Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Spencer lays in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling as he listens to his alarm blare from the side table, as it has been for the last three hours, forty-five minutes and twenty-nine seconds. He knows he should get up, get out of bed, he just…can’t bring himself to move.

Is this how mom felt? He wondered, recalling a childhood spent trying to pull her from her own bed, while she insisted that she was resting and her doctor didn’t know what he was talking about, saying she needed to exercise. Have I finally lost my mind?

He blinked. “My name is Dr. Spencer Reid,” he said aloud, voice hoarse from disuse. “I’m in my apartment in Washington D.C. I work with the FBI, in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I live alone. I locked my doors and windows last night. There’s no one in my apartment.” He sighed. “I guess I haven’t gone crazy.” Distantly, he heard knocking at the front door. His brow furrowed, confused. “Or…maybe I have.”

The knocking persisted. He didn’t move. Simply lay there, staring at the ceiling, and listening. Eventually the knocking stopped, but soon after he heard the sound of the door opening.

They must’ve had a key. I didn’t hear the door breaking.

The door closed and voices resumed, familiar. Calling out his name. He didn’t move, or speak. He could tell they were getting closer, so he didn’t see the need to move. Finally, the bedroom door opened.

“Reid?”

“Hey Morgan,” Reid mumbled, gaze trailing from the ceiling to Morgan and Gideon, standing in the doorway. “Gideon?”

“What’s going on, Reid?” Morgan asked, at the same time as Gideon demanded, “What the hell are you doing?”

Reid sighed. “I think this is it, Morgan.”

“What is?”

“My schizophrenic break. I knew it would come eventually.” He sighed. “It’s not as bad as I always thought.”

“Are you seeing things?” Gideon asked. “Hearing voices?”

“No.”

“Do you know where you are?”

Spencer blinked. “Of course.”

“THen you’re not having a schizophrenic break.” His mentor crossed the room in three quick strides, grabbing Spencer’s arms and yanking him to his feet. “Get up. Get dressed. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get to work.”

“Gideon, man,” Morgan murmured, when Spencer swayed, trying to adjust to standing for the first time in hours. “Back off a little?”

Gideon just shot him a look, planting a hand in the middle of Spencer’s back, shoving him forward and barely batting an eye when he stumbled, Morgan stepping forward to catch him in case he fell.

“He can’t lay in bed moping around all day,” Gideon snapped, moving towards Reid’s closet, grabbing clothes at random. “There are people dying , Reid. the longer you lay here, the more innocent people lose their lives to serial killers you should be out there catching.”

Rage crashed through Morgan’s chest, but he choked it down for the moment, reaching out to gently place a hand on Spencer’s arm as he said,

“Hey, Reid, why don’t you go take a shower, okay?”

“He doesn’t have time for a shower,” Gideon snapped.

Morgan glared at him. “He’s already four hours late, I think there’s plenty of time,” he fired back. To Spencer he said, “Go get into the shower, okay? I’ll be in with a change of clothes.”

Spencer nodded, and Morgan waited until he heard the bathroom door close to turn on Gideon.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“Excuse me?”

“There’s obviously something going on with him, do you seriously think guilt tripping him is going to do anything to help?”

“He can’t lay around here wallowing in his misery forever.”

“No, but maybe a little bit of a gentler hand might be nice.”

“What, like your gentle hand?” Gideon snapped. “He’s a grown man, Morgan, he doesn’t need you to baby him like a mother hen.”

“Well he doesn’t need a drill sergeant either.”

They stared each other down. “I can have you written up for insubordination,” Gideon growled.

Morgan laughed. “Yeah, I’d like to see you try,” he challenged. “You know, it’s great that you came back and all, Gideon, but times have changed. The team has changed. You don’t hold as much power as you used to. Not over me, or the team, or even Reid.”

“I never held power over Reid.”

“Didn’t you? So the way he looked to you after every profile he gave, after every clue he found or every guess he made, he didn’t instantly turn to seek your approval? He didn’t hang onto your every single word?”

“I didn’t ask him to do that–”

“No, but when you met him he was a seventeen year old kid with at least one PhD, a childhood of trauma and an absent father. You were the first male figure in his life to ever give a damn about him, so of course he’d constantly seek your approval.” Morgan scoffed. “And of course you had no idea.”

“I don’t appreciate the way you’re speaking to me.”

“And I don’t like the way you treat Reid.” Morgan stood to his full height, forcefully taking the clothes from Gideon’s hands. “So get out.”

“ Excuse me? I’m only here to help him–”

“And all you’re going to do is hurt him, so get out,” Morgan snarled. “ Now .”

Gideon just shook his head. “Get him to work, Morgan,” he snapped as he turned towards the door. “And make sure he knows I’m going to have words with him.”
“We’ll see about that.”

Reid feels like crap. His body is heavy, his head is aching. Even from here at his desk, he can hear the raised voices of Gideon and Morgan emanating from behind the closed door of Hotch’s office.

The smell of sugar makes him open his eyes, staring down at the plate and scone on his desk. “I don’t want it,” he mumbled. 

“Baby genius, you gotta eat something,” Garcia murmured gently. “Morgan doesn’t think you’ve eaten anything all day.”

Reid just shrugged weakly. “Not hungry.” More shouting came from Hotch’s office. Reid curled in on himself, shoulders pressed up near his ears. He heard Garcia make some sort of sympathetic noise before she knelt next to him, placing a hand on his arm, turning him towards her.

“Come on,” she murmured. “Let’s go hang out in my office, okay?”

“I have to work,” he told her, unable to meet her gaze. “And–and Gideon wants to–”

“Gideon can choke on concrete and die,” Garcia said sweetly as she stood, pulling Reid to his feet as well. “Come on, Junior G Man. Let’s go.”

Nodding numbly, Reid followed her to her office.

“Enough,” Hotch snapped, finally silencing the two men before him. “ Both of you are out of line. Morgan, you have no right to speak to any member of your team in that manner.” Morgan scowled at him. “And Gideon .” He turned his scowl to the other man. “ You have no right to pull rank. Not over Morgan and not over Reid. I don’t know what you saw in that room but by Morgan’s description, it did not warrant physically pulling Reid out of bed.”

“He can’t just–”

“What if Reid had been injured?”

Gideon scoffed. “He wasn’t. He was too busy feeling sorry for himself.”

“Gideon,” Hotch said, calmly. “As Reid’s medical proxy, I know far more about him than anyone else in this room.” Gideon rolled his eyes. “That means I know that he was diagnosed with depression at fifteen years old and prescribed medication. I know he stopped taking them after one of our cases due to several events. He has not gone back on them. I also know…” Hotch was silent for a long time. “I know that he tried to kill himself six months ago.”

Morgan let out a sharp breath, while Gideon looked like he’d been slapped. “What?”

“I won’t go into detail. It’s none of your business. But Gideon, by pulling him out of bed in a moment when he was clearly in mental distress, you’ve not only put his life in danger but that of the entire team.”

Gideon’s brows furrowed. “In what way?”

“What if we’d gotten called into a case today?” Hotch asked. “Knowing what I just told you, what makes you think Reid wouldn’t have jumped in front of the first loaded gun? Either ours or the unsubs?”

Gideon said nothing. Morgan asked, “You knew he was feeling bad?”

“Reid and I have worked out a plan, after his attempt,” Hotch replied. “He knows the signs and his own triggers. He can tell when it’s going to get bad. He knew it was coming and when he didn’t show up to work today, I suspected that was the case.”

“But you didn’t go get him?” Morgan asked.

“Part of our arrangement was Reid giving me his gun at the end of every evening, in the event he’s having an episode or he’s feeling one coming on.”

Gideon scoffed, shaking his head. “He’ll never learn to be strong enough if you people keep infantilizing him.”

“You can not be serious,” Morgan fired, at the same time as Hotch declared, “You’re out of line, Gideon.”

“You’re acting like you want him to kill himself.”

“Of course I don’t want that,” Gideon snapped. “But if he can’t handle a few pathetic urges then–”

“Jason Gideon, as of this moment you are on suspension.” Morgan and Gideon turned to stare at Hotch, who regarded them both coolly. “Pending a full investigation into your relationship with Dr. Spencer Reid, prior to his employment with the FBI.”

Gideon snarled, “What are you suggesting?”

“He’s suggesting that you might’ve groomed Reid,” Morgan realized. “He was underage and the way he reacts to you, looks up to you, hangs on your every word–”

“I never touched him.”

“Interesting that you went directly to a sexual relationship,” Hotch murmured. “Considering neither of us implied as such.”

Gideon seethed, turning and storming out of the office. Morgan followed close behind, only allowing himself to breathe when he realized Reid wasn’t at his desk and Garcia’s door was closed.

Leaning back into the office, he turned to Hotch and asked, “Do you really think Gideon groomed Reid?”

Hotch sighed and quietly replied, “You want to know where Reid was, when he made that attempt?”

“Where?”

“Gideon’s cabin.” Morgan stayed quiet. “Reid called me in tears. I barely understood him. But I understood enough. An argument with Gideon, leading Reid to believe Gideon was disappointed in him. Gideon left–”

“And Reid tried to off himself.” Morgan took a shuddering breath. “God. I had never even considered–”

“Neither had I.” Hotch kept his tone even, steady. “But we’re going to look into this now.”

“And in the meantime?” Morgan asked. “What about Reid?”

“Stay close,” Hotch replied. “Keep an eye on him. Be there as a soft landing spot, in the event we do find out Gideon has been grooming him…” Hotch took a deep breath. “Sexually or otherwise.”

“I’ll stay with him,” Morgan replied. “At least until…until he comes out of this. Until he can start thinking clearly.”

“If Reid really has been groomed,” Hotch said. “It’s going to be a very long time before he can think about Gideon clearly at all.”

Morgan nodded. “Yeah. I know.”

Chapter Text

The echo of the door slamming, of Gideon’s words, still echoes in his head half an hour after the older profiler had left.

“If you can’t figure a profile out fast enough to stop our unsub from killing again, then maybe you’re the one who should be dead.”

He sat on his knees, staring blankly down at the floor. You’re the one who should be dead. You’re the one who should be dead. You’re the one who should be dead.

Trembling, he pushed to his feet and stumbled into the kitchen, eyeing the broken shards on the ground, where Gideon had thrown a glass at his head earlier in their conversation.

Dropping to his knees, he picked up one of the larger pieces, staring down at it as though it held all the secrets to the universe. It wasn’t until his arm was covered in red, crying out in pain, that he even realized what he’d done.

All at once, he dropped the glass and scrambled for his phone, only to pause. While he had originally been planning to call Gideon, he already knew what the man would say to him.

The least you could’ve done was slit your throat. Can’t even kill yourself right. Pathetic.

So, hands shaking, he called someone else. “ Hotchner .”

“Hotch.” Reid’s voice broke. 

“Reid? What’s wrong?”

“I–I think I really messed up.”

“I’m on my way. Where are you? What happened?”

“I’m at Gideon’s cabin. I…I tried to kill myself.”

Present

A knock on the door. “Come in.”

Soft footsteps, hovering a few feet away from the desk. A quiet voice, requesting,

“Hotch, you can lifted Gideon’s suspension.”

Hotch set down his paperwork, leaning forward to give Reid his full attention. “Did Morgan tell you Gideon was suspended?”

Reid won’t meet his gaze. “No sir.”

Hotch clasped his hands together atop the desk. “Did Gideon tell you that?”

“He never did anything to me.”

Calmly, Hotch said, “Reid, Gideon is currently the subject of a bureau investigation. For that reason, we’d prefer if you did not interact with or contact him.”

“He didn’t do anything,” Reid insisted. “You’re just…it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“You called me after you attempted to kill yourself in Gideon’s cabin after an argument with him,” Hotch said.

“It wasn't his fault. I probably would’ve tried to kill myself anyway.”

Hotch watched him sympathetically. “Spencer, you know I have to ask,” he murmured. “When you and Gideon became involved when you were in college–”

“He’s just my mentor.”

“...right.” Hotch cleared his throat. “During that time, Reid, did Gideon ever make you feel like you owed him?”

“Of course not.”

“Did he ever lead you to believe that if you didn’t do something, he might take something away from you? Or perhaps be disappointed in you?”

“Gideon didn’t groom me.”

“He got you into the FBI, pushed you through the academy and got you a position on this team at twenty-two years old. Even with your intelligence, it would’ve taken you time to get here on your own. Did he ever make you feel like he could pave your future for you, as long as you did what he asked?”

“Please, Hotch, just let it go.”

Worry crossed Hotch’s face. “Spencer,” he said softly. “Is Gideon threatening you right now?”

“He’s never threatened me at all,” Reid stressed. “I owe him, Hotch. He…you’re right, he got me here. I never would’ve gotten this job without him, but that’s…that doesn’t mean he groomed me, I…” he swallowed, looking vaguely sick. “Hotch, I was a seventeen year old genius with two PhDs. I–I’d know if I was being groomed.”

“Reid, if you’re worried about retaliation–”

“Hotch, the more you ask the worse you’re going to make it.”

Hotch leaned back in his seat. Even if Reid wouldn’t directly tell them anything, and he certainly hadn’t been expecting him to, what little Reid had said was more than enough evidence to have Gideon removed from the BAU entirely.

Of course, preventing him from contacting Reid outside of the job was going to be much more difficult.

Years earlier

Gideon sees him sneak in, a twig of a child who absolutely has no business being in college, let alone the lecture Gideon himself is currently giving. He’s got a black eye behind glasses that don’t seem to fit his face and arms littered with bruises.

Gideon doesn’t give him a second thought until he looks over the lecture hall halfway through and realizes that the ‘child’ is the only one actively paying attention to his lecture, taking notes and practically hanging on to his every word.

Gideon is instantly obsessed. 

When the lecture ends, the mass of students file out like drones of zombies. The young man, however, remains behind, slowly packing his things up. Gideon b-lines for him.

“What’s your name?” The boy flinched, hard, and then his eyes widened when he realized who was in front of him.

“Agent Gideon, sir, your lecture was amazing.” And he proceeds to fall into an almost nonstop compliment rant until Gideon forcefully repeats,

“What’s your name?”

The boy snapped his mouth shut so fast, Gideon swore he heard his teeth strike together.

“Reid,” the boy said, then he shook his head. “Spencer Reid.” Another shake, more firm this time and then followed by a deep breath. “Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Gideon raised an eyebrow. “Doctor?” He repeated. Maybe he’d misjudged the man’s age after all. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

Or maybe not. “Seventeen?” He repeated. “With a doctorate?”

Spencer shifted uneasily under his gaze. “Two, actually,” the kid replied.

Gideon looked him over, impressed. “What brings you here, if you’ve already got two doctorates?”

“Ah…my third?” Spencer replied sheepishly. “And…two bachelors.”

“What’s your IQ?”

“Ah, I don’t–”

“You do. Don’t lie. What is it?”

“...187.”

“What are your plans?” Gideon asked, curious. “You’re a certified genius with two, almost three PhDs and two bachelors. You must have some pretty high standards.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Spencer replied, shrugging.

“Come on, there must be something you want to do.”

Spencer was quiet for a moment. “I want to find a cure for schizophrenia.”

“Admirable,” Gideon said, nodding. “Have you ever considered the FBI?”

Spencer blinked. “Um…no?”

“You should,” Gideon replied. “Behavioral Analysis Unit, we could use someone like you.”

“Oh, I…I had never really considered it.”
“Yet you’re here. In my lecture.”

“I was just…curious.”

“I think it was more than curiosity, Spencer. You’re a smart kid. You could go far in life. Don’t waste it sitting around worry about stuff like schizophrenia.”

“Yeah, but…” Spencer shifted uneasily. “I can think about it, I guess.”

“There’s no thinking needed,” Gideon told him. “I’ll pave the way for you, kid. Get you fast-tracked into the BAU years before you have any chance of getting in on your own.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t–”

“I’m offering. You’d be useful to us.”

“I–I can’t repay you–”

“Don’t worry,” Gideon smiled. “I’m sure we’ll think of a way for you to pay me back. Why don’t we get some lunch? I’ll pay. Pick your favorite place, get as much as you want. I’d like to get to know Dr. Reid better.”

Present

“I can’t believe we’re actually treating Gideon like an unsub,” Morgan murmured.

“I can’t believe we all watched the way he treats and interacts with Reid and never even noticed he might’ve been grooming him,” Prentiss murmured. “We’re profilers. Why didn’t we see?”

“Because we thought we knew Gideon,” Hotch replied. “And because Reid is smart. We thought the same thing he did. That due to his intelligence, he’d know if he was being groomed.”

“Reid can’t seriously think that, right?” Morgan demanded.

JJ asked, “Has he had any contact with Gideon since the suspension started?”

“I have reason to suspect so.”

“Why?” Rossi replied. “HAs he told you?”

“Indirectly,” Hotch replied. “He came to my office forty-eight hours after Gideon was suspended, essentially asking me to drop the charges, insisting that Gideon had never done anything and, I quote, ‘the more you ask the worse you’re going to make it’.”

“So Gideon told him to ask you to lift the suspension, assuming that if Reid told you he wasn't being groomed, you’d listen,” Prentiss guessed. “And from the sound of it, he threw in a threat, too.”

“And that’s why we’re going to treat Gideon like an unsub. Because for all intents and purposes, that’s what he’s become. So.” He leaned forward, clasping his hands together on the table. “Let’s start building his profile.”

“Reid, come in. Have a seat.”

“I know what this is about,” Reid said, as he closed the door to Hotch’s office and took a seat. 

“We’re just trying to get as much information as we can.”

“Gideon had every right to drag me out of bed like he did, I never would’ve gotten up myself.” Reid nervously twisted his fingers together in his lap.

“The way Morgan described it–”

“Well maybe Morgan was wrong .” Reid ducked his head at his own raised voice.

Hotch, calm as ever, said, “The way Morgan described it wasn’t just forcing you up because you didn’t want to leave the bed. It was ignoring your distress at the thought of having a schizophrenic break and using aggression and physical force to get what he wanted.”

“It’s fine, Gideon’s pushed me around–” Reid snapped his mouth shut.

Hotch, out of the kindness of his heart, elected to ignore the slip up. “Reid, you’re working very hard to try and protect Gideon. Is he scripting you, or threatening you?”

“Of course not, but I won’t let you have the man who got me here arrested or–or fired just because I was too lazy to get out of bed.”

“You were under the impression that you were having a schizophrenic break,” Hotch told him calmly. “That isn’t lazy, Reid.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t actually, so…” Reid stared at his lap. Hotch leaned forward, voice low.

“Reid. If you’re afraid of what he might do to you for speaking out against him, I promise we can protect you. We won’t let him hurt you, none of us will.”

“But…but if–if he knows I…” Reid squirmed. “I don’t want to be fired.”

Hotch frowned. “Why would you be fired, Reid?” He asked. “Did Gideon tell you–”

“He never said it,” Reid murmured. “But…I mean he’s always made it clear that he’d fire me over any mistake, so I… I guess I just assumed…”

“No. No, Reid, you need to listen to me right now .” Hotch’s eyes burned with fury as he declared, “Gideon has never held power over your employment. Do you understand that?”

“But–”

“No. Gideon has never had the ability to fire you at will. He only said that to control you. To keep you where he wanted.” Some of the color faded from Reid’s cheeks. “Reid. I need to know for the investigation, it’s important. If you had known earlier that you could freely leave this job without repercussions–”

“I would’ve quit a long time ago.” Reid’s admission hung in the air like smoke. Swallowing thickly, he added in a whisper, “If I hadn’t met Gideon, I don’t think I would’ve joined the FBI at all.”

Hotch let out a breath, running his hands over his face. He leaned back in his seat, silent for a moment.

“Did Gideon make you feel like he was doing you a favor, getting you into the BAU and pushing you through the academy, allowing you to bypass the physical test?” Reid nodded. “Did he make you feel like you owed him for it?”

“Yes.”

“Has Gideon ever physically put his hands on you in an unwanted manner, either violently or sexually?”

“Yes.”

Hotch didn’t ask for clarification. That could be gotten later. The fact that Reid was admitting to the abuse and grooming at all was going to be enough to get Gideon fired completely.

“If we were to fire Gideon–” and Hotch only chose ‘if’ because he was concerned how Reid might respond to hearing ‘when’. “–are you afraid he might come after you as a form of retaliation?”

“Yes.”

Hotch nodded. “That’s all for now, Reid, thank you. I can’t express enough how much I appreciate you being honest with me.”

“If Gideon ever finds out what I told you, he’ll kill me.” and Hotch was very, very afraid that Reid wasn’t being dramatic with his choice of words.

“We won’t let that happen. When this all goes through, whatever route we choose to take, we’ll ensure the two of you are kept separate and that he can’t hurt you.”

“He’ll find a way.”

“Reid.” Reid twitched, refusing to meet his gaze. “We won’t let him hurt you.”

Reid just nodded numbly. “Am I done?”

“Yes, Reid, we’re done. Thank you.”

He watched Reid step out of the office before composing his email to the higher-ups in the bureau, investigating the case.

Gideon was fired and served a restraining order a week later.

Chapter Text

Reid’s been pacing the length of his apartment for approximately three hours, fifty-nine minutes and nineteen seconds. Two texts from an unknown number sat unopened on his phone, but he isn’t stupid and neither is Gideon.

He knew the older man would contact him eventually, he just hadn’t realized he wasn’t going to be ready for it to happen when it did.

Unknown number - Saturday, 3:18PM: We need to talk.

He paced nervously, knowing that he absolutely should not answer that text. In fact, he should’ve called Hotch the second he got the text in the first place, instead of actually considering answering it. It was a violation of the restraining order, he knew that, and yet…

Unknown number - Saturday, 3:20PM: I just want to talk to you.

His hands trembled as he finally stopped pacing, staring blankly at the wall for several long seconds. It had been hard enough to even reflect on his relationship with Gideon, on the things the man had said and done when they’d first met, and finally acknowledge the fact that it was grooming and abuse. 

He’d been so convinced he’d recognize it, so adamant that after spending ten years under his father’s own abuse that he’d be able to see another abuser coming a mile away, that he’d fallen right into Gideon’s hands. The man had known exactly what to say, what to do, to get Reid to trust him so that by the time he finally did raise his hand towards the young genius for the first time, Reid would brush it off, convince himself he deserved it, that Gideon wouldn’t have hit him if he’d listened correctly in the first place.

And yet, despite knowing all of this, he still picked up his phone and replied,

Spencer Reid, Saturday 7:21PM: Can we meet somewhere public?

Gideon replied so quickly, Reid almost dropped his phone in surprise. 

Unknown number - Saturday, 7:21PM: I’m not going to hit you. We’ll meet at my cabin at eight.

Reid closed his eyes, letting out a shaking breath as he realized how disappointed Hotch was going to be with him, for engaging with Gideon and agreeing to meet with him instead of calling the police or someone on the team to report the restraining order being violated.

“Gideon isn’t who any of us thought he was,” Hotch had told him.

“You think he’s going to violate the restraining order,” Reid murmured.

“I think it’s a possibility,” Hotch replied. “I don’t think he’ll do it by showing up though. I think he’ll go a different route. Try to get you to come to him so that, technically, you’re the one violating the restraining order and therefore, you’re the one subject to legal repercussion.”

“But texting would violate the restraining order too.”

“It would,” Hotch agreed. “But Gideon also knows how to talk his way out of situations and I don’t doubt he’d be able to convince authorities that yes, he contacted you first but you’re the one who showed up.”

“I’m not going to,” Reid said. “I don’t…I don’t want to be anywhere near him. Not after what he…”

“If he texts you, or calls you, do not text back or answer that call,” Hotch ordered. “The second you have any contact from him, you either call the police or you call one of us. Try me first, and then Rossi. If neither of us answer, call the others.”

Reid had nodded. “I understand.”

Technically . He told himself, as he sent another text back. This isn’t Gideon. It’s not his number and he’s never confirmed nor denied who he is. It could be someone else entirely. ‘My cabin’ could really mean anything at all. Maybe I have a new friend, I just haven’t put their name in my phone.

Even he knew it was a weak defense that wouldn’t hold up in court.

Spencer Reid, Saturday 7:22PM: I’m not comfortable with that.

Yet again, Gideon’s response was instantaneous. As though he was sitting there, staring at his phone, waiting for Reid to reply to him. As though he had anticipated the response he would get and therefore, already had his own typed out and ready to go.

Unknown number - Saturday, 7:22PM: I’m not asking what you’re comfortable with. My cabin, eight. We need to talk. When Reid didn’t respond within the minute, Gideon sent another. I can come to you, if you’d prefer that.

No, actually, that’s the last thing he’d prefer and his fingers practically tripped over the keyboard in an effort to reply before Gideon decided to just get in his car and show up.

Spencer Reid, Saturday 7:24PM: No, please don’t.

Unknown number - Saturday, 7:25PM: Then I’ll see you in thirty-five minutes.

Reid dropped his phone. “Shit,” he whispered. “Shit, shit, shit.” He began to pace once more, tangling his hands in his hair and yanking forcefully, eyes squeezed shut. “Hotch is going to kill me.”

Wringing his hands together, he stared at his phone which he had left discarded on the coffee table. He needed to tell someone. He needed to tell Hotch or Rossi or someone because he couldn’t go to Gideon’s cabin, not by himself, not when he knew what was going to happen–

The sound of Gideon’s hand against Reid’s cheek rings out in the silence. All at once, Gideon is in his face, cupping his jaw and tilting his head to the side.

“Did that hurt?” Gideon asked. Reid knew better than to disagree, quickly nodding his head. “Good. You know I wouldn’t have to do that–”

“If I thought with my IQ,” Reid mumbled. “Yes sir, I know.”

“Good.” Gideon patted his cheek and they both pretended they didn’t notice Reid flinch. “Don’t make me do that again.”

–but if he didn’t show up by eight, exactly eight , then Gideon was going to come to his apartment and then Reid really wouldn’t have any way to get away.

He called Morgan. “ Hey, Reid, What’s up?”

“Morgan, I really messed up.” He hated the way his voice shook. Hated that he chose the exact words he’d used to call Hotch only a year earlier, though at least this time he wasn’t sitting in a growing pool of his own blood.

“I’m on my way.”

Chapter Text

He takes the coward’s way out, sitting on the back of the police car with Elle, knowing Gideon won’t do anything with the others around. He knows he has to face the man eventually, knows Gideon is mad he didn’t listen and knows Gideon won’t care that Byrar would’ve shot him, if Reid had tried to leave without permission.

“You follow my orders,” Gideon would say, Reid was sure. “Not his.”

Gideon approached them and Reid’s stomach dropped, but the man didn’t even look at him as he asked Elle, 

“You alright?”

In fact, if Reid didn’t know any better, Gideon was actively trying not to look at him. Which was good, because Reid was pouring all of his focus into looking at Elle, too.

“Yeah. I’m fine, dad.”

Reid’s heart stopped. He looked at Gideon, then back at Elle, afraid to move. Trying to keep his expression casual, to not let anyone think he was afraid. Gideon hated it when he acted afraid.

Gideon stared back at her before turning to walk away and the second Reid got to feel relieved that he didn’t do anything was only short lived before Gideon froze and leaned back.

“Elle.” For a second, just one, Reid was sure Gideon was going to slap her. That he was going to raise his hand and hit Elle the exact same way he hit Reid, whenever Reid did something that displeased him. Instead he just said, in a short and clipped manner, “Don’t ever call me dad again.”

Adrenaline racing, Reid couldn’t help the grimace that crossed his face, though at least Gideon had walked away before the expression had appeared.

Not seeing the tension, unaware of the danger she could’ve put herself in, Elle turned to him and asked,

“How do you think he’d feel about mom?”

“Let me know when you’re going to do that,” Reid said, trying to get the words out as quickly as he could before the shake in his voice was noticeable. “So I can, uh…run.”

Not that he’d ever try and run away from Gideon. He knew better than that. But it had made her smile, which had (mostly) been the point, so Reid counted it as a win, giving her a short nod as he stood and walked in the opposite direction Gideon had gone.

He wasn’t running away from him, far from it. He was just…well, he was mostly stalling. An argument would come later, he’d get his lecture for disobedience, and he’d spend the night trying to make it up to his mentor.

In the morning, they’d both go about their day, acting like nothing had happened.

Despite knowing that it would all be over in a matter of hours, the thought of what was waiting for him that night made his skin crawl with fear.

“Gideon sounded mad.” 

Hotch glanced over. “What are you talking about?”

“I know it’s been awhile and we were stressed at the time, maybe that’s why I didn’t notice,” Morgan murmured. “Remenber the train? In Texas, awhile ago? Reid had to go in and do a magic trick to convince the unsub that he’d removed the chip from his arm?”

“I remember.”

“Reid was told to get off the train as soon as the chip was out,” Morgan went on. “Obivously that didn’t happen.”

“Because Bryar wouldn’t let him leave.”

“Yeah.” Morgan nodded. “And I didn’t think of it at the time, because I think I was a little upset too, that Reid wasn’t getting off the train, because we didn’t really know anything was wrong, but–”

“But Gideon sounded angry,” Hotch concluded.

“Because he saw it more as Reid defying him, trying to get away from him,” Morgan murmured. “Do you think…” He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t have to. The unspoken words hung heavy in the air. Do you think Gideon hurt him afterwards?

Hotch answered them anyway. “I think Gideon worked very hard to convince Reid that what he was doing to him was right,” he decided. “And as a result, Reid didn’t think he had any reason to tell anyone.”

“Yeah, well, if you think about his childhood too…” Morgan trailed off as his phone began to bzuz on the side table. He frowned. “It’s Reid.”

Hotch leaned forward as Morgan answered the phone. “Hey Reid, what’s up?”

“Morgan, I really messed up.”

The shake in Reid’s voice was all Morgan needed to get to his feet, issuing a short, “I’m on my way,” before he hurried out of the house, barely wasting time to throw over his shoulder to Hotch ‘I’ll call you with an update.”

Reid is a mess, the minute he opens the door. “I’m sorry,” he says, as Morgan steps inside, immediately looking around to ensure they’re alone. “I know I shouldn't've answered, but I just…I thought…”

“It’s alright,” Morgan assured him, leading Reid over to the couch so they could sit. “What’s going on?”

“Gideon texted me.” He immediately shook his head. “I mean, someone texted me, but…I’m pretty sure it’s Gideon.”

“He used a different phone number?”

Reid nodded. “Probably a burner, I guess.”

“What did he want?”

“To talk,” Reid replied, handing the phone over. “But he wants me to come to him.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I told him I wasn't comfortable with that.”

“And he’s not used to you telling him no, so he turned it into a demand,” Morgan surmised, scrolling through the texts. 

“He doesn’t ask for things,” Reid explained. “He expects them to be done.”

“So he’s not used to you saying no because he never gives you the room to say no.” Reid nodded. “I can’t believe we trusted this guy.”

“Gideon’s not–”

“You confirmed to Hotch that he’s put his hands on you in unwanted ways,” Morgan told him firmly. “Don’t defend him.”

“I know you all think it’s my own fault it got to this point.”

Morgan immediately turned to stare at him, wide-eyed. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Reid shrugged, not meeting his gaze. “I’m the genius, Morgan. I know about grooming and I grew up in an abusive household. I should've seen it a mile away.”

“You were also seventeen, caring for your sick mother and trying to get your third doctorate and not having anyone around you you could lean on or trust,” Morgan pointed out. “So of course you’d instantly trust the first person to treat you kindly.”

Quietly, Reid admitted, “He didn’t.”

“What?”

“Treat me kindly.” Reid glanced up at him before quickly looking away. “Right away, I mean. That’s why I should’ve seen it. He was firm and he was harsh, and I still let him groom me and trick me and–”

“Okay, then let’s swing it this way,” Morgan offered. “Someone gave you attention and growing up, all you knew was negative attention. It was familiar to you. Of course you wouldn’t think clearly, not when you’ve had seventeen years to show you that the only attention you deserved was negative.” Morgan back tracked as soon as the words were out of his mouth. “You don’t only deserve negative attention, that’s not what I mean.”

“I know what you meant.” Reid sighed. “I still should’ve…I don’t know…seen it.”

“Hindsight’s twenty-twenty.”

“Morgan?”

“Yeah?”

“What do I do?” Reid stared at him. “Right now. If I don’t show up at his cabin by eight, he'll come here. I know he will and I can’t…Morgan, I can’t–”

“You won’t,” Morgan said firmly. “I already called Rossi on the way. You’ll stay with him tonight.”

“No, I can’t impose–”

“It’s not an imposition, he offered.”

“It’s not offering if you–”

“I called and explained the situation, he said you can come and stay.” When Reid said nothing, Morgan said, “It’s him or Hotch.”

“No,” Reid stressed. “I can’t put Jack in danger–”

“Then you’re staying the night at Rossi’s.” Morgan wasn’t asking, getting to his feet and heading to the bedroom, Reid following behind and simply watching from the doorway as Morgan found his go-bag and started packing clothes. “You wanna grab your underwear or you want me to?”

Cheeks flushing, Reid crossed into the room to begin helping pack, as Morgan went to the bathroom to pack his toiletries. It didn’t take them long and when Reid went to grab the bag, Morgan stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Reid, you didn’t deserve anything Gideon did to you.”

“You don’t know what he did to me.”

“No, we don’t know the details,” Morgan agreed. “But I can surmise enough to know that he didn’t see you as a person, just a tool he could use to further his own goal.”

Reid pressed his lips together, not wanting to agree but knowing Morgan was telling the truth. He changed the subject instead, asking,

“Are you sure Rossi’s okay with me staying the night?”

“Kid, I think you’ll find you have a harder time convincing him to let you leave.” The joke didn’t get a smile like Morgan had hoped, but it did ease some of the tension lingering in Reid’s shoulders.

“I guess.”

“Do you have anything else you want to grab?” Morgan asked. “Books or anything?”

Reid hesitated for a moment or two, before grabbing two books off his side table. “They were from my mom,” he explained.

“You don’t have to justify.”

But Reid needed to make sure Morgan understood. “I only meant…he has a key. If…if he comes and I’m not here–”

“He’ll take something he knows is important to you, to make you come to him,” Morgan guessed. Reid nodded and Morgan tried not to let his frustration show. “Well, it’s a good thing we’re not leaving your apartment empty tonight.”

“What do you–” Reid took one look at Morgan’s face and immediately shook his head. “No, Morgan, absolutely not.”

“Why not?”

“Becuase that’s just going to make it worse.”

“Why?” Morgan asked. “I’m not gonna do anything to him, but if he has a key and you’re worried about him taking your stuff, someone should be here to make sure he doesn’t.”

“Morgan…”

“I’m only trying to help you, Reid.”

“I know that, but…” Reid let out a long sigh. “He’s going to be upset that I didn’t show. He’s going to be even more upset when he finds out I ran away.”

“You didn’t run away–”

“He’s going to see it like that.”

Morgan breathed through the anger in his chest. “Let’s talk about this in the car.”

“Please don’t stay here tonight, Morgan. Most of my stuff can be replaced.”

“Most of it,” Morgan replied. “Which means there are things in there that can’t be replaced.”

“They’re just things.”

“They’re things that matter to you so much, you think Gideon’s going to take them.” Morgan kept his gaze ahead as they finally headed out of the apartment, not wanting Reid to feel like he was being stared at. “They’re things that are important enough to you that Gideon might take them to get you to do what he wants.”

Reid remained silent until they got into the car, at which point he quietly confessed,

“The first time Gideon hit me, I was already with the BAU, but barely.” Morgan didn’t say anything, eyes on the road, giving Reid the space to speak. “I almost told someone. I wanted to tell someone because I knew…I knew that wasn’t…” his ran his hands over his legs, voice dropping to a whisper. “He told me no one would believe me. That his reputation was higher than mine. I was too new, the team would believe him over me every time.”

“Not true,” Morgan said firmly. “If you said Gideon was hurting you, if you were afraid he’d do it again, we would’ve looked into it. Would’ve helped. At the very least, we would’ve kept the two of you separate.”

Reid just said, “That doesn’t really help me anymore, does it?”

Morgan sighed. “No,” he agreed. “It doesn’t.”

Few words were exchanged for the remainder of the drive.

Chapter Text

“You can just say it, we both know you’re thinking it.”

Rossi glanced over at Reid as the young man spoke for the first time since Morgan had dropped him off an hour earlier.

“I’m not really thinking much of anything,” Rossi confessed.

Reid scoffed. “You know, I think it almost might be worse that you don’t know Gideon before all this happened.”

“To be honest, Reid, even before all of this came to light, I never really liked him,” Rossi confessed, drawing a surprised look from Reid.

“But—”

“Yeah, he’s a great profiler, but it always felt like he was trying to one-up somebody else on who was better.” Rossi eyed him as he added, “Usually you. He always gave those trick questions, the ones he knew would stump everyone else but he knew the answer, as though he was trying to outsmart everyone in the room. He always rubbed me the wrong way. The stuff he’d say to unsubs in the name of the job was…” He shook his head. “Anyway.”

“Do you think because I’m a genius and a profiler, I should’ve seen what he was doing to me a long time ago?”

“I think he saw a kid who he could easily take advantage of and wouldn’t expect that he was being groomed or taken advantage of, because who could ever imagine that an FBI agent would groom them and try to take advantage of them?”

“...that wasn’t what I asked you.”

Rossi blinked. “No, kid, I don’t think you should’ve seen what he was doing, regardless of whether or not you’re a genius or a profiler. Gideon knows what we look for. And he knew, at the time, you were inexperienced. Genius or not, if he wanted to pull one over on you, he would’ve found a way.”

“And the physical abuse?” A long silence fell between them after that question struck the air. “How do you explain that?”

“I explain that as, by the time he lifted a hand to you, you’d convinced yourself that he knew better and knew what was best. You convinced yourself that if he hit you, if he verbally berated you, if he did anything that might typically classify as abuse, then it was because you deserved it, not because it was actually abuse.” Reid looked away. “You want us to blame you. I don’t know why, but I can tell you this. We aren’t going to.”

Morgan’s on the couch when he hears a key slide into the lock, followed by the door opening. Without looking up from his phone, he said, 

“Turn around. Walk away.”

“Where’s Spencer?”

“Not here. Like you should be.”

Footsteps approached the couch, but Gideon stayed far enough away that Morgan couldn’t see him over the back of the furniture.

“I wanted to talk to him.”

“You wanted to hurt him.”

“What I wanted is none of your business.”

“It is when Reid called because he was terrified of you showing uo.”

“Then he should’ve come to my cabin like I asked.”

“Told, you mean.” Morgan sat up, finally facing Gideon. “You told him to come to your cabin. You didn’t ask.”

“I don’t have to.”

“You do. Because Reid is a person, not your property.”

“He’s my protege.”

“He’s your victim.” Gideon scoffed. “You hurt him to get him to do what you want, you hold him to impossible standards–”

“He’s a genius. He needs impossible standards because we know he can beat them–”

“But you hold him to something far above even that. You treat his failures like the end of the world.”

“They may as well be.”

Morgan took a breath. “I want so bad to punch you in the jaw,” he said.

“Where’s Spencer?”

“I’m not telling you. You need to leave.”

“With Hotch or Rossi then. If he isn’t with you, they’re the next two you would’ve reached out to, at this hour.”

“Get out, Gideon.”

“I’m going to talk to Spencer, sooner or later.”

“Not with the restraining order.”

Gideon just tossed Morgan the key to Reid’s apartment and said, “Those are easier to bypass than you think.”

Morgan caught the key with a glare on his face. “Gideon.” The man paused, a hand on the doorknob. “When Reid was…after Tobias. The Dilaudid. Did you know?”

“That he was using?” Gideon glanced back at him. “Yes. I did.” 

“And did you hold that over his head too?”

Gideon only replied, “You’d be surprised what a junkie is willing to do to get their next fix.”

He left before Morgan could finish processing the words.