Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alexander and General Washington are arguing, again. About the same thing, again.

“Why won’t you give me a command?! I’ve proven I’m worthy a million times over and we’re in desperate need of more hands in this fight!” Alexander yells. Causing Laurens to wince, Lafayette looking between the two men as he speaks, “Maybe we should all calm down, oui?”

The other aides just stand there awkwardly, not wanting to get involved. “Son, I-” The general says calmly.

“I’m not your son!” Alexander yells, it comes out much harsher then he meant it to, and his eyes widen slightly in surprise at his own tone.

Washington slams his hands down on the table. “Take a walk!”

Alexander huffs angrily and spins on his heels and storms out the telt, Laurens looking between the telt flap and the general before hurrying after Alexander “Hamilton wait!”

Chapter Text

It’s not even half a day later and they are setting out for the battle, Alexander riding beside Laurens, behind Lafayette. The redhead is talking about anything and everything, his mind running on another track then his mouth.

Lauren’s POV.

Alexander’s stops talking when we arrive at the battlefield, it’s a sprawling expanse of pretty hills, only a few trees providing cover for the revolutionaries. The battle goes mostly as planned and then when the British are running or dead I turn to Alexander and yell “Alex!” as a wounded British soldier’s bullet rips through my dear Alex’s shoulder.

I register as Lafayette turns and sees what’s happening, Laf shoots the British soldier, but I’m already by Alexander’s side, catching the violet eyed man before he can collapse.

Outsider’s POV.

Alexander opens his eyes. He looks around confused his vision too blurry to see anything, he’s supposed to be beside Lafayette and his Laurens, standing on the battlefield. The searing pain in his shoulder turned into a dull throbbing.

There’s someone in front of him, their holding Alex tightly, pressing against his shoulder. Then another pair of hands come up behind him, pressing tightly against the other side of his shoulder. “Hurts-”

His vision steadies slightly and he’s met with his dear Laurens bright blue eyes, shining with concern. “John?” He whispers as his vision keeps swimming. “YES! Alex, it’s me. Just keep your eyes open, k-keep talking, everything's going to be alright” His dear Laurens says one of the four hands shifts to hold Alex’s cheek, keeping his head up right even though he’s leaning against Lafayette.

“Where’s Laf?” Alex asks as he leans into Laurens’ touch. The Frenchmen shoots a concerned look to Laurens before answering, “I’m right here. Mon ami, tout ira bien. Continue de respirer. (My friend, everything will be okay. Keep breathing.)”

Alex sighs as relaxes into Lafayette, “I’m dying, aren’t I?” The redhead asks softly. “I’m don’t want to die-”

“You’re not going to die Alex, come on. Base isn’t too far away, we’re going to get you a doctor.” Laurens says with desperation in his voice. As Lafayette presses his hand harder against the wound.

Alex’s eyes grow hazy again, but he keeps talking. “I don’t hate General Washington,”

“Hey, we know mon ami.” Laf says as the two taller men get the youngest onto his feet. Alex lets his head fall forward onto Laurens' shoulder, “Do you think he knows that?” The redhead asks.

“You’ll have to ask him yourself. We’ll get you back to camp and to a-a doctor. Then you can ask him. Come on.” John says as he picks Hamilton up and nods to Laf with a look.

Laf gets back on his horse and through teamwork they get Alex up in front of the Frenchman. “Oui, just take a deep breath.” Laf says as he wraps his arm around the shorter man's torso to press one hand against the front of the bullet wound, drawing a small sound from Alex, shifting slightly so the back of the wound is pressing against the taller man’s collar.

John flings himself back in the saddle and they take off towards camp. Lafayette trying not to jostle the youngest man too much.

“Do you like the weather, Alexander?” Laurens asks, trying to keep the redhead awake. Alex head leans back on Lafayette’s shoulder, and the red head looks up at the sky, “I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad to die on a day like this.” he mumbles.

“You’re not going to die, mon ami. You need to ask Washinton your question, remember?” Laf says as he presses his hand harder against the wound. Alex continues to look up at the passing clouds through the tree branches. “I always thought I’d die by drowning. Drown under the stars, looking up at the the last light of dawn as I sink to the bottom. Water filling my lungs... I remember what it’s like to drown.”

Laurens looks at Laf and Alex with horror in his eyes, “What do you mean you remember what it’s like to drown?” Alex smiles as he winces again as he’s jostled by the horse. “You don’t breathe in until the last second, your instincts won’t let you. Then water filled my lungs, and I wasn’t scared anymore. Then when I woke up, I was staring up at the moon, I was scared again. A complete stranger had pulled me out of the water and made me cough up the water. I don't even remember his face.”

Chapter Text

The three men arrive at the camp and continue to the medical tent, the revolutionaries parting for them, Laurens jumps down as soon as his horse is fully stopped and hurries to Laf’s horse, getting Alexander down from the horse, Lafayette himself following closely.

“Hi...” Alex mumbles as he collapses against John. “Hi. We’re here.” His dear John whispers back. Alex looks up at the sky, “I like the clouds.” He mumbles as they hurry into the medical tent.

“I need a doctor!” Lafayette yells, two doctors half-run over to the three men and they take Alexander from John. Laurens hands twitch back towards his dear Alexander, his dear dying Alexander. Lafayette places a hand on Laurens’ shoulder, “Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Hamilton will survive.” the Frenchman says, though his voice gives way halfway through.

“We should tell Washington.” John whispers, as he continues to look after the doctors. “Oui...” Laf says as he looks at Laurens, “Come on, we need to talk to the General.”

They walk in silence, both glancing back towards the medical tent every few steps. “What do we even tell him?” John asks softly. “I truly don’t know.” Lafayette answers and they stop in front of the general and the aide’s tent.

Laurens takes a steadying breath, and Lafayette opens the tent flap and the two men enter. “General...” Laurens says softly, and the general looks up at him and Laf.

Washington’s POV.

“General...” Laurens says in this worryingly soft voice, like his voice is going to break at any moment. I look up at them expecting to find Lafayette and Alexander standing beside him. But only Lafayette is standing there besides him. Lafayette is covered in blood, but there’s no visible wounds on him, Laurens hands are covered in blood too.

“Where’s Alex?” I say, my voice sounding calmer then I am.

“He’s in the medical tent.” Lafayette says as Laurens eyes brim with tears. “He got shot. We-we don’t know if he’ll survive.” Laurens says, his voice cracking mid-way through. That gets the attention of the other aides, all now staring at the two blood covered men.

Chapter Text

Laurens is pacing and Lafayette is fidgeting with his blood covered hands. George Washington's leg is bouncing up and down rapidly as he pretends to be working. The other aides made up an apology to leave not long ago, unable to just sit wait for news.

A messenger pushes open the flap and stands at attention. "General Washington." He says as with slightly heavy breathing, as if he had sprinted through the camp. Washington nods, "Speak."

"I regret to tell you that Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Hamilton has died a little more then four minutes ago." The messenger says with a flinch.

Laurens heart breaks at the news and he freezes up. Lafayette covers his mouth as tears brim in his eyes, "Non, non. Non... s'il te plaît, pas Alexandre, (No, no. No... please not Alexander.)" Washington freezes up, "You're dismissed." he says roughly to the messenger.

Laurens’ POV.

It’s suddenly hard to breathe and my vision is blurring, the only sound I can hear is the blood rushing past my ears. Alexander... my Alex is dead. No, he can’t be dead. Can he? Please God, no. Not my Alex.

The messenger has left, and I collapse to my knees. “No...” I say and my voice breaks, the first sob ripping its way out of his throat. “No.” Not my Alex. Another sob escapes my throat and then I’m crying openly and loudly. “No please no!”

Lafayette’s POV.

I’m begging, I know that, but Alex... the never-ending storm of brilliant- and a few dumb ideas would never speak again. The youngest aide is dead, and he’ll never write again. The only other immigrant in camp would never share anymore stories of his time on the seas.

One of my best friends is dead, if I had just ridden faster, we would have made it in time. John is on the ground sobbing. I sit down beside him and wrap my arms around him, as my shoulders start shaking and tears flow down my cheeks.

Washinton’s POV.

My aide de camp was dead, my kid was dead. And the last conversation I ever had with him was an argument. That can’t be true, it just can’t. Please don’t be true. I should be strong for Laurens and Lafayette, they are on the floor, both crying. Eliza needs to be informed too...

It will have to wait for later. I get up and walk around the table and get down on one knee. I pull the two young men closer, hugging them tightly.

Chapter Text

Laurens is pacing and Lafayette is fidgeting with his blood covered hands. George Washington's leg is bouncing up and down rapidly as he pretends to be working. The other aides made up an apology to leave not long ago, unable to just sit wait for news. 

A messenger pushes open the flap and stands at attention. "General Washington." He says as with slightly heavy breathing, as if he had sprinted through the camp. Washington nods, "Speak." 

“Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Hamilton has gotten out of surgery. He’ll live. He’s still asleep but Doctor André says you can go see him” 

Laurens’ POV: 

Relief washes over me as I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, “Oh, thank god.” I whisper softly. I leave the tent knowing I should ask General Washington first, but in that moment I don’t care. I need to see my Alexander. 

I rush to the medical tent and Doctor André points me to a curtained off section of the tent, “I set up three stools, go see him.” I slow down and take a breath before entering. Glancing back at the doctor, who has a knowing grin, “Thank you.” I say and take another deep breath. 

As I step past the curtain I see my Alex. For a moment all I can see is his hazy unseeing violet eyes staring up at me. But I blink and see him sleeping peacefully, if it wasn’t for the bandages and Alex’s inability to sleep peacefully, I’d think he was perfectly fine. 

I just watch the rise and fall of his chest for a long moment before walking the rest of the way and sitting one of the stools set next to the bed. I take his hand, letting my head rest on his good shoulder. “You’ll wake up soon, right?” 

Lafayette’s POV: 

For the first time it feels like I can breathe normally, my best friend and one of the few fluent French speaking men, the only barrable one, in camp was okay. We will still gossip right in front of the General without being berated and we’ll continue to teach Laurens French together. God knows I couldn’t do it alone. 

I glance at the General, but Laurens is already hurrying out of the tent. Washington nods and I follow him, though more slowly. 

Doctor André looks up from his work and points me towards Alexander and Laurens. “Merci.” I say as I hurry to my friends. 

I push past the curtain and see Laurens basically clinging to Alex’s unconscious form. I smile softly at that. They think me and Washington hasn’t realized Laurens and Hamilton are in love, but I noticed the moment they saw each other in that bar on that fateful day. And Washington has somehow always known too. 

I turn my attention to Alex and walk to the opposite side of the red-haired man’s bed. I sit on the stool Doctor André set up; I should remember to thank him again later. At that moment General Washington walks in, but he says nothing just looks at Alex with a look of pure softness. A parent looking at his son sleeping form. 

Washington's POV: 

All the tension in my body is let go and I smile gratefully. I quickly clear my throat and thank and dismiss the messenger. Laurens has run out of the tent, but at the moment I don’t care that he’s being rude. Lafayette looks over at me and I nod to him, and he follows John. I finally sign the last paper; one Alex wrote. 

I need to go see my kid.