Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's a pretty nice day, a little too nice to spend ages in line at the drive thru, but what can you do
Spencer's still glad he didn't go to McDonalds. Despite it being way less busy right now, that was where all the conformists went, he wouldn't get caught dead over there
(Plus, he really wanted some onion rings, and it's not like they have any over there)

He's kinda pissed off that the other dudes sent him here on his own... something about the webisode being 'more important' than running off to go get fast food, what is he? an extra, or whatever?

Anyway, the guy in front of him is taking way too long to order, what is he getting? like, ten whoppers?
He's just about to try honking at him, when he FINALLY moves up
It's about friggin time he got to order, dang...

Spencer turns down the obnoxiously loud indie cover band on the radio, and rolls down the window
"Yo, can i get, like, uhh" He pauses a second, realizing he completely forgot to ask what any of them actually wanted (if anything at all)
But whatever, he'll just get a burger each, no way they'd be that picky about fast food anyway
"Four whoppers"

"K, you want fries with that?" The equally unenthusiastic fast food worker asks, the cheap speaker picking up the annoying gum chewing sounds on the other end

"Nahh, bro, onion rings obvs"

"Sorry, man. All out of those. Busy day"

Spencer sighs melodramatically, just making sure everyone in the immediate vicinity knows he isn't happy with this
"Damn, weaksauce... I guess I will have fries with that, then. As long as it doesn't cost more or anything"
Those things are totally conformist, but whatevs, he's hungry

-

"Just a heads up, they were out of what I usually get, so I had to get fries instead, which are like, totally not my style, but I hope it's cool"

"Oh, that's fine!" Ryan reassures him with a hand flip, taking one of the two fast food bags "Why don't you like fries, if you don't mind me asking?"

Spencer's glad that Ryan at least seems cool about it. Not that he was worried for a second that he'd get up and ditch him or something wack like that
"Well, duh, they're for posers" He answers, digging the fry box out of his own bag and setting it down next to Ryan's, since apparently, he seems to like them (which he's not that happy about, but whatever, it's not the end of the world)

"So... have you ever actually tried one?"

"Nah, why would I?"

"Because you might like them! why else?"

Spencer blinks, Ryan totally doesn't get it
It's not about the food, or whatever. It's the principle
The only things he bothers with are the things that make him cool and different, why waste his time on anything else?
Especially stuff that might lump him in with the same posers that made him feel the need to be so counter-culture in the first place

But, actually, it feels like the opposite is going on right now
He doesn't seem at all like those douchebags from college
Actually, he seems kinda like him in a way
Except, he's got this look to him, like he means everything he says
He could tell that the other guys were pretty much just ignoring him (which is whatever, it's not like he went out of his way to give them his cool ideas or anything)
But Ryan seems like he actually cares about what he has to say
Weird...

-

Just out of sight, Neil and Kevin are spying on the two from behind a tree
Kevin told Neil to be patient earlier, but he's BEEN patient for 5 whole minutes and nothing's happening
"So, what do we do, Kevin?" He asks, "our plan is never gonna work without Ryan!"

"Yeah... I hate to say it, Neil. but I think you're right" Kevin replies, feeling a bit hopeless as he lowers his binoculars "we're not getting anything done by just sitting around and staring at them, we've gotta think of some other way to get Him out of the picture" He gestures to Spencer off in the distance

"I dunno... they look pretty happy. I mean, there's gotta be something we just aren't seeing, right?" Neil voices, glancing back at the two through the binoculars "and that food does look pretty good..."

"Now, don't let him fool you too!" Kevin asserts, he can't lose BOTH of his friends to that hipster wannabe! "If there was anything worth seeing, we'd have seen it by now. It's been almost a whole day, and the wiseguy's done nothing but spout nonsense and expect us to go along with it!"

"Huh... yeah! you're right!" Of course, Neil didn't actually think too much about why that made sense to him in the first place, but Kevin's usually right anyway (...key word being 'usually')
"but, it's getting kinda dark... maybe we should head back to the clubhouse to figure it out?"

"Well-" Kevin sighs, apparently deciding to let go of whatever he was about to say "alright, yeah, lets go, Neil"

-

Spencer ultimately decided not to try some of the fries he'd bought. That would totally throw off his whole thing anyway

They didn't stay long after that, having roughly the same conversation as Neil and Kevin, they decided to head back when the sun began to set

Speaking of Neil and Kevin...
"Well, there's gotta be SOMETHING... maybe a hipster exterminator?" Neil wonders, his voice muffled through the door, but still audible enough to make Spencer hesitate before turning the doorknob to enter
He doesn't know what that could be for, but something tells him it's probably bad

Ryan seems like he heard it too, the way he laughs awkwardly "Don't worry, I'm sure they mean some other hipster!"

Spencer rolls his eyes, just going ahead and walking in
The door creaks and shows some resistance, prompting a "Shh, they're back" and a "Quick! act natural!" followed by a thud and some shuffling noises

When he finally gets it open, the first thing he notices is one of the kitchen stools overturned on the floor, then Neil right beside it, pretending to read a very clearly upside down newspaper.
Kevin isn't doing a much better job of playing it off like they weren't just technically plotting to kill him. He looks like he was about to try helping Neil back up until he ran out of time and just decided to stay where he was
"Oh, hey, you two" Kevin greets them with his hands folded in his lap, noticeably glancing at Neil on the floor
"how are... things?"

Ryan smiles, choosing to ignore the obvious conspiracy they've been planning. It's not like they actually mean anything by it after all
"Oh, just awesome! how about you guys?"

"Never been better" Neil replies, his voice straining with discomfort, still not bothering to get up from the floor just yet

Spencer hangs in the doorway for a second before deciding to just shrug it off like he does everything else. He'll worry about all this later (Or never. Maybe just forget about it actually)
"Y'know, I actually bought you bros some food earlier. It's probs cold by now, but microwaves exist, so..." he explains halfheartedly, setting down the crumpled fast-food bag on the counter next to Kevin

Neil rolls his eyes from under the newspaper
Oh, of course, he's acting all nice at first, buying them food and going on picnics with Ryan... then next thing they'll know, they're all wearing studded belts and taking pictures of things instead of actually enjoying them, just like Kevin warned him about!
And the worst part? Ryan has no clue about the trickery going on right under his nose!
But at least he'll have to go home soon. It's not like they'll have to put up with him all the time, right?

"So, uh, anyways, I better go unpack the rest of my stuff" Spencer explains before turning to leave the room, more than ready to quit this awkward conversation

Neil sits up abruptly at the mention of unpacking, throwing the newspaper in the air dramatically "What?!"

"Yeah, what? you're not gonna be living here at the clubhouse, are you, Spencer?" Kevin questions with a raise of his eyebrow

"Well, ch'yeah? that's part of my deal with the studio" He chuckles incredulously "plus, my real house is like, a million miles away or whatever"

Neil and Kevin exchange apprehensive looks
This cannot be good...

"Oh, this is perfect!" Ryan claps his hands together excitedly "I was just thinking, we should all have a sleepover for old-time's sake!"

"Ehh, I dunno, Ryan" Kevin hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck "maybe some other time?" (when there's not a hipster actively trying to destroy what they've all built together?)

"Huh, really? that's unlike you, Kevin. I thought you liked sleepovers..." He trails off like he just realized something, shooting a glance at Neil, who just shakes his head and cringes in return

This confuses Kevin. He's not really sure what prompted that, but he's not in the mood to figure it out right now
And that is true, what he said, but he can't remember ever telling Ryan about that... but it is Ryan after all, he does just know things sometimes
Though, he gets a weird sense of deja vu when he thinks too hard about it

"So... can I like, go now, or...?"
Spencer still hasn't left yet, sort of just waiting awkwardly for the others to make up their minds first

"Yeah, you do that, Spencer" Neil waves him off dismissively

Ryan is just about to follow after him, when Kevin stops him
"Ryan, I think we need to have a serious talk about this new guy"

"Oh, well, sure!" Ryan agrees without thinking much of the tone Kevin put forth in that sentence "...why?"

-

Spencer takes a look around the room that's supposed to be his sort of bedroom for however long this contract thing lasts
Yeah, this is probably the most boring room he's ever seen in his life
And dusty, too. It's almost like it's a storage room in a building that isn't actually supposed to have anyone living in it or something!
...Which, y'know... it is. Besides the bed, it's just a bunch of old junk in here
But whatever, he'll make it work. Maybe some of this stuff is old enough to pass off as ironic performance art-pieces anyway

He already took all the stuff he brought with him out of his car, which isn't much
Just the essentials, like cigarettes, his cd collection, some posters, that sorta stuff
Plus a beanbag. That one was an impulse decision, but probably the best one he could've made, since that's probably the coolest thing in the whole room now by default (unless you count him, heh)

He's just about to sit down, when somebody knocks on the door
The one he JUST walked through maybe 5 minutes ago
...Who does that??

He opens it (obv, like, what else is he gonna do?)
Turns out, Ryan is who does that
"Uhh, I kinda just walked in here, you didn't have to knock, bro-man"

"Oh, I know" Ryan shrugs "It's just common courtesy"
"Anyway, I have some good news and some bad news"
"The bad news is that Neil and Kevin won't be joining us for the sleepover. They... had other plans, it seems" He breaks eye contact when he says that, like he's alluding to something ominous
"But I'll still be here. That's the good news!"

"Oh, sick" Spencer replies, not really taking much of that in
"Uh, anyway, I was about to push this bed into the corner, but it's probably wicked heavy, so, since you're here, I could totes use some help"

-

Ryan turns the lamp on as Spencer flicks the light-switch off at the door
"So, I can sleep anywhere?"

"Sure, wood-bro-wilson, do whatever" Spencer replies as he walks back and sits down on the bed, the old springs creaking under his weight

When given this confirmation, Ryan immediately lays down on the floor, staring at the ceiling with an out of place intensity

Spencer 100% expected him to choose the beanbag, so this catches him so off-guard he genuinely snickers a little
"So, you're not even gonna get a blanket or anything?"

"No, I think I'll be fine" He smiles, turning his head to face him "I've slept in much worse places"

Huh, maybe this guy is actually pretty rad after all
That's, like, kinda weird, but, dang
No blanket? not even Spencer can sleep without one of those things
"Nice, that's awesome, dude" He replies, kicking his legs up onto the bed and leaning back against his pillow
"I just have one cause it's like, ironic, y'know?" He explains unwarranted

"...I'm not sure you're using that word right"

"Nah, cause everyone else sleeps with blankets, and I, like, totally don't even need one anyway, so it's ironic that I have one, get it?"

"Oh, alright. When you put it that way, I think I do get it" Ryan agrees, still not really understanding why that was necessary to point out in the first place, but Spencer seems to know what he's talking about

"See? told you so" Spencer says before switching off the bedside lamp, satisfied that at least Someone around here listens when he's talking
"Anyway, night, dude"

"Goodnight, Spencer"

Man, today had to have been one of the top ten coolest days of Spencer's life for sure
I mean, Neil and Kevin are kinda triangles (squares, but less), but this guy really seems to get him, as far as he can tell at least
He is kind of a weirdo, but no one ever said Spencer was normal himself
Which is good, who'd wanna be normal anyway?
Ugh, those conformists, with their top 50 radio hits, and their sports teams, and... friends
Which he, y'know, also has
He has tons of Myspace friends
Probs more than Ryan does anyway. Does he even use social media?
Speaking (or, well, thinking) of which, he thinks he can hear him tossing and turning
Figures. Spencer probably isn't gonna get much sleep tonight either, he never does

But, the sudden feeling of being watched is pretty new.
Jeez, he gets that he's never slept in the same room as someone else, his brain doesn't need to rub it in by making him all paranoid about it.
It's not like anyone's Actually watching him right now. He's gotten pretty good at ignoring all that weird biz his mind tries telling him late at night, why should tonight be any different?

...That creepy breathing, that's why!
No way that's not real, it's like, inches away from his face
There's no fan or anything in here either, so it's pretty much all he can hear right now
And despite the lack of any source, it's Definitely colder in here than it should be... isn't it like, the middle of summer?
Okay, this is Not cool, this is the opposite of cool, so unrad
He should probably open his eyes and make sure it's not some kind of ghost chick or whatever (even though ghosts are so like... 1937)
But, uh, he just doesn't feel like it, y'know?
Even though finding out whatever terrifying monster is probably standing over him would probably be so awesome, he'll have to pass on that

Until one of the floorboards creaks a little too loud, and he squints his eyes open anyway on impulse

From the moonlight shining through the window behind him, he can tell it's in fact Not a ghost chick, or a terrifying monster, it's just Ryan
But with those weirdly piercing blue eyes, and the long hair, he could probably pass for both of those things right now

"Uh... 'sup?"

Ryan flinches, a bit embarrassed
He didn't realize Spencer was still awake... does that mean he was staring back at him? god knows he wouldn't be able to tell in this light
"Sorry, I can't quite get to sleep I guess" He looks away. Despite not being able to see them, he'd still rather not make eye contact right now

"It's chill, don't worry about it" Spencer assures him, pretty relieved that he's Not about to die and stuff
"I can't either, so... I dunno" (Mostly because Ryan was seriously creeping him out a second ago, but he doesn't need to know that)

"Well, then what do we do now?"

"What if we, like, drove around town or something" He sits up, turning the lamp back on "Everything's closed right now, but that's totally why we should go for it"

"...I'm not following"

"Nobody Expects dudes to be out when there's nothing to do" He gestures vaguely like a conductor with a limp wrist "And like, I know technically that's just a waste of gas and it's bad for the environment and stuff, but I don't have enough cash for an electric car anyway, so it's like... the man's fault, or whatever"

"What a complex and long-winded way of shifting blame that wasn't on you in the first place..." Ryan observes mostly under his breath, staring blankly into the middle distance

Spencer doesn't really know what to say to that, so he just doesn't say anything

Ryan blinks, realizing he must've said that out loud
"Oh, sorry, what I meant to say is we should definitely do that. Let's go!"

Spencer just laughs off that previous comment, getting up to fetch his car keys
"Alright, dude. Just don't fall asleep on me or anything"

-

"You know, I just realized how long it's been since I've sat in a car" Ryan comments, watching the blurred scenery outside the window
"Kevin keeps telling us he's still working on his truck," Despite his friends not being present, he still uses 'us' instead of referring to them by their names "but I don't think he's actually set foot in his garage since Max showed up." which, come to think of it, was quite some time ago now...

"There's more of you bros?"

He turns back to Spencer
"Oh, no. Max wasn't our 'bro' by any means! thankfully, he didn't exactly... stick around" Ryan must've had a strange look on his face when he said that, because if he didn't know any better, he'd think Spencer looked a little unnerved

Man, that was kinda creepy
The way he phrased that last part made it sound like he murdered the guy or something
"I totally get that. It's So not cool when some rando shows up and starts totally messing with your life and all that biz"

"I couldn't have said it better myself" Ryan agrees, slowly shaking his head in reverence at this bold new vocabulary

After a few seconds of silence, Spencer notices how clear the sky is out above the backroad he chose to drive down
Space has always made him kinda nervous for some weird reason he hasn't thought to look into, but it looks so cool at the same time
"Is the view around here always this far out?"

Ryan looks up at the dark blue, almost picturesque sky outside the window, taking note of the few constellations he can recognize
"Huh, it is especially starry out, isn't it..." He agrees, squinting a bit
"Did you know that a lot of constellations have stories attached to them?"

"Oh, yeah, like that Orion guy, right?" Admittedly, Spencer's never been a mythology kinda guy. He's known a few girls in the past that were super into astrology, but he's like, 60% sure those aren't the same thing

"Yeah!" Ryan replies, clearly passionate about this particular topic "And that Ariadne... such a tragedy her tale was"

"Uh, heh, yeah" Spencer awkwardly agrees, immediately wanting to change the subject before Ryan realizes he didn't actually understand what he just said
"So, we could probably stop here and just hang out if you're cool with that"

"Alright then. That sounds good"
Ryan would be content doing just about anything right now. New friends don't come his way very often, so needless to say, he'd be thrilled by just getting to know someone else and nothing more

"Nice, I need a smoke break anyway"
Spencer parks off to the side of an old dirt road and almost immediately climbs into the trunk to open it up
It's one of those cars with folding seats in the back, so there's a lot of room for stuff that he doesn't actually need

Ryan watches, a little confused as to why Spencer would climb back there to smoke instead of just rolling down the windows

"I figured out that it's better to just pop the trunk and stuff after a while" He explains, almost answering Ryan's thoughts exactly "plus there's less of a chance that we, like, die from smoke inhalation or something"

Ignoring the iffy logic of that last part, Ryan follows him into the trunk after unbuckling his seatbelt, which he only now notices that Spencer hadn't put on earlier. He'll have to remind him of the importance of seatbelt safety in a bit after this.

Spencer watches Ryan sit down right next to him as he fishes a lighter and cig out of his pocket. A little too close for comfort, but it's not like there's a lot of room for People in this trunk anyway.
He takes a drag. It's always kinda satisfying watching the smoke puff out in front of him like he's a human fog machine or something.

Ryan coughs a bit as the smoke hits his face. Despite not being in front of Spencer, his cigarette smoke still wafts over him quite intensely.

Spencer notices this, subconsciously lowering the cigarette.
"What? You not used to smoke or something?"

"No, not really. I have my vices, but smoking isn't one of them." He'd like to explain the dangers of smoking, but he supposes that would make him a bit hypocritical, considering the fact that alcohol (specifically wine) isn't much better.

"Huh." Is the only thing Spencer can come up with in response, switching to holding it with the hand furthest from Ryan.
He probably should've guessed that.
Kind of a bummer, but it's not like he was gonna share his cigarette with him or anything lame like that...

Ryan stares at Spencer a little less than discreetly in curious observation as he takes a few more puffs
"...You know, I don't think I've stayed up this late in a long time" He comments after a bit of slightly awkward silence.
The last time he was out at a time like this was when he was still masquerading as a vigilante. Funny enough, he doesn't think he would've been too fond of Spencer had he met him back then.
He'd actually only just gotten to sleeping at semi-normal hours recently, but he's still happy with staying up, so long as he can keep talking with his new friend.

"For reals?"
"I stay up this late all the time" He replies, extending his arm out of the trunk to flick some ash off his cigarette "It's like a mega exclusive party or something"
Admittedly, the only reason he does is because he can't sleep. Maybe he isn't as good at ignoring things as he thought.
Speaking of which, his eyelids Are pretty heavy now that he's thinking about it.

For some reason, Ryan's expression wavers a little at that, like he has something on his mind.
He brings his knees up to his chest to rest his hands on them, debating on whether or not to bring it up.
"...Hey, spencer?"

Spencer turns his head to face him again, looking at him expectantly.

Ryan takes this as a go-ahead.
"Do you ever get the feeling that..." He struggles to put it into words "there's something separating you from everyone else?" he looks away as he says this, like he's already regretting saying anything at all.

It takes Spencer a second to realize he was asking for both of them.
That was kind of a weird question. He doesn't actually know how to answer, but he's sure he can figure it out, so he'll just start talking and hope he comes up with something in the process
"Uhh, I guess so, yeah" It's true, on the very rare occasions he lets himself care enough to notice, he can acknowledge his sort of innate difference from the people around him, if only to help himself feel more superior
"But, I mean, it's kinda sick when you think about it, cause like," He fumbles for a way to turn this around since he can tell Ryan apparently feels bad about it for whatever reason "that just means you're cooler than everyone else, y'know?" admittedly, he's kind of referring more to himself there, but then he sees Ryan raise his eyebrows in surprise

His expression as he looks back at him has more meaning in it than Spencer is comfortable with
"...Do you think I'm cool?" He asks, incredulous, yet flattered.

Spencer stares blankly at him for a few seconds, his confident demeanor momentarily vanishing. He definitely misinterpreted that last part.
But, he doesn't see why he should backtrack, since however Ryan just took that, it probably made things better.
"Uh, sure, whatever..." He mutters, taking a huge drag of his partially neglected cigarette (not cause that made him nervous or anything, he just doesn't wanna let a perfectly good cig burn out)

Ryan smiles at that. He's been smiling all day, really.
First there was the promise of being able to collect those worms for the webisode, then those new bricks, and now a whole new friend who just might understand the parts of him that even Neil and Kevin don't?
It's like some benevolent higher power decided to make this his lucky day!

Spencer's kind of too tired to carry out the rest of the conversation at this point (guess that cigarette mellowed him out more than he thought it would) but thankfully he doesn't really have to.
Ryan changed the subject pretty quickly after that, apparently, he's still not done talking about that mythology stuff or whatever. It just ends up fading into the background anyway (Spencer's never really been a good listener, especially when he doesn't care that much about the topic)

"You know, I saw a piece of art on a vase once that said 'Ariadne abandoned by Theseus' which really confused me because everything I had read before that described Theseus as intending to come back for her, so I thought it was really strange that it specifically said 'abandoned' when Dionysus supposedly commanded him to leave her so he could have her for himself and-"
Ryan's rambling is cut off by a sudden weight on his shoulder.
He blinks, slowly turning his head to look down at Spencer's now sleeping form leaning on him for support.
Of course, he doesn't mind this... He's just a bit caught off guard is all. He did seem tired, but Ryan didn't think he was That tired

It seems like he didn't really intend to fall asleep just then either, his glasses still on, and his cigarette still lit.
He debates whether or not to wake him up because of this, but he finds he's a bit tired now himself, so he decides to leave him be after he takes care of those

He slowly removes Spencer's glasses, the plastic rims warm in his hands as he folds them closed before setting them down to the side.
He isn't sure what to do about the cigarette at first, but he settles for just putting it out with his thumb. He'd rather get a small blister than risk leaving it lit after all.

Then, satisfied that they most likely won't accidentally set anything on fire, he relaxes, eventually allowing himself to lean back against Spencer as well.
But he still doesn't doze off just yet.
He takes a few more moments to just sit and listen to the breathing beside him, finding himself subconsciously mimicking the rhythm of it.
He would compare this to a few hours earlier when he'd nearly fallen back into old habits, watching him sleep and such... but this feels much different than that.
Ryan feels... trusted. Trusted without a second thought, or most likely, not a single thought at all.

It's nice.

-

Now, what were Neil and Kevin doing that night?
Well, turns out they ended up having their own sleepover at Neil's house. They weren't exactly happy about it, but they had to come up with a plan to get rid of Spencer that didn't involve Ryan's help, and fast...

"So, we should probably try to avoid murder, right?" Neil asked, scooting the dining chair closer to the table

"Yeah... I mean, Ryan really seems to like the guy, so he'd probably get upset if we did that"

"Dangit" Neil whispered sharply in disappointment
"What does he see in that guy anyway? it's like he never stops talking!"

"Well, you remember what Ryan was like when we first met him don't you?"

Neil tried to think back to their first point of meeting, or really any point of meeting where they hadn't already seen or at least known about each other. It shouldn't have been hard to do, they had only started making webisodes about a year or two ago, but he just couldn't remember how things were before then.
"...Not really, no"

"Yeah, me neither" Kevin replied with a tired sigh "I don't know why I said that"
"I was so sure that we could just wait this one out earlier, but I just can't stand Spencer much longer..."

"Try being stuck listening to him talk about the difference between Facebook and Myspace for an hour"
Not just that, but having to pretend to be interested in his terrible photography too. Spencer insisted on showing Neil his Flickr account after Ryan and Kevin left to fetch their film equipment
Not only was all of it in black and white, but the angles he chose were... 'experimental' to say the least.

"I thought Ryan and I were only gone for 10 minutes"

"Well, it sure felt like an hour!" Neil crossed his arms in exasperation

"Alright, alright. Let's just focus on the task at hand right now"

"Maybe we could dress him up like a rabbit and get a giant bird to carry him away"

Kevin snickered at that idea. It was funny, sure, but it also sounded like something Ryan might've come up with
This would be so much easier if he was with them right now...
Of course, they had already tried to get him on board with their plan a few hours earlier, but he refused to go along with it
So, as much as Kevin hated to admit it, he probably wasn't going to be joining in on their schemes anytime soon, which was a real shame, Ryan loves scheming

A contemplative silence fell over them
They had already given Ryan reason to be suspicious of them if they tried a more direct approach like the one Neil had come up with...
So what if they tried something less direct?

"We could try telling the studio how awful he is" Neil shrugged

"Ehh, I dunno about that... you know how long it takes them to get back to us sometimes"
"Besides, we're on thin ice as it is after all that arson"

Neil discreetly rolled his eyes, recalling the events of last month
"You're the one who lit the fireworks"

"Hey! I told you I didn't drop that lighter on purpose!" Kevin defended himself, clearly still not over it "It made a loud noise, and I got scared. We ALL do stupid things on the 4th of July"

"Yeah, I guess you're right" Neil relented without much protest "In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best idea to bring that propane tank with us in the first place either"
He dismissed himself, he was getting sidetracked
"Anyway-- it doesn't matter how thin the ice we're on is! The studio brought him to us, can't they just take him back?"

Kevin, completely out of ideas and frankly running low on sanity, ultimately had to agree
"Alright, fine... at this point I'm willing to do anything to get rid of this guy"

"Good, let's get this email drafted then"
Neil, eager to finally do something that wasn't just talking and waiting around, got up to fetch his laptop for the strongly worded message they'd be spending the next few hours writing

It was going to be a long night, but if they were lucky, it'd be worth it.

Chapter Text

Spencer wakes up not really remembering where he is at first
Just that he's leaning on something- or, no, actually, Someone, he realizes when he sits back upright and Ryan flinches awake after almost falling back onto him

"Oh! sorry about that!" Ryan quickly apologizes, already seeming completely awake and alert, the light sleeper he is "Good morning"

"You're good..." Spencer replies without thinking, kinda freaking out silently. Something just feels off right now and he can't figure out what
"Hey, uh, didn't i tell you not to fall asleep on me last night?" He adds jokingly
Only when he goes to rub some of the sleep out of his eyes does he realize why he feels off, he's missing his glasses. They're knockoffs, so they're totally one-of-a-kind, he can't just go out and buy a new pair
Plus, he def didn't take them off last night, so where did they even go?

Ryan's a little confused, Spencer was the one that up and fell asleep on his shoulder, so why is he now blaming him?
Oh well, perhaps he's just embarrassed. Nothing more
He notices him looking around for something, which reminds him that Spencer probably doesn't know where his glasses went
"Looking for these i presume?" He holds them out to him "I hope you don't mind i took them off for you last night. It's not good to sleep with them on you know!"

"...Oh" Crisis averted "Thanks, Martin Van Bro-ren" he says, flicking the rims back open and securing them back on his face
Much better. I mean, it's not like he actually needs them to see, but for some reason he just feels kinda exposed without them... whatever. It's probably weird to get hung up on stuff like that, so he'll just forget about it
Another thing that's probably kinda weird is how off-limits the mental picture of Ryan removing his glasses seems, like he's not allowed to think about that right now for some reason
So... guess he won't do that either

Funny, Ryan thought he was the spacey one, but it seems like Spencer's taken up that role this morning
"Well, you're welcome!" He replies with a slightly concerned smile "Say, i think we should head back to the clubhouse now, don't you?"

"Totally"

-

The next few weeks pass in a blink for Ryan and Spencer
For Neil and Kevin, however, it might as well have been years. At least the studio has been giving them some time off from making webisodes lately, there's no telling how many things they'd have to veto if they were still being prompted all this time... Spencer would probably insist they film everything at a dutch angle, blech!

Anyway, on this particular afternoon, it's Ryan's turn to get the mail
The new kids often forget to check the mailbox at the clubhouse since the studio's usually more direct about their method of getting messages to them, and it's not like anything important ever gets sent there anyway besides a few bills

But to Ryan's surprise, he finds some kind of party invitation lying atop the overflowing pile of lovely fan mail and thoughtful death threats

How exciting! he's never been to a party before, and it says it's for later tonight, too! Just when he thought he was about to have a boring day with nothing to do...

-

Once back inside, he relays the contents of the invitation to Neil and Kevin, hoping maybe they'll agree to go with him

Sadly, they don't seem too keen on it

"A party, huh?" Kevin acknowledges, looking up from his computer screen "I don't know... that could be pretty risky with all the violence we've been attracting lately"

"Yeah, it doesn't even have our names on it or anything. Somebody definitely put that in the mailbox themselves" Neil adds before resuming spinning around in the office chair adjacent to Kevin's

Ryan's a little annoyed, to say the least. They've been brushing him off a lot lately, and it's starting to get irritating
"Well, what's that have to do with anything?" He questions, crossing his arms defensively

"I'm thinking either everyone in town got one of those, or it's from those guys that keep throwing bricks at us..." Neil voices "they're probably planning an ambush" He considers, still spinning

Kevin, still mostly focusing on the screen in front of him, gives a silent nod in agreement

"What a creative idea that would be" Ryan notes with a certain fondness, briefly forgetting that he's supposed to be upset
"Anyway," He begins with a sigh "if you two want to sit this out, be my guest, but I won't be passing this chance up"

"Woah, you sure?" Kevin asks, closing whatever he had opened on the computer a second ago. This is more important
"What if you get hurt?"

"Since when have you two ever been worried about that?" Ryan questions with an incredulous expression
"Besides, I'm sure I'll be fine!" Kevin of all people should know that he could definitely hold his own if he were to get into some kind of fight or skirmish (He may or may not still feel a little bad about pinning him to the wall of that alley, no matter how long ago it was)
"Since neither of you are interested, I'll just bring Spencer along instead!"

They both open their mouths to protest, but Ryan leaves the room too quickly for them to say anything
They almost consider changing their minds and going with him just so Spencer wouldn't have a chance to infect Ryan with more of his hipster cooties
But even if they did, he'd probably wanna bring him anyway, so maybe it's for the best that they stay behind

-

Ryan might be a little disappointed that Neil and Kevin both turned him down, but that's alright! he still has one friend left to ask after all!

The only problem is that he seems to already be busy taking up the entire couch while listening to his music loud enough for the sound to bleed through his earbuds

Ryan knows he should probably leave him alone and just try asking later, but he's a bit impatient to get an answer, so he just tries staring at him until he opens his eyes instead. He's learned from experience that Spencer can tell when there's eyes on him, so it shouldn't take too long

And, just as he thought a moment ago, Spencer peeks his eyes open, quickly pausing his music
"What's the haps, eye of bro-ron?" He asks, taking out an earbud

"I was wondering if you'd go with me to this party we've been invited to" Ryan explains, handing him the invitation to read for himself

"Oh, hey, sick!" He replies, sitting up "for sure, no way I'm missing this"
He's totally stoked, even though written invitations are so, like, outdated, he's still hyped to go to this thing since he's definitely been to parties before and definitely knows that they rule

Ryan's face lights up when he says he'll go, he just knew he'd say yes!
"Alright then! I don't think it's that far from here, so we should be able to walk there and back" Of course, he plans on having a few drinks there, it's a special occasion after all

Spencer shoots a finger gun at him in response
"You got it, broski"

-

Ryan fusses a bit over his outfit for a while
He assumes this isn't meant to be very formal considering the many spelling errors on the invitation and the fact that it was at a residential address rather than some kind of commercial building
It's odd for him to worry about sticking out. Usually he'd barely give a single thought to how he's perceived nowadays, but it's always been a habit of his to try and adapt to his surroundings
The only problem is that he can't exactly adapt to what he's yet to know...

Nevermind, he'll just pick something inoffensive
A green button up might do... with a sweater overtop naturally, it's well into September
He selects a black one with grey pinstripes, he's been wearing that pattern quite a lot lately, hasn't he
He decides on just a pair of plain black slacks to go with it this time
Though, it's still a bit too dark of an outfit for his liking, so he pins a nice red brooch to the sweater. That brightens it nicely.

He straightens his collar before stepping out and meeting Spencer by the door

He's clearly gone for a different style, donning a bright pink graphic tee with some dark purple jeans, plus a matching wristband with some kind of acronym on it that Ryan can't quite decipher the meaning of. He's still wearing the same hat as always, though... Ryan wonders if it's some kind of signature item of his.

He takes a second to look up from his phone, snickering a little when he does
"Sick fit, dude" He comments "You kinda look like you're going to a goth prep school or something"

"Is it too much?"

"Nah, it's epic for real. You totally own it" Spencer reassures "Now lets bounce, I don't wanna miss anything fun" He concludes before sticking his phone back in his pocket

Ryan stops him for a moment
"Wait, shouldn't you put on a jacket? It's meant to get pretty cold out later"

"Psh, nah, bro! what are you, my mom?" He makes a 'get outta here' gesture with a cocky laugh "Besides, I don't get cold anyway, it's like, the most mainstream sensation"

"...I don't think that's how that works, Spencer"

"Well, whatever, that's just your opinion and stuff"

Ryan sighs, still worried, but he supposes he could always just lend Spencer his sweater if he were to change his mind about the cold being 'mainstream'
"Alright then. Lets go"

-

The sight in front of them could be right out of some cliche movie scene
It's a fairly nice-looking old house, the strobing rainbow colors shining out from the windows noticeably clashing with the antiquated look of the architecture
It seems Neil and Kevin were right to assume it'd be crowded

Ryan turns to Spencer for confirmation, and maybe some reassurance, considering he seems the type to like this kind of thing

But when he does, he thinks he catches some kind of hesitance in his expression before he notices and shifts back into his usual air of carefreeness
He clears his throat
"So, we doing this, or did we walk all the way here to LOOK at a party?"

Ryan smiles at that
It's kind of funny how he still feels the need to impress him
He's considered bringing it up somehow, but he has a feeling it may embarrass him, so he'll keep his mouth shut about it for now
"Let's try not to do anything stupid, alright?"

"No promises!"

-

As they walk in, the sounds of the overplayed radio hit blaring from a cheap speaker set immediately floods their senses, and it becomes increasingly apparent as they take in their surroundings that this party is not being thrown by the owner of the house, but most likely someone hellbent on trashing it
In fact, just as he walks through the door, Ryan immediately has to duck under a stray empty beer can as it soars overhead

"Yo, look, they have a pool table!" Spencer exclaims as he points up ahead
Then, with perfect comedic timing, someone takes a running start and breaks it in half
He blinks, feeling pretty awkward now
"...Nevermind"

Despite all these red flags, Ryan decides this will be fun
If nothing else, it's something new, so he'll try and enjoy what he can of tonight

Spencer, however, is definitely regretting coming along
He doesn't really drink much, but he's 100% getting as drunk as possible as fast as he can. Maybe it'll make this conformist music easier to listen to for the next... however long they end up staying here
Ugh, he needs a cigarette
"Hey, bro-man" He begins as he nudges Ryan's shoulder "I'm gonna go see if they have any of that off-brand beer that's actually more expensive than regular beer"

"Oh, okay then!" Ryan replies, watching Spencer run off into the crowd
He considers joining him at first, but he finds he'd actually like to stay sober. As much as he might like that, this place is quite disorienting enough
So, instead he tries finding some place to watch the rather chaotic scene in front of him without getting caught in it himself or hit with anything more dangerous than that empty can

-

After taking a look around for a frankly gratuitous amount of time, he eventually chooses to take a seat at the top of the carpeted staircase in the living room, the rails of which being prematurely decorated with rainbow christmas lights

Surprisingly, there are only a few people upstairs, mostly talking and laughing, some being couples heading up to different rooms for more unsavory reasons
He sits on the metaphorical (or maybe more literal) bridge between the calm and the loud, unwilling to separate himself from the crowd, yet too unsure to try interacting with anyone
It's actually a bit lonely when he thinks about it...
It's been a while since he's felt this way, he'd almost forgotten how much time he spent with no friends at all
And, it's a little ridiculous in the first place that it would resurface now of all times... ironic, even

He wonders if Spencer might be having a better time than him at the moment... he probably should've tagged along with him anyway, just to be around a friend
He still wishes Neil and Kevin would've come along too, but now that he's been here for a while, he can see why they declined, he really can't blame them

That's actually part of the reason why he's grown to like Spencer so much lately
They're similar in their own ways, and he tends to be interested in the things his other friends aren't
Sure, he's a little strange, but that's just another thing they have in common
He still can't understand why Neil and Kevin seem to despise him so much, when, compared to himself, Spencer was much more approachable when they first met
He just wants to impress them, can't they see that?

As if on cue, he notices his communicator watch light up, the accompanying ringtone just barely cutting through the cacophony of music and voices
Not wanting to risk entering one of the rooms behind him, he decides that where he's sat already is the next best place, so with the push of a button, he answers
"You called?"

"Hey, Ryan! great news, remember that email we sent the studio a few weeks ago?" Kevin's friendly voice addresses him from the staticky speaker, already causing Ryan to cheer up a bit

"Oh boy! the one about the trampoline?" He asks with renewed vigor, eager to hear some good news after the rather depressing train of thought that this has just broken him out of

"No, but good guess" Kevin replies, pausing like he's just realized something important "...Actually, wait, we didn't tell you about this one, did we..." He adds aside, taking on a slightly more careful tone of voice
"I guess it's not really good news for you then, uh, nevermind" (He really didn't think this conversation through, did he?)

Ryan, too, pauses. He doesn't know exactly what that might entail, but suddenly he's in the mood to pry
"...Oh" He replies, flat in both expression and inflection "Well what kind of news is it then...?"

"Well- y'know, on second thought, why don't we just tell you when you two get home"

"No, no, if it's important than why not now?"

There's a weird sort of tense exchange on the other side of the call, ending with Neil taking hold of Kevin's communicator watch
"Ryan, we aren't taking any more of Spencer and his condescension! we got the studio to reconsider his contract"

"Wh- reconsider?! you don't mean..."

"I mean that sucker has six months to pack up and find some other poor filmmakers to terrorize!" Neil answers like they've triumphed over some great evil, like a common goal is being achieved in this

"It's true" Kevin confirms, cringing a little "Sorry we had to get the studio involved, but it'll be better for all of us like this"

Ryan is speechless
Neil seems so excited at the prospect of Spencer being forced to leave that he briefly considers they might be pulling some kind of prank on him, but Kevin adding onto that with such earnest is what convinces him
His eyes widen involuntarily as he looks down at the grainy visual of two of his very best friends, one he's even broken the veil of death itself for, treating his new friend like nothing more than an inconvenience that's been promptly dealt with

Kevin's brow furrows under the grainy screen, unable to read Ryan's expression
"You still there, Ryan?"

He snaps out of his brief spiral
"Yes-! my um, my communicator watch must be having some technical difficulties, it sounded like you just said something completely ridiculous!" He replies with a nervous laugh "Listen, we'll be leaving soon, so we can talk after I get back, alright?" he feels one of his eyes twitch beneath his fake smile

"Oh, uh... sure! see you soon then-"

Ryan hangs up abruptly, leaning back against the stairs above as he buries his face in his hands
As it turns out, in a cruel twist of fate, he has in fact gotten hurt, and by the very two people who brought that concern up in the first place no less

He's gotten used to being written off as the one with unimportant or weird ideas, even being flat out ignored occasionally. Most of the time it's all in good fun, they've all been a little inconsiderate to one another in the past, that doesn't mean they don't still care about each other
But Ryan can't help but feel that this crosses some kind of line

Why go to such drastic measures as this?
And, more importantly, what is he going to tell Spencer?
He can't just go up to him and tell him what he's just found out, he has no idea how he might react, especially in this particular setting where he may even have to repeat it several times before he'd even understand

The very thought has him digging his hands up into his hair with visible frustration
No matter how this night ends, that dreadful conversation will have been part of it
Is this why they've been so busy lately? have they been planning this behind his back the whole time? he wouldn't exactly put it past them, considering they've hid things, and even lied to his face before
But if they really went to all that trouble to hide it before, why tell him now?
Were they just waiting until it was too late for him to do anything about it...?

But, surely... surely this is all just one big misunderstanding, and when he and Spencer get back to the clubhouse, they can sort it all out like the friends they are. Surely there's a way to reverse this. No problem is unsolvable after all

Even with how admittedly improbable (and rather naive) that notion seems, it's a nice enough thought to keep him from letting his emotions get too out of hand for the time being

With a sigh, he picks himself up off the stairs to go search for Spencer
Whether he wants to or not, he'll have to let him know one way or another

-

Ryan can't seem to find him for quite a while, which really starts to worry him. What if Neil and Kevin were right? what if he's been cornered somewhere by some nefarious gang of criminals?

He scans almost every room twice, maybe three times, before he decides to check outside the back door

Much to his relief, he finally finds Spencer, lying on the ground, but clearly unharmed and on his phone, probably posting a status update or something like that...
He doesn't actually seem to notice Ryan's presence until he's practically standing over him, in which he sets his phone down on the wooden floorboards of the back porch he'd apparently chosen to lie down on

"Oh heyyyy, dude! I was totally just wondering where you were... that's like, a coincidence or something" Spencer addresses him with a fingergun and a dazed smile, his glasses slightly askew

"I could say the same thing" Ryan replies, kneeling down to talk more on his level "If you don't mind me asking, why exactly are you... on the ground?"

"Oh yeah" He says, like he just remembered that's where he is "well, y'know how like... all those total conformists are all standing up and sitting down or whatever, and they're like... inside?" He laughs stupidly, gesturing vaguely to the house
"You should totally try this, it's way better"

Ryan thinks it over. Spencer's obviously not in his right mind at the moment; he almost forgot the whole reason they split up. (only now does he realize that's what happened, which only further cements his regret in not staying by his side)
From the looks of it, he's probably been drinking this whole time
Therefore, any information he might try to relay would most likely be forgotten by tomorrow
He's almost relieved at that notion. Any excuse to keep his spirits up for a little longer. (Ryan's not usually one to delay something like this, he much prefers to rip the bandaid off, yet... something about the thought of Spencer upset because of something his friends caused fills him with an inexplicable dread)

So, despite his claims of leaving soon, he decides Spencer is more important right now. This might be the last time he'll see him this happy for a long time after all
"You know, maybe I will," He pauses to untie his hair "...bro"

Spencer looks absolutely baffled at that, like he just witnessed something impossible as Ryan lies down next to him
"No way, you said the, the thing!" He responds, turning to face Ryan when he's on the same level "That's so awesome..." he adds with a certain starstruck tone in his voice

Ryan chuckles at his exaggerated reaction
If a little bittersweet, it gives him some catharsis to know he's enjoying himself right now

An oddly comfortable silence fills the air, or as close to silence as possible with the muffled party music still playing inside the house next to them
Ryan fidgets with his hair tie. He and Spencer are practically shoulder to shoulder. The closeness reminds him of a few weeks ago when he'd somehow fallen asleep in a situation not too far off from this one
With that in mind, he turns his head to make sure he hasn't done it again, half expecting him to be back on his phone if not
But he's just staring up at the ceiling of the overhang above them
Ryan can only imagine what kind of thoughts are running through his head with the state of mind he's in right now

Spencer's expression is uncharacteristically thoughtful
"Do you ever think, like, you're so gonna hate something, and it's gonna be such a drag, but then it actually rules? cause I was totally a hundred percent sure this would suck, but I figured it'd be cool to stay ironically, and now we're actually chilling..."

"Chilling, you say?"
Ryan doesn't think he'll ever quite get used to that strange vocabulary of Spencer's
it's so needlessly simplistic and repetitive, like he somehow feels the need to seem as casual as possible, no matter what he's actually trying to say.

"Yeah, like we're hanging out or whatever, it's fun and stuff" He explains unhelpfully
"The crazy thing is, you guys- like, not just you, but all you bros... you're like, super cool..." He confesses with surprising lucidity, raising his hands for emphasis "You don't care what any other bros might say, you just kinda do whatever you want, you're like, on a whole other plain of coolness, and I'm like..." he pauses, letting his hands fall back to his sides, hesitant "I'm kinda jealous, I guess"

Ryan's unsure how to respond to that, it catches him completely off guard
He thinks that's the most sincere thing he's ever heard him say, and frankly, he's a bit flattered by it too
And for once, he's glad for Spencer's selectively unobservant nature, because the sheer irony of what he's just said almost makes him tear up
If only Neil and Kevin could've heard that...

When Ryan doesn't say anything back, Spencer maybe starts panicking just a little bit
"But y'know, it like, doesn't even matter, I-I totally do whatever I want, too, so, yeah, whatever, just forget I said that" He stutters out, avoiding eye contact as he crosses his arms defensively, his embarrassment apparent in his already flushed face

"I think it matters" Ryan replies plainly
It matters very much. He'd started to wonder if being friends with Spencer would really be worth the disapproval of his other friends, but now he's certain he can turn things around with that information

Of course, he won't be able to tell them what he's just heard, but he's sure he can convince them to at least look deeper into the meaning behind the things they've been complaining about
He's trying to connect with them, he's trying to share the things he's interested in, and do the things they like to do, even when he clearly isn't genuinely interested

So why, in turn, do they hate him for it...? It just doesn't make sense
He wishes he knew what might convey all of these thoughts more clearly than a simple affirmation, but for now, that's all he has to say

It seems like Spencer got the message, though
"Oh... for reals?"

Ryan smiles at him yet again, decidedly focusing on the way Spencer's glasses reflect the fleeting joy in his face, instead of the melancholy they'll soon be faced with
"For reals" He confirms with another chuckle before sitting up to tie his hair back again
"I think it's about time we take our leave, though" As much as he'd like to stay, he'd rather not take the risk of being out much longer. They might call again if he takes too long, and he'd really like to hold off on speaking to them until it's in person

Spencer makes some kind of distraught noise
"Nah, man, nah. We gotta stay for like, six more minutes at least, come on" He grabs at Ryan's sweater sleeve in a lazy attempt at trying to pull him back down

Ryan blinks, looking back at him
"Why six?" He questions, raising an eyebrow
He's still fully intending on leaving, he's just confused at the oddly specific number

"Well, duhh... it's more than five?" Spencer explains like it should be obvious

Ryan shakes his head, shifting his focus back to the task at hand as he returns to his feet
"Can you stand?"

"Ughh, fine, if you'll quit being a buzzkill" He rolls his eyes, stuffing his phone back into his pocket with a huff before getting up

"Okay, that's good, now can you walk?"

"Yeah, sure, definitely maybe" He replies with misplaced confidence, already tripping over his own feet

Ryan immediately grips him by the shoulders before he can bump into him
"I'll have to take that as a no" He laughs, trying to keep Spencer steady

"My bad, bro"

"No, it's alright. I have an idea"

"Ohhh, an idea? what now, mr, uh... mr 'i know what to do'" Spencer mocks him playfully, poking his unphased face

He pays that rather mean-spirited remark no mind, still smiling at him with his usual slightly vacant stare
"I'll try not to drop you"

Before Spencer can figure out what that means, he's suddenly off the ground and in Ryan's arms
"...Woah..." He says, still dazed and trying to process the sudden movement

"Is this alright for you?" Ryan asks with a bit of a strain in his voice. He's regrettably been more used to using his strength to knock people down rather than lift them up like this

"Uh, yeah, totally, this works" Spencer agrees with an indifferent shrug "You sure you can like, do this for a while though...?"

"Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll be fine" He gives a reassuring smile, carefully descending down the wooden steps of the back porch "You know, you're a lot less limp than the other bodies I've carried before" He adds casually

"Uhh... thanks... I guess"

-

Once they're back out on the open sidewalk, it's much more apparent how cold it actually is outside
The loud party music gradually fades into the distance, replaced by crickets chirping and the occasional woosh of cars passing on the road beside them

Ryan thinks he feels goosebumps on Spencer's shoulder. He knew he should've insisted he bring a coat, or at least one of those fashionable scarves he's seen in Spencer's closet. Why have them if he refuses to wear them in the cold?

Spencer tries not to start shivering, he doesn't really care that much about what he said earlier right now, he just thinks it'd be weird
He's hella lucky that he's already being carried, so Ryan probably won't notice if he presses himself further against his sweater...
If anything, that'd probably be weirder than if he just reacted the stupid normal way to the cold, but whatever, he's still doing it
"Have you seen that one movie with the guy in the godzilla costume?"

Ryan laughs, yet again caught off guard
"No, I don't think I have" He gets out through giggles "Why don't you tell me about it?"

Once prompted, Spencer immediately begins rambling on about the movie
"Okay, so, like, there's this guy who's really loud, and he like- he's one of the main guy's friends- and he's supposed to... he has to be somewhere? by a specific time I think? I dunno, I forgot- anyway, he goes into the back of this truck, and there's all these totally wicked costumes, and-" He starts laughing thinking about it "-And he, he puts on the godzilla one, and you'll never guess what he does, you'll never guess, it's so stupid, it's like THE stupidest thing"

"What, he starts rampaging Japan?"

That was apparently hilarious, because Spencer can't even get out what he was about to say for a few seconds with how hard he's laughing
"He starts- he does- okay, he starts doing standup in front of this mirror in the truck, and- and then he realizes he's gonna be late or whatever, and then he can't get out of it, but he goes anyway, and now he's at this party, right? and he's like, in the bushes, and it turns out he was over a grill or something and he legit catches on fire, I'm not even joshing you right now" He flips his wrists and shakes his head in reverie
"And you were like, you were kind of right, there's this mock city or something? and there's this japanese dude, and the guy in the costume just starts screaming and running around trashing everything while the other guy watches him, and uh... I forgot the rest, but it was so funny, bro, it was so funny"

"It certainly sounds that way" Ryan agrees, mostly just entertained by how much fun Spencer seems to be having by explaining it to him

Once they both calm back down from whatever that was, Spencer's smile fades into something resembling guilt
"...Sorry for calling you a buzzkill earlier"
"You're awesome, man" He affirms, subconsciously fidgeting with the brooch pinned to Ryan's sweater "If any other bro says otherwise, that's like, their opinion, and it totally doesn't even matter because they probably suck anyway"

"Oh, well... thank you, Spencer" Ryan tries his best to accept the compliment, feeling his own guilt creep up on him "That's very nice of you"
He'll try not to worry about the mess that's surely waiting for him at the clubhouse. He'll most likely have to carry Spencer all the way to his room, which makes him wonder how his friends may react to that
They might use it as some kind of excuse to confirm their hatred of him further...

Well, with a newfound stubborn determination, he finds himself not caring about that. If they want to hate him, so be it. At the end of the day, and every day from now on for that matter, Spencer will still be his friend
And if... if that means they hate Ryan too...

He supposes he'd just have to accept that.

-

Being that his hands are obviously full, Ryan has Spencer open the clubhouse door for him

When he walks in, it's pitch black, save for a single lamp on a side table that Neil turns on, the orange glow illuminating him and Kevin's disappointed faces like two parents catching their child coming home after curfew

"Yo, did you rearrange the whole room just to do that?" Spencer asks, amused

"Where exactly have you two been for the past two hours?" Neil asks, crossing his arms with a huff

"Yeah, we were starting to get worried for a second there" Kevin adds with a much more sincere concern in his voice, even donning a careful smile to match
Perhaps he regrets what they've done

Ryan looks back and forth between them, resolute
"Something important came up after you called" He replies, striding off towards Spencer's room before anything else, not wanting to involve him in the inevitably awful conversation they're about to have "Excuse us for a moment, will you?" He adds, purposefully speaking more eloquently
Normally he shifts between more casual and formal speech as he pleases, just for fun
But right now, it's a clear indicator that he's upset with them. Rightfully so, with how they've been acting as of late

He doesn't even give them room to reply before entering the room down the hall, once again having to discreetly ask Spencer to open the door for him

-

Ryan sets Spencer down on his bed, his arms finally being given some relief from the persistent ache of carrying another person

"Man, what were they even talking about... weren't we gone for like... a lot longer than that?" Spencer comments, already half asleep

"Don't mind them, Spencer." He reassures, initially planning to say something else after it, but ultimately deciding to just leave it at that.
He carefully removes Spencer's glasses for a second time now, this time taking his hat with them so he's more comfortable, and sets them both on the side table

He stares blankly up at Ryan for several seconds as he does this, only reacting with a single tired blink before just accepting the gesture
"Whh... okay, I guess. Whatever..." He mutters, breaking eye contact

If he wasn't practically asleep already, Ryan would probably give him a hug
It's a little strange, he thinks, that he would want to do that after carrying him all the way here, but he supposes he just wants to drink up every second he has with him now that their time is limited
He dreads what awaits him in the next room, he's uncertain of tomorrow, he's even more unsure of the more distant future
Right now is the only good thing promised because it's right in front of him

It's funny, he'd almost be open to having a cigarette right about now if he didn't know any better

-

Ryan drags an old armchair to position in front of the couch, already feeling the tension in the air
"So, I assume this is some kind of intervention, isn't it?" He begins, taking a seat in said chair "Go on then"

Kevin takes a glance at Neil, at first expecting him to lead the conversation considering he's the one who came up with the whole idea to get the studio involved with this
Admittedly, he does think he got a little carried away with how he broke the news to Ryan. He definitely should've been more sensitive, maybe worded things a little differently...

Now, though, it seems like he's too mad about Ryan coming home late (and with Spencer no less), so, Kevin guesses he's gonna make him do the talking for now
"Listen, we know you like Spencer a lot, but a fourth member just doesn't work for us, alright?"

"'Us', you say" Ryan narrows his eyes at the two, unsure if Kevin means the three of them, or just him and Neil

"Well, yeah... in the long run, it's just not something we see working out-"

"Why not?" Ryan questions "You've gone to all this trouble to send him away, I think it's only fair you give a decent reason for doing so"

Kevin feels suddenly nervous under his gaze, feeling more like he's being interrogated than asked a simple question
He looks at Neil again, hoping for some kind of reassurance
But he's still just staring down at the floor in silent fury
He gathers his wits, this is important, he needs to stand his ground
"Well... we're worried that if you keep hanging around him like this, you might become just like him"

They've already been noticing it, Ryan slipping strange words into the few conversations they have alone together, being increasingly interested in the trivial things Spencer drones on about during breakfast lunch and dinner, Kevin's even personally caught him trying on those awful wristbands with the weird tag-lines on them recently

Ryan pauses, appalled at such a simple answer
Even if he is adopting some specific traits, he's still his own person, he can think for himself
But lately it seems his friends forget that, instead choosing to blame Spencer for every little thing he does that they don't approve of
"And why would that be so horrible?" He shoots back

Neil suddenly sits up
"Because he doesn't like himself, Ryan!" He retorts, angry almost to the point of tears
"Think about it, has he ever cared about anything he says? when has he not felt the need to justify everything he does? has he ever liked anything unironically?!"

Ryan thinks back to a few hours earlier, resolve unwavering
He won't allow himself to share exactly what was said since it was clearly told to him in confidence, but he knows for a fact that there's at least one thing Spencer sincerely likes
Not that they'd believe it either way...
"Well, maybe if you actually got to know him, you'd know the answer to that" He defends with a swift rise from his seat, turning to the front door. They've made it quite clear where their priorities lie, why should he be any different
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home, and I suggest you two do the same"

Kevin gets up to follow him, they just need to talk this out
"Ryan, wait-"

Unbeknownst to him, however, that ship has sailed
"We all have much to think about after today" Ryan states, giving Kevin and Neil one last cold glare as he exits the clubhouse without further warning

The sound of the door closing behind him rings in their ears like an omen

Kevin briefly wonders if he'll be back here tomorrow like he always is. He changes his mind pretty quickly sometimes, so it's not like this should be any different, right?
He stares at the door, the slow realization that this might be a lot more serious than he initially thought creeps up on him
Yeah, they both hate Spencer, but do they hate him more than they like Ryan? is that what he was thinking they meant by this?

No, that's ridiculous. Ryan knows they couldn't work without him

They figured that one out pretty quickly after he became a vigilante and didn't show up to the clubhouse, or even talk to either of them at all for almost a week
They even went to his house after the third day to make sure he wasn't just sick in bed
Funny enough, Neil had actually forgotten he pulled that crime fighting legacy prank on him until he saw Ryan show up in the newspaper wearing that dumb costume
He felt pretty dumb himself after that, but it was all water under the bridge. Ryan came back, and that was the end of it
Of course, Neil never really found the time to apologize for all that, but he's sure he forgave him

Now that he's thinking about it, he doesn't think he's ever seen him as mad as he was just a minute ago
He's walked out on them before, just not like this. Back then it was a simple misunderstanding about Kevin having a girlfriend, but now he's upset about something that actually matters, and that's actually a little scary
Not like ghoul scary, but that kind of scary where he knows something is about to change, and not in a good way

Kevin sits back down next to Neil, trying to figure out their next course of action
Ryan was right, they really do have a lot to think about
"So... is there any way we could-"

"Yeah, no" Neil answers before Kevin can finish
He knows exactly what he was about to ask, and there's nothing they can do now, not after what they told the studio
And, well... why would they wanna do that anyway? they shouldn't throw away their chance to get rid of Spencer just because Ryan's a little upset about it

Every conversation with that guy just makes Neil wish he'd get struck by lightning on the spot... can you really blame him?

Chapter Text

Much to their relief, the very next morning, Neil and Kevin hear the unmistakable sound of Ryan humming to himself as they enter the clubhouse

He's even cooking them breakfast, just like every other day, except... he doesn't speak a single word to them when he hears them walk in. He just sets two plates of food down on the table in front of them before fixing his own, barely even acknowledging their existence beyond that simple gesture
Even the eggs and bacon (or, ovum and pig ribbons as Ryan usually calls them) seem to stare back at them with cold indifference
It looks like he didn't even bother putting any salt or pepper on the latter, which causes them to notice the two shakers have been set in the center of the table like some kind of diner
If he's trying to be passive aggressive, he's sure going about it in a weird way

"So, who's taking out the trash tonight?" Kevin asks as he sticks a fork into the bland eggs, mostly just trying to make conversation
"...Not it" He quietly adds after no one answers

"Not it!" Neil responds, quickly sitting up straight to react in time

Ryan looks like he's about to say something, but realizes what they're trying to do before he does, instead just glaring at them in annoyance

Kevin gives a nervous laugh
"Just trying to lighten the mood" He clarifies, unsure if Ryan could tell he was joking "I'll do it"

Of course, they continue trying to make awkward conversation afterward, but he doesn't even sit down with them, instead carrying his own plate straight into Spencer's room down the hall

Kevin has to wonder what that's all about... that third plate probably wasn't even for Ryan, was it? he just hopes he doesn't plan on giving Spencer his lunch and dinner too.
He honestly regrets going along with this whole elaborate scheme in the first place, it just doesn't seem worth it now that Ryan will barely even look at him and Neil
No matter how much he might dislike Spencer, he's more unsure now than ever that this was really the best course of action
This was meant to bring him back to them, not to drive all three of them apart...

Neil, on the other hand, refuses to let this sway him. Ryan's just being weird like he always is. He's sure he'll get over it soon
Besides, there's nothing he, or anyone else can do now. Not unless the studio miraculously changes their mind, or he and Kevin somehow convince them to go back on the whole contract reconsideration thing
Funny thing is, Spencer probably doesn't even know his reign of ironic tyranny is most likely on a time limit now. He honestly can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds out
He is kind of dreading how Ryan might get affected by it, though

...He might feel a little bad about him taking this so hard... but he knows it'll be worth it in the long run
Cause if it isn't, then things might not ever go back to normal
That's really all he wants, for things to be how they were last month before Spencer showed up and ruined everything
Can't he just leave them all alone? they were perfectly happy without his unwarranted over explanations and horrible fashion sense

Kevin notices the distant look in Neil's eyes as he plays with his food
"Hey, Neil, what do you say we go for a walk later this afternoon?" He offers, hoping to finally talk this awkward situation out with somebody, or maybe just to spend some time with at least one of his friends after the disaster that was yesterday

Neil obliges with a nod and a sigh
"Yeah, that sounds good"

-

It's a little chilly, but otherwise, it's really nice outside
Neil watches the orange gold and brown blur of leaves falling to the sidewalk around them and thinks back to around this same time last year
It'll be coming up on the anniversary of that night soon... He suppresses a shiver, Kevin's screams still make a special guest appearance in his nightmares sometimes

He still can't believe he and Ryan managed to convince him that the studio never sent a letter that week either
He's actually still not sure if he really bought it or not, considering he's tried to ask about what happened that night a couple times since then, but they always just laugh it off and quickly change the subject

Of course, bringing him back in the first place was Ryan's idea. If it weren't for him, Kevin wouldn't be walking next to him right now
But, it was also his idea to hide the whole necromancy thing from him too, which, at the time, seemed kind of stupid, but now more than ever, he realizes why that was the best thing to do
After all, who knows what kind of existential dread Kevin would have to grapple with if he knew what really happened to him that night?
He wonders who or what else could still be out there
If Kevin can come back, then who's to say...

"You alright, Neil?" Kevin asks, carefully nudging him in the shoulder "I don't think I've seen you this off since we watched The Truman Show for inspiration on that psychological thriller webisode"

"Yeah, I'm just worried I guess"

"You and me both" He replies, sticking his hands in his pockets

As if on queue, they start to pass by a diner
It is a little past lunchtime, and they did skip it since they've been too caught up with Ryan to really make anything for themselves yet

"Hey, here's an idea" Kevin begins, slowing to a stop "Why don't we talk about this over lunch?" he offers

Neil isn't sure about it at first
He used to love going to places like this, mostly because it meant he wouldn't have to cook, but that was before he met Ryan
But he guesses it couldn't hurt to try this place out

-

Kevin props his elbows up on the slightly sticky surface of the booth table
He's been meaning to talk to Neil about all this Ryan and Spencer business since he's clearly not taking it very well

The waitress brought their food over almost ten minutes ago, and he's barely touched it, just like before
Heck, he even ordered the same thing Ryan made them this morning! It's like he's become suddenly resistant to change

"I think your eggs are getting cold there"

"That's fine, I like them that way" Neil replies absentmindedly

"...Do you?"

He sighs "No, not really" he admits "I'm just not hungry I guess"
He sets his fork down and leans back against the leather booth seat, watching the cars go by outside the window above their table
"Kevin, do you think we made a mistake?"

He barely even has to think about that to agree with him, it's been taking up most of his thoughts lately anyway
"...Yeah. Yeah, we probably did"

"We never should've told Ryan our plan"

Oh, guess they have different views on this after all, huh?
"If I'm gonna be honest, I don't think we should've gone through with that plan in the first place, Neil"

"Why? did you get a better idea?"

"No, I mean..." Kevin pauses "I just don't think this is really worth it"

"Well, we had to do Something about that tyrannical trend-hopper"

"Yeah, but now Ryan won't even speak to us"

"Kevin, if we let him keep singing his siren song it'd only be a matter of time before that happened anyway!" Neil states leaning over the table slightly
"Ryan was already choosing Spencer over us, it's not like we had much of a choice"

"But aren't we choosing ourselves over Ryan?" Kevin voices, causing Neil to go silent
"Maybe Spencer isn't the problem here"
He runs the risk of sounding hypocritical with that statement, but he really has started to notice the shift in their behavior towards him, especially Neil's

Neil can't believe what he's hearing
"No, you said it yourself, if there was anything worth seeing, we'd have seen it already" And it's still true, even more now than ever

"I know I did, and I still think that," Kevin clarifies with a placating gesture "but are we really gonna put all the blame on him when we've kinda been pushing Ryan away?"
Ryan really wanted them to go with him to that party yesterday, he could tell he was really excited about it, but they still turned him down
Only now does Kevin realize how stupid it was of them to call it 'dangerous' and then let him and Spencer go off on their own

"No we haven't, we've just been busy" (busy planning for his downfall of course) "Once Spencer's gone, we'll be able to spend as much time with him as we want!"
He'd have to hang out with them after all, it's not like he could fair well on his own, none of them could, at least that's what he wants to believe
He doesn't think he could

Kevin wishes he could believe that, but with the way things are between them right now, he doesn't think he can
"Neil... that's not how it works"

Neil slams his hands into the table, the cold ceramic plates and metal silverware rattling against each other in response
"Well, why shouldn't it?! it's not fair for Spencer to just show up and uproot everything we've built together!"

The following silence is deafening, it's as if he's suddenly been made aware of every pair of eyes in the building, and they're all staring at him now, thanks to his dumb outburst

Embarrassed, he pushes his plate aside, setting his head down onto the table and crossing his arms to cover his face in despair, barely paying attention to Kevin's reaction

"...I don't think we've been that fair either" Kevin replies after some thought, reaching up to steady a picture frame that had started swinging on the wall next to him
"I want things to go back to normal as much as the next guy," he explains as he places a careful hand on Neil's forearm, the sleeve of his blue flannel meeting the light orange of Neil's t-shirt "but I want Ryan to be happy too"
"And, well... if we keep this up, I don't see either of those things happening anytime soon"

Neil can't grasp how Ryan could ever really be happy hanging around someone like Spencer forever, he was perfectly happy Before he met him, they all were
But that smug, cynical cesspit just had to show up and ruin everything...
He never used to think like this, he doesn't think he's ever been this mad about anything before
Maybe that goes to show just how insufferable a person Spencer is...

Kevin can't help but feel bad for both of his friends here
He's played enough sports to know how to be a team player, but he doesn't think Neil's ever had to work through such a big disagreement in his life, and if he had to guess, neither has Ryan
All three of them are at their best when they're working together
Whether it be webisode related, or just working towards a common goal, like when they were coming up with a plan to get Max to leave them alone
But, now that he thinks about it, Ryan obviously wasn't too keen on going along with that plan

...Or the one before that
And as much as he tells himself not to give up hope, that they can still fix this, if Neil really won't budge, and Ryan won't start talking again...

Then they're all in pretty big trouble, aren't they?

"Neil, what do you say we try another way to resolve all this?" He offers as Neil peeks his head up slightly to look at him through his bangs
"We probably aren't getting anywhere with the approach we've been going for. I think if we just-"

"I think you're right" Neil replies as he sits up without giving him time to finish, like he just got an idea that wildly misinterpreted what he was trying to say
"Yeah... another way" He repeats to himself, nodding

"You didn't just have an entirely different takeaway from that, did you?" Kevin asks skeptically, raising an eyebrow

"Whaaaat? no..."

_

Still tired from walking back from the diner, but not exactly wanting to stay in the clubhouse or go home yet, Neil steps out the back door to think more on this whole situation
It's a little later now, Kevin decided to try and spend some time with Ryan earlier after they got back, but quickly got waved off, so he's probably doing the same thing as Neil, just somewhere else

They've both been trying to get Ryan to talk all day, yielding no results
Unless you'd count tricking him into it
They did get him a few times by singing the first bit of 'shave and a haircut', not that he was happy about it
That does give him a bit of hope, though. He's still the same old Ryan, he's just upset with them right now is all
He just has to keep telling himself that he'll get over it soon, he always does, and he'll have to for this to end well

He looks up at the scenery in front of him, leaning back against the shut door
The sun casts a yellow glow over the swaying trees and faded orange leaves yet to be raked up
The distant chirping of birds gives him a feeling at least resembling comfort
He's about to take all of this in, when Spencer's grating voice beside him suddenly interrupts his thoughts

"Oh, hey Neil-bro. Guess we had the same idea to come out here" Spencer greets him with a smile "Sorry I've been like, a total no-show today. I got totally wasted last night, so I'm just chillaxing now, get me?" Despite his apparent hangover, he holds a cigarette in his right hand. It doesn't take long to notice it's unlit though

The truth is, Spencer's been debating whether or not to light it for pretty much the whole time he's been out here
He hasn't had one all day, which is kinda messing with him, but he totally doesn't even need these things, so why should he care?
It's not that serious, cause like, why should he even want things anyway when he can just think about having them or whatever

Neil narrows his eyes at him on reflex, but nods along
So, he's smiling at him. This has to mean nobody's told him yet
As much as it pains Neil to willingly converse with Spencer, he might have a few things to say before his inevitable crash and burn
"So, how was that party?" It must have really been something considering how close he and Ryan suddenly were afterwards

Spencer is pretty surprised he's actually being asked a question
Normally Neil just looks at him weird and says as little as possible when he's around, so this is a pretty rad change of pace
"Dude, I'm not even gonna lie, I have like, no idea" He laughs, somehow sounding happy about the fact "I bet it ruled, though"
Despite his aching head being a little annoying, he's actually in a fairly good mood after last night, which he can't really remember the source of either...
He doesn't feel like questioning it, though. Gift horse or whatever

Neil scoffs, crossing his arms
"Great, so you went to the trouble of making Ryan carry you all the way here and you don't even remember it" He whispers mostly to himself in an accusatory tone

"...What?" Spencer caught maybe half of that

"Oh, nothing" Neil replies "It's just...interesting"

"Uh, heh, I think you misheard me there, bro. I meant 'what' like, I didn't hear what you said the first time, which is actually kinda ironic since you didn't get what I was-"

"You know you're not actually cool, right?"
Neil used to hate confrontation, he never used to be this angry, but ever since Spencer showed up, he's been fighting the urge to figure out just what it would take to break that dumb nonchalant facade like he's been breaking their friendship in half
He's well past his limit now, he thinks it's time he fought the source instead of the feeling

Spencer, caught off guard, just stares at him for a second, trying to process that comment
"Uhh... I mean... I'm kind of not trying to do that anyway, so uh, that's like... whatever?" He shrugs, not really registering that as an insult, but still sensing some kind of weird intensity behind it
"No offense, dude, but where did that come from?"

"Could you just quit playing dumb already?" Neil asks, more than tired of hearing him pretend to be his friend
He's convinced he knows what Spencer really is, or at least that he's onto figuring it out

Maybe he's some kind of test, maybe the studio sent him here to see just how much their friendship can bend before it breaks. He wouldn't put it past them, maybe they're secretly getting their revenge for those stray fireworks and missed deadlines
They haven't been prompting them lately after all, maybe this isn't a break or vacation, maybe it's the prerequisite for laying them off, or something worse
The message that instigated all of this being taped to a brick crashing through their window seems all the more fitting now

Well, whatever the studio, or Spencer, or anyone else might be planning, he won't let anything come between him, Ryan, and Kevin
"I know what you're up to" He states, glaring up at him with hateful conviction

"...Ohhhh, I get it, this is some kinda prank, right?" Spencer assumes despite having probably the thinnest grasp on what Neil is trying to convey in the first place, the faint migraine he has going on isn't really helping either "Those are like, really overdone, bro. You should totally try social experiments instead, they're so the new pranks"

Neil facepalms, unable to take any more of his arrogance and condescending remarks that don't even make any sense half the time
Not to mention how hypocritical he's being, considering the Punk'd shirt he's wearing
Can he take anything seriously? is he even capable of it? or is that just what he wants everyone to think?

That's it, someone has to tell him about his contract sooner or later, so he might as well go ahead and get it over with so he can stop seeing that stupid 'I know more than you' smirk on his face
"Okay, you know what? why should I care, you're getting fired in six months anyway"

Spencer's unconcerned demeanor washes away like street art in the rain
He looks genuinely scared for a second before breaking out into forced laughter
"Okay, now I know you're joshing me!"

Neil doesn't respond, still staring Spencer down like he's everything wrong with the world
Technically, he doesn't know if the studio will actually get him out of here or not, but if he lets himself think otherwise, he might really start losing hope
Maybe, even if what he just said turns out to be a lie, he can still make Spencer want to leave on his own if he stays adamant

Spencer gradually stops attempting to laugh at the nonexistent joke he was so sure was being played on him a second ago
"You are, uh... you are just yanking my chain, right? you're pulling my leg?" He asks, his smile taking on a more nervous appearance than he'd usually allow it to
He feels really lame for having to ask for confirmation, but in his defense, Neil has a pretty convincing poker face (Or at least, that's what it looks like to him)

Neil has to admit, he's a little surprised at how easy it was to get him to crack after all this time. Maybe that was a bit of a dirty move on his part, but it's not like Spencer would pull any punches for him if the roles were reversed
It is kinda satisfying seeing that arrogant facade crumble, though. Not as untouchable as he thought himself to be, huh?
"What do you think?"

"...Oh...that's uh..." He begins, trying to figure out a way to salvage this interaction somehow
"Okay, this is like-... this is really awkward now? so I'm gonna bounce" He points to the door, quickly giving up without much of an attempt in the first place, he just wants to get away from whatever this is

"Hey, before you go," Neil puts a foot out to stop the door from opening as Spencer turns the handle "stay away from Ryan, okay?"

-

Ryan's sitting on the couch, a bit bored. Without Neil or Kevin to talk to, and Spencer being largely unavailable today due to his hangover, he hasn't had much to do
He knows the choice to outright stop talking to his friends was a bit drastic, and maybe a little childish, but in his defense, so was what they did
He'll talk to them again when they stop hating Spencer for no good reason

Coincidentally, Spencer walks back inside just as Ryan starts thinking about him, prompting a smile as he sits up to greet him
"Hi, Spencer! has that headache of yours finally gone away?"

"Huh-? oh, right. Yeah, it's chill now" He replies with a troubled look, glancing at the door behind him a few times, lacking the usual carefreeness that Ryan is used to seeing from him

"Are you sure? you seem... in shock" Ryan observes "you haven't been stabbed recently, have you?" he asks, sort of half joking. He has seen those guys with the bricks around a few too many times lately, and though knives aren't exactly their weapons of choice, he wouldn't blame them if they decided to spice things up once in a while

Yeah, definitely not stabbed. (In the back, maybe)
"Nah, don't worry about it, bro" He assures, still sounding somewhat distant
"I'm gonna go do..." He sighs defeatedly "something, I guess"

"Oh, could I join you?" Ryan asks, completely disregarding how vague Spencer is being in favor of finding a cure for his boredom "I love doing... things!"

"Actually, I think I wanna be alone for a while. You get it, right, broski?"

"Oh... alright then. Let me know if you change your mind!"

-

And just like that, Spencer seems to avoid him for the entire rest of the day

This even extends into the next, which confirms rather ominously that this hasn't just been caused by plain irritability from Spencer's hangover

To say Ryan is worried is an understatement
He supposes he's being given a taste of his own medicine, but at least he gave Neil and Kevin the courtesy of knowing what they did wrong first!

Initially, Ryan would catch him giving apologetic glances each time he'd turn away from him, tortured, like there was something he wasn't saying, but subtly, overnight it seems, they've almost become resentful, like his expression speaks for itself

And one evening, as Ryan lies in one of the spare beds his friends had put into the clubhouse a few years back, he can't help but wonder

Does he know...?

If he does, Ryan is sure he's figured out that he knew before him
Maybe that's the reasoning behind all of those glares he shoots his way

He raises the crochet doll he made in Spencer's likeness above himself
"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" He asks the crude yarn effigy
Its head falls to one side as if shrugging in response, its grey button eyes displaying an equal amount of indifference
"You're being so difficult!" He tells it, sprawling his arms out in exasperation

Both of his other friends have stopped trying to make conversation, tense silence falling over every moment they spend together
Ryan doesn't want this. He didn't want any of this
Would it be overdramatic to fear that this might last forever? will they drift away from him because of this petty fight?
Would they even subject him to the same fate that they're damning Spencer to...?

Subconsciously, he finds himself holding that doll much closer now

He treats the crafted effigies of his friends as if they were really them most of the time, only occasionally sticking a few pins in them when he gets a little frustrated or angry with their real counterparts, but they never seem to notice much

With that in mind, he feels a bit strange for holding one of them like this
Especially when the real Spencer isn't happy with him at the moment for whatever reason
If only this was really him...
Well, that's probably an even stranger thought

Though he knows that he likes to stay up much later than this, Ryan feels like he should attempt to tell Spencer goodnight
It might be the only real interaction he'll have with him, or anyone at all today

-

Ryan finds Spencer in the dark of his room, faced away, packing some kind of suitcase he'd set on the bed
His shadow on the far wall contrasts with the square of light cast from the hall (Was it always so blank? he could've sworn there were posters there before)
Despite this, Spencer doesn't seem to notice him, or maybe he's still trying to ignore him? either way, he knocks just in case
He already has a bad feeling about this

Spencer is stuffing all his things back into the suitcase he came here with, cursing whatever lame string of fate lead him here, when a knock on the door catches his attention
He doesn't even have to turn around to know who it is. Only one person of the three he knows around here would knock on an open door
Plus, why would either of those other two posers come try to talk to him right now anyway? they're the reason he's in this mess in the first place

"Spencer?" Ryan's voice calls to him from the doorway, hesitant "Why are you...?"

Spencer tenses just hearing his tone, how can the simplest, borderline incomplete sentence stir such an ache in him?
He's not supposed to get that way over anything except the occasional fake-deep poetry he reads online when he feels like making himself miserable

Why does he have to sound so betrayed? dramatic much...
"Piss off, dude" He replies, meaning to sound intimidating, or at least annoyed, but mostly just coming off as pathetic
He doesn't even turn to look at him, he's honestly not sure if he wants to see his face right now. Not cause he wouldn't be able to handle it or whatever, though... that'd just be cliche
He just needs him to go away, leave him alone so he doesn't start second-guessing himself

"Hey, I-I know you're upset, but, you don't have to leave"
Ryan takes a step closer, tilting his head to the side to try and gage Spencer's expression
Surely he's just making a show of packing his things away so someone might come try to convince him otherwise
He left the door open after all. He never leaves his door open
An open door is like a silent invitation for whoever walks by to check in. Leaving the lights off with an open door is practically a cry for help when it comes to Spencer (either that, or it's a sign that he's already stopped considering it his room, which would be troubling for a number of reasons)

"Oh, really? cause, y'know, that's not what I heard" Spencer retorts, talking to Ryan's shadow on the wall in front of him as he shuts the suitcase lid "I gotta say, your friends are actually kinda lame sometimes" key word: Your. He's finally figured out now that they were never his friends to begin with, just Ryan's
"I get it though, like, you do you. It's not like I'm gonna be hanging around to judge you anyway"

"So, you do know..." Ryan pauses, he should've just told him when he had the chance, this must be his fault
"I'm sorry"
He wishes he knew what else to say. He's got about a million things he's feeling, but none of them seem to come together in any meaningful way

"Yeah, I thought it was kind of a dick move to not tell me, no offense"
An understatement. When he figured out that Ryan must've known as long as Neil, what he could remember of yesterday suddenly seemed so hollow, like none of it actually meant anything
Not that it did anyway, it shouldn't have. He knew that from the start, but Ryan really spelled it out for him there

Ryan panics a little, that confirmed just a few too many of his fears
"I swear I wanted to! it's just- I found out the night we were at that party, and- and I wasn't sure you'd remember, or how you'd take it, or-..." Though he can't actually see Spencer's face, he thinks using his imagination might just be worse than if he were really looking at him
"Or if we'd still be friends..."

Spencer shifts his gaze to the floor, sick of looking at his silhouette on the newly blank wall, devoid of posters, devoid of life
So he was right
He figured he didn't tell him then, but he couldn't actually tell if Ryan was just pretending afterwards because he realized he didn't remember, or if he was omitting it from the start, but that tells him all he needs to hear

He likes Ryan, he really does, but some things just aren't worth it
He doesn't wanna do this, but just thinking about doing it doesn't feel much better
"You're doing it wrong, bro" He says with as much flippancy as he can muster

"What?"

He looks up at the ceiling, adjusting his hat
"You're all hung up on this like you thought I was gonna stick around in the first place" He explains with a smile, even though there's no way Ryan could see it from where he's standing, feigning carelessness "Stuff is like, temporary by nature, and I was like... I was totally gonna do this anyway, so it's- it's whatever" he cringes, hearing his own voice crack at the end of that sentence, praying Ryan didn't notice

And Ryan almost believes him until he hears that falter
That does it, he's not letting Spencer try and convince him any longer
He needs him to know without a doubt that he's on his side

To Spencer's dismay, from his peripheral vision, he watches Ryan's shadow shift, and before he can make any more petty remarks to keep him away, he feels a hand rest carefully on his shoulder

"If this is what you really want, I suppose It would take much more than me to stop you," Ryan begins "but for what it's worth..."
He ducks his hands under Spencer's arms, positioning them across his chest in a pleading embrace of sorts
"I've never had a friend like you, Spencer" He says into his shoulder, fighting back tears
"And... I want you to stay"

Spencer freezes, his eyes welling up against his will
Some part of him wants to lean into this, but the rest of him knows better
He shouldn't feel comforted by this (which he totally doesn't), this should feel weird. Sincere declarations of friendship are so lame, especially since he like, definitely doesn't feel the same, and that definitely didn't just have him rethink this whole thing
Things were a lot easier when he was on his own, nobody holding him down, cramping his style... carrying him home after parties...

He actually remembers a few things from that night now that he's not dealing with a wicked headache anymore, this just had to jog his memory of all things
He was already pretty embarrassed when he remembered how that night ended, he can admit that. He figured he'd just avoid parties like that from now on (house parties are kinda conformist anyway, he shouldn't have even gone in the first place)
The point is, he figured if he avoided all that, maybe he could avoid the weird feeling he gets thinking back to it
'Attachment is the root of all suffering' or whatever that one philosophy guy said

...Still, he starts to reach up to feel Ryan's hands against the fabric of his shirt
Maybe if he like, wanted to, he could come with him...
But just before he can, he feels his glasses slipping from his face, probably loose from those dumb tears he's been trying to ignore

So, he pushes them back up instead

Whatever, that was a dumb idea... Ryan's whole life is here, with them
And whatever Ryan thinks he wants right now, Spencer knows he would change his mind eventually, especially with his friends breathing down his neck all the time
He's never been much of a touchy feely guy anyway, it's just not how he rolls
He can't just leave now, though. He doesn't have the simplicity of just walking out without telling anyone anymore
And, for whatever reason, he doesn't wanna see Ryan upset either

Maybe he could stay just for tonight
I mean, he has six months anyway, but there's no way he's staying here that long
The vibes just aren't right anymore, y'know?

But he thinks he can deal for just a few more hours
"Okay, ne-bro-tiator" He sighs, worming out of Ryan's grasp to turn and face him "you win"

Ryan's eyes light up with renewed hope as he takes a step back
"Really? you'll stay?"

"Yeah, but just for-" Before he can finish that sentence, Ryan is already hugging him again

"Oh, you have no idea how glad I am to hear that!" he beams, keeping a tight grip on Spencer's arms even as he pulls away
"I promise, from now on I won't keep anything from you, and I'm sure with time, Neil and Kevin will come around too! Y-you might not even have to leave in the first place!"

Spencer is about to explain what he actually meant, but when he sees the look in those striking blue eyes, and his lame reflection in them, he figures it couldn't hurt to play along for now
It's not like... it's not like he's ever gonna see this guy again after tonight anyway, so what's it matter to him?
He might as well make the most of it
"Heh, uh, yeah, maybe" He replies noncommittally, maybe sweating a little
"Yo, what if we like, had another sleepover to celebrate or whatever" Spencer offers, already formulating a plan

"Of course! that's a great idea!" Ryan agrees without much thought
He might be coming on a bit too strong at the moment, but he hasn't had much of a reason to smile at all for a few days now, can you blame him for being a bit giddy at any sort of good news?

Spencer takes the suitcase off his bed, setting it on the floor by the side table next to it
If Ryan asks, he'll say it'd just be too tedious to unpack again tonight or something
"You can totally take the bed this time, too"

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Sure, I'm sure. Subversion of expectations, bro" He adds "Plus, you made this hardwood floor look pretty comfortable last time"
He wonders if he's actually being convincing Normally he's a pro at staying casual, but for some reason tonight is really testing his chill attitude. All the more reason to get the dip out of here as fast as he can and not look back

"Hm... okay then"
Somehow, sleeping in someone else's bed feels like a bit of an invasion of privacy to Ryan, but he's learned from experience that he draws a strange, probably squiggly, line with things of that sort

It almost feels too good to be true how quickly Spencer changed his mind, but he'll choose to see that as a confirmation of what he thought earlier
He just needed to know someone would care if he left, and now that he does, he'll stay
That's what Ryan has to tell himself that night to get any sleep

-

Spencer stares up at the ceiling, or the general direction of it anyway
They both said goodnight a little over an hour ago, but he has to make sure Ryan is one hundred percent, for sure asleep before he leaves

Which, he thinks he is. He isn't really moving around a lot
So why doesn't he just get up, grab his stuff, and go already?
There's nothing to stall for, nothing keeping him here anymore except his own stupid conscience

So, he pulls himself up, pulls himself together, and takes his suitcase

"Spencer?"

He almost jumps like a startled cat, Ryan's voice ringing in his ears through the quiet room
"Just- gonna go smoke for a second, 'kay?" It isn't technically a lie, he's def gonna need one of those after this
He's never been more thankful to be in the pitch black, if Ryan turned even a single light on, that excuse would be made completely useless by the suitcase he's now gripping the handle of like it's the last rung of a fifty foot ladder

"Oh, okay" Ryan sounds relieved, like he was thinking of the exact thing Spencer is currently doing
But apparently, he trusts him enough to just lie back down when he's reassured
"Don't be long, alright?"

"...Sure, yeah" He replies under his breath
He's used to half-truths and ironic, hypocritical statements, blatant lying is just boring... boring to the point of tears

He looks back in Ryan's direction before walking out into the hall
From the thin gap where the closed curtains don't quite meet the windowsill, he can just barely make out his brown hair, still tied back, peeking out from under the blanket

He bids a silent farewell, or whatever you'd call it
He kinda wishes he could say something, maybe thank him, or at least let him know this isn't his fault
He feels like kind of a douchebag for doing this, but if he said something now, he'd just look suspicious
He'd rather just do an Irish exit, which is, well, pretty ironic, considering he's not the Irish one here

-

The cold night air practically punches Spencer in the face as he steps outside
He looks up at the moths gathering around the porchlight looming just above him, burning a few yellow eye floaters into his vision in the process
For whatever reason, he takes out his phone and snaps a picture
Maybe he can post it somewhere with some sick deep poem in cursive over it or something. He's sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere

As he walks to his car, he figures he'll check up on those texts he sent his other, way trendier friends while he has his phone out
He leans against the driver side door of his car, and with the press of a few buttons, opens the group chat that he, Pam, and Cynthia started earlier last month
Nothing new there, so he checks the separate chatrooms for both of them
Still left on read...

He'd totally get Pam ghosting him, she's kind of flakey, and he only knows her 'cause Cynthia introduced her to him
But both of them kinda just digitally ditched him a few weeks after he got here
Which is weird, since it was like all they wanted to talk about since he met them on Facebook was how he was totally gonna be part of their favorite underground web series

Guess that was a bust...
Whatever. All they did was keep asking him when the next webisode was coming out and what Neil's phone number was anyway (he still doesn't really get why they wanted that last part)

He's more than ready to see this place disappear in his rearview mirror, or at least that's what he's telling himself as he puts his phone away and finally gets into the car

From scratch it is
It's not like he needed anyone else anyway
Not Cynthia, not Pam, Neil, Kevin, or Ryan
It doesn't matter who any of them were to him now, not that he cares
Besides, if he really wanted to start having friends again, he could def just find some other brown haired, blue eyed guy who'd stay up late with him and go for drives and...

...Be chill when he accidentally falls asleep on his shoulder, take him to parties, carry him home when he gets too drunk, make him breakfast the next morning...

He pauses, staring at the key he just stuck into the ignition
It's not like he's uh... second guessing himself or anything, he knows exactly what he wants

...he feels his glasses slipping

That's fine, they're cheap, they do that sometimes, that's the whole point, they're knockoffs, they're cooler, they're better than the other pairs, what's he gonna do, stop wearing them? that's stupid, that'd throw off his whole thing he has going on, he'd just look weird, like every other cookie cutter, conformist, normie piece of-...

He can't help but laugh at himself for a second
What is he doing?
He leans back in the car seat, pinching the bridge of his nose as he realizes how ridiculous he's being
He slams his fist into the top of the steering wheel, feeling the tension fade out like a bad song
Why does he care? that's what he just caught himself doing, isn't it?
No friends, no rules, no expectations. He's gonna dig this
He's gonna have to...

He turns the key and reaches for one of his CDs to drown out whatever this is

Except, oh yeah, he hadn't actually gotten the chance to pack those
He was leaving them for last so they'd be on top of everything else
Whatever, Ryan can have them
He didn't actually listen to half of those bands anyway

Instead, he turns on the radio
Maybe he can find some niche underground station with like, no other listeners

He catches the end of some trashy pop song he's heard a million times, and hears the beginning of yet another one after it
He's about to switch stations when the song name catches his eye and he almost starts to laugh again
Ridin' Solo? you and him both, mainstream corporate music artist...

As he switches gears and backs out of the driveway, gravel crunching under his tires, headlights piercing through the dark of the night, his one regret is coming here in the first place

Sorry, bro
It's been real

-

As Ryan stares down at the empty wooden floor, he can't help but wonder why he's not surprised
He'd try to reassure himself, tell his mind not to jump to conclusions
But it's become increasingly apparent by not only the absence of Spencer, but the absence of the suitcase he'd set down by the bedside table last night

He knew the second he heard one of the floorboards creak just a bit too loud
He should've pried further, maybe offered to join him outside
Anything that could've prevented him from doing what he knew he would
He just wishes he hadn't lied to him
Out of everything, that might sting the most

It's an odd feeling, lying in a bed meant for someone else, unable to see a reason to get up
The sun shines through the gap in the curtains, casting pale beams of light over everything he can see
Instead of relishing in this almost picturesque moment, he finds he can't see much meaning in it at all
Everything is right as it was before, only leaving him with a deeper sense of despair
Would things really be better if they'd never met? or if he'd just listened to Neil and Kevin and gone along with their plans?

He clearly wasn't important enough to Spencer to even warrant a simple goodbye
Is this what his friends were so worried about? had they really seen this coming?
Well then, he supposes they were right
against everything he'd believed about Spencer, against all the time they'd spent, everything he's done for him
He left

Practically unannounced, quietly in the night like someone who'd passed away
All of this happened so abruptly... he has to wonder how Spencer might've found out about Neil and Kevin's plan in the first place
Had one of them gone and told him before he could get the chance to? he remembers Spencer bringing them up somewhere in their conversation last night, which is honestly just a blur of painful emotions now
He'd be angry, he should be, but right now he somehow feels to blame

He should've been the one to tell him about his contract
He should've just bitten the bullet that night at the party, maybe then they could've figured things out together, even if he would've had to remind him the next morning
Is this all because of his own weakness? some kind of lesson in not prolonging the inevitable?
No... he can't place all of the blame on himself
Spencer had most likely made up his mind long before he tried to convince him otherwise, he doubts things would've turned out much different if he knew any sooner

He did what he could
It just wasn't enough, was it?

He slowly rises, taking in the sight of a room he no longer recognizes
It won't ever look the same to him now
So empty. His very own island of Naxos it seems

He may be dramatic for feeling so upset over this, after all, it's not the worst outcome, far from it in fact
But he's never gained and lost something so quickly, something that could've been much more than what it was
Maybe it's for the best that Spencer took the initiative to leave
If he feels this way now, he can only imagine how horrible it would've felt to see him go after the six months planned
Still, at least he would've had a proper chance to say goodbye...

Then, he spies something plastic under the side table, reflecting sunlight onto his face as he shifts to get a better look at what it might be

Of course, Spencer's cd collection... but what's it all still doing here?
Maybe he'll come back for it...?
No, he doubts that. If Spencer left anything behind, it had to have been on purpose

Maybe he'll listen to them. It's all he has left of him now after all
It's strange, but it gives him comfort to know that there's at least something beyond the rearrangement of the room itself to prove he existed at all, and that he won't walk out of this finding the past month or two to have all been some kind of dream or vivid hallucination

Though, he doesn't think even the deepest reaches of his subconscious could create such a character

Well, fair weather friend
He wishes you well

It's time to pick up what's left of who he was before you crashed headlong into his life

-

Kevin thinks Ryan's been acting kind of off today
Well, he's been acting off all weekend, but specifically today he seems a lot different
Before, he looked like he had a million things to say to them that he was just keeping unsaid to teach them some kind of lesson

Now, it's like he's not even keeping his mouth shut on purpose. Like he just legitimately has nothing to say anymore
Now, he might not know what exactly happened, but by process of elimination, it had to have been between him and Spencer, and by the looks of it, it couldn't have been anything good

When he noticed Spencer's car missing from the driveway, he was gonna ask about it at first, but then he realized that probably had something to do with Ryan being under the weather
So he hasn't brought it up yet

Neil's been noticing it too, maybe a bit more at that
He knows exactly what happened, or he at least has a pretty good guess
Spencer's gone (great news)
Now Ryan's more upset than ever (not-so-great news)

He knows he's the reason why this whole thing got so out of hand for all of them, but in his defense, if Spencer stuck around, Ryan probably wouldn't even be sitting at this table with them right now

He just wishes he were less depressed about the ordeal. He knew what he did would end up with Ryan hurting more, but he couldn't stand the thought of him running off with Spencer
He's still definitely gotta make it up to him somehow, he just doesn't know how he can

Ryan, sensing the uncertainty in the way Neil and Kevin keep glancing up at him, decides it's no good trying to maintain this petty vow of silence any longer
"Well, gentleman, it appears you were right"

Kevin nearly chokes on the drink he just took a huge sip of almost immediately beforehand. He looks back at Neil who's practically frozen mid bite of cereal
Of all times for Ryan to start talking again, it's safe to say that neither of them expected right now

"I suppose this is the part where one of you says 'I told you so'?"

Neil starts to say something, but Kevin shuts him down quick
"No- look, we're sorry, Ryan. I guess we didn't think you'd take this whole thing so hard"

"I see... so now that you have what you wanted, you're apologizing?"

"No, that's not-... We wanted to take everything back the night we told you"

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because it was too late" Kevin replies with a sigh, leaning back against the dining room chair "Imagine what it would've looked like to the studio if we tried to backtrack immediately after getting a response?"

Ryan thinks he's starting to understand
He's still furious at them for it, but they do seem genuinely sorry, even if their apology is only directed at himself
It's not like they could say the same thing to Spencer anyway, he's probably halfway across the state by now...
He's tired of fighting like this, especially if it's no use anymore
So, no matter how difficult it may be, he'll have to find it in his heart to forgive them "Alright... just promise me this won't ever happen again" He extends his hands out for twin pinkie promises

"Oh, trust me, we've learned our lesson" Kevin replies, gladly accepting the offer "Haven't we, Neil?"

Neil's just been sitting in silence beside Kevin this whole time
He hesitates for a second, thinking about crossing his fingers behind his back, but to be honest, he's just as tired of this fight as the both of them (and, well, the problem is solved now, so what's the point?)
"Yeah, I think we can all agree on that" he says, also accepting the promise after a beat

Ryan smiles at them for the first time in what's felt like weeks

It feels a bit like he's just crawling back to them after being proven wrong, but he can't exactly afford any more burnt bridges right now, and their friendship is more important to him than any disagreement they might have

In a brilliant moment of serendipity, the sunlight cast from the window next to the table hits the wall just right, subtly spelling something out as they all take notice of it

"Hey, that looks like..." Neil trails off, pointing as he watches Kevin get up to move the curtains the rest of the way open

"A message from the studio!" They all exclaim in unison

It's about time they gave them another webisode prompt! They were all beginning to wonder what was taking so long

"They want us to make a soap opera themed webisode?"

"Well, guys, it looks like we're in for more twists and turns than a maze" Kevin comments, already wondering how they'll be able to condense an entire soap opera into one webisode "We better go ahead and start working on the script"

"Oh, I'll get the soap!"

"Uh, Ryan, I don't think that's what they... never mind"

-

Just great, it's already starting to snow. Since when does it snow this early into the season?
Not like he actually cares that much, it's just totally harshing his vibe by making it way harder to see like five feet in front of him
Whatever, he's tired of driving anyway. He thinks he sees a house or something on that big hill over there, and since there's literally nothing else but trees and dirt roads around, he figures he should try asking whatever antisocial geed who probably lives there if he can crash until he can start driving again without getting even more lost than he already is (literally, metaphorically, however you'd interpret that)

He parks by the base of what he can see is actually closer to a mountain now as he looks up at it
He thinks about putting a jacket on or something before he gets out, but nah. If he's gonna be out here for a while, he'll have to get used to the cold

It takes a while to actually reach the top
By the time he does, he seriously starts regretting that last minute choice; only when he stops in front of the door does he realize that he'd have to walk all the way back down if he gets turned away

As he knocks on said door, he makes a mental note to literally never do this again, not just cause he's practically going numb from the cold, but because this interaction is bound to be totes embarrassing no matter how cool he plays it

When the door opens, he's met with a weirdly cartoonish looking guy, like the type you'd see twirling their mustache as they tie some kind of damsel to a set of train tracks
He narrows his eyes at Spencer, looking him up and down in bemused silence

"Uh, heh- y-you wouldn't happen to be looking for a roommate, would you?" Spencer asks, leaning on the doorframe to try and seem more casual even as snowflakes blow past him

The misery meister takes a moment to process that outlandish request, but then he senses something strange in the very way this man carries himself
Why, he can practically feel the misery emanating from him
Despite the brightly colored apparel and awkward grin he bears, there is something deeply synthetic about it all
It intrigues him
"Hm... mayhaps" He muses, stepping aside to allow him room to come in

Spencer enters, sighing in relief at the fact that he probably Won't be getting frostbit now
"Thanks, bro. Dig those fingerless gloves by the way... you seem pretty cool, y'know?"

He laughs. A suspicious looking grin creeping across his face as he shuts the door behind him
"Why, I'm the very meaning of the word"