew even more alarmed, seeing her green eyes well up again.

“I should have gone to a doctor before I told you! What if it’s a false positive? Worse, what if there’s something wrong with the baby?” she began to ramble, panic taking hold of her again, making thick tears roll down her cheeks.

“Hey!” Patrick tried to bring her back to reality, though feeling slightly uneasy himself at her words. “Teresa, it’s okay,” he assured her.

“But you got all emotional and maybe I’ve ruined everything!” she wailed before bursting into tears.

The blond man wanted to argue that given how easily she’d been swayed by emotions lately, a false positive was unlikely, but he’d learned long ago that arguing with a pregnant woman in the midst of a hormone-fueled emotional crisis rarely worked.

Instead, he hugged her again and waited for her to calm down before asking gently:

“Did you take more than one test?”

“I took three,” she mumbled, her voice broken by sobs.

The consultant resisted the urge to roll his eyes and curse the late, fake psychic Gabriel for the coincidence. After all, the number three kept popping up. First, with the addition of a new member to his newly formed family, and now, with the revelation of the number of tests used to confirm it.

Instead, he focused on the mission of calming his wife.

“Then it’s unlikely to be a false positive,” he argued. "Besides, I’ve been with you long enough to know that delays in your period aren’t common. I knew well the days I had to be careful with the fun," he joked, only to receive another slap from his wife. Actually, since the CBI days, he could pick up on the signals that identified the days he needed to be cautious to survive around her without getting shot, but Teresa didn’t need to know that part. "And you’re two cycles late."

“Yes,” she confirmed.

“You’re also more sleepy. You’ve had trouble getting up in the morning, and you’ve dozed off a few times on the job, during interviews with me,” he recalled. “You never used to sleep at work,” he added.

“That’s true,” she agreed, as she hadn’t even noticed that.

Teresa’s heart ached a little.

Only deep-seated denial and a profound dread of being worthy of happiness again could have prevented Patrick from seeing what was happening from the start, given that in some past cases, he’d deduced this same condition in complete strangers with fewer clues.

“So, for today, we’ll stay calm, and tomorrow, we’ll go to an OB-GYN and get it confirmed,” he stated.

“You can’t just get appointments that fast. Besides, tomorrow is Sunday,” she reminded him.

“Oh, believe me, you will see a doctor tomorrow morning, Teresa,” he promised, and she didn’t doubt it. Patrick Jane had pulled off far more improbable feats than booking a last-minute appointment. “And whatever happens, we’ll be in it together,” he promised, pulling back a little to look her in the eyes. “Always look on the bright side, remember?”

Teresa nodded.

“Okay,” she replied, her voice small, before being pulled into another deep, passionate kiss.

“I love you. No matter what happens,” he said, pulling his lips away just enough to make the declaration before drawing her into another series of kisses.

If Teresa had the ability to glimpse the future, she would have known then that there was nothing to worry about, because at the appointment the next day, the obstetrician would confirm a healthy pregnancy, and she and Patrick would receive the news with tear-filled eyes once more.

She would also know, that in the end, she would see a hint of the desperation she’d imagined from the beginning on her husband’s face the moment the ultrasound confirmed, with two gray smudges on the screen, the existence of two gestational sacs.