Archive of Our Own ^beta

Today—or really the last few weeks all things considered—has been particularly rough. She’s gotten accidentally deadnamed multiple times by her family, and her dysphoria’s been particularly bad, and so much more has just happened in the last few weeks that it’s just been a perfect storm. She honestly feels like she is on the verge of tears. More than her first ever lost all those years back. She sluggishly made her way to the dorms, and towards Oguri’s room where she would be sleeping that night. She checked her bag and she had her medication (or as Oguri called them, her “pretty girl pills”) and a change of clothes, but she’s fine wearing Oguri’s clothes. Maybe the scent would distract her from how her head hurt, and that nagging, cruel voice in her head kept on hollering at her cruel and vapid things. She wonders why her girlfriends still put up with somebody as miserable as her. She wonders why they put up with somebody like her. 

She’s always putting herself down, always so unassuming, always so unimpressive, it calls out. She doesn’t deserve all of this. And that part of her yells out that she’s not even a real girl, that they're too nice. She opened the door, walking forward. Really what was she—Nature had walked into something soft and warm, completely knocking her out of her ruminations. She quickly stumbled back before looking up. There was her ashen-haired girlfriend staring back at her.

“You’re upset.” Oguri blankly stated, startling Nature out of her spiraling thoughts. “What is it about?”

“I—It’s nothing…” She sighed. Oguri’s gaze didn’t falter. She seemed unconvinced. “I just had a rough day, that’s all”

“I see, I see…” She definitely did not fully believe her. She squinted. Her ears flicked. She opened her mouth and— 

“Hey, my loves!” Air Shakur called out, audibly excited. Oguri perked up, a more cheery expression and Shakur’s expression softened. Oh. Maybe she was right. She is just unimportant, she really is just a third— “Nature? Are you like okay?”

“I’m…” Something was dripping down her face, she sucked in a shaky breath. “It’s…I’m fine…” She wasn’t and she knew it damn well. But they shouldn’t burden themselves with her, she’s just an extra in their stories, right? Somebody like her could never be something, right? She felt her ribs crack as Oguri tightly hugged her. And like grass shattering with a loud crack, a sob had escaped her, and Oguri quickly broke away. She quickly covered her face to hide the tears. Another bubbled out and soon she was crying on the floor beside the bed of one of her girlfriends.  Oguri sat quietly beside her, humming an unfamiliar melody, while letting Nature lean into her. Shakur squatted in front, whispering sweet nothings.

She hiccuped out “Wh—why d–do y–y–you—” A heaving and awkward breath cutting her off. She tried to start again, but her voice was too hampered by her tears for her to be all too coherent. “I’m—I’m… j–j-just…”

Shakur didn’t let her continue, instead shushing her before interjecting, “Because we love you. I don’t care if you are a side-character, main-character, or whatever the hell you say—you’re you, and I’d rather have that than anything else and Oguri would say the same thing.” Nature slowly dropped her hands, her makeup smudged and smeared. “There’s our girl.” Tears still streamed down as Shakur firmly pulled her into a tight embrace, and soon Nature was met with a tight hug from her other girlfriend as well.

“You’re always amazing, honey,” Her voice delicate, she tightened her embrace around Nature, feeling her heave against her forearms with each sob. “We’ll be here for you no matter what” And Oguri stated it like it was a cosmic truth—and maybe it is one. Nature desperately clutched Shakur. She wailed and sobbed, weeks of terrible feelings, months of dysphoria’s nagging drain on her, she let it all out. And her girlfriends stayed there, refusing to let her go. Shakur kept on cooing out sweet nothings, gentle “everything will be okay”’s and “just let it all out”’s, and Oguri returned to singing that same unfamiliar melody.

And when the tears have stemmed their downpour, and Nice Nature’s breaths grew more steady, she let herself bask in the warmth of her girlfriends. She let out a soft sigh. “Y–you… you two are too good for me…” Her voice was lower than usual, distinguishably more masculine, especially with how her vocal chords were hoarse from her wails.

“We’re not too good for you” Oguri countered, “You deserve love” She squished Nature in her arms again.

“I meant that…” She let out a small huff. “You’re right” There was no use fighting it. She yawned. She could fall asleep right here if she really felt like it, she was definitely more than comfortable enough, and the warmth was definitely making her drowsy.

Shakur noticed. “Let’s just get you cleaned up a bit, dear, since you probably don’t want to wake up feeling all gross and having your makeup still on, right?” She slid one of her arms away from Nature, before pulling her head in and peppering her cheek with light kisses. They’re soft and controlled, but they are more than enough to make her melt away. And suddenly she promptly pulled away. The lack of extra warmth sends a shiver down her spine.

“I’ll wash your hair, honey” Oguri all too confidently says as she undoes Nature’s twin pigtails. She can hear Shakur getting the bath ready for her.

Oguri always has had her quirks. The way she calls Nature ‘Honey’ not as if she was referring to her in the standard sense of the petname, but as if she was calling her sweet like honey every time. Or how she always struggled with words yet knew how to make her feel loved no matter what. Or how she would always offer her food whenever she seemed upset. Or even just how the shampoo and conditioner she uses smells of honey and lavender, and the bodywash of nectarine and wildflowers. It all feels distinctly Oguri to her.

And right now she’s laying in a bath while her ashen-haired girlfriend is slowly but surely washing her long, auburn hair. She runs surprisingly nimble fingers through, breaking up all the knots. The gentle tugs on her scalp and the gentle massaging motions have melted away any tension she has left in her body. She’s content. She knows she’s exposed, even if the bubbles on the surface of the bath obscure her form. But doesn’t mind it as much, both of her girlfriends have seen her in such an unveiled state before, and they still loved her, and even if it’s still a bit terrifying, she knows those two don’t judge her for her body.

She’s happy. She feels like she’s in heaven, and—

“Cute…” Oguri mumbled, snapping Nature out of her haze. She let out a small squeak as she flushed red instantly, her ears twitching, and before she can say anything, Oguri kissed her on the forehead. If Shakur’s are soft and controlled, Oguri’s are hungry and forceful. Her brain has completely fried itself at this point and it takes her several moments to even realize Oguri is saying something. 

“Honey?” She waved her hand innocently in front of Nature’s face. “I finished with your hair”

“I–Thank–uh” She’s still a bit incoherent. She bobs half of her head under the water, hiding her still burning blush before being met by another kiss from Oguri, earning a gasp—well, more of a large amount of bubbles in the tub since her nose and mouth were under the water.

Once she’s all dried off and in something comfortable, she flops into the bed, before being tightly embraced from both of her girlfriends. And now that she’s sandwiched between her two girlfriends in bed, her struggle to stay awake has become insurmountable. Her chin is nuzzled in Oguri’s shoulder and she can feel Shakur’s breath on her back. She wants to bask in this warmth and in their loving embrace, but the same warmth is making her eyelids heavier and heavier and the closeness to her girlfriends is only quieting the nasty and cruel thoughts and feelings that had made her break apart not too long ago.

And in the morning, she lets out a small yawn. She feels Oguri nuzzle her head a bit more into her and, with visual confirmation, that somehow Shakur had ended up lazily flopped over her like a weighted blanket. She wants to stretch or something but her dears are definitely in the way here.

Oguri is not good in the morning, she’s slow to wake and more aloof than she normally ever is. Unlike Shakur. And when that black-haired girl stirs, Nature knows she’ll immediately get to work to make Nature feel like the most important girl to ever be. She loves these two too much.

“Morn… dear” She drowsily grumbles before freeing herself from the tangled mess of limbs with surprising ease. “Coffee?” She stretched and yawned before continuing “I made sure to bring the one you like”

“That… that would be nice” Nature’s voice is husky and low. She completely forgot about her morning voice, but… Shakur just seems to not care. Nature knows she’ll be told by the punkish girl that her morning voice is just another delightful facet of her if she’s to complain about it. And honestly, she’s been starting to believe her more and more.

Shakur has her own facets that Nature can’t help but be infatuated by. The way she always knew what to say to make Nature know she was loved, or how she sometimes ended up with oil on her face from whatever machine she was building, or how she’ll cut through whatever self-deprecating things Nature is saying to affirm that she is more than enough, or even just how she makes little gifts and curios for Nature and Oguri on a frequent basis. 

Now without Shakur in bed, Nature slowly rose out of bed, pulling Oguri up with her. The ashen-haired girl didn’t mind, her tail slowly swaying as if she’s still contently asleep, even as she is walking behind Nature with her head stuck on her shoulder. 

And by the time Shakur returns with Nature’s coffee—it being done in the exact way that the auburn-haired girl likes—she’s mostly changed back into her usual clothes (Oguri not so much, neither are sure that their ashen-haired girlfriend is even fully awake either). Nature’s mind is still adrift though. 

“You should take your pills with this” Shakur warmly states, holding the cup of fresh coffee out for her, “Unless you already have.” Of course she hasn’t forgotten about Nature’s tendency to forget to take her hormones whenever they all sleep together, and she was completely right this time. She does have to thank Tachyon for being so willing one of these days. The scientist any other time would be asking for her to try some horrifying concoction or any of that, but whenever Nature asked about her HRT, her expression quickly became serious. She’d always immediately focus on procuring whatever she needed. 

She gladly accepted the coffee, before setting it aside. She may as well. She pulled Shakur close towards her before smooching her, feeling her girlfriend’s tail sway quickly right after. To her, it was better than any coffee could be. The coffee itself afterwards was almost just a nice treat. And Oguri’s still half-asleep.

“Come on dear” Nature lightly prodded, before kissing her on the forehead, earning a half-lidded and enchanted look from Oguri. She knows it’ll be a slow morning. She has training later in the afternoon, but for now she may as well just enjoy it.

And maybe that nagging voice is silent.  Instead, she tells herself she deserves this all. She deserves their love, their care and compassion, their warmth, all of it. She tells herself Shakur and Oguri are right. And when those terrible feelings arise again—for it cannot always be sunny all the time and those storms are sure to come and pass—she knows her girlfriends will be there to quell that agony.