Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jisung was supposed to be dead.

That was the first thought to cross his mind when he opened his eyes. He wasn’t in his room anymore. He wasn’t even inside. Instead, he was standing on the sidewalk of an empty street. The soft purples and oranges of twilight peeked through the gaps in the buildings. The whole city seemed to be asleep, frozen in time.

‘Is this what death is like?’ Jisung thought. He glanced down to his hands, half expecting them to be missing or see through. Nope, they were actually there. He brought one up to his face and felt the roundness of his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, the softness of his lips. It felt all too familiar, but wrong at the same time.

A tightness began to bloom in Jisung’s chest. His heart pounded in his ears as he glanced up and down the street. Everything was so quiet, so dark.

A single light peeked through a street level window only a few paces away. Jisung nodded, forcing his breath to slow down. Where there was light, there was someone who must have turned it on. He wasn’t alone after all.

Jisung pulled the hood of his sweater over his head and began walking toward the light. As he got closer, he realized it was a cafe. There was a sign out front featuring a white cat drinking matcha. The cafe itself glowed in a soft pink light. Someone else was sitting in a corner, drinking tea and locking eyes with the laptop screen in front of him. The man’s long silver and red hair was pulled back into a half bun on the back of his head.

The door chimed when Jisung stepped foot inside the cafe. The stranger glanced over and greeted Jisung with the warmest smile he’d ever seen.

“You’re here,” the stranger said. His accent was strange, his words coming out slightly different than what Jisung was used to hearing. “How are you doing mate?”

“I’m… fine?” Jisung said. “Who are you? Were you waiting for me or something?”

“Yeah,” the stranger said, closing his laptop screen. “Been waiting here for quite a while, actually. Nice to meet you. I’m Chris, but you can call me Chan if you like.”

Chris/Chan extended a hand to Jisung. Jisung just stared down at it. His head was spinning. “Where… Where are we? Last thing I remember…”

Fragments of memories flashed in Jisung’s mind. The sound of his guitar smashing against his bedroom wall, the bright fluorescent lights of his bathroom, the stinging cold of tears running down his cheeks. The tightness in his chest grew stronger, stealing the breath from his lungs.

Suddenly, Chan gripped Jisung’s shoulder. It was a tight grip, but not painfully so. Jisung realized at that moment that he was crying.

“Hey,” he said, angling his head down to make eye contact with Jisung. His brow was furrowed, his stare intense. “It’s alright. You’re alright, yeah?”

Chan’s voice was gentle and firm. His eyes met Jisung’s with a softness he had not seen before. It was as if this stranger actually cared for him. The overwhelming flashes of memories slowed. Despite feeling like he was being crushed under his feelings, Chan made Jisung believe, just for that moment, that maybe he would be alright.

Jisung nodded quickly, trying to shake the lingering visions from his head. “Yeah,” he managed to whisper.

Chan smiled and gave one last squeeze to Jisung’s shoulder. “Why don’t you come sit with me? Want something to drink?”

Jisung glanced behind the cafe counter. He was almost confident there was no one else in the store beside the two of them.

“Oh don’t worry about that,” Chan chimed in before sliding back into the seat he was at before. “Just think about what drink you want and it will be ready for you.”

“That seems strange,” Jisung said softly.

“Just trust me,” Chan smiled.

So Jisung did. He closed his eyes and pictured the drink in his mind. When he opened them again, there it was. A taro milk tea waiting on the cafe counter with his name inked into the side of the cup.
Jisung blinked and then blinked again. “How…”

“It’s one of my favorite parts about this place,” Chan explained. “No matter what you need, it is always waiting right there for you.”

“Okay,” Jisung took the cup hesitantly. “For real, what is this place? Why were you waiting for me? Why does the city feel so empty? How do you even know it was me you were waiting for?”

Chan took a sip of his tea, opening his laptop as Jisung rattled off each question. He waited a couple breaths longer, allowing the final question to linger in the air between them before motioning for Jisung to take the chair opposite him. Jisung did, clutching on to the tea cup like his life depended on it.

“It’s okay that you have a lot of questions,” Chan started. “Everyone does when they first get here. I’ll try my best to answer them all, but I promise that everything you need and want to know will be answered in time.”

Chan waited another moment, looking at Jisung expectantly. When Jisung didn’t react, Chan just nodded and continued.

“You, Han Jisung, are in a place I like to call Nowhere.”

“How did you–”

“Know your name?” Chan said. “I know the name of every lost soul I am destined to help.”

Jisung stared at Chan wide-eyed. Condensation was growing on the outside of his cup.

“Are you like a god or something?” Jisung asked.

Chan laughed. It was an infectious laugh that almost made Jisung forget about the strange situation he found himself in. Almost.

“Nah, nothing like that,” Chan said. “Just another mate trying to help others end up where they are meant to be. Lots of types of people come through Nowhere. They end up here when they leave Earth before they are allowed the chance to do the things they were destined to do.”

“So I am dead then?”

“In a way, yes. Though not completely.”

Jisung blinked. His mind was spinning. What Chan was saying wasn’t making any sense. How could he be dead but also not completely dead?

“You should really take a drink of that,” Chan nodded toward the tea. “It might help calm your nerves.”

Jisung took a hesitant sip. Immediately, his tastebuds lit up with the familiar and comforting taste of the tea. Chan was right, a phrase that Jisung realized he might be saying more often.

“Anyway,” Chan continued. “Think of this as your second chance. A way for you to correct mistakes you made in your life and move on from them.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Chan laughed. “That’s something you have to figure out on your own.”

Silence stretched between them. Jisung bounced his leg up and down beneath the table. There was so much he still didn’t know, but thanks to Chan, he at least had some answers now.

Jisung died and is now stuck in some sort of purgatory realm. He had to figure out some mysterious unfinished business from his life to get out of here. This cafe had the best milk tea he’s ever tasted.

“Chan?” Jisung finally asked after a few more stretched out moments.

“Yeah?”

“What happens once I correct those mistakes?”

Chan leaned back in his chair, face toward the ceiling. The pastel pink lights made the red parts of his hair stand out even more.

“I don’t really know, to be honest,” he said. “I haven’t done it myself, otherwise I wouldn’t be here with you right now. But others have told me that you get to go back to Earth and fulfill your destiny.”

Jisung stared at the table and took another sip of his tea. There was something equally comforting and terrifying about getting a second chance.

Chan typed away on his keyboard for a few moments, the soft clicking sound soothing some of the discomfort still rattling around inside Jinsung’s chest. He wanted to ask what he was typing, but it did not seem like the right time.

“When you’re ready,” Chan said. “I can show you my place. You’re welcome to stay there, but if you would rather live on your own there are plenty of options for that too.”

The thought of being left alone in the Nowhere was terrifying. “No, I don’t think I’m ready to be on my own yet.”

Chan nodded. “No worries mate, most aren’t when they first arrive. That’s okay.”

Jisung finished his tea, savoring every sip for as long as he could. As the last drop touched his lips, he could think of no excuse to drag it on any longer. Plus, a part of him was eager to see more and learn more about this new place where he was meant to find his destiny.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

Chan smiled and tucked his laptop under one arm. The door bell chimed sweetly as they walked out of the tea shop and into whatever lay ahead.

Chapter Text

The street was no different than the first time Jisung saw it. Same purple and orange sky. Same building silhouettes casting barely there shadows against the empty road. The same streetlights, perfectly spaced to keep Jisung from tripping over his own feet.

He turned back to get one final look at the cafe. The lights were completely off, the cat drinking boba out front no longer inviting people to come inside and grab their favorite tea. Jisung wondered what would happen if he came back to that shop one day.

Chan hummed softly as they walked down the street. The song was somewhat familiar to Jisung, though he could not remember the name. It was a soft melody, both sad and reassuring at the same time.

“I hope you get along well with the other guys,” Chan said after humming the song’s final note.

Jisung’s stomach began to ache. “Other guys?”

“Yeah, there’s a few others,” Chan said. “They’re cool. I helped them get settled when they first arrived the same way I’m helping you now.”

Jisung grabbed his arm tight, knuckles turning white under the pressure. “Do they all live with you, too?”

Chan’s eyes widened and he shook his head fiercely. “Oh no, sorry not like that. Most of them did at one point, but now we all have our own places. Felix and Jeongin still live in the same building, though.”

Jisung’s grip on his arm eased up ever so slightly. He knew he had to calm down, but that’s always easier said than done. Right now, he felt he just needed some space to breathe.

The sound of bubbling water reached Jisung before he even saw the park up ahead. It was darker than the street, only parts of the trail showing under the small lanterns evenly spaced along the side of the pavement. A fountain stood proudly in the dead center of the park, illuminated with its own internal blue and purple lights.

Before Jisung knew what he was doing, he was already halfway across the street. He vaguely registered Chan’s footsteps behind him. It didn’t matter as much at that moment. The only thing that mattered was getting to that fountain.

Mist softly sprayed Jisung in the face once he was close enough. The cold felt good against his skin. Chan stopped a few yards behind him, allowing Jisung the space he needed in that moment.

He didn’t know how long he stood like that, eyes closed standing next to the fountain ledge. Time didn’t seem to matter as much in this world, a thought that was both reassuring and slightly unnerving.

Something splashed in the water only a few feet from where Jisung stood, causing him to jump and fall right on his ass.. At first, he thought it was Chan. When he looked up, however, Jisung locked eyes with the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

This stranger’s dark brown hair hung in his face ever so slightly. The lights from the fountain danced across the soft lean features of his face. He did not look away from Jisung, though his expression was unreadable.

Jisung forgot everything, even his own name for a brief moment. That was, until he felt the cold water seep through the butt of his jeans. In an instant, the dreamlike state he had been in since he first arrived was shattered.

“Wh-what the hell was that for?” Jisung stammered, his voice raising louder with each word.

The stranger reached down to pick something up from the water. It was a large round rock. “I was trying to skip this across the water.”

The man’s soft mumbled words made Jisung’s heart flutter, though that could have easily been the anxiety from almost getting smacked with a rock the size of his fist.

“You could have hit me!” Jisung knew he was yelling at this point, but couldn’t bring himself to quiet down.

“I didn’t though,” the other man said, his face still expressionless. His eyes moved down Jisung’s body and Jisung felt his cheeks heating up under his stare. “Do you know that your clothes are getting wet?”

“Yes I can feel that, thank you very much,” Jisung snapped.

The stranger didn’t respond, but didn't offer to help him up either. Instead, his gaze shifted to look at something behind Jisung.

“Oh shit,” Chan said as he ran up to Jisung. “Are you alright mate?”

Jisung looked at Chan then looked back at the stranger. “I’m fine,” he said. “Can you help me up, please?”

Chan extended a hand to Jisung and yanked him to his feet. Jisung tried to shake some of the water from his clothes and looked around to confront the annoyingly beautiful stranger, but he was already gone.

“Who was that?” Jisung asked, still looking around to try and spot a final glimpse of the stranger.

“I’m… not sure,” Chan admitted. “I haven’t seen him around before.”

Jisung huffed and looked back down at his clothes. They were almost completely soaked. A chill started sneaking its way into his bones.

“You’re shivering,” Chan said. “Come on, my place is only a block away from here.”

Jisung nodded, teeth chattering against each other. “Do you know where I can get more clothes?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Chan said, taking off his own coat and throwing it over Jisung’s shoulders. “I’m sure there’s already some in the room waiting for you. That’s just how it works in the Nowhere.”

Chapter Text

Chan’s apartment was bigger than Jisung expected.

Maybe it was because Jisung was used to living in a studio apartment with too much junk and too little space. Maybe it was because everything seemed perfectly balanced, every trinket placed with intention. Maybe it was the sweet smell of floral incense that filled the space with calming, positive energy.

It was probably a combination of all of the above.

Jisung felt out of place. He was cold and soaking wet and probably ruining Chan’s entryway. He wished he never set foot in that park, wished he could go back to the dreamlike feeling he had been in before meeting the frustratingly handsome stranger at the fountain. Now, everything felt too real.

“Come on,” Chan placed a gentle hand on Jisung’s shoulder. “I’ll show you to your room. Hopefully you’ll like it.”

Jisung nodded and allowed himself to be guided down the small hallway. When Chan opened the door at the end, Jisung’s breath caught in his throat.

It was his room. Or at least a pretty damn perfect replica of it.

Posters of his favorite shows and musicians cluttered the walls. His sage green comforter was draped over the bed along the back wall. The stuffed quokka from his childhood sat on the dresser, looking at him with the same eager eyes it always has. Even the papers and notebooks on the small desk showed his sloppy notes.

In the corner of the room propped up against the wall was his guitar, all in one piece.

“How did you do this?” Jisung turned to Chan, his voice barely a whisper.

Chan gave a nervous smile and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s really not a big deal. When I’m told who I’m meant to help, everything else kind of just happens. The Nowhere starts shifting to welcome them. It apparently knew you wouldn’t decline my offer, considering my office is now your bedroom. The decorations are nice though.”

Jisung didn’t know what to say next. Nothing made sense here. None of this should have been here. The ground under his feet felt like it was spinning and the tightness in his chest made it impossible to breathe.

He felt like he was dying.

Could he even die?

Chan’s eyes grew wide once he realized what was happening. “Shit, Jisung.” His voice was edged with worry. “I’m sorry. Let’s sit down, okay?”

Jisung didn’t respond, but allowed himself to be coaxed down onto the edge of the bed. His breathing was too fast, too shallow. It left him gasping for air.

Chan wrapped his arms around Jisung and refused to let go.

“You’re alright, I got you.”

The hug was tight, strong but not painfully so. Jisung felt his panic slowly ease away and his breathing return to normal. His body collapsed into Chan’s chest. He was exhausted.

They stayed like that for a while. Jisung was the first to break the silence.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was quiet and broken.

“Don’t be,” Chan said reassuringly. “You alright?”

Jisung nodded and straightened up ever so slightly. Chan’s grip loosened to give him space to move.

“I think I’m ready to put on some clean clothes though.”

“Oh, right,” Chan said. “Okay, well I am just in the other room if you need anything.”

Chan closed the door gently when he left the room. Jisung took a shaky breath and looked around the room one more time. His eyes landed once again on his guitar.

It was nothing special really. Anyone who saw it would think it was just a cheap, hand-me-down electric guitar. To Jisung, however, it represented everything wrong in his life. Every expectation that went unmet. Every failure and reminder that he would never be the person his family expected him to be.

“I thought I was done with you,” Jisung said to the guitar.

The guitar did not respond.

Jisung sighed and threw his soggy sweater over the guitar. At least this way he didn’t have to look at it.

----

The colors of twilight still peeked through the apartment windows when Jisung emerged from the room. He had changed into a black tank top and gray sweats.

Chan was sitting at the kitchen table staring at his laptop, head bobbing to whatever was playing in his headphones.

“Hey,” he said. Chan looked up and pulled the headphones off his head. “I wanted to say thanks.”

Chan gave Jisung a gentle smile. “No need to thank me. That wasn’t the first time that’s happened to someone here, probably won’t be the last either.”

Jisung sat down on the other side of the table and thought about how lucky he was to have found Chan.

His mind then wandered back to the fountain and the stranger that not even Chan recognized. Jisung wondered if he had someone like Chan.

Maybe he had been there so long that he didn’t need someone like that. Maybe he was another like Chan who helped others.

Either way, Jisung just hoped he wasn’t alone.

Chapter Text

Someone knocked loudly on the door to Chan’s apartment.

Jisung stirred in bed, slowly regaining consciousness.

His body ached and his mouth was dry. He remembered telling Chan he was going to call it for the night. He must have been out for a while, if the drool stain on his pillow was any indication.

When he glanced outside his window, the same twilight sky greeted him. He blinked.

Time must work differently in this world.

The knocking came louder this time. Jisung heard Chan’s voice followed by footsteps heading into the living room.

“Hey mate!” Chan’s voice was loud, even through Jisung’s bedroom door. “Good to see you!”

Another voice responded, though Jisung could not make out the words. Then the sound of laughter filled the entire apartment.

Jisung’s entire body protested, but he managed to pull himself out of bed anyway. He dragged himself to the bedroom door and slowly cracked it open to see who Chan was speaking to.

The first thing Jisung noticed about the guy standing in the living room was his unnatural beauty. His features were delicate, the perfect blend between masculine and feminine. Long blonde hair caught in the light like sunshine. Freckles were scattered along his face. His smile eased some of the tension in Jisung’s chest without even trying.

Chan and the new guy were smiling at each other, still laughing from a joke Jisung didn’t hear. He was contemplating whether to disappear back into the room when Chan and the other guy finally noticed him.

“Oh hey Jisung!” Chan smiled at him. He motioned Jisung to come over. “Glad to see you’re up. Felix just popped by for a quick visit.”

The stranger, Felix, smiled at Jisung. One arm was holding a box while the other extended out to Jisung. “Nice to meet you, mate.”

Jisung was NOT expecting this soft, angelic-looking man to have a voice that deep. His accent sounded strangely similar to Chan's. “Oh,” he said, walking over and shaking Felix’s hand. “Um, hey.”

“Jisung just arrived here,” Chan explained. “He’s still getting used to everything.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Felix said. “Well, don’t worry. It’s really not that different from Earth, just a lot less people to worry about. Here, want a brownie?”

Felix grabbed the box from beneath his arm and opened it to show Jisung. Inside were perfectly cut, fudgy brownies. Just looking at them made Jisung’s mouth water.

“Felix really does make the best brownies,” Chan said. “One of the things I missed the most when he moved out.”

“Ah don’t be like that Chris,” Felix laughed. “You know I’m just down the hall.”

Jisung took one of the brownies and popped it in his mouth. It was rich and chocolatey without being overly sweet. It really was one of the best brownies he had ever tasted.

“Oh wow,” he said. “This is amazing.”

“Thank you,” Felix beamed. “I’ve had a lot of time to perfect the recipe since being here.”

A question lingered in Jisung’s mind. It was out of his mouth before he had the chance to think better of it.

“How long have you been dead?”

Neither Chan nor Felix responded for a moment. The smile on Chan’s face flickered for just a second before snapping back into place. Jisung’s cheeks grew hot. He was about to bolt back into his room when Felix finally let out a small laugh.

“A while,” he said. “Though not as long as some of the others, that’s for sure.”

Felix playfully pushed Chan’s arm. Chan laughed and pushed him back.

“Oh god,” Jisung stammered. “I’m sorry that was–”

“No, no, it’s okay, really!” Felix said, putting his hands up to try and calm Jisung down. “It just caught me off guard, that’s all. Not everyone likes to think about how we ended up here, but that’s a lot harder to do when you first show up.”

Jisung nodded and tried to break the tension growing in his chest. He offered a small smirk to Chan and Felix. “Well if dying is what it took to try those brownies I wish I would have done it sooner.”

It was a dumb joke, but Chan and Felix laughed anyway. Jisung breathed a small sigh of relief.

“I actually didn’t just come over to drop off brownies,” Felix said. “The guys are coming over to my place later for a little game night. You both are welcome to come if you like!”

Chan looked at Jisung, a question.

Jisung sucked in a breath of air and pushed the worries in his chest further down. He smiled.

“Sure, I’d love to meet more people!”

Chan smiled and nodded to Felix as well. “Thanks, Lix. Count us in.”

—------

Jisung went back to his room and finally changed out of his pajamas. As he did, he began thinking too much about meeting even more unfamiliar faces. He didn’t want to seem rude, especially since Chan had been so kind ever since he first arrived, but even the thought of mingling with a group of strangers was overwhelming.

He finished pulling a light blue sweater over his head and sighed. Maybe meeting all these new people will be worth it? Maybe it would lead him to the destiny he was supposed to find? He kept telling himself it would all be worth it in the end. It had to be.

Jisung opened the blinds to his window, letting the soft glow of streetlights and twilight spread across his room. When he looked out, he could just barely make out the faint blue and purple glow of the park fountain.

Someone was moving on the street down below. It was hard to make out the details, but Jisung watched the figure take a few steps, bend down to pick something up off the ground and look at whatever they picked up before tossing it aside. This happened three more times before the person’s silhouette finally wiggled with joy and placed the thing in their pocket.

When the person stepped into the full glow of one of the streetlights, Jisung immediately recognized him.

It was the handsome stranger who made him fall on his ass into the fountain.

Jisung opened his window and stuck his head out.

“Hey,” he shouted.

The stranger looked up and locked eyes with Jisung. It was too far away to be sure, but Jisung swore he saw a smile on his face.

“It’s you again,” the man yelled back.

“What are you doing?” Jisung asked.

The man looked around and pulled something out of his pocket. “Getting more rocks for the fountain.”

“Do you even know how to skip rocks?”

“No,” the man admitted. “That’s why I am trying to learn.”

They stared at each other for a long while. Jisung didn’t know why he didn’t go inside and shut the window. But something deep inside his chest, a slight fluttering feeling he didn’t have the name for quite yet, kept him right where he was.

Finally, he asked the question that had been weighing on his mind.

“What’s your name?”

The stranger cocked his head then gave a small salute with the hand holding the rock. “Call me Minho.”

“Minho,” Jisung whispered to himself. It seemed to fit perfectly, flowing off the tip of his tongue more naturally than his own name.

He poked his head out the window again. “I’m Jisung,” he shouted.

But Minho was already gone.

Chapter Text

Felix’s apartment was loud and chaotic and full of laughter. The air was permeated with the faint hint of sugar.

Jisung shoved his hands into his pockets and searched the room for Chan. At least half a dozen people mingled in the space, smiling and telling jokes that Jisung couldn’t hear. The faces began to blur together. No one even seemed to notice he was there.

Felix’s head popped up from around the corner. When his gaze landed on Jisung, he gave an infectious smile that helped ease Jisung’s worries.

“You’re here!” Felix yelled. “Everyone, come meet Jisung.”

Suddenly, all eyes were turned onto him. Jisung felt like shrinking at first until he realized each person was looking at him with happiness instead of the judgement he had grown so used to in his previous life.

“Nice to meet you,” a man with eyes that reminded Jisung of a fox smiled. “I’m Jeongin.”

The group went around and introduced themself one-by-one. Jisung tried to remember each name, but it quickly became clear that it was going to take some time. He just kept smiling, shaking heads, laughing when appropriate and ending each interaction with “Nice to meet you.”

“So Jisung,” one of the guys, Seungmin if Jisung’s memory was right, chimed in once formalities were over. “Where are you staying right now?”

“He’s staying with me,” Chan said from his spot in front of Felix’s computer. He was playing some game that Jisung didn’t recognize.

“Eww, I’m sorry,” Seungmin said, patting Jisung on the shoulder with mock sympathy. “My deepest sympathies for you, my friend. Hopefully you’re not a light sleeper.”

Chan and the rest of the group laughed at Seungmin’s teasing. Someone smacked Seungmin’s arm with a pillow. Jisung felt a smile, a genuine one, creep onto his cheeks.

It felt nice to feel included.

Eventually, alcohol started flowing and the group began playing games together. Jisung smiled and laughed and played along with everyone’s antics. After only a single beer, he was pleasantly drunk.

“Hey, you can’t do that!” Changbin yelled from the other side of the table.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Seungmin said, straight faced as he placed a card on the pile.

“You totally cheated! You stole a card from Hyunjin’s hand. I saw you!”

The room burst into laughter. Jisung’s whole body was radiating warmth in a way he hadn’t felt in years.

After a few more games, some delicious food and desserts from Felix’s kitchen and so much laughter that Jisung’s sides hurt, he somehow found himself laying in a pile on the floor with the others.

It was a comfortable quiet occasionally broken up with drunk giggles and playful teasing. It felt like friendship.

Jisung’s mind began to wander. He thought about Minho trying to learn to skip rocks in a park fountain. The way his face looked illuminated by the streetlights. The excited wiggles he did when he found what he believed to be the perfect rock.

“What are you smiling about?” Changbin asked, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Jisung with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “You look like you were just thinking about someone.”

“He’s probably thinking about me,” Hyunjin teased.

“Come on guys,” Chan started. “Give him a break. He just met all of you.”

Jisung was grateful for Chan at that moment. He didn’t know how to explain to everyone what was actually on his mind, so he settled on the next best thing.

“I’m just happy to be here,” he said. “I’ve never had friends like this before.”

“Aww, friends!” Felix laughed and pounced onto Jisung, landing with a heavy thud. Jisung laughed and tried to push him off, but the others quickly joined and piled on.

Eventually, everyone started to slowly leave the apartment. It started with Changbin and Hyunjin, who said their goodbyes and left as a pair. Jeongin was passed out on the back of the couch and Chan decided he would take him to his apartment on the floor below. Seungmin was the last to leave, taking a plate of snacks and Felix’s baked goods with him as he said his goodbyes.

Soon, it was just Felix and Jisung left. They sat on the floor of the living room, lazily watching a music video playing on the television.

“I’m really glad you decided to come out,” Felix said softly.

“Why’s that?”

“You just looked like you needed some good company. I remember how terrifying it was when I first got here.”

Jisung didn’t respond at first, just stared at the screen in front of them.

“I don’t even know why I’m here,” Jisung finally admitted. “I don’t know what I am supposed to be looking for or what my greater purpose would even be. I’m just me.”

Felix placed a hand on Jisung’s arm, massaging it gently. “You don’t have to worry about all that right now. There’s all the time in the world to figure that out. Right now, just being you is enough.”

Jisung’s eyes stung. Felix pulled him close and wrapped him into a hug. Jisung felt he could get used to this.

“Thank you,” he said when he finally pulled away.

“No need to thank me,” Felix said. “Just saying it how it is.”

Jisung nodded and glanced toward Felix’s living room window. Outside, he saw a silhouette moving through the park.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk,” Jisung said, his words still slightly slurred from the lingering effects of the alcohol.

“Want to go together?”

“No, no,” he said, still staring out the window. “I want to go by myself.”

Felix smiled and nodded, though Jisung didn’t see it. He was already making his way to the front door.

“Have fun mate, see you again soon.”

Chapter Text

Jisung stumbled onto the street, barely catching himself on the side of the building. His eyes were glossed over, cheeks flushed. The second he stepped outside, it became increasingly aware he was more drunk than he thought. He was also determined to get to the park.

The streets were quiet, something Jisung was already starting to get used to. He walked in as straight of a line as he could manage until he found himself at the edge of the pavement leading to the fountain.

Just as he suspected, there was someone throwing rocks into the water.

“Hey,” he yelled.

Minho turned to face him, eyes wide.

Jisung walked closer, tripping over the air in front of him every few steps but never fully falling. Not this time.

“I had something to say to you,” Jisung slurred. He put his hand on Minho’s shoulder, using it as an anchor point to make sure he stayed vertical.

“Are you drunk?” Minho asked. He didn’t back away or move closer. He just stared at Jisung with his annoyingly handsome face.

“No. Maybe. That’s not what I wanted to say,” Jisung said. He put a hand on his chest and stood up as straight as he could manage. “I’m Jisung.”

“Okay,” Minho said. “Hi Jisung.”

“You told me your name,” Jisung pointed in the general direction of where his room probably was. “But didn’t let me say mine. Kind of rude if you ask me.”

Minho looked at the hand still gripping his shoulder then at Jisung’s face.

“You’re right, I was rude.”

“Damn right I’m right,” Jisung said. “First you make me fall into the fountain and don’t even help me up. Then you leave without even asking my name. Why do you keep coming here anyway?”

Minho pulled a handful of rocks out of his pocket. They were heavy and too large and oddly shaped to be any good for skipping.

“What’s so special about skipping rocks?” Jisung asked.

Minho shrugged. Jisung lost his grip on Minho’s shoulder and felt himself lurching forward. He tried to brace for impact.

Yet the impact never came.

Instead, Minho’s hand was grabbing Jisung’s arm, holding him firmly in place.

Even through the fabric of the sweater, Jisung’s skin felt electric under Minho’s touch. His eyes widened, his heart pounded in his throat. For that brief second, Jisung swore he forgot how to breathe.

He looked up at Minho, who was staring back at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. Then, a small smirk settled on Minho’s face.

“It seems you can’t stop falling for me,” Minho said, voice barely above a whisper.

Jisung sucked in a breath and tried to calm the fluttering feeling in his stomach. Minho’s words and sly smirk made him feel like his whole body was on fire.

He told himself it was just the alcohol.

“I-” Jisung stammered. “I have to go.”

Minho nodded, the knowing smirk still on his lips.

Jisung pulled his arm free, but his skin still buzzed in the spot where Minho held him. He tried to shake the feeling off, but it still continued to linger.

As Jisung walked away, he heard Minho’s soft voice call out once more.

“Come find me again sometime, alright?”

Jisung didn’t respond. All he could focus on was the pounding of his heart and the lingering static on his skin.

-------

Chan was sitting on the couch watching a show Jisung didn’t recognize when Jisung finally made it back to the apartment.

“Oh hey,” Chan said. “I went back to Felix’s after dropping Jeongin off, but you had already gone.”

Jisung didn’t respond. He couldn’t focus on anything except the way Minho looked at him. The feeling of his hand grabbing his arm. The soft deepness of his voice when he spoke.

The entire world felt like it was spinning too fast around him.

Chan was standing now, moving toward Jisung who was still braced against the front door, stomach turning into knots.

“Hey mate, you okay? You don’t look too good.”

Jisung opened his mouth to tell Chan he was fine, nothing to worry about. Instead, he threw up right on the living room floor.

Chapter Text

Jisung’s head felt like it was about to explode.

He pulled the comforter over his face, trying to block out the bits of dim light shining through the bedroom window. Blood pounded behind his eyes, every movement too intense, every sound too loud. Even the faint sound of footsteps in the living room sounded like gunshots.

Memories of the night before started to slowly come back. Drinking and laughing with a group of strangers that felt more like friends, confronting Minho near the park fountain, the way his heart fluttered when they touched, throwing up on Chan’s floor.

Jisung groaned. Dread pooled deep in his stomach.

The door to his bedroom creaked open slowly. Jisung covered his ears with his hands to try and block out the sound. His mattress shifted as Chan took a seat near the edge of the bed.

“Hey,” he whispered softly. “I brought you some water.”

Jisung mumbled what he hoped sounded like a thank you and slowly sat up in bed. Chan handed him a cup and two white tablets, which he immediately popped into his mouth.

They sat like that for a moment, Chan watching and rubbing small circles into Jisung’s back. Finally, the medicine kicked in and took the edge of the hangover away.

“Sorry about last night,” Jisung finally managed to say.

“Don’t worry about it,” Chan said softly. “Already taken care of. How are you doing, though?”

Jisung didn’t know how to explain. He didn’t know how to tell Chan that for the first time in his life he didn’t feel like an outsider. He didn’t know how to explain where he went when he left Felix’s apartment or how he could still feel goosebumps on his arm where Minho’s hand touched him. He didn’t know how to put into words the way guilt and shame bubbled up in him for everything that happened that night.

So he didn’t. Instead, he tucked his knees to his chest and hid his face so Chan couldn’t see his eyes brimming with tears.

Chan didn’t push it. Instead, he patted Jisung on the back once more and stood up from the bed. “I’ll be around if you need anything, alright? Don’t hesitate to reach out.”

Jisung didn’t say a word. Once the door clicked shut again, he finally let himself cry.

--------

The air stung Jisung’s cheeks as soon as he stepped outside of his family’s home. It was the first cold day of the year, a promise that fall would soon be there. He took a deep breath and swung his guitar case over his shoulder.

His phone pinged in his pocket.

From: Father
Don’t forget. Interview at Kim & Park Law this afternoon. Don’t be late.

Jisung didn’t respond. Instead, he clicked on his navigation app and typed in the address he memorized weeks ago.

Another text came through.

From: My Baby <3
Good luck today! Can’t wait to see you.

Attached to the text was a photo. A face hidden playfully behind lyric sheets. The same lyric sheets that were currently shoved into the bottom of his bag.

Jisung smiled, the anxiety that had been building up in his chest slowly fading away. He stood up a little straighter and held his head high.

“No turning back,” he said to himself.

He looked at his GPS instructions one more time then began walking toward whatever lay in store next.

---------

Jisung was still in bed, cheeks stained with tears and a headache that just won’t seem to go away. His whole room was bathed in soft blues and purples of the twilight sky.

He played over that memory again and again in his mind, each time imagining a different outcome. The whole time holding on to the stuffed quokka that brought back so many bittersweet feelings.

He wondered what they were doing, everyone he left behind on Earth. Wondered if they ever forgave him for what he did. Wondered what kind of harsh words they would say if they saw him now, laughing and thinking too much about strangers who never knew him as he was.

“God, why am I such a fucking mess?” he whispered.

A breeze blew through the room from the cracked open window. The papers on his desk rustled around, a few even floating to the floor near the foot of Jisung’s bed. He didn’t want to look at them. Didn’t want to be reminded of any of it.

Despite protests from every muscle in his body, Jisung managed to pull himself out of bed. He moved over to grab the papers and throw them into the trash under his desk. It was just a bunch of scribbles, half-finished songs that he swore never to touch again.

He stopped when he picked up the first one and saw, written in a handwriting he knew better than his own, words he had never noticed before.

I love you, rockstar.

He tried to hold back the tears, he didn’t want to start crying again. But they started to fall anyway.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out while clutching the paper to his chest. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Jisung sobbed so loud he never even heard the footsteps walking away from outside his bedroom door.

Chapter Text

The world outside was quiet. It made the memories running through Jisung’s head that much louder.

He kept rereading the note. The crushing feeling in his chest told him he didn’t deserve those words, not after all he did. But still, he read it over and over, memorizing every pen stroke on every letter until it was permanently engraved into his mind.

Chan knocked on the door a few times that day, mostly to check if Jisung needed water, food or more medicine for his headache. Jisung ignored him every time. He knew if he let himself get too close to anyone here, he would just end up hurting them. He always did. It was best to just keep everyone and everything at a distance from that point on, he told himself.

Jisung rolled over in his bed. His eyes landed on the guitar in the corner, still partially hidden under his sweater crudely thrown over it just a few days ago. A new wave of memories flooded his mind.

-------

“Are you sure I’m doing this right?” Jisung asked.

They were standing in Minjun’s living room. The late evening sun covered the whole room in a warm, comforting light. The fireplace crackled ever so slightly as two mugs of warm apple cider sat forgotten on the coffee table. Jisung was holding a guitar awkwardly in front of him, fingers struggling to find their correct place.

Minjun smiled, his arms crossed across his broad chest. “Yes, now try to not look so scared of it. I promise it doesn’t bite.”

Jisung huffed and stuck out his tongue. “You said you’d teach me how to play, not make fun of me.”

The older boy laughed. “Okay, okay, sorry. Why don’t you play that last chord again?”

Jisung strummed the guitar strings. The sound still came out wrong and strained.

“This is no use,” Jisung whined. “I can’t do it and it’s killing my fingers.”

“Come on, don’t be like that,” Minjun said. “It just takes practice. Let me show you.”

He stepped behind Jisung and carefully helped guide his fingers into the right position. The space between them was buzzing. Jisung felt his ears turning pink the same moment Minjun’s breath brushed the base of his neck.

“There you go,” his voice was low and deep in Jisung’s ear. “Now try.”

Jisung played the chord one last time. This time, it sounded perfect.

--------

Jisung shoved the palms of his hands into his eyes, frantically trying to rub away the memory. As he did, another memory invaded the space.

The way Minho stared at him when he first fell in the fountain. How the streetlights shined against his handsome face. The feeling of his hand on Jisung’s arm, eyes wide. The expression on his face made Jisung feel like maybe, just maybe, Minho felt the electricity between them too.

It was too much. He wouldn’t let himself go through this again.

Jisung was going to get rid of it all. The sheet music, the guitar. Everything that reminded him of the life he left behind. He had to destroy it again, bury it so deep within himself that no one would ever be able to find it. Then he could work on finding his true purpose, away from his failures and burdens of his old life and everything he hated about himself.

He would give up Minho, too. It was the only way to make sure that version of himself never resurfaced again.

Something hit the glass of his bedroom window. Jisung's whole body went stiff. He did not move from his spot on the bed.

The sound came again, followed by a yell from the street down below.

“Jisung!”

Minho’s voice was loud and unmistakable. It made Jisung’s rebellious heart flutter, but he still refused to move, refused to look outside his window. It was for the best this way, he told himself over and over again.

Eventually, the yelling and rocks thrown against his window stopped. Jisung felt a confusing mix of relief and disappointment in his stomach.

From somewhere else in the apartment, Jisung heard a loud knock. He picked up on Chan’s muffled voice followed by footsteps heading into the living room.

Jisung could hear the muffled sounds of conversation. Eventually, the voices stopped. There was a quiet but firm knock on his bedroom door.

“Jisung,” it was Chan again. His voice was more authoritative this time than it had been ever since the two met. “I’m coming in.”

Jisung didn’t respond, just continued to cover his eyes with the palms of his hands and hoped the stains on his cheeks weren’t noticeable anymore.

Chan opened the door and walked just inside the threshold to the room.

“You had a visitor.”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone right now,” Jisung groaned.

Chan sighed. Jisung’s heart ached, but he knew pushing them away was the right call. He was getting ready to ask Chan to leave when Chan spoke first.

“I’m going to tell you a story, alright? You don’t have to say anything, but I need you to listen.”

Jisung paused and removed his hands from his eyes. He glanced over at Chan, waiting.

Chan took a deep breath. “Before I arrived in Nowhere, I was the kind of person who tended to shut other people out. I would go off and do my own thing and not really pay attention to how it affected others around me.

“One weekend, I was out hiking by myself. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. I did it all the time. I didn’t even tell my family or friends where I was going because I just wanted to be alone. But of course, that’s exactly when shit goes wrong isn’t it?”

Chan let out a bitter laugh. Jisung sat up in bed and listened closer.

“I slipped and fell down the side of a cliff. I was too hurt to pull myself back up and too far away for anyone from the trail to even see me. I don’t remember how long I stayed like that, but I do remember thinking ‘God, I wish I had told someone. I wish there was anyone who could help me.’

“When I woke up, I was here. I didn’t really understand where ‘here’ was, but I knew I had been given a second chance somehow. I spent a long time alone and wandering when I first got here. But eventually, the Nowhere brought Jeongin to me.”

Chan’s eyes were tearing up. Jisung didn’t dare say a word.

“I decided right then and there that I would help others in the way that I needed help during my last moments. Guide them toward finding their peace and purpose, because that would give me mine. I still remember the day I met every single one of the guys, and I am going to make sure each one of you get to where you need to be.”

A beat of silence.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Jisung said, voice barely audible.

“Because, Jisung,” Chan said, his tone serious and laced with authority. “That guy who was just here, Minho, is a lost soul just like you and me and everyone else here. Just from that brief conversation I had with him, I think you both could really use a friend like that right now.”

Chan left Jisung’s room, but the door stayed open just a crack. Jisung sat on his bed, thoughts and emotions waging war inside him. He was still thinking about his memories with Minjun back in his past life, still thinking about the guilt and shame that ate him up inside when he thought about the way Minho made him feel.

But deep down, he knew Chan was right. They couldn’t let Minho stay alone in this place.

Plus, if they find their destinies and Minho gets his second chance, Jisung wouldn’t have to worry about these feelings anymore.

Right?

Chapter Text

Jisung waited in the park, an iced strawberry matcha in each hand. It turned out that the little cafe he went to on his first day in Nowhere was still there, still unmanned but still able to make any drinks he wanted.

He didn’t know if Minho even liked matcha, but it seemed a safe enough bet.

What if Minho didn’t show up that day? Jisung didn’t know where else he would even be able to find him. He didn’t know where Minho went when he was not in the park or outside his bedroom window.

Jisung rocked back and forth on his heels. Chan’s words kept playing over and over in his mind.

“I think you both could really use a friend like that right now.”

Friends. He could be friends with Minho. Just friends.

As long as Minho didn’t look at him with that smirk again or touch him in ways that caused his entire body to feel electric. Jisung buried those thoughts as far down as they would go and focused on the deep oranges and purples in the sky.

Leaves crunched under someone’s feet behind him. Jisung turned quickly to look and saw the familiar silhouette of a man walking toward the fountain. He had seen the figure so much recently that he knew immediately it was Minho.

Minho was looking down at the sidewalk, concentrating on the fallen leaves. After each meticulous step, he paused and looked around before stomping on the driest, crunchiest leaf he could find. Jisung watched, gripping both matcha cups tight as the fluttering feeling returned to his chest.

Jisung coughed to try and get it to go away. Minho looked up from the ground and seemed to notice Jisung for the first time.

“Oh, hi Jisung,” Minho said, the corners of his lips curling up into a tiny smile.

Jisung swallowed hard and shoved one of the pink and green drinks in Minho’s direction.

“This is for you,” he said. “As my way of saying sorry.”

Minho nodded and went to grab the drink. His fingers brushed against Jisung’s.

Heat began to spread through Jisung’s body starting from the point where Minho’s fingers were still touching him. Jisung looked up and saw Minho looking directly at him. Minho’s eyes were shining like stars, even in the dimly lit corner of the park where they stood. There was something dangerous in the way he was looking at Jisung.

“Thank you,” Minho’s voice was soft as he spoke. “How did you know I love matcha?”

“I don’t know,” Jisung muttered, finally pulling his hand free, shoving it into his pocket. “Just lucky, I guess.”

“I guess I am.”

The tips of Jisung’s ears burned. He brought his own drink up to his mouth and took a large sip. Anything to distract him at that moment. Just friends, he reminded himself.

“I also wanted to come talk to you about something,” Jisung said. “Chan mentioned you stopped by yesterday.”

“Yes I wanted to skip rocks.”

“Yeah, that,” Jisung couldn’t even look at Minho when he spoke. “Um, anyway, I want to help you.”

“Help me?” Minho asked, tilting his head in a way that reminded Jisung of a curious kitten.

“I mean, yeah,” Jisung said, running his hand through his hair. “Chan said we are all here for one reason or another looking for something. I thought… maybe…”

Jisung’s voice trailed off. He took a deep breath to try and calm his pounding heart before finishing what he was trying to say. Minho just stared at him, taking slow sips of his strawberry matcha.

“Maybe you could use a friend to help find what you’re looking for?”

Jisung glanced at Minho, who was staring off into the distance, contemplating Jisung’s proposal.

“Do you know how to skip rocks?”

Jisung blinked, then slowly released the tension in his shoulders.

“I do,” he said. “Will you tell me why you want to learn how to skip rocks so badly?”

“It’s one of the things I always wanted to do, but never had the chance to before,” Minho said, his voice quiet and reflective in a way that Jisung hadn’t seen from him yet before.

“One of them? What are some of the others?”

“I have a whole list,” Minho said. “Been working on it for years before things finally caught up to me and I ended up here. Now, with all the time in the world, I am going to finally be able to do it all.”

Jisung watched Minho’s face light up as he spoke. It took Jisung too long to realize he had been smiling the whole time. He fixed his expression into something more neutral and begged the fluttering in his stomach to go away.

“I can probably help you with that.”

Minho looked at Jisung with a mischievous smirk on his face. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Sure, why not?” Jisung shrugged, ignoring the pounding in his chest under Minho's gaze. “That’s what friends do, right?”

Minho just laughed, shook his head and took another drink.

Jisung began looking around on the ground for rocks. Not the heavy and awkwardly shaped ones that Minho had been using before but rocks that would actually be able to skip across the water. He found the perfect rock right underneath a willow tree only a short walk away from the trail leading to the fountain.

A large grin spread across Jisung’s face. “Minho, look!” He couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice. “Here’s the perfect rock!”

Jisung walked over to Minho and placed the flat, triangular rock into the palm of his hand. Minho studied it carefully, fingers tracing the smooth edges and gliding over the small quartz veins zig zagging on its surface.

“Are you sure?”

“Just trust me, alright?” Jisung said. “Now come on, let’s go find some more.”

Minho and Jisung searched the entire park for as many good skipping rocks as they could find. Jisung told Minho what to look out for. They kept going until their drink cups were empty and they both had pockets overflowing with the potentially perfect skipping rock.

Jisung tried to show Minho how to hold the rock to make sure it would glide across the water properly. After a half dozen attempts with the same loud splashes, Jisung finally laughed and grabbed Minho’s hand.

“Here, like this.”

Minho smiled. Jisung smiled back, still chuckling. The air around them was sweet and comfortable in a way that Jisung had never known before.

Just friends, he reminded himself.

But friends can still act like this, right?

Minho’s brows were furrowed in deep concentration. Jisung let go and told him to try to skip the rock one last time. Minho let go of the rock…

It skipped across the water once, twice, three times before finally splashing into the fountain.

“You did it!” Jisung yelled, fist pumped into the air.

“I did it!” Minho laughed.

They continued to skip rocks along the water surface, pausing only to collect their rocks once their pockets were fully emptied. Jisung couldn’t even feel the coldness of the fountain water against his skin. All he felt was the warmth of Minho’s body next to him.

A breeze whistled through the trees in the park, carrying the sounds of the pair’s infectious laughter along with it.

Chapter Text

“So what’s the next thing on this list of yours,” Jisung asked.

Minho pulled a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket. It looked soft and crumpled, as if it had been folded and unfolded a countless number of times. Jisung watched as Minho searched the list for their next adventure.

Minho’s eyes twinkled when he finally looked up at Jisung. “I’ve always wanted to go to a house party.”

Jisung crinkled his nose. Parties weren’t really his thing, too many people and too many sounds for his liking.

But his mind drifted to how it felt to hang out with Chan and the other guys here in Nowhere. How it felt to be included, to be welcomed with open arms, to be given a place where he felt like he might be welcomed for being himself instead of who everyone thought he should be. He still didn’t know the guys that well other than Chan, but this was as good of a reason as any to get to know them even more.

“I think I can make that work.”

“Really?” Minho’s face broke into a wide grin. Jisung felt a soft warmth bloom in his chest.

He smiled back. “Yeah, why don’t you come by tomorrow?”

Minho nodded, replacing his excited grin with a slight smirk. “Okay, it’s a date then.”

Jisung stammered. “Oh no… I didn’t mean…”

Minho laughed and placed his hand on Jisung’s shoulder, causing the heat in Jisung’s chest to explode through the rest of his body. “I’m just messing with you Jisungie. See you tomorrow.”

Jisung watched Minho walk away with the slightest bounce in his step. He lifted a hand to place it on his shoulder, right where Minho had touched him. He took deep breaths, begging his heart to calm down.

“Fuck,” Jisung murmured to no one. “This is going to be harder than I thought.”

As he walked back toward the apartment to start preparing for the party, Jisung kept thinking about what exactly he got himself into.

-------

Everything was too much for Jisung. The music was too loud, the guests were too drunk, the stench of spilled alcohol and teenage hormones way too strong. All he wanted to do was go home, curl up under his favorite blanket and watch anime.

Minjun returned with a plastic cup in each hand. Jisung watched as he swaggered over to him, his eyes lingering a little too long on the outline of his abs through the black mesh shirt he wore.

“Here you go!” Minjun said, extending one of the cups in Jisung’s direction.

“What is it?” Jisung said, leaning in close so Minjun could hear over the deafening music.

“I don’t know, some kind of punch,” Minjun said, his voice so deep and close it almost drowned out the chaos around them. “Try it, it’s good.”

Jisung took the cup hesitantly. The liquid inside looked radioactive, not like any punch he had seen before. Small bits of fruit and ice floated around inside.

“I don’t know about this,” Jisung said. “Maybe I should just go home.”

“Oh come on, don’t be like that!” Minjun laughed, draping his arm across Jisung’s shoulders and pulling him in close. “We are celebrating! It’s not every day you graduate from high school.”

Jisung felt Minjun’s breath against his ear, felt the outline of his body pressed close. His face grew hot, but he wasn’t ready for it to end yet. Maybe, just for that night, he could let go and live a little. He looked at Minjun’s face and gave him a soft smile.

Minjun smiled back, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Drink up,” he shouted before downing his entire cup in one go.

Jisung followed suit, almost choking from the burning sensation of alcohol going down his throat.

“Now come on,” Minjun grabbed Jisung’s hand, pulling him toward the living room. “Dance with me.”

So he did. They danced together through three more cups full of the mysterious punch. Jisung’s head was dizzy with excitement and the feeling of Minjun being so close, the space between them practically nonexistent. His whole body buzzed with desire and too-loud music.

Eventually, they found themselves sitting on the curb in front of the house. The weather outside was finally starting to cool off, giving a small break from the early summer heat. Jisung was laughing at something Minjun said, though he couldn’t fully remember what they were talking about. Minjun had his head resting in Jisung’s lap, looking up at the younger boy with a playful smile.

“I like this version of you,” Minjun said once the giggling started to die down.

Jisung paused for just a moment, feeling the start of something shift between them. “What do you mean?”

“Raw, unfiltered and unbothered by your father’s expectations,” Minjun smiled, sitting up to be face-to-face with Jisung.

Jisung felt his heart pound in his throat. A small, unguarded smile spread across his face. “It feels nice to just get to be myself for once,” he admits.

“You can always be yourself around me,” Minjun said quietly, his voice spoken like a secret between the two of them. Their faces were only inches apart.

Jisung wasn’t sure whether it was the alcohol or the years of yearning that led to what happened next. Before he could talk himself out of it or let his father’s voice invade his mind to remind him how wrong it was, he leaned in and pressed his lips against Minjun’s.

Minjun hesitated for just a moment before he kissed him back. Jisung felt sparks fly between the two of them. Everything about it felt perfect.

He wished that moment never had to end.

-------

Jisung was way in over his head.

He had never thrown a party before. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect. He was working on getting all the drinks together, lining up the cans of soda, water and alcohol on the dining table.

“When will everyone be over again?”

“Soon,” Chan called from the kitchen. He jumped at the idea of inviting everyone over and immediately began working on food for the party. “Felix said he is bringing some more sweets.”

Jisung nodded, biting the inside of his cheek until he tasted metal. Music played from the living room speakers, though not nearly loud enough to shake the entire apartment. He hoped it would be okay for everyone. He hoped Minho would like it.

There was a knock on the door, Jisung almost knocked over all the cans he had so meticulously placed.

“I’ll get it,” he shouted to Chan. Jisung practically ran to the front door, his heart pounding in his chest.

Seungmin, Changbin and Jeongin were the first to arrive. Changbin greeted him with a loud yell and a hug that almost swallowed Jisung entirely. Seungmin entered with little more than a friendly nod. Jeongin was carrying a karaoke machine and microphones, a dimpled smile spread across his cheeks.

“Hi Jisung!” Jeongin said. “Chan told me to bring this over. Maybe we can all play together?”

Jisung smiled. “Yeah, sounds fun. Want to go set it up in the living room?”

“You got it!” Jeongin said, beelining straight for the television. Jisung watched him nearly trip over his own feet, but luckily he caught himself before the machine fell to the ground.

The apartment became more alive. Changbin kept trying to get Seungmin to arm wrestle, but Seungmin was too busy pestering Chan while he cooked. Music still played while Jeongin tried to figure out how to hook up the machine. Jisung drummed his fingers against his leg, hovering anxiously near the door.

Hyunjin and Felix were the next to arrive. Felix was carrying a container full of brownies, banana bread and cookies. The sweet sugary aroma was enough to make Jisung’s mouth water.

“Hey mate, glad to see you again!” Felix beamed, wrapping his free arm around Jisung. “The party is going to be great.”

“You really think so?” Jisung said, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

“Of course! We are going to have so much fun.”

Jisung smiled and directed Felix to where he could drop off the goodies. Hyunjin was already at the drinks table, cracking open a can of beer and firmly planting himself on the couch. Everyone was here, ready for the real party to start.

Everyone except Minho.

Jisung stood there, staring at the front door. While everyone else moved around him, laughing and joking with each other, he couldn’t bring himself to join them. Not yet.

Chan walked up to Jisung holding two cans of beer. “He will show up.”

“How do you know?” Jisung asked, still staring at the door.

“Because,” Chan said, placing one of the unopened cans into Jisung’s hand. “He doesn’t seem like the type of person to stand people up. He’s probably on his way over right now.”

At that moment, someone knocked on the door. Chan smirked and nudged Jisung with his shoulder. “See? Told you.”

Jisung nodded and reached a trembling hand for the front door. Sure enough, Minho was standing there when he opened it.

The sight took Jisung’s breath away.

Minho was wearing black skinny jeans and a black short-sleeved shirt with a silver zipper running down the front. His hair was parted directly down the middle, framing his face in a way that made him look like a movie star. Jisung didn’t even realize he was staring until Minho smirked.

“What’s wrong?” Minho teased. “I have to get dressed for the occasion, don’t I?”

Jisung shook his head, trying to bring himself back to reality. “Oh, yeah, no you look great,” he fumbled over each word. “Want to come in?”

Jisung stepped to the side, allowing Minho to walk past the threshold into the apartment. He could not get his eyes off how great Minho’s biceps looked in that shirt.

Chan walked up to the two of them with a warm smile and the other drink he had been holding.

“Hey mate,” he said, extending the drink to Minho. Minho took it and smiled back at Jisung. “Everyone! This is Jisung’s friend Minho!”

A chorus of cheers and greetings from around the room. Jisung felt his ears turning hot, so he quickly cracked open his drink and took a long sip. He knew he should have been the one to introduce Minho instead of Chan.

“You picked the perfect time to show up, Minho,” Hyunjin shouted from his spot on the couch. He was currently sprawled across Changbin’s lap. “Jeongin finally got the karaoke machine set up. Now the real fun can begin!”

Minho looked at Jisung with an eyebrow raised. “Karaoke?”

Jisung cleared his throat. Suddenly, the inside of his can was extremely interesting. “If you want to do something else, we can. This is your party, after all.”

Minho let out a small chuckle and nudged Jisung with his shoulder. “I am just messing with you. Karaoke sounds like a lot of fun.”

Jisung sighed with relief and gave what he hoped was a confident smile to the group. “Alright, who wants to go first?”

Everyone besides Jisung took turns with the karaoke machine, singing their hearts out and dancing along to the music. Every surface of the apartment was covered in half-finished drinks and empty plates of food. Jisung was surprised at how good Seungmin was at singing. He found himself wiping tears away on more than one occasion.

“Hey Jisung,” Minho called from the makeshift stage they had created in front of the television. “Come sing with me.”

Jisung hesitated for just a moment before nodding. He grabbed the microphone from Minho with a smile and trembling hand.

The song started. Jisung recognized it immediately, he loved DAY6.

Immediately, Minho and Jisung’s voices melded together in harmony. Jisung let go of the hesitation he had been feeling and allowed himself to just feel the music the way he knew best. As the song continued, the world around them seemed to melt away. All that mattered was Jisung, Minho and the music.

“Baby love me or leave me tonight,” they sang.

The song finally ended, the rest of the room coming back into focus. Jisung finally realized everyone had been staring at them, at him. He was ready to shrink away and hide when suddenly, Chan started cheering.

“That freaking rocked!” he yelled.

“Damn Jisung,” Changbin said. “Never would have guessed you could sing like that. Why have you been hiding it away all night?”

Jisung blushed and looked at Minho, who just stared back at him with a twinkle in his eye.

“I don’t really sing anymore,” Jisung finally said.

“Well you should!” Felix shouted. He had one arm wrapped around Jeongin’s shoulders. “Watching the two of you together was truly magical.”

Warmth bloomed in Jisung’s chest, followed by the familiar knot of anxiety. Minho placed an arm around Jisung’s shoulder, which only made his heart race even more.

“We can’t have all the fun, right?” Minho laughed. “Who’s next?”

They handed the microphones off to Chan and Hyunjin. Jisung decided to sit down at the table. To his horror, Minho took the seat right next to him. Their knees touched and sent shockwaves of electricity through Jisung’s body.

“Thank you,” Minho said, quiet enough for only Jisung to hear.

“For what?”

“All of this,” he threw his arms wide. “The party, the song, even just teaching me to throw the rocks. You really don’t know how special it is to be able to finally do something like this.”

Jisung blushed. “It really wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“It is for me.”

Jisung looked up. Minho was looking right at him. He felt like his heart was going to break free from his chest.

“Oh fuck!”

Jeongin’s scream shattered the moment between Jisung and Minho. The two turned immediately to see what was wrong.

The karaoke machine was on the floor by Jeongin’s feet, the television now showing static where the songs used to be.

“I’m so sorry guys,” Jeongin said, trying to get the machine to work again.

“It’s okay Innie,” Chan said, bending down to try and help. “Accidents happen. Not like you meant to knock it over.”

“Now what are we going to do?” Hyunjin whined.

“We could always just turn on regular music,” Seungmin suggested.

“Yeah…” Changbin grumbled. “Not as fun though.”

Chan glanced over to where Jisung and Minho sat at the table and smiled. Jisung’s heart sank.

“Jisung! You play guitar, right?” Chan asked. “You have that one in your room. Let me go grab it and maybe you can play some songs!”

“Wait, hold on-” Jisung started to say, but Chan was already sprinting down the hall. He came back out with the guitar in his hands.

The rest of the group cheered. Jisung couldn’t hear it, couldn’t see any of them. The only thing he could see was the guitar, his guitar, in Chan’s hands.

He wanted to grab it. He wanted to throw it out the window. He wanted to run to his room and hide. But instead, he forced a tight-lipped smile and stood up on wobbly legs.

If Jisung would have looked, he would have seen the concern across Minho’s face. He would have seen the way Minho started to reach his hand out to grab Jisung’s arm and ask what was wrong. He would have seen Minho hesitate before placing his hands back on the table. But Jisung didn’t look, so he never saw.

Instead, he began walking toward Chan.

“Here you go,” Chan said, giving a reassuring smile. “If your guitar playing is half as good as your singing then we are in for a treat!”

Jisung nodded but didn’t look up. He took the guitar, slinging the strap around his shoulders, a motion he knew all too well. The other guys were cheering, chanting his name like he was famous. It almost felt like some kind of sick joke.

He sat on the edge of the couch, his guitar-Minjun’s guitar-resting perfectly in his lap. His fingers dragged along the bright red body before stopping at the small little heart etched into the side.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Chan encouraged.

Jisung looked up, locked eyes with Chan, and gave him a reluctant smile.

He could do this, right? It was just one song.

He positioned his fingers to play a simple cord. Once he got started, he was sure it would be easier. He got through singing after all, didn’t he?

Jisung took a shaky breath. Just one note. That’s all it took.

But the note never came.

Instead, his hand shook so much he dropped the guitar pick on the ground.

Everyone just stared at him. Jisung’s heart began beating faster and faster until he was certain he was going to have a heart attack. Breaths started coming faster and shallower. He had to get out of there, now.

“I’m-I’m sorry,” he managed to say before jumping off the couch and sprinting to his room.

Once safely hidden behind the door of his bedroom, Jisung allowed himself to cry. His whole body shook with sobs as he clutched the guitar to his chest. The guitar’s neck rested softly against his cheek, the cold metal bringing with it a comfort he did not deserve.

He cried every tear that he had to give. He didn’t know how long it had been, but he could hear music playing from the living room, quieter than it had been even when the party started. There was less laughter than before.

Shit, he thought. This was supposed to be fun for Minho and here I go, messing everything up.

His body was exhausted. He wanted to go back out and pretend nothing happened, he wanted to hide under the covers, he wanted to wake up and have everything that’s happened since arriving in Nowhere to be just one long fever dream.

A barely-there knock sounded on his bedroom door. Jisung sighed, wondering who would even bother to check on him after the scene he made.

“Come in,” he said reluctantly.

The door opened slowly.

“Oh,” Jisung said, sitting up straighter and quickly trying to wipe the remnants of tears from his cheeks. “It’s you.”