Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Singer Auto Salvage Yard might not have been much at first glance to anyone driving by, but to Dean Winchester, the place had always been something special — the closest thing he’d really had to a “home” since his own had burned down when he was four years old. Not that he’d actually admit to anyone that something like that mattered to him. As far as anyone else was concerned, life on the road suited him just fine — and really, most of the time it did. But the respite Bobby’s house offered when his dad decided to drop him and Sam off was nice too.

Of course, this time would be a little different. Dean noticed the changes as soon as they’d pulled up — and from the arched eyebrow John shot in Bobby’s direction as the three Winchesters clambered up the porch stairs, he gathered he wasn’t the only one. The yard was cleaner, and while the house was still faded, Dean realized after a moment that all the windows had been fixed. Bobby gave John a look and shrugged.

“Had to pass inspection,” he gruffed, “for Lainey.”

“Lainey’s here?” Sam asked at the same time Dean’s stomach did a weird kind of flip. He hadn’t seen her since their dads had gone on that hunt, the one where everything had gone to shit. He’d forgotten Sam didn’t know, and judging from the uneasy look that passed between their dad and Bobby, the adults had forgotten too.

“Uh, yeah. She’s at school right now, but I bet she’ll be real happy to see you. C’mon, let’s get you two settled and we can all catch up,” Bobby answered, ushering them into the house.

Lainey Hollings was the closest thing Dean had ever had to a best friend… or hell, probably the closest he’d ever had to a friend, period. Her dad was a hunter, just like his — or had been anyway. Ronald Hollings had met his end at the hands of some cave dwelling monster that had almost taken out John too.

He’d known Lainey since they were about seven years old, when Bobby had introduced their dads. She was only a handful of months younger than him, and even though they butted heads and seemed to sometimes make getting under each other’s skin almost a game, they mostly got along. She’d always been a ball of energy, as fiery as her distinctive red hair and with an enthusiasm Dean often had trouble understanding. Sam worshiped the ground she walked on — he always told Dean she was the fun one — and that was really where they usually clashed. Lainey was cool, more than cool even, but Dean was pretty sure the word responsibility wasn’t even in her vocabulary.

When her dad died, she’d been sent to live with her older brother.

Kyle Hollings was four years older than Dean and Lainey, and had mostly gotten out of hunting when he’d turned 18. Dean had known him just as long as he’d known Lainey, and had always thought the dude was fine, but that was about it. Kyle and Lainey had always been close, but Kyle had never really seemed to have time or the interest in him or Sam.

Dean didn’t know the details of what happened — his dad hadn’t been willing to share. But he knew that things with Kyle hadn’t worked out, and that somehow Lainey had ended up with Bobby about a month ago. Although the idea of Bobby being a full time parent was still something Dean was trying to wrap his mind around.

The inside of the house was similarly tidied and cleaned in a way Dean hadn’t seen before, though the guest room he and Sam shared when they visited was right where it had always been, and it didn’t take them long to settle in.

“Why d’you think Lainey’s here? Do you think she’ll be here as long as us? I thought Kyle stopped hunting — it’ll be cool, though, if she’s here the whole time we are. Wait till we show her that book we found in New Orleans — the one with all those different protective sigils?”

Dean winced, glad that Sam couldn’t see his face. He didn’t want to be the one to clue his brother in, didn’t feel like he really knew enough to do it, but he had enough sense to realize someone needed to say something, before Lainey got home.

“Yeah, bet she’ll get a kick out of it,” Dean mused distractedly. It was true, Lainey was as much a nerd sometimes as Sam, but Dean’s mind wasn’t on that just the. “Uh, listen Sam. I don’t know what happened, but I’m pretty sure Lainey’s living here now. I overheard Dad talking to Bobby, and it didn’t work out with Kyle.”

Sam’s eyes widened almost comically, but Dean ignored him, continuing to go about pulling together his dirty clothes — laundry was always the first thing they did when they landed at Bobby’s. Or one of them, anyway.

“Is Kyle okay?” Sam asked.

And that was the bitch of it, wasn’t it? Dean was pretty sure Kyle was fine. He just apparently didn’t want to be bothered with the responsibility of taking care of his kid sister. The fact that that possibility hadn’t even crossed Sam’s mind gave life to a warmth in Dean’s chest at the same time a flare of anger slashed through it.

Life wasn’t about what you fucking wanted. He’d never let Sam doubt whether or not he had his back; that was his job as the big brother. Sam was his responsibility, and if that was the only thing he did right then that was still a job well done. He could say all he wanted that he didn’t know what happened, and he really didn’t, but the truth was he didn’t give a shit either. It pissed him off that Kyle had bailed. Lainey could be a pain in the ass, but she didn’t deserve that.

“Yeah, he’s fine. She’s just with Bobby now. C’mon, let’s get downstairs. I’m starving. Hopefully there’s something edible in the fridge.”

Sam looked like he wanted to ask more questions, but Dean didn’t give him the opportunity, grabbing the pile of clothes and pushing back out the door to head towards the basement instead. It was maybe a little shitty, not to hang around, but it wasn’t like he had answers, and at least he’d done enough to — hopefully — avoid Sam saying something he shouldn’t to Laine when she got there. That was enough for him. This wasn’t his mess.

He and Sam were still sitting in Bobby’s kitchen eating lunch when they heard the front door opening and a new set of footsteps entering the house. Their dad and Bobby were in the study, going over something — Dean assumed it had to do with whatever hunt his dad was gearing up for, but John had been oddly tight lipped about it. The hum of their conversation died out and Dean turned around to look in time to see Lainey walk in, pausing halfway between the kitchen table and where John and Bobby were situated at the desk, her eyes sweeping over them all and taking stock of her audience.

The last time Dean had seen her had been a year ago. They’d been holed up in some crap motel, charged with taking care of Sam, when his dad had stumbled back — bloodied and broken himself, with a look on his face that had spoken volumes before any actual words had left his mouth. They’d rented one of the suites, and John had carefully closed the bedroom door where Sam had been sleeping before delivering the news that Lainey’s dad hadn’t made it home with him.

She’d been hysterical at first — refused to believe it and loud enough Dean had been surprised Sam hadn’t woken up. It hadn’t been until she’d run outside and found Ron’s body in the trunk of the Impala that she’d accepted the facts and then she’d crumpled.

His dad had been distinctly uncomfortable, but had gone and rented a second room, mumbling something about calling Kyle in the morning. Dean had spent the rest of his night holding her while she sobbed into his chest, offering whatever comfort he could all the while knowing it wouldn’t make a difference.

He’d already seen a lot of shit in his life — but that night had been one of his worst.

By the time Kyle had shown up a little over thirty-six hours later to pick up Lainey and give Ron a hunter’s funeral, Lainey had gone practically catatonic. When John or Sam had tried to talk to her she’d managed one or two word answers, but she’d stayed otherwise silent — a stark contrast to her typically boisterous demeanor. And after she’d cried herself to sleep in Dean’s arms, she’d stayed practically glued to him until Kyle had taken her away, quietly tucking herself into his side while they’d been sitting around waiting, taking the seat next to him at the table when John had tried to get them all to eat, slipping her hand into his as they’d watched her father burn.

The Lainey in front of them today was a far cry from the broken shell he’d watch drive off in the backseat of Kyle Hollings’ car, but she was a far cry from the Lainey he’d grown up with too. She still had the same red hair, green eyes, and button nose he’d recognize anywhere, but the aura around her had changed. There was a hardness about her whereas before she’d always been all bubbles and smiles, and the loud confidence that had often gotten under Dean’s skin had been replaced with something quieter… darker, even.

Still, a smile quirked at her lips as her eyes scanned the room, and she hoisted the strap of the messenger bag higher over her shoulder, one of her thumbs hooking into the belt loop of the distressed, black jeans covering her legs.

“Full house,” she commented mildly, and that was when Sam looked up and seemed to notice her.

“Lainey!”

Her eyes darted in his direction, catching on Dean for a moment on their way, and a real smile formed on her face — more subdued than the one Dean was used to seeing in his memory but no less genuine. “Hey Sammy, Dean.”

“How was school, kid?”

“It was fine,” Lainey shrugged, turning back to Bobby. “Hey, John.”

“Heya, Lainey. It’s good to see you.”

“You too, sir. Bobby, you cool if I head into town? Need to swing by the library and do some research for a paper.”

She was already starting to move but Dean seemed to catch the stern, skeptical look Bobby sent in her direction at the same time Lainey did, and she froze.

“What paper?” he challenged, and Lainey arranged her features to look offended. It was an effort that might have been worth something with a different audience.

“A history paper, what’s it matter?”

There was a tense moment that followed, and Dean waited with bated breathe to see what would happen. That was the kind of shit that John Winchester didn’t tolerate, but Ron Hollings always had, and he was curious to see what Bobby Singer’s way of handling it would be. From the look on his face, his dad was too.

Bobby looked like he wanted to let her have it, but something held him back, and the response he gave was measured. “Well, ‘s gonna have to wait. Go to the library tomorrow. You’re home tonight, so you might as well get comfortable.”

“But Bobby —“

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

There was a huff and an eye roll from Lainey, but it was dropped. Rather than settle in, however, there was a muttered fine, I’ll study upstairs, as Lainey turned on her heel and backtracked towards the staircase. Dean caught the look that his dad and Bobby shared before they quietly went back to what they were doing, and Dean turned back towards Sam.

His brother looked as disappointed as he felt, but Dean pushed the feeling aside and shot Sam a look that told him to do the same.

Had he thought she’d be excited to see them? Yeah, maybe… there was definitely a part of him that had been looking forward to seeing her again after so long. But so what if she wasn’t? Dean wasn’t about to sit around and mope about it… she could have just had a bad day.

He and Sam would be there awhile. They’d have plenty of time to catch up, and he was sure that whatever was going on with her, things would be back to normal in no time.

In the days that followed, however, Dean quickly came to realize that it was not a bad day, and that whatever Lainey had been through in their time apart had left her dark and surly in a way that didn’t suit her. She was moody and kept to herself more often than not, disappearing from the house whenever she could with as little information as possible, and sometimes barely willing to exchange grunts with him and Bobby.

Sam was the only one Lainey seemed to put any effort into being pleasant with, hints of her old self shining through when he’d talk to her, but even that was limited and seemed to be a strain for her.

“She always like that?” Dean asked Bobby Saturday night. It was about three days after his dad had dropped him and Sam there, and they were washing the dishes after dinner. Sam was in the other room, reading, and Lainey had just ducked out with some vague complaint that she ’had shit to do’ and a promise she’d be back by curfew.

“What, a moody pain in the ass?” Bobby groused back, quirking up an eyebrow. Then he seemed to catch himself, a sigh slipping past his lips while his expression softened and he nodded. “Yeah, I think she’s been having a hard time adjusting. Was hoping having you boys around might help but…”

Bobby trailed off but Dean understood anyway. “Yeah.”

Some amount of the bitterness must have been detectable in his voice because Bobby shot him a sympathetic look Dean could have done without.

“Give her some time. She’s been through a lot… I’ll bet she comes around.”

Dean wasn’t so sure, but he didn’t say anything and instead focused on drying the pot in his hands.

So what if she didn’t seem to want anything to do with him anymore? Her fucking loss, he didn’t need her.

Though there was a voice that nagged in the back of his head that unhelpfully called bullshit. It pointed out that, annoying as she used to be and as much as he used to complain, he missed his friend. Missed the way they used to banter, how she’d always been the one with a smile and a ridiculous amount of exuberance he used to find exhausting… she’d always been the light to his dark and he hadn’t realized how much he’d appreciated that until it was gone.

Dean didn’t see Lainey again until the next day. He’d heard her stumble up to her room later, after he and Sam had already turned in and he was sitting up with his Walkman in his lap and headphones jammed over his ears, idly flipping through a magazine while Sam snoozed in the next bed over, but he hadn’t gone to investigate. Once upon a time, he ruminated, it might have been different… she likely would have even tried to rope him into whatever trouble she’d been out getting up to. But whatever had shifted with her had shifted something with them too, and Dean didn’t know how to span the distance.

Of course, Lainey and trouble were two words that went hand in hand, and it found him eventually.

It was after breakfast that it happened. Dean had trekked back up the stairs by himself, intent on enjoying his last few hours of freedom before he and Sam were set to start up school again the next day — though Sam would be at the local elementary school, and Dean knew he’d be at Sioux Falls High with Lainey. Sam had offered to help Bobby with some kind of research, and Dean had decided to capitalize on the rare opportunity for some time to himself.

He decided to take a leak before settling into his shared room, and the door to the bathroom swung open just before he went to reach for the handle. It brought him face to face with Lainey, who, until that moment, he had thought was still passed out in her room. Her eyes widened in surprise, the most vulnerable expression he’d seen on her face since he and Sam had arrived, but Dean was sure it had nothing on the shock detectable on his own face.

“Shit, Dean what are you —” she began, but by then Dean had not only caught sight of her, but the mess of a bathroom she was standing in front of, and a scoff escaped his mouth while his eyes bugged out further.

“The hell did you do, Laine?” he demanded, cutting off the rest of whatever question she’d been in the middle of asking. She looked around him nervously before giving him a furious look, clearly implying he should keep his voice down.

“Would you shut up, it’s not a big deal,” she hissed.

But Dean was pretty sure it was going to be a very big deal. Because Lainey’s signature red hair was now a muddy, mousy brown, and the sink she’d clearly used to dye it, was a disaster — stained and still littered with all manner of materials and implements Dean didn’t bother trying to catalogue.

The part of him that had been feeling shunted aside the last few days, the part that was kind of pissed at her, started to brighten, amusement creeping in as he took note of just how deep a hole she’d gotten herself in.

“Bobby’s gonna kill you,” he started to laugh, and Lainey, eyes darting around nervously, grabbed his wrist and quickly pulled him back into the bathroom with her, closing the door behind them hastily.

“Would you shut up? I was on my way to get something to clean all this up.” She motioned vaguely to all the crap cluttering up the small counter. Dean barked out another laugh.

“And you don’t think he’d have had something to say about this?” he asked, fingering a lock of her hair. She quickly batted his hand away, a disgruntled look on her face, but he just ignored her. By that point, he was used to her surly demeanor. “I mean, what the hell were you thinkin’?”

Apparently it was the wrong thing to say, because any anxiety was replaced with anger and she glared at him.

“Get bent! It’s my hair, I can do whatever the fuck I want with it.”

Dean couldn’t explain what it was, but there was something in the way she reacted that made him sober and even soften a little bit. It felt like the anger was a mask, but he couldn’t fully put his finger on what she was using it to cover.

Lainey had always been a little fiery… but not like this. Before it had been fueled by a fearlessness Dean had always felt was ill advised. This felt different… a kind of pain and anger he wasn’t sure what to do with.

“Why’d you do it?” he asked, his voice gentling. He took care to keep any judgment from the question, hoping to help convey his genuine curiosity. Not that it yielded him any results.

“What’s it matter?” she huffed, though some of wind had seemed to drop from her sails. “I wanted a change, that’s all. What were you coming this way for anyway?”

Dean rolled his eyes and nodded towards the toilet. “I had to take a piss, what’d you think?”

“Well, fine. You do that, I’ll go grab what I need.”

Later, Dean wouldn’t be able to say what possessed him to do it, but his hand shot out and wrapped around her wrist that time when she went to leave. Lainey turned, looking back at him expectantly, her impatience clear, but Dean held on.

“Hey, you good?” he asked. A flash of what might have been fear crossed her face before she covered it up with the edgy indifference he’d come to expect.

“Peachy, why?”

Dean sighed, running his free hand down his mouth and mentally debating himself. This wasn’t his normal schtick, and he wasn’t feeling all that fondly towards her, but Lainey was his friend. He cared about her, even if she was a pain in the ass, and all was clearly not well. Even if she didn’t want to talk about it.

And even if she didn’t wanna talk about her, all was clearly not well with them, and that bothered Dean more than he cared to admit.

“Because before this, you’d hardly said ten words to me since I got here, and usually you’re my fucking shadow. You pissed at me or something?”

For how things had been, Dean expected her to lash out and storm away. He was surprised when instead she softened, the look on her face growing almost apologetic, and for just a moment, Dean could almost imagine it was the same Lainey he grew up with standing in front of him.

“I’m not pissed at you, I’ve just been busy. We’re good. Promise. Besides, you wouldn’t wanna hang around with me these days anyway. Just leave me alone.”

Then, so fast that Dean couldn’t get a single word out, she pulled her arm out of his grasp and slipped back through the door, closing it behind her with a solid thud. Dean found himself staring after her dumbstruck for a moment before reality caught up with him and he reached for the lock on the handle.

Chicks were a fucking mystery sometimes, and he wasn’t in the mood to try and untangle it right then.

Of course, he was right in his prediction about the fallout. Bobby went through the fucking roof when he saw Lainey’s hair — Dean could hear the shouting from upstairs when it started, and he wisely chose to stay tucked away in his and Sam’s room. He wasn’t at all surprised when Sam slinked up to join him a few minutes later, and dinner that night was a quiet affair. Bobby was still fuming, Lainey was still scowling and bitter, and he and Sam just did their best to stay out of it. Dean had noticed that she had in fact gone back to clean the bathroom, but even after she’d spent what had sounded like hours, there were still a few stains in the sink basin. He’d wisely kept that observation to himself.

“Hey Dean?” Sam asked later that night as they’d been getting ready for bed. Dean grunted, glancing over in his brother’s direction to indicate he was listening. He wasn’t particularly tired, but he definitely wasn’t looking forward to the morning. Regardless of what he told Sam, it wasn’t like he enjoyed constantly jumping from school to school to school either. “Why do you think Lainey changed her hair?”

Dean wasn’t sure what question he’d been expecting, but it hadn’t been that, and he sighed, trying to think of what to say. The concern in Sam’s voice was too real to ignore entirely, but Dean wanted no parts of this shit. Lainey wasn’t his mess to clean up, and she sure as shit wasn’t giving him any answers anyway.

“I don’t know, Sam,” Dean grumbled. “Girls do crazy shit all the time. Maybe she just wanted a change.”

Something in his gut told him this went deeper than that, but he didn’t even know how to begin to articulate it… especially when he still wasn’t sure what it was, and didn’t fully understand it himself. Sam didn’t look particularly appeased.

“She’s different,” he said slowly, and Dean frowned before eventually nodding.

“Yeah, she is,” he agreed quietly. As he finally slipped into bed a few minutes later, however, Dean couldn’t help but think back to the way she’d looked at him earlier in the bathroom — that fleeting moment where the mask had slipped.

There was a flicker of hope he quickly tried to stomp out that maybe the girl he knew was still there under whatever crap was going on with her… that maybe Bobby was right and she’d come around.

Hope was a waste though and only ended with disappointment. So Dean punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape and hunkered down, intent on getting some sleep before whatever hell he was in for the next day.

Chapter Text

School had never been much of a priority for Dean. He wasn’t sure that even if normal had been in the cards for him, he would have been much for academics, but especially with the way they moved around, he had never really found any love for it. The bare minimum was good enough for John — his dad cared more about things like Dean being able to shoot a gun or bow hunt, and Dean wasn’t about to complain.

New schools were just the norm for him by 15 — he’d lost count a long time ago of how many he and Sam had been to — and while he didn’t enjoy it, he was used to it. Had a pattern down. Show up, get the lay of the land, and then ride it out doing as little as possible and maybe finding a way to blow off some steam while he was at it. The only real priority he ever had was making sure he had a way to keep tabs on Sam, but Bobby had already taken care of that. He’d been quick to inform Dean, and John, that the elementary school was too far from the high school for Dean to go check on him like he normally did, but assured both of them he’d keep an eye out instead.

Before they’d gotten to Bobby’s, Dean'd had the briefest moment where he thought it might be a little different this time around than his usual shtick. He and Lainey had never actually gone to school together before, and he thought it could be interesting having someone to hang around with — but it was an illusion he’d been quickly disabused of after they arrived. Lainey barely talked to him at Bobby’s. He doubted she’d be any better outside the house.

His morning went about as he expected. He and Lainey were up at what felt like the ass crack of dawn and shuffled off to Sioux Falls High together, but went their separate ways as soon as they hit the campus. His classes were all the same kind of shit he was used to, just with slightly different walls around him and new faces. The teachers made him get up and introduce himself and were quickly unimpressed with his attitude, while his classmates often had the opposite reaction. Dean ignored most of them — he and Sam never lingered long enough to make friends, which was why Lainey was his only one, and he didn’t feel like wasting his time on a bunch of people that he wouldn’t remember and wouldn’t remember him.

The cute girl in his lit class was the exception. She smiled in his direction, after obviously checking him out, as he sat back down in his seat, and he spared her a wink. The faint flush that crept up her neck threatened to make him smile, and he it didn’t escape his notice that she kept sneaking glances throughout the remainder of the period.

Girls were still a relatively new world for Dean, but he was finding his looks got him pretty far without much effort. Chicks also seemed to dig his general lack of interest in being a “joiner” or care for authority. It was a new world, but he was getting his footing just fine.

“So, Dean, you’re new in town?”

Dean was unsurprised when the girl sidled up to him after the bell rang, flirtatious smile fixed in place and a twinkle in her eye. He had math next but wasn’t particularly concerned about getting there and let her pull him to the side as he nodded. Wasn’t like he knew where the fuck he was going anyway.

“Yeah.”

When he didn’t elaborate, she was undeterred. It was something that was beginning to become predictable.

“And what brings you to Sioux Falls?” she pushed. Dean shrugged.

“We move around a lot for my dad’s work. He’s on a job right now, we probably won’t be here long.”

Vague answers were generally a necessity — it wasn’t like he could just go off talking about what the family business actually was — but he was learning that it was another thing that seemed to draw girls in faster, however unintentional. Almost like they took it as a challenge to try and figure him out.

“Hmm, well if you want, maybe I could show you around some time. My name’s Maddie, by the way.”

Dean gave an easy smile back that was more smirk than anything else. “Oh yeah? Well who would I be to pass up such a generous offer?”

She beamed back at him and pulled a marker from the bag slung over her shoulder. Without asking, she grabbed his hand, pushed back the sleeve of his jacket, removed the cap, and began writing.

“That’s my number. Give me a call and we’ll set something up. See you around, Dean.”

She disappeared down the hallway and around the corner, her blonde hair swishing over her shoulder after she flashed him one final smile. Dean continued to smirk and gave a single nod back. Then, once she was gone, he set about figuring out where his next class was.

His new teacher wasn’t particularly thrilled that he was five minutes late, but Dean didn’t really give a shit. As far as he was concerned, the morning was off to about as good a start as he could have hoped for.

When lunch rolled around he observed the masses for all of five seconds before deciding he had no interest, and instead sniffed out a run down looking picnic table on the outskirts of the quad — far enough away that he suspected he wouldn’t be bothered, but close enough to observe what was going on. He’d just started to peel back the plastic wrap on the hastily made sandwich Bobby had thrust in his direction that morning when someone landed on the table next to him, planning their feet on the bench just like he had. Dead had to do a double take to confirm it was Lainey — not only was he beyond shocked that she’d actually come and found him, but he still wasn’t used to the brown hair.

“Bobby’s sandwiches suck,” she said in way of a greeting, tossing him something wrapped in foil without looking. It was warm to the touch, and she had one too. “He tries, but they’re dry as shit.”

Surprised, Dean pulled back the foil and found it was a burger. From the looks of it, with extra cheese, just how he liked them. “Where’d you get the money for this?”

“What’s it to you? How about a 'thank you, Lainey'?”

Dean rolled his eyes but set the sandwich aside in favor of the burger, even as he shook his head. She was such a fucking piece of work sometimes.

“If this is your way of apologizing for being an ass the last few days, it leaves a lot to be desired, Hollings. I ain’t that easy.”

The moan he inadvertently let out as he took his first bite, however, somewhat undermined the statement, and Lainey gave a snort of laughter.

“Yeah you are,” she disputed, pausing before taking a bite of her own burger. When he caught her eye a moment later, a smile formed on her face — the first real smile he’d seen from her since he and Sam got to town. And just like that, the tension broke, and Dean found the corners of his own mouth twitching up of their own accord.

They ate in silence for a moment, and Dean took the chance to observe her surreptitiously. She still had that dark vibe about her, still seemed like she was on her guard and on edge, but she seemed a little bit more at ease for the time being. The breeze gently batted at the strands of hair that escaping the braid she’d pulled into and he noticed she was wearing makeup around her eyes — something Lainey hadn’t ever done before in his memory, but wasn’t all together unpleasant.

At one point she seemed to catch him looking, and Dean thought for sure she was going to call him out for it. But instead she only stared back, then held out her hand expectantly. “Let me see your schedule.”

Dean raised his eyebrow in response and swallowed the bite he’d been chewing. “And why exactly am I showing you my schedule?”

“Because, dumbass,” she rolled her eyes, still holding out her hand, and Dean began to reach into his bag, “I can tell you what all your ditchable classes are.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, alarm bells started going off. Lainey Hollings was as big a nerd as Sam. Lainey loved school. Loved school so much, whenever Ron had homeschooled her, she was usually into curriculum a year ahead of where she was supposed to be.

“Since when do you ditch classes?” he asked, slapping the paper into her hand. She looked back coolly before turning her attention to his schedule.

“Don’t act so shocked. This place sucks, and I’ve got better things to do with my time.”

Dean wanted to argue, but he was at a loss for words. Giving her any kind of crap would be hypocritical to say the least, and really, it wasn’t the ditching classes that bothered him — he could give a shit about that. It was how un-Lainey-like the ditching classes was.

“Guess that means I shouldn’t come looking to you to copy your homework,” he muttered, reaching for a soda he’d grabbed from a vending machine on his way out. Lainey gave him a side eye without turning away from his schedule, a smirk tugging at her lips.

“Please. I could skip classes for a year and I’d still be smarter than you.”

“Yeah, but I bet I could still outshoot you,” he fired back. The frown passed over her face so fast he almost missed it.

“Yeah, probably. Bet it’s close though.” She finally handed the paper back, sympathetic expression on her face. “That’s shit, by the way. You can probably bail on Bio here and there — old lady Williams is pretty checked out — and maybe gym, but the rest of that schedule’s pretty solid. Someone had your number when they made it. But hey, we’ve got Social Studies together.”

“Well I always did like a challenge,” he said, shoving the schedule back into his bag. “Just because you don’t know how to pull one over doesn’t mean I don’t. It’s all about charm, sweetheart.”

Lainey let out a bark of laughter and lightly shoved him as she grabbed for his soda. “You’re not as smooth as you think you are, Winchester. And you haven’t dealt with school and Bobby. But whatever, it’s your funeral.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, taking the can back as soon as she lowered it from your lips. “I’ll show you smooth.”

“Oh yeah, real smooth. Did I see you talking to Maddie Hirsch earlier?”

It took Dean a few seconds to realize who she was talking about, but once it clicked the petty part of him that was still pissed about how she’d been acting reared it’s head.

“What’s it to you?” he asked, parroting her words from earlier. He expected her to take it in stride, give it back the way she normally did — that was one trait she’d seemed to hold onto in their time apart. He didn’t expect her to stiffen, nor did he anticipate the uncomfortable look that flashed on her face.

“Nothing,” she grunted. “If you wanna hang out with bitches like that, it’s your prerogative. Be my fucking guest.”

Dean’s brow furrowed in confusion and he didn’t bother trying to hide it as he turned to Lainey. “What’s your issue with Maddie? She seemed friendly.”

Lainey rolled her eyes, but reached for her bag. “That’s just because she thinks you’re hot and she wants in your pants. Trust me, she’s a Grade A bitch.”

That he was attractive wasn’t news to him, but he couldn’t help the self-satisfied smirk that formed on his lips. Nor could he resist the opportunity to tease her. “You just sayin’ that because you think I’m hot too? Or you wanna tell me what bug’s actually up your ass?”

But Lainey was already up and off the table, moving as fast as if she’d been scalded by hot water. “Don’t flatter yourself. Listen to me, don’t listen to me, it’s not my fucking problem. Like I said, do whatever you want. It’s your funeral.”

Then, just like the day before in the bathroom, she spun on her heel and rushed off before he could so much as get a word out. Dean watched her go, dumbfounded and trying not to let it show.

He didn’t actually think it was like that with him and Lainey, he’d just been giving her shit. Yeah, she was pretty, really pretty even, despite the stupid brown hair. But even before she’d gone cold shoulder on him, it wasn’t like he thought she liked him like that. And she was his best friend… or had been. But Lainey also got along with everyone, and she’d never hesitated to tell him when something was bothering her. At least not before.

What the fuck was going on with her?

The rest of his day went much the way the first half had. His classes were boring — though Mrs. Williams in his Bio class was exactly as checked out as Lainey had said. Maddie, as it turned out, was in that class with him too. She was quick to send him a smile as she took a seat at the lab table in front of his with one of her friends, turning to catch his eye whenever she could and briefly making conversation with him as textbooks and handouts got passed around the room.

He’d been almost looking forward to Social Studies with Lainey, but he’d somehow gotten to the classroom before her, and when she entered she didn’t so much as look in his direction before settling into a desk in the back corner of the room, as far away from him as possible without venturing towards the front.

He refused to let it sting. If Lainey wanted to be a fucking headcase that was her problem. She was the one making everything so difficult, he wasn’t about to sit around and feel bad about it.

The silent treatment of hers continued until after they were home, at which point she immediately made a beeline for her room, ignoring even Bobby’s attempt to ask how her day had been. As the door slammed shut behind her, the grizzled hunter turned to look imploringly at Dean, but Dean just gave back his own irritated, bewildered expression.

“You wanna tell me what happened that’s got her so riled?” Bobby asked. Dean dropped his bag and headed towards the kitchen, intent on grabbing something to drink.

“Hell if I know. She’s off her rocker,” Dean complained, reaching for the fridge. Bobby frowned but didn’t say anything.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Bobby picked Sam up from school not long after he and Lainey had gotten home, Dean helped the old man work on one of the cars out in the salvage yard, and they ordered pizza for dinner. When he and Bobby came in to eat, it was to find Lainey patiently helping Sam with his math homework. She spared both of them a warm smile, reminiscent of the ones she used to wear all the time, before she seemed to remember she was supposed to be mad at Dean for whatever imagined slight. Then her eyes narrowed, and she quickly refocused on Sam. He noticed, though, that through the rest of the night, while she sat with his little brother, she almost seemed like herself again.

That his dad missed their expected call that night only stung a little bit. It wasn’t anything new. Dean knew how it went — hunts were unpredictable, and John often got swept up in them. When Sam started to get upset about it, he was quick to shut it down, and silently grateful when Lainey backed him up.

“He’s probably just busy. You know how focused your dad gets. I’m sure he’ll call soon,” Lainey soothed, a softness in her voice Dean hadn’t heard the whole time they’d been there.

Sam still looked upset but was somewhat mollified, and went up to bed without a fuss.

“Thanks,” Dean muttered once Sam had walked away. Lainey looked back a little awkwardly and shrugged.

“’S no big deal. Kid shouldn’t have to worry.”

Privately, Dean agreed, but there was nothing either of them could do about it, or even Bobby. So with a short nod, he followed Sam up the stairs, ready to grab a shower and pass the hell out just to do it all over again the next day.

Lainey was still just as pissy when morning rolled around, ignoring him as they got ready for school and ditching his ass as soon as they made it there. He glared after her but then turned and headed towards his own homeroom, already turning his thoughts to other things and writing her off again.

So when she lunch rolled around and she seemingly appeared out of no where once more, Dean was surprised. This time though, he found his eyes narrowing in her direction.

“Oh what? Talking to me again are we?”

Lainey huffed and tossed him another burger. “Shut up,” she mumbled, not meeting his eyes. Dean watched her for a moment before exhaling and turning his attention forward again, working to unwrap the burger.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t entirely comfortable either, and Dean wasn’t sure what to do with it. Lainey was the one who finally broke, though she still didn’t look at him, and Dean almost missed the question.

“How was helping Bobby last night?”

It was a simple question, really — inconsequential… clearly an attempt at small talk and choice of a safe topic. He thought about ignoring her, and almost did, but then he noticed the way she was fidgeting, her knee bouncing almost imperceptibly and her thumb repeatedly flicking at the corner of the foil.

She knew he was pissed, and she was anxious about it. Part of him — the part that had been stinging and missing the way things used to be — thought good, she should be. But it triggered that protective instinct he had too, that part of him that had never done well seeing her or Sam in pain, and he deflated a bit.

“Fine.” Lainey hummed and Dean watched her take another bite of her burger. “How’d it go with Sam?”

A real smile pulled at her lips before she masked it. “Fine. He was having trouble with fractions but I think he’s got it now.” Dean nodded in acknowledgment and let her continue talking. “Did he tell you he’s thinking of signing up for soccer?”

“No,” he frowned. “Why the hell would he waste his time with that?”

Lainey gave him a reproachful look. “Don’t do that,” she said. “Don’t go turning into your dad. It’s perfectly normal for the kid to want to play a sport.”

Dean rolled his eyes. It was somewhat of an old disagreement of theirs. And as annoying as it was, there was a voice in his head that whispered the familiarity of it was kind of nice. “C’mon, Laine. You know how this shit goes. It’s not like we’re gonna be around long enough for him to get settled anyway. And then he’s just gonna bitch when we have to leave.”

“Bobby said y’all would be around at least a month,” she retorted with a shrug. “Definitely long enough to bother enrolling your asses in school, at least.”

Dean tried not to let it show how much he was bothered by the truth of that statement. He didn’t like when they got left behind, and he was still bristling that his dad wouldn’t let him help.

“Yeah, we’ll see,” he grumbled noncommittally.

They passed the rest of the lunch period like that, quietly going back and forth and slowly finding the rhythm they used to have. Lainey didn’t bring up Maddie again, or anything else relating to Sioux Falls High, and Dean followed her lead. And that afternoon, when she got to their shared class, he watched her hesitate for a moment before coming over and sitting next to him.

Dean tried not to react, but his raised eyebrows betrayed his surprise and he couldn’t quite stop his jaw from dropping. Lainey’s cheeks flushed pink and she determinedly looked forward, ignoring him while she started pulling her notebook and pen out of her bag.

“Don’t be weird about it,” she mumbled. Dean promptly shut his mouth, but his lips still curled into a smirk.

Things didn’t go back to “normal” after that, Dean had a feeling they probably never would, but he and Lainey did start to find a new rhythm. Lunch together became a given, though Lainey still wouldn’t tell him how she managed to come up with a burger for each of them every day, and she’d sit with him in Social Studies and quietly pass the period muttering live commentary, colored by her particular brand of sarcasm and dry humor, that had him fighting to hold in his laughter.

Then in the mornings she stopped rushing off so fast. He learned her first stop before homeroom was for coffee, a ritual he quickly began participating in with her. And occasionally, very occasionally, between classes she’d randomly pop up. Always on her terms, because he could never find her when he tried. And when she did appear, she was only ever good for a hello and a few quick words before she ducked away and got herself lost back in the masses, but those surprise encounters never failed to make him smile.

It felt like he had his friend back. Even if she still wasn’t the Lainey he remembered.

At home, she slowly began to come back out of her shell too. Dean noticed it at first with Sam — her smile would be a little softer when she’d help him with his homework, and sometimes her eyes would even light up in excitement when Sam would show her something “cool” he found in a book he was reading. But then Dean noticed other changes too. She didn’t retreat to her room or find reasons to be out of the house so often. She was less surly with Bobby. She’d actually hang out with him and Sam in the evenings, watching whatever crap TV was on and occasionally suggesting a movie.

They didn’t talk about Maddie, though the bright-eyed blonde continued to chat him up whenever she had the chance, and it didn’t escape Dean’s attention that Lainey was particularly prickly with all of them when he finally went out with the girl on Friday. He spent most of his Saturday helping Bobby in the salvage yard, but when he popped back inside to take a break, Sam informed him that Lainey had gone out, and had been MIA for most of the day.

When she finally showed back up a little before dinner, she was still moody, but Dean wasn’t having it this time. He kept an eye out, waiting for an opportunity, and then struck when she trekked down to the basement with a basket of laundry under her arm.

“The hell is up with you?” he asked, not bothering to ease into it as he came up behind her. Lainey jumped, spinning around to spot him before huffing and turning back to the clothes she was dumping into the washer with a roll of her eyes.

“Nice jump scare, asshole,” she muttered, and Dean glared back.

“I’m serious, Laine. You’ve had a bug up your ass since last night for no reason, what’s going on?”

Her movements didn’t falter, but Dean noticed the way her shoulders tightened. “You’re imagining things,” she scoffed back. “I’m fine.”

Dean bit back a frustrated groan. Why did she have to be so goddamn difficult?

Briefly, he wondered if all chicks were this crazy or if Lainey was a special breed. He sincerely hoped it was the latter, because he wasn’t sure he could handle much more of this shit.

“Do I really look that stupid to you?”

“Well, if you really want me to answer that,” Lainey quipped without missing a beat, her mouth quirking into a smirk. She even let herself glance in his direction for the first time since she’d jumped, but Dean wasn’t amused.

“Is this some kind of jealousy thing?” he tried to ask, grasping at straws but past the point of caring. The idea still didn’t track for him, but he was having trouble coming up with another explanation. Especially considering how relatively normal Lainey had been outside of any mentions of Maddie.

“Someone’s full of themselves,” she muttered, and Dean’s eyes narrowed further.

“Well you’re not exactly offering up alternative theories here, sweetheart. What the fuck do you want me to think?

“I don’t want you to think anything! I just want you to leave me the hell alone!” she fired back, her nostrils flaring. And by then, despite his best intentions in going after her, Dean was seething.

“Well if that’s what you want, then fine! I don’t need this shit. All I was trying to do was look out for you! You wanna be a fucking headcase, have at it; you’re not my goddamn problem!”

Anger flashed dangerously in her eyes but Dean was too pissed off to care.

“Screw you, Winchester,” she called after him as he headed back towards the stairs. “I don’t need you doing me any fucking favors!”

They were both fuming for the rest of the night, though neither of them was willing to spill to Bobby when he questioned it, and they settled for determinedly ignoring each other, using Sam and Bobby as proxies when they had to acknowledge the other.

When his dad finally called an hour or two later, though — the first call he made to check in since leaving a little more than a week before — Lainey didn’t hesitate to curl up on the couch next to him afterwards, quietly passing over a mug of tea without comment. It was a peace offering and a gesture of solidarity all at once. Sam and Bobby had already gone up to bed, but Dean had been too wired, his jaw still twitching with irritation he was trying his best to tamp down.

He didn’t like to admit it, but he hated being cut out of things… hated the way his dad dismissed him sometimes. And he hated the way his dad seemed able to just leave them behind for weeks on end — the only useful thing he’d been able to glean from the call was that his and Sam’s stay at Bobby’s would definitely be lasting a while.

It was something Lainey had always understood before, and still seemed to now.

“At least he called,” she said quietly, all traces of her earlier anger gone. Dean nodded stiffly, staring blankly at the TV still playing in front of them. “You know it’s just because he doesn’t really trust anyone else with Sammy. And he’ll be back soon enough. He always is.”

It was achingly familiar, sitting there like that with her, and if Dean didn’t look right at her, he could almost pretend it was before.

Over the years he’d lost count of how many times they’d been left behind, always with Sam and sometimes with Kyle, while their dads went off to hunt evil. They were often the last two awake, and it was only ever in those still, quiet hours when it was just them that either of them let their walls down and the masks fall. Their unspoken agreement had always been to there for each other through the lows without being asked and without judgment… allowing for the moments of weakness very few people could understand, without ever bringing them up again in the light of day.

Dean had assumed this ritual of theirs was in the past, just like everything else he’d come to know about their friendship, and he found his own anger from earlier ebbing in favor of appreciation that she was sitting there with him after all, silently offering him support no one else ever had.

“Yeah, I know you’re right,” he mumbled back, sipping at the mug she’d handed him. He wasn’t much of a tea drinker, but during these late nights it was what Lainey always fell back on. Chamomile, he was pretty sure, though he wasn’t sure how she fixed it for him… he’d never been able to replicate it. He knew she took hers with three small spoons of sugar and a splash of milk, but he also knew that wasn’t how she made his… he’d tried.

Then he glanced in her direction as he went to drop an arm around her shoulders and it hit him all over again how much had changed. Her brown hair, messily braided to the side with strands coming loose and falling out around her face, was the blaring reminder he didn’t need… or maybe he did, considering how he’d been feeling moments before.

Things weren’t the same. But this time, as that realization struck, it wasn’t born out of irritation but rather a pang of sympathy. Here she was, trying to make him feel better about his dad being gone when they both knew hers was never coming home again. His stomach churned as he remembered a night very similar to this, where their positions had been swapped, just before John had come back with the news.

“Thanks, Laine,” he whispered, dropping a kiss to the top of her head and pulling her closer, moving on instinct instead of letting himself think about it. She looked surprised, but recovered quickly enough, and settled into the embrace like it hadn’t been over a year since they’d been this close.

“Always,” she said simply.

The rest of the weekend passed without incident. As expected, Lainey didn’t bring up their late night on the couch, and Dean didn’t either, but the real relief was when instead of jumping back into that silent feud they’d been having, she backtracked seamlessly to the dynamic they’d been rebuilding earlier that week.

“You doing anything tonight?” she asked him on Monday as she hopped up onto the picnic table they congregated at during lunch and tossed him a burger. In turn he handed her the extra can of soda he’d taken to grabbing from the vending machine. Luckily he’d learned that if he kicked it at just the right spot he could usually get the machine to drop an extra if he didn’t have the money.

“Like what?” he scoffed. Lainey shrugged, already busy unwrapping her own food.

“I dunno. Wasn’t sure if you and Bobby had anything more to do on that Chevelle or if you had… other plans.”

It was the closest either of them had come to addressing the Maddie of it all since their argument a few days prior, and Dean wasn’t stupid enough to touch it with a ten-foot pole. He hadn’t stopped talking with the blonde, and he’d been more than happy to pull her into the janitor’s closet between their shared lit class and his math class the following period, barely registering the rebuke he’d received from his teacher when he’d been about ten minutes late… but he wasn’t about to tell Lainey any of that.

“No plans,” he confirmed, popping the top of his soda. “Bobby had to order parts that won’t be in until tomorrow.”

He didn’t mention that the Chevelle was practically finished and that Bobby had quietly started working on her dad’s old Galaxie. That news, he thought, would be best broken by the old man.

“Why, what’s up?” he asked when he noticed her chewing on her lower lip, that nervous energy surrounding her again in a way that hadn’t been as common since those first few days.

“Nothing, I just… Sam’s got soccer practice tonight and he’s really excited. I wasn’t sure if you might want to go watch with me. Thought he might like the support.”

Dean blinked in surprise — he wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t that.

A voice that sounded suspiciously like his dad’s started to bubble up, complaining what a waste of time fucking soccer was, but remembering the excited look on Sam’s face on Friday when he’d told them about joining the team and seeing the anxious expression on Lainey’s face then, he pushed it aside.

“Yeah, count me in,” he agreed. The smile he got in return stayed in his mind the rest of the day — even when he got sent to the principal’s office for cutting his second-period Spanish class, and when Maddie pulled him into one of the supply closets after their Bio class that afternoon for round two.

Dean let himself get lost temporarily in the feel of her body pressed up against his, the way he could taste whatever cherry lip gloss she’d applied at some point during the day, and how she ran her one hand through his hair while slipping the other between the flannel he left hanging open and the t-shirt he had on underneath. Neither of them noticed how much time had passed until the bell rung in the distance. Maddie was the one to reluctantly pull back, her eyes still full of heat, lips swollen from kissing.

“Guess we better get going,” she said, though it was clear she wasn’t ready to be done either. Dean shrugged, ducking his head down to hers.

“Or we could not,” he countered, capturing her lips with his again. She broke it off quickly though, giggling even as he moved his attention onto her ear.

“Yeah, alright, tiger. You might be too cool for school, but if I don’t pull my algebra grade up, my parents are gonna ground me. Could pick this up tonight, though.” Her hand was suddenly at the front of his jeans, the implication clear, and Dean held back a groan — that was definitely new territory. “We could study for that test we have on Friday… I bet I could give you some notes.”

Hell yes was about halfway out of his mouth when he remembered the promise he made Lainey, and a different kind of groan tore from his throat. He dropped his head against Maddie’s shoulder in frustration.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t,” he complained, straightening back up. “I’m going to watch my little brother’s first soccer practice.”

Instead of the disappointment he expected, a renewed sort of interest flashed across her face. Dean catalogued that reaction away for later.

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” she gushed, and while Dean didn’t particularly like the idea of being called sweet, it was clearly a good thing in Maddie’s book. “How about tomorrow then? And you can tell me all about this little brother of yours.”

When he finally showed up to Social Studies, more than a couple of minutes late and looking a little more disheveled than usual, Lainey only rolled her eyes before looking forward back to the teacher. Her typical commentary didn’t come as fast or as frequently as class droned on, but she didn’t outright ignore him, and Dean managed to draw out a snort of laughter that earned both of them reproachful looks from the front of the room. He breathed easier after that, figuring he was home-free, and he set off for Bobby’s with her after the final bell, looking forward to an easy night ahead of him.

He hadn’t accounted for the school calling Bobby about the cut class… and he really hadn’t counted on Bobby giving a shit.

In hindsight, he should have remembered Lainey’s warning from his first day of school.

Bobby was in the kitchen with the phone to his ear when he and Lainey trudged through the door, but the sound caught his attention, and an angry expression Dean hadn’t often seen, if ever, contorted his face.

“Rufus, I’m gonna have to call you back.”

Lainey sent a sympathetic look in his direction, there and gone so fast Dean thought he might have imagined it, while she slipped past both him and Bobby and started to settle in at the kitchen table. It didn’t take a genius to put together that she had probably been where he was standing before. Not that that made it any easier.

Dean was no stranger to finding himself in trouble; after all, he didn’t do particularly well with authority. At least not outside of his dad, and even that was stretching it. Pissed off teachers were a given wherever he went, and despite his best efforts to live up to the expectations John had for him, he’d been on the receiving end of his dad’s fury more times than he could count.

Not to mention disappointment. Fitchburg still haunted him, and that had been fucking years ago.

Despite all of that, however, and despite the fact that he’d seen Bobby mad plenty… he realized that he wasn’t sure Bobby had ever been this pissed at him before. That realization twisted something in Dean he wasn’t familiar with, something he had trouble naming. It was felt suspiciously like guilt.

The longer Bobby went on, though, the more his natural inclination to hide any of his vulnerability behind anger and bravado flared to life, and he found himself boiling. It was somewhere around 'you just wait until your daddy hears about this' that shit really took a turn.

“Oh, give me a fucking break,” Dean scoffed back. The words had stirred something ugly, a mix of resentment he couldn’t quite explain with irritation at being treated like a fucking five-year-old. “Like my dad gives two shits about me going to school.”

The sentiment hadn’t been thought out, but even if it had been, Dean wouldn’t have calculated just how wrong that choice would go. Bobby went six shades of red, easy.

“Boy, you’ve got another thing coming if you think —”

“It was my fault.”

Dean had forgotten Lainey was even there, bearing witness to his spectacular dressing down. Her small voice, however, startled both him and Bobby into silence, and Dean was grateful when Bobby spun to look at her so that his own surprised expression didn’t betray whatever Lainey was up to.

“Come again?” Bobby questioned. Lainey shifted uncomfortably, hardly daring to look at either of them, but especially not at Dean, as she sat there with her books and notes spread in front of her.

“It was my fault Dean skipped class. You shouldn’t be pissed at him; he was just trying to help me.”

Wherever Lainey was heading with this, it was completely fabricated. Dean hadn’t even bothered to tell Lainey he’d ditched class and used his free hour to dick around at the pizza joint a few blocks from the school with the small bank of arcade games inside. Still, he was careful not to give anything away as Bobby’s eyes jumped between the pair of them, clearly skeptical.

“And what exactly were you helping her with?” Bobby finally asked, his gaze settling on Dean.

Dean found his mouth opening and closing while he tried to grasp at straws. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that?

“I, uh, she —”

But Lainey saved him again. “It’s okay, Dean — ‘s not worth you getting in trouble over. I had another panic attack. I was supposed to go to the nurse, but I went and found Dean instead. Thanks for trying to cover for me. Sorry, Bobby.”

The wind seemed to somewhat fall out of Bobby’s sails at the explanation, and Dean let out a breath of relief when the older hunter turned his attention back to her. Even as he did, though, Dean’s brain began working overtime to make sense of what Lainey had just said.

Panic attack? What did she mean, panic attack? And what the hell did she mean by another?

At the table, Lainey was back to studiously avoiding looking at him, and while Dean suspected part of the nervous energy she was putting off was intentional to sell the story she was spinning, he had a pretty good feeling that at least some of it was real. Because him cutting class to help her was total bullshit, but it sounded like her created excuse was based in some amount of reality… reality that Dean had previously known nothing about.

Bobby still looked between them skeptically, but whatever history he had with Lainey and these panic attacks seemed to make him hesitate. “Is that true?” he ended up asking Dean carefully, and Dean did his best to put on his poker face and nod convincingly.

“Yeah.”

Bobby exhaled heavily and returned his attention to Lainey, his features softening and expression warping into one of concern.

“You okay, kid? I thought you were —”

“I’m fine,” Lainey spoke up quickly, her voice suspiciously higher than usual. “Promise. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“What happened?” he asked, but Lainey made a show of clamming up, shaking her head.

“Nothing. Hey, we were gonna go see Sam’s soccer practice. Do you want us to get dinner on our way back? There’s that Chinese place by the elementary school.”

Dean could tell that Bobby wasn’t satisfied — that he wanted to push and that he probably wasn’t totally sold on Lainey’s version of events, but he let himself get pulled into a conversation with her, figuring out the logistics of dinner after arguing about the school being too far away for her and Dean to walk it. In the end, it was decided that they could go, but only if they called from the payphone at the school when they got there and called to let Bobby know when they were on their way back. And then just before they went to leave, Bobby caught Dean on his own, giving him an intense look.

“Is that really true, what Lainey said? About why you skipped class?”

That time, Dean was sure it was guilt that twisted in his stomach as he swallowed and nodded back at Bobby. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, she just asked me not to say anything. I didn’t think it…” he trailed off when he saw Bobby’s face fall.

“Damn it,” he muttered, though it seemed like it was more to himself than anything else. “Just… keep an eye on her, would ya, son? And tell me if something like that happens again. I thought she was doing better.”

Dean’s brow furrowed, and his curiosity got the better of him. “Bobby, what —”

But Bobby was already shaking his head, clearly not intending to give him any more information than he already had. “Don’t you worry about it. It’s not your job.”

It was as Bobby walked away, leaving him standing there waiting for Lainey, that Dean realized he didn’t particularly give a shit whether it was his job or not. She was his friend, and yeah, people changed, and Dean knew as well as anyone how hard the loss of a parent could hit… but there was more to whatever was up with Lainey than what had happened to Ron. It was time he found out what.

Of course, getting information out of Lainey was easier said than done. As if sensing the mission he’d set out on, as soon as they left the house, she kept up a constant stream of chatter in a way Dean hadn’t known she was still capable of. They were all carefully chosen topics, though, and surface level — something ridiculous one of her teachers did, how stupid the topic was for the research paper they’d been assigned in Social Studies, new lore she’d stumbled across in her lit class that she was planning on looking through Bobby’s personal library to vet out, laughing about a conversation she’d overheard in homeroom between a couple of kids that were creeped out by the ‘haunted house’ on the outskirts of town… and any time a topic started to dry up and Dean opened his mouth to introduce his own, Lainey quickly swooped in with something new.

It was a transparent attempt to distract him, and eventually Dean relented, albeit temporarily, in the hopes that if she thought he’d forgotten, he might be able to catch her off guard.

When they finally made it to the elementary school, Lainey ducked into the phone booth and took care of calling Bobby. Dean hovered outside, still mulling over what had happened back in the kitchen and quietly observing her. Once he’d acquiesced to her attempts at controlling the conversation, the nervous energy she’d been exuding had lessened, but Dean could see she was still on edge… there was a tension in her body that he used to only see on the rare occasion they’d both been taken on a hunt together. It was enough to make him pause and second-guess pushing her for answers… but eventually Dean dismissed it.

Whatever was bothering her, it didn’t seem small, and it didn’t seem like keeping whatever it was to herself was doing her any good.

The sound of the phone hanging up echoed through the still air just before Lainey ducked back out of the booth, a smile that wasn’t quite real but was almost passable plastered across her face. Hands in his pockets, Dean followed her towards the soccer field around the back of the school and let the silence stretch between them for a few moments.

“Y’know, I never really got soccer,” she mused, seeming uncomfortable again with the lull. “I mean, sports in general, I guess aren’t really my thing, but —”

Dean almost felt bad, but he just couldn’t do it anymore. Her ability to just ramble had already been one of his least favorite things about her before… and while he missed the girl she’d been before enough that he’d thought to himself on more than one occasion since getting to Bobby’s that he’d happily suffer through her incessant chattering again if it meant they could be normal, he found he really wasn’t in the fucking mood right now.

The thing she was trying to distract him from was too important, and his curiosity was burning.

“Hey, Laine?”

There must have been something in his tone that caught her attention because she immediately fell silent, and instead of trying to talk over him or move onto something else, she bit her bottom lip and eyed him nervously.

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you do that? With Bobby. Why’d you bail me out?”

She seemed to breathe a little easier, obviously having expected him to jump right to the really hard question instead of that, and she let out a snort of laughter. “Don’t make it a whole thing. I just didn’t wanna have to trek out here by myself, and Bobby was definitely gonna ground your ass.”

It was a reasonable answer, and Dean thought it may have even been the truth. Still, he frowned, thinking for half a beat before shaking his head.

“Yeah, okay, sure. But —”

“C’mon, don’t start with the third degree. I did you a solid. Either drop it, or thank me and move on, because let’s face it, you were screwed.”

Dean let out a frustrated groan and scrubbed a hand down his mouth, glancing in her direction while they continued to walk. Lainey, however, kept her gaze forward.

“Yeah, okay, fine. I was screwed, and you saved me — thanks. But Lainey, what the hell?”

“What the hell, what? You know it was bullshit.”

“Okay, yeah, that little story you spun Bobby about today was bullshit, but there was obviously a history there. Since when do you have panic attacks?”

Dean watched Lainey’s entire body shutter, and she quickly shoved her hands into her pockets, eyes darting towards the ground as they continued forward. It was like watching her turn in on herself, and it did nothing to make him feel better. If anything, it only made his concern grow worse.

“It’s not a big deal, okay?” she mumbled. “I’ve got it under control now, I’m fine.”

The soccer field came into view, and in the distance, Dean could make out a kid he thought might have been Sam. And while normally that would have been enough to pull his focus, the conversation he was trying to have was too big. His hand shot out and grabbed Lainey’s arm, making her stop. She spun around to look at him, eyes blazing, but Dean didn’t rise to meet her this time. He refused to.

“Lainey, what happened with Kyle?”

Hurt flashed across her face, mixing with the anger, and even though she tried to school it out of her expression quickly, Dean still caught it. He also caught the way she couldn’t seem to meet his eyes when she answered.

“It just didn’t work out.”

“Lainey…”

“Just let it go, Dean. Please.”

“Not a chance, Hollings. What happened?”

“Kyle doesn’t have anything to do with the panic attacks. He just — we… I was just… too much. And eventually he decided I’d be better off elsewhere, that’s it. No big dramatic story,” she eventually mumbled, still not meeting his eyes. Dean’s frown deepened. Maybe he wasn’t Kyle’s biggest fan, but even to him, that sounded off.

“Then what —“

But some of the steel he’d gotten used to seeing came back, and Lainey’s face hardened as she finally looked back at him.

“Look, I know life as the kid of a hunter isn’t the most glamorous thing in the world, but let’s just leave it at I’d take that over the system any day. Okay?” And without even giving him a chance to process what she’d said, Lainey yanked her arm away and continued off towards the field.

Dean stared after her for a moment, somewhat dumbfounded as he watched her morph back into the more bubbly persona she tried to put on around Sam. A smile lit up her face when Sam spotted her and waved, her hand quickly shooting up to return the gesture before she pulled her jacket around herself tighter in response to a breeze that swept over the field. There was a group of moms that Lainey strategically placed herself far enough away from that they wouldn’t bother her, but close enough that Dean would have had to be a real jackass to press her to talk more. Realizing defeat, he let out a long sigh and followed after her, all the while turning over different scenarios of what Lainey might have meant with that comment.

They ended up watching the practice in a stilted silence, punctuated by small talk neither of them were particularly interested in, until finally a final whistle blew and Sam came bounding over to them — all smiles and excitement Dean couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt himself. Dean made the phone call to Bobby before the three of them set off back towards the house, quietly observing Lainey and Sam through the glass while he did. She was still tense, but seemed to be slowly easing back into herself.

He didn’t push her again the rest of the night, but he found his questions about that missing year nagging at him anew in the days that followed. It had been easy to attribute the differences in Lainey to grief and the fact that they were getting older, but Dean couldn’t shake the feeling any longer that it was something more than that.

He wasn’t keen to admit it, and he wasn’t sure it was his business, but not knowing definitely bothered him. Not understanding bothered him.

They were supposed to be friends. And whatever happened, he wondered if it was something that could be fixed… if maybe the girl he’d grown up with was still under all the angry looks and fuck the world attitude Lainey had been using to shield herself.

Part of him still hoped she was.

Chapter Text

“Watch out!”

It was coming up on dinner time as Dean made his way down the road towards Bobby’s house, and at the sound of a man shouting, he quickly ducked, just in time for a tall bookcase to topple over into the space his body had just been occupying. His eyes darted around before landing on a pair of movers hovering by the side of the truck that was still being unloaded, one of which shot him a sheepish look.

“Sorry, kid. You okay?”

Any other day, Dean probably would’ve been pissed. Probably would have shouted something non-forgiving back… maybe even flipped the dude off. It had been, however, by all accounts, a good day, and Dean was flying high. Not even almost being crushed under a piece of furniture by some dumbass that couldn’t be bothered to pay attention was going to bring him down.

“All good!” he shouted back, throwing a hand up in a wave of acknowledgement as he kept on moving without slowing down much. Bobby’s house loomed ahead, the next one on the road, and Dean smiled. His stomach was starting to rumble, and Bobby had promised a pot roast — something he could cook surprisingly well — for dinner.

By the time he slipped through the back door, Bobby bustling around the kitchen, Lainey was sitting with Sam at the desk, looking like she was helping the kid with homework, and the entire house smelled amazing. His stomach gave a particularly loud growl that was covered up by the door closing, but he still drew looks from all three of them and threw up a hand in greeting. Sam smiled and waved before turning back to what he’d been doing before. Lainey seemed wary for a moment but ultimately sent him a soft smile too, nodding, before shifting her focus too. Bobby jerked in the direction of the bathroom.

“Go wash up, and finish setting the table. Dinner’ll be ready in a few.”

He dropped his backpack by the couch in the study and went to go wash his hands. It was as he was pulling plates out of the cabinet that Lainey came up behind him, quietly grabbing glasses from the shelf above the plates. There was part of him that wanted to laugh at her when he noticed she had to go up on her toes to reach, but he refrained, realizing she was helping him. The fact that she was being civil in and of itself felt like a gift considering where he’d been, and he wasn’t interested in pushing his luck.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. Lainey nodded, and Dean caught the way she bit her bottom lip, looking at the counter rather than him, even as she hummed in acknowledgment.

“Did you have a good time?” she finally got out, and Dean’s jaw just about dropped. In asking the question, though, she forced herself to meet his eye, and so he tried not to let his surprise show.

“Uh, yeah,” he managed, nodding quickly. “Uh, thanks.”

Lainey hummed again, and Dean could see the conflict playing out through her face despite her attempts to mask it - years of knowing her giving him insight most wouldn’t have.

“Yeah, sure,” she tried to dismiss, and as if afraid he’d push the conversation further, she darted towards the table and began setting down the glasses. Dean watched for a moment, stunned, before following suit and trailing behind her.

Dean’s good luck continued as the night progressed — dinner was everything he’d been hoping for, Bobby’s anger from the day before seemed to have dissipated entirely, Sam was in good spirits, and even Lainey maintained her tentative friendliness. His dad even called that night, which, while Dean still wasn’t happy about him and Sam being left behind, it had brightened Sam’s already good mood, leaving Dean able to hang up with the old man, happy to have heard from him instead of being crushed by his own bitter thoughts.

Of course, that didn’t mean he and Lainey didn’t end up still having their typical late-night conversation that followed these calls. He’d just finished showering and brushing his teeth when he opened the bathroom door and almost ran straight into her. She was already dressed in pajamas — a pair of red plaid pajama bottoms and a black Ramones t-shirt he was sure he’d seen about a thousand times on her — and they both jumped in surprise at the near collision.

“Sorry,” she quickly mumbled. “I was just, uh —”

Dean shook his head, brushing off the apology and moving out of the doorway, gesturing to the now open room.

“All yours. ‘Night, Laine.”

“Hey Dean?” He’d made it halfway down the hall to the room he was sharing with Sam before she called after him. At the sound of her voice, he turned on the spot, finding her standing in the doorframe, her hand hovering over the handle.

“Yeah?” he asked, eyebrows raised. There was a nervousness there, like she was unsure of herself, that reminded him of earlier, and it piqued Dean’s curiosity.

“I just… you know what? Never mind, sorry.”

Lainey didn’t shy away from what was on her mind, especially not this new, edgy version he’d been dealing with the last couple of weeks. At least not unless she was the one being called to the carpet or being asked questions. Dean felt his curiosity turn to concern, and he frowned, backtracking towards her.

“Hey, no, c’mon. It’s just me, what’s up?”

“It’s stupid,” she mumbled, her cheeks flushing red and eyes fixed pointedly on the door handle instead of him. “I just, uh, I just wanted to check in and make sure you were alright. I know sometimes…”

She trailed off again, but Dean didn’t need her to finish to understand where she was going with it. He tilted his head, eyes fixed on her as he padded even closer, stopping only a couple feet away. There was an instinct he almost acted on to reach out and pull her in for a hug… that she was worried about him tugged at some heartstring he hadn’t expected. But he held back… it seemed like a silly thing to do. Instead, he smiled gently at her, ducking his head to try and catch her attention.

“It’s not stupid,” he said when she finally looked at him. “I, uh… I’m fine. But I appreciate it.”

She seemed to ease up a little bit at that, her own soft smile slipping onto her face as she leaned back against the door frame. For a moment, they both stood there, neither of them seeming to want to cut the conversation off, but neither of them knowing exactly what to say. It was finally Lainey who broke the silence, chewing on her lip and giving a weird little shrug Dean didn’t know what to make of.

“So, you said it was a good night with Maddie?”

It had been a good night. She’d invited him over after school, under the guise of studying, even though they both knew it was bullshit. He’d been pleasantly surprised to find out her parents wouldn’t be home for hours, and even happier when she took it upon herself to take full advantage of the privacy and promise of so much uninterrupted time. Dean guessed from how skilled she’d been with her hand that it hadn’t been her first time venturing into such territory, but it had been his — something he kept to himself — and it had been awesome.

Still, he knew Maddie was a sensitive topic with Lainey, and even if it hadn’t been Maddie… he wasn’t sure if he and Lainey had that kind of friendship. She’d never talked to him about guys before… though as Dean stood there and thought about it, he realized Lainey hadn’t talked to him about anyone before… hadn’t even mentioned a friend.

Before he could actually say anything, though, she was snorting, drawing him back to reality, and he quirked an eyebrow. Lainey shook her head. “Never mind. I can already tell from that dopey fucking smile on your face that it was. Just be careful, she gets around. Don’t wanna pick anything up.”

Dean opened his mouth to say something — what he wasn’t sure — but Lainey started to move, standing up straighter and going towards the bathroom again. Instinctively, his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her. She turned, giving him that look over her shoulder, eyebrows raised, begging the question 'what' without actually saying anything. He felt his heart beat a little faster.

“Hey, we’re good, right? I — I know — I don’t want to — Lainey —”

Something about his stuttering seemed to soften the slight edge that had reared its head again, and her smile came back. She shifted her arm, grabbing his hand and squeezing gently.

“We’re good,” she promised. Then she released his hand and made for the door again. It was just about shut when Dean called back out.

“Hey, Laine?” She cracked it back open, her face appearing in the space between the solid wood and the door jam, curious. “Thanks,” he told her, hoping his sincerity came through. “For asking, I mean, about my dad and about Maddie… I know you’re not Maddie’s biggest fan. I didn’t expect —”

“We’re friends,” she dismissed, genuine even if she sounded a little sad. “That’s what friends do. G’night, Dean.”

That time, he didn’t stop her, and the door shut with a dull thud. Dean took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, turning around for a second time and heading towards his room. His mind was still whirring as he settled back against the pillows, but sleep came easily anyway, and he woke up the next morning feeling rested and ready to tackle whatever was coming his way.

He wasn’t totally sure when it had happened, but somewhere over the last two weeks, Dean had started to settle into his and Sam’s situation at Bobby’s. It hadn’t been intentional — Dean had learned very early on to never get too comfortable anywhere — but, nonetheless, here he was. His classes, although typical, crappy, high school classes, had become routine, and with Maddie and Lainey separately showing up in a handful of them, he at least had entertainment to get him through. Thanks to Maddie and Lainey, Dean also found himself with a social life that exceeded his normal expectations but wasn’t so much that it had become annoying. Between his lunches with Lainey and sneaking off with Maddie, he often had a hard time deciding what the highlight of his day was. And outside of school? It was probably the happiest Dean had seen Sam, which would have been more than enough on its own, and with Bobby around, Dean had the rare opportunity to breathe a little easier than he normally did.

There was no worrying about stretching their last couple of dollars to put food on the table, or trying to come up with creative solutions to problems that arose when their dad’s absence dragged out longer than expected. He wasn’t sure he’d ever not worry about how safe they were, but at Bobby’s, it was possible to ease up a bit. The place was warded nine ways to Sunday, and even though Dean would never see it as anything but his responsibility to take care of Sam, the reality was that he knew Bobby did too, and there was something to be said for sharing the burden — at least in some capacity.

It was mid-morning towards the end of the week when this newfound peace of his was thrown back into jeopardy, the footing he’d been finding upending in a way he hadn’t expected.

“Your jacket has a tear in it,” a familiar voice said from just behind him. Dean nearly jumped and turned his head just in time to see Lainey fall in step next to him, hands shoved in her pockets and eyes set dead ahead as if this were normal and she’d been there the whole time. “Just at the bottom, but it’ll get worse if you leave it.”

“Uh, yeah,” Dean stumbled out, struggling for a second to recover from the surprise. Outside of lunch and their class together, he generally didn’t see hide nor hair of Lainey during school hours, and he’d looked. “I know. Don’t have another one though.”

“I can fix it for you,” she offered with a certain amount of gruffness. “I’ve gotten pretty good at it.”

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise — sewing didn’t exactly strike him as a hobby someone like Lainey would have just picked up — but he supposed it made some sense. She’d been raised on thrift store finds and army surplus stores same as he and Sam had, and he doubted her time in the foster care system had yielded her better options.

“You don’t have to do that,” he told her, but Lainey shrugged, a bit of color blooming in her cheeks.

“It’s no big deal. You helped me clean all those guns last weekend, didn’t you?”

He had, but he hadn't thought anything of it. Before he could formulate a response, though, his classroom swam into view, and he instinctively slowed up, ultimately coming to a stop a few feet away from the door, knowing Lainey would have to continue on to wherever it was she was heading. She looked uncharacteristically nervous, and he smiled, giving a nod as he did.

"Yeah, okay. Thanks, Laine. Hey, you doing anything later? I was thinking of —"

He was mid-sentence when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind, and a warm body pressed up against his back. Surprise stopped him from finishing his thought, but it didn't take long for his brain to catch up, especially when a familiar voice sounded in his ear, warm breath tickling the back of his neck.

"Hi, handsome."

Dean spun instinctively, smiling when he found Maddie looking up at him with a certain spark in her eye. He wasn't used to someone being so happy just to see him, but he couldn't say it was a feeling he totally hated. Not that he'd tell her that.

"Hey, Mad," he greeted.

For just a moment, he forgot their audience, and when she went up on her toes, one of her hands at the back of his neck as she pulled him in for a short kiss, he reciprocated without hesitating. He hadn't realized they'd hit this point, where open PDA was acceptable, but Dean wasn't about to kick up a fuss. Far be it for him to stop a pretty girl from kissing him if she wanted to.

Maddie didn't seem to notice Lainey standing there either until she dropped back down to stand flat on her feet, breaking off the kiss but leaving one of her arms around Dean's waist. She blinked in surprise but then smiled quickly enough.

"Oh, hey," she said. "Didn't realize I was interrupting something."

Dean shifted uncomfortably, a nervousness taking hold he didn't want to acknowledge as he turned his gaze back to Lainey. What he saw didn't make him feel any better — her entire expression had shuttered, her posture stiff in a way it hadn't been a minute before, even as she smiled back.

"Hirsch," Lainey acknowledged, her voice not unfriendly, but Dean knew her well enough to sense the tension and realize exactly how fake the smile was.

Both girls stood there a moment, seeming to size each other up, and Dean felt caught, not wholly sure what to do with himself. It was quick, but he noticed the way Maddie's eyes swept over Lainey from top to bottom, just like he noticed the way Lainey's jaw had tightened, along with the grip she had on the strap of her messenger bag.

"Nice shirt," Maddie commented, and Lainey's jaw twitched almost imperceptibly. Dean felt like he was missing something — the shirt Lainey was wearing was one he appreciated, but didn't seem like anything Maddie would have been caught dead in. Black, with a faded graphic advertising Queen's '74 tour, form-fitting in a way that flattered her yet not revealing, and a plaid flannel hanging open and thrown over top of it.

"Thanks," Lainey replied tightly, her eyes already moving back to Dean. "I'll catch up with you later."

He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could even say 'bye,' she was weaving through the throng of students still crowding the hallway, blending into the masses. Dean was still staring after her when Maddie, still tucked into his side, made a noise that pulled his attention.

"God, that girl's such a freak. What was she bothering you about?"

Dean felt like he'd been doused with a bucket of ice water, his whole body stiffening while his mind tried to catch up to what his ears had just heard.

"What did you just say?" he asked. The surprise was clear in his voice, but there was a hint of danger in it that Maddie didn't seem to pick up on. She just rolled her eyes and adjusted her own bag.

"I said that girl's such a freak. She showed up here, out of nowhere, and lives with that old drunk that has the salvage yard on the outside of town. Like, where are her parents? Maybe if she had some, her mom could have told her no one's into goth chicks or whatever bullshit it is she's wrapped up in. And she had these… episodes the first few weeks, where she'd just start freaking out like a mental patient or something — would get all wide-eyed and not be able to breathe and dart out of class, flinch if people got too close. She's gotten a little better — haven't seen her do that in a while, and when she first got here, she had this fugly red hair, so at least she did something about that. But still hasn't seemed to be able to find any kind of fashion sense, and she's got no friends, though that's not exactly a shocker…"

Maddie trailed off, seeming to finally realize something was wrong. She looked up at him, tilting her head curiously, just as Dean's body finally caught up and he pulled his arm back, suddenly wanting her as far away from him as possible, and stepping away. The pieces were rapidly clicking into place now — why Lainey had such an issue with Maddie, why she was so closed off and angry all the time, why she'd dyed her damn hair…

All he could see was red, and he looked at Maddie coldly, simultaneously feeling the sickest he could ever remember as he thought about the past few weeks, and like the biggest fucking idiot in the world.

"Lainey's my best friend," he told her shortly, "and that 'old drunk' she lives with is a family friend that took her in because her parents died. He's one of the best people I know."

Maddie blinked back, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Oh," she finally said, her voice flat. "I didn't realize… seriously? Lainey Hollings is your best friend? Why?"

The way she said Lainey's name, with nothing but disgust, like it was a dirty word, made his blood boil somehow even more than it already was. It was with a great amount of effort that he started to walk away — not in the direction of their classroom, but in the direction Lainey had gone — not sure where he was going but just knowing he needed to get away before he did or said something he'd regret.

"Dean, wait! Where are you going?"

Her hand darted out, fingers wrapping around his arm just above his wrist. He recoiled violently, as if she'd burned him, and whipped back around. His emotions must have bled into his expression because for the fraction of a second she looked scared and Dean couldn't help but think good.

"Stay the hell away from me. We're done here."

He didn't listen to whatever she called out after him, didn't even bother to slow down or think about where he was going. Space was the only thing he could think about in that moment. Everything was spinning, and he just needed to get somewhere he could breathe. Eventually, he found himself out on the bleachers, not exactly hidden but far enough away that no one was likely to spot him or pay him any mind.

He was so stupid, should have realized it sooner. Lainey had never been jealous. She hadn't been bent out of shape because she was into him like that. She'd have probably had the same reaction if he'd just made friends with Maddie, instead of hooking up with her… a thought that had already turned from pleasant to stomach-churning.

He didn't know exactly what had happened, but it wasn't hard to guess. Maybe he and Sam never stayed anywhere long enough to settle, but he still knew how mean kids could be, especially girls. Whatever Maddie, and probably her friends, had done and said to Lainey had been enough to make Lainey — confident, unapologetic, badass, take-shit-from-no-one Lainey — feel like she needed to change herself. There was no other reason she'd have dyed her hair.

Dean had the sickening realization that it probably explained some of her other behavior that had had him scratching his head… why she'd gone from a ball of chaotic energy to a loner that never let her guard down and was liable to lash out at the smallest provocation… why she seemed to make an effort to be invisible… why he could never find her unless she wanted to be found… why she'd gone from being as big a nerd as Sam to openly admitting to cutting classes… why she sat at the back of the class…Why she'd only been willing to approach him at lunch, when no one else was around to take notice. Why she, prior to today, hadn't talked to him in the halls and bailed on him as soon as they were through the front door in the mornings.

Fuck, he should have figured out what the fuck was going on sooner.

Dean didn't make it to any of his remaining classes that morning. He wanted to go find Lainey, and thought about trying, but realized that he had no clue where to start. It was part of the problem, how fucking mysterious she'd been. He had no idea what her schedule was or how to track her down, outside of the times their schedule aligned in a way that forced them into closer proximity.

So he waited, biding his time until their lunch period… partially wondering if she'd even show up, and mostly letting his thoughts continue to churn and spiral.

Initially, he'd been horrified, and even as time dragged on, he still was. But gradually, other things started to eat at him too.

Why the fuck hadn't she just told him what was going on? They were supposed to be friends; why would she have hidden something like this from him? Why would she have let him get involved with someone like Maddie? The bullshit, cryptic warnings she had given didn't fucking count, not in his book.

Did she think that little of him, of their relationship, that she thought he'd have still picked some chick with a pretty face and nice tits over her?

And why the fuck did she let the bullying happen in the first place? Lainey was one of the strongest people he knew. He'd never seen her sit back and take crap from anyone. If she'd wanted to, he had no doubt she could have put any of the other kids in her class in their place. She was a force of fucking nature, and he'd seen her deal with bullies before.

By the time lunch rolled around, he was wound tighter than ever, barely keeping from snapping, and his abject horror and guilt had mixed with confusion and outright anger. He was pacing by their usual spot when Lainey approached, unable to keep still, and she seemed to clock right away that something was amiss.

"What's eating you?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. There were two foil-wrapped burgers in her hands, just like always, but Dean was too keyed up to be distracted even by food. His eyes did catch on her hair, though — that fucking mousy brown that had none of the character or vibrancy or her normal hair — and he felt a fresh surge of anger.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" he demanded.

Lainey stared back as if he had two heads while putting the burgers on the table, though he noticed she didn't let go of the bag still slung over her shoulder.

"Tell you what?" she asked. Her voice was that perfect mix of wariness and exasperation she seemed to have perfected lately.

"About Maddie, Laine," he bit back. Her eyebrows shot up incredulously just before her face darkened dangerously.

"Excuse me? You're fucking kidding me, right? Dean, I've done nothing but warn you off her from day one. What happened? Let me guess, she hook up with someone else? Or did she —"

"Bullshit!" he exclaimed, cutting her off, though guilt churned in his gut, a voice nagging in the back of his head that there was more truth in her words than he wanted to acknowledge. "You didn't warn me, you just bitched about her! You sure as hell didn't tell me how she treated you!"

He watched realization flicker over Lainey's face, followed by a flash of vulnerability she was usually careful to keep tucked away, quickly masked with anger.

"The fuck would you know about how she 'treated' me?" she growled, her nostrils flaring. Dean felt his own anger continuing to rise, and narrowed her eyes. Why did she always have to be so fucking stubborn?

"I'm not fucking dumb, Lainey —"

"Could have fooled me."

Dean glared but continued on as if she hadn't spoken. "I might not have all the specifics, but I know enough. And I can guess Maddie's the reason you fucked up your hair."

"Oh, fuck you, Dean! I didn't dye my hair for Maddie fucking Hirsch, I just wanted a change!"

But the way she exploded, Dean knew he'd hit the nail on the head.

"I don't get it!" he stormed instead of continuing to argue the point. "Why wouldn't you tell me? I mean, me? Did you really think I wouldn't have your back? Or that I'd still wanna hang around that piece of trash? Did you think what she has to say would change how I feel about you? I mean, what the fuck, Lainey? You've been my best friend since we were seven!"

"So what? Why does that mean I should have told you, huh? What, so you could feel bad for me? Or maybe so —"

"Jesus Christ, Lainey! Are you serious? Of course, that's not why! You should have told me because that's what friends do! Because I would have had your back!"

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me!" she screamed back, and Dean could tell she wasn't done, but he didn't care. He was too consumed by the fresh surge of anger that had washed over him.

"You're right, Lainey, you don't! You have never needed anyone to fight your battles! You could lay that girl out without so much as breaking a freaking sweat, and in all the time I've known you, I have yet to see anyone verbally go up against you and win. So why the hell haven't you done anything about it? Why are you just… fucking hiding away instead?"

Something had shifted in her expression, a new type of distress that Dean wasn't as used to seeing on her face. It might have given him pause… if it hadn't immediately twisted him up with renewed anger.

"That's what you think I'm doing? Hiding?"

"I don't know, Laine, you tell me! Because that's sure as hell what it looks like to me!"

That seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back, and Dean could practically see her snap.

"You fucking asshole!" she cried, shoving him — though not with enough force to actually move or hurt him. "You don't get it! You think I like holding back? You think I'm happy with the way things are here or what my life is now? That I'm holding back because I want to, or I'm afraid? I'm trying to fucking survive! It's not the same here for me as it is for you! You and Sam, yeah, you're here right now, but in a couple of weeks? A month, tops? Your dad'll be back, and you guys get to leave, move on to another school, and nothing that happened here will fucking matter. But it's not like that for me anymore! This is my life now! I have to see these kids, every fucking day for the next three years! I can't afford to be the freak that solves all my problems with my fists, or go off unfiltered the way I used to, because that shit will stick with me now! So yeah! I keep to myself because it's not worth the fight here, and I'm just trying to get through the days as painlessly as possible until I can get the fuck out of here. So how about you do me a fucking favor, and spare me the judgment, because I don't need it! Least of all from you!"

It was more than just her words that stunned him into silence. It was the way her voice had broken… the way tears had gathered in her eyes, even if she didn't let them actually spill over… the way her grip had tightened so much on the strap of her bag that her knuckles had gone white… the way she'd gone shrill with pain just as much, maybe even more, than anger.

Dean wasn't surprised when she stormed off. Part of him wanted to call after her, but the larger part of him was too shocked and had no idea what to even say. She was almost nothing more than a dot by the time he came back to himself, the reality of what had just happened finally catching up with him. He took a deep breath and ran a hand down his mouth, sinking onto the bench seat, his back to the picnic table, trying to process it all.

His mind was still reeling when the bell signaling the end of lunch rang out, and mindlessly, as if on autopilot, Dean found himself heading to his next class. In fact, most of his afternoon passed by in a daze, with Dean barely registering where he was or what was going on around him. Lainey's words kept circling in his head, not just from their fight at lunch but from the last few weeks, mixing with the venom Maddie had spewed earlier in the hallway, and that sick feeling stayed with him.

When Lainey was conspicuously absent from their afternoon class together, though, the feeling worsened and the pit in his stomach grew.

He'd still been pissed — even the uncharacteristic eruption of emotion she'd let him see hadn't managed to immediately beat that part of what he was feeling away — but as the hours ticked by, the anger faded. Remorse slowly took its place.

Remorse for blowing up at her.

Remorse for not catching on sooner.

Remorse for not listening to what she had said about Maddie.

Remorse for not realizing how totally her life had shifted beyond the obvious.

There was still some lingering hurt, too, that she hadn't let him in or trusted him enough to lean on him, but when he got home to a house empty of anyone but Bobby, the conversation that followed started to put that into a new perspective, too.

"Heard you and Lainey got into it," he said simply, setting a soda on the kitchen table and sliding it across the way. When it came to a stop in front of Dean, Bobby nodded for him to take a seat. Years with his dad had conditioned him to comply, but he hardly registered he was even doing it, his eyes fixated on Bobby.

It wasn't usually his style to get involved in any of the personal drama between the three of them. Sure, he'd stepped in, especially when they were younger, to mediate particularly bad disputes or set them all straight when they needed it, but for the most part, Bobby had always leaned towards giving them their space to work out their own relationships.

"She okay?" Dean asked, his concern overriding his own hurt feelings. "She didn't —"

"She's fine," Bobby assured him gruffly. "Said she was going to the library."

Somehow, Dean doubted that, and he gathered Bobby did too from the way he said it, but it didn't seem worth pointing out.

"I, uh… I didn't mean to go off on her the way I did. I just…"

"Let that hot head of yours get the better of you," he finished succinctly, and after a beat, Dean conceded with a nod. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

He didn't, not really, but the part of him that was still trying to make sense of it all argued for him to speak up.

"What'd she tell you?" he tried to ask as a gauge, but Bobby's face was unimpressed, and he sighed. "It was nothing, Bobby. We'll work it out."

"I'm sure you will," he said in a tone that made it clear the conversation wasn't over, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the kitchen counter, his eyes never leaving Dean the whole time. "But humor me."

Dean wasn't sure what to say without potentially giving away information he had a feeling Lainey would rather keep to herself, if their own argument and his own being left in the dark was any indication. But it wasn't a request, and Dean sighed, trying to think of an explanation.

"I just… one of the girls at school said something to me about Lainey today, and I kind of lost it. I didn't realize… I figured she wasn't having the easiest time; she's had a rough year, but I didn't… she didn't tell me…"

He trailed off, feeling like he'd already given too much away, but understanding dawned on Bobby's face, and he softened incrementally.

"Yeah," Bobby admitted. "Girl's been through the ringer, that's for sure. She's doing better now than when she first got here, but…"

"I miss her," Dean said before he could think better of it. To his surprise, Bobby nodded.

"Me too, son."

Dean sighed, casting his eyes around before letting his attention go back to Bobby. "I don't know how to help."

It was then that Bobby's expression became somewhat stern again, and he stood back up straight, pushing away from the counter.

"Yes, you do," he argued. "Told you when you and your brother got here — she needs a friend. Next time, have some patience instead of sounding off on her."

Without waiting for Dean to reply, Bobby started to leave the room, grunting something about Dean needing to do his homework on his way by. Bobby's words rang in his ears, though, bouncing around with the rest of the day's soundbites.

The hours ticked by slowly, each one that Lainey didn't come home eating at Dean in a way he didn't expect, and he was more than happy to call it an early night when Sam started complaining about how tired he was. Even though he wasn't all that sure the next day was going to be any better.

Dean was at least able to breathe a sigh of relief when he found Lainey was back the next morning, not that he'd really had any doubt she would be. There was an awkward moment when he nearly ran into her in the kitchen. Sam was still asleep upstairs, and Bobby was already outside, working on something, leaving them on their own. Given how they'd left things, he expected an icy reception and braced for it. Instead, Lainey stiffened, seeming nervous, which made his head spin. She jumped back from him, surprised, her hands slipping into her back pockets as she fidgeted, toeing at the ground. Heat rose in her cheeks, and she gave him a shy look he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before.

"Morning," she whispered. Dean blinked back, suddenly wondering if he'd imagined yesterday.

"Morning," he returned. "You, uh… you sleep okay?"

It was a lame question, one he wasn't sure why he asked. Lainey's cheeks flamed an even deeper red, but she nodded, looking anywhere but him.

"Uh, yeah, thanks… there's still some coffee in the pot," she mumbled. Then, before he could say anything, she brushed past him, hurrying back upstairs, presumably to finish getting ready. Dean shook his head, wondering what the hell he was supposed to make of that, and went for the offered coffee.

When they got to school, she went to disappear on him the way she used to, but instinctively, Dean reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling her back. Her head whipped around, surprised, almost scared, eyes darting every which way before finally landing on him.

"Dean, what are you —"

"Why are you trying to ditch me?"

Her eyes went downcast again. "I wasn't trying to… I just thought… after yesterday… didn't think —"

"Hey," he cut her off firmly, calling her eyes back onto his, and making sure not to look away once he had her attention. "I'm sorry about yesterday, okay? I shouldn't have gone off on you like that."

She somehow managed to look even more surprised. "Oh, it — it.. it's fine. I, uh —"

"It's not fine. None of it's fine."

Lainey shrugged. "It is what it is. We're good, you don't need to apologize. I'm… I'm sorry too."

He hadn't been expecting that, didn't think he was even owed any sort of apology. He nodded, though, releasing her hand. "Alright. So then why are you trying to ditch me?"

This time, when her eyes went back to the floor, she shifted uncomfortably on her feet, her hand scratching at the back of her neck. "I just didn't think… you don't wanna… just trust me, you're better off —"

It clicked then, all over again, and confirmed with startling clarity what he'd started to guess at before. He had to work to push down the flare of anger it ignited.

"So help me, Laine, if you spout any bullshit about how I'd be better off without you, or not wanting to 'pull me down' or whatever other self-loathing crap you got rattling around in that head of yours, I'm gonna fucking lose it. You're my best friend. You. Not Maddie. Not her stupid friends. Not any of the other jackasses here. I don't care about them, I care about you, that's it. So you're not ditching me anymore —"

"I haven't been ditchin—"

"Great," he interrupted. "Then I don't know about you, but I need more coffee if I'm gonna get through another day in this shithole. What do you say?"

She sighed, biting her lip, her eyes still darting around. But when they settled back on his face, she seemed to realize he wasn't going to give in, and she gave a reluctant nod.

"Fine," she relented. "But only because I need the caffeine."

"Yeah, okay."

Yesterday, though, had obviously rattled her, and even though she went through the motions of what had become their normal mornings together, Dean could tell she was tense the whole time. Jittery in a way that couldn't be blamed on the coffee.

When they said goodbye, preparing to head to their own homerooms, an idea struck, and Dean rerouted for the office instead of the classroom he was due in on the east wing of the first floor. It wasn't easy — his attempts at charming the receptionist, or whatever she was, failed miserably, and he had to cause a distraction to get her away from her computer, but before first-period, he was able to slip out of the office with a copy of Lainey Hollings' schedule in his hand.

He was done with letting everything be on her terms. Done letting her think hiding away was doing him any fucking favors. And Bobby's words were still ringing in his ears. She needed a friend, he'd said, and maybe Dean didn't have a lot of practice at being one, but for Lainey, he could do better at reminding her she had one.

The stunned look on her face when she came out of her first period class was almost comical, but Dean stood waiting for her, hands in his pockets, as the mass of students moved around him.

"What are you — how did you — why are you here?" she asked skeptically, slowly coming closer.

"Looking for you," he shrugged. "Did you know your second-period class is only a few doors down from mine? I mean, obviously, you knew, since you already looked at my schedule. Figured we could walk over together."

She looked immensely uncomfortable and shouldered past him with a roll of her eyes and muttering something under her breath, he couldn't quite catch. Dean wasn't deterred, though, and fell into step with her anyway.

"I don't need a guard dog," she finally snapped after about thirty seconds, agitated.

"I know you don't," he agreed easily. "That's not what this is, so chill out."

"You haven't come and found me to walk me to class any other day," she pointed out, and Dean gave her a pointed look.

"Yeah, well, who's fault is that? You've been acting like you can't be bothered with me since I got here —"

"Who says I was acting?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Not falling for it anymore, Laine, so get over it."

Her classroom loomed into view, and Dean spotted none other than Maddie standing a few feet away from the door, with a group of other girls — obviously her friends — and next to him, Lainey flinched, coming almost to a complete halt.

"Dean," she started, raw pain in her voice that cut like a knife, "can't you just leave it alone? I'm fine, okay? I don't need your pity, or… whatever this is. Things were fine the way they were, and you don't want your name linked with mine, trust me."

"No can do," he said simply. "Things were not fine, they were crap. This isn't pity, this is me wanting my friend back, really back, so deal. I'm not gonna leave it alone, and I don't give a shit what people say. Anyone has a problem with me hanging out with you, they're not my kind of people. That clear enough for you?"

She gave him a suffering look, but Dean didn't back down, and she let out a long sigh.

"Whatever," she finally muttered. "I have to get to class."

Dean watched as she adjusted the bag on her shoulder and turned, heading for the door. He knew she'd probably be annoyed, but he couldn't resist, and as she was passing by Maddie and her friends, he called out.

"See you later, Laine!"

Maddie looked up, but Dean ignored her, more focused on Lainey. She visibly tensed, and he almost expected her to flip him off, but instead she waved a dismissive hand and just kept on walking. Dean waited for her to pass through the doorway before turning and heading towards his own class, pointedly ignoring Maddie, even as he could feel her eyes following him when he walked by.

It still made him feel sick when he thought of how close he'd let her get, and he had a feeling that discomfort would be sticking with him for a while.

He made sure he was back outside Lainey's classroom for her to walk out of her first-period class, too, just like he had at the end of homeroom. It earned him another eye roll, but this time, she at least just fell into step with him.

"Seriously?" she asked, her voice betraying her explanation. Dean only smiled.

"Seriously."

She shook her head. "You're impossible."

His grin widened. "You'd know something about that."

The ghost of a smile pulled at her lips, even though he could tell she was trying to suppress it. She didn't argue with him any further, at least, and Dean was willing to take that as a win.

His lit class, however, was significantly less successful, and he found himself reflecting that skipping probably would have been worth the earful from Bobby. He got there late, which left the only seat available, the one he usually took near Maddie, and already had it off to a bad start. It only went downhill when they got split into pairs to do an in-class assignment, and they ended up grouped together.

Maddie turned to him as everyone started moving around, pulling out things they needed and shifting seats and desks closer to make it easier to work together. Dean looked back coldly, wishing he were just about anywhere else. She seemed maybe a little nervous, which he found oddly satisfying, though the glimmer of hope on her face he could have done without.

"So…" she started, trailing off, clearly hoping he'd jump in with something. When he didn't, she sighed. "Are you really still mad at me about yesterday? I'm sorry, alright? I didn't know Lainey Hollings was a friend of yours."

Dean arched an eyebrow. "What's that matter? Doesn't change anything."

Maddie frowned. "Well, if I'd known, I wouldn't have said anything." When he was still stony-faced, her own expression fell further, and he started to get the feeling she'd never been rejected before. "Dean, c'mon, we had a good thing going. Are you really gonna let her get in the way of it?"

It was the wrong thing to say, and Dean found his jaw clenching. When she reached out and touched his leg under the desk, his eyes narrowed, and he pushed back his chair automatically.

"We don't have shit," he said lowly so that only she could hear, but taking care to enunciate each word, leaving no room for misunderstanding. "And it's not on Lainey. Hanging out with trash like you just turns my stomach." He paused, reaching down to grab his bag. "In fact, I think I'm feeling pretty sick right about now. Better go get it checked out."

Without waiting for a reply, he got out of his seat, heading for the door. The teacher looked up, calling out after him. He barely slowed down, spouting something off about the nurse, and ducked into the hallway, letting his feet carry him away on autopilot. He made a mental note that for whatever time he lad left in this place, he should probably start trying and make it to his lit and biology classes early if he didn't want a repeat of what had just happened, if he wasn't going to skip all together, then ducked down another hallway when he saw a teacher coming out of one of the offices.

Eventually, he did stop by the nurse, to kill time more than anything, figuring it wouldn't hurt to keep Bobby off his back, but he was predictably cut loose almost immediately since nothing was actually wrong with him. That was how he found himself hovering outside of Lainey's class a full five minutes before the bell rang, the last one before their lunch, sodas already procured from the vending machine. It was a good thing, too, because she slipped out into the hall only about two minutes later, nearly jumping in surprise when she saw him standing there, brow furrowing.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, and Dean snorted.

"I thought we already went over this. What are you doing? Trying to sneak out of class early just to avoid me?"

Lainey rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. I do this every day."

Then she started walking, and Dean, not about to be left behind, hurried after her, his own confusion setting in.

"What do you mean, you do this every day?"

Lainey gave him a wary look, even as they walked, and chewed on her lip, as if deciding whether or not she wanted to actually answer him. Finally, she sighed, pushing the door open to the stairwell and holding it for him.

"It's nothing. I just didn't think I'd see you until I got outside, that's all." Dean was still confused, but Lainey pushed on. "Why were you waiting for me so early? Everything okay?"

He winced involuntarily, not really wanting to tell her what had happened that prompted him to bail on class, but she caught it right away, her eyebrows raising.

"Yeah, everything's —"

"Dean," she interjected, and he sighed, running a hand down his mouth.

"Lost my temper, that's all. Needed to take a breather. I'm good, nothing happened." She seemed skeptical but didn't push, and suddenly, he was following her down one of the smaller hallways he hadn't been down before. "Where are we going?" he finally asked, realizing she wasn't leading him towards their usual table. Heat bloomed across Lainey's cheeks, catching him by surprise.

"Nowhere," she mumbled, "just grabbing lunch."

But they weren't heading towards the cafeteria, and they weren't heading towards the table they ate at every day, either. "I think you're going the wrong way," he pointed out. It earned him another eye roll.

"Need food, dumbass," she muttered, though there was no actual heat behind it. Then she was pushing through a door Dean was fairly certain students weren't supposed to use, and leading him down a narrow hallway. His eyes darted around, trying to figure out where they were, but just as he opened his mouth to finally ask, sounds started to fill his ears — what sounded like something hitting a grill, water running, plates clattering — and they rounded a corner to reveal a large, industrial kitchen. They were clearly at the back of it, because, further away, Dean could just make out through large archways the counters food was served from and the line of students passing in front of them.

Most of the staff seemed to be stationed at those counters, bustling around serving food, moving trays around between the larger area he and Lainey were standing in and the spaces visible from the actual cafeteria. There was a woman, though, wearing the same uniform as the others and a hair net, standing nearby, switching between running the grill and packaging food — burgers, he realized, and the pieces started to come together. Especially when the woman looked up, smile on her face and seeming to expect Lainey, though she blinked in surprise when she caught sight of Dean over her shoulder.

"Hey, Michelle," Lainey greeted, nicer than Dean was used to hearing her be to people that weren't Sam these days. The woman, Michelle apparently, smiled wider and finished flipping the line of burgers she had going.

"Hi, sweetie. How are you doing?"

Lainey shrugged, moving through the space as if she knew where she was going, which Dean realized, she did. That was when he noticed two foil-wrapped burgers already sat to the side, clearly left there intentionally, that Lainey grabbed.

"Another day in paradise," she said dryly. "Thanks again for this."

Michelle waved her off, her eyes landing on Dean in interest.

"You know you're welcome. You wanna thank me, you can introduce me — is this finally that mysterious friend of yours?"

Dean's eyes widened while Lainey's cheeks flamed, her eyes dropping to the ground as she shifted awkwardly on her feet, looking anywhere but at him.

"Dean, this is Michelle. She caught me eating a bag of chips one day for lunch and has been keeping me fed ever since. Michelle, this is my friend, Dean."

There seemed to be a bit more to it than that, but he wasn't about to push, and Michelle didn't seem inclined to call her out, but she shot him a warm look as she continued hustling around her work station.

"Very nice to meet you, Dean."

"Nice to meet you, too, ma'am," he returned, clearing his throat and putting on the voice he used on the rare occasion he wanted to make a good impression. "Uh, thanks, for the burgers. Didn't realize that was your doing."

"I've told this one," she said, nodding towards Lainey, "it's no trouble. You just keep her out of here and smiling."

If possible, and Dean hadn't thought it was, the red coloring Lainey's face deepened to roughly the color of a tomato, and she looked like she wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

"Right, that's enough. Thanks, Michelle," she called, turning on her heel and roughly grabbing Dean by the arm to pull him away with her. He called out a goodbye over his shoulder, dimly registering Michelle's reply as Lainey hauled him back down the hallway.

"So that's how you've been coming up with these every day," Dean said, taking the burger Lainey pushed at him when she released his arm. "I was wondering."

"It's not a big deal," she muttered just as they made it back into the main part of the school. Dean realized he was now following her out to their usual table as they weaved their way through the throngs of students now flooding the hallways. It was harder to carry a conversation because of how loud it was, but he wasn't about to complain, taking the chance to process what had just happened. When they were finally settling into their usual spots outside, Dean fishing the sodas out from his bag and handing one over to her, that's when he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"So," he started, and Lainey gave him that wary look back.

"What?"

"C'mon, Lainey, you know what. What was all that about?"

"I told you," she insisted. "Michelle caught me eating chips for lunch one day, because I couldn't choke down any more of Bobby's sandwiches, and she's been slipping me a burger for lunch since. When you and Sam got here, she started slipping me an extra one. No big deal."

Dean studied her for half a beat, then shook his head, popping the top of his soda.

"Bullshit," he declared. "What did she mean, keep you out of there?"

The blush came back, and Lainey fidgeted with the top of her own soda. "Can we just not?"

Dean rolled his eyes, finally unwrapping his food. "What, were you eating lunch in there or something?"

He took a bite, but it was as he was chewing that he noticed the way Lainey stiffened, and he realized he'd hit the nail on the head.

"Laine —" he started, swallowing as fast as he could, but a hard look came over her face.

"Don't," she warned, and Dean sighed, refusing to let himself get angry again.

"How bad was it?" he asked instead, forcing himself to be gentle. Lainey shrugged, reaching for her own burger.

"It was no big deal. Now for fuck's sake, can we please talk about something else? Literally anything. I'll even take cars for 200," she attempted to joke. Dean didn't want to let it go, but he could tell that was what Lainey needed, so he took a drink, searching his head as he did.

"Bobby's got some parts coming in today," he ended up saying when he lowered the soda from his lips. "Probably help him with some inventory when we get home."

"Sounds riveting."

Dean snorted, but felt his own chest loosen when he caught the beginnings of a smirk tugging at her lips. It didn't fix everything, he knew that… but it was a start.

A start was good.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

It took about a week, but eventually, Lainey seemed to accept that Dean wasn't going anywhere. The change was gradual, but it struck him one day, between first and second period, that he hadn't had to go find her; she'd already been walking intentionally in his direction to meet up with him. Then later that same day, she didn't even hesitate when they neared his biology class, despite the fact that Maddie was lingering with the group of girls Dean had noticed Lainey tended to give the widest berth, talking freely with him and laughing about something stupid her teacher had said in the period before.

They weren't the most earth-shattering things, but Dean recognized that, for Lainey, they weren't small. Every day, he saw a little bit more of the girl he'd grown up with. Her moods became more consistent instead of the volatile thing they'd been since he and Sam arrived, and while she still had a sort of edge to her that hadn't existed before, was definitely still a little darker and more sarcastic, she started to brighten.

She spent more time with all of them at home, not just Sam. She joked more and actually answered when Bobby would ask her about her day. Dean noticed that a lot of her evenings were still spent either at the kitchen table or in Bobby's study working on her homework while simultaneously working with Sam on his, but he nearly dropped the wrench in his hand into the engine he was working on the first time she ventured outside while he was working on one of Bobby's tows, book in hand, clearing a spot atop the nearby workbench and hopping up as if it were completely normal. When Dean asked, she cited a desire for fresh air, but the way she drifted between reading and maintaining a conversation with him, he realized she was, in fact, just there to spend the time with him.

He'd have enjoyed working on the cars anyway, but there was something about Lainey's presence that took it to the next level — even if he knew she didn't retain a single thing he tried to explain to her about what he was doing. At least when she rattled off new hunting lore, since she seemed to reserve homework for Sam and hunting research for her time outside with him, Dean could keep up, and it usually sparked conversation that carried on effortlessly until something external put an end to it. Usually, Bobby or Sam calling them in for dinner.

His dad missed another call, but caught up a couple of days later, letting him and Sam know that he was making progress, but he'd still be a while longer. Probably longer than he originally expected, which had already been longer than usual.

It hadn't left the best taste in Dean's mouth, and he was unsurprised when Lainey curled up on the couch with him again that night, pushing a familiar mug of tea into his hand and nestling her head onto his shoulder, all but forcing him to wrap an arm around her. He was surprised to find that once he did, something in his chest seemed to lighten.

"At least it's not so bad here," she murmured quietly. "And Sam's doing well. Think this might be the happiest I've seen him."

Dean knew she was right. John had reamed Bobby out over letting Sam join the soccer team, going off about how he and Dean were meant to be working on skills they could actually use if they had free time, like bow hunting and shooting, but Bobby had given it right back, and Lainey — in a surprising stroke of wisdom — had made sure Sam was out of earshot and distracted as it had all gone down.

"Yeah," he conceded. "Could definitely be worse."

Lainey nodded, looking like she was chewing her tongue for a moment, which caught his attention. He didn't even have to ask, in the end. As soon as he caught her eye, his brow quirking up, she sighed, caving easier than he expected.

"And it's nice," she went on, biting her lip nervously and looking anywhere but at him. "Having you around."

Despite how things had been lately, it still caught him off guard, and Dean blinked back at her in surprise for a moment before a soft smile formed on his own face and he settled in further.

"Yeah," he agreed. "It's nice being here with you, too."

The real sign that Lainey was becoming Lainey again came one day in the middle of the week at lunch. Although he and Lainey had taken to meeting up between most of their classes, they didn't make it a habit to seek one another out between class and their lunch, meeting instead at the picnic table, continuing their original ritual of Dean procuring sodas while Lainey saw Michelle to get them food. He'd beaten her there, as he often did since he had the easier of the two jobs, and was fidgeting with a loose thread of his shirt sleeve when a familiar laugh caught his attention.

He looked up in time to see Lainey approaching, which he expected, but what made his eyes widen in surprise was that she wasn't alone. There was another girl with her that Dean hadn't seen before, with brown hair, dark eyes, wearing an outfit that screamed I'm not from around here the way Lainey's often did. She was smiling, though, talking with Lainey as they walked, and when they got closer, Lainey looked up, seeming to notice Dean watching. There was a genuine smile on her face, though he knew her well enough to pick up on the underlying nervousness.

"Hey," he greeted. "What's uh…" he trailed off, not really sure what to ask, but Lainey seemed to read anyway and gestured to the girl.

"This is Dean. Dean, this is Beatrice. Her parents just moved into the house next to Bobby's, and we have Spanish together. Hope it's alright, I told her she could sit with us."

It was unexpected, a little weird even, and Dean wasn't in the habit of making friends, but the smile that spread across his face was genuine. He hadn't seen Lainey willingly talk to anyone that wasn't him, the lunch lady, or a teacher, and here she was actually inviting someone to have lunch with her. The girl probably could have been a fucking werewolf or something, and he still would have been excited.

"Course it is," he assured her, flashing what was usually a winning smile in Beatrice's direction. "Nice to meet you. Sorry, I only grabbed two," he apologized as he and Lainey made their usual trade of foil-wrapped burger for soda can. Beatrice didn't seem bothered and dropped her bag on the end of the table.

"That's alright, I'm covered," she assured him, already unzipping the thing and reaching inside. Dean noticed Lainey hadn't gotten her a burger either and felt some weird kind of fluttering when he realized there was still a part of this that was just for them. "Nice to meet you, too, though. You can call me Bea."

Beatrice ended up being pleasant enough company. She was an only child, and she and her parents had just moved to town from Chicago for her dad's job — something about a research position with a university that Dean had forgotten the details of nearly as soon as she'd shared them. It sounded like they'd moved around a good amount, something Dean and Lainey could obviously relate to, but she was hoping she'd at least get to finish out high school here. Dean wasn't sure he'd have gone out of his way to make friends with the girl on his own… he was actually sure that he wouldn't have… but seemed to share some of Lainey's darker, more sarcastic humor with a warmth and compassion that Lainey also shared once upon a time but had been doing her damnedest to cover up lately. Conversation flowed easily, and there was more laughter than Dean was used to, even with how good things had been lately between him and Lainey.

There was no telling how things would work out — if Lainey would stay friends with this girl, if Beatrice would actually stick around, if they actually had enough in common for a real friendship to form — but it gave Dean hope. He'd been quietly starting to worry what would happen when, inevitably, he and Sam had to leave, and she was on her own again. Even if it wasn't Beatrice, the fact that Lainey had made the effort of her own accord, that she seemed to be finding herself and her confidence again, made him feel like even when he wasn't there, she'd find a way to be okay instead of going back to how he imagined it had been before. How it had been even when he'd originally gotten there.

That was enough to leave a smile on his face when the three of them parted ways, him heading into Biology — one of his least favorites, now, and usually guaranteed to put him in a bad mood — while Lainey and Beatrice headed for the math class they apparently had together.

"Look at you," he said when he saw her later that day, when it was just the two of them again. "Making friends and being social."

Lainey rolled her eyes and shoved his arm, but he could see the pink tingeing her cheeks. "Shut up."

"What?" he laughed. "I think it's nice. You always used to be friendly."

Another eye roll, and he could see her getting defensive in a way that tugged at heartstrings Dean didn't expect. "Yeah, well, I figure she lives next door… and she seems cooler than all these other assholes around here."

Dean let the subject drop, but he was happy that Beatrice quickly became a regular at their lunches, though the exchanging of burgers and soda remained strictly a him and Lainey thing. And when Lainey started spending time out of the house again, it felt different — less like she was avoiding the three of them and more like she was just enjoying herself. She'd come home, actually smiling, slipping back into whatever was going on at the house seamlessly instead of immediately disappearing into her room.

It was one of these nights that Bobby looked up while Lainey was washing her hands before dinner and shot Dean an appreciative look Dean wasn't sure what to do with.

The next day was a Sunday, and Dean was having a lazy morning, lounging on the couch and flipping through cartoons, while Sam flipped through a book a few feet away on the floor, when Bobby's angry voice rang out through the house, calling for Lainey. Dean sat up straighter and Sam's head perked up too as Bobby's footsteps sounded on the stairs.

"Lainey Hollings! You've got thirty seconds to show your damn face or —"

Bobby appeared at the foot of the stairs and came up short when he saw Dean and Sam.

"Bobby, what's wrong?" Dean asked, surprised to realize he was concerned. Lainey had mostly seemed to stop testing boundaries lately, and even before, he'd really only gone off on Lainey the one time. Bobby was seething, but ground his teeth and seemed to try to dial it back when he noticed his audience.

"Girl made a complete —"

"Sorry!" a familiar voice called out from the basement stairs, timed with the sound of footsteps hurrying up them. "Sorry!" she repeated, "I was just grabbing stuff to clean up. No need to get so bent out of shape."

Lainey rounded the corner then, finally coming into view and brandishing a roll of paper towels and an armful of cleaning products. The room fell silent, though, and all Dean really noticed was her hair.

It was red again — not the exact shade of auburn it had been before, but damn fucking close, and Dean found himself inexplicably transfixed.

The other two seemed equally surprised, and from his peripheral, Dean caught Bobby open and close his mouth a few times without any sound coming out. A blush bloomed to life across Lainey's face, and she shifted uncomfortably where she stood at the edge of the room.

"What?" she asked, and that question seemed to snap all of them out of it. Bobby shook his head.

"Nothing," he grunted, his usual gruffness coming off like a mask in that moment. "Just, make sure you get it taken care of."

Lainey nodded earnestly, tucking the paper towels under her arm so she could push some of her freshly dyed hair out of her face. "Yeah, I got it. Promise. And if it's alright, I was thinking I might walk into town with Beatrice after? There's a book I wanted to get that the bookshop was supposed to get in today."

Bobby blinked but nodded, starting to move away from the stairs and towards his study. "No problem, just be back by dinner."

"Aye, aye," she joked, a familiar spark in her eyes Dean hadn't realized how much he'd been missing. Soon as Bobby cleared the room, Sam seemed to find his voice again.

"Lainey, you fixed your hair!"

Dean watched the surprise flash across her face before she turned to Sam, trying to mask it, her blush deepening as she did.

"Oh, uh, yeah… I guess I did. Tried to anyway… I don't know that brown was really my color."

Sam shook his head. "It was fine, but I like the red better," he told her earnestly, turning back to his book. "You look like you again."

Lainey bit her lip and looked as touched as she was embarrassed. "Thanks, Sammy." That was when she inadvertently locked eyes with Dean and, nervously, raised her eyebrows. "Well, what'd ya think, Winchester? Better or worse than the brown?"

He could have gone back with some smartass comment — she'd left the door open with her light tone, and it would have fit their usual style of banter. Something stopped him, though, and Dean found he couldn't. He just smiled back, something softer and more genuine than what they usually shared in the light of day, and tried to ignore the sudden and very strange swooping sensation in his stomach.

"You — you look beautiful, Laine," he stuttered out, feeling heat creeping into his own cheeks, but feeling pleased at the smile that formed on her face. "I mean, you, you always look nice but… Sam's right. The red definitely suits you."

Something flashed in her eyes, and his stomach did that thing again.

"Thanks," she whispered. "I guess I'll just…"

She trailed off but headed for the stairs, and Dean found his eyes following her unconsciously — something he didn't even realize until he settled back into the couch and caught Sam staring at him. "What?" he asked, and Sam tilted his head curiously.

"Nothing, you've just got a weird look on your face."

Going back to flipping through the channels, Dean quickly grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it at Sam's head. "Shut up, Sam."

They were still sitting there about an hour later when Lainey came back downstairs, changed and rushing to answer the door that had just rung. Dean watched, waving and giving a brief hello when Lainey opened it to reveal Beatrice on the other side. Bobby came back in, giving his own hello and reminding Lainey to be back by dinner before the girls slipped outside, going on their way. Sam took the opportunity to wander into the kitchen, and Bobby caught Dean's eye, that same sort of appreciative look on his face, this time mixed with relief.

"I think she's gonna be okay," he said simply, and Dean found himself nodding, the declaration not needing anything further. He understood what Bobby meant, that he'd been sharing in the same concerns Dean'd had lately, but he agreed. It was a realization that lifted a weight off his chest he hadn't even realized was still there.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I think she is."