Chapter Text
Illustrated and Designed by the author: Uzumakitsune
Tomorrow! She’ll be here tomorrow, were my thoughts as I presided over the Green Shades graduation ceremony and a grin creeped through my lips. I didn’t smile much these days, but thinking about her made me feel better.
She would have loved this event.
Sada Kazuki wasn’t only the most sought-after Advisor in the Alliance of the Five, she was also the smartest person I knew —yes, even smarter than my genius Advisor and second from our entire class, Nara Shikamaru, but bet who was top score not only in our year, but historically? It was her, and that once sweet little smarty-pants girl, now fucking extraordinary powerhouse of a woman, was my oldest friend.
She was so impressive that even when she couldn’t wield her Chakra, and had absolutely no jutsu, she’d become the top strategist of her time, consulting not only for Masashi, our Military base, but the other four nations in our coalition, and was already in the War room when I was barely learning to control my Kitsune powers. She was instrumental in us winning the Last Shade War and was the most decorated civilian in the history of Tani, our country.
And she was coming to work with me tomorrow.
I smiled again as Shikamaru announced me and the crowd of soldiers formed in the plaza around the Shadow Tower cheered. I waved at them, taking the podium.
“Shades!” I called and they hailed again. “Greens!” An olive wave shifted in the mob, whistling and shouting, waving their fists in the air.
All the cadets wore dress uniforms: military tunics, side caps, and pressed slacks in their respective colors, with white gloves and shined black boots. The Green Shades made almost half of the crowd formed closer around the stage, eyes full of hunger for a heroic future.
“Greys!” I called next, and the soldiers dressed in slate, roared with grave voices from the middle rows in the formation. They were more experienced, already cut in the field, and therefore, sounded more secure in their cheering. “Blacks!” The last couple of lines, all Elite Shades, shouted heavily, rotundly, with the weight of their years under my service, with the conviction of who’d been tested and proved in the battlefield, as my siblings in arms.
“Shades! Shades! Shades!” They shouted together and sounded like music, like violence, like blood and pain, and my heart rumbled with nostalgia.
“Congratulations!” I smiled, proud of them as I nodded at Lady Fourth and Lord Sixth behind me, between their respective Silver Shade escorts. I’d seen many graduations in five years as Shadow Commander of Masashi, yet I still got emotional thinking about their immense potential, knowing all too well many of them dreamed of following in my footsteps.
“You’ve probably never heard this story about me, but I’ve always wanted to be Shadow of the Valley,” I joked, and the crowd laughed. “These old folk behind me would tell you how much of a pain in the—” I glanced back, and Lady Fourth’s fist clenched by her sides as she mumbled something, probably cursing me under her breath, while VI covered his smile and shook his head, “ahem, how much of a pesky little one I was, telling anybody who’d listen I’d be Shadow one day.”
“Nanadaime!” a cadet shouted, and the mob cheered again. “Lord Seventh!” someone else yelled and I lifted my right hand, quieting them down with a patient nod.
“It wasn’t easy, I can tell you that,” I continued. “It took me all of thirty years to accomplish it, and I even lost a few chunks on the way here.” I removed the white glove and lifted my right arm again; a prosthetic I’ve gotten some time after the end of the Last Shade War. The mood got too solemn and serious for a moment, and I scratched my neck with the mechanical fingers. “Though I beat all of them to the curve, right Baba? Sensei?” I chuckled, feeling the previous Shadow’s death stares on my neck, and the Shades relaxed. I heard their laughter trickling through the ranks again.
“I’m not the best with words, you all know that, but believe me when I say, it’s possible to become strong. It’s possible when you have people in your corner, when you can trust your friends and colleagues, your brothers and sisters in arms, when you don’t EVER GIVE UP!” I roared the last part, lifting my mechanical fist in the air and the cadets roared again.
“Shades! Shades! Shades!”
“Now, enjoy the rest of the day,” I glanced quickly behind me and added, “and party all night,” I winked at the sea of cadets sneakily, “but report bright and early tomorrow for orders!” The cheering and whistling reached a new apex. “You’re dismissed!”
They scattered around to meet their friends and families also gathered all over the Shadow Square, chanting and celebrating and as their noise started quieting down, I found myself looking for her dark eyes behind me, wondering if she’d be impressed or amused by my total lack of oratory skills, but I remembered she didn’t arrive until… tomorrow.
I sighed, walking back to meet my senseis and Lady Fourth.
“I never not get teary eyed when I see you like this, Naruto,” Ikura-sensei said, wiping his eyes and leaning on his husband, J-sensei, who smiled behind his mask and patted his shoulder caringly, and I choked up too.
“Thank you, sensei,” I said quietly, trying to not cry myself.
Iruka-sensei was the closest thing to a father I had, and his kind words meant the world to me.
“Baba, don’t be mad,” I begged, turning to her, but she grabbed my jacket and pulled me down to her level, to meet her fiery hazel eyes. Even when she looked very unthreatening in her all-black dress uniform with golden IV’s embroidery on her cuffs and lapel, and a red lined dignified cloak, standing as tall as my ribs, Baba was a strong cunning Shade, capable of giving me a run for my money, even now in her seventies.
“If you ever call me old again…” she threatened with a small bony fist in my face, but I knew better than to tease her again. Those small fists could bring down entire cities with their deadly force.
Lady Tsunade was one of the best doctors in the five nations and a scientist, the Fourth Shadow of Masashi, the love of my late Master’s life, and even the closest thing to a grandmother I ever knew, but also a very scary woman.
“Sensei, save me,” I called for VI to assist but he waved me away with his gloved hand. His uniform was like ours, the only difference among us were our signature colors, reflected in the accents and the lining of our dress cloaks. His buttons and general threading were all blue, unlike the golden VI motive adorning his collar and cuffs. My color was blood orange, and my number, as his successor, VII.
“Like I’m not scared of Lady Fourth myself,” he said, and she shot him a killer look, which prompted him to make himself smaller too. Shikamaru shook his head, completely fed up with our nonsense.
Shikamaru was not only my main Advisor at the moment, but also one of my oldest friends. We went to the Academy together and became men, supporting each other’s rights and also wrongs. He was annoyingly chill and nonchalant, lazy to a fault, but so smart, he made up for his tendency to procrastinate and disengage with pure genius.
“When’s Kazuki coming to set him straight?” Baba asked, letting go of my jacket, finally. Tomorrow, I thought, smiling, but then I became self-conscious.
“No Shade’s ever gonna respect me if they hear you talking to me like this, Baba,” I complained, but she sucked her teeth, waving me away with her gloved hand. She still treated me like a pesky brat, even at my mature age of thirty-seven, and it made me feel inadequate to this day. I crossed my arms over my chest, ready to melt down if she kept it up, but she ignored me instead and I sighed.
“Seriously!” Baba added, irritated. “She never should have left.”
“I agree,” Iruka-sensei added, widening his eyes at his husband.
“Well, we couldn’t kidnap her,” J-Sensei said hesitantly and I smiled, sharing a complicit look with Shikamaru because Lord Sixth was the one in trouble now. “And the Alliance is stronger than ever, in big part thanks to her,” he added with more resolve now and Baba grunted.
J-Sensei was nothing if not a pacifist, always calm and collected, eager to please and smooth things up; totally opposite to me. I couldn’t help but crave conflict and thrill.
“You better make her stay this time,” Baba threatened him, and I agreed, nodding silently. “She belongs with you, here!” she told me, and I smiled to the side, agreeing even harder now. Iruka-sensei, who was also a fan of Kazuki, beamed as well.
“Yes ma’am. I will tie her to my bed, if need be,” I let out and when they all raised brows, I realized what I’d said, and choked. Then I barked, “A BED! Any bed… or even better, her own bed.” I stuttered through a bunch of words, every one of them stupider than the previous one. “How about I don’t tie her to any bed? I shouldn’t tie her at all,” I muttered, deflated and exhausted.
That was… something…
Baba looked at me like I was a freak accident of nature and closed her eyes, sighing. I gave up, hiding my face in my hands and they all shook their heads and began walking away from me.
“At least you warned us you weren’t any good with words,” Shikamaru mocked me, patting my shoulder while I internally prayed for the earth to open and swallow me. “We got some movement on the Hyde case. I’ll see you upstairs,” he told me, and I nodded as he walked away.
Sometimes I can’t believe they voted me Seventh Shadow of Masashi. At least she wasn’t here to hear that, I thought, glancing around at the several workers who’d begun to clean up and take apart the stage. I nodded at them as I trotted down from it and stared at the Shadow Tower behind me. I walked up to the glass wall and went to fix the cloak over my shoulders when I realized my pupils had turned into vertical slits and I paused.
That hasn’t happened in a minute. Kurama’s voice rang in my own ears, echoey and groggy. I gulped. My Fox Spirit tended to perceive things about myself way before I did. Not since that night, when you got all—
We don’t talk about my wedding night, Kurama! I reminded him with shame and guilt, and he hid his face in his paws, shaking his head.
But you know what it means.
It doesn’t mean anything. She’s my oldest friend. I shook the thought away, hiding from my own darkest secrets as I blinked. When I opened my eyes again, they were back to normal, though my pupils were still extremely dilated and my lips trembled, reflected in the pristine glass.
Whatever you say, he grunted, going back to sleep inside of me.
“Tomorrow,” I whispered as I stared at myself in the mirror and clenched my fists by my side, and I didn’t know if I was more excited than scared, but I sighed and marched into the building.
I spent the day so nervous, jumpy, in a fucking mixed mood, raging at the stupidest thing, then getting giddy while counting the hours till she’d be here. I went to bed anxious; I couldn’t wait any longer, and the next day I found myself awake way too early.
I’d never been a morning person, but sunrises always made me feel melancholic for… for something unknown, something that had always been missing from this hole inside my chest.
Sunrises called for me often, and I would wake up when it was still dark, covered in sweat and tears, horrified like a little kid in the middle of the worst nightmares, where I’d lost everything, though that everything was a mystery… a weird thing. I never had nightmares as a war orphan, or a war veteran, not even as a widower. I only had nightmares when the void in my soul needed some comfort and only the occasional dawn soothed that ache.
Not every sunrise was tortuous, some were blissful, like this one. Today I woke up with a smile on my face, a musical laughter in my ears, a sweet taste in my lips… and an obscene erection. Days like this one were good days, and even though they only happened like twice a year, around spring and autumn, they filled me with happiness. The emptiness in my chest didn’t weigh so heavy and I could breathe again.
That’s how I felt while I drank my morning latte, sitting alone on the back porch swing, staring at the Zen garden and the magnolia tree I’d planted with my own two hands over a decade ago, still in my sweats because I didn’t need to be in the office for a while, but I couldn’t go back to sleep. Today was a special day. Today she—
“Papa!” My daughter Hana called, leaning on the doorway to the house. “I thought you were sleeping.” She walked outside in her pink pajama pants, rubbing her sleepy eyes. It was too early for her. School didn’t start for another two hours, yet here she was. “I didn’t want you to oversleep. You can’t be late for your meeting with your friend Kazuki,” she said, and my chest tightened, the coffee mug in my hand shuddered and I sighed, almost spilling it.
What’s gotten into you?
“Don’t worry honey. Imma go get ready now,” I assured her, my eyes on the sun as it rose in the most beautiful morning I’d seen in years. I brought my fingers to my lips and took a deep breath, and they smelled like… Impossible! I hadn’t touched a woman in years.
I shook my head and my cheeks burned as I took a long sip of my dark milky brew, which I didn’t need. I slept better than ever last night, but I always had lattes. It was one of those rituals I couldn’t remember where I picked them from anymore, but I just honored them daily, like drinking wine on this same porch some nights while I stared at the moon, wishing for another good sunrise.
“Do you like this lady, papa?” Hana asked and I spat my coffee into the weathered wood boards.
"What kind of question is that?” I asked when I could gather my breathing again. “Your mother—”
"Mom would be happy, papa. It's been almost three years,” Hana said before I could justify myself. I was so embarrassed, and she was getting way too cheeky with her questions.
"Kazuki’s just my friend. She’s my oldest friend..." I said, as my sight drifted away to the sun once more, and my heart rumbled again in anticipation...
What's happening to me?