Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The rain was starting to pick up as the sun got closer to setting. The streets were dark and gloomy, no lights from the shops or streetlights to illuminate the small street's features. Once the sun would set, there’d be no way to figure out if you were about to hit a curb or even a wall. The city was truly abandoned and cut out by the outside world.

Although, as the rain continued to fall faster and harder, it was easier to hide the sounds of footsteps. Assuming you weren’t a soldier in a group, holding a rifle, uniform with all sorts of things strapped on, and a gas mask to avoid breathing in any spores that weren’t already taken care of. Because then being quiet would be impossible.

“It’s going that way!”
One of the soldiers yelled over the sound of his own group’s footsteps.

“Since when the hell did they run?”
Another spoke up, trying not to trip as they tried to understand their situation.

“What, are you getting tired?”
The third teased.

“Huh? No? Wha-Is this not a brand new behavior? A zombie running away? I mean, it ran out of a clothing store!”

“He’s right,” The fourth and final member spoke, “But regardless of this, all that matters is extermination. We’re still trying to reopen Shibuya. And considering the containment protocols the government took, this should be the only time we deal with this.”

“Aren’t you confident?”
The third asked, hoping for a better understanding of this situation, but was quickly cut off by the one in front.

“Dammit! It turned the corner towards the border. Move it! We can’t lose any of them.”

ーミクー

The footsteps of the death stampede behind her was relentless. They’d had to have been running for a long enough time for Miku to not ever remember this part of Shibuya from her many disguised walks. This had to have been far from her home and Scramble Crossing, after all that’s where her and her friends would normally stroll.

The distance ran was starting to catch up to her legs. Even in death, or undeath, or whatever this state of living was, her body would ache. She just needed to find somewhere to hide. Immediately she was thinking about dodging into the next alley, but white beams of light started to reflect off of the wet street around the corner she just passed.

Without much of an idea on what else she could do, she ran to find the next alley. Which at her inconvenience was at the end of the street where it became a dead end. So either she’d have to find the perfect hiding spot, or beg not to be shot. Though, it didn’t seem like the majority of that party behind her would care about her not being brain dead. So hiding was really the only choice.

She grabbed onto a railing that led to the entrance of the building by the alley to help redirect her motion towards the alley so that she didn’t have to stop herself and then run, or accidentally trip and miss the alley in favor of the wall right ahead of her.

At least what she did helped her to trip onto an old mattress in the alley. Letting out a small exclamation as she fell onto it and bounced back up slightly so that when she landed, her head almost missed the mattress. As she took a moment to recognize how badly that could’ve just ended, she heard a nearby groan. A generic one that reminded her of another way her life could’ve badly ended.

As she sat up and held a hand up to her head to stabilize and reorient herself, she saw the top of a torso sticking out from under some clutter. It was hard to see anything in the alley, but she could assume it was trash or something. The sight tugged at Miku’s heart, even though the other zombie wouldn’t be able to talk or react like they likely used to in their past life. She almost wanted to take the other’s hand, to help them, maybe reassure them. She hadn’t really encountered a sight like this before, normally zombies weren’t stuck and still alive.

“One of you, stay at the entrance to this street. Everyone else, check the clutter by the street, it could be trying to hide from us.” The leader’s confident order was met with a few “Mph”s of acknowledgement. And Miku started to really understand that she had little time.

“Sorry.” She whispered towards the zombie before she looked around the alley for anything. And then she spotted a ladder above the trapped zombie. It looked like the side of an apartment building, with the ladder leading to a balcony. All she needed to do was release it from up there so that she could reach it.

She looked back towards the ground of the alley, and luckily the flashlights’ quick movements reflected every direction and flashed a step-ladder next to the zombie. This alley was already weird enough. Trash bags and now a step-ladder? What did people do back here anyways?
But she didn’t have any time to think about these things, every second brought her closer to removing the first two letters from ‘undead’. She quickly scrambled up from the mattress, grabbing the slippery handles of the step ladder and moving it under the balcony’s ladder.

She quickly looked down to watch her feet as she stepped up, trying her best to avoid falling. Her body was much easier to scrape, and she only had so much thread left in her skirt’s pocket. And she wasn’t too fond of attempting to stitch herself up without honey. It nullified some of the pain, and needles were quite painful at full force.

As she looked up at the ladder, she saw one of the soldiers crouched while searching some of the clutter across the street. Seeing any of them this close was terrifying. Just knowing that all it takes is a little noise just for them to turn around and shoot. It didn’t matter that she wouldn’t be able to return to her idol career, it mattered that she felt the need to live. As if there was something for her beyond this.

“Nothing…” The soldier grumbled, uncrouching and moving back towards the entrance of the street.

Miku took a deep breath to steady herself, which didn’t really do too much as she didn’t have a heart that needed soothing, looked back up at the ladder, and jumped. She could feel the front of her shoe slip slightly on the stool after she had already thrown herself towards the ladder. It wasn’t enough to affect her jump, but it unsettled her how bad that could have been.

As her right hand hit the ladder she tightly shut it around the metal bar, the impact making a small sound that was drowned out by the rain. Miku reached to grab the bar with her other hand and took a moment to let out a sigh of relief. She was about to escape them, or at least make much more distance than she currently had.

Until the ladder slipped down and clanged a bit against the balcony.

Miku’s eyes widened, she tightened her grip on the bar. Silently begging for the soldiers to not have heard her, and for the ladder to stay still.

Only one of her wishes was heard by the universe, because the guards didn’t hear that first sound.

But that ladder did slip further down again. And hanging onto the bottom bars let Miku feel how much she could wiggle it around. This ladder had seen better days, but it wasn’t going to make it through the night.

“Wait, come on!” Miku quietly strained as she quickly moved to grab onto the next rung of the ladder. To which, the ladder slid down a bit further before momentarily getting caught on something. And without much of a choice she tried to pull herself up fast enough to grab onto the metal railing of the tiny balcony. As she leaped and grabbed onto it, she frantically tried to find footing. Which resulted in her kicking the ladder.

Scratch that, the ladder wasn’t only not going to make it through the night. It wasn’t surviving the first 30 seconds Miku touched it.

It landed upright onto the ground, letting out a loud metal clang and giving Miku a ringing in her ears. As the ladder carefully chose which direction to fall, it tipped towards the trash bags that trapped the zombie. Loudly hitting what sounded like glass bottles within the bags.

“Oh n- I-” Miku looked down with fright and some guilt. But before she could even consider saying sorry to the zombie after her immediate reaction-

“It came from the alley, everyone with me!”

Miku continued to look down at the zombie in shock before seeing the white beams of light get bigger on the ground in front of the alley. And the footsteps started to get much louder than the heavy rain.

She pulled herself over the metal railing, and caught herself when she fell onto the balcony flooring. She felt a slight numb pain on her hands and knees as she hit the surface. She grimaced, and looked in between the metal bars of the railing and saw the front of a figure’s head blurrily run into the entrance. She quickly crawled onto the other side of the balcony and laid flat on her back. Staring straight up at the bottom of the balcony above her. All she could do was wait for them to leave now.

“You see anything in there?” The third soldier asked from the start of the alley where he held his rifle up with the attached flashlight to see further down the cramped space.

The fourth who ventured into the alley kept silent for a moment as he looked over at the trash bags. Making out the outstretched arm and head of a human figure.

“Yep, zombie. This should be the one.” He calmly replied.

The other two soldiers’ footsteps caught up as the leader moved past the third, their shoulders hitting as he moved to look at the zombie being illuminated.

The third looked at the second who more cautiously approached the alley, and gestured towards the leader with an incredulous expression. To which, the other untensed and kept in a laugh.

“You sure this is the one?” Asked the leader.

“It’d have to be. It must’ve knocked over the ladder, which also knocked down trashbags on the way to hit him.”

As Miku listened to them, the flashlights allowed her to faintly see the reflection of the glass door next to her.

The leader nodded and stood straight up as he took a device out of his pocket. Biting the tip of his glove to take it off.

“I’ll mark this spot for clean-up then.”

The fourth nodded before toggling his gun’s safety and immediately firing.

Miku just stared up at the balcony above her with wide eyes. There wasn’t a second where they even acknowledged that the zombie was once a person. They just fired.

“Okay, let’s regroup with the other squads and review. Considering that this is the last section we’ve been ordered to clear, we should be done.”

“Wait? Like done-done?” The second asked with hope.

“Sure hope so. We’ve been clearing out this section multiple times a day for like a month now. If there’s a zombie still out here, I’ll be damned.”  The third stated with much displeasure.

He nodded towards the fourth, both of them moving from the alley. The other two just stood there for a moment longer to take a breath.

The second looked at the other, “So you’re telling me we see a zombie come out of a clothing shop, and run away from us, and you just don’t think for a second that this is different?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“You didn’t really acknowledge it either.”

He sighed, “Yeah, it was honestly kind of spooky. Guess I didn’t really want to.”

“What if that wasn’t even a zombie, but just another person who was trapped in this section?”

The third raised his eyebrows in surprise, then carelessly pointed his rifle towards the dispatched zombie, “No if’s. That was what we chased. And for a smart zombie, it wasn’t hiding. It was reaching out.”

“Oh. Yeah…”

The third chuckled, “But hey, if you want an apology or something. We could go out to that one club sometime. The rabbit one?”

“I- How does that make for an apology?!” He stammered.

“They have good drinks, and entertainment I hear.” He mocked.

“What did I do to be assigned to the same team as you?” The second muttered his complaint before the other laughed and left the alley. The second begrudgingly followed him.

Miku gave it a few more seconds before slowly pulling her knees towards herself as she sat up. She looked at the direction the men left in, and blankly stared at her knees. Surprised at how desensitized they were to killing a zombie.

She couldn’t really see much anymore as the soldiers’ flashlights no longer reflected from a distance. But she knew there was a glass door next to her. And it wasn’t like she would find any benefit from going back down.

She felt the shape of the spool of thread in her pocket and thought back to how much she had left. After she finished stitching herself up in the bathroom of the clothing store, she had a couple rotations of it left. It would probably be enough to stitch herself up again.

She balled her hand into a fist and moved parallel to the door. Moving her arm back before sending it straight through the glass door. Thank god it wasn’t thick or high-quality glass, otherwise her hand would probably be broken. But she felt a significant dull pain in her knuckles, and some lines on her arm. At least it was numbed.

She reached for the handle, being careful not to hurt herself further on the glass, and opened the door. She pushed it open, watching as it slowly creaked open. Once it lightly hit the wall and stopped, Miku stayed still as she listened for anything beyond the rain. But she no longer heard anything.

She stepped in and closed the door behind her. Looking into the room that she couldn’t make anything out within.

“I just need a mirror and light…” She sighed. Putting her uncut arm out and playing a suspenseful game of feeling around for furniture and hopefully nothing with a sharp edge.

Once she found the wall, she traced it with her fingers as she moved along it. Kicking what seemed like food bags, bottles, and cans. Her fingers eventually hit the corner, which startled Miku a bit. But all she had to do was the same thing again with this wall. Eventually hitting the rim of a door frame.

Miku raised her eyebrows with hope at what could be on the other side. Realistically it’d be another dark room, but the more she had mapped out in her head the better.

She traced the door with her hand before finding the handle and twisting it. Sliding her right foot back to make sure she wouldn’t trip on any trash before doing the same with the left so that she could open the door fully.

As the door finally passed her face, she could immediately see the other side of a hallway. A light illumination streaked across the walls and doors. Curiously, she stepped out into the hallway and looked at the direction the light seemed to come from.

A building across the street had its lights on. And almost immediately Miku felt that feeling of hope from earlier nearly bloom. It had been so long since she saw lights that weren’t from flashlights or lamps.

She quickly walked up to the window the light came from. An audible squish from her shoes and socks every step and rain water dripping from her body.

As she stared across the street and through the rain that had slowed somewhat, she saw that it was a hallway with an average spacing between doors. Not like the building she was in. It could’ve been a hotel or an apartment building, but all that mattered to her was that she could get somewhere with light.

It didn’t seem that any power was available in this building, or maybe the light switches were already switched off before the area was cut off from electricity. Regardless, Miku wasn’t going to risk going down blacked out stairs or getting stuck in an elevator. And the window was right there.

She put her hands on the inside edges of the window and felt around. Trying to feel if there was any way for her to open it. The light from the other building was making it hard to see with the contra-

Miku stared blanky towards where the window was, as it seemed the window would rather die than just open for a moment.

There was an audible crash. To which Miku stared blankly out the window. Normally a sound like that should mean run and hide. But, she was able to break open that glass door earlier without any interruption. Not to mention, the soldiers went the other way to rendezvous with the others. So surely she was safe. And if she wasn’t. Well, she’d have to run and just hope that the city helped her. Because she hadn’t recognized anything here yet.

Miku leaned her head out of the window, her pigtails resting on the sill as she looked at the smashed window below her on the ground. At least it wasn’t too big. The frame only being a bit larger than her head. But that also meant she’d have to squeeze through the space it previously occupied.

She went back and put her legs out, her front facing inwards, and pushed herself out. Holding on tightly to the window sill, which didn’t seem like it would do much good to hang onto for any longer.

She looked down at the ground, and noticed that she luckily pushed the window out a good distance to where the glass shards weren’t directly below her. She let go of the window sill and landed on her feet with a small thud. It wasn’t that far of a fall, she felt her legs softly groaning through her nerves, but she could still move fairly easily.

She then turned towards the building. It wasn’t directly across the street but rather across on the corner of the street, which was wider than the one she fled on. It looked like a nice area. Relatively clean too. Ignoring the broken glass.

Miku walked around the glass and onto the street, nearly hypnotized by the lights coming from the building. She couldn’t think about the numb pain on her arm or legs. All she could do was keep walking towards what might finally be something for her.

As she got close to the building she noticed a paper posted on the door. She walked up the few steps to the door and looked at the paper.

Cleared

On the bottom of it she could see a symbol that she could only assume was something to do with the government. Meaning that she reached a clean area. No longer in the dangerous part of the quarantine, but the place they won’t patrol again.

She looked down at her still bleeding arm. It wouldn’t do any good to track blood anywhere. She looked behind her to see that there was some noticeable bleeding. Hopefully they’d just see it as the cleaning crew failing. But Miku needed to fix this before heading inside.

Though, the apartment lobby’s lights were good enough for Miku to clearly see her arm outside. It also shone upon the front flower beds, which were discolored and sad from all of the neglect.

Miku went over to the flower bed and put her arm above the soil, reaching in her skirt pocket for the thread and needle. 

She wasn’t the best with her left hand, but she knew the general motions. Hopefully that would help her to do a decent enough job.

ー

“And there.”

Miku wiped off her arm with her other hand and brought it to the front door where the light was the best outside. Her right hand was definitely dark now, but also had some new red stitched down it. Honestly, it wasn’t a bad job. Maybe not as perfect as the stitches she did with her right hand in the past, but it was definitely more than just passable.

She looked up from her no longer bleeding arm and to the apartment building. And then the realization dawned on her, what if the building was locked? If she broke a window, then they’d definitely have to investigate the building. Then she’d be found and killed.

She reached down to at least try the door.

“Oh.”

Miku was pleasantly surprised by the door moving smoothly in. Although, she didn’t want to waste too much more time being out here. Just imagining resting safely sounded like the best feeling there could be. Even if rest didn’t feel like it used to. Something about the routine was nice. On top of that, being soaked was starting to make her feel too cold and slow. Though, the front of the building gave protection from the rain, allowing Miku to have already dried off a decent amount. Dry enough for her shoes to not leave wet prints at least.

Upon entering the apartment she could immediately feel the temperature rise. It was a good feeling, or it was just the fact that it was different from the past year, or however long she was out there in the cold.

She felt as if there was something else she wanted to remember, but right now she just focused on what mattered. Getting into a room.

She looked around before spotting the long reception desk against the right wall. Without much understanding on where to find any room keys, she went behind it and searched through all the drawers.

There was nothing. Nothing besides random documents, which didn’t help a person outside of civilization.

Miku furrowed her brows as she looked around for anywhere else to check. The lobby only had unoccupied seats, dust, and an empty feeling. She could imagine people sitting around talking, and their faces, they were… She couldn’t make them out at the moment, all she could focus on was getting into a room nicely.

As she turned around to lean up against the desk, she noticed an employee’s only door at the corner of the wall behind the desk. And surely they kept the keys for the rooms in there. Right? That’d just make sense, there was no better spot.

Miku pushed off of the desk and walked towards the door, her hopeful expectation clear on her face. She grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, or at least tried. The knob only jiggled in response to the motion. And Miku responded back by trying again with more force. The only new result was more noise.

Miku let go and clenched her fists, glaring at the doorknob. But that only did so much to further her goal. The only thing she could really do now was try doors. Which sounded like a great experience, truly unforgettable.

She walked towards the hallway with the elevator. Staring down at the call button, before disappointedly turning around to take the stairs. All that mattered anymore was getting to a room, even if it took what was left inside of her. After all, she avoided eating anything living for the past year-or-so. So she only had so much stamina before she would go hungry.

ー

Miku was tracing the last hallway on the top of the building. She could feel her body slow, but at least her clothes were mostly dry now. And she was finally near the end, and closer to the likely realization that she would have to break into one of the rooms. Didn’t stop her from hoping, a trait she kept from before everything. In fact, she held on so tightly to what she was. Or at least what she remembered herself as.

She twisted the knob of yet another door, having already anticipated the sudden stop from the lock. It didn’t even disappoint her anymore. At least the apartments were safe to live in, right? So that was nice… Not helpful to her, but helpful to any future residents.

As she walked to the other side of the hall to try the opposing door, she noticed a new sight from the corner of her eye. Her hand hovered above the doorknob as she turned her head to see a shape on the floor at the end of the hallway.

She dropped her hand as she walked towards it. A hopeful glimmer returning to her eye. The fact that there was something out of place, could it be a key? Could it please be a key?

. . .

It was a piece of cloth.

Miku stared down at it, not sure how to react to her shattered expectations. It was her fault for hoping it was a key, or at least something helpful.

She sighed and crossed her arms and turned to look down the hallway she walked down. It hurt her head to think about how long she had really taken trying all of these doors. Then she realized that she didn’t remember which door she was at before coming over here.

She face-palmed, moving her hand to cover her eyes. She could just try the doors from this side and work back to where she knew she had checked. But this was so mind-numbingly boring. Checking doors again and again.

And yet, she felt like she had to get into one of these rooms.

She dropped her hand and turned to the door the cloth was in front of. And it was cracked open already. The light from the hallway shining onto the door in the apartment’s hallway.

Miku slowly snapped herself out from the daze she was in. Slowly moving her hand to push the door further until it was gently stopped by the wall. And she could see the lightswitch against the inside hallway.

“Anyone there?” Miku called out, if this door was open then it could be occupied.

. . .

“Reassuring…” Miku nervously murmured as she walked into the apartment and flicked on the lightswitch.

Immediately she could see the interior of the apartment. The left of the hallway opened up to a living room area, with a kitchen behind it. The right of the hallway continued the length of the living room before opening to the right, however it had two doors on it.

Miku opened the door on the left side, which was a washer and dryer stacked on top of each other. Then she opened the first door on the right, which was just an empty square room. It was somewhat spacious, probably fit for an office space or something of the sort. The second door opened to a bathroom with a shower/bath to the side. It was simplistic, but pleasant in that way.

Honestly, just seeing clean rooms was a nice sight. It had been so long since Miku found an untouched room. Let alone one that wasn’t locked up. However, the lack of anything decor-wise was boring. Not like the little room Miku had set up at the clothing store. She had merchandise of herself and friends. It was quite colorful, unlike this.

With the original reason for her being to find a mirror, she didn’t waste time exploring the rest of the apartment. She stepped into the bathroom, found and flicked the lightswitch, and walked to the mirror above the sink to look at herself. Her red eyes scanning the image in front of her.

Her skin above her nose was a darker color above the stitch line. The pink lines connecting the pale and slightly green skin paired nicely color-wise. And her skin still looked normal besides its differing colors and stitches. At least it wasn’t rotting like the other zombies. And her hair was the same tealish color, but the tips were now pink, as if they were dip dyed. Her pigtails were shorter now, but that was for convenience. Having long pigtails wasn’t worth it in the quarantine, especially since the zombies couldn’t even appreciate it.

And then there was the whole mushroom crown thing.They were just on her head and stuck out of her hair in a ring shape. They were red-to-pink, and still confusing to her. She didn’t even understand what they were there for. All that made sense was that it was the giant mushroom on the building that infected people with spores, and that they came from that. But these mushrooms only seemed to be an accessory that Miku couldn’t get rid of.

Her graphic crop top was still faintly damp, causing it to stick to her skin. However, the pink on the short sleeves matched her pink hair tips, and the color around the zombie heart on the front matched the lighter parts of her skin. It was a cute outfit, but if she understood that it was raining and there were soldiers patrolling tonight she definitely wouldn’t have picked to wear this.

After looking at her immediate appearance, she pulled the thread out of her pocket to put on the rim of the sink. Careful to avoid poking herself with the needle that was tightly tied to the spool with the remaining thread. Then she took off her wet crop top and skirt, putting them on the side rims of the sink to help them dry further. Then she stepped back until she could see most of her body in the mirror. Raising her arms and rotating as she kept her eyes on the mirror.

This was a part of a routine to make sure she didn’t let herself bleed out. Blood didn’t seem to clot like it used to. It wasn’t like hemophilia, but it definitely wasn’t like a normal person. And because injuries were harder to feel, the only way to truly make sure she wasn’t cut was to check herself. And if she was, stitch herself up. Normally honey was involved in the process because it just, sorta helped. Somehow it would numb the sharp needle feeling, which was the only feeling besides major injuries that was very noticeable to Miku.

The amount of stitches in Miku’s body helped to show how uncomfortable the quarantine was. And the way the skin was a different shade across each stitch line, it looked like some weird art.

But at least tonight there wasn’t anything to worry about. She was fine. Her body was faintly aching, but that was just from all of the activity today. It’d go away. Probably.

She lowered her arms and walked back to the sink, moving to pick back up her clothes before stopping and looking over at the shower. Yet another wish in her mind, one that was once again reaching too far from realism.

“If there’s power,” She spoke softly as she moved and reached to turn the lever in the shower, “Then there’s water,” She smiled as water did start shooting out of the shower head.

She put her hand under the stream, which was cold, but she had already bathed in cold water. Although, this water was clean, or it at least looked like it was.

She briefly giggled, “What a stupid thing to say.”

It reminded her of someone.

ー

As Miku exited the bathroom with no dirt on her skin, she walked down the hallway to check out the rest of the apartment. She had already seen the living room and kitchen, but she didn’t see the room that was at the end of the hallway. It wasn’t separate from the kitchen and living room, and it was vacant as the rest of the building. Just a bed in the corner of the apartment, and a large closet that took 4/5ths of the wall opposite of the windows and bed.

Without much else to do, Miku went to the sliding closet door and tried it, unsuccessfully.

“Huh?” Miku furrowed her brows and tried tugging it to the side again.

“Seriously?”

And again…

“Come on!”

And again…

After the fourth time, Miku let go and took a step back. Looking at the sliding door for anything that would stop it from opening. But there was nothing. Meaning that it had to be something inside.

She gave up for the moment, looking at the opposite wall. Looking through the window at the horizon. It was big, and between the bedroom area and the kitchen was a door. Obviously a balcony door. The rain had stopped, so there wouldn’t be much harm in checking it out.

As when she entered, exiting had presented her with a noticeable temperature change. It was nice though, nothing bad.

The balcony was spacious, stretching along the apartment room. A wall on the right where the next room’s balcony would be, and just a railing on the left that connected to the building. Which made sense considering this was the last room on this side.

Miku looked across the horizon. It felt like she could make out a familiar layout of some buildings far off, but she couldn’t remember what they were. The reason she could remember the layout was the view from her old home.

Suddenly, multiple memories came back to Miku. She could remember talking with her friends at her home. And watching the sunset from her own balcony with Teto.

“Teto…” Miku murmured, “Wait a second!” Miku suddenly remembered more. It was her and Teto’s home. They lived together, and they loved each other. They’d watch movies and commonly invite the others in their idol friend groups over for hangouts and parties.

How could she forget for even a moment about her friends? Let alone letting the image of her love slip from her head. It had been a long time without anyone to actually talk to her, but even this was inexcusable. She couldn’t specifically remember what Teto’s touch even felt like anymore.

Miku rested her cheek on her palm and smiled as she reminisced about her past. About every single loved one. Kaito, Meiko, Luka, Rin, Len, Gumi, and Teto. She longed to know how each one of them were doing. To one day see them once more with her eyes, if even just for a fleeting moment. It’d be better than the merch versions of them all, which her quarantine home was filled with.

If only she had her phone and a charger still, then maybe she could’ve plugged it in here and could check on their careers. What was Magical Mirai without Miku now? Was Teto’s idol career as strongly independent as it was after Mezmerizer? So many questions.

And maybe it was too far of a dream, seeing them all again. And yet, that was who Miku was. Hopeful, even when the odds were stacked against her. What harm would it do to wish for these things?

“Oh?” Miku’s eyes opened wider as she saw a light in the sky. It almost looked like it was streaking, like a shooting star. And Miku’s red eyes shone like one when she assumed that. Clasping her hands together, closing her eyes, and looking down.

May I see all of my friends again.

Miku’s body slacked as she looked back up to see it, feeling relieved. Up until she realized that the “Shooting star” was actually a military helicopter. Then she quickly retreated back into the apartment.

She knew tonight couldn’t continue forever for her, it needed to end. But she began to feel comfortably warm inside with all the memories. She walked around the apartment again before returning to the bedroom area. Being left with the only good hiding spots being the closet or under the bed.

“Look at me, a monster hiding in a bedroom.” She smiled as she turned to the jammed closet. If she wanted to be hidden in this apartment building, which currently felt correct to her, the closet would be best.

She gripped the inverted handle of the closet and used her full strength to get the closet to open slightly. At the sight that it was possible to open this stubborn door, Miku grabbed the end of the door and pulled it until it stopped. Which wasn’t too much further. This wide closet was hardly opened compared to what it should be, but it was enough for Miku to squeeze through.

Surprisingly, the closet door was easy to close. And it was spacious enough for Miku’s shoulders to only lightly brush up against the door and wall.

She moved to the far side of the closet, sitting down against the side wall. Hugging her knees against her chest and resting her cheek on her upper arm with a hopeful smile.

“To the future.” She softly said before closing her eyes and letting go of her worries in favor of her fond memories.

Chapter Text

ーテトー

The scent of eggs wafted out from the kitchen into the rest of the simple house. Some simple tamagoyaki plated on two separate dishes. The sun’s early rays were shining into the house through the windows, and Gumi stood in the middle of the kitchen with her hands on her hips. Looking towards the hallway with an in-thought expression.

The TV played in the living room between the kitchen and hallway to the rooms. Deco News playing on it, but Gumi wasn’t paying much attention to it. Today was a big day, it was the day Teto moved out. After three years, it would finally be time for Teto to go back to solo living, and Gumi for that matter.

Is she even awake? I thought we were leaving before 10 because of the drive.

But honestly, Teto was sometimes not what people expected of her. And if she was acting unexpected again, then that’d mean she really had healed from losing her girlfriend. Nothing would be more reassuring to Gumi and the other idols than Teto completely returning to normal. She had already recovered a noticeable amount the past two years. Even if she gave up on her idol career.

I should go check on her, don’t want breakfast to go cold.

Gumi walked across the house and to what once was a guest room and would become a guest room once more. Though, it wasn’t like Teto was a bad roommate. She was quite respectful of spaces that weren’t her room. Which had been cleared and cleaned over the past few days.

“Teto, you u-” Gumi froze at the sight of Teto laid down on the bed staring straight up at the ceiling, with the bedroom lights still on.

“Yeah…” Teto weakly replied.

“Did you even get any sleep?” Gumi felt dumbfounded at this strange sight.

“I got some.” She spoke slightly louder, her staring contest with the ceiling of her room unbroken.

“Well,” Gumi looked around the clean room, then at the bags laid by the bed, “I’d like to be on schedule. So if you could get up and eat breakfast, I’d greatly appreciate that.” She almost felt a little bad for saying that. But she did want to get back home in time to properly sleep before tomorrow’s shoot.

Teto nodded and quickly sat up on the bed. Gumi smiled at the fact that Teto was at least up and about, but still quite confused as to what possessed Teto to sleep with the lights on, on no sheets, and on her back for once.

As Gumi walked back to the kitchen, Teto rubbed her eyes. She had been awake for at least an hour, and then it took her way too long to fall asleep in the first place. Today was indeed a big day, but Teto couldn’t understand whether she was excited, scared, or uncomfortable with it. Not like her dream had helped her feel reassured or okay.

For the hours that Teto was asleep, she had a nightmare that she hadn’t had since she originally moved in with Gumi. Though, it was more of a memory than a nightmare, but it was unwanted and happened while she was dreaming. Calling it a nightmare would just be easier, brushing things off was a genius strategy.

All she could do was hope that living alone, for essentially the first time, wouldn’t be so unenjoyable. Hopefully it’d be nice, freeing even. She should be excited. She was!

. . .  Yeah… psyching myself up like that isn’t gonna work.

Teto stretched her arms above herself and bent back, hearing a few pops in her body. Committing to no longer resting up.

Teto scooted to the edge and got off the mattress. She took another look at the room, even though she saw enough of it last night. It really was the end of an era. And now, she couldn’t even come up with an idea of what this next era would entail. And not in a hopeful way of “anything can happen”, but in a, “what possibly could happen” way?

Teto walked out of her room into the hallway. She could see Gumi at the kitchen counter eating breakfast. Another plate in front of her. The sound of the news broadcast was faint from her room, but as she walked towards the kitchen it got much louder.

“As of yesterday, the Shibuya area has reopened to the public after a three year long quarantine. Authorities have informed us of the virus, but luckily it has been completely removed from the face of the earth.”

Teto stood on the other side of the counter and ate the tamagoyaki Gumi made for her. This recipe has received many adjustments over the past couple years. Mainly because it was inedible the first few times Gumi made it. She was trying to go for a specific taste, and through trial and error it was finally “mostly” achieved.

“This also means the reopening of notable areas, such as Harajuku.”

“You really chose to move to Harajuku?” Gumi asked, glancing back to her food from the news broadcast.

“I mean,” Teto looked up at Gumi, “ I want to be kinda close to where I used to live. But I also want to not wake up and immediately think about what my life used to be. It’d feel wrong.” Teto replied, looking back down at her food.

Gumi nodded, she understood pretty well that Teto didn’t want to constantly think about her life with Miku while just trying to live on. But, the two did frequent Harajuku for the fashion and aesthetic there. Then again, frequenting is different from living.

“While this is great news, this marks the third year of the disappearance of the world-renowned idol who lived in Shibuya, Hatsune Miku-”

“I’m just going to turn this off.” Teto forced out a laugh to not make Gumi feel any worry for her, but it sounded awkward and didn’t reassure Gumi much.

Teto walked over to the living room and looked at the chairs, the couch, and then the tables for the remote.

“Tomorrow, we’ll have members of the Crypton idol group on to talk about how the talents are feeling, and if this means anything for their futures, or the company’s itself.”

“Uhh… Gumi, where’s the remote at?” Teto nervously asked as the broadcast continued.

“I had it on the couch, maybe it’s in between the cushions?” Gumi said as she walked from the kitchen to the living room to quickly find it.

“We still haven’t received any comments from Hatsune’s partner, and ex-idol, Kasa-”

Teto hit the button on the tv to force it to power down. Her breathing was slightly heavier, and she could feel some emotions almost boil over. She looked over at Gumi, who had such a sweet and caring expression, before straightening up and looking to the side.

“Sorry,” She scratched the back of her neck, “I just… Don’t really think I’m,” She couldn’t say that, ‘she isn’t ready to talk about it’ or else concern for her would only return. Teto paused as she thought a little longer on what to say, “I’m just not wanting to hear anything like that right now. I just woke up.”

Gumi nodded and smiled, “Yeah, I understand. Let’s just finish breakfast, and then we can get going.”

Teto felt her lips curl upwards a bit, Gumi was good at reassuring her without making it feel like pity. Both of them walked back to the counter to eat breakfast.

The absence of the TV did cause silence to fill the room. And considering why the silence was there only made it feel more awkward. Gumi occasionally glanced at Teto to see if she looked like she had anything to immediately say, but Teto only looked at the plate.

Once Gumi accepted the fact that the rest of breakfast would be silent, Teto spoke back up.

“You know Gumi, I don’t need you to help me unpack my stuff. You can just drop me off.” Teto spoke in a light-hearted and almost joking tone, something she learned from Miku when they got back to being friends in their last year of high school.

“So independent,” Gumi joked with a similar tone to Teto’s, “But we’re friends. You’ve been my housemate for so long. Couldn’t hurt to lend a hand.”

“Eh… No pushing you out of this, is there?”

“I mean I guess if you really wanted.” Gumi continued in the same joking tone.

“Nah, too much work.” Teto smiled before finishing the last bite of her tamagoyaki, “I’ll go double check all of my stuff and get ready.”

Gumi nodded as she finished her’s aswell, grabbing both dishes and bringing them to the sink. She was already prepared to go - probably check out a few stores if they were already open after the whole quarantine thing.

－

“There… Okay. Looks like I have everything.” Teto spoke to herself as she looked at the bags that were piled on top of each other by the bed. This was really happening, she was going to live on her ow- “Huh?”

Teto noticed a fabric black strap under the bed. There was a blue foam handle with pink thread. Such familiar colors…

Teto gently grasped the handle and pulled out a duffel bag with the same black, blue, and pink color scheme. A bright laminated  ‘01’ on the middle of both wide sides. Teto sat down and brought the bag onto her lap. Her hand tenderly wiping off the little dust that collected on the number.

She could remember the feeling of frantically grabbing things she thought were important to them. A new outfit they bought, those two stupid plushies of them, her laptop, everything that Teto could remember the other wanted or used. All while yelling at him over the phone, begging for a specific answer. One that wouldn’t hurt her to the point of breaking. One that she wouldn’t deny the validity of. One that meant she wouldn’t lose what mattered most to her.

“Teto, are you okay in the-.” Gumi stopped at the doorway to look at the sight of Teto holding the duffel bag so closely and tightly.

Teto snapped out of her spiral and loosened her grip on the bag so that she could bring her sleeve up to her eyes, her body still facing away from Gumi.

“One second!” Her voice cracked, “I’ll be right out.”

Gumi nodded and moved back into the hallway. She knew that Teto didn’t want to talk about Miku this morning. And so she wouldn’t even pick up the topic with her. This day would be a happy one. And so she wouldn’t bring up any tough topics unless it was impossible to ignore.

After a moment’s wait, Teto leaned her upper half out of the door to look at Gumi.

“Okay, I’m ready. Just let me put my stuff in the car.” Teto smiled at an attempt to reassure Gumi in case she heard the crying. Just thank god Gumi didn’t see her crying.

Gumi would let her believe that, at least for the moment.

“Mhm, I’ll help.” Gumi smiled and moved past Teto to get to the bags.

“Oh- uh yeah.” Teto moved out of the doorway so Gumi could move without obstruction.

Once Gumi grabbed one of the bags, Teto did the same and followed her to the car. Putting them on the back seats. Eventually stacking them to fill the seats completely.

ー

Teto rubbed her arms, feeling cold as it was November. She walked back towards the house to grab her one jacket that she didn’t pack up and left on the coat rack. Hell, the girl didn’t even put on her shoes.

As she reached up for the collar of the slim jacket, Gumi came out of the hallway with the special bag. Teto immediately retracted her hand from the jacket and moved in front of Gumi.

“Here! I’ll take care of that.” Teto nervously laughed as she took the bag as Gumi released it to her.

Gumi watched in silence as Teto went to the car and very particularly placed the bag on top of the others. As if it was a precious artifact that could shatter. But to be fair, it was the bag she packed for Miku. It’d make sense that she’d be so careful about it.

Gumi smiled softly at the care Teto still showed for Miku’s possessions. She was also glad Teto was taking it with her, because Gumi didn’t see this as Teto not being able to let go of things. She saw it more as Teto honoring her past with Miku. After all, it was only this morning that Teto seemed to be sensitive about Miku. And it made sense to Gumi considering the circumstances of moving and finally living alone.

She unhooked the jacket from the coat hanger and picked up Teto’s shoes before following her to the car.

Teto closed the door and turned to walk back to the house before noticing Gumi right in front of her with the things she needed.

“Here”

“Ah, thanks.”

Once Teto took the items back, Gumi went back to the house to lock it. Once she turned back to face the car, Teto had already entered and sat in the driver’s seat.

“This’ll be my last time in this car for who knows how long! I’ll drive!” Teto yelled through the rolled down window, mainly doing this to prove to Gumi that this morning was just a hiccup and that she was fine.

Gumi let out a short laugh before walking up to the passenger’s side and getting in.

“Pretty ceremonial for a car.” Gumi commented as Teto started the car.

“I had to do a bunch of studying to get this license, I’m gonna use it while I still can.” Teto smiled as she started to drive towards Harajuku, “After this, it’s back to taking trains and walking.”

ー

“. . .”

“. . .”

“I swear I’ve seen train carriages less packed than this road.” Teto grumbled, tightening her grip on the steering wheel.

“Yeah…” Gumi sighed, resting her cheek on her palm, “ You’d think that most people would’ve already settled back into the area yesterday.”

“Well that’s just great…” Teto slumped back into the seat, Gumi watched from the corner of her eye.

. . .

Teto’s grip on the steering wheel tightened once again as a thought crossed her mind. She sighed hopelessly, let go of the steering wheel, and slumped completely into the chair.

“Yeah?” Gumi raised an eyebrow.

“We didn’t get anything from the convenience store on the way here…”

“Shoot!” Gumi sat up, “I’m sorry, I forgot to remind you about that.”

Teto raised a hand to pinch the bride of her nose, “No, I should’ve remembered… Ugh, stores here will probably be sold out of everything.”

“Yeah,” Gumi rested her cheek back against her palm, before sitting back up again and looking at Teto, “Actually, there’s a good chance they stocked up on everything for profit.”

Teto turned to face Gumi with a tired, yet somewhat hopeful look, “You mean it?”

“I mean, it’d make sense.” Gumi sheepishly smiled.

“Hm…” Teto turned to look back at the traffic, where a car had finally moved about one space forward. Something about that just really irked her.

“Y’know what?” Teto started, “I think I’ll just walk the rest of the way.”

“What?” Gumi looked at Teto’s slightly annoyed but not joking expression, “Like, just get out here?”

“Yeah. Would you mind driving the rest of the way?” Even Teto understood that the atmosphere in this car was getting stiff. Not like they could really listen to music with how she was currently feeling, and Gumi probably had calls she could take or something.

“I-” Gumi paused before asking, “Are you sure?”

Teto internally breathed out a sigh of relief at Gumi not being irritated by the idea. Thank god she lived with her and not Neru. Though, it wasn't like Teto had that option.

“If you don’t mind, I just think it might be for the best. I need to stretch my legs a bit.” Teto’s eyes avoided Gumi’s at that last part. Because both of them knew that Teto never said that, and she honestly felt a little stupid over it.

“I mean, alright.” Gumi didn’t really know how else to reply.

“Thanks Gumi!”

Teto immediately opened the door of the car and got out. Gumi doing the same on her side, but more conscious of the very close cars. Teto moved between the adjacent lane’s cars to get to the sidewalk.

“Ehe, sorry!” Gumi loudly apologized to the other drivers as she quickly made her way around her car to get in the driver’s seat.

ー

The streets in Shibuya really were heavily occupied. Any street corner that led in the direction of an apartment building or hotel had the worst of it. Teto couldn’t be more content with the decision to get out of the car and start walking, otherwise it’d be forever until they could get to the apartment building. Assuming they could even find a spot to park. Though, just because the streets were occupied didn’t mean the sidewalk was great either.

It was littered with people carrying large bags or boxes. It was hard to see forward with the tall people blocking the view. Teto had to rely on her phone, landmarks, and sense of direction to get anywhere. It didn't help that she didn’t really remember this specific part of Harajuku.

At least the crowds of preoccupied people did good to keep her from being noticed. People were overly interested in Teto since she left the idol world. A good amount of the interest was due to the lack of public statements from both herself and the other idols she worked with surrounding her retirement.

The isolation period, which was about the first year after the incident, helped her to avoid blowing up at random people who wanted to know everything. She recognized that if she were to do anything of the sort, it might shatter her reputation. Not that it mattered as much as it would’ve if she stayed an idol, but you didn’t want to become a widely recognized unlikable person.

After that period of time, Teto would just avoid saying anything in relation to her retirement. She wouldn’t be in the mood to take photos with most fans, not unless they really spoke to her. Which meant that when a kid came up to see what was left of The Kasane Teto, she’d be happy to have the parents take a photo of them. And if the kid ever asked what happened to her idol career, or when the next song was, she’d always reply with something along the lines of, “It didn’t work out correctly.” or “There won’t be a next one, but Gumi has some pretty good songs!”

After all, Gumi was so accommodating. Why not steer her own fans over to her as thanks?

Still, it didn’t make saying any of those words less painful.

Teto loved her idol life, but it wouldn’t be the same anymore. Not without the person that really got her where she was. In a universe where she still was here, then maybe it wouldn’t be like this.

“Should be just around here…” Teto spoke to herself as she reached a street corner. Looking up at the building before recognizing the look from the internet.

It looked ever so slightly different than in the images. But, the images were pre-quarantine, so it made sense that it’d look different. There was even a small black box on the side of the door that wasn’t in the photos. She could tell it was a card scanner, which was reassuring that this building was finally getting up to date with security tech.

After slipping out of the endless parade of people, she pushed open the door to reveal the lobby. And it was pretty occupied by the elevators and seating, but there was much more room to breathe than outside.

Once she noticed the line of people to her right, she looked past them to see the reception desk. Walking to the back of the line behind a mom and little girl, looking towards the people by the elevators as she got closer to the front of the line.

“Wow…” She put her hand on her hip, “Do none of these people even think about using the stairs?” She murmured, which seemed to catch the attention of the little girl in front of her. Teto watched the girl turn to face her from the corner of her eye, putting her arm back at her side and turning her head back to face her curiously.

It had been a little while since Teto saw anyone look up at her with that admiration. She had been so occupied with all the legal things for her residency that she hadn’t even been around too many people. There was surface-level satisfaction at seeing that star-struck expression, but Teto failed to feel the satisfaction she used to.

“Hm?” The mother looked down at her daughter and very quickly turned to the person she was staring at, “Ah, sorry! She’s just youn-”

Teto met the mother’s gaze as the moderately older woman froze. Teto could feel her features being analyzed, and she immediately knew what this interaction was going to be.

“Excuse me, but are you Kasane Teto?” She nervously asked, embarrassed by her child, but also now aware as to why her daughter was staring so intently.

“Yeah, that’d be me.” Teto softly replied. She could feel her past-self confidently and brightly point at herself with her thumb and enthusiastically reply, but that wasn’t who she was anymore. She didn’t even wear her hair up in those twin-drills.

“Oh, well my daughter really loved that one song with the restaurant." She gently spoke, and the reason for the gentleness was quite clear to Teto.

“Obsolete Meat?” Teto asked, to which the mother just nodded.

Teto, for the most part, disguised her sudden wave of nausea. That was one of the songs she worked alongside with Miku after her own sudden fame from Mezmerizer. The composer was the same person too, so it was quite a memorable shoot. One of the first somewhat big songs she had as a person that was finally being accepted as part of the Idol world Crypton seemed to cultivate. People had even mistaken her for being on the Crypton idol group because of it, and there wasn’t a better feeling than reaching the visible top of her ambition.

“Oh? I loved that one too.” Teto replied with fake enthusiasm. She wasn’t lying, but still, she wasn’t doing good with any memories today.

“You were so cool…” The girl breathily spoke, still taken aback by seeing an Idol.

“Yeah, she watched the video again and again.” The mom replied, getting visibly nervous and glancing at the one person in front of them talking to the receptionist. She turned back to face Teto and asked in a rushed manner, “Could I get a photo of you two?”

“Uhm,” She didn’t know why she was hesitating, she never said no to kids, “Yeah, sure!” Her lessening enthusiasm and growing thoughtfulness was becoming apparent to the mom, but the girl was luckily oblivious.

The mom nudged her daughter towards Teto as she brought out her phone. Teto was now crouched to accommodate the girl’s shortness. The girl turned her body to face her mom, but glanced back with the never-disappearing amazement at Teto before finally looking at the phone camera.

“Say cheese!” Teto said in a flat, accidental mockery of her old-self. They always suggested she said it so that the fans heard more of her voice.

“Cheese!” The child enthusiastically beamed, accompanied by Teto.

The mom snapped a few photos before glancing behind herself at the still-occupied receptionist. Teto could now clearly see that she was trying to stall until their turn, and she didn’t understand why at the very second. Not until the girl turned back around.

“Where is Miku?”

. . .

The nausea that had just started to disappear only returned stronger. She didn’t respond to that question, she just froze. Her eyes glazed over the girl’s features as that name just repeated itself in her head. Hearing that name on the news earlier today was already jarring, but being expected to talk about it, not even to someone close to her but a stranger. She avoided this. Every time it happened to her, a friend like Gumi would bail her out of it.

Except, that was for questions about how she felt without Miku. This girl was asking how a person, who had been long accepted by the world to be dead, was doing. To a person who was so extremely close and connected with them too.

Teto didn’t really hear the mom speak to her daughter to come back, as the receptionist could finally handle them. Teto felt bad for not replying to the girl, she didn’t mean any harm. However, that didn’t stop Teto’s feelings from being stomped by memories of absence.

She slowly stood back up, now blankly staring at the tiled floor. This was one of the last spots she’d want to have a reaction, anywhere in public was an immediate no-go. So she pressed her nails into her palms to ground herself. Looking back up at the mom and daughter ahead of her. The girl was holding her mother’s hand, but she stared back at Teto with an apologetic expression without truly knowing why she felt sorry.

It wasn’t too long before Teto finally watched the two go towards the elevators, and was at the receptionist’s desk herself.

“Are you here to claim your keycard?”

“Ah, yeah.” Teto confirmed as she brought her Individual Number Card out of her pocket to prove her identity, as suggested by the website.

The receptionist took the card, reviewed it, checked the system, and then handed it back to Teto along with a keycard.

“Do you know where your room is?”

“Yes, top floor.”

“Alright then, have a good day.”

“Thanks, you too.” Teto nodded as she walked over to the packed elevator area.

She had already decided on what she was going to do. It wasn’t going to be fun, but she sure didn’t want to wait for her turn to get on the elevator. Nothing wrong with some exercise.

ー

Luckily, the apartment building was only six stories, so it didn’t take too much out of Teto to walk the stairs. And there were a few other people walking ahead of her who also seemed to dislike the line to the elevator.

As she opened the door to the sixth floor, she was greeted by a refreshingly empty hallway. Not filled to the brim like outside, nor sparsely populated like the stairs, but just a nice, large, and empty space. It wasn’t like Teto’d be out in the hallway for long, but she could still appreciate the serenity as she walked towards the right end of the hall.

At the end of the hallway on the right side was the door to her new home. It was a nice apartment building, and the wider than average hallway reinforced that fact. Those funds from her past were the only reason that she could get this place without any financial stress. She understood that sooner or later she’d need to get a job, and it wasn’t that she was lazy and didn’t want to get one. She just wanted to wait until she was out of Gumi’s home and fully settled into her own.

As Teto reached the door, she took out the keycard and tapped it on the sensor that was on the lower base of the handle. An indistinct click came immediately before Teto grabbed the handle and opened the door.

It was just as she had seen, a hallway with an empty room and bathroom on the right before opening to a bedroom area. A living room where the left hallway wall ended, and a kitchen in the corner behind it. A balcony door and open space between the bedroom and kitchen island.

It was nice and rather roomy unlike other apartments she looked at before truly understanding her budget.  Not to mention the already present furnishings such as the couch, coffee table, and TV. The building already put a mattress in place on the bed, no sheets though because that’d be more hotel-like than apartment building.

As she walked into the apartment she slowly spun around to see everything. Yes she had already seen it online, but seeing it in person was the true experience. The living room felt short with its furniture in comparison to the taller kitchen island behind it, but it for some reason felt more cozy that way.

As Teto went over to sit on the couch, she overestimated its height and rather than sitting on it comfortably and normally, instead fell and hit the back of her head on the couch back. Her legs hitting the low coffee table bottom before unconventionally sprawling out under it.

Teto groaned as her body slid down the couch and was in between sitting down on the floor and sliding back onto the couch cushions in a perfectly uncomfortable position.

“Ugh…” She groaned as she grabbed the edges of the cushions and moved to lay down across the couch. Her head laying against the arm rest, which wasn’t the most comfortable thing, but at least it wouldn’t cramp her neck laying on it that way.

After giving herself a moment of silence and peace, Teto felt around her pant’s pocket before pulling out her phone and opening her contacts list. At the top of it was Gumi, which only made sense, and was perfect as Teto was going to call her.

“Hello, I’m sorry but I cannot answer your call at the moment. Leave a message, and if I don’t call you back, then call me back later.”

“Huh…” Teto looked at the screen as it allowed her to record a message. She hung up and set her phone down before sitting up on the couch normally. Her legs at a diagonal angle as the couch was shorter than she remembered any couch being or the one in the photo.

Maybe if she got enough sleep last night the newly-sore feeling on the back of her head and shins could’ve been avoided as she would’ve noticed the height of it. Though she couldn't blame herself for last night’s unrest, that dream was far from her top pick. Still though, Gumi’s phone immediately sending Teto to voicemail was strange. It wasn’t like cell service was unavailable in Shibuya, or, actually maybe it was. Teto didn’t check any information like that before today, and probably wouldn’t.

With all of the traffic out there, it’d be a while before Gumi would make it to the apartment. And it wasn’t like Teto could imagine herself going back out there into the streets, trying to find Gumi’s car, and then get back in. Not to mention, she hardly got much sleep last night and there wasn’t much unpacking to do here without any of her belongings. So maybe it’d be okay to just rest a little. She felt slight guilt at the idea because it felt selfish, but it’s all she could imagine doing as she closed her eyes.

ー

Teto’s phone started to shake right next to her on the couch, letting out a rather generic ringtone as it caused her to stir awake. She slowly opened her eyes to look at the ceiling before realizing that she was waking up to a phone call and not an alarm. Both of them sharing the same sound did not help her learn to differentiate them at all.

She picked up the phone and raised it in front of her groggy face, her eyes focusing on the screen before noticing that it was Gumi calling. As if cold water was splashed onto Teto’s face she quickly woke up and accepted the call. Gumi wouldn’t know that Teto was sleeping, but she still felt like she was caught and in trouble.

“Um, hey Gumi!” She replied, trying to force her voice to not hint at her nap.

“Hey, I finally reached the apartment. Could you come down and help me with everything?” Gumi asked politely. Teto was used to these moments where she learned how much of an angel Gumi was for her, but it didn’t stop each one of those moments from surprising her.

“Oh, yeah. One second, I’ll be right there.” Teto replied as she quickly scrambled off the couch and adjusted her hair while she moved to the door.

“Alright then! See you in a second.”

Then Gumi hung up.

Teto always wondered why Gumi was always so nice to her during the whole three years she stayed with her. Roommates were supposed to get into arguments normally and get angry at each other for at least a few days. And yet that rarely happened with Gumi. Even after the first year of Teto going through her grief, Gumi was still so kind to her as if Teto had lost everything more recently.

She couldn’t wrap her mind around it, but all that mattered at the moment was going down stairs to grab her bags and bring them up to the apartment.

ー

As Teto walked into the lobby area she immediately found Gumi with her phone held next to her ear. As she approached Gumi, she patiently stood and waited for the phone call to end. Once Gumi looked at Teto, she said a few more words on the phone before hanging up and putting it into her pocket.

“Traffic got pretty good a little after you left.” Gumi said as she clasped her hands behind herself and smiled.

“Really? Wow, maybe I’m just having a bad luck day.” Teto chuckled.

“You think so?” Gumi asked as she started to walk outside the building towards her car with Teto following shortly behind.

“Oh yeah, I mean I got little sleep today, and when I got into my apartment I hit my head and probably bruised my shins.”

“Only two bad things?” Gumi playfully smirked at Teto as she unlocked the car and reached to grab the bags. Handing two to Teto and carrying two herself as she closed the door and started back towards the apartment, “Is that enough to constitute bad luck?”

“Well,” Teto shrugged off her reservations about sharing more, “A little girl recognized me today.”

Gumi’s smile turned to slight concern, her tone becoming more gentle and curious, “And how did that go?”

“Ah, well it went fine.” Teto responded unconfidently, “She asked me about Miku. I guess her mom didn’t tell her about what happened.” It felt easier to speak about Miku after getting proper sleep. Maybe that’s why today Teto had a more difficult time talking about her, she was just tired.

“Oh.” Gumi impulsively reacted as she hit the elevator call button.

“Come on Gumi!” Teto gently hit one of the bags Gumi was carrying with one of her own, “You don’t need to be so worried. It’s been three years, I’m good now. And if I’m not, it isn’t your responsibility.”

“I know I know…” Gumi sighed and returned her smile, “I just really care about you, y’know? I can’t help knowing some of your pain and not doing nothing.” She softly chuckled.

“We were all hurt Gumi, if anything I should be doing some nice stuff for you too.” Teto playfully replied.

“Oh?” Gumi mirrored Teto’s demeanor as they entered the finally empty elevator, “Then maybe you could pay for the cost of coming here and the groceries.”

“Well yea-” Teto froze and turned to fully face Gumi, “Groceries?”

“Oh yeah, I bought some basic stuff. Milk, those noodles you started eating recently, and a baguette or two.”

“Gumi, I think I love you.”

Both of them laughed as the elevator door opened. Walking towards the apartment and ready to start the cycle of going up and down until they fully unloaded everything.

ー

The time was nearing 6 PM, and everything was finally unloaded into the apartment. Gumi was putting groceries into the fridge, an unloaded bag of cutlery and dishes on the kitchen island. Teto finally finished unloading the bathroom items.

As she exited the bathroom she looked at Gumi who closed the fridge and met her gaze. Gumi smiled politely as Teto smiled back gratefully.

“You really do just love helping me, huh?” Teto said as she moved to lean against the kitchen island across from Gumi.

“You’re moving out, am I not allowed to end our relationship as roommates on the best note?” Gumi leaned against the counter as she bantered.

“You are. But I’m just saying that if I lived with Neru instead, she would’ve just tossed my stuff onto the sidewalk and told me, ‘good luck’ before driving off.”

Gumi loudly laughed at that, which might’ve meant exhaustion was getting to her. “Well, then it’s for the best that you got stuck with me.”

Before Teto could respond, Gumi’s phone beeped. Because it was lying down on the island, Teto could clearly read a text message notification from ‘Rin’ on the screen. Gumi sighed and picked up the phone, looking at the message.

“I really should get going.” Gumi admitted with some reluctance as she did somewhat want to make sure Teto settled into the apartment well.

“Oh yeah, you have that shoot tomorrow huh?” Teto had felt her expression also dull slightly at the message, but it wasn’t just because it meant Gumi had to go.

“Yeah, and Rin really wants me to get a good amount of sleep.” Gumi looked back up at Teto, and walked around the island to her.

“God aren’t you two just cute?” Teto teased as she hugged Gumi, who hugged her back.

“Okay, settle in. And if you need to talk for any reason just call me.”

“... Are you going to cry?” Teto smirked.

“What? No?” Gumi pulled away with a wide smile, giggling.

“Okay, good. Because I wasn’t going to either.” Teto wiped off her faux tears with her sleeve, letting go of Gumi.

“Alright, well. Talk to you later, Teto.” Gumi lightly patted Teto’s shoulder.

“Yep, don’t go and get too lonely without me.” Teto cheekily replied as Gumi walked to the door.

“That goes both ways.” Gumi turned and pointed a finger at Teto before leaving the apartment and closing the door behind her.

And then it was quiet.

Teto didn’t move and just continued watching the door. Because it was finally sinking in. The fact that she truly was on her own now. She could remember that brief period where she was going to have her own apartment, just to be invited to move in with Miku. So truly this was the first time she’d live alone.

No one to talk to.

No one to consider when doing things around the house.

Just herself, without any sound to fill her life.

She looked down at her feet as her mind tried to manage her thoughts and feelings. Her expression was blank, she felt unsure. She didn’t know what this meant for her, or how she was supposed to exactly feel about this.

When she originally planned to move out of her parents house, she was excited. She had all of these friends to hang out with and invite over. Even if she lived alone, she could still hang out with them and do her idol work. She didn’t imagine she would be at home so much because of all the stuff she could and was planning on doing.

She didn’t have that luxury here. She didn’t have those friends anymore. She had Gumi and Neru. Gumi lived far away, and she had her own things that made her busy. Teto didn’t want to disturb her in any way, and Gumi had already done so much for her. She didn’t want to invite Gumi to go out of her way and hang out in Shibuya often, nor did she want to go visit Gumi constantly because the two had already lived together for three years.

Neru lived closer, but in all honesty Teto hadn’t talked to her in a while. Since Miku disappeared, the trio they made seemed to weaken significantly. Teto imagined that for some reason, Neru would be difficult to talk to, or that because Teto hadn’t spoken to her in a while there’d be some level of resentment.

Teto looked around the apartment, all she really needed to do at this point was unpack the rest of the kitchen, and then the bedroom. She didn’t know what would come after that, but at this point she needed some sort of objective to keep her going until she could sleep.

She turned back to the kitchen and looked at the bag of dishes for a moment. She was still trying to understand it all, and she could feel herself hesitate to do anything as her mind tried to comprehend what exactly she was feeling. But she needed to do something in the moment.

She walked to the cupboards and began to unload the dishes into it. Although, the mundanity of the task didn’t stop her from trying to understand it all.

She didn’t have Neru and Gumi to hang out with often. That much was apparent to her, but surely she had other people right? She hung out with more people than just them and Miku. She hung out with other idols. The Crypton group.

They… They weren’t an option. Teto’s lips pursed into a thin line as the thought crossed her mind. Yes, they were once friends. But that was because of Miku. If it wasn’t for her, Teto never would have attended those get-togethers and parties. She wouldn’t have been near their statuses, and wouldn’t have even mattered anywhere near the scale they did in the idol world. And she already burnt that bridge. Didn’t she? It wasn’t like she was exactly on a friend-level basis with them anymore.

As Teto reached back into the bag, her hand grasped at nothing. She turned her focus back onto it. She unloaded all of the dishes already. It felt all too quick, but at least she had the cutlery to unload.

But opening a drawer and putting in the utensils wasn’t long enough of a task for her to zone out doing. It was so simple and quick, but apparently not simple enough for her mind to get back to work. And yet, did she even want to confront those feelings? Maybe not knowing how she felt about it was better.

However, she was curious.

And it wasn’t like she would put on any music to remove this silence.

Teto moved to the bedroom. Moving the bags off of the mattress and setting them on the floor. She opened one of them and pulled out pillows and sheets before tossing them unceremoniously onto the ground. She began to dress the bed.

So she didn’t really have friends that she could easily hang out with. That’s fine, some people do really well without being around others. It wasn’t like Teto was a huge extrovert either, she did enjoy the company of many select people. And fan interactions were always fun because they reminded her of the impact she had on others. And the interactions just felt great, taking photos and making someone’s month. But that was when she was an idol.

Right now she was just… Just an ex-celebrity. An idol who was an underdog for so long, who eventually found herself near the heart of the industry. Even if it wasn’t for the longest time, she reached her goal. But now she wasn’t even near her goal. It wasn’t even her goal anymore. Her only ambition was to make it as an idol, and now the idea tasted bitter. So what would her ambitions even be anymore? It wasn’t like she could start over with a clean slate. She’d always be an ex-idol to the world. Her red hair was far from discreet, so she wouldn’t be able to avoid what she was known as.

Teto’s mind had finally unraveled enough of the emotion for Teto to at least see the surface level of it. All of this left her feeling sad. Her life looked like it was just going to be empty now. Kasane Teto was nothing more than a husk of her former self.

. . .

She looked down at the finished bed, her eyes welling up with tears. She didn’t feel like she was going to sob, but she knew she was going to at least shed a few. 

She gave herself a few more seconds to compose herself before wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

She made the bed, and now the apartment was mostly unpacked, although it still felt slightly empty. She attributed that to having just moved in, as her room at Gumi’s also felt empty for a while after she arrived. She wanted  that as the reason it felt empty, not because of the reality of how she perceived her future. It was empty because she just settled in, nothing more or less.

Now the last thing she had to unpack was her clothes. After that she would go to bed, and tomorrow was going to hopefully show her what her life was going to be. Hopefully some new ambitions, or hopes, or at this point anything would come into her life so that tomorrow would allow her to work towards it.

Teto turned around to the closet. It was large, and she wasn’t exactly sure how much of it she would realistically use. However, she just needed to put her clothes in there so she felt like there was nothing to do so her mind could have an easier time resting.

Teto grabbed the handle of the closet and attempted to slide it open. Her expectation of a smooth sliding door met by the reality of a stubborn and stuck closet door.

Teto creased her brows and attempted again to open it with one hand. To which nothing happened except a straining feeling in her arm.

She bit her lip and slipped three fingers from her other hand into the inverted handle and tried again. This time pulling with such force that if the closet were to suddenly open, she’d fall backwards.

After trying this method two times, Teto felt her fingers were in pain, but at least the closet was opened a small amount.

Teto sighed and held her hands together as the slight pain subsided. She peaked into the small opening she made in the closet. The lighting from the ceiling let her see dust particles freely flowing around in the space.

She sighed once more and stepped away from the closet, deciding to let her future self to handle it instead. And as she went to turn around, she tripped over a bag and fell onto the bed.

She let out a groan this time and turned her body so she could sit up on the edge of the bed. She looked down to see the bag that she had tripped over and it was the same one she hadn’t opened in three years. The ‘01’ duffel bag that invoked such an emotional response from her earlier that day.

Teto’s body untensed as she looked down at it for a moment. She didn’t understand what compelled her to pick it up at the moment, but she did. Setting it down next to her on the bed.

The same bag she packed so long ago, and yet she was always too scared to open it. However, right now felt like the best moment if there was any. Maybe it would contain the thing that helped her figure out what she wanted to do.

Teto gingerly pinched the zipper between her thumb and pointer finger and slowly unzipped it. Her eyes meeting the gazes of two plushies that were long-since trapped in the bag. She slowly reached in and took the one with the red hair and twin-drills. She had big eyes and a simple smile on her face.

Teto’s thumb gently ran across the top loop of the twin drill, feeling the soft fabric. It hadn’t been touched in forever, but it was still the same plush.

Teto set it gently against one of the pillows before reaching into the bag and taking out a plush with sea foam green-colored hair. Her eyes were simple ovals, and it had a simple smile and expression. It looked goofy, but so did the other one.

Teto let out a sniffle as she looked at it for a moment longer. Before she brought it to her chest and hugged it tightly. Tighter than she hugged Gumi. Its hair was so soft, and its poofy twin tails fell on both sides of Teto’s lap.

“I’m sorry… I just… I need you to tell me what to do, okay? Just please… I miss you.” Teto mumbled into the plush as she cried.

As Teto eventually raised her head from the plush, a shape in the corner of her eye caught her attention. She saw the shape of fingers with unnatural colors grip the side of the closet door from the inside.

“Huuph!” An exclamation of effort was heard from the closet where the door was wedged open. And a figure fell out of the finally fully opened closet doors.

Teto stared in shock as the figure looked up from the ground and met her own gaze.

“W-What the FU-!”