Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Shit hits the fan during a recording session, of all things.

It’s not like Felix is even moving around or trying particularly hard at his lines, he’s singing his lines the same way he sang yesterday. Sure, he’d had a fairly strenuous dance session, but not something that would explain this burning in his abdomen. He tries to say something, but the most he can manage are little pained huffs. The track cuts off.

”--lix? Hey, are you–”

Everything’s hazy, and he has to feel around for the stool they keep in the booth to avoid tipping into the mic instead. “These mics cost a fortune, so ask me if anything needs adjusting,” Chan had said all those years ago, in his familiarly accented English. Chan’s speaking in English and Korean now, cutting back and forth like they usually do together.

“--gonna be okay, alright? Breathe, please, you’re looking kind of gray? Hey! Can I get so–”

Four months before everything goes horribly wrong, Felix spends a rare mid-comeback day off with Minho. 

“Head back, yes, perfect, Yongbokkie. This will be a little cold, alright?” 

He keeps his head tilted back, scrunching his nose at the feeling of cool, thick gel being rubbed into his scent glands and unable to stop himself from slowly drawing his body back. 

“I know, I know, almost done. Yah, Kim Seungmin! Take the jackets hung by the door out and spray them! Do a thorough job this time.”

“I’m sorry,” Felix says when he feels his hyung’s hands slow, “It just feels so– bad. Horrible. Thank you for doing it again.” If anyone could understand, Felix guessed it would be his fellow omega.

A hand tilts his head down so Minho can press a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

“Shhh, it’s nothing. Anyway, I’ll grab the coverings, then let’s get our jackets on so we can get done and come back as soon as possible.”

Seungmin comes back in, laying the dancers’ freshly un-scented jackets across the back of their couch and taking Minho’s place. He rubs circles into Felix’s palm as he uses his free hand to gently tuck a few hairs that had slipped from their ponytail back. “I’ll grab a hat for you too, just in case. Maybe one of Innie’s.”

“Does he have any normal, subtle, not screaming-for-attention ones at this point?”

“Hyung, you’re wearing my shoes. You have no right to complain.”

Felix jumps as he feels something be pulled onto his head. He lifts a hand up to feel a beanie. He hadn’t developed eyes on his fingers in the past ten seconds, so he unfortunately can’t tell what color it is, but he doesn’t feel any embroidered design, which is promising. 

Seungmin’s fingers begin retucking his hair. “Ugh, you couldn’t have found something clean?”

Probably his black dance practice beanie, then. Felix feels envious of Seungmin’s nose. All he can smell is the chemicals from the blocker smeared on his neck.

“Head up again,” he closes his eyes as Minho gently pats a paper wrap over the gel on his left side, pressing the adhesive edge into his skin. He counts down as it’s repeated for his right side. How could five seconds feel like such an eternity?

Felix hates being like this, the only one in the group who struggles with the scent-blocking gels they were sometimes required to use for doctors or company-mandated specialists’ ease in partial removal. He had grown used to the scent patches they normally used, so he supposed maybe if they had to use the gel more often he could as well, but the scent patches were just as horrible early on. Especially with the wreck he was post-presentation…

All that to say, normally Felix would flourish under the care of his three housemates carefully pulling his jacket on and looping a face mask through his ears, stroking along his cheeks and upper back to keep him calm, and quietly humming. As it is, Felix knows he’s about two seconds away from some sort of freakout if they didn’t move out the door immediately. He’s pretty sure they do too. If his brain was being rational, he’d probably recognize the hurriedness of their movements between their touches. It’s not, but he doesn’t need a mirror to tell that his face is rapidly becoming a grimace. 

“I left the rice cooker on, as long as you eat within the next hour it should be okay. Come here, Yongbok-ah, the car should be arriving. Check the fridge, do not make a mess of my kitchen again. Watch the step, honey.”

The drive over is annoying. Somehow it’s impossible to lean into his hyung’s side in a way that doesn’t disrupt the paper of the blocker wrap and avoids pulling at his back, so he has to content himself with clicking through random colorful games on his phone and trying to dissociate. 

He notices Minho typing on his phone, probably texting Chan. Maybe once they were done Minho would help sneak him over to the other dorm and he could curl up in Chan’s lap. They’d still be stuck in the living room, probably, since apparently no one was willing to forget that one, single time they– Yeah, he couldn’t blame them.

The living room had its advantages. Changbin would settle next to Chan and gently rub Felix’s scalp and Jisung might snuggle into his side, assuming he wasn’t busy tripping over himself to get to Minho, and Hyunjin would sit on the floor so they could press their wrists together, and no one would have scent blockers on. The only thing that would improve it would be their two youngest, but maybe they could sneak out too…

Finally, before Felix loses it to the point of trying to jump out the car door and blindly run to the other dorm, the car reaches its location: Gangdong Hematology Center and Fertility Clinic. It seemed like a stupid name for a place that mainly seemed to do birth control, but maybe it was for funding reasons or to prevent attacks for being a predominantly omega clinic. 

Minho checks that his mask and hood are fully up then guides him out of the car and briskly up the stairs. The benefit to being part of a big company was that they could schedule their check in time in advance, so they’re able to pass straight through the lobby with a nurse. 

“Sit here, okay Yongbok-ah?” Minho leads him to the plastic chair sitting by the side of the room and pats his head. “I hope you don’t mind starting with me? My packmate gets stressed.”

“Lee… Minho-ssi, correct? Hop up here, I’ll get started.”

Felix feels himself drifting slightly, but keeps his eyes on his hyung as the nurse checks his vitals, draws a small syringe of blood, and examines and swabs his glands. 

“Lee Yongbok-ssi, if you’re ready?” 

He takes Minho’s place, perched on a covered padded bench. Minho rubs at his wrist, and he feels himself relax a bit, even as they run through the same tests on him. They go fine, although he does shudder through his own gland examination.

“The doctor will be in shortly, although preliminarily everything looks fine.” 

Shortly does apparently mean shortly for once, and a smiley, middle aged man knocks and enters not thirty seconds later. Felix doesn’t recognize him, but that was true of most of the staff. They seemed to cycle constantly. 

“Afternoon, good to see you two!” He settles in a spinning chair. “Let’s see… Ahhh, okay. I will go over your checkup results, and then you two are both due for your suppressants, which… hmmmm.”

Hmmmm is never a promising thing to hear a doctor say. 

“Yongbok-ssi, the suppressant we have you on at the moment was recently recalled. Ahhh, and you were moved off the standard because of symptoms, hmmmm…”

Felix feels his body fall through the bench, pulled down through layers of flooring and cement and soil into the molten core of the Earth. He dissolves, even as he sits very still and stares at the doctor. He was moved off the standard medication after he began taking pain medication for his back. Thankfully, there was a relatively new treatment available, so he could receive his dosage of suppressant every couple of months and go to practices and shows and be a kpop idol. 

“--anything at all we could do?” Minho sounds frantic. “Could he get back on the standard? Just until it’s back?”

“Oh, no, he’s marked as ineligible in the system and it would take a lot of effort to bypass that.”

Is it possible to spontaneously combust? He was an omega, he was too much of a liability off suppressants. His stupid body and his stupid injury and his stupid mind for even thinking he could do what he loved, after all he–

“Is there a different treatment we could do, or could he just take the daily suppressant pills for a bit?” Minho’s standing, arms wrapped around him. Felix didn’t notice him move.

“No, that wouldn’t be safe, those really are emergency use only.”

Felix can feel tears start to form. He sniffs and Minho turns to him. He ducks his head.

“Please, is there anything at all?” Felix had never heard him this scared, except that time when he was eliminated, and that one time when Chan…

“Let me– Oh! Actually, it is your lucky day. There’s a new treatment I could squeeeeeze you into. This one would be every month instead, which looking at your chart does not seem ideal, unfortunately, but if I… Okay! If you come in as normal, I can send you home with a dose. Discretely. I’m really not supposed to be doing this, but I understand the pressures you’re under. Let me go fetch a nurse, Minho-ssi, and then I will be back for Yongbok-ssi.”

Felix sits in shock, remembering all those years he spent praying before bed. Maybe that was all worth it. Minho, meanwhile, uses his own sleeve to wipe Felix’s face dry of tears. His own eyes look red too. Felix feels a rush of affection and love for his hyung so strong he has to clench his fists so he doesn't wrap his entire body around him and explode into confetti or something.

He feels calmer as a nurse comes to inject Minho’s standard (because he's not a loser like Felix) suppressant. The doctor returns, giving them clear instructions to keep the second dosage refrigerated and hidden, before injecting Felix with his first dose. It goes in easy.

When Felix wakes up, it is to Seungmin’s warm body pressed against his as they lie face to face on the recording room couch, hints of the beta’s sweet lavender scent drifting lazily around the room from where he’s peeled the edges of his scent patch up. Felix is grateful. 

“Lix? Hey. Do you remember what happened?” 

“Nnnnngh,” is what comes out instead of no. He can feel Seungmin’s fingers on his shoulder, his left one. It aches slightly. It’s a nicer ache than he can feel in the rest of his body. 

“Wait here a second, I’ll grab some water.” 

Felix slowly pushes himself so he can slump across the arm rest of the couch, pausing to let the blood flow from his head. He drags himself up so his back is supported.

“Slow sips, okay?” Seungmin’s brows are drawn tight as he kneels beside him. Large, warm hands guide the cup to his mouth. His mouth feels off, like he’s piloting a character in a video game, but after a couple messy sips he coordinates his senses enough to remerge with his body. 

Felix sits up, Seungmin supporting him. “What happened? I remember recording… something. Did I faint?”

Seungmin stares into his eyes. “Have you been fainting?” The switch to English sparks a hint of panic in Felix; Seungmin speaks in English the most when he thinks Felix is too out of it for Korean. Normally, he’d appreciate it. Now, it feels distinctly pointed.

“No– no. No, I just feel weird. Like, you know when you take a really good nap, and you wake up and everything tastes like dust and your head is all fuzzy? Like we used to do when we wanted to play League with my home friends so we’d stay awake at night, you know?”

Seungmin just stares. Felix tries a final ploy. “Can we still go for lunch? I know I left you waiting longer than expected, but you have until three, right?” 

He sighs. “Nope, I am taking you to get checked out by the company doctor, as soon as you’re able to walk to the elevator without keeling over. Then I’m taking you home, watching you eat a full plate of food, and leaving you with someone before I go to my lesson, because I don’t trust you right now.” 

The way he says it isn’t unkind, just tired and a little sad.

“I ate breakfast this morning, and I ate yesterday too. I really did!” Felix says, watching Seungmin’s eyebrow raise. “Come on, man, the pain meds take me out otherwise.”

Seungmin looks him up and down, slowly. “Take you out?”

“I meant in my stomach! It hurts. Not, like, fainting or anything,” Felix pouts.

“Okay,” Seungmin says, clearly unconvinced. “Let’s just get you downstairs.”

It’s a long walk down the hall to the elevator. Felix’s body is waking back up, but slowly, and he has to rely on Seungmin to support most of his weight. He’s grateful the beta is larger than him. 

“I’m sorry, I really did eat this morning. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Felix pants, when they eventually make it into the elevator. It beeps for each floor they go down, four…… three…

Seungmin brings his head to rest on his shoulder, rubbing his knuckles over his scent glands softly, just enough to comfort. “Hey, it’s okay. You just… You make me worry. A lot.” 

The elevator beeps as it stops. They’ve hit the first floor. “I love you, yeah?”

“I love you, Lix.”

Seungmin stays with him as the company doctor checks his weight (Seungmin asks if she can just tell him, but Felix still hears her murmur that it’s higher than expected. Felix has to look down, torn between vindication and shame), blood glucose level (completely normal), and eyes (no irregularities, responsive to light), as well as look in his chart for any discrepancies or changes. His temperature is slightly high, but not enough to worry her.

She asks him how far along on “his cycle” he is, but in an odd tone that paired with her muscles suggests to him she is likely an alpha. He tells her, looking down at the floor, even though he’s sure that’s marked in his file. At least she asks him instead of Seungmin, he supposes. 

“I think it’s best we start doing these tests a bit more frequently, just to keep an eye on you, but it really doesn’t seem like anything is wrong with you, Yongbok-ssi. You’re up to date on your suppressants and haven’t had issues in the past, you’re evidently eating enough, you don’t seem concussed. I’ll get you on some electrolites, just make sure you stay hydrated and eat lots of protein, alright?” 

Felix agrees, smiling and nodding, as they stand to leave. His body feels better now, still a little achy but much more present than it was before. However, as they head outside, he freezes. 

“Sorry, doctor, I have one question– the long-term suppressants, the omega ones,” he tries to slow himself down, annunciate his Korean so she’ll take him seriously, “there are just two types, right?”

“Ah, yes… There are two prescription-grade types right now, the standard and the one you are on. They keep coming out with new ones every couple years, but they usually don’t make it past the clinical stages. Are you having an issue with your suppressant?” Her eyes bore into him.

“No! No, I– it’s fine. I was just– wondering.” He pulls Seungmin out the door with one final goodbye, shutting the door behind him. Seungmin opens his mouth, but Felix waves a hand.

“Later, alright? Once we’re back home.”

Their driver waves to them as they shut the car door, shouting thanks. Seungmin stays slightly behind him as they walk back home and helps him when he briefly misses the lock with his key. Felix feels like some stupid little kid, but he loves when he gets Seungmin like this, so he bears it. They pull off their scent patches, ignoring that they’re supposed to keep them on for the full day in favor of being able to drink each other in. After they’re bundled together on their couch, all knotted legs and arms bracing large bowls of soup, Seungmin gestures for him to speak.

“So, you know how I’m on that new suppressant? The one hyung injects sometimes?” Seungmin nods. “My last dose was three days ago, and I haven’t felt well since then. So…” 

“You think it could be the suppressant.”

“Yep, and I–”

“Eat and talk.”

“It’s hot!”

“Here,” Seungmin blows on his spoonful, then feeds it to him. “Good?”

“Mmmmmmmm… Thanks Minnie.” He kisses his jaw and gets a kiss on his nose in response. “Anyway, I’m on a new one because apparently my old one is gone now? I can’t get it. And since I can’t do the standard one because of the whole thing with my pain meds, I have to be on this one. If I’m– here, see! I’m eating.” He swallows a hot bite of chicken and noodles and has to huff out the steam before continuing. “If I get disqualified for this one too… That’s it.” Felix feels his fingers give out, and his spoon falls into the bowl with a light splash. 

“Oh my god. Seungminnie, that’s actually it for me.” 

“Lix…”

“Minnie, if I can’t be on suppressants, I can’t be an idol. They’ll fire me. They’ll… I’ll have to go back to Australia. My work visa won’t apply anymore. And they’ll never let me back here. Since I’m an omega. A stupid, dumb omega, with a stupid, dumb body that just wants to ruin my fucking life!” Felix felt his tears start to run.

“You’re not stupid or dumb. You’re my best friend, and I love you. Come here,” Seungmin set his bowl onto the table too and opened his arms. He only huffs a little when Felix launches himself into him. “That’s… a serious issue, but it’s going to be okay, I’m sure we can figure something out. Maybe there’s something else you can take with it, to sort it out, and if nothing else, we can try more pain meds again, since you’re almost up for re-evaluation for the standard suppressants?” 

Felix nods, rubbing his eyes into Seungmin’s shirt.

“She did also say I was running a little high, maybe it’s just… a fever. My body has been aching a little.”

“Come on, sit up for me. Whatever’s happening won’t get any worse by you eating lunch.”

Minho comes home to Felix draped across Seungmin, purring slightly as they both sleep. He’s happy to see two empty bowls sitting on the table in front of them. He was worried when his manager told him to head back home after dance practice, but the warm, sleepy scents of vanilla and lavender greatly overpower the slight off smell he can barely catch.

“Kim Seungmin, wake up,” if Minho shakes Seungmin gently, it’s totally because he doesn’t want to disturb Felix. Definitely not because his puppy always looks adorable when he’s asleep. And if he has a spark of regret that he didn’t snap a picture of him before his eyes opened, that’s simply out of wanting to have dirt on him. 

Felix is fully knocked out for once, so he’s able to slide him off fairly easily, especially after Seungmin starts helping. 

“Seungmin-ah, what happened? The managers and Chan-hyung are being tight-lipped. Did something happen again? Did Chan–”

“No, hyung, Felix passed out during a recording. I took him to the doctor already, nothing was wrong. But he was weirdly shaky even after he woke up, he couldn’t use his key to get in. I think it scared hyung, he called me in and ran away. I thought he was calling a doctor but no one showed up, so…”

Minho hums and sits next to Felix. His long hair is tangled, but otherwise he looks fine, the same beautiful man they live with. 

Minho grabs Seungmin’s jacket. “You need to get going for your lesson. The car should still be outside, you might be able to get there just on time if you run.”

Seungmin sends him a disgruntled look but stands still as Minho pulls his jacket on (Seungmin takes a long inhale of his scent as he does, Minho notes) before he runs out the door. Minho watches his legs flex appreciatively until he’s out of sight.

Minho puts their bowls in the dishwasher and peels off his own scent patches. He returns to the living room, only to find Felix sitting up.

“Hi, hyung.”

“Hey, Yongbok-ah,” he leans in to rub their necks together, smiling as it sets them both off purring. “Kim Seungmin told me about what happened. How are you doing?”

“Ugh, achey. Still a little dizzy. It’s not bad, I just feel a little off. I’m sorry to drag you home.” Minho shushes him, pulling him into his arms on the couch. He notes the slight warmth of his forehead and the way he still seems a little hazy. 

“It’s not your heat, right?” 

Their suppressants gave them heats that were mostly removed, but the symptoms still leached through, sometimes giving them unrelenting pain and fevers. 

Minho had very strong feelings about the whole thing, considering that non-long term suppressants lessened the side effects, at the small cost of a yearly heat or two, and other secondary designations weren’t even required to use suppressants in the industry.

 He knew the rest of the group felt weird about it too, to varying degrees. Half the time it seemed like the only one who didn’t was his fellow omega, but he suspected it was really just out of trying to hide any hurt feelings. Minho understood that impulse.

“Nope, I got through the last one so that’s not due for a while.” 

“Sometimes changing suppressants can throw things off, Bok-ah.”

Felix turns to fully face him. “Hyung, I’ve been on these new suppressants for a while. Wouldn’t anything… new have happened already?”

His hands are balled. Minho reaches out to relax them. “Hey, what happened last time won’t happen again, okay? He’s–”

“It’s not about that.” Felix still looks a little anxious, but now he’s sad too, his scent bursting in the way it does when he’s about to cry, or run out of the room, or rarely cuss someone out.

Minho kisses him, gently, until he sweetens again. His cherry blossom wafts out as well, mixing with Seungmin’s lavender and the hints of Jeongin still left in the room.

“I’m sorry, Yongbok-ah. I know you asked me not to assume, you’re just… mine to worry about.” He kisses his left shoulder as well, feeling that familiar urge to wrap his poor baby up in a blanket and take off to somewhere outside Seoul.

“It’s okay, I’m just a little stressed and a little scared from earlier.” Felix pauses, and Minho waits for him to finish. “Is it bad… Hyung, is it bad if I really hate being an omega? I just– I figure something out, I make it work, only for everything to come crashing down. I’m really scared.”

Minho holds him a little tighter, like squeezing him can somehow wring out everything that’s happened. Everything that’s been done to him. Like he could squeeze out the disgusting alpha-ness of the world they were living in until he was back to his happy, glowing self.

Minho does not tell him that when Felix presented, he cried. He cursed out whatever god might be out there for somehow making the both of them omega. 

Minho instead says, “I know, it’s hard sometimes. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come,” and plans to call Chan later.

Chapter Text

Over the next three weeks, Felix gets better. The dizziness lessens early on and he’s left with what he assumes are his normal aches and pains. It doesn’t hurt that his dorm is being much more caring than usual, and his other groupmates are clearly picking up on it. 

One night, Minho makes him a nearly-scalding bath and, with only minimal puppy eyes, climbs in behind him. Minho even got the same expensive hair treatment Hyunjin always used to use, and so for a good twenty minutes, surrounded by steam and his omega hyung, he can imagine they’re back to living in that little home all together. 

Minho offers to stay with him for the rest of the night, but Minho's bag is packed like he's planning to stay the night with Jisung. Instead, Felix makes sure they’re both thoroughly rescented before he (also thoroughly) kisses Minho goodbye.

When he turns back from the door, more than a little winded, he finds Jeongin standing in the living room behind him, blushing and visibly frozen to the spot. Whatever expression Felix is making evidently does not help, since Jeongin’s slightly sour apple scent darkens into something dark and hot, and suddenly Felix can’t move either. 

Seungmin makes a bleugh noise and opens a window from where he’s sitting, but Felix catches a bit of his scent too before he does, sharp and interested. They make it a Bokseungah night instead.

Jeongin’s always a little clingy the morning after. Since Felix wakes up first, he decides to get started on some pancakes for the three of them before he’s unable to. He feels unpleasantly ache-y and yearns to stretch, but it still sucks to have to remove himself from their pile on Jeongin’s bed. It smells sweet and rich and so much like them.

Felix doesn’t want to leave their little scent bubble quite yet, so he uses Jeongin’s ensuite bathroom instead of his own. His urine is darker than usual. Gross. His pain meds do that sometimes, so he just turns to himself in the mirror, points sternly, and says, “drink lots of water today,” while he washes his hands. 

Jeongin has a couple of face washes, so he uses one that sounds like it fits his skin type. He notices what could be the start of a pimple on the side of his nose and whispers a reminder to use a hydrocolloid patch on that too. 

Felix finally leaves the room. He shivers with the chill he instantly feels, though whether that’s because of the lack of the scents in the hallway or that there were three men crammed in Jeongin’s room is anyone’s guess. He quickly closes the door behind him. 

After Felix brushes his teeth, he uses a mix to whip up some pancakes. A few weeks ago, Felix bulk ordered some pancake mix. Minho cornered him after it arrived and told him to “use it up as soon as possible, or that will be all you eat for a month.” Normally he could get out of it, but Minho had apparently pulled a muscle trying to lug the box inside, so in that moment he was not the infallible angel his hyung normally saw him as. 

All that to say, he’s been trying to use the mix whenever possible. 

Felix contemplates their pantry, torn between the different ingredients he could mix in, before he shrugs. Why not simply throw a little bit of everything in? 

It takes him a while, especially when he finds the food coloring as well, so he’s only halfway through ladling out the second batch when Seungmin comes stumbling out. 

Seungmin yawns as he stretches his arms up like a cat, and Felix pauses his ladling to watch his shirt ride up a bit, showing the lean abdomen Jeongin had scratched up and those hipbones he’d–

The contents of the ladle splat onto the griddle, halfway on top of another pancake. What’s done is done, he thinks stoically. They will simply have a megapancake. 

Seungmin wraps his arms around his waist and leans in to take a deep inhale against his neck, pressing Felix to the counter away from the griddle. Felix shivers and leans back a bit, as he feels himself warm all the way down. One of his large hands starts to pet downwards from his waist. They could continue with what they’d started the last time they were left alone in the kitchen, when Seungmin bent Felix over the dining room table and–

“Is something burning?” Jeongin says.

“NO!” Felix screams, throwing his arms back and sending Seungmin stumbling, “MY MEGAPANCAKE!”

Seungmin audibly sighs behind him as Felix scrambles to try to save the (blackened) megapancake.

“Is nothing holy? Is nothing sacred? Are we not allowed to experience joy in this world?” Felix falls to his knees and dramatically outstretches his hands to the heavens.

“I’m asking the same question,” Seungmin says, in a much more put-out tone.

“It’s alright, hyung!” Jeongin falls to his knees beside him and clasps one hand in his. “Our God has given us abundance! We can make a new megapancake!”

“Innie! Grab the edible glitter and the novelty glitter candy melts. We are going to make the megapancake to end all megapancakes! In His honor!”

“This feels like sacrilege. No, don’t give me that face," Seungmin says as they both turn to him as if he has brought the devil himself into their house. He sighs. “Whatever, just make the megapancake.”

Two failed (but thankfully still edible) attempts later, they successfully plate their megapancake on a handful of paper towels set on the table, as none of their plates in the house are big enough to hold its mass. 

“Gentlemen, I present to you... the megapancake!” Felix says in a terrible British accent. They only have one set of chopsticks and one random fork, since they didn’t run the dishwasher the night before out of… preoccupation with other endeavors, and none of them are willing to fish around in the sink for one to wash, but that’s okay because the three of them have certainly done worse than share utensils. Besides, Felix likes using his hands to eat pancakes sometimes. 

They use the fork to cut off three large slabs of megapancake. 

“Wait,” Seungmin says.

“Yes, Minnie?” Felix says as he uncaps the syrup bottle.

“If we pour the syrup on the pancake, it’ll probably get on the table, since it can go through the paper towel. It probably has like a million grams of sugar with all the colors and… textures… I can see, even you probably don’t need syrup.” 

“ I think as long as we’re careful pouring, it will probably be fine,” Felix says, beginning to pour. Seungmin raises an eyebrow at where he’s overturned the syrup bottle and syrup is slowly beginning to pour off the edge of his pancake chunk. Felix pulls the bottle back and drops his head to lick the syrup up before it can get on the table.

“I think Felix-hyung’s right, it’s okay,” Jeongin sounds like he’s about three seconds from ascending, staring at Felix. Seungmin just gives him a look that says come on, man and fans his nose. Jeongin is too busy staring to notice.

“Wait!” Felix rushes back to their cabinets. “I figured out the solution!” 

When he slides back over to his members dramatically brandishing a plate, he’s disappointed to find Jeongin looking at him with sad eyes and Seungmin leaning back to inhale deeply rather than the awed and amazed expressions he was expecting. He supposes they simply have not connected the dots yet, and grabs the syrup, upending it over the plate until it fully covers it and is at risk of overflowing over the edges.

“Voila,” he says, with a French accent this time, because he is speaking French.

“Why didn’t we just put our individual servings onto plates?” Jeongin asks. “If we’re not going to have a Lady-and-the-Tramp moment anyway, why not just do that?”

“How would we even do that, have each of us gnaw through it until we hit each other? That sounds gross.”

“Well, I thought we could–”

“Shhhhhhhhhh,” Felix pushes out a burst of strong vanilla, enough to settle the other two down. “It’s time to eat the megapancake.” 

Minho returns home to the three of them still seated at the table, sitting in what he could only describe as reverence and slowly chewing. (He notes the tone of scents and how they seem to all be leading toward the maknae’s room. Interesting. He stops his thought process there before it can spiral into something more visual.) 

They all turn to watch as Minho comes into the dining room and peers into his kitchen, noting that the griddle has thankfully been unplugged but there are at least three plates of pancakes sitting on the counters around the room in addition to whatever monstrosity is sitting on his kitchen table, probably sweating oil and whatever is making it that color into the wood. He’s more concerned by the fact that they seem to have been eating it. 

Felix’s lips and fingertips look slightly blue, but that appears to be because of the wadded ball (of… dough?) he’s holding in his hands and nibbling on. Minho thinks he might be able to see a piece of dried mango sticking out of it. He looks gross, but cute. Minho looks away before he starts chewing on him or something.

Seungmin’s piece is flat and he can guess it’s some sort of approximation of a pancake slice. He keeps pulling little bits of charred matter out of it. 

Seungmin shrugs. “They wanted to honor the original by including it in this one.” Minho doesn’t question it.

Jeongin is, in classic Jeongin fashion, gobbling down pancakes. Normal pancakes. He also shrugs. “I was eating too much of the megapancake too fast so I’m eating these until Minnie and Lixie have caught up.”

“Do you want some?” Felix asks, already reaching for what appears to be the only utensil on the table, a single chopstick, which also happens to be sticking out of Kim Seungmin’s mouth. Minho declines.

At least whatever monstrosity this is appears to have resulted in less damage than the last time he got home to Felix and Seungmin, mostly naked and trying to put out the fire they had caused in the toaster. He really needed to get Jeongin to help enforce the daengnyangz kitchen ban. 

At least Felix seemed happy again. He’d been pretty sad since the day he fainted, so Minho was happy that their bath and a bit of time with the younger members seemed to perk him up. He’s also happy to see him eating. Even if the problem this time isn’t a restrictive diet, Felix always seems a little disordered, so even if he’s currently eating a frighteningly blue glob of sugar, it’s likely good for him.

Minho heads into the kitchen to grab a bowl (did they use a plate to serve syrup? They could have at least used a bowl) and spoon for some cereal, only to find the entire utensil drawer empty. He turns to the dishwasher, only to find it dirty. The dishwasher he had told them to unload before he left. “Yah!” He yelled into the dining room, which suddenly sounded much quieter. “You three better–”

That afternoon, after putting away the rest of the megapancake and normal pancakes, reloading the dishwasher, and going through the horror of trying to fish out any other utensils that may have fallen down into their drain (they found a spoon as well as one disposable chopstick someone had clearly gnawed in half. Seungmin did not find it funny when they both turned to him and asked, does puppy need a new stick?. In Seungmin’s opinion, it was probably actually Jeongin who did it. Felix conveniently kept the fact that he was pretty sure he was the person responsible a secret.), Felix goes out with Changbin and Hyunjin.

It’s been a while since he’s seen them. Sure, they see each other plenty within the company building, but that’s for work. It’s weird. Normally, he’d go to the sauna with Changbin at least every other month and he’d get lunch or go to an event with Hyunjin just as frequently. His current crumminess and Minho’s apparent belief that he is made of glass have prevented that. He’s excited to see them again.

Before he heads out, he spends a while choosing an outfit. Although they were usually able to go out in peace, they were still recognized often enough for him to take care in choosing something that would disguise him, including his hair. He compromises on leaving a few strands out in the front since Hyunjin always found it cute and covering his eyes with some plain black sunglasses to split the difference. 

After he dresses, he takes the time to brush his teeth again and sprays on just a hint of cologne, the vaguely vanilla-scented one Changbin said he liked because it reminded him of Felix (he would have sprayed more if Seungmin wasn’t standing threateningly three feet away holding a baseball. Curse his strong nose). He slaps on his scent patches and then adds a couple of rings to his fingers. Then he races out to the car, excited to see his members. 

When his driver pulls up to their apartment, he spots them waiting at the gate. He opens the car door and throws himself towards them, laughing as Changbin catches him and gently twists him around.

“Hyung! Jinnie! I missed you guys!”

Changbin uses his arms (his very large arms, Felix would like to add, arms that he would very much like to feel around his–) to bring him in closer for a hug, and nuzzles their heads together. Their glands and heads are both covered, but Felix still feels that sensation of closeness and comfort from having his members’ scents on him. He purrs a little. 

“You really did, huh, Yongbok?” Changbin murmurs, sounding a little sad, before he changes tone. “Wait, can I smell both Seungmin and Y–”

“Stop hogging Feeeelix!” Hyunjin emphasizes the beginning of his name, as always. He moves to hug Hyunjin too, and enjoys the feeling of hugging a tall person, at least until Hyunjin worms his way under Felix’s neck. Then he enjoys the fresh scent of Hyunjin’s hair, fruity with the overlaying scent of his treatment. Felix’s smile grows as he realizes they match. 

As predicted, Hyunjin coos over his hair when they pull back and Changbin is left with the task of guiding them over to the car so the driver doesn’t have to idle. Felix squishes himself into the middle seat, filled with joy at the thought of getting a whole afternoon with two of the members he doesn’t get to see nearly enough. They let him hold their hands the whole drive over.

“Where do you want to start?” 

Felix isn’t quite sure if Changbin’s question is directed at Hyunjin or him or Hyunjin-and-him. Whenever the three of them meet up, Hyunjin oscillates between being their designated leader, pulling them around to look at everything that catches his eye, and their follower, happily drifting behind them. Felix just shrugs to cover his bases.

“There’s a new boutique in the mall up here! We could all get matching earrings!” Hyunjin loops an arm through each of theirs and pulls them along, answering his question. It will probably change about two to three hours in, depending on how interesting the shops are.

After checking out the boutique, which disappointingly seems to be nothing more than a gimmick to drive customers to their website, they stop by a large clothing store. Changbin mostly walks behind them, happy to listen to them pick out items that would look good on each other or him or the rest of the group. Halfway through the second floor, Felix finds himself flagging a bit. Normally he’d be fine, but he feels kind of faint, maybe a little queasy… Thankfully, Hyunjin shows up to pull them over to the fitting rooms.

They make a pile of clothing on the bench outside so they can take turns modelling. Changbin goes in first, since he only has a few items to try on and Hyunjin likes to send him running for other sizes of items when he’s trying on clothes. Felix guesses it must be true true love for him to even volunteer to come at this point. 

“So… how was last night?” Hyunjin grins.

Felix clicks his tongue and swats at him. “Oh, don’t even start. Do I really smell that bad?”

“Oh, I definitely wouldn’t say bad, and I don’t think I would have noticed if hyung didn’t say anything. But yeah, it’s noticeable.”

Changbin emerges, in a soft sweater that looks like it could be beige in the strong fitting room lighting. Felix thinks it’s the one that was a soft pink on the rack. 

“Hmmm,” Hyunjin tilts his head, “I’m not sure I’m sold. Do a spin?” 

Changbin sighs but does as he’s told; Felix would feel bad if he didn’t know his hyung was secretly eating their attention up. The sweater falls high enough that they both get a full view of everything else the sweater frames. 

Felix gasps. “I’m sold.”

Hyunjin shakes his head. “Still not doing it for me. It washes you out. Besides, it’s clearly polyester or something, look at that pilling. Try the next one.” 

Changbin closes the door. 

“Anyway, if I knew that’s what you three were up to, I would’ve come over too! Much funner than lying in bed with headphones on while your other roommate is doing who-knows-what with Jisung. Maybe ‘to Jisung’ would be more accurate? I’ve never heard someone yelp like that.”

“Oh, that’s…”

Hyunjin nods, like every Thursday Minsung date night for the past handful of years was a unique hell designed specifically to ruin his life. Maybe it has been. 

“I mean, Minho-hyung’s… well, you know how he is.” 

Felix nods, though he isn’t quite sure he does know.

“But I think the fact that Sungie’s willing to do anything just unleashes a whole other monster. I’m a little envious.” 

Felix is saved from having to respond by Changbin coming out again, this time in a tight muscle tee and shorts that show off miles (centimeters) of thick, muscular thighs. He feels his jaw drop open (except drop is not enough of a word. Plummet, maybe?) and distantly recognizes that Hyunjin’s vibrating beside him. Before Felix can start making a list out loud of absolutely insane things that they should do that would absolutely get them banned from this mall (or possibly just explode), Hyunjin rushes to shove him back into the changing room. 

“Get dressed, we are buying those. Hurry so I can try on my stuff.”

Changbin just laughs, and Felix notes that he can definitely hear it through the fitting room door. Which means that he definitely heard what they were saying. Felix wouldn’t care if anyone else heard, but Changbin is so strong and smart and nice and– sue Felix for not wanting to fumble a baddie because his dumb friend (who also happens to be the baddie’s soulmate, but who cares) wouldn’t shut up about his sex life. Felix sighs as Hyunjin turns to him again.

“Any chance you guys took pictures?”

Felix covers his mouth to whisper, “Will you–”

“Yes, I will.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes but leans in to whisper back, “They’d be fine with it anyway, but yes, I will continue ‘stealing’ clothing from our members. But not Changbin’s new fitness gear, at least for a month. Anyway, whenever I ask Yennie he just ghosts me, but last time you asked it worked, so…” 

“I’ll ask, if they’re alright with it I’ll send them to you.”

Hyunjin holds out a hand to shake. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

Felix giggles. “No, pleasure doing business with you!”

Hyunjin goes in after Changbin comes out, with a heap of clothing to try on. Felix stretches, gently rotating his legs to free the pressure in his hips.

“You doing okay?” It’s actually so crazy that a man could be handsome and muscular and kind and caring and–

“Yongbok-ah?”

“Oh, sorry, yeah. I took my meds slightly late this morning so I have to remember to take them again when we have lunch or a bit later, because otherwise I might be in trouble, but it’s not a bad day.” 

Changbin used to stay with him sometimes on bad days, in the brief period between his back injury and their separation to different apartments. Bad days meant something different in those early days. He’s still not sure if the pain has improved or he’s just learned to live with it, because at first doing anything on a bad day was debilitating. Changbin would lie in his nest with him and grab whatever he needed. These days, he can push through a bad day to perform, he’ll just be unable to move for the next couple days. It sucks, but that’s what the company wants sometimes. 

Felix eats a lot more of Minho’s cooking these days and gets a lot more affection from the younger members, but he misses having the rest of his group around too. He misses Changbin’s gentle reassurance and strong massages. The sauna’s nice, but it doesn’t compare to back when he could sleep pressed fully together with his hyung whenever he wanted. 

Felix settles next to Changbin, deciding that he’s going to use the chance he’s got to its fullest instead of going on a nostalgia trip and making himself sad. He leans into his chest and grabs at his arm. Changbin shoots him a look that just says, “really?” which Felix smiles guillessly at, but he can feel the muscle flex a bit under his fingers, and he smiles down into Changbin’s chest. 

Hyunjin’s first outfit is, in fact, a full outfit. He likes to shop for looks rather than items, which Felix supposes he understands. He’s wearing tight, flared green pants, a leather vest, and some sort of graphic tee with what appears to be English gibberish. 

“You should spin too,” Changbin says. Felix nods so fast he thinks his head may fall off. Hyunjin scoffs but does, and… wow. 

“Wow,” Changbin says.

“Wow,” Felix echoes. 

“Wow, strong response for a pretty terrible outfit. I expected this from my wife, but you too, Lix?”

Felix just stares at him with his most heart-wrenching eyes. 

“Well, now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, I’ll put on the real killer outfits.” Hyunjin does a dramatic 180 degree spin on his heel, only to crash through the door and into what sounds like the wall. 

Hyunjin does eventually start doing the HyuniBinni shopping trip classic of sending Changin off to look for other sizes. Felix comes along some of the time, but he’s got a knack for getting lost, and Changbin’s tight attention span means he’s not good at keeping an eye on him. 

Hyunjin goes through a lot of clothing. Some of it is more normal, like the jeans from one brand he’s apparently determined to like and thus keeps sending Changbin out to find different cuts from, or the henley shirt he for some reason becomes utterly attached to. 

There’s also more unusual stuff, like a black maxi skirt they all can’t decide if they like or not. In the end, he decides he’ll get it (and the black top he paired with it) and add a slit on the side. After he enters the fitting room again, Felix turns to see Changbin already staring at him with wide eyes. He just nods. They’re in big trouble.

Hyunjin goes through a few more outfits before he goes back into the changing room for the final time, to change back and make a final selection. 

“So, photos, huh?”

Felix thinks he needs to explode. Implode, so it’s less messy. Closed casket funeral for Felix. He’d feel bad for his mum, but he thinks everyone else would understand. 

Instead, he sticks his face into his hands. “This is the worst day of my life why can’t the fitting rooms walls have insulation why do they have to be paper thin,” he murmurs.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Changbin leans down to speak directly into his ear, rubbing circles on the part of his back just under his neck. “I’ll get you whatever you want, direct from the source, if you send them to me as well.”

Felix lifts his head. He thinks he may have won somehow, though his brain is too busy panicking to figure out how.

“Oh, and that one dark gray hoodie you took, the one with the green? I’d like that back. You’re not subtle, Yongbokkie, I saw you take it,” Changbin chuckles. “It was cute, watching you try to sneak out the door with it in your arms. I’m happy to give you my clothing! It’s just also been a couple months and I do enjoy wearing my favorite sweatshirt.”

Felix gapes at him, astonished by his rudeness. How dare he request things while denying Felix the one hoodie he wears often enough for his scent to stick all the way through, even after washing? The nerve of this man!

“Hey! I said it was alright, I can give it back to you after I– or you can just keep it! Or! I can wear it so it keeps my scent but give it back to you after? Yongbokkie?”

“Should’ve quit while you were ahead!” Hyunjin cackles from the fitting room. 

Felix is finally sent in with his small handful of clothing after Hyunjin finally realizes he chose two group members who are far more likely to stare than offer any helpful commentary on his final selection of clothing. Felix doesn’t tell him that would be true of anyone faced with the concept of Hyunjin in a crop top, but he does consider it. 

Felix tries the first of the stack on, a deep cyan turtleneck. He’s not sure it’s his color, but the fit is nice, and the fabric is soft. When he steps out, Hyunjin tilts his head.

“That one’s a maybe.”

Most of the rest is similar. He gets a yes for a pair of jeans he was made to spin around in but received such a good reaction for that he would have put them in the yes pile either way and a no for a top that he thought made him look half dead and received a full five seconds lookover from Hyunjin before he gently said it was a total no, but the rest is not particularly good or bad. Felix thinks Hyunjin might be trying to soften his words so that if Felix needs or strongly wants to get something, Hyunjin’s opinion doesn’t stand in his way. It’s sweet. 

When Felix reaches the bottom of his pile, he finds a fuzzy pink tube top, only to realize it’s in fact a miniskirt. He can feel himself blush at how short it is. It at least explains why his two friends had gone from casually discussing one of Hyunjin’s high school friend’s ex-fiance to muffled whispers. 

“Ummmm…”

“At least try it! You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to.”

Felix hears a faint “that’s what she said,” as he sighs and pulls his last try-on item, a sweatshirt, off. He shimmies out of his jeans, balancing on the tops of his shoes so his socks don’t touch the floor. He pulls the skirt up his thighs, finding it sits slightly lower than expected, so it’s not too indecent. He’s still pretty sure he could never wear it in public.

“Lix-ahhhhhh…”

“Please?”

Felix sighs again. The things he does for love.

He readjusts his underwear so it’s less obvious under the skirt, and steps out. Changbin looks awed. Hyunjin looks downright gleeful. 

Felix glances around, just to catch sight of a man across the store staring at him. Hyunjin seems to notice as well, because he stands to stretch, in just the right spot to block the man’s line of sight. 

“Do a spin!” 

Felix gives them his most deadpan expression.

“We need to check the fit, come on, angel, pleaseeee?”

Felix turns 360 degrees, all the way back around to their shocked faces. 

Hyunjin practically shoves him back into the dressing room. “Take it off and get it back on the hanger right now.”

They buy the skirt.

Hyunjin treats them all to lunch in a tucked-away restaurant in the mall where they’re shielded enough in their circular booth to take off their face masks and relax a bit. Well, Felix says Hyunjin treats them, but really he means Hyunjin uses Chan’s card. He’s pretty sure it’s the same dark blue card Hyunjin used to pay for all of their clothing. 

Felix and Hyunjin had a thing going for a while where they’d fight to pay first, starting back when Felix was Hyunjin’s go-to member to go to museums and malls. It only ended after Hyunjin lost Felix’s card that one time in Paris. Felix wasn’t even mad. 

He misses it. 

(He misses all of their little things.)

Felix gets a large, cheesy and slightly spicy bowl of ramyeon. It’s filling and he doubts he’ll be able to finish it all, but it makes Hyunjin and Changbin eye him a little more normally, so it’s worth it. It’s less worth it when he has to finish off Hyunjin’s and half of Changbin’s water in addition to his own, his spice tolerance slightly weaker than the average Korean’s. He normally doesn’t struggle that much, but Minho’s been making milder foods for him recently. 

Changbin and Hyunjin both look a little concerned, but he waves them off. He’s embarrassed when Changbin waves a waiter down to get him more water, but he can’t deny it also sends a rush of warmth down his spine, feeling cared for. 

“So!” Hyunjin starts as Felix takes his first sip from his new glass of water. He braces himself for whatever thought has Hyunjin smirking like that. “You should wear the skirt when you get back.”

“O…kay?” It’s not even that crazy a thought, considering they had paid for it. He hadn’t seen the tag, but based on the way the material glided against his skin, he had his assumptions on how much it could have been.

Hyunjin opens his mouth to speak, just for Changbin to stick a piece of something fried into his mouth. Hyunjin looks disgruntled, but makes an appreciative moan when he starts chewing. Changbin and Felix once again share a look.

“There’s a bite on your thigh.” Changbin says.

Hyunjin swallows the fried thing. “Oh, it was not on his thigh.”

Felix just sets his face in his hands and groans. 

The thing is, all three of them tended to get bitey, so he didn’t doubt he’d find more than one. He was just a little shocked he didn’t notice it in the dressing room or remember it happening. They had ended up in pretty much every possible configuration the night before (in actuality, they had done three or four configurations, but the positions were all pretty creative considering that they had to avoid straining Felix’s back, so he’d say technically it was actually better than an infinite amount and they all deserved a trophy for being such geniuses), so he couldn’t even be sure when it happened or who was responsible. 

“How did I not see it in the fitting room mirror?”

“It was pretty high up there,” Hyunjin says, giggling. Felix huffs and dramatically looks away.

“Hyunjinnie, baby, you’re really ruining your chances of getting invited by Yongbokkie next time,” Changbin says, also starting to laugh a little. 

It’s a joke. Felix knows it’s a joke. But suddenly, looking away feels a lot less like an act. Before he can stop himself, he blurts, “I would if I could.”

Their laughter peters out. He can see Hyunjin start to move a hand tentatively towards him. “Lix…”

“I’m sorry.” He’s not sure why, but he’s starting to feel like he might be about to cry. “I don’t know why I said that, I–”

“Hey,” Changin shifts so he can rest his arm around Felix’s shoulders and pull him in. “It’s okay. I think you said that because you’re sad.” Felix turns to watch his mouth move as he speaks. He can’t face whatever his hyung’s eyes hold, but he can’t look at the wall either.

Changbin bites his lip. “I feel the same way. I think everyone does.” Hyunjin leans in so he’s under Changbin’s arm too. It feels protective. “I miss living together, being able to see all of my packmates wherever I want to. I miss hyung’s cooking and Seungmin’s antics and seeing Yennie’s clothing scattered everywhere. And I miss my Yongbok.” 

Felix is fully crying by the time Changbin finishes. Changbin’s eyes are kind when he meets them, and his kiss is so sweet it sends Felix into a full-on sob. 

Felix wants to be a pack. Felix wants to be Changbin’s Yongbok. 

Felix hates that he can’t.

Hyunjin grabs a pack of tissues from his bag and starts trying to blindly dab up his tears and snot from where he’s sitting. He pokes Felix in the eye a couple times and at one point almost sticks his finger up his nose. It breaks the tension, and Felix finds himself laughing again, his favorite high pitched giggle and witch cackle joining soon after. 

When he opens his eyes again, the waiter is standing there, awkwardly waiting for someone to notice. They all rush to apologize and Hyunjin uses Chan’s card. 

Felix feels cared for.

He hates himself for it.

As they leave the restaurant, Felix realizes they’re leaving out of a different exit than where they entered, because he doesn’t recognize the art installation he comes face to face with. They’re on the second floor, and there’s a large area that’s been left open and railed, so mall guests can look down to the first floor. Above him is a large array of what looks like long red and white crystals, although it’s too high up for him to see for sure. They’re arranged by color, creating a gradient from a red so deep it looks brown all the way to shining clear crystal. 

“Can you wait here for a second, baby?” 

Felix just nods, still looking up. The way they’re arranged feels organic, something about the placement scattered across the ceiling creating a feeling of flexing and writhing. Felix notes that the crystals are likely not actually crystal, as they move and shift a little with the air currents.

The red feels offputting. 

Felix likes red. But there’s so much of it, it swallows the white crystal. It looks injured, angry. Sharp. Forceful.

Around the rail, there’s a small information plaque. Felix goes to read it.

It’s one of a set of installations from an artist going by the name Jeonae, all based on the major events in their life. The other installations are named. This one is not. 

It looks different from this angle. He’s closer to the white crystal, and it’s sharper than the red. Each white crystal piece is smaller, but there may actually be more of it than red. 

He steps back, only to collide with someone. He quickly turns and comes face to face with a tall man. 

“Oh!” Felix rushes to apologize. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching what I was doing. I hope I didn’t hit you too hard?”

The man laughs. “A pretty little thing like you doesn’t need to worry. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He brushes off Felix’s shoulder and just. Leaves his hand there. By Felix’s neck. 

The man is not wearing scent patches, and his dark, sour scent washes over Felix. It makes him feel sick, but just like any other time a strong enough alpha scent hits him, he’s frozen. He wants to lift his hand. He barely manages a couple fingers.

The clouds shift, and the light passing through the windows cuts through the crystals. Oh, Felix thinks. We’re standing on the red side. 

“Hey!” Hyunjin shoves the man away. “Back off from our mate!” He’s carrying an ice cream cone. Changbin’s carrying two more and their bags from earlier as he comes to stand in between the other two alphas and Felix. Felix briefly envisions a brawl, ice cream and clothes flying over the rail, but fortunately this guy doesn’t seem that interested in fighting two alphas at once. He raises his hands and walks back the other direction.

“Are you alright?” Changbin immediately spins around and jerks his arms like he’s going to hug Felix or maybe grasp his face, but stops just before he coats him in ice cream. He’s the exact opposite of that man, Felix thinks. Both him and Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin uses his free arm to wrap Felix up tight against him, pressing kisses to his head. “Felix, my angel…” 

Changbin looks like he’s going to cry, Felix suddenly realizes, alarmed.

“It’s okay, it really wasn’t anything bad, I just stepped back into him accidentally. Please, it’s okay.”

Hyunjin backs up a bit, frowning. He darts down to kiss Felix’s nose. It makes him blink. “It didn’t look like nothing. I’m sorry, I wanted to cheer you up after our lunch.”

They’re slowly walking towards the escalator down to the exit. Felix grabs an ice cream cone from Changbin, the blue one he’s sure his hyung chose for him. He thinks he can see oreo chunks. Hyunjin rifles through his bag and pulls out Felix’s meds, then a small thermos. He always brings a drink for Felix. 

Hyunjin called him their mate.

They’re on the white side now, and the afternoon sun paints them in rays of glittering light.
“It’s okay,” he says, and he’s surprised to find that he means it. “I had a good time here.”

Chapter Text

The nail artist clicks her tongue at him. She’s an older woman, maybe an omega from the sweetness that permeates off of her and overpowers even her strong-smelling nail products. But it could just be perfume. 

They’re sitting at a small table that’s slightly cut off from the hecticness of the styling team. Chan and Jeongin were both considering haircuts and possibly dye, so Felix has time to get his nails painted before he gets his own hair and makeup done. 

“You see these?” She runs her finger down his nail, newly stripped of the shiny, light pink nail polish they like to put them in. He leans in, and notices his nails have small, horizontal white lines running across them.
“That’s new,” he murmurs.

She shakes her head. “That’s stress. They’re working you too hard, you need a vacation.”

Felix just shrugs. They haven’t been doing that much more than usual, since they’d finished their comeback promotions a little while ago and didn’t have anything planned until the end of the year. The magazine shoot they’re doing is some sort of brand deal, but it’s fairly low stakes. She shoots him a disapproving look.

He sighs. “I’ll book a spa day or something.”

She doesn’t look happy, but she nods and gets started on his nails. She uses some sort of gel that she has to harden with a light and file down before she applies the color. She uses liquid polish in a pretty cyan and adds little streaks of gold. He finds himself smiling at how pretty they look at the end, glossy and swirling, just slightly pointed. 

“Thank you! These are so nice.”

“Go book that spa day,” she smiles. 

Felix forgets about the nail artist’s comment until the next time he’s pulled to see another company doctor, a man this time. This time, Minho accompanies him. His hyung stands as a foreboding enough presence for everything to stay rigidly formal most of the time, so Felix is looking forward to a much chiller appointment. 

As expected, the doctor is polite and straight to the point. “Yongbok-ssi’s iron test came back. Levels are at about 55 micrograms per deciliter, which is a little low.” 

“Isn’t that within the normal range?” Minho says. 

“Normally, we would say yes, but none of the other tests are pulling up anything. We are going to start Yongbok-ssi on some iron supplements, just to see if that prevents any future incidents.”

The doctor grabs a form and scribbles something on the first couple lines. “If you could sign here, Minho-ssi?” 

Wow. Felix suddenly starts getting the feeling that maybe this doctor isn’t being polite because of Minho’s reputation as an omega. 

“I wasn’t aware I was the patient.” 

“It’s standard practice, since omegas are– Oh.” 

Minho raises the edge of his scent patch, just enough to send the whiff of rotten cherry blossoms around the room. As it dissipates, Felix hides a smile under his sleeve at the look of disgust on the doctor’s face. It’s a purely omega way to use scent, the upset edge nauseating to alphas. 

“I can sign, just right there?”

The doctor nods, hunched and turned away. Felix thinks that’s a little overkill, but it gives him the chance to flash Minho a smile. Minho blows him a kiss in return. 

“Don’t forget, we’ve got the clinic this Thursday,” Minho says as they head to meet their group. It takes a second for Felix to register, but…

“Wait, it’s on Thursday? really?” 

“I know, it’s weird not going on Saturday. I think that doctor who does yours shifted us around for some reason, because originally only you had to go in on Thursday. I shut that down.” 

“Thank you…” Felix trails off. The last time they went to the clinic, it was two months ago. The same doctor saw him again (Now that he thinks about it, Felix realizes he’s not quite sure what the doctor’s name is. He should ask next time, that’s just rude). He asked him a lot of questions about any symptoms or odd changes that may have stemmed from his suppressant. Minho did not look particularly happy when Felix danced around the subject, but he played along. 

Thursday. Felix freezes. “Wait, hyung! You really didn’t have to. What if you feel bad again after and it messes up your movie night?” 

Minho laughs and pulls Felix in by his waist. “We’ll do it Friday. Or I’ll just get Jisung to come over and join in on our bimonthly-scheduled Yongbok snuggle pile. He’d probably be happier anyway. Come on, we’re late.”

“Lix!” Jisung practically jumps him. Felix lurches back into Minho’s hold, who gently flicks Jisung but moves to pester Seungmin after they’ve both got their feet on the ground. “My babyyyy. I haven’t seen you in ages.” He rubs their faces together aggressively, as if he can fight through the scent blocker patches they have on.

“You literally saw him yesterday.” Hyunjin’s in front of the mirror, tying his hair back. (His hoodie is halfway off his torso. Felix wants to bite.)

“Shut up! You got to go to the mall with him last week. I was stuck doing stupid falsetto ad-libs for hyung.” Felix lets himself relax forward into Jisung’s hold. Jisung’s not quite as large as most of the other members, but he’s bulked up quite a bit, and Felix likes how small being held by him makes him feel. He deserves it anyway, for crashing into Felix like that earlier. 

“Are you okay? You smell a little off,” Jisung says quietly, gently brushing his fingers through Felix’s hair. 

“You can smell that still? The doctor was just being a cunt. Hyung cut him off.”

“I’m glad he went with you. But yeah, today everything smells super strong and I think I can even catch a little of you and Minho hyung through your patches. I think it’s my rut coming up.”

“Wait, really? I always just get kind of out of it in my pre-heat.”

“Probably a different drug thing, I dunno.” Jisung turns to sneeze.

“Elbow!” Chan calls from wherever he is. Felix doesn’t feel wetness in his hair so he doesn’t care that much, but it sends Jisung running across the room to defend his honor. Felix goes to join Changbin in stretching. 

Once the dance practice is underway, Felix feels himself slide back into his groove. He’s a little off a few times, but everyone is since the songs they’re dancing to today are older songs. Minho and the dancer who’s reviewing their formations only tell Felix he needs to be a bit more precise when he’s cutting in; Jeongin gets five (very kindly worded) things to work on.

They get through three repetitions each of two songs before they break to rehydrate. Felix slumps down on a bench, closing his eyes. He can feel sweat pour down his thighs onto the wood. Gross.

“You good?” A hand ruffles his hair. It’s a little sweaty, so he blindly nips at it. “Hey! You little–” Chan cuts himself off with his giggles. 

Felix finds himself smiling. “Yeah, I’m good. Feels more low pressure today, y’know?” 

“Here,” Chan nudges a water bottle against his face until he grabs it. It’s Chan’s. He takes a long gulp, then a second one to hide his smile at how Chan visibly beams. 

“Your back’s okay, though? Everything’s good?” 

He straightens himself a little. It’s not great, but he loves this. His whole team is here. Minho’s wrangling Hyunjin, Jisung, and Changbin into drinking, Jeongin keeps swapping their water bottles, and Seungmin’s lying on the ground a few feet away from Chan and Felix. He’s on his phone but he keeps tilting his head to watch the chaos, so Felix can tell he’s invested. 

Felix doesn’t tell Chan how much he adores this group and all of their charming little quirks. Instead, he says, “Mm-hmm. Besides all this sweat. Bleugh.”

“Awww, sweaty babyyyy,” Chan flops on the bench next to him and leans in to snuggle him.

“Nooooooo, it’s too warmmmm.” Felix halfheartedly swats at him, but lets his hyung pull him in. Sometimes he thinks Chan might be one of those big dogs who’s convinced he’s a tiny lap dog.

Felix wouldn’t trade him for the world. 

Wellll, until Chan reaches a hand under his shirt and starts trying to tickle him. Horrible, wretched man. Unfortunately, Felix’s gut reaction is to straight-up hiss at him. This in turn only drives Chan to hysterical laughter.

“Did- did Minho actually turn you into a real cat? Oh my God, Lix, you–”

“Shut up, Christopher!”

Jeongin comes over, probably curious over why Chan is bent over Felix giggling. 

“Innie,” Felix looks up at their maknae desperately. “Hyung tried to tickle me.”

Jeongin, a frequent victim of the entire hyung line, takes a step back to stay out of arms reach. Felix supposes he was being too optimistic in thinking Jeongin would save him.

Still, he supposes he looks pathetic enough to trigger Jeongin to do something. Jeongin says, “Bad dog,” and wags a finger at Chan. 

“What?” Seungmin says, sitting up from where he’s stretched out on the floor.

“Oh my GOD, did you just–?”

After practice ends, Chan comes back over to Felix, phone open to an email. “Hey, you know that new place you said you wanted to try? I finally got a reservation if you want to go tonight.”
“Wait, really?” Felix hops up. He’d seen so many videos on instagram and tiktok and sent more than a few to their group chat over the past six months. He didn’t think anyone saw them. “How did you even do that? I’m on their list until like next year.”

“Ah, it’s Bam’s actually, he’s out of town. I mentioned that you wanted to go, and he said his reservation was all mine if I wanted it. It’s for seven tonight, if that’s okay?”

Felix nods, little happy butterflies building up in his chest. “Yeah… yeah, that would be really nice.”

“You’re going out tonight?” Oh. Minho had evidently finished his rounds of covertly scenting the rest of the group. 

“Hyung…”

“Be careful, okay?” Minho leans in to gently lift Chan’s scent patch. Felix catches a whiff of bright eucalyptus over his usual sandy scent before Minho rubs his wrist along his gland and replaces the patch. Felix can remember all the times he’d smelled the eucalyptus before: after they debuted, the first time they got to go back to Australia, the few times Felix woke up before Chan when they were curled in bed together… Chan’s really happy. 

Felix bites his lip to hide his smile as Chan does the same to Minho, lifting his scent patch and wafting cherry blossom, sharp but quickly softening as Chan rubs along his jaw. They’re pretty together, his hyungs. Minho’s poise, Chan’s stability… Felix had had more than one dream involving the two of them, usually with himself in the center. 

He drops that line of thought as Hyunjin comes stumbling over, trying to focus on how downright drenched his clothes feel and picture all the grossest bugs he can think of to even out his scent before they get started on scenting each other. Based on the way Hyunjin raises his brows, it only partially works. 

Felix has half an hour before dinner (dinner with Chan. Dinner with CHAN!), so naturally he pulls Jeongin and Seungmin straight through their apartment to his room and instantly starts digging through his wardrobe. Most of his stuff is clean at the moment thankfully, although he does find a couple of shirts that clearly need to be re-washed tucked into his drawers. That’s a problem for future Felix, so he tosses them vaguely towards his closet. 

“Yaghh, hyung!” Jeongin makes a noise like someone has dumped cereal on his head. Seungmin did actually do that one time, so Felix turns to make sure it hasn’t happened again. Nope, guess the second shirt didn’t make it.

“How do we feel about blue?” Felix pulls out a pair of light cerulean linen slacks, still neatly pressed. 

“Maybe?” Seungmin says. Jeongin is sitting on his desk chair, pouting. Felix gives him his most pleading apologetic eyes. 

Jeongin sighs. “If you have a good button up, those would work. Hyung’s totally going to wear something black, though.”

“Wait, let me feel?” Seungmin asks from his bed. Felix tosses them over. “These are too thin.”

“It’ll be warmer in the restaurant,” Jeongin counters. 

“It’s a trendy new place, right? What if you’re stuck sitting outside?” Seungmin crosses his arms. “Besides, Lix, you’re always cold and it’s literally winter. If you really want Channie-hyung’s jacket that badly you should just wear a lighter shirt. Wearing these pants is stupid.”

Felix throws a sock at his head. It’s a single, unballed sock, so it flops to the ground a few feet away instead. It goes farther left than he would have expected, but sock aerodynamics are strange and it’s not like it matters that much anyway. 

Jeongin crouches down beside him and begins to flip through his shirts. “I think a turtleneck might be nice, Lixie-hyung always looks so pretty in them.” He pulls out two, a black and a white one, then adds a white button up to his stack.

“Aw, thanks Innie!” Felix shuffles a meter or so over to rub against Jeongin, who shows his happiness in a burst of apple, sun-ripened and only a little tart. Felix is sure he’s releasing vanilla in response. It’s nice. 

It’s even nicer when Seungmin leans over them to add his own scent in, fragrant lavender rounding out their blend. Seungmin exhales, a happy little huff. “Come on, you’ll be late. Choose a pair of pants. Oh, actually…” 

He reaches over them to grab a pair of thicker, sage green trousers. Felix hasn’t worn them in a while, but he’s pretty sure he has a matching blazer somewhere in his closet. There’s a chance it’s clean. 

“You should go with those,” Minho says. They all jump. “They make your butt look good.”

“Hyung!” Felix is sure he’s bright red. Minho has that effect. “Um, thank you?”

Minho just smirks, looking every bit the cat that got the cream.
“Oh, so now you can take off the gloves!” Seungmin stands and crosses his arms. “Last week when you came into my room you ‘couldn’t possibly’--” He dramatically air quotes, “--take them off halfway through your recipe so you just had to wear your salmonella and gochujang gloves inside my room, but now suddenly you’re able to take them off for a couple minutes?”

“Yah, Kim Seungmin, why would I ever wear food preparation gloves outside the kitchen? Did all that barking turn your brain the size of a dog’s?”

Felix is not sure he wants to see how whatever this is ends (well, that’s not entirely true depending on the direction it goes. But that’s a thought for another day), so he says, “Did you finish making dinner, hyung?”

Jeongin plays along. “It smells so good! Can we eat now?”

“Of course, as soon as Seungmin sets the table.” Minho smiles beatifically. It’s a little unsettling.

They all leave, Seungmin mumbling something that sounds like “fuck you too,” under his breath. Mumbling it is smart. Minho may not be the greatest at English, but Felix is sure he’d know that one. 

Felix finds the matching blazer hanging towards the back of his closet. It doesn’t smell too mildew-y so he tosses it onto his bed. He double checks that his blinds are fully closed before stripping and pulling on the trousers. He twists a little as he analyzes his reflection and corrects his posture with a wince. It’s not a bad day. It still hurts. 

The pants look good. Minho was right, and they’re just tight enough to accentuate his waist and thighs while still staying loose enough to be comfortable. It’s odd, though. Sure, it’s winter and the company tries to limit his time outside to keep him pale, but he looks downright pallid. Even stranger, his freckles still stand out darkly. 

Felix remembers the iron supplements then. It must be some combination of his mild anemia and the color of his trousers making him look like a ghost. Maybe the lighting, too? He considers checking himself out under the bathroom lights too, but checks his phone and remembers that he doesn’t have time to nitpick everything. The pants will do. 

The black turtleneck makes him look stylishly chic, darted to bring out his chest and arms. He’s not sure he loves black with the pants, but it’s a solid option. He’ll try on the white turtleneck as well, and choose whichever one looks better.

As Felix grabs it, he realizes he remembers this top. It’s sleeveless and draws in toward his neck at the top. He used to wear it fairly frequently years ago, but after everything…

For old time’s sake, Felix decides to try it on. It’s soft, well-worn, a memory of a different time.

Surprisingly, it’s not bad. 

It’s just wide enough to hide his lower neck and the vast majority of his shoulders, especially if he keeps his jacket on. It clings to his body, making his neck and waist look cinched, and the material is thick and textured enough to look high-end. 

He feels… Well, he feels like Jeongin said he’d look. Pretty. 

Felix’s phone buzzes, his five minute warning. He’ll wear the white top. 

He scrambles through his sock drawer, trying to find two matching socks and settles on two black ones of only slightly different lengths. He can match with Chan in that way. He grabs his newest perfume, a collab with a brand, and begins to douse–

“Just do one spritz, come on.” Seungmin yanks the bottle from his hands.
“Minnie?”

“I was going to do your hair, if you want?”

Felix beams and hurries to sit on the edge of his bed as Seungmin settles behind him, brush and hair tie in hand.

“It’s been a while,” Felix says as Seungmin begins to brush his hair back, leaving a few strands out at the front. Felix isn’t quite sure when he started doing that, it certainly wasn’t something he told Seungmin to do when he showed him how to do his hair. Maybe he picked it up from his sister? Felix doesn’t mind it. 

Seungmin hums, pulling the top section of his hair back. He might be holding the hair tie in his teeth. After a while, he stops smoothing and pulls Felix’s hair through the hair tie then twists it, repeating until Felix’s hair is securely fastened. 

Felix turns to his mirror. Seungmin wraps his arms loosely around him and leans down, gently scenting. He feels downright beautiful and he’s sure his scent is warm and happy, especially when Seungmin smiles back at him.  

“You should get going,” Seungmin says, pressing one final kiss to his cheek before ushering him out. 

Felix steps into their dining room to scent Jeongin and kiss him quickly as well.

“Yongbok, scent patch!” Minho calls from the kitchen. 

Felix grabs a pair of formal leather shoes and pulls them on. “Coming, hyung!” He blows a kiss at Seungmin and hurries in.

Minho opens his arms and Felix moves into his space. He brushes his neck against his hyung’s, then moves to rub their cheeks together. It’s such an omega thing to do, and it always settles him. 

“Don’t be out too late, alright? Have hyung drop you off here before he goes back.” 

“Hyung would do that either way,” Felix says, sighing, but he finds himself smiling anyway. Minho can be a little over the top, but it’s sweet. Loving.

“Be careful.” Minho kisses his scent glands achingly gently before applying a scent blocker to each side. “I’ll wait for you.”

“You don’t–” Felix’s phone chimes, likely the car arriving. “It’s okay, hyung, I’ll text when I’m coming back. Have a good night!” He kisses Minho too before pulling on his blazer jacket and a slightly thicker gray jacket on top for warmth and hurrying out. 

Chan’s waiting by the car for him, smiling widely enough that his dimples practically overtake his face. 

“Chris!” Felix runs the last few paces over, smiling equally as widely. He understands Seungmin at that moment; if only he had an extra limb to wag as aggressively as his heart is beating. Chan catches him and squeezes him tightly in a hug. Felix lets himself melt into it for a beat before he pulls back. 

Chan opens the back door and bows as he waves a hand inside. “Your ride, m’lady.”

Felix swats at him. “Oh, shut up.” Screw having a tail, actually. Weird and humiliating. (Felix ducks his head but he’s pretty sure Chan can see his blush). 

Chan climbs in beside him and closes the door. The driver starts the car. It has a partition, but Felix is sure the driver will be able to hear anything they say to each other. Maybe there’s even a hidden mic or something. He wouldn’t put it past JYP Entertainment. 

“You look nice, I like the green,” Chan says, pulling at Felix’s coat a bit to see his full outfit. He runs a hand down Felix’s chest and makes a little noise at the texture of his top. Felix reminds himself it’s most likely just another one of Chan’s sensory things, but he still finds himself preening. 

Chan’s hands are large and warm. It’s comforting. (It’s more than that.)

“You too,” Felix says softly. Just as Seungmin predicted, Chan is wearing a black overcoat atop his black suit. Underneath, however, he has on a white button up shirt. It’s not fully buttoned up so Felix can see a hint of collarbone. He looks really nice.

Chan moves his hand to Felix’s knee and flips it so Felix can hold it, something he does with gusto.

“Jeez, Lix, you’re cold.” Chan grabs his other hand too and starts rubbing them between his palms. It looks a bit like he’s trying to start a fire or something. 

Felix’s hands look so small in his hyung’s. He knows, objectively, that Chan is larger in many ways (excluding height), but it still catches him off guard sometimes. He keeps his mouth closed tightly so he doesn’t say anything he regrets as Chan pulls both of them into one of the pockets of his jacket. It pulls Felix in a bit as well.

“Is this okay? I know leaning is okay most of the time, but I don’t want to push it if it’s not a good day.” 

Felix rests his face on Chan’s shoulder. The jacket was poorly descented if it was at all, so it still has a bit of Chan. “No, this is nice.”

Chan gently pulls him in a bit more and wraps his arm around Felix. He starts quietly talking about his newest Genshin pulls and Felix settles into a content half-asleep state for the rest of their drive. 

The restaurant is nice. Felix knew going in that it would be from all of the instagram videos he’d seen, but he’s still a little shocked at the atmosphere that greets them. Despite being a hot new place, the tables are small and spaced out around art and glittering chandeliers. Felix is pretty sure there’s an actual pianist hidden somewhere. Their coats are taken and they’re promptly led to a small table shrouded by a large metal and glass installation. The carpet is thick under his feet.

“Wow,” Chan says, sounding shocked. 

“Thank BamBam again for me?”

Their waitress is quick and professional, offering them menus before bowing her head and moving away. The menu books are thick and a glossy dark red, but when Felix opens his, there are only a few actual menu pages and most of them are taken up by wine options. There aren’t any prices listed. 

Felix feels a bit underdressed all of a sudden. 

“Chris, I feel like we may have made a mistake,” he says in the quietest voice he can manage. Chan looks up from his menu. “Really?”

Felix waves his arms to indicate everything around them. “I knew it was nice, but I thought it was, like, instagram-nice! Not like, there’s a piano guy trapped in the walls somewhere and the wines have years listed!” 

Chan laughs. “Pianist, you mean?”

“Bleugh.”

“That’s literally what they’re called! Anyway, it’s okay. I prepaid so we could get a tasting menu. Don’t give me that face, I enjoy taking care of what’s mine. Can’t promise what we get will be any good, but it seemed easier than trying to pronounce some of these.” 

Felix blinks. Did he– he decides to let it go. “Hyung, really. I’m the one who wanted to go, we should at least–”

Chan shushes him softly. “Nope. I’m considering the chicken option, although the seafood main also seemed popular online. What are you thinking?”

“Oh, um… chicken, I guess?”

“Then I’ll get seafood and we can try both. I’m curious about the salad actually, I heard–”

“Hyung…” Felix isn’t quite sure why he feels like crying. Of course Chan would read reviews online and plan out their entire night for a restaurant Felix barely knew anything about.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Chan reaches across their small table to cup his face. His shift in position makes their knees touch. “I never get to take care of you like this, little one. Let me enjoy it, okay? Where’s my pretty omega’s pretty smile?”

“You’re fighting so dirty,” Felix says, but his lips are curling up uncontrollably.

“It’s not fighting dirty if I’m telling the truth.” Chan tucks a strand of Felix’s hair behind his ear before he pulls his hand back. 

Their waitress comes back, then. She’s carrying a dark bottle and two wine glasses. She tilts it to Chan then to Felix. Chan nods so Felix does as well. She removes the cork (it seems like it was already opened?) and fills about a third of each glass. She nods to each of them then leaves.

Felix grabs his glass and swirls it before he takes a sniff. He can’t prevent his nose from wrinkling. Chan just laughs, but his eye twitches when he takes a sip. 

“Whew, that’s…”

“Yep.”

Chan (very casually) sets his drink down and gazes up at the light fixture above them. It’s got lots of little glass beads. “It’s weird coming to a restaurant like this outside of a brand negotiation. I keep expecting to see skijigi or a brand rep or something.”

Felix nods. Chan’s looking at him now, all soft eyes and warm smile, so Felix takes a small sip from his own glass. It’s bitter, but there’s a sweetness underneath. He doesn’t hate it. 

Their waitress comes back with an appetizer, little pieces of bread with bits of tomato and some kind of sliced meat.

“Huh,” Chan says, grabbing one. “I wonder if it’s some sort of bruschetta thing? Interesting.”

Felix tilts his head. Brew-sket-a? “You mean Brew-shet-a?”

“Nah, apparently it’s pronounced bru-ske-ta in Italy. Learnt that the hard way, they take it really seriously.” 

“This is Hyunjin in Paris all over again. ‘Feel-ix,’” Felix imitates Hyunjin, “‘did you know they actually pronounce it kreh-p?’ I guess it’s an Italian brand ambassador thing.”

Chan laughs. “Didn’t you take French? Mate, I’m sorry but I think that’s on you.”

“Well yeah, but no one says it like that over here!” Felix takes a little angry bite of his bread thing. It’s good. “Wait, can you get a picture of me? I almost forgot.” 

Felix moves to pull out his phone, but Chan waves him away. “My phone camera’s better, I can send you whatever pics I get.”

“Isn’t your phone like five years old?”

“I’m not sure it’s that old, but I don’t throw it into my bag like some people, so my lens isn’t all scratched.”

“Oh, your lens isn’t all scratched?” Felix imitates whiningly. 

Chan rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Shut up or I won’t take any photos!” 

Felix dramatically brandishes his slice of bread at Chan, opening his mouth halfway and widening his eyes. Chan laughs but takes a photo. He moves into a couple more casual positions then sends Chan a thumbs up. 

Felix crams the rest of the bread into his mouth, only to hear another shutter click. He covers his face as fast as he can, but Chan’s doing the giggly thing he does whenever he takes a particularly bad photo, so he’s pretty sure it’s too late. Felix would be mad if his dimples weren’t so cute. 

The rest of their food is good. Nothing’s groundbreaking, but everything is well cooked and well seasoned, and the fusion of Korean and Italian foods is pulled off well. In return for his help photographing, Felix takes photos of Chan with his main, even though he says it’s pointless since he won’t post pictures from what is clearly the same restaurant as Felix’s photos (Felix says he can just send them to his mom, then. Or Hannah, although he’s pretty sure the replies Chan would get from her would be a lot more teasing than happy). 

It’s when they finally get their dessert that things get… complicated. Their waitress presents it as a passionfruit cake, yellow with a rich looking purple-pink ganache on top, all covered by a melted sugar dome. Chan’s immediately ready with his camera, and Felix does several poses before cracking open the dome with a spoon for a video. After the cake is exposed, he stretches and pulls his jacket down to get a more varied selection of shots. Plus… Well, his arms have been looking good lately. Sue a man for wanting to flex a little.

Chan makes a dramatic little shocked gasp when he does, just enough to make Felix laugh as he takes a couple photos. 

“Maybe lean in a little? Yep, that’s it. Now, turn? Nope, other way… yeah, that’s a…! Oh.” 

Felix freezes, looking back at Chan and the camera, which has stopped clicking. 

Chan looks up from his phone, to Felix. To Felix’s shoulder. His left shoulder.

Felix pulls his blazer jacket back on as quickly as he can. His nails scratch him slightly as he does. 

“Lix, you…” 

“Chris, we really don’t have to–”

“It scarred.” Chan says. His voice is matter of fact, but his eyes are like an endless pit. Felix isn’t sure if he seems sad or angry or happy or maybe just a mix of all of those. Maybe Chan isn’t sure, either. 

“I thought you knew.” 

“I thought… Lix, baby–”

“It’s okay.” Felix shushes Chan. “Please, listen to me? It was as much my fault as yours. Really. I just– please don’t go back to how you were after. Please?”

Chan just stares at him. His eyes might be watering. “Lix, I…”

“Please?” Felix’s eyes are past watering. “I like this. Yeah, what we did was stupid, but it was just one thing. Why does it have to ruin everything?”

Felix swipes at his tears harshly. His breathing is rough, ragged in his chest. 

A large, warm hand snakes under his to thumb away his tears. Felix leans in, closing his eyes from pure shame. 

“Hey, no, it’s okay. I didn’t– I wouldn’t– I was just… surprised.” Chan seems a little freaked out. “I don’t want to go back to that time, either. But really, if anyone’s to blame–” Felix sends him his frostiest glare, keeping his head down as he does like Minho. “No– I mean, yes, but I don’t–” Felix continues to glare. Chan sighs and shakes his head. “Okay,” he says softly.

Chan offers him a hand, palm up on the table. His other hand moves to gently stroke his jaw. Felix lets him.

Chan’s eyes are so soft. Too soft. So Felix looks away again.

At the rest of the room.

“Oh my god, I’m crying in a restaurant.” 

Chan exhales a little wet laugh. “Really, that’s what’s on your mind?”

Felix sends him a deadpan look. “What if dispatch is here? Next thing we know, they’re writing about how I’m leaving Stray Kids because Bang Chan has it out for me.”

“Nah, it’ll be another article about how you’re leaving to go get hitched to Jungkook-sunbaenim.” 

Felix laughs too. “Orrr you’re leaving to get married to Mina or BamBam again.” 

Chan lets out the most world-weary sigh. “Jeez, I hang out with a few 97 liners and suddenly we’re all secretly together. If I never have to hear rumors about me and Lisa of all people again, it will be too soon.” 

Chan stops holding his face and grabs a spoon. He scoops up a bite of the passionfruit cake and holds it in front of Felix’s face. Felix knows he’s about two seconds away from saying something stupid, like “open your mouth for the airplane!” so he eats the spoonful.

It’s sweet and sour and creamy from the ganache. It’s amazing.

“Chris, oh my god? You need to try it right now.” Felix grabs the other spoon and aggressively scoops what is probably way too much. He shoves it at Chan’s mouth. 

Chan’s mouth is too full to say anything of sense, but he makes happy noises of agreement. 

It’s cute. 

Felix finally gets home around ten. It’s later than he expected, but the dinner had a lot more courses than he imagined and apparently they left just as one of the more popular clubs downtown was opening, so there was a bit of traffic. He enjoyed the ride home since Chan is the member he sees the least these days, but he’s happy to finally get back to their apartment. 

Chan walks him to the door like the gentleman he is. Just before he heads back to the car, he pulls Felix behind a bush near the well-lit pathway and kisses him. 

When Felix gets inside, a smile still pressed to his lips, he’s met with– Jisung? 

He’s lying on their couch, and groggily sits up as Felix enters. His scent softly floats around their apartment, spicy nutmeg sweetened by sleep. 

“Hannie, why are you…?”

Jisung stretches. His arms flex as he does. “Minho was going to wait for you, but his head hurt so I sent him to get some sleep. I don’t have anything scheduled for tomorrow morning unlike everyone else so I said I’d wait instead. How was it?”

Felix toes off his shoes and throws his coat and blazer onto the coatrack. He adjusts his top before he turns to face Jisung. “It was nice, a lot fancier than I expected but the food was good. I got a lot of pictures, maybe I’ll post some to bubble tomorrow, assuming the company’s okay with it since it’s a business. Should be fine…” Felix tears one scent patch off then the other. They’re fresh enough that they haven’t been worn down by sweat or movement, so it stings a bit. He wads them up. 

Jisung hugs him from behind and gently rubs at his neck, taking the scent blocker ball from him as he does. “You smell unhappy. Did something happen?”

If it was Minho, Felix would probably panic. It’s Jisung, however, and he’s calm as he asks.

“It was good, just… You know how it is with me and Channie-hyung. It’s good and then…” Felix can smell a bit of acridness in his own scent. He doesn’t feel unhappy, but he’s not exactly content either, he supposes. 

Jisung rocks them a bit then unwraps himself to grab his hand and pull. “Come on, I’ll make you a drink. Your first thing tomorrow’s at eleven, you can stay up a bit later.”

Felix lets himself be dragged into the kitchen, but shakes his head when Jisung pulls out their slab of baking chocolate. 

“I definitely hit my calorie limit. I probably exceeded it, honestly.” 

Jisung sighs but pulls out some tea packets instead and sets some water to boil. They usually just order matcha or bubble tea, but they have a couple boxes of teabags and a couple types of loose-leaf tea that everyone is typically too lazy to make. It’s convenient when it’s too early or late for delivery. 

Jisung slouches against their counter and opens his arms. Felix settles in against him, a little taller because he’s standing up straight but fully enclosed once Jisung wraps his arms around him. Jisung’s wearing a thin tee shirt that feels soft against his exposed skin. His friend is so warm. 

Jisung reaches up to stroke his hair, then pulls out the hair tie Seungmin had put in earlier. His hair doesn’t really move, too fried to easily reset, so Jisung rakes his fingers through it. Felix relaxes into the touch, purring. 

“That’s better,” Jisung says, resting his face against Felix’s collarbone. Felix just barely makes it out over the rumbling from his chest. 

Being with Jisung is nice. These days, he gives out affection endlessly and loves like it’s as easy as breathing. A couple years ago, Felix was convinced Jisung didn’t like him. He gets now that Jisung was in a dark place and needed support. The person he relied on was Minho, so it was really rough when they switched dorm arrangements. He was always with Minho, and Felix would seethe with jealousy towards both of them. 

Now, he never has to question Jisung’s feelings towards him. They talk, they text, and– the kettle beeps– Jisung always takes care of him. 

Felix reluctantly backs up so Jisung can get up, only to be pulled back in for one last moment.

Jisung grabs Felix’s mug, the light blue one with blossoming almond flowers Hyunjin got for him from some museum, and Minho’s mug that has little cats all over it. He pours water into both of them.

“Wait, shit, I forgot to add the teabags,” Jisung drops one into each of the mugs, then pushes them down with a spoon. They pop back up. Felix laughs, grabbing his own spoon and mug. After a press, his teabag is waterlogged enough to stay down. 

Jisung holds his mug up to his face to inhale the steam. He sighs contentedly. 

Felix leans in to inhale Jisung’s mug’s steam as well. Their noses touch. It’s warm and mild, but it mixes beautifully with Jisung’s scent. 

“I think in another world, this would’ve been your job,” Felix says wistfully.

“What, making tea? Or just standing around with tea?” Jisung laughs, eyes wide and a little crosseyed from trying to look at Felix from so close.

“Mmmm, you’d work at a spa or something.” Felix finally steps back to blow on his own mug. It ripples with his breath. “The ahjummas would love you, they’d tip you to flex for them and try to set you up with their grandchildren.”

Jisung puts a hand on his hip. “You’re acting like that doesn’t already happen to you.”

“Oh yeah, I get asked to flex alllll the time.”

“I mean, yeah! At concerts! But you know what I mean,” Jisung says, taking a cautious sip from his mug. He hisses. Felix takes that as a cue to wait a few more minutes. 

Jisung suddenly gets a mischievous look in his eyes. “You know, it’s tough being in the same group as the second most beautiful person in Seoul.”

Felix raises a brow, but plays along. “Oh, really, second best? Who’s number one, Hyunjin? Minho? You?”

Jisung leans back and waves a hand at him. “Come on, isn’t it obvious?” He pauses for a second, then spreads his arms dramatically. “J. Y. P.”

Felix can’t help but laugh, as stupid as it is. Then he notices Jisung pushing himself up again.

“We can sit, it’s okay.” 

Jisung waves him off. “It’s fine, I like the kitchen. It’s got a nice view.” The kitchen window looks out over a tiny parking lot and a brick wall.

“It’s really okay,” Felix says. Sure, he’d maybe prefer to stay standing at least for a little while to stretch out his aching back, but Jisung’s clearly fighting the urge to sway. 

“And I’m okay in here.” Jisung accents his statement with a gulp of tea. He doesn’t react badly, so Felix takes a sip of his as well before pointedly looking him up and down. “Don’t make that face at me! I’m fine. I had a lovely evening of putting Minho to bed then watching dramas on the TV without having to fight Hyunjin for the remote for once. Well, after Seungmin’s stupid baseball game finished. But that’s besides the point. I finally finished that drama I’ve been telling you about, with the big wedding? Cried my eyes out, it was so beautiful. Then I got to pass out over here, where it doesn’t smell overwhelmingly like alpha all the time. Actually, Innie’s pretty strong, but–”

“How many hours of sleep did you get last night?” Felix asks, a little astonished.

Jisung pouts. “What, a man can’t talk anymore? You yap just as much, if not more than I do, Lix.”

Felix rolls his eyes and grabs Jisung’s free hand. “Come on, put on another show. You can sit, I’ll stretch.” It sucks sometimes, thinking of all the things he just can’t do. He can’t even–

“Stretch?” Jisung exaggeratedly bats his lashes at him. 

“Shut up, perv. Behind the couch,” Felix says, but he smiles where the other can’t see it. 

Jisung had apparently been curled up in the large fluffy blue blanket they keep in the basket beside their couch, based on how it’s scrunched across the cushions. It gets washed every couple of weeks, usually by Seungmin, but it gets used often enough that it smells almost overpoweringly of them. Occasionally it disappears, coincidentally just as Minho is stopping by the other dorm to drop off food when one of their members is having a particularly rough time. Maybe now it’s got Jisung’s scent, too. That would be nice. 

Jisung slumps down onto the couch when Felix yanks him over to it, dramatically landing on his face.

“Hey, don’t break your nose. The ahjummas and probably Chan will cry.”

“If I did, would you kiss it better?” comes a muffled voice from the couch.

Felix scoffs but leans down to fold his arms on the back of the couch, gently arching his back. “Maybe.”

Jisung wiggles his way up to Felix, pursing his lips.

“I said your nose, dummy.”

“But I broke my lips.” Felix shakes his head but has to fold in the face of Jisung’s lethal puppy eyes. Hamster eyes, maybe. He really can make himself look small and pathetic. They kiss, and Felix even lets Jisung keep him drawn in for a few extra seconds before he breaks it off to stand back up. “So, what’s the show gonna be?”

Jisung turns on their TV and turns on Netflix. It apparently needs to update, so it reboots. That’s fine, it gives Felix time to grab his tea and finish it before he forgets. He forgot to take the teabag out and he craves sugar, but it’s fine. He needs to be better hydrated, and it seems like this tea blend has ginger, so that’s probably good too.

As he settles back behind the couch, Jisung’s phone buzzes and lights up with a message. Jisung’s busy fiddling with the battery cover on the back of the remote, so Felix sees that it’s from Minho Hyung Jagiya Baby and reads, How’s it going with Yongbok? before Jisung manages to flip his phone back over. He whips around, eyes wide and guilty.

Felix just sighs, but he smiles a bit so Jisung doesn’t freak out too badly. “It’s okay, I thought hyung was probably responsible for this whole thing somehow. Him not instantly losing it with Chan was the nail in the coffin.”

Jisung makes several aborted attempts at gesturing something before he just throws his hands up. “I mean, a little? You fainted, and then you stopped reaching out for a while there, Lix. Everyone was worried. Hyung said we should try to set up stuff with you once you were feeling a little bit better, but I think everyone was already planning to. Chan started working on getting that reservation months ago.”

“Hyung said it was BamBam-hyung’s, since he’s out of town.” Felix says, tilting his head. 

“Maybe it was his reservation, but Got7 has a press run tomorrow. I’m pretty sure he’s in town.” Jisung says softly. “Maybe they traded, I think Chan’s was a few weeks away.”

“Huh.”

“Anyway, I know Hyunjin and Changbin-hyung went out with you. Minho’s Minho so I’m sure he was the first one on it. I think Seungmin and Innie were maybe planning to take you to a gaming cafe that one day it really stormed?” Jisung laughs at Felix’s even further tilted head. “Yeah, the managers didn’t want us going out so they had to cancel, but apparently Innie ‘jumped you’ the week before so it all worked out.” Jisung raises an eyebrow. “Messed up our spacing, but I guess that’s alright.”

Felix clicks his tongue. He’s not sure if it was Jeongin, Seungmin, Hyunjin, or Changbin who spilled the beans about their night together, but he’ll figure it out sooner or later. For right now, Jisung’s still making that face, so he finds a new topic. “That doesn’t account for you.”

Jisung predictably flounders. “Hyung is coming down with something, I swear! It’s not that bad, but I did think he should go to bed early, especially since he has to be up early. I had loose plans for tomorrow, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be free and tonight just worked, like, organic,” he ends in English.

“Organically?” Felix corrects. 

“Super organically. If I’d planned this out, I would’ve– wait, shit!” Jisung tries to get up, but he’s wrapped in the blanket, so he has to weakly stumble free. He runs into the kitchen. Felix just waits, listening to the sound of feet slapping across the kitchen floor and then the sound of the faucet. 

Jisung comes back with a glass of water and a pill. Based on the color and size, it’s Felix’s pain medication. “I was supposed to give this to you ages ago, I’m so sorry Lix. It’s already so late…”

Felix waves him off. “It’s alright, I usually take them later when I’m planning on sleeping in to give me at least eight hours. It’s actually not a bad time now.” He takes the water and pill from Jisung, whose hand was apparently warm or sweaty enough to slightly muddy the small letters on the pill. He doesn’t really care, he takes it the same way he takes all his pills.

“Still, I swear, I set an alarm and everything!” Jisung grabs his phone and quickly turns it on, only for it to start buzzing, flashing, and playing what sounds like Teenagers by My Chemical Romance. It’s a lot.

Felix shrugs and says, “There’s your alarm, I guess.” Jisung seems too shocked to do it himself, so Felix quickly hits stop before it wakes up the rest of the house. It was sweet of him to set it that loud, but Seungmin takes his sleep very seriously. (They all do, honestly, but Seungmin’s the only one who’s ever chased Felix down with a baseball for gaming too loudly, so that gives him extra points.)

Jisung finally texts Minho back before they tidy the living room, wash their mugs, and head up to get ready for bed. Felix gets changed in his bedroom and washes his face, brushes his teeth, and loosely braids his hair in his bathroom, but goes to the other end of their apartment afterwards. 

Felix quietly slides into Minho’s room. It’s dark, but he can make out two figures curled in Minho’s bed, one lying close to the wall and the other near the middle but beginning to move to the other edge of the bed. 

He closes the door and tiptoes across the carpet, climbing in between the two. From the faint light coming in from the blinds, Minho’s clearly passed out, curled in with his back to the wall and just faintly purring. Jisung’s on the other side, and he lifts the blankets to help Felix slide his legs under. Felix slides down, accepting the extra pillow Minho keeps tucked in the open shelf of his nightstand from Jisung and repositioning himself until he feels right. Jisung snuggles against him, pulling Minho in closer as well. 

The warmth and the comfort of their scents has him out like a light.