Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1
“Here’s some honesty for you. I saw you and Alex at Richard’s. You know I was giving you space like you asked but I thought we had something so I’ve been racking my brain trying to understand why you’d be with my brother, again.” Cole exclaims. The honesty makes Jackie turn back around.
“We said that we were going to be friends”
“We’ve never just been friends” Cole interrupts her wondering if she really hasn’t seen this all along.
“Cole this is not… me and Alex we’re…” Jackie tries to explain but even she can feel her resolve weakening.
“Why.. why is it you can’t stay away from him but you can stay away from me?” Cole says clearly hurting.
Does he really not see it? Could he really not see the fact that I had to tried to shut him out and just couldn’t. “I can’t… stay away from you, okay? I keep trying to and nothing works. And I can’t have that Cole I can’t be with someone that makes me feel the way you make me feel”
“How do I make you feel”
“Stop it” Jackie interrupts. She knows she can’t give into this. She can’t do that to Alex again.
“I love you Jackie. And I thought you felt the same way but if I’m wrong then just just say it”
“I love you. Ok. Are we done? Can I go now?” Jackie reveals.
“why would being with me be so awful? What is it?” The hurt is written clear across his face.
“When we kissed before it was the only time I’ve ever stopped thinking about everything. How I’m doing in school, if I fit in here, what my future will look like. I felt really… free. Like I was out of control and… and I can’t have that, Cole. I can’t I can’t lose control.” Jackie says while slowly stepping forward towards Cole.
“Why?”
“Because… I don’t know what might happen if I do”
Cole reaches up to rest his hand on Jackie’s cheek. She sighs slightly, leans into his hand and shuts her eyes. Cole continues to get closer looking at her lips.
“You love him?” Alex questions from the porch. Both Jackie and Cole pull away before their lips could touch at turn to face Alex. Before they could say anything an ambulance pulled up with lights flashing and Will saying something is wrong with Dad.

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Chapter 2
Everything is a blur of trying to get into contact with Katherine, figuring out who is going to stay home with the younger kids and who can go to the hospital with George. Jackie volunteers to stay home. She figures since she isn’t technically related to George and has no interest in spending time in a hospital anyways.
Will decides he is going to go to the hospital with George and the rest of us will stay home. Will promises to keep us updated and jumps in the ambulance just before it rushes off.
All the kids are sitting in the living room exactly as they were before Cole and Jackie walked out but this time it’s completely silent. Most are just staring at their hands in their lap thinking about George, hoping he is ok, wondering if there is any way to break the awkward silence that is deafening.
Suddenly Alex abruptly stands up and goes upstairs. Nobody moves, but Danny catches the way Cole and Jackie make brief eye contact before both their eyes wonder to the stairs and then back to their laps.
Danny looks to Jordan, Benny, and Parker each looking concerned but quickly looking more and more tired. “Ok it’s getting late Jordan, Benny, Parker it’s time to go up to bed” before they could interrupt he continues “we will wake you up if we get any updates I promise you won’t miss a thing while you are asleep”
Danny follows the three youngers upstairs giving a quick glance to Isaac, Lee, and Nathan that Jackie couldn’t read. The remaining Walter’s and Jackie remain in the silence of the living room that feels less suffocating this time not that Jackie is paying much attention. She is stuck in a loop of thoughts that bring her back to the days between finding out about her family and their funeral. Jackie has been so trapped in her thoughts she doesn’t notice when Nathan, Isaac, and Lee made their way out of the living room until she feels a blanket being draped over her and a comfortingly heavy hand on her shoulder.
Jackie looks up slowly to see Cole’s sympathetic face and realizes they are the only two left in the living room. Cole sees the fog clear from her eyes that had been concerning him for the last hour or so as she reaches up to his hand still on her shoulder and glances to the spot on the couch next to her. Cole gets the hint and sits down just far enough that there isn’t contact but close enough she can feel his presence next to her. If Jackie could find the words she would probably make a joke about Cole never being quiet this long or if he suddenly developed the ability to read minds. But instead she sat there feeling a comforting relief from the weight she didn’t realize had been internally crushing her since the ambulance pulled away with George earlier.

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Cole wasn’t sure what had been filling his thoughts but he suddenly was pulled out of them by a weight on his shoulder. Jackie hasn’t spoken since everyone came back inside almost four hours ago now. He can feel the uneven rise and fall of her chest against his side accompanied by her exhales through his t shirt. He recognizes she is likely not asleep but looks down gently to see if her eyes are closed or if she looks like she wants to talk. He sees her eyes closed so he remains quiet and slowly readjusts his position so her head isn’t at such an angle and his arm drapes across her shoulders in what he hopes is a grounding presence. He shoots off a quick message to will asking for an update about his dad. Will responds immediately saying he is out of surgery and stable, but not awake yet. Cole guesses that is to be expected after a heart attack. He sends a message to Danny “are still awake? and if you are can you tell the other older boys that dad is stable and out of surgery but not awake. And please don’t wake up the littles if they are asleep already.” Danny immediately replies “they are going to hate that you called them the littles but I will let everyone know. Where are you?” Cole looks down at Jackie to make sure she’s still ok. He hadn’t noticed that her breathing had evened out and her face relaxed or that in the time he was texting his brothers she had turned more into his side. He smiled down at her before responding to Danny “Jackie hadn’t moved or spoken since dad was taken to the hospital. It’s like she didn’t even know we were here so I put a blanket over her and went to come upstairs but she grabbed my hand and just looked at the spot on the couch next to her so I’ve been sitting there since. I think she just fell asleep so I’ll probably be here for a while I don’t want to wake her up” Danny’s response came in a minute or two later “I updated everyone up here, the littles weren’t asleep yet but are going to sleep now. I’ll keep my phone on for updates. Night Cole” “night bro”
Cole puts his phone down and is left thinking about how Danny didn’t even react when he told him about Jackie sleeping on him or how worried he was about her. Maybe his twin just didn’t clock it or maybe Danny had been more observant than anyone ever gave him credit for and had already sensed what had been going on since before Jackie left to go back to New York.
In an effort to entertain himself until the next update from will without waking up Jackie Cole pulls out his headphones that luckily he had tucked in his pocket opposite the side Jackie is on and pops them in to watch anything to pass the time. A couple short episodes in he gets a text from will “dad is awake, mom is staying with him. I’m heading back to the house and we can all go visit him in the morning” immediate relief washes over him as he copies the message to Danny and looks down to Jackie still asleep even more tucked into his side. He sends a quick response back to will “great to hear. I let Danny know. Come in quietly Jackie is asleep in the living room I may or may not be asleep when you get here. Good night”
By the time will had called Hailey let her know what was going on and drove back to the farm house he was greeted by the sight of Jackie and Cole both fast asleep sitting on the couch. Jackie resting her head against Cole’s shoulder turned towards him as if she is trying to make herself small against him and the arm of the couch or trying to seek comfort even while effectively unconscious. Cole is sitting up more with his left arm around Jackie’s shoulders and his right resting on top of Jackie’s arm that is draped across Cole’s torso gently but he can see her hand holding Cole’s t shirt tight even in her sleep.
Without thinking about it will snaps a picture, turns off the light in the living room, and walks down the hall to the room he has still claimed as his own when he is home at the farm house. He briefly wonders what the reaction of the rest of the house is going to be in the morning if Alex sees them on the couch but decides that’s not his battle today and drifts off to sleep himself.

Chapter Text

Cole doesn’t remember falling asleep but he’s pretty sure it must have been before will got home because he doesn’t remember him coming in and when he opens his eyes the only light is from the sun rising through the curtains as opposed to the overhead light he never turned off last night.

A few minutes later he hears footsteps coming from down the hall and looks up to see Wills face with a soft expression that Cole cannot read this early in the morning. Cole looks down to see Jackie is still sleeping and motions to will to be quiet. Will gives a quick nod and sits down next to Cole on the side not occupied by a sleepy brunette. “How long has she been out?” Will asks

Cole grabs his phone from where it was laying on his stomach while he slept and sees that it says 6:08am he sighs and responds “about 6 hours” will nods and begins to quietly tell Cole what happened at the hospital. He ends up having to retell the story a few times as the Walter kids slowly fill the living room each looking quickly over to Jackie still sleeping on Cole’s shoulder and then moving to sit close to will to hear about their dads condition. By 8am nearly all of the Walter kids have made their way into the living room.

Cole is genuinely shocked at how Jackie is still asleep as he makes a mental note to ask if she is sleeping at night normally when the room falls silent. Cole looks up to see Alex standing in the doorway eyes locked on Jackie and Cole on the couch quickly bouncing between where he head rests on his shoulder, where Cole’s arm drapes over her shoulders, and where Jackie’s arm stretches across his torso still holding onto his t shirt. Then his eyes lock on Cole’s face with a fire behind them as he steps into the room and says louder than anyone had spoken since the night before “are you fucking serious cole?”

The sudden noise causes Jackie to stir although it is unclear if she is awake as she tightens her grip on Cole’s torso and buries her face into where Cole’s neck meets his shoulder briefly then relaxed again. Cole didn’t realize he had froze until Alex’s voice cuts through the silence again “should I even be surprised at this point? First Paige, then Jackie, and now Jackie again and while dad is in the hospital? God how could you be so heartless?” The comment stings to hear and is blatantly not true but Cole doesn’t have the time to explain any of that because Jackie is waking up beside him. Stretching her hand that had been gripping Cole’s shirt for the last eight hours, stretching her arms and rolling her shoulders that must have been aching despite Cole’s attempt to make himself into a comfortable pillow. Jackie rubs her eyes and looks up at Cole with a soft expression on her face. She then looks around to see everyone sitting in the living room staring at her. With a groggy voice she looks at will and asks if George is ok. Will begins to tell her he will be fine when Alex interrupts again and says “so you tell my brother you love him last night and now you are sleeping with him? That’s a bit fast for someone with a boyfriend don’t you think?” Jackie’s mind was moving slow so Alex’s reaction confused her. Nothing happened with Cole last night she had just fallen asleep on him and she guesses he fell asleep at some point too.

Before she could respond Cole spoke up “not the time Alex and don’t speak to her like that” Alex looked surprised by that reaction from Cole and looked at Jackie for her reaction. She didn’t give him one as she looked between Cole and Alex then to will to ask if George was ok. Will retold the story and told her about how they were going to go see him this morning and invited her to come with them. Jackie’s facial expression turned foggy and apologetic as she said “I think it’s better if I stay here give you all more time with him. I can clean the house or something while you all are gone.”

After that Jackie stands up and walks past Alex still in the door walks upstairs to her room closes the curtains and curls up back in bed. While her head is at a more comfortable angle this time she can’t help but notice the lack of warmth from the space heater that is Cole Walter. She turns her back to the door so if someone opens it she has time to close her eyes and pretend she is asleep before they can see her face but no one comes up for quite a while.

Chapter Text

Jackie wakes up to the gentle clinking of dishes being washed downstairs. It takes a moment for her to orient herself, she wasn’t planning to fall back asleep after going upstairs. Jackie makes her way downstairs passing Danny coming up the stairs. He stops Jackie to say “hey everyone else went to the hospital to visit dad. It’s just you and me here”
Jackie had a confused look on her face before Danny continued “we know you don’t need a babysitter I’ll go later this afternoon you just seemed rattled last night so we didn’t want to leave you here alone” he didn’t elaborate on who “we” was but Jackie was hoping it hadn’t been a full family discussion.
Jackie makes her way into the kitchen to find that Danny left some breakfast out for her.
After eating and cleaning up the rest of the dishes Jackie begins puttering around completing her chores as well as what she could of the other Walter kids chores to keep her mind off of things. While cleaning in the living room she finds her phone that she hadn’t realized she didn’t have. On the Lock Screen there was one text from Cole

10:32 am. Colorado: we are at the hospital. George is still doing well.

Jackie pockets her phone and goes back to chores after making a note that she is going to have to talk to Alex but that will have to wait until after George comes home.

After about two hours Danny pokes his head into the door way of the room Jackie is tidying up. “Everyone is on their way home from the hospital” Jackie looks up and quietly nods as she finishes tidying up.
In an effort to not run into anyone she makes her way back to her room before everyone can get home. She should have known that wasn’t going to work though. She hears the gentle knock and Katherine announcing herself as she opens the door.
“Hi honey”
“Hi Katherine. How are you doing, how is George”
“He will be ok dear the doctors say he can probably come home in 2-3 days. And as for me I’m just tired I came home to sleep and bring the kids home.” “Don’t lock yourself away too long. you’re welcome to come to the hospital with us later if you want” Katherine adds as she leaves Jackie’s room.

It takes a moment after her door closes but Jackie turns back to her school work sitting out on her desk but even she has to admit she can’t seem to focus on anything. After a some time of trying to focus Jackie hears the door to her bedroom open and close and the squeak of her bed giving under the weight of someone sitting on her bed.

Jackie turns around to see Cole sitting on her bed looking at her with a soft expression.
“Hey New York”
Jackie exhales a laugh “hi Colorado”
“This house is suffocating I need to get out of here. You in?”
“Are you sure that’s such a good idea? Given everything?”
Cole gives a look before replying “are you worried about Alex?”
Jackie responds with a look that clearly says obviously
“Don’t worry about him.” Cole goes to stand up “I’m going. Are you coming?”

Jackie takes a moment to consider but by the time Cole is just outside the door she is following him downstairs. Once they get downstairs Cole yells over his shoulder “we are going out be back later” and the door closes before Jackie can hear a response.

Chapter Text

They aren’t driving for long when Cole pulls over and Jackie recognizes the stretch of river as the same place he brought her when the boys filled her shampoo with bleach. Similar to last time, without Jackie having to say anything Cole removes his jacket and places it on the rock for Jackie to sit on.
There is a peaceful quiet for a while and Jackie can’t help but notice Cole has been noticeably gentler since last night and Jackie can’t for the life of her figure out if it is because she told him she loves him or if it is because of her reaction to George going to the hospital or maybe some mystery third option.

“You are acting different today” it’s not a question, it is a statement.
“Bad different?” Cole questions still looking out at the river
“No. But why?”
Cole smiles and looks at her out of the corner of his eye “well you see. This absolutely incredible girl told me she loves me last night and then she slept tucked into my side all night”
Jackie smiles “lucky you”
“Mmm I am” Cole agrees. “It’s kind of complicated though”, he continues, “because I think she was with my little brother and I don’t want to hurt him again but I just can’t get her out of my head so I can’t find it in myself to care at the moment”
There is a beat of silence before Jackie says “I meant what I said last night but I have to talk to Alex before anything further happens. I’m sorry” she sounds disappointed as she is saying it. Like the technicality is holding her back from what she wants.

“Ok. But just so we are clear if that wasn’t the case I would be kissing you right now”
Jackie blushes and ducks her head at that but does not respond.

When she looks back up Cole’s eyes are focused back on the river and that slightly electric tension that leaves jackie feeling out of control is back only this time they find comfort in that tension instead of trying to push it away.

After a little while of sitting in a comforting silence Cole breaks the silence again. “Do you want to talk about what happened last night”
Jackie doesn’t have a clue what he means it feels like a lot has happened in the last 24 hours so she can’t narrow down what he is referring to “which part?”
“The part where you were spaced out for nearly four hours before finally just falling asleep?” Cole replies like it’s obvious that that would be what he is referring to.
“Oh” Jackie replies quieter this time. There is a brief pause before she continues “I guess it just reminded me of last year when I found out about my family.” Cole hums in understanding. He had assumed it was something along those lines. “I guess it just kind of brought me right back. I hadn’t realized everyone else had left until I felt your hand on my shoulder. I’m sorry if I put you in a weird position, I just didn’t want to be alone”
Cole leans back so he is sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him and is leaning against his hands. “You didn’t. I’m glad I could be there for you” he assures her.
Jackie leans back against his arm and rests her head against his shoulder again Cole looks down and gives a soft smile.

“FYI I don’t like pda” Jackie says out of nowhere
“You’re the one that leaned into me New York I haven’t moved”
“That’s not what I meant. We don’t have an audience. I like this”
Cole thinks for a moment “are you embarrassed of me? Because if I remember right there was plenty of pda going on before the summer” Cole jokes but there is a vulnerable edge to his voice.
“What?! No. No. Not at all.” Jackie quickly lifts her head in surprise. “It just makes me feel like an object to be claimed and displayed it’s weird. It’s not that I want it to be a secret, I just like it to be private” Jackie replaces her head on Cole’s shoulder.
“I like that. But I have to ask… did my brother force you into anything you weren’t comfortable with? Because if he did I’ll kill him”
“No nothing like that. I just didn’t know how to say it was too much. So I’m putting it out there right now”
“Sounds good New York”

After some more time of comforting silence Cole’s phone vibrated with a message that the family was going to go back to the hospital soon and for them to go home so they stood up and made their way back to the car for the short drive back to the farm house.

Chapter Text

The next day passed much like the previous day. With most of the Walter family spending most of the day at the hospital with George. Jackie continues trying to pay attention to her classwork while the house is empty.

Monday morning comes and everyone piles into the car with a more quiet energy than normal. Once arriving at school everyone goes their separate ways for their first class. When Jackie arrives at her locker Grace and are already waiting for her. They are talking idly about their weekend. Jackie listens and adds appropriate hums of agreement but otherwise does not add anything about her weekend. Grace and Skylar make eye contact behind Jackie’s shoulder but neither is able to quite work out what is going on with their friend.

It isn’t until lunch when Grace being her slightly nosy self can’t help but notice the way the older Walter boy keeps looking over to Jackie and finally says something. “Ok so maybe I’m hallucinating but why is it that Cole Walter has been watching you this entire day?”

Jackie can’t say she had noticed that but she also can’t say she has noticed much of what is going on around her today it all feels a bit like a blur. In a completely callous and matter of fact way she replies “probably because I told him I love him and then George had a heart attack. Oh but don’t worry though because George is going to be ok but Alex did hear and we haven’t talked about that yet.”

Of all the things that Jackie could have said there that was not something either of her friends could have expected. They have come to expect a minor level of Walter boy drama but this went beyond that.

Skylar butts in here “I’m sorry what”
Jackie finally looks up “to which part?”
Grace replies with “Cole” at the same time Skylar always less about the drama replies “Mr Walter”
Jackie looks to Skylar and says “George was out in the fields while we were all in the house and had collapsed. We didn’t know until Will went looking for him and came back with George in an abundance. He has been in the hospital since Friday but I think the doctor said he can come home tomorrow”

Jackie then looks over to Grace and says “it was a heat of the moment thing. I don’t know. He had been acting weird and closed off to me for days not telling me things he normally would. He told me about seeing me and Alex kissing at my uncle Richard’s. He told me he was giving me space like I wanted him to when I got back and he asked how come I can’t stay away from Alex but I can stay away from him”

Grace was on the edge of her seat. “Ok and then…”
Jackie continues “and then I told him I can’t lose control. And he said he loves me but if I don’t feel the same I need to tell him. So I told him I love him” Jackie says this in a very matter of fact way.

Grace swears the entire cafeteria got quiet “Wait…” grace pauses, “were you just saying it back or do you mean it?”

This makes Jackie stop “Of course I meant it” she says plainly.
Skylar now invested “ok so now what?”
“Nothing.” Jackie says plainly “not until I talk to Alex. I am doing it right this time.”
Skylar nods at this. But Grace is confused “ok so that happened Friday why haven’t you talked to Alex?”
“Well his dad is in the hospital and he won’t stay in the same room as me for more than a few minutes”

At that someone walks up to the table. Jackie will admit she anticipated it being Cole but when grace and Skylar fell awkwardly silent next to her she looked up to see Alex standing there with an icy look on his face.

“Jackie can we talk?”
“Uhh ya sure hang on” Jackie quickly looks to Grace as she quickly packs up her belongings. She gets up to follow Alex out of the lunch room making brief eye contact with Cole from across the room and shrugs as he gives a confused look.

Alex leads Jackie outside to the picnic tables and turns around abruptly. “You love my brother?”
Jackie blushes slightly “yes” she takes a deep breath “I’m sorry. I tried really hard not to because I mean duh.” She says while gesturing between them communicating that he was the reason she tried to not love the blonde. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but we understand each other”
“..ok” Alex responds like he doesn’t really know what to say to that.
“Can I just ask you… you said you always knew something was between me and Cole. did you actually love me? Or did you just want to prove you could have me instead of him to get back at him for Paige?”

Alex looks taken aback by that statement like he hadn’t been expecting this type of reaction from Jackie. “What do you mean?” He questions with a new sharpness to his voice not angry but Jackie can hear the emotion under the words.

“Well you were always very touchy when either of them were around like you were showing it off. And I’m not something to just be shown off. I’m also not a way to make your brother jealous”
There is a moment of understanding in his facial expression. “I’m sorry”

There is another gap and Jackie waits for him to continue. “I don’t think I knew I was doing that.” There was a finality to the words causing both to understand whatever had restarted between them was over if it had ever really started again. Jackie walks away pulling her phone out to text Grace that she’s fine and she will see her after lunch. Then she opened her texts with Cole.

12:16pm New York: can you come unlock the car. Everything is fine
Colorado: ya coming

Chapter Text

After shooting off a quick response to Jackie Grace looks up to see Cole leaving his table and walking out of the cafeteria.

When Cole gets within eye site of the shared car he sees Jackie leaned against the front passenger door and clicks the unlock button on his keys.

Jackie hears the click of the door behind her and looks up from the spot on the parking stall line she had been inspecting. She gives Cole an appreciative expression. He begins to slow unsure if she wants company or if she merely wanted a quiet place to sit. She noticed his pace slow and nods her head to the driver seat next to her.

Cole reaches the car and dumps his bag in the back seat before sliding into the driver seat beside her. “Hey” he says breaking the silence quickly.

Jackie lets out a breath “hi. Can I ask you a question?”
“Always” Cole is quick to respond.
“He said he always knew there was something between us” cole waits for the question. Jackie lets out another breath. “I feel like an idiot…” Cole interrupts her to say “you couldn’t be an idiot if you tried”
Jackie smiles slightly at that “did you know he was doing it to get back at you for Paige”

Cole would like to think that he is moving past his fighting phase but he won’t lie about the fact that his fists tighten where they are in his lap briefly. “He what?”
“I told him it felt like he was trying to show it off in front of you… he said he might have been doing that”
“Jackie I’m so sorry…” Jackie interrupts him and continues “so now I’m like did any of it even matter? Do I care? I don’t know.”

It’s quiet for a moment before Cole gently says “what do you want to do now Jackie? You know what I want but I won’t pressure you into anything”
Jackie lets out what could be considered a single syllable of a laugh under her breath at the difference still wondering how she didn’t see this last year. “You love me” it wasn’t a question but Cole responds “yes”. “Even after I kissed and ran last year” another “yes” from Cole. “And I love you even though I tried to fight it”
“Well I am irresistible” Cole says cheekily.
“Damn Cole effect” Jackie says under her breath at a volume she thought would be inaudible.
“The what?!” He laughs in a confused and shocked way.
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it” Jackie quickly says to try to shut him down.
“Ok sure but we are going to be coming back to that later.” Cole says in a soft way. “Back to be being irresistible then” his cheeky tone of voice has returned.
“I’m pretty sure I never said that. You understand me in a way I don’t think anyone has”
Cole smiles to himself. “And I want to be with you”
“You do?” Cole’s normal self confidence must have wavered for a brief moment at her confession.
Jackie looks over at him “ya I do. I’m comfortable with you, I trust you, you make me happy, and I’m so sick of fighting against my emotions” she says and her body slumps as if she has released a weight.
“You mean it?”
“Ya I do”
“Jackie” Cole says plainly. That catches her attention and she turns her body to look him more directly. “Can I please kiss you” Jackie just nods simply with a rosy blush showing on her cheeks. Cole reaches across the middle console to gently guide her face towards him.

He goes to rest his forehead against hers as his right hand rests on her cheek until Jackie can’t wait any longer and pushes forward to join their lips. The addictively warm tingling feeling in her stomach that she remembers from their kiss last spring returns immediately as they both sink into the kiss. Jackie has to pull back to catch her breath and Cole’s hand slides gently to the nape of her neck not wanting to let her get too far, but gentle enough that she could pull away entirely if she wanted. She doesn’t.

Jackie’s hand reaches up to grab his right bicep to keep him close as well. Jackie smiles as they both lean back in with more confidence this time. Before Jackie can become completely light headed she pulls away again and Cole makes a small noise in protest.
“Cole” Jackie lets out a small laugh “we have to go I have class in a few minutes”
“Booo” says Cole but even he is gathering himself and getting out of the car both knowing Jackie Howard doesn’t show up late for anything especially class and that he wouldn’t ask her to.

Cole opens the driver door and gets his bag out of the backseat before going to lean against the front of the car while Jackie flattens her hair that had been slightly rustled by Cole’s gentle hand.

When Jackie gets out of the car and joins Cole at the front of the car Cole reaches up with his right hand to grab the fingers of her left hand where it was holding the strap of her backpack that is over her shoulder. He holds her hand as they make their way across the parking lot back towards the school. When they step up onto the sidewalk in front of the door Jackie feels her hand get squeezed and then released. Her chest warms when she remembers their conversation by the river when she told him she feels weird when there is an audience. And similes as they walk side by side through the hall toward her next class. When they round the corner just before she ducks into her classroom he says “see you later New York” with a sweet smile and wink. Leaving her to walk into English with a smile and blush painting her cheeks as she meets Grace at their desks.

Chapter Text

After the last bell Jackie rushes to pack up to meet the Walter’s kids at the car. Grace walks with her to her locker as they talk idly about upcoming assignments.
“Isn’t Mr Walter supposed to be coming home tomorrow?” Asks Grace as Jackie is placing books from her locker into her bag.
“As far as I know ya” Jackie says as she closes her locker and they start to walk out toward the parking lot. When they hit the sidewalk out front Grace heads off in the other direction to her car as Jackie continues by herself toward the Walter’s car until she hears footsteps just behind her. She can’t explain it but she feels Cole walking behind her.

“Are you going to walk with me or do you just want to follow me like a creep?” Jackie asks with a joking tone and a smile that Cole can hear.
“I don’t know New York you run a hard bargain” Cole responds matching her tone but he increases his pace for a few strides to fall into step with her.
After a step or two of silence Cole asks “how was the rest of your day New York?” Having dropped the joking tone and replaced it with comforting concern that causes a warm smile to spread across Jackie’s face.
“It was ok I just want to go home” Jackie responds. Cole notices how she refers to the farm house as home and it warms him.
“Then let’s get you home” he says softly as he puts a gentle arm around her back squeezes and drops the arm as they approach the car.

The car has somehow lost the awkward energy it had just eight hours before. They drive home to the sound of several different conversations and the radio on in the background. Everyone piles out of the car when they get home and makes their way inside. Jackie heads upstairs to drop off her school stuff and have a minute to herself before she gets to her homework.

Jackie is laying across her bed when she hears a knock at her door and Katherine ask if she can come in.
Her bedroom door opens and Katherine walks in a sits next to her on her bed as Jackie sits up.
“Hey sweetheart. How are you?” Katherine asks sweetly.
“I’m good just tired how are you?”
“Good. Listen sweetheart I wanted to let you know that George is coming home from the hospital tomorrow. I just wanted to tell you he totally understands why you didn’t come to the hospital and he does not blame you at all.” Katherine says, the care in her voice clear.
Jackie hadn’t really thought that he would have any emotions about it. She’s now feeling weirder about seeing George tomorrow than she was before this conversation. “Oh right ya ok thanks” Jackie responds absently after a beat.
“Is everything else going ok honey?”
“What? Oh ya I’m good Katherine.”
Katherine pats Jackie’s knee before getting up to leave. As Katherine closes her door behind her she says “See you at 6 for dinner” and leaves Jackie to flop back down onto her back across her bed like she was before Katherine came in.

Shes left feeling guilty for never going to see George and wondering how he could not resent her. Shes stuck in her thoughts again when her door opens again and her bed sinks under the weight of another person as she lifts her head and sees Cole look at her with concern. “New York what’s wrong?” He asks with concern.
“What?” Jackie is confused at how he could know something is going on.
“You look like you’ve been crying” he says softly
Jackie doesn’t think she has been but realizes she’s not really sure. “George is gonna think I’m a horrible for not going to see him in the hospital” the words rush out of her before she realizes she opened her mouth.

Cole was shocked by the rush in words but quickly responded “no he doesn’t. He understands Jackie” Jackie lets out a self deprecating chuckle “it was only a year ago a hospital changed your entire life I promise you he doesn’t think of you any differently for not wanting to go back to one.”
“Really?” Jackie asks delicately.
“I promise New York”
At that Jackie is silent like she’s thinking over what Cole and Katherine have said.

After a few beats of silence Cole says “do you want me to leave you alone right now?” Jackie shakes her head no against the comforter of her bed without saying anything.
Cole responds by flopping back so they are both lying with their backs across the bed and their feet on the floor.

Jackie didn’t even realize she fell asleep until she is waking up to Nathan knocking on the door and telling her dinner is ready. It takes Jackie a moment but she realizes that she is now laying the normal way in her bed with her head on the pillow and a blanket gently laid across her. She is smiling to herself at the realization that Cole was most likely the one to tuck her in when he noticed she fell asleep as she makes her way downstairs for dinner.

Chapter Text

Jackie is completing chores outside after dinner before it gets too dark out when she feels two warm hands on reaching around her hips from the back that she recognizes as Cole’s. Without turning around she leans back into him and his arms extend around her waist. She feels his lips briefly brush the side of her neck that causes goosebumps to run down her spine from where his lips were and warmth settles in her stomach.
“Hi” she hums
“Hey” he responds

Neither says anything for a few beats and neither moves away from the other until Cole leans back ever so slightly.
“Do you ever sleep at night New York or are you trying to avoid me because this isn’t the first time you’ve fallen asleep the moment we are alone together” Cole asks. His tone is joking but Jackie can hear the hint of concern under the joke.
“Not any less than normal” Jackie responds like it’s no big deal. For some reason though this isn’t as comforting to Cole as Jackie thinks it will be so he continues.
“And normal is…?” He guides her to continue.
“I don’t know 4 or 5 hours” Jackie states like it is no big deal. Jackie feels Cole’s arms around her shift and the she is being turned around and entirely encompassed in his arms. She doesn’t understand why her response elicited that reaction but also doesnt hesitate to return the hug.
As he pulls away he asks “do you need help finishing your chores?”
“No I’m almost done”
“Ok New York I’m going to go do my homework” he says with a cheeky smile and starts to walk away.
“Who are you and what have you done with Cole Walter?” Jackie calls after him and hears him laugh in reply as he climbs the porch stairs towards the front door.

It’s about 1am when Cole is walking back from the bathroom and hears something from Jackie’s room. A muffled “no…no…no” can be heard through her closed door. Cole pauses and then hears “Lucy…no” and that Cole stops dead in his tracks. He wants to go make sure Jackie is ok or wake her up if she is having some awful nightmare, but this isn’t something they have talked about before and he wants to respect her privacy. But then he hears a muffled sob from Jackie’s room and is at her door before he has time to think better of it.

He quietly opens her door and kneels down by her bed before gently placing a hand on her shoulder and trying to wake her up. When her eyes snap open he says “hey Jackie it’s ok it’s me it’s just a bad dream you’re ok” and Jackie’s sob wrecks through her chest as she throws her arms around Cole’s shoulder and buries her face into his shoulder. Cole’s arm fly out to catch himself so he doesn’t fall on to her and his other holds her securely to his front.

They stay like that for quite some time before Jackie has either tired herself out or a calmed down Cole can’t figure out which. Wordlessly Jackie pulls him forward into her bed and pulls the covers up from where they pooled around her legs. Cole tries not to think about how hard she had to be thrashing and kicking in her sleep before he work her up for her sheets to be all the way down there. She still hasn’t said anything as she lifts her hear just enough so it can rest on Cole’s chest and he lifts his arm to cold her comfortably with his hand coming to rest at her hip. Jackie’s arm that isn’t pressed in between their bodies reaches across his torso under the baggy t shirt he had thrown on last night. Jackie doesn’t really have the brain power at 1:30 in the morning to process how much she is craving the grounding contact from Cole as she slowly turns on her side towards him and lifts her left leg so it is bent over his legs.

Her breathing has finally slowed and Cole thinks she is asleep as he puts his hand down so it rests over the sheets on the outside of her thigh that is across his legs and rubs his thumb slowly back and forth. He realizes she must not have been asleep when the hand that was across his torso tightens in its grip before releasing and sliding up his chest to rest on top of his heart beat. After a few seconds a remaining tension that Cole hadn’t realized Jackie was still holding released from her body. Something in him shatters at that and he leans down to press a kiss to the part of her head he can reach without disturbing the way they are laying.

“I’ll stay as long as you want me to” he whispers into her hair wanting her to know that she’s in control here.
“Don’t leave” she mumbles against his side and at that his grip on her hip tightens protectively and he presses another kiss to her head.
“I won’t” he whispers back.

This time she actually does fall back asleep but Cole is left awake staring at the ceiling think about what just happened and wanting to stay awake incase she needs him again. He is also away that he doesn’t have his phone for an alarm so if he falls asleep there is a very high likelihood of him being caught in here later this morning and he doesn’t think that is something she would want to deal with on top of everything.

He is wondering if this is a more frequent occurrence and if that is why she isn’t sleeping through the night as he looks at the digital clock on her bedside table read 5:37am. How the hell have I been in here for 4 hours already he wonders to himself.

He looks down at Jackie who hasn’t moved since she fell asleep four hours ago and gently rubs his hand up and down her side and whispers “hey Jackie I have to go back to my room before Danny wakes up” she grumbles something that Cole can’t quite make out. He is realizing she isn’t the most coherent after waking up and that makes him smile. He repeats himself and this time Jackie just clings to him instead of vocalizing. “Unless you want to explain to the family that you slept like a koala on me all night I really have to go now” this makes her sigh and release her grasp enough so Cole can slide out from her grasp and her sheets. He leans down to kiss her forehead before walking to the door and whispering see you later New York and quietly walking back to his room. Immediately Jackie feels his absence, most dramatically in a chill that falls over her body now that she isn’t pressed against him.

Luckily he doesn’t run into anyone in the hall and Danny is still out cold in his bed as he slips back in and under his covers to pretend he is sleeping until his alarm goes off.