Chapter 1: shitty Americans, unfortunately
Summary:
The black brothers try their best
Notes:
I wrote this while I was dying of boredom and despair because I missed my bestfriend, don't expect much ig. The next chapters are much better
TW: a single mention of drugs?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Bitch brother
November 12, 2025
Bitch brother (16:21)
Yo reggie
Reg (16:24)
What
Bitch brother (16:25)
I have some hella good news for you
Reg (16:25)
Should I be worried
Bitch brother (16:25)
Kinda
Bitch brother (16:26)
Remember when I told you that one of the administrative members in ucla knows Dumbledore
Reg (16:26)
Yes…
Bitch brother (16:26)
Well they had a fantastic idea
Bitch brother (16:26)
Sophomores and Juniors will be paired with year 2 and 3s from oxford to do some shitty project
Reg (16:27)
What the fuck
Reg (16:27)
Is this some sort of sick prank
Bitch brother (16:27)
No look I have the email
Bitch brother (16:27)
(Insert screenshot)
Reg (16:28)
Fuck
Bitch brother (16:28)
My friends told me we should ask to be paired with your friends
Reg (16:29)
Absolutely not
Bitch brother (16:29)
You prefer a total stranger?
Reg (16:29)
In this case yeah
Bitch brother (16:29)
We both know you're lying reggie
Bitch brother (16:29)
Tell your friends
Reg (16:30)
I will but not because you told me to
Bitch brother (16:30)
Lmao okay
Reg (16:30)
Fuck you
Candy ass🍬
November 12, 2025
Reggie 🖤 (16:34)
Hey
Reggie 🖤 (16:34)
I can see you online fuckers
Lily 🌺 (16:35)
Give us a break we have to quit talking shit about you before replying
Reggie 🖤 (16:35)
My fucking ass
Panda✨️💕 (16:36)
Now that wasn't nice
Reggie 🖤 (16:36)
Guys cut the shit pls 😊
Reggie 🖤 (16:36)
It's important
Evsss🦈 (16:37)
What is
Wifey🎀 (16:37)
Yo mfs
Lily 🌺 (16:37)
Reg will you tell us
Reggie 🖤 (16:37)
If I want to
Batshit 🌿 (16:38)
Tf regulus
Reggie 🖤 (16:38)
(Insert screenshot)
Reggie 🖤 (16:38)
(Insert screenshot)
Panda✨️💕 (16:39)
OMG REGGIE TELL HIM WE SAY YES
Panda✨️💕 (16:39)
LETS PAIR UP WITH HIS FRIENDS
Wifey🎀 (16:39)
Oh yeah Slug told us about this in class
Wifey🎀 (16:39)
I forgot
Reggie 🖤 (16:40)
I relied on the hope it might be a lie
Reggie 🖤 (16:40)
Fuck you dorcas
Evsss🦈 (16:40)
Looks like a social opportunity to me
Evsss🦈 (16:40)
I'll pass
Wifey🎀 (16:41)
Is this a way of saying they know their students are loners and don’t support it?
Lily 🌺 (16:41)
Looks like it
Batshit 🌿 (16:41)
This is literally perfect free numbers for blackmailing
Batshit 🌿 (16:42)
Or I woo them and they give me their address and I burn their house
Batshit 🌿 (16:42)
Guys this is such a great idea
Lily 🌺 (16:43)
I mean how bad could that be
Lily 🌺 (16:43)
I also say you should say yes to Sirius btw I don't want a weirdo
Reggie 🖤 (16:43)
That's exactly why i am not saying yes to him
Wifey🎀 (16:43)
LMAOOO but I agree with Lily
Wifey🎀 (16:43)
How bad could that go
Reggie 🖤 (16:44)
Very bad
Reggie 🖤 (16:44)
Consider me a great friend of yours
Evsss🦈 (16:44)
That might take some willpower
Reggie 🖤 (16:45)
bitch
Panda✨️💕 (16:45)
I could really use some epoxy resin rn
Wifey🎀 (16:45)
I have some in my kitchen
Evsss🦈 (16:46)
Are yall high or smth
Panda✨️💕 (16:46)
Been a long since
Panda✨️💕 (16:46)
Good idea
Lily 🌺 (16:46)
Don't smoke weed guys
Lily 🌺 (16:47)
Especially you Pandora
Panda✨️💕 (16:47)
No
Batshit 🌿 (16:47)
Exactly next time pay for it
Reggie 🖤 (16:48)
I don't think that was the point she was trying to make
Wifey🎀 (16:48)
Nope I'm not doing this today
Wifey🎀 (16:49)
I'll go cook it was nice talking to you chao
Reggie 🖤 (16:49)
It's ciao btw dorcas
Panda✨️💕 (16:49)
Lolz
Lily 🌺 (16:50)
I love how barty is the Italian one yet pays no mind to the certainly serious misspelling of the word fucking hi
Batshit 🌿 (16:50)
Do I look bothered
Batshit 🌿 (16:50)
Sorry if I did
Batshit 🌿 (16:51)
I'm not 😆
Panda✨️💕 (16:51)
Did Evan randomly vanish
Reggie 🖤 (16:51)
Don't you live in the same house
Lily 🌺 (16:52)
Have the same question
Evsss🦈 (16:52)
Fuck you want
Batshit 🌿 (16:52)
Yes actually
Panda✨️💕 (16:53)
Barty what was that
Batshit 🌿 (16:53)
Pan it was a joke
Batshit 🌿 (16:53)
EVS IM SORRY
Batshit 🌿 (16:53)
YOU KNOW I WAS JOKING RIGHT
Evsss🦈 (16:54)
I'm actually angry now
Batshit 🌿 (16:54)
NONONONO IM SORRY
Lily 🌺 (16:54)
I can't bro
Reggie 🖤 (16:54)
I'm actually in tears rn
Batshit 🌿 (16:55)
EVAN
Batshit 🌿 (16:55)
@Evsss🦈 PLZ RESPOND IM SORRY
Panda✨️💕 (16:56)
Barty love he's messing with you
Panda✨️💕 (16:56)
He's on the kitchen and he laughs at the phone occasionally
Panda✨️💕 (16:56)
Occasionally means when you text begging for forgiveness
Lily 🌺 (16:56)
Got the one for you
Reggie 🖤 (16:57)
Oh not again
Lily 🌺 (16:57)
Sorry guys I can't control it
Panda✨️💕 (16:57)
It's a Taylor lyric isn't it
Evsss🦈 (16:58)
Bat you're so funny when you're worried
Batshit 🌿 (16:58)
I hate you
Panda✨️💕 (16:58)
We just skipped the part where we talked about the whole ucla bonding thing
Lily 🌺 (16:59)
Kinda got off topic eh
Batshit 🌿 (16:59)
Want to make a certain conclusion out of the possible upcoming interaction?
Panda✨️💕 (16:59)
Damn formal speech be consuming you bat
Batshit 🌿 (17:00)
Yeah I'm pretending to study
Batshit 🌿 (17:00)
I probably shouldn't drop out of Oxford but it will piss off my dad so I'm reconsidering
Evsss🦈 (17:00)
Won't you miss us nerds?
Lily 🌺 (17:01)
Long live Barty’s scholarship
Batshit 🌿 (17:01)
Jokes on you my parents willingly pay the 10k
Reggie 🖤 (17:01)
Oh to be rich and spoiled
Wifey🎀 (17:02)
You probably wonder what it feels like
Lily 🌺 (17:02)
That's kinda not funny
Batshit 🌿 (17:02)
It kinda is
Panda✨️💕 (17:02)
So Reggie will you tell your brother to ask to be paired with his friends
Reggie 🖤 (17:03)
No
Wifey🎀 (17:03)
I say we vote
Wifey🎀 (17:03)
If you agree text a ✋️
Wifey🎀 (17:03)
✋️
Panda✨️💕 (17:04)
✋️
Lily 🌺 (17:04)
✋️
Evsss🦈 (17:04)
🖕
Batshit 🌿 (17:04)
💅
Reggie 🖤 (17:05)
Fine
Bitch brother
November 12, 2025
Reg (17:07)
How do you know they will agree
Bitch brother (17:07)
I don't
Bitch brother (17:08)
But Minnie loves me so there's hope
Reg (17:08)
Mmmkay
Bitch brother (17:08)
K text me their names
Reg (17:09)
Me obv, meadowes, Evans, Rosier 1, Rosier 2 and Crouch
Bitch brother (17:09)
👍
Bitch brother (17:09)
Mine are absolute slay brother, Lupin, Potter, Pettigrew, Macdonald and Mckinnon
Reg (17:09)
I think you misspelled asshole
Bitch brother (17:09)
Idk what you're talking about
Reg (17:10)
Also how come you wanted to pair up with us
Reg (17:10)
I'm worried you have something in mind
Bitch brother (17:10)
Nahh my friends begged me to
Bitch brother (17:10)
They always ask me about you
Reg (17:11)
How cute
Reg (17:11)
They probably hate you so much
Bitch brother (17:11)
Shut up asshole
Candy ass🍬
November 12, 2025
Reggie 🖤 (17:13)
You won we will be paired with Sirius' friends
Panda✨️💕 (17:13)
WARRRR ISSSSS OOOOOVERRR
Evsss🦈 (17:14)
I hope you get paired with your brother
Reggie 🖤 (17:14)
I will fake my death then
Lily 🌺 (17:14)
Too moody Evs, too moody
Evsss🦈 (17:14)
I didn't get enough sleep
Evsss🦈 (17:14)
And one more lesson on pandemics will be the end of me
Lily 🌺 (17:15)
Poor thing
Wifey🎀 (17:15)
Hey reg I think I remember one of Sirius’ friends
Wifey🎀 (17:15)
From back when we visited
Wifey🎀 (17:16)
Some Marlene
Reggie 🖤 (17:16)
Oh yeah that bitch
Wifey🎀 (17:16)
Hot bitch
Lily 🌺 (17:17)
Hmm okay
Batshit 🌿 (17:17)
I can't do this anymore fuck
Evsss🦈 (17:17)
Studying
Panda✨️💕 (17:18)
Emphasis on dying
Panda✨️💕 (17:18)
Yall wanna come over
Wifey🎀 (17:18)
I just saw snape outside tf
Wifey🎀 (17:18)
Yeah I'm coming
Lily 🌺 (17:18)
M2
Batshit 🌿 (17:19)
Me three
Reggie 🖤 (17:19)
Give me 10
Panda✨️💕 (17:19)
OK cu all
Notes:
That was a confusing one, next chapter is multi pov too. Don't try to make any sense there is no specific way my brain works, i just switch povs subconsciously (very mindful very demure I know)
Chapter 2: how many feet is a meter?
Summary:
Lily talks to Mary, James talks to regulus, group chats are a coping mechanism
Notes:
TW: more mentions of drugs bc why not (dont do drugs kids its bad for you
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Reggie 🖤
November 13, 2025
Lily 🌺 (11:46)
Come to slugs office
Reggie 🖤 (11:46)
K
Candy ass🍬
November 13, 2025
Lily 🌺 (13:24)
Guys did you get your numbers
Panda✨️💕 (13:25)
Yeah they gave them to my class, and explained the whole thing
Panda✨️💕 (13:25)
Slughorn also told me that me and my lot are covered
Panda✨️💕 (13:26)
He checked a list to give me my number
Lily 🌺 (13:26)
Yeah he spoke to me and reggie, he doesn't know who will take who, but it's us six and them six
Lily 🌺 (13:26)
He also said “Minervas orders”
Lily 🌺 (13:27)
Idk what that means
Batshit 🌿 (13:27)
Got mine too
Batshit 🌿 (13:27)
Time for another episode of making people regret existing
Evsss🦈 (13:28)
I also got mine
Evsss🦈 (13:28)
Cas has lab until 2 though
Panda✨️💕 (13:29)
How bout reg
Lily 🌺 (13:29)
He has studio
Lily 🌺 (13:29)
I have Sirius’ number though if we want to check whether we got the right numbers or not
Evsss🦈 (13:30)
Should we wait for them?
Panda✨️💕 (13:30)
Oooh mine texted me
Batshit 🌿 (13:31)
Okay let's do that
Lily 🌺 (13:31)
Hehehe
+1 310 482-1937
November 13, 2025
Lily 🌺 (13:34)
Hi
Lily 🌺 (13:34)
You're my number pal from ucla right?
+1 310 482-1937 (13:36)
Oh yeah hi!
+1 310 482-1937 (13:36)
Yeah your number matches the one they gave me
+1 310 482-1937 (13:36)
What's your name so i can add you
Lily 🌺 (13:37)
I'm Lily
+1 310 482-1937 (13:37)
Love it
+1 310 482-1937 (13:37)
I'm Mary
Lily 🌺 (13:37)
Yayyy I got a girl (right?)
Mary ucla (13:38)
Lmao my reaction exactly
Mary ucla (13:38)
Yes I'm a girl
Mary ucla (13:38)
You too right?
Lily 🌺 (13:39)
Yep
Lily 🌺 (13:39)
So you're friends with Sirius or did they mess it up
Mary ucla (13:39)
Oooh yes I am (unfortunately)
Mary ucla (13:40)
You're friends with regulus then?
Lily 🌺 (13:40)
Yeahhh
Mary ucla (13:40)
Nice
Mary ucla (13:40)
My friend Marlene has met him
Mary ucla (13:41)
She got a barty
Lily 🌺 (13:41)
LMAOO SHE GOT BARTY
Lily 🌺 (13:41)
Barty deserves a stay away danger sign on his back
Mary ucla (13:41)
Lol so does Marlene
Lily 🌺 (13:41)
Sounds like a perfect match
Mary ucla (13:42)
I agree
Mary ucla (13:42)
So what do you study
Lily 🌺 (13:42)
I study PPL
Lily 🌺 (13:42)
Which is a trilogy of subjects and after 1st year you pick only two to continue
Lily 🌺 (13:43)
It's psychology, philosophy and linguistics, and I picked psychology and philosophy, and I'm also gonna do a fourth year in psychology
Mary ucla (13:43)
Wow that's nice
Mary ucla (13:43)
So that's more of a theoretical rather than scientific psychology
Lily 🌺 (13:44)
Yesss exactly
Lily 🌺 (13:44)
And what do you study
Mary ucla (13:44)
I do film and television
Mary ucla (13:45)
I'm really into acting and directing
Lily 🌺 (13:45)
Oh wow now I'm kinda jealous
Lily 🌺 (13:45)
Little me always wanted to be an actress
Mary ucla (13:46)
It's never too late to chase your dream or some other inspiring quote
Mary ucla (13:46)
You're the one who does philosophy
Lily 🌺 (13:46)
Lmao
Lily 🌺 (13:46)
You're not wrong tho
Mary ucla (13:47)
Heheh ik right never was
Lily 🌺 (13:47)
Now that was me attitude
Mary ucla (13:47)
Maybe I am you 🤪
Mary ucla (13:47)
Sorry my humor died nine years ago
Lily 🌺 (13:48)
Are you kidding you're funnier than most of my friends
Mary ucla (13:48)
Is this a compliment or are you just saying your friends have a really bad humor
Lily 🌺 (13:48)
Hmmm
Lily 🌺 (13:48)
Both
Candy ass🍬
November 13, 2025
Panda✨️💕 (13:47)
How are yalls partners
Panda✨️💕 (13:47)
Mines called Peter he's really nice
Panda✨️💕 (13:48)
He studies marine biology how cool is that
Batshit 🌿 (13:48)
I have this Marlene dorcas called hot
Wifey🎀 (13:49)
IF YOU TELL HER YOU'RE DEAD
Panda✨️💕 (13:49)
Aren't you in the lab
Wifey🎀 (13:49)
We were having a break cause why not
Wifey🎀 (13:50)
WHERE THE FUCK IS BARTY
Panda✨️💕 (13:50)
Why are you having a break you finish in 10
Evsss🦈 (13:50)
Bet he's talking with marlene he's online
Lily 🌺 (13:50)
Evs who did you get
Evsss🦈 (13:50)
A guy Remus
Evsss🦈 (13:51)
He's great he matches my freak (endlessly roasting ppl)
Batshit 🌿 (13:51)
Only you could appreciate this trait on a person
Wifey🎀 (13:51)
BARTY
Panda✨️💕 (13:52)
Aaaaaand he's gone
Wifey🎀 (13:52)
I hate him endlessly
Lily 🌺 (13:53)
Who do you have Cas
Evsss🦈 (13:54)
Maybe she's back in the lab
Batshit 🌿 (13:54)
If she's back tell me
Evsss🦈 (13:54)
Did you actually tell Marlene
Batshit 🌿 (13:55)
No but I like making her angry and then regretting it because she will kill me
Panda✨️💕 (13:55)
Summary of our lives together so far
Lily 🌺 (13:55)
Smh
Panda✨️💕 (13:55)
Wait so now either regulus or dorcas have Sirius right
Batshit 🌿 (13:56)
Lmao imagine reg gets him
Evsss🦈 (13:56)
Well he did say he will off himself
Lily 🌺 (13:56)
He said he'll fake it
Evsss🦈 (13:56)
I kept the core part
Wifey🎀 (13:58)
I got Sirius lolzzzz
Wifey🎀 (13:58)
Also the moment barty appears will be the moment he will see his life flash before his eyes
Lily 🌺 (13:59)
The bolter reference?
Reggie 🖤 (14:00)
Oh I liked that one
Lily 🌺 (14:00)
REG
Panda✨️💕 (14:00)
Who'd you get????
Reggie 🖤 (14:00)
Just left studio
Reggie 🖤 (14:01)
I'll go check
+1 213 555-0198
November 13, 2025
+1 213 555-0198 (12:34)
Hello 👋
Reg (14:02)
Hi sorry I was in class
Reg (14:02)
Are you the ucla guy
+1 213 555-0198 (14:03)
Yesss that's me 💪
+1 213 555-0198 (14:03)
I'm James btw
Reg (14:03)
Regulus
+1 213 555-0198 (14:03)
OMG I GOT THE BABY BLACK
Reg (14:04)
Ew don't call me that
+1 213 555-0198 (14:04)
Well Sirius did say you're cold af
Reg (14:04)
It's called not being annoyingly nice
+1 213 555-0198 (14:05)
Oi was that targeted
Reg (14:05)
Oi yes it was
James dumbass (14:05)
Btw everyone wanted to get you
James dumbass (14:05)
I won 😎
Reg (14:06)
I distinctly remember you
Reg (14:06)
I visited america with a friend when you and sirius were freshman
Reg (14:06)
You were getting on my nerves
James dumbass (14:06)
I take it as a compliment that you remember me
Reg (14:07)
Is it impossible for someone to insult you
James dumbass (14:07)
Probably
James dumbass (14:07)
I know you do it cause you don't want to admit you just remember me
Reg (14:07)
Off topic
Reg (14:08)
It wasn't that
James dumbass (14:08)
Okay 👉
James dumbass (14:08)
Oh you know what we should do
Reg (14:08)
Do I wanna know
James dumbass (14:09)
You listen to Arctic Monkeys?
Reg (14:09)
Off topic again
Reg (14:09)
But yeah
James dumbass (14:09)
Now I like you even more
Reg (14:09)
Not mutual
James dumbass (14:10)
Anyway as I was saying
James dumbass (14:10)
We should all make a groupchat
James dumbass (14:10)
You British guys and us Americans
Reg (14:10)
Who told you i need yet another social problem in my life
James dumbass (14:11)
Wait I'll make that I'll be back
Bubbles
November 13, 2025
James dumbass added you and 10 more to this group
Small dick (14:19)
Tf
+1 310 482-1937 (14:19)
Is this like all of us
+1 773 420-6713 (14:20)
James so would
Lils❣️ (14:20)
Wait wait everyone who speaks says name so I can save
+1 773 420-6713 (14:20)
Peter 🙃
+1 415 867-1290 (14:21)
Marlene girlboss but you can also save me as marls
Peter (14:21)
Lmao Marlene
+1 310 482-1937 (14:21)
Say names too (the brits) I'm Mary
Small dick (14:22)
Barty 👅
+1 212 555-3482 (14:22)
Did we really need to do this
Reg (14:22)
Now here's someone I agree with
Reg (14:22)
Regulus
+1 212 555-3482 (14:22)
I was actually eager to meet you I've never heard Sirius so strongly undefend someone
+1 212 555-3482 (14:23)
Remus
Reg (14:23)
I don't think that word exists
Remus (relatable) (14:23)
It doesn't but do I look like i give a fuck
Bitch brother (14:24)
Is that my brother bonding with my best friend
Bitch brother (14:24)
SIRIUS💪😎👋💪😎
James dumbass (14:24)
I thought I was your best friend…
Bitch brother (14:25)
YOU ARE JAMES IM SORRY
James dumbass (14:25)
Will we be best friends forever? 🥺
Dork (14:26)
I'm gonna throw up
Reg (14:26)
Yeah same
Bitch brother (14:26)
Till death separates us my platonic loml
Remus (relatable) (14:27)
What the fuck are you two on
Small dick (14:27)
I want it too
Marlene (14:27)
I was gone for five minutes why are you talking about coke again
Lils❣️ (14:27)
Define “again”?
Peter (14:28)
Oh you guys are down for it
Pan🍉 (14:28)
Hey guys I'm Pandora
Dork (14:28)
Dorcas
Marlene (14:28)
Wait I remember you
Dork (14:28)
Me?
Lils❣️ (14:29)
No shit sherlock
Small dick (14:29)
I accept zero accuses
Mary (14:29)
What the fuck is going on
James dumbass (14:29)
Does any of you know how many feet 1 meter is
Rosier (tragic) (14:29)
Whose idea was this
Lils❣️ (14:29)
The one who asked for the feet is James right?
Rosier (tragic) (14:30)
That sounds weird without context
Dork (14:30)
Evan omg
Remus (relatable) (14:30)
I'm just witnessing everything happening rn
Small dick (14:30)
I won't go through this without marijuana anyone interested to join
Marlene (14:31)
Me
Rosier (tragic) (14:31)
Pls me too
Pan🍉 (14:31)
No comment right here
Dork (14:31)
James did you make it with the feet
Mary (14:32)
Weird sentence #2
James dumbass (14:32)
Yeah I found this site apparently 100 meters are 3 feet?
Pan🍉 (14:32)
Nonono that's cm
Pan🍉 (14:32)
1 meter is 3.2 feet
James dumbass (14:32)
Ohhh that makes more sense
James dumbass (14:33)
Thanks pandora 😊
Pan🍉 (14:33)
No problem 👌
Mary (14:33)
That was kinda cute
Lils❣️ (14:33)
You two are so pure
Dork (14:33)
Flashbacks of pandora setting fire to my curtains while high
Remus (relatable) (14:34)
Flashbacks of James hanging Marlene on a tree when he was 12 and screaming for the plot
Pan🍉 (14:34)
HEY
James dumbass (14:34)
STOP THAT
Marlene (14:35)
Lmao I remember that day
Peter (14:35)
Maybe that's why you ended up like this
Lils❣️ (14:35)
Wait you guys know each other since then?
Marlene (14:35)
Peter you should kys
Remus (relatable) (14:36)
Marlene me Peter and James were together in middle school
Remus (relatable) (14:36)
We met Sirius and Mary in high
Lils❣️ (14:36)
Awww that's so nice
Rosier (tragic) (14:36)
Barty are you not at home
Small dick (14:36)
Come through the window you dumbass
Rosier (tragic) (14:36)
Right sorry how did I not think of that myself
Pan🍉 (14:37)
And just like that I have to do the dishes again asshole brother
Reg (14:37)
All these are giving me a headache
Reg (14:37)
Thanks James ig
Marlene (14:37)
I feel someone's not speaking but I'm not sure who
James dumbass (14:38)
I'm watching star wars
Mary (14:38)
Can I join
James dumbass (14:38)
Sure but bring food
Peter (14:39)
I'd join but i have lab in 15
Pan🍉 (14:39)
Peter wanna play roblox
Peter (14:39)
Yesss im joining
Dork (14:40)
Yeah okay bye guys
Pan🍉 (14:40)
👋
Mary (14:40)
Everyone is slowly leaving
Reg (14:41)
I wonder why
Dork (14:41)
If you don't have something nice to say don't say anything
Reg (14:41)
That would bring my complete silence
Pan🍉 (14:42)
Maybe it's for the better 😩
Bitch brother (14:42)
I second that
Reg (14:42)
No one spoke to you black
Remus (relatable) (14:42)
Black major
Lils❣️ (14:43)
Reg he called you a minor
Reg (14:43)
Is he wrong?
Reg (14:43)
Yes
Reg (14:43)
Would I correct him if he was right
Reg (14:44)
Also yes
Bitch brother (14:44)
Why are we watching your inner monologue live
Dork (14:44)
Have anything better to do?
Remus (relatable) (14:44)
Getting stoned sounds better at this point
Lils❣️ (14:45)
Ok no more drug talking for today
Lils❣️ (14:45)
Go do useful stuff everyone
Dork (14:45)
Okay Lily
Reg (14:45)
I'll go study
Remus (relatable) (14:46)
Me too ig
Marlene (14:46)
Oh you've been talking
Marlene (14:46)
I was sleeping
Marlene (14:46)
I'll continue
Dork (14:47)
Bye
Notes:
I'm trying so hard to have self control and not post all chapters at once. I started editing this on the bus and im finishing while watching basketball. If the next chapter comes in less than 48 hours pls threaten me not to post more I don't trust my impulse
Chapter 3: venting my beloved
Summary:
Lily does her social duties after 11pm
Notes:
hey there
from now on each chapter is either Lily or reg pov and this one isssssss 🥁 🥁🥁
Lily pov!!!
I love putting Mary in the spectrum guys it's my fav thing
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Panda✨️💕
November 14, 2025
Panda✨️💕 (22:36)
Lily
Panda✨️💕 (22:36)
I need help
Lily 🌺 (22:38)
Oh no
Lily 🌺 (22:38)
What's up
Panda✨️💕 (22:39)
I want to ask a guy out
Lily 🌺 (22:39)
I taught my children well with feminism
Lily 🌺 (22:39)
But context?
Panda✨️💕 (22:40)
Remember when i was telling you about this classmate of mine who helped me with an assignment and then we talked about astrology
Lily 🌺 (22:40)
Ohh right the guy with the weird name
Panda✨️💕 (22:40)
Xenophilius
Panda✨️💕 (22:41)
He's so nice and sweet and fun and genuinely the only person I have found being so invested in things that interest me and he's being so nice about it like he gives me stuff and tells me about things and once he asked me to study with him in the library
Lily 🌺 (22:41)
Damm Panda
Lily 🌺 (22:42)
Seems like you like him
Panda✨️💕 (22:42)
Yes and I want to ask him out but I'm afraid he doesn't see me like that cause he's literally friends with everyone
Lily 🌺 (22:42)
Hmm
Lily 🌺 (22:43)
Does he show the same interest to everyone tho?
Panda✨️💕 (22:43)
Idk bro maybe his attention is a passing thing
Lily 🌺 (22:43)
Hold on i have an idea
Lily 🌺 (22:43)
I know you are a straightforward person
Lily 🌺 (22:44)
But you can give him the chance to deal with it privately
Lily 🌺 (22:44)
Maybe let him borrow something and leave him a note
Panda✨️💕 (22:44)
I love you so much
Panda✨️💕 (22:45)
I'll write yes or no with a glitter pen and I'll add some stars
Lily 🌺 (22:45)
Besides who is he to reject Pandora fucking Rosier
Panda✨️💕 (22:45)
Aw lils
Panda✨️💕 (22:45)
I'll go write the note now
Panda✨️💕 (22:46)
Wish me luck for tomorrow when I give him the book
Lily 🌺 (22:46)
Good luck love you got this
Panda✨️💕 (22:46)
If he says yes I'm gonna be the only one in the group with a love life
Lily 🌺 (22:47)
Saying it like that sounds kinda sad
Panda✨️💕 (22:47)
Don't make me start playing matchmaker
Lily 🌺 (22:47)
God forbid an introvert read her books and wait till prince or princess charming finds her
Panda✨️💕 (22:48)
That's not how it works love
Lily 🌺 (22:48)
Let me believe it does 🙏
Panda✨️💕 (22:48)
Whatever lils
Panda✨️💕 (22:48)
I'm also helping out Peter with a girl
Panda✨️💕 (22:49)
She sounds like someone I would be friends with
Lily 🌺 (22:49)
How's he going?
Panda✨️💕 (22:49)
Well the situation isn't helpful
Panda✨️💕 (22:49)
They're pretty distant
Panda✨️💕 (22:50)
He's also in a situation with his ex bc she left him for a girl and now they're friends with him but she's not publicly out so everyone thinks they're still dating
Lily 🌺 (22:50)
Why is this so complicated
Panda✨️💕 (22:50)
It's life Lily
Panda✨️💕 (22:50)
Also it's not a lifestyle to look cool and extroverted and losing your shit when any dating opportunity appears
Lily 🌺 (22:51)
Targeted
Lily 🌺 (22:51)
I don't wish to continue this conversation
Panda✨️💕 (22:51)
Yeah okay
Panda✨️💕 (22:51)
But if you ever complain about your nonexistent love life to me again just know I will speak with pure honesty
Lily 🌺 (22:52)
What made you so cruel my sweet baby pandora
Panda✨️💕 (22:52)
Oh it's excitement
Panda✨️💕 (22:52)
I get judgmental and cruel when I'm excited
Panda✨️💕 (22:52)
It's because of the energy
Lily 🌺 (22:52)
I can see it in the way you type three messages each second
Panda✨️💕 (22:53)
Anyways I'll go to bed
Panda✨️💕 (22:53)
It takes me an hour to fall asleep and I need at least seven hours of sleep and I'm just in time
Panda✨️💕 (22:54)
Night lils
Lily 🌺 (22:54)
Night love
Lily 🌺 (22:54)
Cu tomorrow
Mary ucla
November 14, 2025
Lily 🌺 (22:59)
Are you by any chance awake
Mary ucla (23:00)
Ofc it's too early for me
Mary ucla (23:00)
I'm a bad girl I stay up late
Lily 🌺 (23:01)
Lolllll
Lily 🌺 (23:01)
Have time to talk maybe
Mary ucla (23:01)
Always do
Lily 🌺 (23:02)
I sound really desperate to talk (I am)
Mary ucla (23:02)
Dw I get you
Mary ucla (23:02)
Venting to strangers hits different
Lily 🌺 (23:03)
Speaking of venting do you mind
Mary ucla (23:03)
Thought you'd never ask
Lily 🌺 (23:03)
It's nothing serious just my friend is asking a boy out and I'm really happy for her but at the same time really jealous because I have no love life and I've never actually dated in my life just a thing in middle school and I generally don't dare to do things when I actually care and that makes me a bit sad because it's me and I can't change it but it's making me fall behind in life and I feel I'm missing out
Lily 🌺 (23:04)
Sorry I got carried away
Mary ucla (23:04)
Don't worry about it
Mary ucla (23:04)
First of all I get it, I had this feeling since very young except I acted on it differently
Mary ucla (23:05)
Since I was 13 everyone had these expectations from me, without even wanting it I created competition for myself and then I felt pressured to always date someone
Mary ucla (23:05)
Which I did and I always regretted it, because I am a person who always wanted to take it slow, fall in love softly and somehow everyone expected me to act like the hot bitch that flips boys like pages
Mary ucla (23:05)
It was in high school when the guy I was dating wanted to have sex
Mary ucla (23:05)
And I didn't want that, like, I wasn't even particularly interested in him, let alone sharing an experience this personal that wasn't even tempting me
Mary ucla (23:06)
For the rest of high school I had to pretend I had a boyfriend out of town just to avoid everyone, and that didn't even work properly, no one gave a shit if I cheated so they shoot their shot
Mary ucla (23:06)
I haven't dated in four years cause yes the chronic dating experience made me scared of dating
Mary ucla (23:06)
See I'm much worse than you when it comes to getting carried away
Lily 🌺 (23:07)
Wow
Lily 🌺 (23:07)
Now I feel like what I said was stupid
Mary ucla (23:07)
Hey no feelings are stupid
Mary ucla (23:08)
Also sorry for telling you all that
Lily 🌺 (23:08)
Are you kidding don't be sorry
Lily 🌺 (23:08)
I appreciate it that you told me
Lily 🌺 (23:09)
Also listening to people's feelings helps with my subject remember
Mary ucla (23:09)
Right
Lily 🌺 (23:09)
It's completely valid yk
Lily 🌺 (23:10)
You shouldn't feel guilty for not being in a relationship or try to reason it with your past experiences even if it is related because you absolutely have the right not to want a relationship now or ever
Lily 🌺 (23:10)
I'm just making sure you are feeling well with yourself bc yeah that's just what I do
Mary ucla (23:10)
Thank you
Mary ucla (23:11)
Like really
Mary ucla (23:11)
I usually feel shit when explaining this and get answers that make me regret sharing
Mary ucla (23:11)
You actually made me feel much better
Lily 🌺 (23:12)
Nothing I like to hear more
Mary ucla (23:13)
You'd make a perfect psychologist
Lily 🌺 (23:13)
Stop I'm blushing
Mary ucla (23:13)
Am I making you flustered little girl
Lily 🌺 (23:14)
Omg stopppp🤭
Mary ucla (23:14)
Lols
Mary ucla (23:14)
You're the nicest online friend I've ever had
Lily 🌺 (23:15)
How bad were they
Mary ucla (23:15)
Not half bad you're just better
Lily 🌺 (23:15)
Awww
Lily 🌺 (23:16)
And we've been talking for barely two days
Mary ucla (23:16)
What's your zodiac sign
Lily 🌺 (23:16)
Aquarius
Mary ucla (23:17)
Righttt makes much sense
Mary ucla (23:17)
I'm a Sagittarius
Lily 🌺 (23:17)
Yayyy we're compatible!
Mary ucla (23:18)
😊😊😊
Mary ucla (23:18)
SHIT
Mary ucla (23:18)
Okay this is gonna sound a lot like an excuse to leave but it's true
Mary ucla (23:19)
I sort of have an assignment due 12 which I totally forgot
Lily 🌺 (23:19)
FUCKING SHIT GO DO IT
Lily 🌺 (23:19)
And I don't want to see you online before I get a screenshot with the assignment submitted
Mary ucla (23:20)
Lol okay 🫡
Reggie 🖤
November 14, 2025
Reggie 🖤 (23:18)
Who are you online with
Lily 🌺 (23:21)
Mary
Lily 🌺 (23:21)
Worried I'm secretly dating someone?
Reggie 🖤 (23:22)
Who will fake girlfriend me when I need it if you get a partner
Lily 🌺 (23:22)
Maybe you are old enough to have someone actually boyfriend you
Reggie 🖤 (23:22)
Shut up you're as single as I am
Lily 🌺 (23:23)
You can't prove that
Reggie 🖤 (23:23)
We both know that though
Lily 🌺 (23:23)
Quick question
Lily 🌺 (23:24)
Is there a particular reason we are no longer invited when Barty and Evan hang out BY THEMSELVES
Reggie 🖤 (23:24)
I'll let you answer that question by yourself
Lily 🌺 (23:24)
They're dating
Reggie 🖤 (23:25)
Now that's too far
Reggie 🖤 (23:25)
They obviously fancy each other
Reggie 🖤 (23:25)
They think the other one doesn't
Reggie 🖤 (23:26)
Maybe they haven't fully accepted it themselves
Reggie 🖤 (23:26)
They also think we have no idea
Lily 🌺 (23:26)
You are so alpha sigma observer Reg
Reggie 🖤 (23:27)
Pffft (yes I am)
Lily 🌺 (23:27)
So we wait till they drunk kiss and get slapped by the mutual emotions and reality?
Reggie 🖤 (23:27)
Pretty much
Reggie 🖤 (23:28)
Okay what kind of emotional abuse is is that
Reggie 🖤 (23:28)
This song (i mean the song) started playing
Lily 🌺 (23:28)
Aaaand now it's playing in my head
Lily 🌺 (23:29)
Wait I'll go get my headphones
Reggie 🖤 (23:29)
Wanna jam
Lily 🌺 (23:29)
Yesssss
Reggie 🖤 (23:30)
Only if I'm hosting
Lily 🌺 (23:30)
Sure
Lily 🌺 (23:30)
Oh btw I'm going bookstore hunt tomorrow
Reggie 🖤 (23:30)
I'm already in the plans
Reggie 🖤 (23:31)
What time
Lily 🌺 (23:31)
I'm thinking six
Lily 🌺 (23:31)
I'll pick you up
Reggie 🖤 (23:31)
Yay
Reggie 🖤 (23:32)
So what's with Mary
Lily 🌺 (23:32)
Oh nothing much
Lily 🌺 (23:32)
We were pretty much venting to each other
Lily 🌺 (23:33)
I'm surprised of how she shared things with me, she doesn't seem like the person who says thing this easily
Reggie 🖤 (23:33)
You have this effect on people
Reggie 🖤 (23:33)
You make them want to tell you what they feel
Lily 🌺 (23:34)
This feels precious
Lily 🌺 (23:34)
I never noticed before
Reggie 🖤 (23:34)
You thought everyone randomly lets out their emotions to anyone
Lily 🌺 (23:34)
…yeah
Reggie 🖤 (23:35)
Well some people do but not like this
Reggie 🖤 (23:35)
You just do your thing
Lily 🌺 (23:35)
Aw Reggie
Reggie 🖤 (23:36)
Don't you Reggie me because I said something nice
Reggie 🖤 (23:36)
I'm not willing to make it personal
Lily 🌺 (23:36)
Lmao okay love
Lily 🌺 (23:36)
Even if I get a partner I'll still fake girlfriend you
Reggie 🖤 (23:37)
Thanks?
Lily 🌺 (23:37)
SERIOUSLY REG
Lily 🌺 (23:37)
FUCKING MOVIES
Reggie 🖤 (23:38)
That's my mood rn okay
Reggie 🖤 (23:38)
To be my friend you are to accept me the way I am
Lily 🌺 (23:39)
Blackmailing
Lily 🌺 (23:39)
Oh someone's texting in the big group chat
Reggie 🖤 (23:39)
And you feel the irresistible urge to reply?
Lily 🌺 (23:40)
Yep
Reggie 🖤 (23:40)
Thought so
Bubbles
November 14, 2025
Marlene (23:39)
Anyone awake
Evsss🦈 (23:40)
Obviously 🙄
Marlene (23:40)
What's your deepest secret
Evsss🦈 (23:40)
No
Lily 🌺 (23:41)
Lolll evan
Lily 🌺 (23:41)
Do I know
Evsss🦈 (23:41)
I refuse to continue this conversation
Marlene (23:42)
I need gossip plz 🙏
Batshit 🌿 (23:42)
I'll tell you in private it involves ppl here
Marlene (23:43)
Tehehhee okay
Wifey🎀 (23:43)
YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AND DISAPPEAR
Reggie 🖤 (23:43)
If he was here he'd tell you watch me which is what you're doing rn
Lily 🌺 (23:43)
Where did dorcas spawn from anyway
Peter (23:44)
They're gossiping without me?
Wifey🎀 (23:44)
Yall ever heard of something called mind your own fucking business
Evsss🦈 (23:44)
Acting like you didn't put a glass to the door of the girl that lives next to you to listen to her arguing with her boyfriend
Wifey🎀 (23:45)
Evan this isn't about you
Evsss🦈 (23:45)
I was actually talking about you
Reggie 🖤 (23:45)
Determined to get on her nerves?
Wifey🎀 (23:46)
Shut the fuck up both of you
Batshit 🌿 (23:46)
Are you on your period or something
Lily 🌺 (23:46)
OHHH MY GOD YOU ARE SO DEAD
Wifey🎀 (23:46)
BARTY THATS IT IM TRACKING YOUR LOCATION
Evsss🦈 (23:47)
They both went offline
Peter (23:47)
Anyone care to explain?
Lily 🌺 (23:47)
Well the past days barty has been walking on a thin line
Evsss🦈 (23:48)
That was kind of a checkmate move
Peter (23:48)
So he's sort of dead now?
Reggie 🖤 (23:48)
Remove sort of and you got it
Marlene (23:49)
Sup guys barty went offline so I'm sticking with you now
Evsss🦈 (23:49)
You're probably sticking with us forever
Marlene (23:49)
Huh
Evsss🦈 (23:49)
Nothing important
Lily 🌺 (23:50)
Off topic but Marlene what do you study
Marlene (23:50)
Nursing 😆
Evsss🦈 (23:50)
You give the vibe
Marlene (23:51)
Doctor aren't you
Evsss🦈 (23:51)
Medical biology so pretty much
Marlene (23:51)
And you Lily
Lily 🌺 (23:52)
PPL and this year psychology and philosophy
Marlene (23:52)
Nicee
Marlene (23:52)
Regulus sirius told us you study art
Reggie 🖤 (23:53)
Fine art yes
Reggie 🖤 (23:53)
I'm impressed he remembers
Peter (23:53)
Don't say that he talks about you all the time
Evsss🦈 (23:54)
Aww that's actually nice
Reggie 🖤 (23:54)
I know he talks shit about me and I couldn't care less
Lily 🌺 (23:54)
Ever considered he actually cares and talks about you because he misses you
Reggie 🖤 (23:55)
Ew
Evsss🦈 (23:55)
Lily don't tell regulus about feelings he's allergic
Reggie 🖤 (23:55)
Fuck you Rosier
Evsss🦈 (23:56)
No thanks 😇
Marlene (23:56)
Bruh I can't
Mary 🏹
November 14, 2025
Mary 🏹 (23:57)
I DID ITTTT
Mary 🏹 (23:57)
(Insert picture)
Lily 🌺 (23:57)
Knew you'd do it 😩😩😩
Mary 🏹 (23:58)
Why are you spamming the group chat
Lily 🌺 (23:58)
We have nothing better to do
Mary 🏹 (23:58)
Maybe sleep idk
Lily 🌺 (23:58)
Says the girl who submitted a project due midnight at eleven fifty seven
Mary 🏹 (23:59)
Mean
Mary 🏹 (23:59)
I have undiagnosed long term memory loss okay
Mary 🏹 (23:59)
I keep forgetting stuff
Lily 🌺 (23:59)
Adhd?
November 15, 2025
Mary 🏹 (00:00)
Idk bro
Mary 🏹 (00:00)
Oooh gm 😊
Lily 🌺 (00:00)
Lol morning
Lily 🌺 (00:00)
🌄
Mary 🏹 (00:01)
Yk we should sleep
Mary 🏹 (00:01)
That's my suggestion
Lily 🌺 (00:01)
It sounds tempting ngl
Lily 🌺 (00:02)
I'll watch a movie and fall asleep eventually
Mary 🏹 (00:02)
Good luck with that
Mary 🏹 (00:02)
I'll just close my eyes
Lily 🌺 (00:02)
Lol okay
Lily 🌺 (00:03)
Nighttt
Mary 🏹 (00:03)
Goodnight🌠
Notes:
So I am in fact writing 2 months in the future, idk about people reading this after november 2025 but yeah I hope nothing major happened in these 2 months (if Trump dies I'll edit to include it)
Chapter 4: fucking creepypasta
Summary:
Jegulus at 3am, yapping about xeno, jegulus again but at 1pm
Notes:
Reggie pov yayyy
I wrote this chapter at the beach btw
Chat gpt will never heal from the passive aggressive NCAA basketball questions and so won't my brain but nothing is useless right?
As I was editing this chapter ao3 refreshed and after getting over the manic episode I had to redo the whole thing so yeah just know any mistakes are out of pure disrespect for the lack of auto save
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
James dumbass
November 16, 2025
James dumbass (02:43)
Regulus
James dumbass (02:43)
Pls pls pls you're my last hope
Reg (02:44)
Potter what the fuck
James dumbass (02:44)
Thank God 😩😩😩
James dumbass (02:45)
I was watching creepypasta and now I can't sleep
James dumbass (02:45)
No one's replying 🥺
Reg (02:45)
I shouldn't have either looks like
James dumbass (02:46)
DON'T LEAVE ME NOW PLEASE
Reg (02:46)
I'm not this cruel
Reg (02:47)
Besides I wasn't doing anything and I'm not even a little sleepy
James dumbass (02:47)
Thank you so much I love you
Reg (02:47)
Too far
James dumbass (02:48)
Sorry
Reg (02:48)
Which creepypasta were you watching
James dumbass (02:48)
The Serbian lady dancing and the blank room soup
Reg (02:49)
Yeah I remember watching those when I was like twelve and bored
James dumbass (02:49)
WHAT
James dumbass (02:49)
I would have cried for a solid 5 hours
Reg (02:49)
It shaped me into the man I am today (I listen to true crime podcasts)
James dumbass (02:50)
How are you not scared
Reg (02:50)
You shouldn't be scared either you are a grown man and creepypasta is fake
James dumbass (02:50)
You can't know that
Reg (02:51)
Yes I can it's common sense
James dumbass (02:51)
Well guess I don't have that
James dumbass (02:52)
Will you tell me something funny to feel better
Reg (02:52)
You could ask any person for that and you chose me
James dumbass (02:52)
Well it wasn't much of a choice
James dumbass (02:52)
Pleeeeeassseeee tell me anything
Reg (02:53)
Fine
Reg (02:53)
I'll tell you about something Sirius once did
James dumbass (02:53)
Yayyyy
Reg (02:54)
When we were little our parents were overly protective towards their phones
Reg (02:54)
They were probably both cheating
James dumbass (02:54)
Lmaoo go on
Reg (02:55)
Once when we were like nine our mum left her phone on the counter unlocked
Reg (02:55)
And being so close to something forbidden is tempting, let alone when you are Sirius Orion Black, for him resistance is some jane austen novel
James dumbass (02:55)
LMAOOO
Reg (02:56)
So he did get mum's phone and the fucking idiot he is, he texted mom's boss some inappropriate emojis, he set five alarms for the next 4 nights of the week, he ordered 6 vacuum cleaners from Amazon and changed the language to Taiwanese
James dumbass (02:57)
AHAHAHG BRO
Reg (02:57)
It took a solid two weeks to settle it back to normal, and the longest part was changing the language back
James dumbass (02:57)
What did your mom do?
Reg (02:57)
Sirius hid in the dog's house for three hours, I hid in the closet for one hour because if she didn't find sirius she'd blame me, we went to sleep without eating dinner and the next day at breakfast she shouted at us for one and a half hour, and hit Sirius with a metal hanger when she saw him again
James dumbass (02:58)
I'm adopting the both of you
Reg (02:58)
Nah thanks I'm good on my own
James dumbass (02:58)
Generally?
Reg (02:59)
What do you mean
James dumbass (02:59)
On your own physically or on your own without other people in your life
Reg (02:59)
Why did we switch from comforting you after shitty creepypasta to talking about feelings
James dumbass (03:00)
I'm deadass bored
James dumbass (03:00)
I also have a game tomorrow
Reg (03:01)
You idiot go sleep
James dumbass (03:01)
Oh my god regulus
James dumbass (03:01)
Am I dreaming?
James dumbass (03:01)
YOU CARE ABOUT ME???
Reg (03:02)
No I don't piss off
James dumbass (03:02)
No 🤭
James dumbass (03:02)
Btw I don't give a shit it's non conference
James dumbass (03:02)
We're playing with the Gauchos
Reg (03:03)
I'm gonna nod pretending to understand
James dumbass (03:03)
From uni of California
James dumbass (03:03)
It's a stupid game honestly
James dumbass (03:04)
Honestly I value this conversation more
Reg (03:04)
Oh
James dumbass (03:04)
You're breaking character love
Reg (03:04)
1)
Reg (03:04)
I hate you
Reg (03:05)
2)
Reg (03:05)
Don't call me love
James dumbass (03:05)
Any particular reason
Reg (03:06)
It's weird
James dumbass (03:06)
Oh darling you're starved from emotion
James dumbass (03:06)
Want to talk about it
Reg (03:06)
This is literally the opposite of what I said
Reg (03:07)
And I'm not doing deep talks with a stranger
James dumbass (03:07)
Hey I'm not a stranger
James dumbass (03:07)
We met when you and the other girl visited Sirius remember?
Reg (03:08)
A truly remarkable interaction
Reg (03:08)
But I don’t care it doesn't count
James dumbass (03:08)
Yes it does 🙃
Reg (03:08)
My point is you are not calling me love
James dumbass (03:09)
Okay I won't call you love again
James dumbass (03:09)
But I will call you other things
Reg (03:09)
That sounded nasty but I know that no way it was your intention so I'm just gonna brush it off
James dumbass (03:10)
Awww you called me pure
James dumbass (03:10)
(I'm not)
Reg (03:10)
How am I supposed to react
James dumbass (03:11)
Nvm
James dumbass (03:11)
Anyway I'll go sleep thanks tons
Reg (03:11)
Didn't do much tbh
Reg (03:12)
Ur welcome
James dumbass (03:12)
You should sleep too
James dumbass (03:12)
Goodnight regulus
Reg (03:13)
How did this not come with any pet name
James dumbass (03:13)
Cus you didn't like them?
Reg (03:13)
Lmao your boundaries are stronger than your rizz
James dumbass (03:14)
Huh
James dumbass (03:14)
That's gonna keep me up all night thanks ig
James dumbass (03:14)
And you won't be able to get rid of me then
James dumbass (03:14)
Jk I'll actually go sleep
Reg (03:15)
Night James
James dumbass (03:15)
😗😗😗
Bubbles
November 16, 2025
Dork (12:49)
Fuck this
Small dick (12:50)
Fuck what?
Rosier (tragic) (12:50)
You two talk?
Pan🍉 (12:51)
Barty is alive?
Bitch brother (12:51)
What are we talking about
Remus (relatable) (12:51)
Sirius get off my foot now
Peter (12:52)
Why did this have to be a public announcement
Dork (12:52)
What's with Barty being dead
Marlene (12:53)
You threatened to kill him
Dork (12:53)
Shut up McKinnon
Marlene (12:53)
Or what Meadowes
Lils❣️ (12:54)
Okay enough of that 👍
Rosier (tragic) (12:54)
You act like long hated rivals
Bitch brother (12:54)
It's fun don't stop
Reg (12:55)
I'd like to see what it is like to have your energy
Pan🍉 (12:55)
IM GOING ON A DATE TODAY
Lils❣️ (12:55)
OMG
Dork (12:56)
WITH WHO
Rosier (tragic) (12:56)
PANDORA ADDRESS PHONE NUMBER WHO THE FUCK
Lils❣️ (12:56)
EVAN CHILL
James dumbass (12:56)
WHY ARE WE ALL SHOUTING
Pan🍉 (12:57)
BECAUSE IM GOING ON A DATEEEE
Peter (12:57)
YESS PANDA LETS GOOO
Marlene (12:57)
Congrats Pandora!!!
Marlene (12:57)
Hope he's not a dick💖💖💖
Pan🍉 (12:58)
Oh he's not he's my soulmate
Rosier (tragic) (12:58)
WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY
Reg (12:58)
Why am I always the last to know
Pan🍉 (12:59)
Reggie you're not!!! Only Lily knew I asked him out actually
Rosier (tragic) (12:59)
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS
Small dick (12:59)
Panda I'm happy for you even if I have no idea who the guy is
Small dick (12:59)
I wish I could go on a date with my crush too
Dork (13:00)
Barty this isn't about you
Lils❣️ (13:00)
Idea
Lils❣️ (13:00)
How about we don't spam this group chat and we go to the strictly British one?
Reg (13:00)
Couldn't agree more
Pan🍉 (13:01)
👍
Candy ass🍬
November 16, 2025
Pan🍉 (13:01)
SO reg remember when I told you about the astronomy guy
Reg (13:02)
Ohhh the Xenophilius one
Dork (13:02)
Rightttttt he sounded nice
Rosier (tragic) (13:02)
Pandora who is he tell me the second
Lils❣️ (13:02)
What did he say did he get the note?
Small dick (13:03)
Are you talking about the guy I called a twink
Pan🍉 (13:03)
Yes that one
Small dick (13:03)
You know I didn't mean it disrespectfully right
Small dick (13:04)
I like twinks
Small dick (13:04)
Anyway if he does anything to you I'll get rid of the body no one will know
Pan🍉 (13:04)
Aw thanks Bat but he is the most unproblematic guy ever
Rosier (tragic) (13:04)
If I pay others to ask you will you stop ignoring me
Pan🍉 (13:05)
So I left him a note in a book asking him out the other day
Rosier (tragic) (13:05)
I guess no
Pan🍉 (13:05)
And today when we met he showed me the note and he had circled yes and put a heart next to it and he said he knows a place so he's picking me up today at 6
Lils❣️ (13:06)
Omggg Panda
Dork (13:06)
I'm so happy for you gurlllll
Reg (13:06)
Good luck on your date (as Barty said if he does anything he is dead)
Small dick (13:06)
I think we got him either way he's a twink
Reg (13:07)
Is there any particular problem with twinks
Lils❣️ (13:07)
Reggie love he didn't mean it like that
Small dick (13:07)
Lily is right
Small dick (13:07)
I agree with Lily
Dork (13:08)
Memorize that and you're never losing an argument
Rosier (tragic) (13:08)
Pandora 😃
Pan🍉 (13:08)
Evan 😃
Rosier (tragic) (13:08)
What time is your date picking you up I want a word with him
Pan🍉 (13:09)
Argdh evan plz don't embarrass me
Rosier (tragic) (13:09)
I'm looking after you
Lils❣️(13:09)
Awwww you're cuties
Pan🍉 (13:09)
Evan I'm very serious don't embarrass me
Small dick (13:10)
Evan wanna play Mario cart
Rosier (tragic) (13:10)
Yes please
Reg (13:10)
And i suppose it's a single invitation
Small dick (13:10)
Thought you hated anything other than fortnite
Lils❣️ (13:11)
Missing the point part 3828
Dork (13:11)
Let's focus on one love life at a time what do you say
Small dick (13:11)
What is this supposed to mean
Lils❣️ (13:12)
Bless the brains that got you in Oxford
Reg (13:12)
Lils is our date still on?
Lils❣️ (13:12)
Of course my love I'll pick you up at 6
Pan🍉 (13:13)
If you spy on me I will 😄🪚 you
Reg (13:13)
Oh please we have a life Panda
Lils❣️ (13:13)
We're gonna get books 😊
Dork (13:13)
You are all leaving me alone again then?
Rosier (tragic) (13:14)
You have tutorials at the lab at 6 30 Cas
Dork (13:14)
Oops I forgot
Dork (13:14)
Well either way
Pan🍉 (13:14)
Will you come by at 5 to help me pick what to wear?
Dork (13:15)
Yessss
Rosier (tragic) (13:15)
Pick something subtle pls
Small dick (13:15)
Evan leave your sister be and do me the honor of leaving my room and come to play
Dork (13:16)
I'll go study now (something that none of you do but anyway)
Lils❣️ (13:16)
Actually I'll study now too
Lils❣️ (13:16)
Bye guys 🙂
Pan🍉 (13:16)
I'll go write fanfiction 😇
James dumbass
November 16, 2025
Reg (13:19)
What time is your game?
James dumbass (13:19)
Hello to you too
James dumbass (13:19)
You texted first 😏
Reg (13:19)
You replied in half a second
James dumbass (13:20)
Is this a competition on who cares the least
James dumbass (13:20)
At least I'm mature enough to admit that I don't hate you and I care
Reg (13:20)
First of all we know I care the least
Reg (13:20)
Second of all why do you care
James dumbass (13:21)
You are fun
James dumbass (13:21)
In a different kind of way
James dumbass (13:21)
I like it
James dumbass (13:22)
Game is at 6 30
James dumbass (13:22)
Fancy coming
Reg (13:22)
No
Reg (13:22)
I also have plans so also no
James dumbass (13:23)
Hmmm double date with pandora but you won't tell because you don't want sirius to know
James dumbass (13:23)
Who's the lucky girl
Reg (13:23)
No
Reg (13:23)
And I'm gay
James dumbass (13:24)
WHAT
James dumbass (13:24)
Okay it's not respectful to make homophobic jokes
Reg (13:24)
James oh my god
Reg (13:24)
How straight am I to you
James dumbass (13:25)
You're actually gay?
James dumbass (13:25)
Like fancying dudes gay
Reg (13:25)
I'm starting to get offended now
James dumbass (13:26)
Well your parents did 2/2
James dumbass (13:26)
Lmao
Reg (13:26)
You just laughed at your own joke
James dumbass (13:27)
You just told me you're gay let me process this information
Reg (13:27)
You have a ridiculously bad gaydar
James dumbass (13:27)
Marlene says that too
James dumbass (13:28)
She on the other hand
James dumbass (13:28)
She always gets it
Reg (13:28)
McKinnons a lesbian right
James dumbass (13:28)
Yuppers
Reg (13:29)
They have the best gaydar
James dumbass (13:29)
I'll keep that information
James dumbass (12:29)
Anyway, what are your plans?
Reg (13:29)
Our conversations look like the thought path of a person with adhd
James dumbass (13:30)
I have that
James dumbass (13:30)
Lolz
Reg (13:30)
Well it is kinda noticeable
James dumbass (13:31)
I will NOT forget what I wanted to say
James dumbass (13:31)
What are your plans
Reg (13:31)
I'm going out with Lily we're going on some bookstores
James dumbass (13:32)
That's so pinterest
James dumbass (13:32)
Also yesterday Mary studied with me in the library and I had to listen to her yap about Lily the whole time
Reg (13:32)
Cute
Reg (13:33)
Should I tell Lily
James dumbass (13:33)
Preferably no
James dumbass (13:33)
Mary might kill me
Reg (13:34)
That makes telling her an option but lucky you I won't
James dumbass (12:34)
Yayy another day I survive Regulus Black's rage
Reg (13:34)
Might be the last but why spoiler it to you
James dumbass (13:35)
That was in character well done reg
Reg (13:35)
Thanks I guess?
James dumbass (13:35)
FUCK IM LATE
James dumbass (13:36)
Ttyl Reggie
Reg (13:36)
Oh okay
Reg (13:36)
Bye
Reg (13:37)
DONT CALL ME REGGIE
Notes:
The jegulus convo in the end had the adhd mention just bc mine took over and i was struggling to keep on subject lol
Next is Lily pov (obv) with a surprise pov of someone else stay tuned
Chapter 5: I know her star sign, I know her mbti type
Summary:
Lily and mary talk about their zodiacs and mbti types, Lily gay panics and we get moonrose friendship
Notes:
Lily pov as I mentioned AND an evan pov tehehehehe
It's only 1 30am it's practically an invitation at this point 👉
I need to move with the days I want to go through months and the chapters are ending up being one fucking day. I'll do a mutant of “in medias res” called I explain things an eternity after they happened and it's obvious that's the only purpose of the conversation
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Mary 🏹
November 19, 2025
Lily 🌺 (21:03)
What's your mbti type?
Mary 🏹 (21:03)
My what
Lily 🌺 (21:04)
There's this thing
Lily 🌺 (21:04)
It's basically a personality label assigned to you based on 4 traits about yourself
Lily 🌺 (21:04)
Introversion or extroversion, sensing or intuition, thinking or feeling and judging or perceiving
Lily 🌺 (21:04)
I'm an infj
Mary 🏹 (21:05)
That sounds more reliable than zodiacs
Lily 🌺 (21:05)
It isssss
Lily 🌺 (21:05)
Would you maybe
Mary 🏹 (21:05)
Yes I want to do the quiz
Lily 🌺 (21:06)
YAYYY
Lily 🌺 (21:06)
insert link
Mary 🏹 (21:06)
I'll go do it brb
Mary 🏹 (21:11)
It says ENTP
Mary 🏹 (21:11)
Why is the description so accurate wtf
Lily 🌺 (21:11)
Yep my reaction exactly
Lily 🌺 (21:11)
And yes you look like an entp to me
Mary 🏹 (21:12)
Well I did something new today
Lily 🌺 (21:12)
Hehehe
Mary 🏹 (21:12)
Any other core ideas of things I could try because I don't want to study and I want to reason it with an activity?
Lily 🌺 (21:13)
Hmmm
Lily 🌺 (21:13)
Start duolingo?
Mary 🏹 (21:13)
You mean the cursed green bird who threatens to kill you if you don't do a lesson?
Lily 🌺 (21:14)
Oh come onnn this is overreaction
Mary 🏹 (21:14)
I trust you
Mary 🏹 (21:14)
But I don't have the necessary amount of will for that
Lily 🌺 (21:14)
Valid
Lily 🌺 (21:15)
I want to go to London but I'm REALLY bored
Mary 🏹 (21:15)
Dude it's unfair you are like a few minutes away from London
Lily 🌺 (21:15)
It's actually 2 hours
Mary 🏹 (21:15)
Still
Mary 🏹 (21:16)
I went to London with my family when I was 14
Mary 🏹 (21:16)
It's the most perfect place ever
Lily 🌺 (21:16)
Okay I agree to that
Lily 🌺 (21:16)
I grew up in Nottingham and I remember how I always looked forward to our monthly trip to London
Lily 🌺 (21:17)
It's perfect
Mary 🏹 (21:17)
When I was a teenager I used to say I'll go to England to study and I'll live in London
Mary 🏹 (21:17)
But then I grew up and I was forced to become a realist
Lily 🌺 (21:18)
Here's an idea
Lily 🌺 (21:18)
You're gonna visit England and I'll take you to London
Mary 🏹 (21:18)
OMG YES
Lily 🌺 (21:18)
🙃🙃🙃
Lily 🌺 (21:19)
Can I visit too?
Mary 🏹 (21:19)
Yessss we'll go to new York
Lily 🌺 (21:19)
YAYYYY
Mary 🏹 (21:19)
Can't wait to see London and Oxford
Mary 🏹 (21:20)
And you
Lily 🌺 (21:20)
Can't wait to see you either
Lily 🌺 (21:20)
OR NYC
Mary 🏹 (21:20)
It's been waiting for you ✨️
Lily 🌺 (21:21)
YOU LISTEN TO TAYLOR
Mary 🏹 (21:21)
Just a little bit
Mary 🏹 (21:21)
You're a swiftie?
Lily 🌺 (21:22)
Yessss 💪💪💪
Mary 🏹 (21:22)
Oh my god that reminded me of James
Mary 🏹 (21:22)
He sends this emoji too much
Lily 🌺 (21:23)
I like him
Lily 🌺 (21:23)
He seems really nice
Lily 🌺 (21:23)
Very unproblematic for a straight guy
Mary 🏹 (21:24)
James is a walking green flag
Mary 🏹 (21:24)
Also I don't think he's straight
Lily 🌺 (21:24)
Really?
Mary 🏹 (21:24)
Yeah
Mary 🏹 (21:25)
First of all he has SUCH a good style
Mary 🏹 (21:25)
Second of all he flirts with everything that walks
Mary 🏹 (21:25)
Third we were watching little women and he wouldn't shut up about how cute Laurie is
Mary 🏹 (21:25)
He generally yaps about guy actors when we watch stuff
Mary 🏹 (21:26)
He also listens to fucking 70s music
Mary 🏹 (21:26)
Queen and shit
Lily 🌺 (21:26)
Okay all that is queer culture
Lily 🌺 (21:26)
God I love him
Mary 🏹 (21:27)
He's great
Mary 🏹 (21:27)
He plays for the ucla bruins
Mary 🏹 (21:27)
Basketball
Lily 🌺 (21:28)
Wowwww
Mary 🏹 (21:28)
Okay enough with talking about James
Lily 🌺 (21:28)
Lols
Mary 🏹 (21:29)
Apart from taylor what else do you listen
Lily 🌺 (21:29)
Well regulus has put me head first into conan gray
Mary 🏹 (21:29)
Oooh I think Peter listens to him
Mary 🏹 (21:30)
I don't think I've ever listened to any of his songs 🫠
Lily 🌺 (21:30)
I got u
Lily 🌺 (21:30)
I will force conehead you
Mary 🏹 (21:31)
You what
Lily 🌺 (21:31)
Shhh don't mind me
Lily 🌺 (21:31)
I assign you to listen to…
Lily 🌺 (21:32)
Alley rose!!!
Mary 🏹 (21:32)
Mmm okay
Mary 🏹 (21:32)
I'll listen to it on my way to practicals for which I have to leave now
Lily 🌺 (21:33)
You have practicals at 9 pm?
Mary 🏹 (21:33)
IM NOT EVEN KIDDING
Mary 🏹 (21:33)
(Insert screenshot)
Lily 🌺 (21:33)
Well fucking shit
Mary 🏹 (21:34)
I know
Mary 🏹 (21:34)
Anyway I gtg
Mary 🏹 (21:34)
Cu lils
Lily 🌺 (21:34)
Bye
Batshit 🌿
November 20, 2025
Lily 🌺 (07:23)
Barty
Batshit 🌿 (07:24)
What the fuck
Lily 🌺 (07:24)
I overthink
Batshit 🌿 (07:25)
No fucking shit
Batshit 🌿 (07:25)
Can you be more specific
Lily 🌺 (07:25)
Is it purely platonic to blush when they call you Lils and think about it all night even if you don't know the person
Batshit 🌿 (07:26)
Well look you took the wrong person to help you define the line between friendship and crush
Batshit 🌿 (07:26)
But
Batshit 🌿 (07:26)
I say get to know whoever the fuck this is and you will either develop an actual crush on them or the whole thing will just fade and you'll get casual
Lily 🌺 (07:27)
Hmm okay
Lily 🌺 (07:27)
I also promised that person to take them to London and they promised to take me to New York and we also had a deep talk with that person
Lily 🌺 (07:27)
In the span of 8 days
Batshit 🌿 (07:27)
That's Mary isn't it
Lily 🌺 (07:28)
I don't know it just makes me happy
Batshit 🌿 (07:28)
You have to stop getting attached for your own good
Lily 🌺 (07:28)
That was very mature coming from you
Batshit 🌿 (07:28)
I'm feeling smart
Lily 🌺 (07:29)
…okay
Batshit 🌿 (07:29)
Question
Batshit 🌿 (07:29)
Why are you awake
Lily 🌺 (07:30)
Dorcas felt like waking up at 6 to finish an assignment and who am I to object
Batshit 🌿 (07:30)
And why are YOU awake
Lily 🌺 (07:30)
Because yes
Batshit 🌿 (07:30)
Okay
Lily 🌺 (07:31)
Why are you awake
Batshit 🌿 (07:31)
Not sure
Lily 🌺 (07:31)
Why am I trying to make sense
Lily 🌺 (07:31)
I'll go take a walk
Batshit 🌿 (07:32)
If you pass my house and see me toasting marshmallows in a fire on my window no you didn’t
Lily 🌺 (07:32)
Life is never boring with you
Batshit 🌿 (07:32)
Thanks
Panda✨️💕
November 20, 2025
Panda✨️💕 (16:10)
Lilssss
Lily 🌺 (16:10)
Si
Panda✨️💕 (16:11)
Xeno asked me on another date!
Lily 🌺 (16:11)
OMGGG
Panda✨️💕 (16:11)
I can't wait the first one was perfect he took me to this absolutely perfect Cafe with the star ceiling and the cute lights and then we walked to the park and watched the sunset and talked about stuff for hours it was absolutely perfect
Lily 🌺 (16:12)
I know Panda
Lily 🌺 (16:12)
You described it in person twice because just before you were done telling me dorcas came and you started all over
Panda✨️💕 (16:12)
I know but omg I wonder what he has in mind this time
Panda✨️💕 (16:13)
Do you think we might kiss this time
Lily 🌺 (16:13)
I reckon you will
Panda✨️💕 (16:13)
Oh I hope
Panda✨️💕 (16:14)
I'm so happy lils
Lily 🌺 (16:14)
I gotta meet your boyfriend and thank him
Panda✨️💕 (16:14)
He's not my boyfriend yet
Lily 🌺 (16:15)
He will be soooonnnn
Panda✨️💕 (16:15)
Also one summer I really wanna do this thing and and go with the flow and travel the world without really minding where I have to go next and yeah
Lily 🌺 (16:15)
That doesn't sound so safe
Panda✨️💕 (16:15)
I'll make it 🙃
Lily 🌺 (16:16)
It was a bit irrelevant to what we were saying before tbh
Panda✨️💕 (16:16)
Idc 😜🤗😜🤗😜😜🙄
Panda✨️💕 (16:16)
I'll go check on evan
Panda✨️💕 (16:17)
Okay I found him he's watching love actually
Lily 🌺 (16:17)
YESSS XMAS MOOD
Panda✨️💕 (16:17)
I can't wait for Xmas I'll die
Lily 🌺 (16:18)
Don't
Lily 🌺 (16:18)
But I get you
Panda✨️💕 (16:18)
Anyways Lils i love you but I'll go sit with evs and tell Peter about the upcoming date because he was dying to know
Lily 🌺 (16:18)
Kay Pan
Lily 🌺 (16:19)
Cu later
Panda✨️💕 (16:19)
Bb 💖💖💖
Lupin ahh shit
November 20, 2025
Lupin ahh shit (19:34)
Fuck
Evan 💫 (19:34)
Relatable
Lupin ahh shit (19:35)
I finished tutorials 9392 hours late
Evan 💫 (19:35)
Ouchies
Evan 💫 (19:35)
I'm out of fags
Lupin ahh shit (19:36)
You still have me 😊
Evan 💫 (19:36)
God Lupin I meant cigarettes
Lupin ahh shit (19:36)
I know but here they don't really use it like that
Evan 💫 (19:37)
I know how they use it
Lupin ahh shit (19:37)
It was a way too good opportunity to waste
Evan 💫 (19:37)
Whatever wolf boy
Lupin ahh shit (19:37)
…
Lupin ahh shit (19:38)
How's it going with boy
Evan 💫 (19:38)
Touché
Evan 💫 (19:38)
No
Lupin ahh shit (19:38)
Graphic
Evan 💫 (19:39)
And you
Lupin ahh shit (19:39)
Still disappointed on myself especially now that I shared
Evan 💫 (19:39)
I was pretty convinced it was impossible for anyone to actually fall in love with Reggies brother but judging based on your yapping you are an exception
Lupin ahh shit (19:40)
Could you maybe stop I hate him
Evan 💫 (19:40)
Lier lier pants on fire
Lupin ahh shit (19:40)
I would really appreciate a supportive company rn
Evan 💫 (19:41)
5 easy steps to face a pyromanic episode
Lupin ahh shit (19:41)
Okay what
Evan 💫 (19:41)
Oops this ain't wikihow
Evan 💫 (19:41)
I'm over at bartys and he's lighting up candles
Lupin ahh shit (19:42)
Is he trying to seduce you
Evan 💫 (19:42)
bloody hope not
Evan 💫 (19:42)
he just likes it
Lupin ahh shit (19:42)
You're with your crush and you're texting me
Evan 💫 (19:43)
maybe
Lupin ahh shit (19:43)
Why
Lupin ahh shit (19:43)
Just kiss him already
Evan 💫 (19:43)
like it's all easy and shit Lupin
Evan 💫 (19:44)
I hate you so much
Lupin ahh shit (19:44)
Mutual
Lupin ahh shit (19:44)
But I do appreciate your support
Evan 💫 (19:44)
I do the opposite of support but you're welcome ig
Lupin ahh shit (19:45)
Question
Evan 💫 (19:45)
ye
Lupin ahh shit (19:45)
Why is your first letter not in capital
Evan 💫 (19:45)
it pissed me off so I changed it
Lupin ahh shit (19:45)
It's bothering me but okay
Evan 💫 (19:46)
Go get your ocd checked pls
Lupin ahh shit (19:46)
No
Lupin ahh shit (19:46)
Aw look you wrote that in capital for me how cute
Evan 💫 (19:46)
no I didnt
Evan 💫 (19:46)
you're seeing things
Lupin ahh shit (19:47)
It's literally there
Evan 💫 (19:47)
no it's not
Evan 💫 (19:47)
want proof
Evan 💫 (19:48)
(Insert screenshot)
Lupin ahh shit (19:48)
Wtf
Lupin ahh shit (19:48)
Your editing skills tho
Evan 💫 (19:48)
idk what you're talking about
Lupin ahh shit (19:49)
I am not getting gaslighted by you today
Evan 💫 (19:49)
i. am. not. gashlighting. you
Lupin ahh shit (19:49)
so it normally takes you a whole minute to send a screenshot
Evan 💫 (19:49)
my phone is slow
Evan 💫 (19:50)
you're crazy
Lupin ahh shit (19:50)
I'm quitting you're insane
Evan 💫 (19:50)
my fav words to hear
Lupin ahh shit (19:50)
Go make out with your boy Evan
Evan 💫 (19:51)
not before you do with yours
Lupin ahh shit (19:51)
well for new
Lupin ahh shit (19:51)
I'm gonna go pick him up with James because he crashed a rental car against a wall
Evan 💫 (19:52)
he WHAT
Lupin ahh shit (19:52)
I can't interfere it's a canon Sirius event
Evan 💫 (19:52)
god
Evan 💫 (19:52)
what did you see in him
Lupin ahh shit (19:53)
That's what i ask myself every day
Lupin ahh shit (19:53)
Anyways gtg
Evan 💫 (19:52)
good luck with that
Lupin ahh shit (19:53)
I'll need it
Notes:
Sooooo school started and I'm out of finished chapters which means the gaps between the chapters will get gradually longer but I will try to update as frequently as possible
Mary and Lilys mbti types are entirely my point of view, opinions can vary so yeah don't get mad at me
Chapter 6: my favorite trope is leave me alone
Summary:
A bet hehehehe
Notes:
Is it short? Are the convos just long? I forgot to word count so I'll never know.
I love dorlene and i love setting them up
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Bubbles
November 23, 2025
Pan🍉 (23:44)
What's yalls fav trope?
Bitch brother (23:46)
idk friends to lovers?
Lils❣️ (23:47)
YOU DON'T PUT AN IDK NEXT TO IT FRIENDS TO LOVERS IS _THE_ TROPE
Mary (23:47)
Enemies to lovers but well written
Dork (23:47)
If not for the specification I would have judged you
Remus (relatable) (23:48)
Nice save Mary
Rosier (tragic) (23:48)
domestic fluff
Small dick (23:48)
No way evan said that
Small dick (23:49)
Does omegaverse count
Marlene (23:49)
AINT NO WAY BRUHHH
Rosier (tragic) (23:49)
what's that
James dumbass (23:49)
helloooooooo
Peter (23:50)
Evan you don't wanna know
Reg (23:50)
Barty you read omegaverse?
Mary (23:50)
Isn't that the thing where dudes get pregnant
Lils❣️ (23:50)
WHAT
James dumbass (23:51)
I CAN GET PREGNANT?
Peter (23:51)
James scroll up
Rosier (tragic) (23:51)
Barty first we learn you can read and now that?
Bitch brother (23:51)
I'm the alpha I'm the leader I'm the one to trust AWOOOO
Remus (relatable) (23:52)
What the actual fuck
Pan🍉 (23:52)
Remus did you know what the omegaverse is
Remus (relatable) (23:52)
Unfortunately
Dork (23:52)
Damn Lupin you seemed stable
Remus (relatable) (23:53)
Ooc
James dumbass (23:53)
is that a short keysmash or a word I don't know
Reg (23:53)
This group is living proof that fanfiction turns you gay
Lils❣️ (23:53)
Disturbingly accurate
James dumbass (23:54)
I don't read fanfiction
Marlene (23:54)
but are you gay?
Peter (23:54)
I fear James does not set a limit on genders he is attracted to
Pan🍉 (23:54)
Damn that was smooth Peter
James dumbass (23:55)
Huh
James dumbass (23:55)
Reg explain what he said
Reg (23:55)
He said that you are not straight and you like everyone
Small dick (23:55)
Damn guys you all saw that
Small dick (23:56)
Reggie just followed an order without complaining the least
Small dick (23:56)
Reg not everyone needs to know you're a bottom
Reg (23:56)
BARTY SHUT THE FUCK UP
Dork (23:56)
BURNNN
Lils❣️ (23:56)
Barty you're in so much danger
Remus (relatable) (23:57)
Well that was interesting information
Rosier (tragic) (23:57)
Barty came to my house btw
Pan🍉 (23:57)
Our house
Lils❣️ (23:57)
Domestic communism
Marlene (23:58)
both James and regulus vanished lol
Bitch brother (23:58)
my older brother instincts are telling me regulus is chasing barty
Rosier (tragic) (23:58)
I mean it's simple logic
Reg (23:59)
You're all so dramatic
Pan🍉 (23:59)
You made us
Mary (23:59)
I just caught up
Mary (23:59)
damn
November 24, 2025
Mary (00:00)
GOODMORNUNG
Marlene (00:00)
MORNDJIJ
Marlene (00:00)
FUCK
Mary (00:00)
AHAHAHAH
Rosier (tragic) (00:00)
what just happened
Remus (relatable) (00:01)
Mary and Marlene have this competition thing
Peter (00:01)
whoever texts gm first after midnight wins
Mary (00:01)
Marlene always loses
Marlene (00:01)
stfu
Rosier (tragic) (00:02)
nice
James dumbass (00:02)
Wait I just reread are you asking if I'm gay
Bitch brother (00:02)
I mean who isn't a little bit gay
Marlene (00:03)
Peter
Peter (00:03)
huh
Rosier (tragic) (00:03)
how does a little bit gay work
Reg (00:03)
Evan let my brother sink into denial
Bitch brother (00:04)
what the fuck regulus
Marlene (00:04)
Sirihs let's be fr
Pan🍉 (00:04)
Are you trying to convince everyone Sirius is gay
Lils❣️ (00:05)
Looks like it
Bitch brother (00:05)
James defend me
James dumbass (00:05)
🫥
Bitch brother (00:05)
wow thanks mate
Bitch brother (00:06)
Moony pls
Rosier (tragic) (00:06)
he told me in private that he is not participating in the argument
Remus (relatable) (00:06)
And I probably said it in private because maybe it wasn't an announcement
Rosier (tragic) (00:06)
oops
Mary (00:07)
Hey Sirius
Mary (00:07)
Maybe Peter can defend you
Bitch brother (00:07)
@Peter you're my last hope
Peter (00:07)
hey Sirius
Peter (00:08)
this you?
Peter (00:08)
🏳️🌈
Small dick (00:08)
Wow black the odds are against you
Bitch brother (00:09)
Whatever guys
Bitch brother (00:09)
You're all jealous I can pull more girls than all of you combined
Marlene (00:09)
Let's put this to a test
Marlene (00:09)
Who's making a bet with me
Dork (00:10)
I do
Marlene (00:10)
I bet Sirius can't get a girlfriend by the end of the week
Bitch brother (00:10)
YES I CAN
Dork (00:10)
Fine
Dork (00:11)
I bet he can with my guidance
Reg (00:11)
Really dorcas
Peter (00:11)
What does the winner get?????
Mary (00:12)
We need hot suggestions @everyone
Remus (relatable) (00:12)
Mary I thought we talked about tagging
James dumbass (00:12)
Ohhhhhh my godddddd
James dumbass (00:13)
Marlene you've already lost
Pan🍉 (00:13)
OMG i love bets
Rosier (tragic) (00:13)
This is literally dumb anyone could go to a club and get a desperate girl
Mary (00:13)
We're not talking about a one night stand we're talking about an actual girlfriend
Bitch brother (00:14)
You've already lost Marlene
Lils❣️ (00:14)
This will be so interesting
Peter (00:14)
But what does loser gettttt
Pan🍉 (00:14)
I have an idea
Pan🍉 (00:15)
Loser has to give the winner all their accounts passwords and whoever wins can send and post anything they want
Dork (00:15)
PANDORA THATS VICIOUS
Marlene (00:15)
reconsidering meadowes?
Dork (00:15)
Yk what
Dork (00:16)
No
Dork (00:16)
From the ten days I have been talking with Sirius he has proved me he is the most stubborn git
Dork (00:16)
Plus
Dork (00:17)
Don't assume no one can pull a girl fast just because you can't
Bitch brother (00:17)
OUCH
Peter (00:17)
BURNNNNNN
Marlene (00:18)
I don't think you have any sense what I am and am not capable of meadowes
Dork (00:18)
I think I do
Marlene (00:18)
Watch yourself lose that bet then
Marlene (00:18)
And if I lose
Marlene (00:19)
Have me get a girlfriend in a week
Marlene (00:19)
What do you say
Dork (00:19)
Bet
Lils❣️ (00:20)
I'm actually invested
Rosier (tragic) (00:20)
Same
Reg (00:20)
You are professional bullshitters aren't yall
James dumbass changed the name of this chat to The professional bullshitters
Remus (relatable) (00:21)
Representative
Mary (00:21)
Remus man
Peter (00:21)
Dude we missed you
Rosier (tragic) (00:22)
He was grieving
Remus (relatable) (00:22)
I was studying
Remus (relatable) (00:22)
Evan have I ever talked about how much I hate you
Rosier (tragic) (00:22)
Nah I would've remembered
James dumbass
November 24, 2025
James dumbass (16:58)
Heyyyyyyyy
Reg (16:59)
What do you want
James dumbass (16:59)
I only just realised
James dumbass (16:59)
My showcase starts in January and first game is in london
James dumbass (17:00)
I'm seeing all of you guys ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
Reg (17:00)
Bold of you to assume I want to see you
James dumbass (17:00)
I know you do
Reg (17:00)
Whoever told you
Reg (17:01)
Fire them
James dumbass (17:01)
Damn and I had just hired Jalapeño the alligator as my secret agent
Reg (17:01)
Wtf what are you on
James dumbass (17:01)
Uhhh my couch?
Reg (17:02)
God James I can't
James dumbass (17:02)
What's your Spotify
Reg (17:02)
What for
James dumbass (17:02)
Wanna make a blend
Reg (17:03)
No
James dumbass (17:03)
Whyyyyyyyy not
Reg (17:03)
Because
Reg (17:04)
no
James dumbass (17:04)
Please
Reg (17:04)
I said no
James dumbass (17:04)
Give me a reason
Reg (17:05)
I believe you have a bad music taste
James dumbass (17:05)
Then let me prove you wrong
Reg (17:05)
You can't
James dumbass (17:05)
Ypu don't even know what i listen
James dumbass (17:06)
Give me a chance
Reg (17:06)
ughh fine
Reg (17:06)
In one condition
Reg (17:06)
Zero comments about the name
James dumbass (17:07)
Lol okay
James dumbass (17:07)
So will you tell me?
Reg (17:08)
Yeah
Reg (17:08)
It's zaynshusband03
Reg (17:08)
i used to have major hyperfictations
James dumbass (17:08)
I will only say
James dumbass (17:09)
I was a die hard one direction fan once too
Reg (17:09)
I was wattpad famous for the fanfiction
James dumbass (17:09)
AINT NO WAYYYY
James dumbass (17:10)
Wait imma stalk your account
James dumbass (17:14)
THIS IS LITERALLY PERWFCT
James dumbass (17:14)
Conan gray
James dumbass (17:14)
The neighborhood
James dumbass (17:14)
EVEN TAYLOR
Reg (17:15)
That one Lily is responsible for
Reg (17:15)
Follow me too I want to criticize
James dumbass (17:15)
oke
Reg (17:16)
What does prongsie❤️🔥 even mean
James dumbass (17:16)
Oh that's a nickname
James dumbass (17:16)
Sirius invented it
Reg (17:16)
Yeah looks dumb enough to come from him
Reg (17:19)
Wow James I didn't actually expect much tbh
Reg (17:19)
You surprised me
James dumbass (17:19)
That's getting a screenshot for my achievements album
Reg (17:20)
…
Reg (17:20)
I feel the irresistible urge to roast you now
James dumbass (17:20)
I mean at least you are honest?
Reg (17:21)
Nevermind
James dumbass (17:21)
Nirvana reference?
Reg (17:21)
Not everything is a reference James
James dumbass (17:21)
Yes it is
James dumbass (17:22)
Tell me about the fanfiction you wrote
Reg (17:22)
Absolutely not
Reg (17:22)
I was such a cringy 15 year old
James dumbass (17:22)
That i would love to witness
Reg (17:23)
No you wouldn't
James dumbass (17:23)
You didn't reply in the groupchat tho
James dumbass (17:23)
What's your favorite trope
Reg (17:23)
Why do you even care you don't even read fanfiction
James dumbass (17:24)
I just wanna know
Reg (17:24)
Does leave me the fuck alone count as an answer
James dumbass (17:24)
Nah
Reg (17:25)
I despise you
Reg (17:25)
it's slow burn
James dumbass (17:25)
Ofc it is because out of all would be the torture for impatient people
Reg (17:26)
No one made you read it
Reg (17:26)
Also I'm leaving
Reg (17:26)
I have studio
James dumbass (17:26)
Funny you mention that actually
James dumbass (17:27)
I have practice
James dumbass (17:27)
Bye
Reg (17:27)
Bb
Notes:
Are you team Dorcas or team Marls?
Not like I haven't already decided but yeah
REGULUS. WAS. A. ONE. DIRECTION. FAN walk with me now
Watch out Reggie your trope is about to become forced proximity
Chapter 7: key words: girls, gay, pretty
Summary:
Lily and mary do a lil face reveal
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Mary 🏹
November 25, 2025
Mary 🏹 (11:39)
Heyyy u there
Lily 🌺 (13:11)
Hiiii sorry I was just done
Mary 🏹 (13:12)
Dw i just finished early
Lily 🌺 (13:12)
Oh okay
Lily 🌺 (13:12)
Anything up
Mary 🏹 (13:13)
Nah I just thought of texting you
Lily 🌺 (13:13)
Oh nice
Lily 🌺 (13:13)
Oh btw
Lily 🌺 (13:13)
As a live observer of Marlene and Sirius
Lily 🌺 (13:14)
What's your opinion on the bet
Mary 🏹 (13:14)
Hmm
Mary 🏹 (13:14)
Even if Sirius is a fruit to the bone
Mary 🏹 (13:14)
He can pull a girl if he wants to
Mary 🏹 (13:15)
Thing is marlene won't let this slide smoothly
Mary 🏹 (13:15)
She's gonna make sure he fails
Lily 🌺 (13:15)
damn
Mary 🏹 (13:15)
Fun thing about Marlene is that she really did this to beat dorcas
Lily 🌺 (13:16)
Does she hate her
Mary 🏹 (13:16)
Well not exactly
Mary 🏹 (13:16)
She probably fancies her
Lily 🌺 (13:16)
NO WAY so does dorcas
Mary 🏹 (13:17)
Bruh ain't no way
Lily 🌺 (13:17)
Has she actually said it tho
Mary 🏹 (13:17)
Well no but it's obvious
Lily 🌺 (13:17)
Same with Cas
Mary 🏹 (13:18)
Reckon we should set them up?
Lily 🌺 (13:18)
As much as I want to I don't think we should
Mary 🏹 (13:18)
Let them find out themselves
Lily 🌺 (13:19)
Yeahhh
Mary 🏹 (13:19)
Oh btw
Mary 🏹 (13:19)
James is coming to England for the team's showcase in January
Lily 🌺 (13:19)
Omgggggg
Mary 🏹 (13:20)
Some of us are thinking of visiting along with him
Mary 🏹 (13:20)
Remus Marlene and Peter have some core exams that are like 30% their grade
Mary 🏹 (13:20)
Altho I do see Marlene sneaking into a suitcase to come
Lily 🌺 (13:21)
Guys come plssss we will love to see you
Mary 🏹 (13:21)
We'll do our best
Mary 🏹 (13:21)
There's no way I'm missing it
Lily 🌺 (13:22)
AJSKDNSJSJ we're gonna meet omg
Mary 🏹 (13:22)
I CSNT WAIT
Mary 🏹 (13:22)
Is our date still on
Lily 🌺 (13:22)
Um duh
Mary 🏹 (13:23)
YAYYY
Lily 🌺 (13:23)
AJSKSJWJJJDBW
Mary 🏹 (13:23)
That's a pretty keysmash btw
Lily 🌺 (13:23)
Lol thanks
Lily 🌺 (13:24)
I just realised
Lily 🌺 (13:24)
We haven't done a face reveal
Lily 🌺 (13:24)
Not that I want to pressure you if you want to
Mary 🏹 (13:24)
OMG I'd love to I just hadn't asked bc I didn't know if you wanted too
Lily 🌺 (13:25)
I dooooo
Mary 🏹 (13:25)
Okayokay
Mary 🏹 (13:25)
Let's pick a picture
Lily 🌺 (13:25)
Okee
Candy ass🍬
November 25, 2025
Lily 🌺 (13:26)
GUYSSSSSS
Reggie 🖤 (13:27)
Are you bleeding
Lily 🌺 (13:27)
No
Reggie 🖤 (13:27)
Is there a fire
Lily 🌺 (13:27)
No
Reggie 🖤 (13:28)
Are you in danger
Lily 🌺 (13:28)
Reg fucking shit
Panda✨️💕 (13:29)
Reggie why are you torturing her
Reggie 🖤 (13:29)
I'm trying to make a point
Lily 🌺 (13:29)
IM DOING A FACE REVEAL WITH MARY
Wifey🎀 (13:29)
Pretty panicked for a friendly convo eh?
Evsss🦈 (13:30)
Dorcas could you leave people stay in their closets pls
Lily 🌺 (13:30)
I'm not even in the closet
Lily 🌺 (13:30)
I just need help
Lily 🌺 (13:30)
Which one should I send
Lily 🌺 (13:31)
(insert picture)
Lily 🌺 (13:31)
(insert picture)
Lily 🌺 (13:31)
(insert picture)
Wifey🎀 (13:32)
Daymmmmmm
Reggie 🖤 (13:32)
The second one
Batshit 🌿 (13:32)
I have better ones of you
Evsss🦈 (13:32)
Do not trust barty and pictures
Panda✨️💕 (13:33)
You look pretty in all of them
Wifey🎀 (13:33)
Pan is right
Wifey🎀 (13:33)
But yeah I think the second is the one
Reggie 🖤 (13:33)
Read that again
Lily 🌺 (13:34)
Thanks guys
Mary 🏹
November 25, 2025
Lily 🌺 (13:35)
Ready when you are
Mary 🏹 (13:35)
Okay I'm ready too
Mary 🏹 (13:35)
Want me to go first?
Lily 🌺 (13:36)
Yeah (pls)
Mary 🏹 (13:36)
Lol okay
Mary 🏹 (13:36)
(Insert picture)
Candy ass🍬
November 25, 2025
Lily 🌺 (13:38)
GUYS SHES GORGEOUS
Lily 🌺 (13:38)
SHES LIKE
Lily 🌺 (13:39)
BREATHTAKING JAW DROPPING BUTTERFLIES BLUSHING GOOSEBUMPS PRETTY
Reggie 🖤 (13:39)
gay
Wifey🎀 (13:40)
I'd kill to see
Panda✨️💕 (13:40)
Lily did you reply to her
Lily 🌺 (13:40)
OHSHIT
Mary 🏹
November 25, 2025
Lily 🌺 (13:40)
You are SO pretty omg
Mary 🏹 (13:40)
Thankssss
Lily 🌺 (13:41)
No but like really you are gorgeous
Mary 🏹 (13:41)
😊
Mary 🏹 (13:41)
Well how much prettier than you can I be
Lily 🌺 (13:41)
Well a lot
Lily 🌺 (13:42)
It's my turn isn't it
Mary 🏹 (13:42)
I mean if you want to
Lily 🌺 (13:42)
No i do
Lily 🌺 (13:42)
Okay then
Lily 🌺 (13:43)
(Insert picture)
Mars bar 😝
November 25, 2025
Mary🍒 (13:43)
Do you think I like girls
Mars bar 😝 (13:43)
About damn time
Mars bar 😝 (13:43)
Yes next question
Mars bar 😝 (13:44)
Why tho
Mary🍒 (13:44)
No reason
Mars bar 😝 (13:44)
Who turned your gay on Mary
Mars bar 😝 (13:45)
Speak up
Mary🍒 (13:45)
I know you hate me
Mars bar 😝 (13:45)
DID YOU JUST MAKE A CONAN GRAY REFERENCE
Mars bar 😝 (13:45)
YOU DONT EVEN LISTEN YO CONAN GRAY
Mars bar 😝 (13:46)
Who are you and what did you do to Mary
Mary🍒 (13:46)
Bruh
Mary🍒 (13:46)
OH SHIT I GOTTA TEXT HER BACK
Mars bar 😝 (13:47)
HWO
Mary 🏹
November 25, 2025
Mary 🏹 (13:47)
HOW can you be so pretty
Mary 🏹 (13:47)
What money did your parents invest in you
Lily 🌺 (13:48)
LMAO thanks
Lily 🌺 (13:48)
What kind of pickup line is this
Mary 🏹 (13:48)
Nonexistent one I just made it up
Mary 🏹 (13:49)
No but like you are actually gorgeous
Lily 🌺 (13:49)
Says you while looking like this
Mary 🏹 (13:49)
What if
Mary 🏹 (13:49)
We are both gorgeous
Lily 🌺 (13:50)
Approved
Mary 🏹 (13:50)
Lmao
Mary 🏹 (13:50)
Arhghsgj im getting accused of ghosting
Lily 🌺 (13:50)
What why
Mary 🏹 (13:51)
Marlene
Lily 🌺 (13:51)
Oh lol
Lily 🌺 (13:51)
It's always the best friend somehow
Mary 🏹 (13:52)
Exactly
Mars bar 😝
November 25, 2025
Mary🍒 (13:53)
What do you want
Mars bar 😝 (13:53)
You said you like girls you quote conan and then leave me on read
Mars bar 😝 (13:53)
How am I supposed to live laugh love in these conditions
Mary🍒 (13:53)
Are you kidding me
Mars bar 😝 (13:54)
Are YOU kidding ME
Mary🍒 (13:54)
Lily taught me conan
Mars bar 😝 (13:54)
I'm offended
Mary🍒 (13:54)
And she's like
Mary🍒 (13:55)
So fucking pretty
Mary🍒 (13:55)
She's gorgeous marlene
Mary🍒 (13:55)
I feel gay
Mars bar 😝 (13:55)
You finally took the right path closer to girl in red
Mary🍒 (13:56)
No but like really now
Mary🍒 (13:56)
Do you think I like girls
Mars bar 😝 (13:56)
Can I be honest
Mary🍒 (13:57)
…yes
Mars bar 😝 (13:57)
You always have
Mars bar 😝 (13:57)
You didn't know
Mary🍒 (13:57)
So I just go on with the knowledge that I like girls
Mars bar 😝 (13:58)
We've all been there
Mars bar 😝 (13:58)
Lily deserves a badge for taking you out of denial
Mary🍒 (13:58)
Imma give her a pin reading *Mary's gay awakening badge*
Mars bar 😝 (13:58)
You're too calm
Mary🍒 (13:59)
Well it's not exactly news
Mary🍒 (13:59)
I've had my suspicions for months
Mars bar 😝 (13:59)
Why did i not know about that
Mary🍒 (13:59)
I wasn't sure
Mars bar 😝 (14:00)
Oh Mary Mary mary
Mary🍒 (14:00)
Should i be scared
Mars bar 😝 (14:00)
I had a crush on you for like the first weeks into high school
Mary🍒 (14:00)
WHAT
Mary🍒 (14:00)
WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR 8 YEARS
Mary🍒 (14:01)
HOW DID YOU NOT TELL ME
Mars bar 😝 (14:01)
I didn't know how you would react
Mary🍒 (14:01)
We really need to meet up
Mars bar 😝 (14:01)
6?
Mary🍒 (14:02)
Yep
Mary🍒 (14:02)
I'll go text Lily now
Mars bar 😝 (14:02)
Well it's not like you do anything else
Mary🍒 (14:03)
Stfu
Mary 🏹
November 25, 2025
Mary 🏹 (14:03)
I'm back (I sorted out the ghosting thing)
Lily 🌺 (14:04)
Yayyyyy
Mary 🏹 (14:04)
Some rather interesting revelations were made
Lily 🌺 (14:04)
That's the spirit
Lily 🌺 (14:04)
Omg the boys with chemistry are arguing in the class groupchat
Mary 🏹 (14:05)
This is like so canon
Mary 🏹 (14:05)
We all have these two closeted definitely fancy each other boys in class
Lily 🌺 (14:05)
Exactly like
Lily 🌺 (14:05)
Just kiss already
Mary 🏹 (14:06)
I had these 2 boys in my class back in high school
Mary 🏹 (14:06)
Moved to different states
Lily 🌺 (14:06)
NOOOOO
Lily 🌺 (14:06)
I'm heartbroken
Mary 🏹 (14:07)
It's so sad my god
Lily 🌺 (14:07)
Mine are like so perfect
Lily 🌺 (14:07)
They sit together and they are literally inseparable
Lily 🌺 (14:07)
One of them has a girlfriend but he's in physical touch with the guy more frequently than he is with her
Lily 🌺 (14:08)
They whisper to each other and everything
Mary 🏹 (14:08)
OMG AKSKJSJWHDHSN THIIS IS SO XUTE
Lily 🌺 (14:08)
Yesterday the one was folding the other guys lab coat without him even being in there
Lily 🌺 (14:09)
They're cuties
Mary 🏹 (14:09)
I gotta see that
Lily 🌺 (14:09)
I could try and send footage
Lily 🌺 (14:10)
I have tuts in a bit
Mary 🏹 (14:10)
Omggg
Mary 🏹 (14:10)
Don't get caught tho
Lily 🌺 (14:10)
Lol dw I'm good at that
Mary 🏹 (14:11)
Speaking from experience?
Lily 🌺 (14:11)
Oh come on you've done it at least once
Mary 🏹 (14:11)
Wish it was once…
Lily 🌺 (14:11)
Lmao
Lily 🌺 (14:12)
It's a lifestyle
Mary 🏹 (14:12)
It's a religion
Notes:
What do you mean I listen to conan gray why would you say that who even is this guy do i know him
Chapter 8: burns bring people together!
Summary:
Reg's birthday is uncovered, James burns his leg, Regulus nurses him long distance
Notes:
Hey guys sorry for the late update, school started and so did my stress, apart from homework, rehearsals and school I also had a pretty unmotivated mood the past week, but now I have a cold and I have nothing to do so I'm writing. Hope this chapter finds you better than me
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The professional bullshitters
November 27, 2025
James dumbass (23:34)
REGULUS ITS YPUR BIRTHDAY IN 4 DAYS
Reg (23:34)
Sirius I really fucking hate you
Bitch brother🖕💩 (23:35)
Oops I guess
Remus (relatable) (23:35)
We tried to ask these two not to make a big deal out of it
Mary (23:35)
We sorta failed sorry regulus
Reg (23:36)
I mean i appreciate the gesture
Small dick (23:36)
It's the effort that counts
Rosier (tragic) (23:36)
Only losers say that
Bitch brother🖕💩 (23:36)
Speaking from experience?
Small dick (23:37)
Literally fuck you black
Marlene (23:37)
Oop we don't wanna see that
Mary (23:37)
Marlene no
Dork (23:37)
Crazy how the insult was directed to evan yet barty sprinted to defend him
James dumbass (23:38)
Tea
Marlene (23:38)
Okay brits important question
Marlene (23:38)
What's your music taste
Rosier (tragic) (23:39)
Arctic Monkeys the neighborhood hozier and some Billie eilish
Dork (23:39)
Why would i tell you
Mary (23:39)
Evan I approve so much
Lils❣️ (23:39)
Mine is Taylor swift, Lana del Rey, Clairo, Girl in red, conan gray
Marlene (23:39)
GIRL IN RED 💪
Lils❣️ (23:40)
Dorcas listens to girl in red too btw
Dork (23:40)
LILY SHUT UP
Marlene (23:40)
Dam meadowes ypu didnt look 🏳️🌈
Dork (23:40)
Stfu i look like whatever i want to
Pan🍉 (23:40)
That's a lot of messages for 6 minutes
Pan🍉 (23:41)
Oh you heard about reggies birthday
James dumbass (23:41)
Yessssssss
James dumbass (23:41)
We make a big deal out of birthdays
Marlene (23:41)
That's true
Mary (23:41)
True
Peter (23:41)
Real
Bitch brother🖕💩 (23:42)
LMAO yes we do
Small dick (23:42)
Love how you all agreed
Reg (23:42)
Oh I've had the misfortune of interacting with Sirius's friends on my birthday before
Reg (23:42)
Extraordinary experience definitely DO NOT recommend
Bitch brother🖕💩 (23:42)
It was a video call chill
Mary (23:43)
Ohhh I remember that day
Pan🍉 (23:43)
Oh god so do I
Marlene (23:43)
We will make sure this time will be even more unforgettable
Mary (23:43)
We care and we want to protect you Regulus
Reg (23:44)
I hate you all
James dumbass
November 27, 2025
Reg (23:45)
Count your days
James dumbass (23:45)
🙃🙃🙃
James dumbass (23:45)
Oh now that you mention that I have some news
Reg (23:45)
What did you do
James dumbass (23:46)
I burnt my leg
Reg (23:46)
WHAT
James dumbass (23:46)
So I took Sirius's motorcycle
James dumbass (23:47)
Right after he came back so the engine was like hot inside
James dumbass (23:47)
And it was under the sun
Reg (23:47)
What sun it's nearly November
James dumbass (23:47)
This ain't cold dull England
James dumbass (23:48)
Global warming actually affects us
Reg (23:48)
Go on
James dumbass (23:48)
And yeah I tried to ride it
James dumbass (23:48)
And my leg touched the black part
James dumbass (23:49)
And yeah
James dumbass (23:49)
(Insert picture)
Reg (23:50)
JAMES OMG
Reg (23:50)
HOW STUPID ARE YOU
Reg (23:50)
How the fuck did you burn your leg because of a black surface this doesn't even make sense
James dumbass (23:51)
Man idk it just happen3d
Reg (23:51)
You are such a fucking idiot
Reg (23:51)
Do you have beeswax balm?
James dumbass (23:51)
Huh
Reg (23:52)
It's good for burns
Reg (23:52)
Evan taught me
James dumbass (23:52)
Do they teach that in medical school
Reg (23:52)
Nah it's the eastern European in him
James dumbass (23:53)
HES EASTERN EUROPEAN
Reg (23:53)
Didn't i just say it
Reg (23:53)
He and Pandora are half Russian
James dumbass (23:54)
That's so cool
James dumbass (23:54)
Marlene is polish
James dumbass (23:54)
Guess we all have that one eastern European homie
Reg (23:54)
You did not just call Marlene a homie
James dumbass (23:55)
Should've called her a homo
Reg (23:55)
LMAO anyways
James dumbass (23:55)
I'm not gonna be smug about making you laugh cause you're never gonna do it again
James dumbass (23:55)
Do you think she will know what that beeswax is
Reg (23:56)
Polish and a nurse
Reg (23:56)
And an athlete as far as I'm informed
Reg (23:56)
She definitely does
James dumbass (23:57)
Lmao okay I'll text her
James dumbass (23:57)
Wtf is going on in the gc
The professional bullshitters
November 27, 2025
Bitch brother🖕💩 (23:57)
IT FUCKING COUNTS
Marlene (23:57)
NO IT DOESNT
Rosier (tragic) (23:57)
I love this
Marlene (23:57)
WE AGREED FROM THE BEGGINING TO AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP
Bitch brother🖕💩 (23:57)
YPURR JUST CHANGING THE RULES BECAUSE YPURE LOSING
Marlene (23:58)
no YOURE CHANGING THE RULES CAUSE YPURE LOSING
Dork (23:58)
MCKINNON GROW TF UP
Marlene (23:58)
ME???
James dumbass (23:58)
Dayum guys stop fighting
Bitch brother🖕💩 (23:58)
STFU IM STILL MAD AT YOU
Small dick (23:59)
Nooo don't stop we're enjoying it
James dumbass (23:59)
WHY WOULD YPU BE MAD IM THE ONE WHO BURNT HIS LEG
Bitch brother🖕💩 (23:59)
YPU TOOK MY MOTORCYCLE
Reg (23:59)
Damn Sirius you say motorcycle too?
Marlene (23:59)
Wait guys stop for a moment
Marlene (23:59)
Hey Mary
November 28, 2025
Marlene (00:00)
Good
Marlene (00:00)
Fucking
Marlene (00:00)
MORNING
Marlene (00:00)
BAHAHAHHAHAHA
Peter (00:00)
Hey regulus Sirius used to call it a motorbike he just got bullied enough to change it
Reg (00:00)
And now he's gonna get bullied enough to change it back
James dumbass (00:01)
Back to the previous conversation
James dumbass (00:01)
YOU CANT BLAME ME I DIDNT KNOW YOU DIDNT WANT ME TO TAJE IT
Bitch brother🖕💩(00:01)
I LITERSLLY TOLD YOU NOT TO
James dumbass (00:01)
NO YOU DIDNT
Bitch brother🖕💩 (00:01)
YES I DID YOU WERE PLAYING CLUB PENGUIN ANS I TOLD YOU JAMES DONT TAKE MY MOTORCYCLE AND YOU SAID OKAY
James dumbass (00:02)
I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION
Bitch brother🖕💩 (00:02)
NOT MY PROBLEM
James dumbass (00:02)
I HAVE ADHD LEAVE ME ALONE
Rosier (tragic) (00:03)
hey James what's your username on club penguin
James dumbass (00:03)
It's jamesieprongsieshowboy
Lils❣️ (00:03)
Is that a Taylor reference
James dumbass (00:03)
YWS i love the life of a showgirl
Small dick (00:04)
Sirius logged off and James started socializing
Remus (relatable) (00:04)
He played the adhd card
Peter (00:04)
Sirius uses excuses like that and his morals dont let him go against this
James dumbass (00:04)
Yeah it's kinda useful when it doesn't make me forget my orchids in the sink because I wanted to water them but stopped mid way because the wind was strong and it reminded me of the dryer which I had to unload
Lils❣️ (00:05)
Average adhd experience
Mary (00:05)
MARLENE FUXK YOURSELF
Pan🍉 (00:05)
Aw guys don't start shouting again
Marlene (00:05)
Suck on that Macdonald
Lils❣️ (00:05)
Oh hi Pan
Lils❣️ (00:06)
I called you a couple of times
Lils❣️ (00:06)
Only 13
Pan🍉 (00:06)
Oh sorry
Pan🍉 (00:06)
Everything okay?
Peter (00:06)
I would get a heart attack seeing 13 missed calls
Reg (00:07)
Relatable
Small dick (00:07)
Oh yeah Lily was looking for you
Lils❣️ (00:07)
Evan was really helpful
Lils❣️ (00:07)
He said you went somewhere
Rosier (tragic) (00:08)
I couldn't remember at the moment
Mary (00:08)
Sounds valid to me
Pan🍉 (00:08)
I was in the library with Amelia and hestia
Rosier (tragic) (00:08)
rightttt now i remember
Peter (00:09)
When you change r to e in right it becomes 8
Lils❣️ (00:09)
Why was 6 afraid of 7
James dumbass (00:09)
BECAUSE 7 8 9
Small dick (00:09)
6 7 🤷♂️
Marlene (00:09)
SIX SEVEN
Reg (00:10)
If anyone asks me to define cringe I will show them this
Rosier (tragic) (00:10)
cringed so hard I got goosebumps
Small dick (00:10)
You can try and deny how funny we are but we'll know
Mary (00:10)
YOULL CHANGE YOUR NAME AND CHANGE YOUR MIND AND LEAVE THIS FUCKED UP PLACE BEHIND BUT ILL KNOW ILL KNOW
Reg (00:11)
You can all try as much as you want but you are not funny
Bitch brother🖕💩 (00:11)
No one is funny to you anyway
Rosier (tragic) (00:11)
He's got a point
Reg (00:11)
I thought you were with me rosier
Rosier (tragic) (00:12)
I'm with no one im a depressed gay single man
Small dick (00:12)
I can change that 😏
Mary (00:12)
Which one
Reg (00:12)
Probably the gay one cause he's a disgrace to mankind
Bitch brother🖕💩 (00:13)
I'd let barty hit tbh
Small dick (00:13)
I'd gladly hit
Reg (00:13)
Not my brother and my best friend ew
Mary (00:13)
This is straight Sirius Black btw
Remus (relatable) (00:13)
I doubt that every passing day
Pan🍉 (00:13)
Isn't that what the bet is about
Small dick (00:14)
I'm just hot enough to turn a straight man
Marlene (00:14)
Don't call Sirius straight it's offensive
Peter (00:14)
To who
Remus (relatable) (00:14)
Straight people
Reg (00:15)
Speaking for the gays he's offensive to us too
Marlene (00:15)
Facts
Dork (00:15)
Yall have no lives fr
Rosier (tragic) (00:15)
omg dorcas you remembered you live in the 21st century and that you have a phone
Dork (00:15)
Stfu
Bitch brother🖕💩 (00:16)
First of all I'm not gay
Bitch brother🖕💩 (00:16)
Second of all Reggie I hope a piano falls from the sixth floor and lands on you
Reg (00:16)
Bold of you to assume I don't wish that too
Pan🍉 (00:16)
Hey I thought we talked about that
Lils❣️ (00:17)
Suicidal thoughts are not okay Reggie
Reg (00:17)
Leave me be
James dumbass
November 28, 2025
James dumbass (01:28)
Marlene gave me beeswax
Reg (01:28)
Right now?
James dumbass (01:28)
No but I just remembered it and I thought I'd tell you
Reg (01:29)
Okay
James dumbass (01:29)
Oh btw
James dumbass (01:29)
We are doing something for your birthday and you can't stop us
Reg (01:29)
I won't be sad if you don't I'll actually be relieved
Reg (01:30)
Reconsider
James dumbass (01:30)
I don't need to the decision is taken
Reg (01:30)
And what is that you're doing?
James dumbass (01:30)
I'm not telling you
Reg (01:30)
Why
James dumbass (01:31)
It won't be a surprise then
Reg (01:31)
I don't care
James dumbass (01:31)
Well I don't care either
Reg (01:31)
Then tell me
James dumbass (01:31)
No
Reg (01:32)
Fuck yourself
James dumbass (01:32)
😆
Reg (01:32)
You were supposed to be nice
James dumbass (01:32)
You think I'm nice?
Reg (01:33)
No I think you're annoying
James dumbass (01:33)
And I think you're unnecessarily cold
Reg (01:33)
Well that's mean
James dumbass (01:34)
You talk about being mean?
Reg (01:34)
Well fuck you
Reg (01:34)
I hope your burn takes a month to heal
James dumbass (01:34)
Dam
Reg (01:35)
Now if you don't need me
Reg (01:35)
I shall go
James dumbass (01:35)
No you shalln’t
Reg (01:36)
That's so grammatically wrong
James dumbass (01:36)
I'm bored on my ownnnnn
Reg (01:36)
You're technically already on your own
Reg (01:36)
You're staring at a screen thinking there's a person on the other side
James dumbass (01:37)
Are you a robot
Reg (01:37)
I could be one
James dumbass (01:37)
That's bullshit I've seen you in person
Reg (01:38)
That was 2 years ago
Reg (01:38)
I could have died
James dumbass (01:38)
You are not dead
Reg (01:38)
How sure are you
James dumbass (01:39)
Stop messing with me
Reg (01:39)
Why it's fun
James dumbass (01:39)
I'd die to see your face rn
Reg (01:39)
No
James dumbass (01:40)
Wanna ft
Reg (01:40)
No
James dumbass (01:40)
Pleeeeeeaaaasssseeeee
Reg (01:40)
I said no
James dumbass (01:40)
Photochat?
Reg (01:41)
No
Reg (01:41)
Why do you wanna see me so bad
James dumbass (01:41)
I just do and I won't give up
James dumbass (01:41)
They call me stubborn idk why
Reg (01:42)
I wonder as well
James dumbass (01:42)
(Picture: Pls reply plsplsplsp)
Reg (01:43)
(Picture: Will you leave me alone now?)
James dumbass (01:43)
(Picture: That's your wall)
Reg (01:44)
(Picture: I hate you)
James dumbass (01:44)
(Picture: so I may had forgotten what you looked like)
Reg (01:44)
(Picture: Omg Potter is that a blush I see)
James dumbass (01:44)
(Picture: So we got back to displaying your wall?)
Reg (01:45)
(Picture: Your glasses are crooked)
James dumbass (01:45)
(Picture: Fixed now you can look at my face without interactions)
Reg (01:45)
(Picture: I don't want to look at your ugly ass face)
James dumbass (01:45)
(Picture: Sure you don't)
Reg (01:46)
(Picture: Are you wearing a Spiderman shirt?)
James dumbass (01:46)
(Picture: Hell yes)
Reg (01:46)
(Picture: You're such a baby)
James dumbass (01:46)
(Picture: Spiderman obsessions have no age)
Reg (01:47)
(Picture: Pls I need no more marvel obsessed freaks in my life)
James dumbass (01:47)
(Picture)
Reg (01:47)
(Picture: How can you be a sports guy and still be a nerd)
James dumbass (01:47)
(Picture: It's an art)
Reg (01:48)
(Picture: Are you gonna talk to me about art?)
James dumbass (01:48)
(Picture: Since you are an art student you must have an art dedicated wall)
Reg (01:48)
(Picture: Yes I do wait)
James dumbass (01:48)
(Picture: Okie)
Reg (01:49)
(Picture)
James dumbass (01:49)
(Picture: Apart from the popular ones the one with the ship reminds me of something)
Reg (01:49)
(Picture: Gathering storm by Ivan Aivasovski)
James dumbass (01:50)
(Picture: I've definitely seen it somewhere)
Reg (01:50)
(Picture: It's such a good one I'd steal the original and hang it right here)
James dumbass (01:50)
(Picture: Can I help with the robbery)
Reg (01:50)
(Picture: No I don't need dumbasses on my way)
James dumbass (01:51)
(Picture: So you've already planned it)
Reg (01:51)
(Picture: I've done whatever I want stfu)
James dumbass (01:51)
(Picture: Tehehaha)
Reg (01:51)
(Picture: I got so flashed by your face I'm not repeating this experience)
James dumbass (01:52)
(Picture: Yet you opened this one too)
Reg (01:52)
(Picture: I hate you)
James dumbass (01:52)
(Picture: Why is your middle finger so long)
Reg (01:53)
(Picture: I've played the piano since I was 3)
James dumbass (01:53)
(Picture: Well I bet my hand is bigger than yours)
Reg (01:53)
(Picture: Why is that)
James dumbass (01:53)
(Picture: I play basketball and I'm taller)
Reg (01:54)
(Picture: You know what they say about big hands)
James dumbass (01:54)
(Picture: No?)
Reg (01:54)
(Picture: Lmao nvm)
James dumbass (01:54)
(Picture: Noo tell me)
Reg (01:55)
(Picture: Don't puppy eyes me)
James dumbass (01:55)
(Picture: Is it working)
Reg (01:55)
(Picture: I'm going to bed and you should too)
James dumbass (01:55)
(Picture: Rhausjshhs I'm not tired)
Reg (01:56)
(Picture: You have class at 9 tomorrow)
James dumbass (01:56)
(Picture: How do you know)
Reg (01:56)
(Picture: You told me in the morning)
James dumbass (01:56)
(Picture: Oh right)
Reg (01:57)
(Picture: Night)
James dumbass (01:57)
(Picture: Goodnight pretty boy)
Notes:
"Define subtle foreshadowing" a new student came to my class and his last name is kudos (💀) MAKE THIS HAPPEN GUYS!!!
Also James's burn is literally what happened to me, except my own burn is two weeks old and still trying to recover so yeah its gonna be a fun month for prongs (sorry mate)
Chapter 9: give you something good to celebrate
Notes:
So I wanted to post this yesterday but i decided to go to bed early because I had to wake up in the crack of dawn the next daY FOR TLOASG GUYS THE ALBUM IS PERFECT get ready for references because I'm in love
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
James swiftie 💪
November 29, 2025
James swiftie 💪 (14:56)
Hwy
Lily 🌺 (14:57)
Hii
James swiftie 💪 (14:57)
Are you free right now?
Lily 🌺 (14:57)
That depends
Lily 🌺 (14:57)
In what way
James swiftie 💪 (14:58)
I just want to ask you some stuff
James swiftie 💪 (14:58)
It's about regulus
James swiftie 💪 (14:58)
We want to plan something for his birthday and we need your help
Lily 🌺 (14:58)
Sure I can help
James swiftie 💪 (14:59)
Yesss perfect
James swiftie 💪 (14:59)
Don't tell him tho
Lily 🌺 (14:59)
Oh come on like I would
Lily 🌺 (14:59)
I'd die to see his face full on birthday embarrassment
James swiftie 💪 (14:59)
Video that I'd die to see it too
James swiftie 💪 (15:00)
But yeah thanks
Lily 🌺 (15:00)
Happy to help
James swiftie 💪 (15:00)
Okay so
James swiftie 💪 (15:00)
We were thinking of delivering some stuff
James swiftie 💪 (15:01)
And along with that
James swiftie 💪 (15:01)
A QR code leading to a video of each of us individually wishing to him happy birthday
Lily 🌺 (15:01)
You guys are so down for it I love it
Lily 🌺 (15:01)
Wait where do I help it seems like you have it all figured out
James swiftie 💪 (15:02)
Well apart from the fact that we will need someone to cooperate with the delivery
James swiftie 💪 (15:02)
I also need your personal opinion on what I should get him
Lily 🌺 (15:02)
I will offer you my coaching 😩
James swiftie 💪 (15:02)
Omg thanks 😆😆😆
Lily 🌺 (15:03)
I'll text you the address we receive mail in sms
Lily 🌺 (15:03)
And you already have my number
James swiftie 💪 (15:03)
Perfect thanks
Lily 🌺 (15:03)
Now about the gift
Lily 🌺 (15:04)
Honestly I'd just tell you what he would like to receive but in my opinion what you gift to a person has to be relevant to what your relationship is like
Lily 🌺 (15:04)
Like an inside reference
James swiftie 💪 (15:04)
Hmmm
James swiftie 💪 (15:05)
That being mentioned
James swiftie 💪 (15:05)
I have something in mind
Lily 🌺 (15:05)
Sendddd
James swiftie 💪 (15:05)
When I find it i will
James swiftie 💪 (15:06)
What's his size
Lily 🌺 (15:06)
In men's it's small but he gets oversized so unless it's established oversized get medium
James swiftie 💪 (15:06)
Thanksss Lily you're a treasure 🙏
Lily 🌺 (15:07)
No problem love
Lily 🌺 (15:07)
Text me when you find whatever it is that you are looking for
James swiftie 💪 (15:07)
I will
Mary 🏹
November 29, 2025
Mary 🏹 (19:46)
I just realised
Mary 🏹 (19:46)
The end of the bet lands one day before Reg's birthday
Lily 🌺 (19:47)
Lmao I hadn't noticed
Lily 🌺 (19:47)
It's gonna be a fun couple of days
Mary 🏹 (19:47)
Yipe
Lily 🌺 (19:48)
What's going on with that bet anyway
Mary 🏹 (19:48)
So sirius saw a girl for 2 days straight
Mary 🏹 (19:48)
Like they hooked up in a club and then he took her home and they also met again the next night
Lily 🌺 (19:48)
Emotional
Mary 🏹 (19:49)
Tons
Mary 🏹 (19:49)
Then he ghosted her
Lily 🌺 (19:49)
??? no context?
Mary 🏹 (19:49)
Yeah none he just willingly stopped seeing her
Lily 🌺 (19:50)
Poor girl
Mary 🏹 (19:50)
Yeah he just really didn't care to the point he did the bare minimum to have the win how he thought it would be
Mary 🏹 (19:50)
But Marlene's point is the commitment he doesn't give so if he does lose it will be fair
Lily 🌺 (19:50)
Yeah presenting it like that makes sense
Lily 🌺 (19:51)
But pls don't let Marlene do anything too much when she wins
Mary 🏹 (19:51)
Don't worry she likes dorcas she won't harm her that much
Lily 🌺 (19:51)
That much?
Mary 🏹 (19:51)
If I've learnt anything in this life is that being afraid of Marlene gives her power
Mary 🏹 (19:52)
But don't underestimate her that also gives her power
Lily 🌺 (19:52)
That sounds complicated
Mary 🏹 (19:52)
You get used to it
Lily 🌺 (19:52)
That's the thing about friendship to her honest
Lily 🌺 (19:53)
People are complicated but if you love them you can always get them better than others
Mary 🏹 (19:53)
That's true for love in general
Mary 🏹 (19:53)
In fondness there's understanding
Lily 🌺 (19:54)
Maybe one day they will grow fond of each other
Mary 🏹 (19:54)
I trust them to do so
James swiftie 💪
November 29, 2025
James swiftie 💪 (23:47)
What do you think of that?
James swiftie 💪 (23:47)
insert link
Lily 🌺 (23:48)
Omg
Lily 🌺 (23:48)
It's perfect
The professional bullshitters
November 30, 2025
Marls🍓 (08:12)
YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS
Batshit 🌿 (08:13)
I'm getting popcorn
Lily 🌺 (08:13)
Dorcas has been cursing Sirius for an hour now
Peter chill guy (08:14)
The roommates of the attendants of this bet may fetch them
Reggies bro💅 (08:15)
I demand justice
Marls🍓 (08:15)
There is justice
Marls🍓 (08:15)
Where is Dorcas
Wifey🎀 (08:16)
Why did i drag myself into this
Marls🍓 (08:16)
Peter can you do the talk pls
Peter chill guy (08:16)
Sorry dorcas
Peter chill guy (08:17)
The bet had the following rules
Peter chill guy (08:17)
At 23 of November, Sirius Orion Black the third was given a week, so until the 30th, to get a girlfriend
Mary 🏹 (08:18)
Lmao
Peter chill guy (08:18)
As far as the witnesses and me are informed, today, November 30th, Sirius Orion Black the third does not have a girlfriend
Peter chill guy (08:18)
Does anyone object to that?
Evsss🦈 (08:19)
It's too early for this shit
Reggies bro💅 (08:19)
I would object but this is purely rhetorical because SOMEONE never learnt how to lose
Peter chill guy (08:19)
Since there are no objects
Peter chill guy (08:20)
Dorcas Meadowes bet on Sirius black's success to get a female partner by the end of the week
Peter chill guy (08:20)
Marlene McKinnon bet on Sirius Black's failure to get a female partner by the end of the week
Marls🍓 (08:20)
HERE IT COMES
Wifey🎀 (08:20)
Dig me 8 feet underground
Peter chill guy (08:21)
That brings us to Marlene's win of this bet
Marls🍓 (08:21)
😎
Peter chill guy (08:21)
The stakes were:
Either party that loses will have to give her accounts passwords to the winner
Peter chill guy (08:22)
Dorcas
Wifey🎀 (08:22)
Fuck my life
Reggie 🖤 (08:22)
It's 8 in the morning are you out of your minds
Peter chill guy (08:22)
You may text what is to be texted to Marlene in private
Mary 🏹 (08:23)
May I suggest
Wifey🎀 (08:23)
Yo better help me out
Mary 🏹 (08:23)
Dorcas could get the right to change back her passwords after a certain amount of time
Reggie 🖤 (08:23)
That's the most sensible thing I've heard since yesterday
Peter chill guy (08:24)
Does any participant or witness have anything to speak against this suggestion
Marls🍓 (08:24)
Well it's fair
Wifey🎀 (08:24)
A day
Marls🍓 (08:24)
NO WAY I need more
Wifey🎀 (08:24)
3 days
Marls🍓 (08:25)
A month
Wifey🎀 (08:25)
4 days
Marls🍓 (08:25)
2 weeks
Wifey🎀 (08:25)
I refuse
Marls🍓 (08:26)
One week and it's my final offer
Wifey🎀 (08:26)
Fine
Peter chill guy (08:26)
One week it is
Peter chill guy (08:26)
Starting today ending in December 6
Wifey🎀 (08:26)
That is gonna be one hell of a torturous week
Marls🍓 (08:27)
I'll make sure for that 😘
Reggies bro💅 (08:27)
Dam I did all tgat oops
Lily 🌺 (08:27)
Okay you can all go to lessons now
Evsss🦈 (08:27)
That was some amazing 15 minutes from my life
Wifey🎀 (08:27)
Last 15 minutes of my dignity
Marls🍓 (08:28)
Go private bbg we got work to do
Candy ass🍬
November 30, 2025
Pan🍉 (21:34)
Cas why is the vampire from twilight your pfp on Tumblr
Dork (21:36)
FUCK I can't even find her she goes account to account in milliseconds
Small dick (21:37)
Looks like you're having fun
Rosier (tragic) (21:37)
I mean that might help your crush on her go away
Dork (21:37)
I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HER
Small dick (21:37)
I don't have a crush on evan either
Lils❣️ (21:38)
.
Pan🍉 (21:38)
Oh he went there
Reg (21:38)
Can you all just accept you have a love life and stop whimpering
Rosier (tragic) (21:38)
Jealous?
Lils❣️ (21:39)
So you're not denying it
Dork (21:40)
They both went offline
Pan🍉 (21:40)
Guilty move
Lils❣️ (21:40)
The only person with an actual love life in this friendgroup is pandora
Pan🍉 (21:40)
Womp womp
Dork (21:41)
Shut up
Dork (21:41)
I LEFT MARLENE UNSUPERVISED FOR 5 MINUTES AND SHE TEXTED MY NAIL TECH ON INSTA
Pan🍉 (21:41)
Relationship goals
Lils❣️ (21:41)
Hey reg you turn 22 in 2 hours and 19 minutes how are you feeling
Reg (21:41)
Thrilled
Reg (21:42)
And old
Pan🍉 (21:42)
Don't worry you will always be our little one
Lils❣️ (21:42)
That's right you're our baby
Reg (21:42)
🖕
Reg (21:43)
Pandora you're in the same year as me
Pan🍉 (21:43)
I'm 11 months older
Reg (21:43)
10 and a half
Dork (21:43)
You'll never feel old with us
Reg (21:43)
I might as well leave you
Lils❣️ (21:44)
I'm heartbroken
Pan🍉 (21:44)
Is that what we get for being good friends
Reg (21:44)
I get this helplessly accurate feeling of that one obviously gay guy in high school who had only girl friends
Reg (21:44)
And it's pretty representative considering barty and Evan are probably making out somewhere I'm just an older version of that
Reg (21:45)
Damn
Lils❣️ (21:45)
AHAHAHAHAH
Dork (21:45)
Well at least we are not straight basic “omg i want a gay bsf” girls
Pan🍉 (21:45)
Exactly you have to be grateful
Reg (21:46)
Yeah okay
Lils❣️ (21:46)
Yeah okay what
Reg (21:46)
Yeah okay I am grateful for you
Dork (21:46)
That's better
Rosier (tragic) (21:47)
WE ARE NOT MAKING OUT WTF
Pan🍉 (21:47)
I can hear you blushing from the living room
Dork (21:47)
You can what
Reg (21:47)
Evan are you being fr
Small dick (21:48)
I'm literally at my place
Pan🍉 (21:48)
No you're not you just laughed
Rosier (tragic) (21:48)
PANDORA YOU ARE NOT HELPFUL
Rosier (tragic) (21:48)
Yes we are both in my house but we didn't tell you because it wouldn't help with your assumptions
Rosier (tragic) (21:49)
Which are wrong we are not making out
Small dick (21:49)
Yet
Lils❣️ (21:49)
Don't bother actually telling us when you're together officially okay
Rosier (tragic) (21:49)
Barty I hate you
Rosier (tragic) (21:50)
All of you
Dork (21:50)
We love you too
Pan🍉
December 1, 2025
Pan🍉 (00:00)
REGGIE LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 i love you so much you are amazing I'm so grateful for you in my life I wish you the best forever you're my best friend ever i hope i get to be your friend forever I wish you the best day and the best life I love you so so so so so so so so so so much happy birthday baby
Bitch brother🖕💩
December 1, 2025
Bitch brother🖕💩 (00:00)
Happy birthday little shit
Small dick
December 1, 2025
Small dick (00:00)
Happy birthday Reggie I wish you enough luck for your life to be blessed with a best friend like me in it every day and maybe a boyfriend (?) you need that bro but yeah happy birthday seriously now you're great we love you
Lils❣️
December 1, 2025
Lils❣️ (00:00)
Reggie baby happy birthday (your 22nd is gonna be your lucky one I can feel it) Happy birthday I love you tons you are one of the most important people in my life and in so many others’ too never forget that
I wish the best birthday ever to our baby I will attack you tomorrow to wish you in person until then HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Dork
December 1, 2025
Dork (00:00)
REGULUSSSSSS HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOY I CANT BELIEVE OUR LITTLE BABY IS GROWING UP you used to be a little lost boy when I adopted you look at you an all grown man now I love you tons boy have a happy birthday (I'll make sure for that)
Rosier (tragic)
December 1, 2025
Rosier (tragic) (00:01)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY regulus arcturus black you are such a meaningful addition to humanity we almost tolerate you 🙃🙃🙃 okay jk you are fine I like you and hey have faith at 22 you might grow an inch! happy birthday either way we love you even a meter tall 💞
James dumbass
December 1, 2025
James dumbass (00:00)
REGGIE HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
The professional bullshitters
December 1, 2025
Mary (00:00)
Happy birthday regulus!
Marlene (00:01)
HAPPY BIRTHDUA 🎁🫵🤌🫵🤌👆🔥🥳💯🥳🥹😍🥹💯🥳😊🎂🥳🎊💯🏳️🌈🥳🎊✌️💯🎊💤🎂🥹👌🏳️🌈🤓😎🎁😎🎁😘🌙🌙😊🙃🎁🏳️🌈🎁🙃🏳️🌈👌🎁🙃🏳️🌈🙃🎁🏳️🌈👌🌟
Mary (00:01)
You just keysmashed your recents didn't you
Remus (relatable) (00:01)
Happy birthday regulus
Peter (00:02)
Sorry I'm late HAPPY BIRTHDAY
The professional bullshitters
December 1, 2025
Reg (14:21)
Thanks everyone 🙃
You
Reg (14:21)
I was sleeping at 12 yesterday so sorry I didn't reply ig
Marlene (14:22)
We forgive you
Reg (14:22)
Thanks?
Lils❣️ (14:23)
Hey reg come by my house there's something for you here
Reg (14:23)
Oh no
Reg (14:23)
You all have something to do with this
Mary (14:23)
Hehehehhe
Bitch brother🖕💩 (14:24)
You wont know until you see
Rosier (tragic) (14:39)
(Insert picture)
Mary (14:40)
AWWWWW
Peter (14:40)
That was the reaction we were seeking
Dork (14:46)
(Insert video)
Marlene (14:46)
This is gold
Remus (relatable) (14:47)
Peak
Peter (14:47)
YOU GUYS HAVE A CAT
Pan🍉 (14:47)
Yeahhh regulus does his name is leo
Mary (14:47)
He's so cute omg
Marlene (14:48)
I want to eat it
Small dick (14:48)
You still eat cats?
Dork (14:48)
STILL?
Reg (14:52)
YOU ARE ALL CRAZY
Reg (14:52)
This is perfect thanks guys
Bitch brother🖕💩 (14:53)
Ypure welcome
Reg (14:53)
Not you
Reg (14:53)
“Brat sibling” t shirt very meaningful
Mary (14:53)
We want footage of that too
Reg (14:54)
It's too cold for a t shirt
Reg (14:54)
But really apart from Sirius it was amazing guys
Remus (relatable) (14:54)
Glad it was we were worried about it tbh
Mary (14:54)
Yeah we had our doubts
Bitch brother🖕💩 (14:55)
I didn't they are the anxiety freaks
Reg (14:55)
Or (hot take) you lack brain cells that trigger emotions
Reg (14:55)
But really you didn't have to it was amazing
Bitch brother🖕💩 (14:55)
Fuck yourself Reggie
Bitch brother🖕💩 (14:55)
I should have got you the how to get laid guide but it would probably be useless anyway
Reg (14:56)
You should have got it for yourself
Reg (14:56)
Self care starts from the little things
Remus (relatable) (14:56)
Sorry to interrupt but Sirius you have practicals
Bitch brother🖕💩 (14:56)
FUCK YES I DO
Bitch brother🖕💩 (14:57)
Thanks Moony
Mary (14:57)
You would fall apart without Remus
Remus (relatable) (14:57)
Yes he would
Peter (14:57)
Wouldn't we all
Lils❣️ (14:57)
It's the ✨️remus✨️ effect
Peter (14:58)
I'll be using that
Lils❣️ (14:58)
You better
James dumbass
December 1, 2025
Reg (15:03)
Hey
Reg (15:03)
I needed to say your gift is actually good
James dumbass (16:38)
BIRTHDAY BOY HI
James dumbass (16:38)
Sorry I didn't text earlier my schedule today was deadly
Reg (16:40)
It's okay
James dumbass (16:40)
YOU LIKE MY GIFT
Reg (16:40)
Yep
James dumbass (16:41)
I'm so glad
James dumbass (16:41)
I had a vague idea of what I wanted to get you and when I found it I knew I could really see you in that
Reg (16:41)
Yeah it is kinda me
Reg (16:41)
Well definitely me
James dumbass (16:42)
I won 😩😩😩
James dumbass (16:42)
Will I get a picture
Reg (16:42)
Maybe
Reg (16:42)
Not yet
James dumbass (16:43)
Fair enough
James dumbass (16:43)
What are your plans for today
Reg (16:43)
Well for most of the day I'm leaving it to my friends because they have planned some stuff
Reg (16:43)
Gifts, cake, invading in my apartment again and decorating it, putting birthday hats on my cat
Reg (16:44)
It's gonna be between close friends for most of the day
James dumbass (16:44)
That actually sounds so cute you guys understood the assignment
Reg (16:44)
Well it looks good
Reg (16:44)
But every year on my birthday I owe them a night at the bar
Reg (16:45)
I just hope I'll get drunk soon enough not to remember any of it the next day
James dumbass (16:45)
Or you could enjoy it?
Reg (16:45)
That's my idea of enjoying
James dumbass (16:45)
Well nobody's perfect
Reg (16:46)
Are you roasting me
James dumbass (16:46)
Not at all
Reg (16:46)
Yeah very convincing
Reg (16:46)
Oh shit the party animals are here
James dumbass (16:47)
Lol
Reg (16:47)
I gotta go
James dumbass (16:47)
Ttyl
James dumbass (16:47)
Wow I never thought I would use
Notes:
The gift James got regulus is a very specific hoodie I visualized in my head, it's black and in the back there's a picture of a vandalized Mona Lisa with police tape writing "under investigation". I wanted to combine regs artistic featured and his love for true crime podcasts and yeah this is how I would do it if I was james. Also regulus did reply to all the private happy bday messages I just wanted to focus on them individually. He's not mean or bad guys don't villainise Reggie he's a human with feelings too
The_ace_bean_Teo on Chapter 7 Sat 27 Sep 2025 08:42PM UTC
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Regulus1 on Chapter 8 Sat 04 Oct 2025 12:44PM UTC
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liliesinmoonlight on Chapter 8 Sat 04 Oct 2025 01:20PM UTC
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