Archive of Our Own ^beta

Buck and Taylor had been broken up for a few months, Bobby and Athena were preparing to leave for a well earned late honeymoon, Buck was rejected from being interim captain, and he was lonely. It was great having Eddie back from dispatch and to have Maddie back from Boston, but everyone seemed lost in their own lives, leaving Buck alone yet again.

He didn’t mind being alone- he had spent years on the road with no one but himself. But this was different because he was finally settled somewhere. He knew it was just for the moment, but it still sucked.

“How do you feel about a blind date?” Chimney asked out of the blue on Hen’s first shift as interim captain- Athena and Bobby ended up not going on their honeymoon because Athena’s parents needed help.

Buck considered Chimney’s offer. He hadn’t gone on a blind date before, but it had to be better than dating apps. Chimney actually knew him and what he was looking for. If he had someone he thought was a good match for Buck…

“Why not?”

“Great! I’ll put the reservation under my name,” Chimney said, “You’ll have a great time- I guarantee it.”

“You’re pretty confident,” Buck laughed, “Do I get a name or any hints?”

“Nope! I don’t want pre-date internet sleuthing to ruin it.”

And yeah, Buck could understand that. It was supposed to be a blind date, after all.

Chimney sent him the time and location- a cute italian restaurant that wasn’t too fancy to make it intimidating, but not too casual either. He chose a blue, short sleeved button up that he knew highlighted his eyes and muscles.

He approached the host stand, “Reservation for Howard Han.”

“The other member of your party has already arrived. Follow me,” The hostess said.

He followed her through the restaurant until they got to a table where a… man was sitting?

“Your server will be with you shortly,” the hostess said.

“Um, you’re a friend of Chimney’s?” Buck asked as he took a seat.

“We used to work together,” the man said, “I’m Tommy.”

“Evan,” Buck said- he wasn’t sure why he used his real name, but he was kind of flustered.

When Chimney had mentioned a blind date, he wasn’t expecting a man. Especially a man with such broad shoulders, large muscles, soft eyes, and a cleft. Buck knew he had bulked up over the years, but he had a feeling he would be dwarfed next to Tommy. Maybe he should ask about his work out routine.

“I think Chim might have made a mistake,” Buck said, “I’m, uh, I’m an ally.”

Buck did a weird fist pump thing and he wasn’t quite sure where that came from. His mouth was dry and his heart was pumping really fast.

“Oh, uh-”

They were interrupted by their survey and Tommy ordered a pitcher of beer and said they would need more time with the food.

“Sorry, I just… I wasn’t sure if you would want to stick around since this wasn’t what you were expecting,” Tommy said.

“Oh, um…” Buck hadn’t felt this wrong footed in a long time, “That doesn’t mean we can’t still get to know each other, right?”

He wasn’t sure why, but he wasn’t ready to call it a night yet. Tommy gave him an odd look, but ultimately agreed. They settled on a kind of pizza and started talking.

“So did you work with Chimney before he was a firefighter, or at the 118?” Buck asked.

“At the 118,” Tommy answered, “I knew him before Chimney was Chimney. I was already there when he was a probie.”

“Wait, so you were there when he got his nickname?” Buck asked. He’d heard the story from Hen, but it would be great to have someone else’s perspective.

There was a gleam in Tommy’s eye, “Oh yeah. We were on our third captain at that point. Got a lot of strange calls with that one.”

“Oh yeah- you would have been there under that jerk they told me about,” Buck said.

Tommy nodded and his face turned serious, “I wasn’t the best man under Gerrard- it took Hen and Chim to knock some sense into me. But I was scared and hiding who I was… it’s not an excuse-”

“No, I get it,” Buck said, “I haven’t been through anything to that scale, but it makes sense I guess is what I’m saying. And you’ve learned and grown from it- that’s what matters.”

“You’re very kind,” Tommy said, “But let’s move on to something else. How do you know Chim?”

“I work at the 118 now,” Buck said, “Been there about six years. He’s also the father of my niece- so we’re family.”

“You started six years ago?” Tommy asked, “I think you took my spot- I left a little before then.”

Buck laughed, “No way? Small world. What do you do now?”

“I transferred to air ops- I fly helicopters now.”

“That’s so cool!”

They started talking about various rescues and strangest calls. Buck told him about the tape worm and Tommy told him about Maurice. Buck was having a great time.

They had been talking about seeing a movie afterwards when a familiar voice came behind him, “Buck?”

He turned around and saw Eddie and Christopher walking towards them.

“Hey, guys, what are you doing here?” Buck asked. His heart was racing again, but for a completely different reason.

“Dad said we could get pizza and dessert after my science fair,” Christopher said.

“Oh yeah, that was tonight!”

“And I thought you had your blind date tonight,” Eddie said, “Did she bail on you?”

“Oh, um… something like that,” Buck said- not really wanting to get into the whole thing.

“Mr. Diaz, your order is ready,” the hostess said.

“Well, we’ll be going. See you around, Buck,” Eddie said.

Buck and Christopher said their goodbyes and Buck and Tommy were leaving not too long after them.

“So, you said this movie was a classic?” Buck said as they walked outside.

Tommy nodded, but his shoulders were tight and he wasn’t looking at Buck.

“Is something wrong?” Buck asked.

“Look, even, I think you’re adorable,” Tommy started, “And I was fine when you said this wasn’t your thing but still wanted to get to know each other. But tonight felt different for me- and I thought it might have felt different for you, too. But then your friend showed up and- I don’t think I can be just friends with you.”

“Tommy-” Buck said, but he wasn’t really sure how to finish that thought.

A car pulled up and Tommy opened the back door, “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Tommy got in the car and pulled away. And Buck was left feeling empty.

To distract himself from whatever it was he was feeling, he dove into his self help books until his next shift. There was one in particular that was interesting to him- The Year of Yes. It was all about saying “yes” to new experiences and it started planting a seed in Buck’s mind.

His next shift, he got Chimney alone, “Why did you set me up with Tommy?”

“I thought you two would hit it off,” Chimney said, “And I know you don’t really talk about any of the guys you’ve been with, but I’ve seen the type you check out, so I thought Tommy was your type. Was I wrong?”

“I just- I’ve never been with a guy,” Buck admitted.

“What?” Chimney asked, “I’m sorry for assuming.”

“No it’s- it’s fine, Chim. I just have a lot to think about.”

“Wait, so I wasn’t wrong?” Chimney asked.

Buck sighed, “I don’t know.”

He wasn’t sure what to do after his shift. He and Tommy hadn’t had a chance to exchange numbers and he felt weird asking Chimney for it after their conversation. He knew the man worked out of harbor station, so he found himself driving in that direction. He wasn’t even sure if Tommy was working, but he felt like he had to try.

He asked the first firefighter he saw if Tommy was there, and then they were shouting into the hanger, “Kinard! You’ve got a visitor!”

Tommy walked towards him in a blue flight suit that shouldn’t look as good as it did, “Evan? I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Yeah, I uh- Have you heard of the year of yes?” Buck asked.

Tommy gave him an odd look, “Can’t say that I have.”

“It’s all about opening yourself up to new experiences,” Buck explained, “Doing things you may not have considered before and putting yourself out there in new ways.”

There was a small smile on Tommy’s face now, “Is that so?”

“Yeah. So I was wondering… maybe we could try that date again?”

“Before we agree to go down that road again, can I try something?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah,” Buck agreed.

And then Tommy’s fingers were under his chin, guiding their lips together. It was just a light, chaste press of lips, but there were hoots and hollers coming from the other harbor staff.

“Still want to go on that date?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah,” Buck breathed.

“I don’t get off until the morning and I’ll probably want to get some sleep in,” Tommy said, adjusting Buck’s shirt, “But, we could get some dinner and some drinks? Maybe catch that movie we missed? Does seven sound good?”

“Seven is perfect.”

“See you then, Evan,” Tommy gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before returning to work. Buck could hear his coworkers giving Tommy hell. Buck couldn’t help but smile at that- Tommy may have left the 118, but his house also seemed to be their own kind of family.

Thinking about that had his car going to his sister’s house instead of home. Chimney was already back and Maddie had the day off.

“Buck! I wasn’t expecting you,” Maddie said when she answered the door.

Jee saw him and made a beeline for him, “Uncle Buck!”

“Hi Princess,” Buck smiled.

They were still in Chimney’s old apartment, even though they were looking for something bigger. It had been a rough road for them after Maddie came back, but he was glad they were in a good place, now.

“Oh Buck, you’re here!” Chimney said- emerging from the bedroom, which was now Jee’s room, “Remember that house from the call earlier?”

“The murder house?” Buck asked, briefly forgetting why he was there, “What about it?”

“It’s not a murder house!” Chimney announced, “I did some research, but because it has that story attached to it and it’s a bit of a fixer upper since it’s been abandoned for so long. But that makes it affordable! And a reasonable distance from the station and dispatch.”

Buck looked at Maddie, “You’re okay with this?”

“We’re going to see the house together tomorrow,” Maddie said, “But we need a bigger place and this might be our best option.”

Buck shrugged and the movement made Jee laugh in his arms.

“Not that we aren’t happy to see you, but what made you stop by?” Maddie asked.

Buck blushed and he set Jee down to go play while the adults gathered around the kitchen island, “So Chimney set me up on a date not too long ago-”

“Ha!” Chimney said, “I was right!”

Buck laughed, “Not sure how you knew before me, but yeah. I went to see him after shift today and he helped me work it out. We have a date tomorrow night.”

“Wait, him?” Maddie asked, “I thought you’d never figure it out.”

“Hey!” Buck said, “Did everyone but me know I was into guys?”

Maddie and Chimney looked at each other before Maddie answered, “I don’t think you want us to answer that.”

“I think this makes me two for two,” Chimney smiled, “First I got Hen and Karen together… then I actually got them back together. And now you and Tommy. I’m a matchmaker, baby!”

Both Buckley’s rolled their eyes and Maddie playfully pushed Chimney. They talked and hung out for a bit before Buck went home.

The next day, their second attempt at a first date went well. And the first date led to a second and to a third and then Buck could say for the first time that he had a boyfriend. And when his friend Connor reached out about getting together, catching up, and Buck meeting Kameron, he suggested making it a double date and invited Tommy.

Unfortunately, Tommy got called in to work, so while Buck got to meet Kameron, all he could do was show pictures and talk about Tommy. It was fun until it got a little weird at the end of the night.

“You… Want my sperm?” Buck asked.

“We know it’s a weird thing to ask,” Connor said, “But we want a kid so badly and it feels weird for a complete stranger to be the biological father.”

“This is a lot to think about,” Buck said.

“Take your time,” Kameron said, “But also not too much time because we’ve been wanting this for so long, it would be nice to know if we can get started or have to move on. But just know, if you and Tommy ever want kids, I would be happy to carry one for you.”

“Oh, uh,” Buck was glad he hadn’t eaten or drank anything before that, “I think it’s a little soon to be talking about kids, but thank you.”

Tommy went over to Buck’s after he got off of a late shift and collapsed into bed next to him.

“We could have a surrogate if we wanted one,” Buck said, half awake.

Tommy shot up, “What?”

So Buck explained Connor and Kameron’s proposition and Tommy’s face softened, “So when are you going to tell them you’re in?”

“What?” It was Buck’s turn to ask now.

“Well, I haven’t known you long, but you seem like the kind of guy who will always help however you can,” Tommy reasoned, “ And I seem to remember you saying something about this being the year of yes?”

Buck laughed and hit Tommy with a pillow, but the next morning as they were having breakfast together, he called his friends up to let them know he was going to do it. Kameron mentioned surrogacy again, and Buck said he would keep that in the back of his mind for now. Tommy just shook his head while giving Buck a fond look.

Considering he had just discovered a new world of sex, refraining from it until he could donate was torture. But he was going to give Connor and Kameron the best chance he could at this first attempt.

Tommy was supportive, but he was not making it easy on him. Everything Tommy did was sexy. Working out? Sexy. Fixing cars? Sexy. Muay Thai? Sexy. Waking up with sleep rumpled hair? Sexy.

So Buck had to draw a line in the sand- no Tommy until he donated.

But then he kept missing the open hours at the clinic. What was the point of even having a hot and sexy boyfriend if he couldn’t see him?

Finally, he made it. And one of the options they had to bring into the room with him was an old edition of the firefighter calendar. He opened it up and found the perfect inspiration in Mr. April- Tommy Kinard. Now that his sample was done, he couldn’t wait to surprise Tommy and get the real thing.

“I want you to come to my sister’s house warming with me,” Buck said one day.

The 118 and extended family had all met Tommy before and knew they were dating, but this was different. This was going to be the first family event Tommy went to.

“Are you sure?” Tommy asked, “You said your parents would be there.”

Buck smiled and kissed him, “I’m sure. There’s no one else I’d rather have with me. Besides, I stopped caring about what my parents thought of me a long time ago. Bobby’s more like a dad to me anyway.”

“We’ll come back to that part later,” Tommy said, “But if that’s where you want me, then I’m there.”

“What, like you don’t have daddy issues?” Buck asked.

“I don’t,” Tommy said.

“But you think I do?” Buck raised a flirty eyebrow.

“God I hope so.”

They spent the rest of the night exploring just how fun those daddy issues could be.

His parents were surprised, but polite when meeting Tommy. But then Albert brought Chimney’s dad and step-mom as a less than welcome surprise.

But the evening was about to brighten up, because Kameron texted him that the baby was going to be a boy! He happily showed the sonogram to Maddie and Tommy, but then Margaret saw.

“Maddie! You’re pregnant again?” Margaret asked- a mix of happiness and judgement on her face.

“No, mom,” Maddie said.

“It’s mine, technically,” Buck said.

“Oh! You two are…” Margaret’s expression became more pinched going between the sonogram and the two men.

“No! No, it’s too soon for that,” Buck said, “I helped out some friends. So while biologically it’s my baby- I won’t be raising him. It’s Connor and Kameron’s baby.”

And for some reason that set Chimney’s dad off about manhood and somehow his parents were jumping to his defence, even though he could tell they did not agree with him being a sperm donor.

Sure enough, when it was just the Buckleys left, Buck got an earful from his parents about how he was being irresponsible. Apparently they were only defending him because they were the only ones allowed to belittle him.

But that night, when it was just him and Tommy, Tommy kissed the adoration and praise for what he was doing into every inch of skin. And Buck decided who cares what anyone else thought? It was his life, and the people that mattered were supporting him. He knew he was doing a good thing.

The following morning, Buck was getting ready to leave Tommy’s house for a twenty-four, but Tommy stopped him before he could leave, “Our seventy-two off aligns this week. I was thinking I could fly us to wine country for the weekend?”

Buck smiled, “Yeah? That sounds amazing, but a little short notice.”

“It’s the off season and I know a guy.”

Buck gave his boyfriend a kiss and left with a big smile on his face. One more shift and then his first vacation with his boyfriend.

There was lightning everywhere. Buck went up the ladder. And he didn’t remember coming back down.

***

Since he couldn’t fly in the storm, he was working with the ground crew. There were several accidents and electrical fires for all of LAFD to work with, so at least he wasn’t stuck at the station doing nothing. Although, he did wish he had more time to put in some calls with his friends in Napa. He knew this time of year he could just drop in, but a little notice was never a bad thing.

“Kinard, you’re off duty,” Melton said.

“What? But we’re in the middle of a scene right now,” Tommy was confused as to why his captain would be pulling him.

“Sergent Grant is on her way to pick you up,” Melton said.

“Did I do something wrong?” Tommy asked, “Is someone accusing-”

“None of that,” Melton assured him, “She’s taking you to the hospital. Your boy had an accident.”

“An accident?” Tommy asked, “What happened?”

“I don’t know much,” Melton said, “Either Grant knows more, or the 118 will fill you in at the hospital.”

The cruiser pulled up and they said their goodbyes before he got in.

“How is Evan?” Tommy asked.

“Lightning strike,” Athena explained, “Bobby said his heart stopped, but they were able to get it going again. I don’t know much else. He’s with the doctors, now.”

Tommy was tense. He and Evan had been going out for about six months and this was the first time one of them had been seriously hurt on the job. Evan’s heart stopped. He died right before they were supposed to go on a weekend get away.

Athena dropped him off at the doors and he quickly found the 118 plus the Buckley family in the waiting room. They told him the same thing Athena did, and then they were all waiting to hear more.

“You would think the woman carrying Evan’s child would be here,” Tommy heard Margaret quietly huff.

“He has asked you to call him Buck,” Tommy said. He still wondered why Evan let him use his first name, but not his own parents, but that would be a question for another day. They would have another day, “And it’s not his child. It is Connor and Kameron’s child. He just helped them- like he would help anyone he loves. You raised an amazing and selfless man.”

He knew he could have corrected them more harshly. He knew from what Evan told him that their parents didn’t really have anything to do with how he and Maddie turned out. But you catch more flies with honey and he also knew Evan was trying to have an amicable relationship with them.

They stayed silent after that. Soon the doctors came out and gave them an update- Evan was in a coma.

Tommy slept in the uncomfortable hospital chair at his bedside that night- not wanting to leave him alone. And the hospital staff didn’t have the heart to tell him to leave. Since it was the ICU, only two visitors were allowed at a time. While Maddie and the 118 understood Tommy staying, Margaret and Philip made it a whole to do that they couldn’t visit their son at the same time. Tommy briefly thought about caving, but thankfully Maddie supported his decision to stay.

It wasn’t until a few days had passed that Bobby convinced him to go home, take a shower, and get some rest.

“But what if he wakes up?” Tommy asked.

“Then we’ll tell him it was hell getting you to take care of yourself,” Bobby said.

And that was all that he needed to say. He knew Evan wouldn’t like it if Tommy’s health deteriorated on his behalf. So he went home and Margaret and Philip were able to visit him together like they wanted. It was probably going to be a fight to get back in, but he’d worry about that later.

The first thing he did at home was shower, and then he collapsed into bed- ready for the first real sleep since Evan was in that bed with him. He was out for maybe an hour when his phone started ringing.

“Buck is having trouble breathing,” Maddie said, “They’re intubating him.”

He knew the odds once that tube went in. He also knew Evan was someone who typically beat the odds- whether that was positively or negatively.

When he came back to the hospital, they were letting multiple visitors in at once. Tommy tried not to think about that as the hospital letting them say goodbye- Evan would get through this. He had to get through this.

Up until this point, their relationship had mostly been about figuring out what Evan liked. This was all new to him. He knew their relationship had an expiration date when Evan would decide he wanted to explore more, so Tommy was just enjoying the ride.

It wasn’t until this accident that Tommy realized how deep he was in this. He couldn’t say they were just fooling around and having fun anymore. Tommy was in love and it terrified him.

The doctors decided it was time to take the tube out and let him breathe on his own. Those seconds between when the machine stopped and Evan breathed were the longest he’d ever felt, but then he was breathing again and so could Tommy. It wasn’t long after that when Evan finally woke up.

Tommy was in the room when it happened and he ended up crying- he was so relieved. However, when he went home after that, he didn’t go back to the hospital. They were stricter on the number of visitors now that he was awake and he knew all of Evan’s loved ones would want a turn.

Tommy wasn’t sure he had that title.

Since becoming aware of his own feelings, he was scared to go much deeper into the relationship. He knew it would only end in pain, but he also couldn’t leave Evan in his time of need. Tommy hadn’t realized he was doing exactly that until there was a knock on his door one day.

“Evan?” Tommy asked.

Evan put his hand to Tommy's face as he pushed into the house, “Maddie created this whole rotation to keep an eye on me. As if I can’t take care of myself or let people know when I need help. And then the one person I actually wanted to check on me started ghosting me and all his friends.”

“You wanted me to check on you?” Tommy asked, genuinely surprised.

Evan’s expression changed from the hard lines of anger to the soft pinch of confusion, “What do you mean? You’re my boyfriend . I l- of course I want you there. You were with me when I woke up- everyone told me you barely left my side. So why did you leave me now?”

“I thought,” Tommy paused. He wanted to be honest about what was going through his head, but not harsh, “You had never been with a guy before. We started dating because this is your year of yes. I just thought… to you this relationship was a safe space to have fun and explore your sexuality.”

“To me… but not to you?” Evan asked- he seemed like he honestly wanted to know where Tommy was coming from.

“I was fine with that being all it was,” Tommy decided he was going to be completely honest, “But after the lightning… Evan I love you. And I know that’s not what you were looking for-”

And then lips were on his, but the kiss didn’t last long because Evan was smiling too much.

“You love me?” Evan asked.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well good, because I love you, too,” Evan was grinning from ear to ear, “I don’t know when it happened, but I was irritable when Josh was visiting and he asked some questions and I realized I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Move in with me,” Tommy said.

“What?”

“Maybe not right now- breaking the lease on that loft would be an expensive hassle,” Tommy started thinking through the logistics, “But I just think-”

“Why be apart when we could be together?” Evan asked.

It was like Evan read his mind and he had to kiss the man about it.

Before Evan moved in, Kameron made herself at home in the loft and ended up delivering the baby on the couch. Thankfully Tommy’s home was fully furnished, so the couch was replaced when he moved in.

A few months after they started living together, Tommy was flying the love of his life and their chosen family into a hurricane. After they all survived a successful mission, Tommy wasn’t surprised when Evan proposed. And Tommy decided to start his own year of yes with a very simple answer to that question.