Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Five pulled into the street, stopping a few houses down from Diego’s place. The driveway was already packed as usual—with Wanda, the family’s unreliable Volkswagen Vanagon and Anita and Ronnie’s smaller Volvo. Allison’s black pickup was parked right up front. Luther’s battered old car sat crookedly near the curb, probably the one to block everyone else when it would be time to leave.

He slid his black Ford Mustang behind a white van two houses over, across from Diego’s, cut the engine, and stayed put. From his angle, he could see the flicker of lights and shadows shifting through the windows, despite the white curtains. The noise carried too—laughter, chatter, the occasional shriek or wail from a child—all spilling from the house, full of life, like a warm welcome.

Family gatherings always ended up at Diego and Lila’s place now. The twins were too young to drag out of the house, and it was easier for everyone to come to them. The arrangement worked. Each sibling brought something—a dish, a drink, or just their company.

Something utterly normal. Mundane even.

Family time.

Something none of them knew how to do at first, but had slowly come to figure out as life in this new timeline stretched on without any trace of impending doom.

Five tried to remember the last time he showed up—not because he didn’t want to, not really, but because the long hours at the CIA had been keeping him busy recently.  Missions, debriefs, reports.  

He needed an assistant.

Sometimes, he would also feel crowded, too raw, or too worn out after too many hours dealing with people—being the good cop, but most likely playing the bad cop. He didn’t know how to be around his siblings without biting their heads off or closing off in silence. It was easier to stay away, to keep his own company, nursing a glass of whiskey.

Or out. 

Somewhere dark yet loud, with someone he didn’t know, who didn’t care, and who certainly wouldn’t see him the next day.

Besides, he never quite shook the feeling of being the outsider. Like now, looking in from the street at the warm picture of a family that, somehow, Diego had built. 

A wife. Kids. A family who cared.

Maybe they’d adopt a dog next.

Sometimes the thought pricked at him. Sometimes he wished. 

Wanted.

But he never let himself desire for long.

He was an expert at burying everything under concrete after all.

That, and taking off, always running away when things got too complicated in his head. Working for the CIA, being sent away every few weeks and now, was the perfect excuse to not be around too much, or too long. There were always orders. Assignments. Undercover cases. Travels.

Freedom on a leash.

Sometimes, he wondered if he should cut off the leash.

Vanish.

Tonight, though, there wasn’t any excuse not to. He’d had the day off, slept off the exhaustion of a five-day mission out of state. Showing up seemed—if always a little bit awkward at first—the sensible thing to do.

Luther had called first. Then Klaus and Allison. 

And then Diego. And Lila. 

Everyone was adamant that the Grinch showed up tonight. 

He did miss the chaos sometimes. Missed his circus: Luther glued to the TV with Diego, Klaus wearing blue medical gloves and a mask, picking at his own vegetables in sealed bags. Allison and Lila with a drink in hand, but still managing conversations while keeping an eye on all of the kids. And the grown-ups.

He brought along a decent bottle of whiskey and tequila, knowing that between the two, there was generally something for someone to drink. For once, he wasn’t that late, it was just after six, and he’d be able to share an appetizer with everyone.

That was, if he managed to get out of the car before the neighbors decided to call the cops because a suspicious black car with a suspicious man in black was lurking in front of their house.

“Cinco, you’re here! Shoes off, we’re in the living room.” Diego welcomed him with a warm smile, like he could finally relax now that he had arrived. 

Safe and sound, probably. 

Still around, certainly.

He gave a nod in greeting and settled in the corner with a glass of the amber liquid.  He’d commended Klaus on staying off the hard liquor, and Allison on showing up and actually staying around. Luther had also kept him company, worried about his job or trying to learn more about his social circles.

By ten, the evening was winding down. Lila and Diego had been scarce, running back and forth to settle the kids. At one point, they left with Anita and Ronnie, escorting the children to their family next door so the young and the elderly could sleep while the Hargreeves carried on with their gathering. One by one, the others trickled out. Allison and Klaus were the last to linger as Claire wanted to cling to family time for as long as she could.

Five stood up, placed his empty glass on the counter, and pulled on his coat. He was halfway to the door when Lila’s voice stopped him. “Oi, gramps. Stay a bit longer, yeah? We barely see you these days.”

He paused, glancing at his watch.

“It’s not like you’re in a rush, are you? No kids. No parents. Now we can finally be all yours.” Lila winked while crossing her arms, her tone playful but firm. “One more drink won’t kill you.”

Diego stepped in behind her, hand on her waist, nodding in agreement. “She’s right. You’re always bailing early or got some work. Stay for a bit.”

Five hesitated, eyeing them both. With a small sigh, he relented, removing his jacket and placing it back up on the hook. “Alright. One more drink, then I'm off.”

The three of them returned to the sitting room, fresh drinks in hand. Five sank into the armchair, nursing his whiskey while Lila lounged on the couch next to Diego. The room felt quieter now, the hum of music filling the spaces left by the absence of the others.

“How’s the CIA treating you?” Diego asked, leaning back with his feet on the coffee table. The tone was casual, but his eyes never quite left Five.

“As well as can be expected,” Five replied, his voice dry. “Busy, brutal, and full of people who shouldn’t be trusted with scissors, let alone intelligence.”

Lila smirked, taking a sip from her glass. “Sounds about right. So all work and no play? You seeing any lucky ladies? Any lucky guys? Is that why we haven’t seen you lately, along with work?”

Five raised an eyebrow. “No, not currently.”

Lila tilted her head, her smirk widening. “So you have been seeing people, then.”

Five chuckled softly, swirling his drink. “What about it?”

“Oh, nothing,” Lila replied, but Five caught how she gave Diego a side glance.

Five froze for a moment, his amusement slipping. He rolled his eyes but avoided looking at either of them, focusing instead on swirling the liquid in his glass. It was easier to stay silent than confirm she was right. That he’d been seeing people. But no one that he’d allow to stay. So he avoided the way Diego’s eyes narrowed. Not in suspicion, but in thought.

He didn’t want attachment. Couldn’t find the effort to build something born out of lies. Diego and Lila were lucky to have found each other. But Ray had left Allison. And neither Luther nor Klaus seemed to settle either. 

They were too damaged to find anyone who would understand.

Lila leaned closer to Diego, murmuring something too low for Five to catch. When he glanced up, he noticed Diego’s expression shift—thoughtful first, then determination, followed by a small nod.

Lila grinned, stood up, and crossed the room to Five. She pulled the glass from his hand, set it on the table, then tipped his chin up with her fingers.

“Oi, old man,” she said, her voice softer now, almost teasing. “What do you say we mix things up tonight?”

Before he could respond, she pressed her lips to his. It was brief but firm, and when she pulled back, Five stared at her, startled. His gaze darted to Diego, expecting some kind of reaction, but Diego only watched from his seat, his expression unreadable.

“He’s up for it if you are,” Lila said, her smirk widening, not needing to look back at Diego to know.

Five froze, looking between them. “Up for what, exactly?” His voice was cold. “If this is a joke…” 

Lila leaned closer, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “No joke. Anything you want, Sweetheart. We’ve thought and talked about it for some time now…”

Five’s gaze flickered between Lila and Diego. He knew them well enough to understand they wouldn’t suggest something like this without a plan in mind. Lila’s smirk widened as she perched on the arm of his chair, her eyes glinting with challenge.

He’d thought they’d reached peace, but sometimes, when he remembered the past, he always wondered how things could be forgiven.

How he could be forgiven.

Maybe that was the cruel revenge she was finally dishing out? It wouldn’t be far-fetched to use sex as a trap. A weapon. Except, would Diego be on board with her plan? 

Diego cleared his throat, leaning back in his chair. “She’s saying,” he began, his voice steady but his fingers tapping on his glass, “that we’re open to sharing. If you’re interested.”

Five snorted, leaning back into the armchair. “Sharing,” he repeated, his tone half-amused, half-disbelieving. “That’s quite the proposition for a casual Friday night, don’t you think?”

Lila chuckled, leaning forward, her hand resting lightly on Five’s shoulder. “C’mon, old chap. Live a little.” Her voice lowered, playful but laced with something more daring.

Five studied her carefully, then shifted his gaze to Diego, who was watching the exchange with an expression that was hard to read—equal parts curiosity and acceptance. “And you’re… what? Completely on board with this?” Five gestured vaguely between them, his brow furrowed.

Diego shrugged. “We talked about it. It’s rare that the kids are all down at the same time. We’re never alone. Neither of us are particularly in the mood at the same time nowadays. Although this evening seemed to have lined up well.” He paused, then added with a tight grin, “Besides, I trust Lila. And I trust you.”

Five swirled his drink again, his mind racing. It wasn’t like the thought hadn’t crossed his mind before—he’d had fleeting moments where both Lila’s wit and Diego’s unwavering loyalty struck a nerve he didn’t quite know how to deal with. He had preferred to bury any idle thought whenever they appeared. But this? Actually proposing to him to join them? This was something else entirely. He raised an eyebrow at Lila. “And you’re sure this isn’t just the alcohol talking?”

Lila leaned closer, her grin softening into something more sincere. “Oh, it for sure had something to do with it, but the offer’s on the table, Five. In good faith, cross my heart. No pressure. But I think you’d find we’re pretty convincing.”

Diego shifted slightly, setting his empty glass down and leaning forward, his voice dropping to something quieter, more serious. “Look, man. You’ve had our backs more times than I can count. Maybe it’s time someone had yours.” He paused, before insisting, a serious look on his face. “We want you.” He stared at his lips, licking his own. “Both of us do.”

Five’s eyes narrowed as he considered their words. He wasn’t one to make impulsive decisions—but then again.

“All right,” Five said finally, his voice steady, though his expression remained unreadable. “One off?”

“One off and… or…” Lila smirked as she climbed onto his lap, straddling him. “We’ll see.”

Five stiffened slightly in the armchair, his hands resting on the armrests as she settled over him. The answer wasn’t satisfying. But maybe that was the sign he had been waited for. If things got weird… it would give him some reasons to finally leave everything behind.

His gaze flickered to Diego again, but before it could linger, Lila’s fingers were on his jaw, firmly turning his face toward her. Her dark eyes locked onto his, a mixture of amusement and excitement gleaming in them.

“If you keep looking over at him,” she warned, her voice low and teasing, “I’m going to assume you’d rather be making out with him than me. So choose.”

“You,” he murmured, barely audible. His throat tightened as Diego’s chuckle cut through the room, low and knowing.

“Told you he always had a thing for you, Babe,” Diego quipped, his tone light but carrying an edge of satisfaction.

Lila narrowed her eyes at Diego in mock annoyance.

“You two talk about me an awful lot,” Five noted, raising a sardonic brow.

His voice snapped Lila’s attention back to him. Whatever retort she might have had vanished as she pressed a finger to his lips. That same finger tugged at his lower lip, slid down the sharp line of his chin, then traced the edge of his jaw. His mouth stayed parted, mesmerized by the light and teasing touch. His breath caught and the small sound only drew a pleased curve to her smile. The moment her mouth captured his again, it was as though everything else dissolved. The press of her lips, the heat of her body grinding against him, the sheer reality of what was happening—it was overwhelming.

Fuck it, Five thought, his resolve breaking as his hands rose to grip her hips, pulling her closer. Their kiss deepened, tongues moving together as her hips shifted, pressing over his growing hardness, coaxing a quiet moan from his throat.

She tugged at his tie, the fabric loosening with a sharp pull as she undid the top few buttons of his shirt. Her hands trailed quickly down his chest. Her fingers paused at his belt buckle, her eyes lifting to meet his, silently asking.

He nodded, and she didn’t hesitate. Her fingers made quick work of the buckle and then the zipper, her pace unhurried but purposeful. She slid slightly back off his lap, balancing more on his knees, looking down fascinated at his fully erect cock between them.

Five’s head tipped back against the chair, eyes squeezed shut as his breath hitched. He focused on the slow, deliberate way her hand caressed the tip, every stroke pulling him deeper into the sensation. When he finally adjusted, his eyes flicked open, drawn to Diego on the other side of the room. The other man leaned casually against the sofa, arms sprawled along the backrest, watching with a slight, knowing smirk.

“She’s good with her fingers, huh?” Diego said smugly.

Five’s jaw tightened as he swallowed back another moan. His eyes stayed locked on Diego’s, defiant, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing him unravel so easily.

Lila didn’t miss it.

Her movements slowed, her hand wrapping around him with an almost lazy rhythm. “What?” she asked, her voice sharp with mischief. “You’d rather watch him than what I’m doing?”

Five faltered, caught off guard by the question. He’d felt the prickle of Diego’s intense stare, his attention split between the couple’s actions. He thought he could ignore the other man’s presence while Lila touched him, but his gaze kept flicking back between the two, drawn to the man watching him, watching his wife pleasure him, watching them. 

Intense. Assessing. Dark.

His silence lingered just a moment too long—enough for her to slide off entirely and get on her knees between his legs. She smirked up at him, wearing that classic Lila expression that always spelled trouble. Her eyes flicked to Diego, then back to Five, mischief glinting, lighting up her face.

“Okay,” she said, her voice rich with teasing confidence. “I’ll make it so you can’t help but watch me.”

“Never thought I’d see the day you'd be on your knees between my legs, Crazy Lady.” He quipped, though the subtle shift of his hips betrayed his anticipation.

Her hand wrapped around him with steady pressure as she leaned in, confident, her tongue darting out to tease him from base to tip, leaving a trail of heat that made him shudder. Her lips parted, taking him in slowly, her pace deliberate and torturous.

“Fuck,” Five muttered under his breath, his voice hoarse as his head tilted back against the chair. His legs spread wider as his hand instinctively tangled in her hair, fingers gripping just enough to guide her as his body struggled between melting into the chair and tensing with every flick of her tongue.

Across the room, Diego’s voice cut through the haze. “Oi! If I’m not participating and can’t see much from here, you need to put on more of a show, Cinco.”

Through laboured breaths, Five’s eyes flicked toward Diego, catching the smug grin on his face. Fine, Five thought, if he wanted a show, he’d give him one. His grip on Lila’s hair tightened, and he shifted his hips, meeting her movements with careful thrusts.

The sudden change in pace earned him a muffled moan from Lila, her eyes flashing up at him. The vibration sent shocks down his spine, and a deep groan escaped his throat.

Diego chuckled, standing from his spot and walking over to the two. His smirk was all playful arrogance as he slapped Lila’s ass, making her jolt slightly but not miss a beat. “That’s more like it,” he said, his tone light. “You look good with a cock in your mouth, Babe. Although, you might want to slow down, unless you want him to tap out early.”

The jab made Five’s jaw tighten, and he thrust harder, the rhythm more insistent now. Tap out early? Not a chance. Diego’s taunt only spurred him on.

“Come on then, you two,” Diego said, his toothy smile widening. “Upstairs. Enough foreplay in the living room. Didn’t we have some toys to show him, Babe?”

Lila pulled back with a pop, keeping her doe eyes locked on his hazy ones as she gave one last lick at the pearly drop of pre-cum beading on the tip. Smirking, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Oh yeah,” she said. “Think he’s ready for that? Wouldn’t want to scare him off already.” Her teasing gaze flicked toward Five.

The sudden loss of contact snapped him out of the haze. Five blinked. “Hold up—what?” he muttered, brows knitting as the situation sank in.

Diego crossed his arms, leaning casually against the armchair, his smirk daring Five to push back. “Dunno. Can’t imagine Five being one for wanting to use them.”

Five’s eyes narrowed, the heat of defiance cutting through his daze. “More like I don’t need to use them.”

“Who said anything about need? It’s for enhancement, not assistance.” Diego grumbled as Lila slid her hand up Five’s thigh, nails grazing just enough to make him twitch. She smirked, tilting her head in mock sympathy. 

“Forget it for tonight. But trust me—you’d like one. It shuts that one up.” Her eyes flicked toward Diego, sly and wicked.

That earned a low chuckle from Five, his lips twisting into a half-smirk that sharpened his features. The look was confident, deliberate—making his cheekbones and angular features stand out even more.

He saw how the shift from aloof to smug intensity set her off. Lila’s pupils dilated slightly, her tongue flicking over her lower lip as though savoring him all over again. The subtle roll of her hips betrayed her rising excitement.

Diego, still grinning, stepped closer, offering Lila his hand to help her up. She took it, her fingers brushing his palm as he pulled her effortlessly to her feet. He didn’t let go immediately, leaning in slightly to murmur something teasingly low in her ear that made her smirk deepen.

Then, without missing a beat, Diego extended his other hand toward Five, raising a brow as though to say your move.

Finally, with a resigned sigh, Five leaned forward, placing his hand in Diego’s.

The lock clicked shut.

“So we’re not interrupted,” Diego explained as he saw the raised brow the smaller man sent him. “Habit man… Look, you never know.”

Before Five could make a sarcastic reply about a burglar barging in the one night they were alone, a hand caught his jaw, yanking his head up into a kiss that stole the air from his lungs—hard, demanding, tequila-laced. A second hand was already tugging his trousers and boxers down, wrapping again around him with a squeeze that made him gasp into Diego’s mouth.

That was all the opening they needed. Between Diego and Lila, he was stripped in seconds before they took a step back to look over him, both sporting the same hungry eyes. 

“So,” he started, voice dry but steady, though he could feel heat crawling across his skin under their gaze.“You’ve talked this through.”

“Oh, something like that." Lila confirmed, before shoving him down the bed with a grin. "About time you joined us, I'd say.”

“How about we give you a show?” Diego quipped as he stood behind Lila. His mouth found her neck, dragging open kisses down to her collarbone while his hands stripped her jeans. 

She stepped out of them, but Five saw the opening and darted his hand, catching her foot. His fingers skimmed her calf before guiding her leg up onto the bed beside him, keeping her open, caressing the leg up and down.

Diego’s hand slipped into her panties and pushed deep without a pause, crooking his fingers until she moaned against his throat. Her hips rolled, grinding against his hand.

“She’s dripping already, Cinco,” Diego growled.

Lila laughed breathlessly, tugging her top over her head. Diego helped her by unhooking her bra with the other hand. Her breasts bounced free before her husband claimed one in his grasp, squeezing. “You’re showing off to him.” His mouth bit at her shoulder, eliciting a moan from her.

“Wasn’t that the point? I thought we had to ask our guest how he wants us too,” she teased, her eyes locked on Five’s as her fingers joined her husband’s between her thighs, pushing them deeper.

“Yeah, seems only fair,” Diego rasped, pinching her nipple while he fingered her opening. His gaze was sharp, daring. “How do you want us?”

Five licked his lips before answering by yanking her panties down himself, needing to see what the thin scrap of fabric was hiding. Beneath, two of Diego’s fingers framed one of Lila’s, the three digits working in unison as they slid steadily in and out of her slick heat. Five pushed her thighs wider, intent on watching every shiver, every twitch of her body as it took the stimulation.

“She’s gorgeous, right?” Diego remarked, smug. “How do you want her?” He added a hint of challenge in his tone.

“What did you have in mind?” Five asked, curious, though he had an inkling about what he wanted next. His fingers twitched, wanting to join theirs. Or his mouth over her swollen clit.

“Hmmm… can we tie you up?” Lila grinned, eyes half closed, her own finger sliding faster along Diego’s.

“Not a chance.” Five huffed a spurt of air out of his nose.

“Oh, c’mon, if this doesn't scream trust, I don't know what will.”

“Tying you up?” His mouth moved into that half-smirk, not completely certain of his request but testing the waters. 

Lila opened her eyes fully to check in with her husband, giving a playful shrug. 

“Told you he was a control freak,” she laughed. “I’m up for it. Go take the ropes out, Love?”

“Off the bed, Cinco. And you,” Diego slapped her ass with a crack that made her yelp and giggle.“In position. Ass up, Baby.”

“Stop watching and start helping.” Diego pointed to the top left of the bed as he made his way to the right side, hand dipping under the mattress. Five’s hand slid under, feeling around until he felt the restraints, pulling one out. “You tie the left wrist, I'll do the other. Halter Hitch, easy release if she wants to.”

Five complied, moving to the other side of the bed, doing the simple knot. He could feel Lila’s gaze burning into him the whole time, as her hips rolled impatiently against nothing, shifting on the bed, chasing friction. “Come on, boys,” she whined, grinning through it. “I’m getting dry here.”

“Diego, go put that big mouth to use, for once?” He let it be a question rather than a demand–at least for now, as he made his way to the bottom of the bed, feeling around for the second half. Pulling out the other piece of rope, he continued to do the same knot, as Diego plunged his tongue into his wife. 

Lila let out a moaning “Finally” as Diego’s grip on her hips pulled her toward him, limited only by the restraints on her wrists.

Just as Five finished securing the last knot, Diego’s hand shot out and caught his wrist. His fingers replaced his mouth as he continued to work his wife out with practiced precision.

“Want a taste?” Diego smirked.

Five moved to shove him aside, but Diego pushed him back. “Not those lips.” He gripped Five’s nape before claiming his lips again, sharing the slick taste of his wife.

“You put up with that thing on his face?” Five threw to Lila, the jab hiding his breathless state. 

“Oh, believe me,” she gasped into the bed, turning her flushed face to look at them. Her hips ground shamelessly into Diego’s fingers as she watched them with need. “I’ve tried to shave that bloody thing off. Several times. Grows back faster than black mold in a humid room!” 

Five’s mouth curved as he pressed two fingers over Diego’s mustache before kissing him again.

“Better,” he smirked, giving his brother’s chest a light shove. “Thanks for the sample. Now go back to using that Brillo Pad as what I can only assume is extra stimulation down there.”

“Oh?” Diego’s chuckle rumbled low. “And where exactly do you think you’re off to?”

“I believe we were in the middle of something earlier.” Five joined Lila on the bed, legs going over the rope, kneeling in front of her, a hand tangled in her hair, tilting her chin up so she met his eyes, daring. His cock dragged across her swollen lips, smearing pre-cum with deliberate tease.

“Open,” he ordered, grinning.

Fuck, he was hard, harder than before even and couldn’t wait until her lips wrapped around him again. Lila let out a throaty moan and he took the opportunity to plunge into her open mouth. She grinned around his cock before another gasp made her gag slightly. She relaxed, accepting his deep thrust. Looking up, he saw Diego’s mouth was indeed back on her lower lips, his hands tightly gripping her ass, helplessly grinding back and forth.

Five fisted her hair tighter as he set the rhythm, hips snapping forward, matching Diego’s pace. The vibration of her muffled moan traveled straight through Five, tingling down his spine and making his balls tighten. 

“Shit,” he hissed, pressing closer, until her throat swallowed him whole. He looked down, watching her glossy lips stretch around him as he thrust slightly on his knees, paying close attention to signs and cues.

Diego pulled back to catch his breath, making eye contact with Five. Lila’s back moved back, chasing after him. He gave her ass another playful slap before replacing his tongue with a couple of fingers, curling hard. “Here, you’re insatiable.” He said fondly. Lila cried out, muffled by the cock stretching her throat. 

“Let me know what you’re thinking, bro.”

Five cut Diego off promptly with a growl, teeth bared.  “Seriously? Can you not bro me right now?!” 

He could feel her chuckling all around him. Five gave a harsher thrust, pulling whatever breath she had away.

Diego raised his hand up in a feign surrender. “‘Kay, ‘kay. I just need to know if you're planning on finishing up there or something else, cos so far, I've not had any attention, so either I'm gonna use my wife or you are.”

“Then—” whatever those two had discussed clearly flashed through Lila’s mind in that moment. She moaned, sucking harder, grinding faster into her husband’s hand.

Five’s hand tangled in her hair gave a warning tap—a signal. She had only a small window to release if she didn’t want his load in her throat.

Instead, she doubled down on her efforts, and—

“Fu—” Five broke. 

With a strangled curse, he came hard.

Lila swallowed as much as she could, the rest dripping from the corner of her lips as she gasped for air, Five’s softened cock slipping from her swollen lips.

“You look good cumming, Cinco. Can’t blame you, man. She’s good with her mouth.” He chuckled. “Good girl, your turn.”

Diego gripped her hip, working his wrist ruthlessly.

“You’re so wet, Babe. Your clit’s all swollen.”

His thumb circled it as his fingers pumped into her pussy, until her whole body seized beneath them—release shaking her to pieces.

“Let it out, Babe. No need to keep it down tonight. Cum for us.”

Five sagged back on his knees, watching her ride the wave, her chest heaving, mouth wet, wrists still straining at the ropes. His voice came out rough, uneven.

“Then where are you planning on getting off?”

Diego’s eyes glittered. “You.”

“Not in my ass.”

“Yet,” Diego shot back with a wicked grin. “The night’s still young.”

Five narrowed his eyes but curious despite himself. “So, what then?”

Diego leaned back, fingers dragging slowly from his wife’s soaked pussy before licking them clean. “Always wondered if you’re just a smart mouth… or if you can actually use it for something more than pissing people off.” He stared at Five’s mouth, leaving no doubt on where he wanted to go next. “You can stay on your knees right there if you want. It’ll give Lila quite the show.”

Diego’s hand squeezed her ass as he moved to the head of the bed, standing directly in front of Five.

“Well? Open up, Smart Ass.” He said, a look of challenge in his face. “Or don’t know how to use that mouth?”

Five had glanced, briefly, refusing to let his eyes linger—until now. With Diego’s cock at eye level, he couldn’t help but take in its full, carefully manscaped glory.

A small laugh slipped out. “So he shaved that, but—”

“Yep. Not his face. I know.”

“Pft, you’ll be grateful when you’re not spitting up hairs.” Diego smirked, but Five only looked smug.

“Never bothers me.” His hand shot out, wrapping around Diego’s shaft and yanking him closer.

“Ow—watch it!”

“Don’t worry. I’m about to kiss it better.”

His tongue relaxed as he licked the tip, tracing slowly across the top and down to the base. He knew sliding his tongue between the glans might feel better—but it wouldn’t give Lila the show she apparently wanted.

As he pulled back, fingers tangled in his hair, yanking hard enough to make him whimper. His ears flushed hot at the sound he’d just made in front of them both.

The taller man chuckled—until it broke into a sharp gasp when his cock slipped fully into Five’s mouth.

Another tug, but no protest this time. Instead, Five sucked hard, cheeks hollowing as he dragged back until the head popped free. His hand gripped firmly at the base and over his balls, holding him steady.

“She likes it rough. Yank my hair again and I’ll use my teeth. You want me moaning down you—” He felt the twitch against his palm, smirking against the tip. “—then be nice.”

His tongue darted out again, taut this time, flicking quickly over Diego’s head before teasing lower, lapping at his hole, tasting.

“Shit. You do know what you’re doing.”

Now Five grinned, eyes darting down to Lila—who was watching with clear amusement.

Just another bundle of nerve endings. Guys always seemed surprised that treating it like a clit could be fun.

Even with Five’s eyes closed, focusing on what made Diego’s cock swell harder at certain moments, he felt Lila shift—then move away. Probably to free her ankles, he guessed.

And then it came: a hand drifting up his stomach to the hard nub of his nipple. Fingers circled lazily, caressing instead of pinching. Then her breasts pressed against his back as her other hand slid up and down the inside of his thigh.

She had clearly understood the instructions. A low hum of approval slipped from his throat, vibrating down around Diego, who immediately thrust deeper, pushing into his throat.

“Fuck, he’s as good at sucking cocks as you are, Babe.” Diego’s satisfied grin could be heard.

Five swallowed hard, twice, before forcing himself to relax, letting the tension melt from his body as her hands worked over him—thighs, stomach, chest, neck, even into his hair.

He couldn’t help but purr like a kitten.

Lila’s hand joined Diego’s in Five’s hair, massaging his scalp while her lips trailed soft kisses along his shoulders, then down his back, lingering over each ridge of his spine. He arched his back, an unspoken invitation for more. Her other hand caressed his inner thighs, moving up and down featherlight, before it reached her target, one finger tracing the big vein pulsing under his cock. 

He was hard again.

He felt her grin on his skin. “You’re so responsive.” Her lips continued to kiss the curve of his spine until she reached the dip of his back, circling the dimples with her tongue. His hips shifted, chasing after her wandering hand and back against her mouth. But she resumed her way up to the nape of his neck where her breath warmed the soft skin behind his ears. “Always so tense, Sweetheart, but looks like you’re starting to loosen up a bit, huh?” 

That was when he noticed how he had let their hands settle a gentle and steady rhythm on his head, pushing it on and off Diego’s cock while his hips moved into Lila’s hand, keeping the same slow pace. Every time his hips met Lila’s hand, Diego’s hand would press down, pushing his cock deeper into his mouth. Five let out a shaky exhale, his body was giving in, inch by inch, surrendering, enjoying the double attention.

Until Lila’s other finger slipped lower, between his cheeks. He stiffened, a warning hiss between his teeth, his body tensing.

“Shhh,” Lila kissed the nape of his neck again, lips soft and coaxing. “Just a touch… testing something new tonight, Love? You’re doing so good.”

Diego’s hand threaded deeper into his hair, steadying, reassuring. He didn’t push, didn’t force, allowing Five to relax as Lila’s finger patiently circled the rim, trailing up and down, feather-light, then stopping, getting him used to her finger here. Not pushing in, but present.

“Alright, Love?”

He hesitated, then pushed back against her finger, shifting his hips forth into her hand then back onto her finger. Fuck it, he thought, he was feeling hot, still unwound from his first climax and the gentle petting from both of them. He was also curious about how far they wanted to take things with him.

“Hey Babe, you may need this.” Five’s eyes flicked up as Diego reached for the drawer with his other hand, pulling out a tube of lube.

He didn’t stop sucking, only spread his thighs wider as Lila’s finger left his entrance. 

“Looking good like this, Cinco.” Diego groaned, looking down at him.

Hearing the cap pop open, the next thing he knew was the cold smooth sensation running over him, coating him in the same way he assumed her finger was well covered. 

A groan trembled out of his nose as Lila started to dip in. 

“There you go,” she whispered tenderly against his ear. She gave a small peck to his lobe, slowly pushing another inch in and he let himself soften, yielding. “You’re doing so good.”

Once satisfied, she withdrew only to come back with a second. Working in quicker this time and searching for that spot. 

“Told you she has magic fingers, man.” He chuckled as Five’s breath came heavier, his body moving without thought, rocking against her hand in front and pressing back against her fingers behind. “Pretty convincing, huh? I can tell you like it.” He grinned then purred. “Yeah, good boy,” Diego groaned as Five’s moans vibrated along his cock. He picked up the pace, watching the other man riding his wife’s fingers. “Add another one, Baby. You’ve found the good spot.”

“You heard the man, Fivey.” She then took the two out, returning, slowly working the third in, watching the knuckles disappear, one after another, turning, twisting until she found the same place that made his hips jerk once more. “Let’s give him a show, Love?”

His groans were thankfully muffled by Diego’s cock, but his hips snapped backwards, meeting Lila’s hand with rigor. His glassy eyes looked up at Diego’s, expecting a smirk, but he was looking past him, watching everything his wife was doing, pupils blown wide.

“Fuck Five, you should see how your ass riding those fingers… I bet you feel so good down there.” He growled.

Hands started to tighten in Five’s hair as the thrusting became more vigorous, as vigorous as his own thrusting onto Lila’s hand, until he felt Diego's balls tighten, lift, before hot semen spilled out into his throat without warning, forcing Five to swallow regardless. Diego grunted, eyes never looking away from the view until he was spent.

The taller man finally pulled back, stumbling backwards to the dressing chair in the corner. 

A small cough escaped Five. “Not heard of tapping?” He bit out before following by another hitch of his breath as Lila didn't let up. He should crawl away, now that he wasn't piggy in the middle but he couldn't, he fell to his hands and knees, letting Lila continue as she pleased, his own hand starting to reach for his cock. 

“See what you did, Babe?” He waved at Five. “Can’t let our man of honor finish himself now, huh?”

Lila's hand went around him, slapping Five’s away from himself but placed a soft kiss to his neck before taking her fingers out. Five tried to stifle his whimper at the loss of contact but her other hand came to his jaw, pulling it to make him look around, giving him a kiss on the lips which quickly deepened.

Promptly, Five turned continuing the kiss as she pushed him down onto the bed. 

“You’re finally at my mercy, Fivey.” She grinned down at him, ready to slide down his hardon. 

“You wish.” He countered as he pulled her arm, dropping her shoulder into the mattress and quickly flipping her on her back. 

“I bet you’ve dreamt of fucking her, Cinco.” Diego gave a teasing look at Lila. Five’s eyes narrowed at him but the way he looked down at Lila, made the joke into a bashful one-sided confession until Diego continued. 

“Well, she had.” He finished. 

“Oi! We’ve both talked about it, Diego!” She grinned shamelessly. “Shall we show him, Five?” She spread her legs, before hooking one foot on his back. “Come on, let’s see if the fantasy lives up to reality, now?”

He didn't need to be prompted twice, grabbing his dick and sliding it up and down her before stilling at her entrance. 

“Ready?” He asked.

“I’ve been ready all night, Gramps.” She laughed as she met his cock, letting her slick heat wrap around him.

Both moaned as their hips finally joined, their cores pulsing.

He started slow, testing, enjoying being inside her, feeling out cues and also to give himself a moment to calm down or it would all be over far too quickly.

“Yeah, just fuck her Cinco. Get her legs up. Don’t hold back. Drive deeper.”

“You said,” he gritted his teeth, “something about a gag?”

“Shut up, Diego.” She moaned into Five’s throat, working her hips harder. “Faster, Old Man.”

Fuck it. She liked it fast and rough, he was going to give it to her. He was going to give Diego the performance he wanted. Five moved, getting her legs up and over his biceps. His restraint shattered as he thrust harder, deeper, thighs trembling. She cried out, nails raking his shoulders, body arching to meet every thrust.

“Fuck, Babe. That’s hot. I can hear and see him hammering into you. You’re dripping, Lil’. You’re so close, Babe, so so close. You look so good getting fucked.”

“Fast enough for you?” Five groaned in her ears, even as he felt her clench around him, dragging a broken moan from his lips.

Her teeth sank into her lip before she let her moans out, unfiltered, her body trembling as he kept up the unforgiving pace. She could only clutch at him, eyes unfocused as she was caught in the pull of something that was building too fast, too fierce to resist, her feet tensing as the wave of pleasure began to take her.

The telltale clenching started, gripping tight around Five and pulling a muffled, unintelligible word from him, as the rhythm of their bodies colliding, raw, relentless, filled the room.

Dipping his head, his mouth closed over her nipple—just enough to give her that final push over the edge. She broke first with a gasp, then screamed his name, shuddering beneath him, pulling him with her in the same downward spiral. There was no holding back as he jerked and let go, spilling into her.

Their movements slowed but didn’t stop, as they guided each other through the fading tremors. At last, he slipped free, rolling onto his side, breathless, hair sticking to his forehead, into his eyes. 

Both their chests rose and fell—no longer in sync, unlike moments ago when everything had moved in perfect tandem.

Five kept his eyes shut, unwilling to even look at the ceiling. He only heard the quiet shuffle of movement, then the soft click of the ensuite door opening. A moment later, a warm, damp towel stroked gently over him.

It was too much.

He swatted Diego’s hand away, snatching the towel for himself, taking over his own cleanup.

His own body—his own aftercare.

“Suit yourself,” Diego muttered. “Such a prickly Princess.”

A half-lidded eye flicked toward the couple, catching Diego’s gentle care as he cleaned Lila, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his wife’s hand.

“You good, Babe?” Diego’s voice was unlike the cocky and directive tone he’d had throughout the night, reverting to something soft and loving. Tender.

Something not meant for him.

Five swung his legs off the bed, towel still clutched in his grip, now covering what only moments ago had been bare, suddenly aware of how wrong everything had been. He had been drunk, but not on the earlier drinks—he still had to get home—but on the endorphins, the adrenaline of it all. Now though, the hormonal haze was lifting and he felt tense, dread coiling in his guts.

This was a one-time thing. Fucking, nothing more.

“Throw it in the laundry basket behind you when you’re done,” Lila called out lazily. “Shower, if you want. We can prepare the couch—“

How can she be so casual about it after what they’ve done? And he’d let her in, because he was tipsy and horny. Too starved and too weak.

“No. Big meeting tomorrow. I should get going.” His voice was steady in spite of the storm raging in his mind.

He needed to get out of their room. 

He needed to get out of their house.

He needed to get out of this damned country.

“Hey man, that was really good. Thanks,” Diego said, still stroking her hair, content, as though Five were nothing more than a hired hand who’d just finished the job. “Been a while since we got off like that, man.”

They were just looking for someone to spice up things tonight. It was convenient like their toys.

He was convenient.

He said nothing, just adjusted his tie with practiced precision, slipping back into the armor he knew best.

“Do you want a coffee, before you drive back?” Diego offered. Since when was he so courteous? So polite?

He didn’t need anything from them.

“I’m off. No need to see me out.”

He caught Lila’s sudden attention on him, but before she could say anything, he turned around, pulling the lock off, then closed the door behind.

He might as well have blinked outside, the sudden night breeze hitting him like ice water, clearing the remnants of heat still burning through him. 

Driving back, yes. 

There was no place for him here.

The next morning, Five volunteered to go overseas for the next three months.

Maybe longer.

Chapter Text

It had been months. No contact.

Diego and Lila had both tried reaching out, but nothing. No replies. No calls back. It wasn’t until another family gathering one Friday that Klaus, in his usual casual way, mentioned that Five was out of the country on a mission.

Diego knew what that meant. Five’s mobile was home. Always. He never took it with him on missions. Wasn’t allowed to. Rather than leaving it locked away in some CIA safe, he just ditched it behind. He wasn’t attached to it, hardly used the thing.

Still, missions rarely lasted more than a month. A month and a half at most. After that point, Diego was almost sure Five wasn’t away at all. He was avoiding him. Maybe avoiding all of them. Shit. Maybe they really had screwed things up with the whole threesome thing.

Diego:
Hey man, let me know when you’re back. It’d be good to catch up.

Diego stared at the message glowing on his screen. Unread. Then scrolled up. There were a lot more like it. Missed calls too, all straight to voicemail. Maybe the phone was still off. Or maybe Five had blocked him.

He’d even asked Lila to try calling him again recently. Same thing. Straight to voicemail.

At another Friday family evening, Diego asked Klaus if he’d heard from Five. Klaus only shrugged, but when he saw Diego’s concern, and being slightly unnerved by it, he offered to try calling himself.

Same result.

Voicemail.

So maybe Five really was away for a long stretch. Blocking both him and Lila? That wasn’t impossible, given everything that had gone down. Blocking Klaus, though? Highly unlikely. Besides, if something were to happen, Five would’ve wanted a line open to the family. He wouldn’t cut them all off over this.

He wouldn’t.

Right?

The more Diego texted, the more he called, the worse it got. If Five really was just away, then coming back to a phone flooded with his persistence was practically begging to be disowned.

So now what? Damage was done. No undoing it. Unless…

Unless he put those years of vigilante skills to use. Broke into the most paranoid man’s apartment on the planet.

Then again, Five’s place was just a rental. He couldn’t have modified the locks too much.

So it was worth checking out… scope the door. See if the basic tools would cut it. If not—come back prepared.

And this—this had nothing to do with them. With that night.

This was about needing someone to talk to. Someone who might be able to give some advice, to listen. 

Because lately, Diego had started to wonder if his wife was cheating on him.

They’d admitted their marriage was rocky. That was why they’d brought Five in to begin with. Maybe some spice would help. Maybe it would keep things together.

But not long after Five left, Lila had joined “book club.” At first, Diego bought it. It was a mom’s thing, right? Reading books. Maybe even smut. Plenty of time when waiting for Grace to finish ballet. Or when Coco and Stan were at tumbling. Why not have people to talk about it with, too?

But then her hair started looking nicer—not just tied up in the messy bun or ponytail she wore around the house. Then came mascara on her lashes. A little blush on her cheeks.

The nice cocktail dresses.

That was when the sirens started going off in Diego’s head.

That was when the texts and calls became more persistent.

That was when using a picklock on Five’s door started to seem sane. Skipping a day of work for it seemed sensible too—and that dip in his paycheck? Well, Lila wouldn’t notice… okay, she would, but not if he hid it.

It didn’t take much to get the door open. Being on the top floor had its benefits—fewer people walking past, fewer chances of getting caught. Diego was almost certain that was one of the reasons Five had chosen the place, to stay just a little more out of the way.

When the door swung open, it hit him—he knew where Five lived, but he had never actually been invited over. The place was somewhere to stay, sure, but not a home. The walls were pristine white. Shelves in the hallway stood bare, the kind of shelves that in Diego’s house were crammed full of pictures of the kids.

Here?

Nothing.

The sitting room was no different. Bare. A dark forest-green couch, big enough for two but not three. A small armchair in the corner beside a well-stocked bookshelf—the only sign that Five lived here at all. Physics and mathematics texts lining the shelves.

He drifted into the kitchen, realising he was just snooping now. But hell, he had no idea where Five might have tossed his mobile. Could’ve been on the coffee table. Could’ve been near the coffeepot. By that logic, he had to check everywhere.

Padding through, Diego moved into Five’s bedroom. The bed was made with military precision, exactly the way Reginald had forced them to as kids. Some habits, apparently, never left.

Diego checked the nightstand, then the walls for a charging plug. If Five had just turned his phone off, maybe he’d shoved it in a drawer. Would that be going too far? Rifling through his stuff?

No. The messages were what went too far.

He took out his phone, like it could feel the other by sheer will. Maybe it would miraculously ring, or vibrate, or light up to show its location.

“Come on, where’s that damned phone?” He muttered.

This was damage control. And what was he scared of coming across? Neatly folded clothes? A sex doll or mannequin shoved in the wardrobe? No, he wouldn’t do that to one. They would be sat out at the table like they were ready for a cup of coffee or something. He grimaced at the thought before grabbing the handle to the first drawer, easing it open—

“Turn around, idiot. Slowly.”

The voice was ice.

“C’mon, Five, you know it’s me.”

Diego turned, gradually only to be met with Five standing there, dripping wet with a towel slung low around his waist and the barrel of a gun levelled at his face.

“Don’t you remember what Dad always said?” Diego started giving an awkward smirk. “Don’t point one unless you’re willing to shoot.”

“Oh, I’m aware.” His brother took the safety off.

“Damn, Five. Aren’t you meant to leave that piece at work?”

“I’m licensed to carry. Now…” Five’s eyes narrowed before his free hand reached for the black flip phone on the desk behind him, opening it then throwing it onto the bed. The home screen was on, showing off just how many times he had tried to get into contact with him. “Tell me why I have fifty-two text messages and twenty-three missed calls from you in the span of ninety-two days.”

Diego swallowed. “I think Lila’s cheating on me.”

Five sighed. He lowered the gun, turning the safety back on, but didn’t place it down. Instead, he carried it to the bed, sitting down, the weapon resting on his lap.

“Is it cheating,” he asked flatly, “if you’re in an open marriage?”

Diego frowned. “Who said it was open?”

Five stared at him, utterly dumbfounded.

“Look,” Diego started, defensive already, “you—with us—that was different.”

Five arched a brow. “I don’t know if I want to ask, but go on. Enlighten me.”

“I just… thought for a while now… that Lila might leave me? Or cheat? Or hell, maybe I would. Things were stale. The kids, work, life—” he waved vaguely, “it sucked all the fun out. No energy for anything. No excitement.”

Five didn’t answer. He just gave Diego that look—the one that said get to the damn point without me having to waste my breath.

“We talked about you because… well, I figured if it was something Lila seemed interested in…” Diego trailed off, fumbling for the right words. “You two always seemed in sync or something. And it wasn’t like you were a complete stranger. You’re someone I trust. Trust not to pursue her. Maybe if she just got it out of her system…”

Five’s tone cut like glass. “So what—you thought she wouldn’t go looking elsewhere after getting a taste of someone else? And seeing that you’re fine with it? Tell me, did you explicitly say you weren’t opening the marriage?”

“…Not exactly.”

Five dragged a hand through his wet hair, pushing it back from his face. His jaw clenched as he worked the strands into place. Diego found himself watching the movement before forcing his eyes away.

“Then if she’s ‘cheating,’” Five said coldly, “that’s on you. You left it vague, and she’s acting on the loophole.” There was a pause before he continued. “So that covers Lila. But you—” his gaze cut sharp— “you agreed to it too. Why?”

Diego hesitated, then muttered, “I hadn’t been with a guy before.”

Five’s lip curled, not quite a smirk. “So what—you thought your first time should be with me?”

“Again—someone I trust,” Diego shot back. “It seemed… sensible.”

“Did it…” Five’s tone was flat, not a question. His eyes flicked up, rolled, then dropped back to his lap—back to the gun.

“Hey, you agreed to it too.”

“I did.”

“Do you regret it?”

Five’s fingers traced the weapon, appearing absent-minded. He thumbed the release, slid the clip free, checked the bullets with quick precision, then slammed it back into place. Diego couldn’t tell if it was deliberate intimidation or just Five’s version of fidgeting.

“Felt a bit used after,” Five said at last, with a shrug. “Guess that comes with the territory. I’ve been a lap dog to too many people before. Can’t say I’ve ever been the third wheel.”

Diego reached out instinctively, fingertips brushing Five’s cheek, trying to turn his face toward him. “That wasn’t our intention—”

His words cut off in a choke as cold steel shoved past his lips, the bitter tang of gunmetal hitting his tongue. Five moved in a blur—off the bed and onto him, straddling his hips, pistol rammed down his throat. His free hand wrenched Diego’s arm to the mattress, pinning it hard.

“Boohoo, your wife’s cheating on you,” Five said flatly. “Doesn’t mean you get to break into my place and start pawing at me. You wanted to talk? We talked. Now go home. Fix your mess there. Don’t drag it here.”

“Uhmmhm—” Diego tried to form words, but the gun made it impossible.

Five sighed, yanking the pistol free. Diego coughed and spat out, “I’m sorry, alright!” His free hand jerked upward—Five’s reflex made him pull the gun higher, out of the way, but all Diego was reaching for was to wipe his mouth. “Shit. Look. I came here to delete the messages. I realised how it looked, but when you didn’t reply, I panicked. Thought we fucked it up with you. And clearly… we have.”

Five’s eyes stayed cold, detached, as his grip, as strong as iron, continued to stay on Diego’s wrist. “The texts were useful. At least I learned I wasn’t as disposable to you as I thought.” Diego watched the emerald eyes dart between his. “So what now—you sit here, whine about your marriage and expect me to give you a shoulder to cry on?”

“No.”

Five released his wrist, but didn’t move off him. He stayed there—on Diego’s lap, towel the only barrier.

“But…” Diego wet his lips. “She’s out getting laid and… I’ve still never been fully with a guy.”

Five leant in, pressing the gun flat against Diego’s cheek, voice sharp. “Un-believe-able.” He spat each syllable like a curse.

Diego squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Five could feel the hard-on that was starting to strain his jeans through his towel, and braced himself for whatever came next. There would have been a time he could have laughed at the idea of being threatened with bullets and now… they were just as deadly to him as anyone else.

But also a turn on.

Then, he felt Five shift—knee suddenly between his legs, weight pushing hard against his crotch. A hand slid over his side, dipped into his pocket, and came out with his pocketknife. In one motion, the knee lifted and Five returned to his straddle, flicking the blade open.

“I don’t use toys, Diego,” Five murmured. “But I do use weapons.”

The knife kissed his cheek, the sound of steel scraping through stubble making him flinch. Five’s smirk flickered as the blade pressed down, shaving away part of his moustache—before biting just enough to nick him above the lip.

“And if we are doing this, that has to go.”

Diego’s Adam’s apple bobbed. His hands moved hesitantly to Five’s waist, fingertips sliding under the towel. He pulled, unravelling, letting it fall away—yet his eyes never broke from the ones piercing into him. The knife scraped again, another section of his moustache gone. Blood welled between his lips, and he fought the urge to lick it away. One wrong move and Five might take the tip of his tongue.

It wasn’t the first time a blade had marked his face. Wouldn’t be the last. The scar he used to have—before the reset—ran across his head toward his cheek. It could have taken out his eye. That one came from one of Reginald’s “lessons,” learning to control objects hurled at him instead of just the ones he threw. Grace had to stitch it instead of Pogo, the only way he would let someone even close to him with a needle. Twenty sutures were needed. 

The thin notch he had in his eyebrow? That was his own damn fault, screwing around with a butterfly knife. Both scars erased with the reset. 

And now, it seemed, new ones were about to be added.

Five worked until every hair was gone, only nicking him once more beneath the nose. Diego kept his mouth shut, not wanting the sheer amount of stubble to fall in. Considering it was a dry shave, no foam, two cuts weren't half bad. Even with his threatening stance, it certainly came off like the other was still being careful. 

Five slid the handle of the knife between his own teeth, denying Diego even the chance to grab it. With his free hand, he dragged the towel across Diego’s face, again and again, wiping it clear of hair.

Then the knife was back in his grip, the towel tossed aside over the edge of the bed.

Five huffed out through his nose as he leaned down. “You bleed a lot from such small cuts.”

Diego felt it then—warm tongue running across his top lip, licking the blood away. And when Five pressed his mouth to his, his tongue exploring whilst Diego tasted a new kind of metallic flavour. Himself. 

Diego used to be able to hold his breath for what could feel like forever. 

But that was before. 

Now, when Five pulled back, he could only breathe in short, ragged bursts.

He felt Five’s lips brush against his ear, soft at first, a whisper of warmth caressing the shell of it, before sharp teeth nicked his lobe, making him flinch.

“Are you planning on making me bleed everywhere?!” He moved to push the other back, but froze, aware of the other’s hardness pressed against his leg.

“What… what do you want?” He stuttered, suddenly conscious that they were both hard now.  

Five shifted, then slowly climbed up his body, until he had Diego pinned, his knees trapped under his brother’s armpits. He dipped himself forward, cock dangling in front of his face. It felt like a test. 

“Time to return the favour, Diego.”

Diego swallowed hard, a bead of sweat slipping down his temple, before darting his tongue out towards the dick. If he wanted to fuck his mouth, he guessed it was only fair. He could do it. It shouldn’t be any harder than the performance he does for Lila’s strap-on. Except this one could feel it, react to it, give feedback and potentially in the form of a deadly blow.

But Five pulled back, now sitting squarely on his chest. Air felt squeezed out of his lungs with how he sat back.

“But first,” the cool metal of the gun brushed over his lips before pressing it against them. “before I trust you with my cock…”

“Come on, man, I’m not gonna bite it off.” Diego shook his head, but the weapon came back under his chin, caressing his jaw with the cold muzzle, before it hovered back near his lips.

“Shut up, Diego. And prove it. Open wide for little old me.” He whispered as he nudged his mouth open with the barrel and slipped it in. His hand with the knife, coming up only to turn off the safety.  “Suck it. Delicately. This is one thing you don’t want to go off in your mouth.”

Diego closed his eyes, concentrating on the hard metal in his mouth. He knew his brother lived dangerously. He didn’t know he liked to fuck dangerously, too.

“Look at me, Diego.” His eyes fluttered open to see his brother put the knife’s blade between his teeth, freeing his hand. His gaze followed the long and deft fingers that slowly trailed down the smooth chest, unlike his own, then lower, before he wrapped around his own member. The grip was firm, the strokes measured, matching the same rhythm of his hollowed cheeks working around the cold girth. His eyes locked onto green ones glinting with heat, and he shivered. 

Carefully, his hand rose to cover the other’s, to join in the steady movement, but as his thumb brushed across the slick, leaking head, Five shook his hand. Diego felt like he was batted away as if he were an annoying distraction.

When didn’t he annoy his brother?

Probably when he’d have his cock in his mouth.

Suddenly, the now warmed metal was pulled from his mouth. It traced down the line of his throat, the pressure light but present, just enough to make him swallow. Just enough to remind him who was behind the gun.

His face grimacing as he finally could close his jaw, with the disgusting taste amplifying in his mouth. His head turned, spitting out the tainted saliva over the side of the bed onto the floor. 

“Fuck that tasted foul.” He hissed, half expecting a pistol whipping for his crime against his brother’s bedroom carpet. 

“Good thing cum tastes better.”

Before he could protest, Five was back in his face, this time with his dick nudging his lips.

“Show me how you did the gun, now. Nice and slow.”

He obediently opened his mouth, finally allowed to taste the cock before him. He’d never had one in his mouth before. 

A real one.

Lila liked to play, and once upon a time, he did agree to go down on her strap-on. But it was firmer, didn’t bend and frankly, felt weird in his mouth. 

Nothing like the living, throbbing length pushing past his lips.

His tongue carefully lapped around the slick head, feeling his way around, tasting before it wrapped around its girth, slowly taking it in.

Was it how Lila felt when Five fucked her mouth last time? Could he make him feel better than she could? She was good—Diego knew that—but his mouth was bigger, his tongue wider, thicker. Was that enough to trump skill? 

He groaned around the hardness as he felt it push in, testing the limit. He relaxed his throat, slowly accepting it as it bent, easier than a fake one. 

The angle was awful though. Five wasn’t thrusting so much as dipping into him, with him laying down. But Diego couldn’t move, couldn’t offer anything better—not with his mouth full, not with the silent threat of the weapons both within Five’s hands. One in each and one wrong shift and they’d no longer be at his side but on him. Or worse, in him.

“That’s it. Get it nice and wet, Diego,” Five murmured darkly. “It’s all the lubricant you’re getting today.”

The sound that escaped Diego’s throat came out more panicked than he intended, he frantically worked his tongue around the shaft, spit dripping from the corners of his mouth. Five’s muffled moan answered him—low, sharp—breaking into a dark chuckle as he pulled back. Strings of saliva stretched and snapped, dripping onto Diego’s T-shirt, leaving dark circles across the fabric.

“Tsk. This needs to come off. If I accidentally rub against your clothes, you may as well just pick up that towel and dry me off.” Five slid backward on his knees until he was sitting on Diego’s lap again. Another smirk. “And I suppose we should free this too.” He ground himself against Diego, slow, deliberate, shifting up and down his tented pants, making the bulge even harder as he flicked the safety on the gun.

On. Off. On. Off.

Diego made a mental note to keep track of which way it landed.

But he lost the count as the knife came back into play. Five steadied the gun in one hand, freeing the other to bunch the bottom of Diego’s shirt in his fist. The blade hovered against the fabric, ready. Diego braced for the inevitable rip—but it didn’t come.

His eyes flicked from the knife to Five’s face. No smirk this time. Serious. Intent. His gaze darted down, then back to Diego. It didn’t feel like a threat. Not now. More like a request.

Maybe he had a type. Psychos. Batshit crazy in bed.

He gave the world’s smallest nod, and the blade was instantly at his throat, slicing clean through his shirt. Five trailed it down his torso as he shuffled lower, sliding off the bed. The knife reached the line of Diego’s jeans, pressed against the button.

“I could pop each one of these off,” Five murmured, digging the tip into the denim.

“I’d rather have something to wear when I get back in my car later.”

That infuriating half-smirk flickered back up at him. “Fair enough.”

Just like that, the knife vanished—flicked shut, holstered away—and replaced with fingers. Quick, practiced, merciless. In seconds Diego was free, jeans shoved down, boxers stripped away.

And fuck—it felt good. His cock finally sprang free, swollen from being trapped, practically saluting Five in greeting.

Five’s grin wasn’t sarcastic this time, wasn’t sharp or mocking. It was hungry. It burned for a moment before he turned away, circling the bed. Diego’s eyes tracked him as he reached the nightstand—the drawer he had almost opened earlier—and pulled out a bottle of lube. Five tossed it across, landing cold against Diego’s chest, making him flinch.

“Get to work.”

Diego blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Prep. You enjoyed watching Lila finger me, remember? Kept whining about wanting a show. My turn.”

Diego’s mouth went dry.

It was one thing to let Lila play with a strap-on—he’d praised her fingers to Five for a reason, after all. She was good with them. But this?

Wait.

Fuck this. No. There was no way he was going to be the bottom.

He’d agreed to this for the experience, sure—for being with a man, with Five. But he’d always assumed he’d be the one on top. He’d done anal with Lila before; actually loved it when she was in the mood, it wasn’t that different. Instead of fingers on a clit it was his hand wrapped around a dick. He knew how to jerk off, he knew how to fuck, he could put two and two together but this?

This was something else entirely.

Diego’s eyes flicked to the gun as it started to rise again. Seriously? He was going to threaten him into it?

But the barrel never swung his way. Five set it on the nightstand instead. The pocket knife, though, stayed in his fist—hidden—while he climbed back onto the bed, plucking the bottle off Diego’s chest.

“You don’t have to.” His voice was even, calm, as the cap snapped open. “But you’re the one who said you wanted to try this. With me. ” A slick line of lube squeezed over his fingers; his thumb rubbed, coaxing it across his skin. “If you only ever stay inside your own safety net, how are you going to know what you do or don’t like?”

“Sure,” Diego shot back, tension under his words. “But I watched you. I saw how you rode my wife’s fingers. You can’t tell me you’re not a bottom.”

“I’m not,” Five said simply. “I’m whatever I feel like being. And right now, what I feel like is giving you a different kind of experience.”

His slick fingers slid over Diego’s, trailing from knuckle to fingertip, then back again—slow, deliberate. After everything that had happened, after all the sharp edges and threats, the sudden patience made Diego shudder. He couldn’t tell if it was from the emotional whiplash or from the idea of what he was still asking him to do.

“So,” Five murmured, eyes locked on his, “what’s it going to be?”

Could he do it?

Could he actually do it? Finger himself? Working his fingers in and out, twisting, opening slowly under his brother’s critical stare?

“Imagine you’re working your fingers up my ass,” Five continued in a soft voice. “Show me how you’d do it. How I’d ride your fingers.”

It was like he was hypnotized as he spread his legs, fingers slowly trailing down his line of dark hair leading to his cock, avoiding it until he found its target. 

He hesitated, but looking up, Five’s stare didn’t waver from the sight.

The first knuckle felt weird.

Not weird because he had something slid in there.

Weird—because it was his own finger going in. He pushed deeper, feeling his digit slip past that spot. That spot he kept dragging over again and again, until his eyes shut tight. He didn’t want to be under his brother’s gaze while feeling this exposed.

Maybe, if only for a moment, he could block him out. Enjoy it, instead of fighting off the clarity telling him to get the fuck out of here. He’d wanted the experience—he just wasn’t sure he wanted to be the experience.

Then his balls twitched at the sudden contact of another hand pressing over his.

“C’mon, Diego. We don’t have all day. I’m sure at some point you’ve gotta get back in time to at least pretend you went to work, right?”

Logic could fuck off in that moment. Five’s brain might’ve been able to focus on a million things at once, but he couldn’t.

“Shut up. Alright?”

He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that stupid smirk was plastered across his brother’s face.

Then he felt the hand slide over his, fingers layering on top.

“You gonna add a second, or shall I?”

He swallowed hard as his finger withdrew, aligning with his middle one before pushing past the tightness all over again. Five’s hand gave his an almost complementary pat before withdrawing.

“Good boy.”

“Pretty sure… that’s supposed to be… my line.”

Five just shrugged, reaching for the bottle of lube again. This time he didn’t just coat his fingers—he poured it into his palm, slicking it over himself, hand working in steady pumps as he watched.

“How do you want this?”

Five wasn’t just prepping himself; he was stroking in earnest now, gaze fixed, hungry.

Options? There were options? With Lila, there weren’t. When she was in that mood, she just rolled him onto his front, pulled his knees in, and climbed on. How was this different?

Maybe it was a better the devil you know situation. He pulled out and rolled over, taking the familiar position.

The bed shifted, then he felt him lining up. Warm—so unlike the cool plastic, always made colder by lube. Five teased his entrance first, rubbing up and down before even trying to push past.

Thump. The knife hit the mattress and slid off to the side—not exactly out of reach, but at least no longer in his hand. Not that Diego had much time to think about it.

All thought fled the instant the stretch began.

It wasn’t bad, just a little uncomfortable—but unhurried. Hands clamped to his hips, pulling him back as Five pushed forward until their bodies met, hips flush.

The slow withdrawal however, made his mind go blank, eyes rolling as tension bled from his shoulders and his head sank into the mattress. The drag of it leaving him was almost torturous, but the push back in was just as achingly good.

“The real thing’s better, right?”

“Don’t know what you’re on about.”

“All those damn toys you were talking about. Use. I’m better, right.”

It wasn’t a question and Diego didn’t dignify him with an answer—but Five snapped his hips, sharp enough to rip a moan from him before he could suppress it.

“Pretend…” Five’s pace picked up, hands gripping harder. “All you want… Diego… but there’s—” his words broke on a pant, “—no way you’d have… let me do this… let me in so easily… all of me… if you didn’t already…” another moan, this one his own, “—have some experience.”

Five clearly didn't expect an answer as a fist suddenly tangled in the back of his hair. “Up.” Five commanded.

The hand slid down, trailing over his body before settling back at Diego’s hip. Five might’ve been the shortest in the family, but rising to his knees gave him just the right angle—and he clearly knew it.

“If you get cum on my sheets…” Five leaned down, lips grazing the taller man’s neck—close, but not quite at his ear. “You’re doing my laundry.”

No way. Diego didn’t even do laundry in his own house. That was the kind of thing Five would force him into at gunpoint.

His weight shifted, bracing more squarely on one arm as his free hand slipped down between his legs. He could touch himself to this, make sure he caught it all in his hand—

The sharp slap of skin on skin cut that thought short. Five’s thrust made it very clear: even that wasn’t an option.

“I wasn’t… clear enough…” Five’s voice was low, controlled, each word punctuated by movement. “No cumming. At all.”

He was such a bastard, always, always so damn controlling. With everything. He half-expected King Asshole to tell him he was breathing the wrong way next. Diego snapped back his hips, meeting the other’s sharp move with his own. Fine. If he couldn’t come yet, he’d make the smug dickhead lose control first and come faster than a virgin. And then, he’d bail and finish himself off. At home. Alone. 

Except… Five’s cock  kept hitting that spot. Dead on. Every time. Nailing the damn prostate. And Diego had to bite into his arm to keep from moaning. 

A sharp move knocked him forward.

“I want to hear your moans. Babe.” Five ordered. Again. “Come on, Diego, it’s just you and me now. Don’t hold back. Show me how you like doing it with a guy. ”

“Fuck you.” He gritted through his teeth, his ass still met the other’s avid thrusts, contradicting his words. “Stop ordering me around!”

“I am fucking you, Diego.” He felt fingers tracing the rim where their body met. “You don’t see it, but I’m sure you’re feeling it. Nice and needy.” Diego grunted. He didn’t think it possible, but the grip on his hips grew tighter, as the pace picked up another notch. His elbows dug into the mattress, trying to hold on, short pants coming out shorter and faster. He tried to suppress the sounds, enough to satisfy the other, but not enough to bring down the neighbours on them. He couldn’t bear it if someone came knocking on the door because he was moaning so loudly. Because he was this close to having the best orgasm in a while. 

He could feel it building. Coiling tight. Burning hot.

And panic flared.

He was going to come. He was going to come soon, and who knew what the psycho was going to do to him. But the more he thought about it, the more frantic he became, riding Five’s cock faster.

And getting that spot nailed over and over and over again, damn it. Damn him.

He tried to clench, to squeeze his ass, change the angle, anything to bring the bastard over the edge first.

He wanted to hear him? Maybe it could do it? Lila also loved it when he begged her, especially when he was on his knees. They were both crazy. Two sides of the same coin. Using him as a sex toy.

Fuck it, he was already on his knees, anyway.

“Five… aahh… harder, babe.”

The smack cracked across his ass. Fast and unexpected. 

“Don’t.”

“Don’t… what?” Diego whined. Lila liked it when he begged like that. His voice cracked as he felt the tingling fading. But his skin burned, as the heat spread on one side of his ass. This wasn’t helping, he knew he was leaking now. Cumming or not, he was doing the fucking laundry…

“Babe, me.” Another smack was dished to his other cheek. He hid his whimper behind a growl, anything to make it sound more manly than it was just that second ago.

No ‘babe,’ he got it alright. But there was surely something he could say that could get his brother off faster than him.

“You… always… think… you’re better than… everyone.” He panted, trying to be coherent through his jumbling mind.

Five’s thrusts hit rougher, deeper than before, as the other man bent forward to whisper in his ear.

“Ask your wife.”

And then a groan, a shudder as he finally—finally—felt the hot spill of release inside him.

Diego froze. 

The fucker came talking about Lila.

That. Crazy. Batshit. Fucker.

He pushed back against Five, before he could finish, still shuddering against his back, and twisted around, rage cutting through the heat.

“The fuck, man?” He roared.

“Jealousy doesn’t become you, Diego.” He wanted to wipe the smirk off the other man’s face. “Or did I touch a nerve?”

Diego’s jaw clenched, trying to refrain from punching the other man. It wasn’t polite after helping him cum. “I fuck my wife good, you hear me, Five?”

“Oh, I hear you all right.” Five’s hand slid up his chest this time, lazy, taunting. “How about you show me?”

Diego blinked. “What?”

“I thought you wanted to come in my ass.” The long fingers lazily traced the thick vein under Diego’s hard cock. He was still hard. And leaking. “I didn’t say you weren’t going to make a mess in me.” 

He pushed up, ready to throw Five down on the bed. He was going to make him scream—the same way he could make his wife yell out his name.

The same fucking way she yelled out his name last time. 

Fuck, was she yelling out others' names too? 

He lunged, reaching for Five’s arms—but the shorter man was faster. An arm pressed hard across his throat, weight driving him back onto the mattress as Five straddled him.

“I thought you said your ass is mine,” Diego growled.

“It is. Doesn’t mean I don’t get to dictate how.”

“You little control freak.”

Five just shrugged, reaching past him to snatch the lube again.

“You want a show, Diego?” He smirked down at him, teasing. “Let me show you how it’s done.”

Five didn’t really give him a chance to answer. In a swift turn, he swung a leg across Diego’s chest pinning him. Cool liquid drizzled over his cock, pooling at the base. Fingers dipped into it, dragging slick trails along the length—slow strokes, base to tip—until Five seemed satisfied. 

Those same fingers, glistening now, moved behind him. He turned his back fully, offering Diego the same view he had given him earlier. One by one, slippery fingers disappeared, knuckle after knuckle, sliding in with a practiced ease Diego hadn’t managed.

In, out.

In, out.

Diego’s breath caught as he watched the limber man open up, riding his own fingers above him with practiced precision.

He got to three quickly as Diego muttered. “Show off.”

“Preparation. Take the damn complement, idiot.” Diego could practically hear the eyeroll in his voice before he turned back around facing him. Both hands landing squarely on his chest as he started to back up before grabbing his cock and sitting back.

And then heat. Pressure. The impossible tight fit as Five lowered himself down, inch by inch, onto Diego’s cock. He groaned as he gripped Five’s hips, helping him slowly work his way down his shaft, until he was seated flush. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He gasped, head falling back. “You’re even tighter than—”

“Don’t finish that sentence, idiot.” Five warned, his voice ragged but sharp as he moved up and down in his lap, keeping a steady rhythm.

“Alright, alright… just, you feel good as a bottom.” He could barely think. Could only feel every clench, every pulse, every shaky breath Five took above him.

“Look, I don’t expect you to know all the lingo, Diego, but trust me, I’m no less dominating from up here.”

‘Dominating?’ He was still trying to dominate him? 

Diego’s teeth clenched. Fuck that. He wasn't having his wife going around doing who knew what, then being some sub in this situation too. 

“No,” Diego growled. “I’m the one fucking your ass, Five.”

He grabbed Five’s hips. Hard. The movement was fast and rough, a sudden surge of strength as he pushed up and rolled them over, flipping Five onto his back.

The other man bit down a gasp at the new angle, legs spreading to accommodate Diego’s body between them, palms splayed on Diego’s chest.

“Diego,” he started with a hint of warning. Before he could order something or another, Diego crushed his lips against his. Hard. 

Shut up. 

Five’s hand fisted his hair, tugging—hard—as he tried to steal back control of the kiss. But Diego only pulled away, far enough to keep only the tip in and smirk, before thrusting back in one firm stroke, burying himself to the hilt, making Five gasp.

“Yeah, that’s the spot, huh?” Diego hissed against his ear, hips driving with each word. “‘I want to hear your moans,’ babe.” He repeated mockingly. “Come on, Five, ‘it’s just you and me now. Don’t hold back.’ Show me how you like my rod up your ass.”

Five’s head tipped back, a breathy sound escaping before he gasped back. “Where’s… the gag… when you need it?”

“No toys. Only weapons here, right?” Five’s breath hitched as he drove in sharp thrusts, not leaving the spot that made him clench amazingly.

“How did you do it again? Ah, yes.” Diego got the other man’s legs up and over his biceps, spreading them wider before he snapped his hips forward. Every slam was a statement as Five bit down on his lips, glaring, as his hands gripped his head harder, body arching to meet every thrust.

“Good to see you took notes,” Five finally rasped.

“Guess I’m learning from you,” Diego growled in his ears, even as he felt him clench around him, dragging a broken moan from his lips. “‘Fast enough for you,’ Princess?’”

“Don’t. Princess. Me.”

“Say it again when I’m not deep up your ass, Fivey.”

With a shift of his grip, he hooked Five’s legs higher, taking full control of the pace. Each movement was firm, relentless. Five arched beneath him, meeting his rhythm, the air between them thick with challenge and heat.

He batted Five’s hand as one let out of his hair and lowered between them. “You’re hard again, Five. No cumming. Until. I. Say. So.”

Fucking and pumping. 

That he could do.

Five’s muscles went taut beneath him, breath ragged but eyes still defiant. Diego’s grip stayed steady as he wrapped his hand around the other’s new hardness. Five let go of his head and fisted the sheets, eyes losing focus.

“Almost there, Five?”

“Shut… up. Diego.” He was breathless, his eyes squeezed as he tried to chase after his climax.

“Cock up your ass not enough? Want something more to push you over the edge?” He taunted as he realised that finally the blade was within his reach. “How about this?”

His hand closed around the handle.

Five liked to play with knives.

So did he. 

And he was better. The blade sprang out with a click.

Five’s eyes gleamed as he moved his hips faster.

Diego’s other hand gripped behind the knee, bending it closer to his chest, opening Five wider while the blade’s tip traced a slow line along his chiseled jaw, testing, teasing, wondering which edge was sharper.

Until a bead of blood appeared, running down his neck in slow motion.

Diego’s own breath shortened. 

He bent his head, until his tongue ran along that stupid unit until it met the bony jaw, licking, tasting the crimson liquid.

And then the last of his restraint slipped away, each thrust more urgent than the last. 

“Now,” Diego ordered, blade in hand, as he let out the one word, rough and final.

Five’s eyes stayed locked with his, as he finally let go, lips parting in a breathless moan.

He did that. He made Number ‘fucking’ Five lose control, he thought, victorious.

And then his own tension snapped into release, slamming one last time before spilling his load deep inside the other man.

He shuddered, every tremor from the smaller man making him jerk too. 

Neither spoke, neither moved, each trying to catch their own breath.

Their eyes met, awkward and uncertain, before Five started shoving at him to get off.

“So… now what?” Diego asked, slowly pulling out.

“You go home.” Blunt. But what else had he expected?

“What do I tell Lila?” His eyes searched for Five’s, the same unease from earlier creeping back in—worried everything was fucked and about to get worse.

“Whatever you want. I don’t kiss and tell.”

Five rolled out from under him, reached for the knife, and handed it back without ceremony.

“So we’re cool? Everything just… goes back to normal?” Diego asked, taking it before glancing around for his underwear.

“Whatever we consider normal in this family.”

Diego felt Five’s eyes on him. “What?”

“You might want to—” Something warm tumbled out of him, and his hand shot between his legs to catch it. “Shower.”

“Yuck.”

“It’s through there.” Five pointed to the door behind him. “Only one in the apartment, so be quick. And don’t you dare use up all the hot water.”

“Trust me, I want to get out of here as fast as you want me out,” Diego groaned, gathering his clothes and heading for the bathroom.

What was he supposed to tell Lila? Did he have to tell her anything? No, he didn’t. It wasn’t like she’d been fully honest with him either. She was lying to him about “book club,” he was sure. His instinct was actually telling him something was off.

He leant his head against the cold tiles, turning the water from cold to hot then back again, hissing when the water hit his muscles one way or another. It was a wake up call. 

He had done it again. Had another thing with Five. Had crossed another line as he went even further than the first time—went full experience with another guy. 

And he’d loved it.

Even without Lila. Guilt actually crept up on him even when he tried to convince himself it was payback. Something to even the scale with Lila. She was out having fun, so could he.

This was such a mess. 

It had been so long since he let himself get off like this. Just going with the flow, chasing and being chased, a game of hungry cat and teasing mouse and then swapping the roles so that both could find their release. And what a release. It was the best since—since he couldn’t even remember.

They had lost it sometime after the twins were born. Sure, they tried to rekindle the pleasure, but it was always forced. Always scheduling, planning and going through the motion, instead of losing control. Even that Friday with Five was somewhat planned. Nothing was ever spontaneous anymore.

Unlike their first few months, years that felt like decades ago, when she showed him how she liked to play and he’d learned—fast and curious.

Like he did with Five. 

Knife play? Gun play? He could have died!

His brother was a crazy asshole.

He glared at his spent appendage twitching for more.

But was it another one off, or…?

“You go home.” He’d said.

“Fix your mess there.” He’d said.

Except, he didn’t know how. 

Five.

He needed Five to help him figure things out. He didn’t want some other man fucking his wife better than him… but maybe, if he could ask Five to check in on this book club, if it really was his worst fear, maybe he could convince her to go back with him rather than someone else. Tell her she can have Five too.

Could he accept that? 

That had been his logic before. Five was better than a stranger. 

But at the same time, he couldn’t deny he had actually enjoyed this. 

Was there a way he could have both?

“Are you drowning in there Diego?” Five leaned against the doorway, still just as naked.

“Oh, shut it.” He rolled his eyes as he stepped out, snatching a clean folded towel from the shelves under the sink

“Just checking. And I told you not to use all the hot water.” He walked inside. The bathroom really wasn’t big enough for two people to just pass each other, instead they were chest to chest, again. 

“That wasn’t half bad,” he started. 

“Glad you enjoyed the service. Please, do come again.” Five said, drily.

“Can I?” The words were out before he could stop them, totally ignoring the irony dripping from the other’s voice.

“No.” The answer was sharp. “Go back to Lila. Back to your house. Your kids. You had your free trial, now it’s time to go back to reality.”

“Maybe…” you could come home with me? No. That was asking for the gun to come out to play again. Aiming at his mouth. Or at his foot if he was lucky. Unless he wanted to suck the barrel again, this kink was now negotiable. But first, he needed to find a reason for Five to come back to them. “Can you check that book club? Please? Help me out with Lila?”

There.

The ball was in his court now.