Chapter Text
Looking back at it, the night Rumi's pack started to figure it out was a quiet one. It had been three weeks since the Honmoon was sealed, and Huntrix was on a much needed hiatus. In fact, Mira had made it clear to Rumi that relaxing was no longer optional, not after her stress had reached the point of growing fangs and claws. So here Rumi was, in the living room of their tower suite, cuddling into Mira's side for some much-needed “Couch Time” while Zoey prepped ramyeon in the kitchen, trying her very best to relax.
It wasn't working.
Despite everything – opening up about her demon side, letting Bobby take over for her work tasks, letting Mira drape an arm around her and hold her safe – Rumi couldn't shut down the worry in her brain. Not even her fellow alpha's chillis-and-chocolate scent wafting over her helped. She was trying, trying so hard to quiet her head and accept a peaceful vacation with her loving pack, but she just couldn't. Not when her head was filled with memories of how aggressive and alpha-y she'd gotten when her demon side took over, or the way her packmates had looked at her… All was forgiven, sure, but Rumi still knew what they'd thought of her, and that didn't just go away.
Apparently her worry was slipping into her scent, because Mira pulled her tighter into the cuddles and asked, “You okay?”
“Do you ever think about what'd be like to not be an alpha?” asked Rumi, casual, like it was just a fun hypothetical.
Mira raised an eyebrow, looking down at where Rumi was cuddled into her side. “What, like if I had presented different? Not really, why?”
“I dunno, I've just been thinking about it. If it'd feel different, I guess. Have you really never wondered?”
“I mean, I guess I've tried to empathize in passing, 'cause I know we have more privilege and stuff, but beyond that… I like being me, you know?”
Rumi shrugged, starting to get nervous under Mira's intense gaze. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” she mumbled, noncommittally.
Mira tilted her head, analyzing her.
“Hmm.”
“What?” Rumi asked, perhaps a tad more defensive than necessary.
“Oh, nothing,” shrugged Mira. “Do you think about that a lot? Sounds like it's been on your mind.”
Something about Mira's reaction to her question had Rumi increasingly nervous. She did her best to hide it, but she could smell her anxiety in the air, souring the usual roasted caramel of her alpha scent.
“Uh, not really, no,” said Rumi, scent only souring further. “Forget I asked.”
Mira nodded, giving Rumi's shoulder a squeeze, but another voice piped up.
“Asked what?” said Zoey, cheerfully entering the room while balancing three steaming ramyeon cups in two hands. “What'd I miss?”
“Nothing!” Rumi tried to say, but Mira spoke at the same time, drowning her out.
“Rumi was wondering if I ever wanted to not be an alpha. I said nah, but its an interesting question, right?”
“I asked if you'd ever wondered what it was like," corrected Rumi.
“Sure, same diff.”
Zoey glanced between the two, nostrils flaring slightly as she read their scents, her own nougat-and-peanut scent twisting with light concern. “Hmm, I mean, sometimes I wonder about being an alpha or omega, but that's mostly because people are always talking shit about how ‘betas can never understand the passion of heats and ruts’ or whatever. Like, I can't help but be curious when you put it like that, but also I'm pretty sure it's all just dynamicist bullshit, yno?” Zoey smiled softly. “Anyways, why do you ask, Rumi?”
Rumi groaned, burying her face into Mira's side. “Forget it. Weird question.”
With her face hidden in the crook of Mira's arm, Rumi didn't see her packmates share a meaningful look. But there was ramyeon to eat, so after a subtle pause, they left it at that.
***
A few days later, Rumi woke up feeling gross. Sweat soaked sheets, elevated heart rate, body buzzing with a frustratingly undirected energy. There was a moment of confusion, and then Rumi clocked it for what it was: pre-rut.
Rumi groaned with frustration, pulling herself out of bed. Rut sucked, always leaving her horny and exhausted at the same time. She never understood why other alphas celebrated it. Probably the typical knotheaded obsession with virility, she supposed. Thank god she wasn't one of those alphas.
Still, there was nothing to be done about it. Grumbling, she made her way to the kitchen, where she was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of chilli-chocolate scent. Zoey and Mira were sat at the kitchen island, nursing their morning coffees, though from the smell you'd think the room was filled with 15 Miras, Zoey's subtler nougat scent completely drowned out.
“Woah,” said Rumi. “You're hitting rut too?”
Mira nodded, but Zoey squeaked with excitement. “Too!? As in, my girls are finally syncing up? Oh my gosh, that's such a big pack milestone!”
Upon realizing that her packmates were staring at her, Zoey froze, suddenly turning beet red. “Uh, I mean, uh… Sorry, is it weird to be excited about this? I feel like it's weird.”
Mira chuckled, breaking the tension of the room. “Nah, I think it's cute that you nerd out about our cycles. It's nice to see our beta is paying attention to these things. It's how we know you'll keep us safe when we're both out of our heads.”
Zoey squirmed into the compliment, her excitement returning as quick as it had gone. “Ooh, and now that Rumi's not hiding her patterns, she doesn't have a reason to stop me from doting on her! We can all spend it together, finally get the full pack experience!”
Rumi blanched. “Uh… I don't think that's a good idea. I get kinda awful when I'm in rut.”
Zoey and Mira glanced at each other, Mira raising an eyebrow, Zoey shrugging in response. “Define awful,” said Mira, nonchalant as ever.
“Like, I get cranky and short tempered, and I can't keep still, and get all gross and… desperate. It's to a point where I don't know that I'd be able to control my urges, plus sometimes my demon claws come out which might come off as threatening, so, yeah…” Rumi trailed off for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Just kind of an all around awful experience, you know? You don't need to see that.”
Mira blinked. “That's it? Rumi, those are just normal rut symptoms. Well, except the demon claw thing, but didn't we already decide that you're not hiding your demon side anymore?”
Rumi shook her head. “No, I'm telling you, it's awful, like… Mira, you always say that you like your ruts, right?. Mine suck. I don't want to make you guys deal with them.”
Zoey stepped down from her stool, pulling Rumi into a hug that had the alpha side of her perking up with joy. “Rumi, that's probably just because you've refused rut partners for so long. Let us take care of you, maybe you'll see that it's fun.”
Mira smirked. “Yeah, I mean, I definitely have a good time when Zoey ‘takes care’ of my rut.”
Rumi was pretty sure she'd never blushed harder in her life. But… she did have to admit that being taken care of sounded nice, especially to the rut-fueled side of her brain. And she had promised no more secrets, so… “Okay… I'll try it. As long as I can go back to my room if it's too much.”
Zoey broke the hug to look into her eyes, grinning ear to ear. “Deal.”
***
Rumi made it about fifteen minutes into her proper rut before things got unbearable. It had started fine enough – Rumi was determined to give rutting with her pack a chance, so she let herself be laid out on Mira's bed, let Zoey coo over her while Mira pinned her shoulders down, enjoying the feeling of giving up control to her pack. But when Zoey pressed her hand against the hardness in Rumi's pants, her mind suddenly flooded with instinct-fueled thoughts of taking and claiming and hurting Zoey in ways that the rest of her just wasn't okay with. The gross-rut feeling came back stronger than it ever had, making her sick to her stomach. Panicked, Rumi tried to move, but Mira's grip was still firm and Zoey's weight was still atop her and suddenly the rut-brain hated not being in control just as much as Rumi-brain needed to be away from here.
Before Rumi could process what was happening, the hands holding her down were gone, and Zoey was pulling off her with intense worry plastered on her face. Rumi shot out of the bed and scrambled away from her partners before she caught her breath enough that she heard it: She was growling , a hurt, territorial noise that was nothing like the possessive, sexy alpha growl that she liked so much coming from Mira. She looked down at her arms and saw her patterns flaring with anger, burning with cold demonic fire, and her heart sunk somewhere deep inside of her.
“Sorry, sorry sorry sorry,” begged Rumi. She couldn't help but beat herself up, knowing how much her packmates had wanted to do this with her. She wanted it too, she swore, she loved her pack, her girls, but… she couldn't. It just felt so wrong.
“Everything okay, Rumi?” asked Zoey, the naked concern in her eyes making Rumi's heart melt.
“Yeah, I- I mean, no. It's not, it's really not. Sorry, I promise that I did want to do this.” She felt her body pacing as she spoke, though she didn't command it to do so. “I just, I hate the way my instincts feel right now. I don't want you to see me like this, I-” she cut herself off when she felt the tears threaten to form. “Sorry. I'm gonna go now.”
Zoey started to reach out to comfort her, but paused when Rumi flinched away. Mira, in a voice held forcibly calm against the instincts of her own rut, broke the silence. “Don't apologize. We want you to take care of yourself. If that means rutting alone, we support it. Seriously.”
Rumi nodded, turned, and ran out the door before the tears could fall, trying her hardest to ignore the quiet “we love you” from Zoey as she ran away.
The rest of her rut felt even more disgusting than normal.