Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There are countless ways parents show affection to their children. Like many children of the wealthy, Ricky grew up knowing comfort not from the touch of his parents’ embraces but money.

Where most children were taught patience, that wanting something did not mean having it instantly, Ricky was taught the opposite.

The moment he opened his mouth to ask, the thing he wanted appeared. And his parents never hesitated, because to them, giving was easier than saying no. He learned early that money could give the world to him.

They gave him everything. Literally.

When five-year-old Ricky demanded a real car, his parents bought him one. The little boy cried in frustration when he realized he couldn’t move it even a little, and that was when his parents offered him their version of a life lesson. ‘Know your own ability before you ask for something.’

As a child, Ricky owned things he couldn’t yet use, and he gradually learned to ask only for what was within his reach.

This was far from normal, but then again, neither was his parents’ wealth. By his teenage years, he had grown into someone who never heard the word “no,” yet was strangely careful in what he demanded.

Ricky never lacked anything. All he had to do was breathe, and money would flow to him. Everything he wanted, he had.

People often say no child is simply born gifted.

Every child has potential, but only those fortunate enough to be nurtured in the right environment can fully develop it. In that sense, Ricky was the perfect example of both.

He was born with talent, and raised in a home where his parents could provide endless opportunities.

One day, his preschool teacher mentioned that Ricky might have an eye for visual art to his parents. Soon, the house was filled with expensive and beautiful paintings, hung on every wall to prove that Ricky’s taste for beauty had a place to grow.

That was the beginning of his love for painting. By the time he reached school age, he was enrolled in an art school where Ricky’s talent and disciplined study began to blossom.

ꫂ❁

Ricky tossed his bag onto the passenger seat before sliding into the driver’s seat. He caught his reflection in the rearview mirror, tousled his hair to make it look effortlessly cool, then exhaled deeply.

He pressed the pedal, and the car glided forward, the elite neighborhood with its vast green scenery blurring past in streaks of morning sunlight and palm trees.

He pulled up in front of the campus building, his red sports car stopped. He is now a senior at one of the best art schools in California.

The sight of students staring in awe had long since become ordinary as Ricky stepped out of the car.

“Ricky!”

He turned to see two boys approaching.

“Party at Ivana’s house… yay or nay?” Mark, his Math classmate, called.

“No,” Ricky replied simply, shutting his locker and pulling out his notebook.

Later, in the cafeteria, Dean was chewing a hotdog across from Ricky at their usual table, with Carla seated beside him.

The three often had lunch together, and usually Carla’s friend Amanda joined them, but today her seat was empty. They were seniors majoring in Visual Art like Ricky.

“Where’s Amanda?” Dean asked, still chewing the hotdog.

“Oh, she’s insane,” Carla replied, rolling her eyes. “She asked her Korean teacher for extra lessons after class.” Her voice was clearly heard in annoyance.

“What? Didn’t she say she was giving up on Korean class?” Dean raised a brow, sipping his orange juice.

“Well, I think it’s the new teacher. He’s a man, and he is no joke,” Carla said, leaning forward.

“He’s so handsome, and that bitch gets to spend even more time with him!”

Dean chuckled. “How do you even know what he looks like?”

“I went to the Korean classroom to find her,” Carla said. “He told me to leave, just like that. But honestly… I can’t blame her.” She replayed her memory about that teacher.

Dean grinned, “So… is he more handsome than Ricky?”

Carla’s gaze flicked to Ricky, catching him off guard with the sudden comparison.

“Ricky is the most handsome student in this school,” she declared without hesitation. “But that teacher? He’s the most handsome adult I’ve ever seen, but hey, I bet that teacher is still really young… early twenties maybe.”

Her tone was so dramatic it made Dean burst into laughter. Ricky, meanwhile, let out a small laugh, siding with Dean by assuming Carla was exaggerating.

ꫂ❁

Like most art focused schools, this one only required two years of PE to fulfill the credit. Ricky had already taken his during 9th and 10th grade.

He never really liked sports, but he loved playing basketball. His PE grades weren’t great overall, but when it came to basketball, he always scored perfectly.

Sometimes Ricky missed those days when he’d skip lunch just to shoot hoops after PE class in the school gym.

Today, the gym was still open for students. Not many kids here cared about sports, most preferred to spend their time working on projects for their majors.

Ricky could’ve used the extra time to prepare for his exhibition or get ahead in his AP courses. But every Friday, he found himself drawn to basketball instead.

Ricky had just set his bag down on the floor when his phone rang. Dean was calling.

“Ricky, can I borrow your car?”

“I’ll give you the keys in the parking lot.”

“Yes, I’m already here,” Dean said.

Ricky headed to the lot, spotting Dean waving at him.

“Alice said her favorite color is red, and my car is blue. Wouldn’t it be impressive if I drove her home in your car instead?” Dean grinned, clearly talking about his new girlfriend, a sophomore.

Dean tossed Ricky his car keys. “Let’s swap back on Monday.”

Ricky walked closer and tossed his own keys in return.

“Oh, Ricky… here!” Just as Ricky turned to leave, Dean threw him a carton of strawberry milk. Ricky caught it easily.

Strawberry milk was his favorite, and he knew Japanese brands were the best. He smiled, then headed back toward the gym.

He expected it to be empty, but there was someone inside.

A man was on the court, dribbling and shooting. His skill was quite good, with a posture worth watching.

Ricky leaned against the wall near the bag he had set down earlier, drinking his strawberry milk as he watched the man play.

Five minutes must have passed before the man finally noticed him. Ricky crumpled the empty carton of milk, a bit startled at being caught staring.

The man stopped playing and stepped closer to Ricky, handing him the basketball with both hands.

“I think you want to play,” he said with a small smile. He was about the same height as Ricky, already signaling that he was about to leave.

From an early age, Ricky had always shown a weakness for beautiful things. His parents dressed him like a perfect doll in fine clothes, surrounded him with a mansion full of art, a flawless garden, and endless landscapes of beauty.

And now, standing in front of him was a man whose face looked perfectly sculpted. Ricky thought his smile was even prettier than the California sunset he liked so much.

Those dark, shining eyes, that striking black hair—was it even possible for a man to look this handsome… and beautiful?

“Beautiful,” Ricky whispered to himself.

“Yes?” The man tilted his head, a brow raised.

“You play basketball beautifully. What about playing together?” Ricky caught the basketball, bounced it against the floor, and stepped forward. The man smiled again and  joined him.

Ricky pushed forward, moving around him and tossing the ball against the backboard. It rolled neatly into the hoop.

The man picked up the ball and dribbled slowly, then, with one quick step, he slid past Ricky and tossed the ball upward. It wasn’t the cleanest shot, but it still went in.

They went back and forth like that, taking turns, scoring, laughing together. Ricky found himself smiling wider than he expected, his heart racing from the way the man’s hair fell into his eyes and the small grin at his lips each time he made a shot.

They were sweaty and out of breath, and without even noticing, they had already spent thirty minutes running and jumping nonstop. Finally, both of them collapsed onto the floor, lying flat on their backs.

“That was fun,” Ricky said, turning his head to look at the man beside him.

“The NBA is waiting for you,” the man giggled. He actually meant it, Ricky’s basketball skills were way too good for a student from an art school.

Ricky laughed at the casual mention of the NBA, then pushed himself up to sit and glanced at the man still lying below him.

“What’s your name?” He asked.

“Jiwoong. Jiwoong Kim,” the man replied, sitting up as well.

“I’m Ricky Shen, a senior majoring in Visual Art.” Ricky offered his hand.

“That’s cool,” Jiwoong said, shaking it.

“Then… are you an alumni?” Ricky asked, now breathing normally again.

“No,” Jiwoong shook his head. “I came here to substitute for the Korean teacher who’s undergoing surgery. So I’ll be teaching a Korean class for about two weeks.”

Ricky immediately recalled Carla’s dramatic rant about the ‘new Korean teacher’ yesterday.

This school had a selective World Language program, offering French, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, and now, recently, Korean.

“Oh, I see.” Ricky stood up, brushing off his clothes, and Jiwoong followed.

“What about another round?” Ricky asked, dribbling the ball again.

Jiwoong smirked, “Of course.”

They drank plenty of water after sweating so much.

Ricky checked his watch. “Oh—we have to leave.”

The school gym closed at 7 p.m., and it was only fifteen minutes before.

Jiwoong nodded and slipped into the small room to return the ball. A moment later, they casually stepped out of the gym together.

“Where do you live?” Ricky asked.

Jiwoong mentioned a familiar neighborhood in the city.

“That’s quite far,” Ricky mumbled.

Jiwoong shook his head. “No, it’s about fifteen minutes walking.”

“I’ll pass by that way on my route home. I can drop you off,” Ricky offered.

“Is that okay?” Jiwoong asked.

Ricky nodded immediately.

He was used to seeing his own bright red car, but tonight it was Dean’s dark blue one waiting for him. Ricky sighed, pulling open the driver’s side door, while Jiwoong slid into the passenger seat.

The stale trace of smoke lingered inside. On the seat, an adult magazine lay open. Jiwoong barely glanced at it before quietly moving it aside to sit down. He didn’t even flinch.

But Ricky—he was furious. Furious at Dean, and ashamed that Jiwoong had to see it. His stomach twisted. His eyes darted away, only to spot a pack of cigarettes on the other side of the console.

“It’s my friend’s car,” Ricky said quickly, fastening his seatbelt. His hands tightened on the steering wheel.

“Huh?” Jiwoong tilted his head, not catching his embarrassment.

“I swear, it’s not mine! Dean made me swap cars. My car is red!” Ricky started the engine, his voice too loud.

Jiwoong looked at him, lips twitching, as if he was suppressing a laugh.

“I’m not lying!” Ricky insisted, flooring the pedal a little too sharply as he pulled out of the lot.

“I see,” Jiwoong said at last, turning his eyes to the window.

A few minutes passed in silence before Ricky spoke again.

“Do you have any plans tomorrow?”

“No.”

“Then… what about going to the basketball court? There’s a park near the school.” His words rushed out.

“That sounds great.” Jiwoong smiled, then pointed at the roadside. “Oh, you can drop me here.”

“Good! I’ll pick you up here again at ten a.m., is that okay?” Ricky said quickly.

Jiwoong nodded. “See you tomorrow, then.” He waved before closing the door.

After a few minutes, Ricky pulled over to the side of the road and rummaged his phone from his pocket

He dialed Dean. “Let’s swap our cars back! Where are you now?”

Dean’s voice came through the speaker. He named a city over a hundred miles away.

“What the fuck are you doing there?” Ricky barked.

“I’m going to Alice’s grandparents’ house!” Dean replied.

“Share the map. I’m coming to get my car.”

“Hey—wait—” Dean started, but Ricky hung up before he could finish.

Gripping the wheel tight, he set his jaw and with a surge of determination, he pressed the gas. His eyes narrowed on the highway signs ahead. He was getting his car back, no matter what.

For some reason, Ricky wanted Jiwoong to see him as a good guy, someone who had nothing to do with the awful things left behind in Dean’s car.

But the truth was, Ricky wasn’t even sure what it really meant to be ‘good.’

Did it mean obeying your parents? If so, then he had always been the perfect son. He never rebelled, never argued. He accepted everything like that was the only way to live.

Still, how could he know for certain? His parents had never explained it, never laid out what was right or wrong. Those words were never spoken in his house.

Instead, Ricky pieced it together elsewhere.

Back in preschool, there had been a teacher who constantly reminded the class how to behave, how to listen, how to share, how to raise their hand before speaking, how to say sorry when they made a mistake. In her voice, he had found the structure his parents never offered. So he memorized her lessons, carrying them with him long after he left her classroom.

To Ricky, being good simply meant following the rules, doing as he was told, fitting into the order of things. That was the only model of goodness he had.

And that was why the cigarettes and magazines in Dean’s car burned in his mind. To him, those things were wrong, proof of someone being ‘bad.’ And the last thing Ricky wanted was for Jiwoong to think of him that way.

Not that he cared about Dean’s habits, Dean could do anything he wanted. Ricky never interfered in other people’s lives. He had no intention of minding anyone else’s business. As long as he could hold on to his own idea of being good, that was enough for him.

ꫂ❁

Ricky never asked for his parents’ time.

When he had already been given everything he wanted, what use was there in asking for something as vague as time?

He had no siblings, he watched no one but his parents. Ricky had learned that his father worked to give him money, and his mother worked to fulfill his every demand.

That was their way of showing love. And Ricky noticed something important, they seemed happier when he asked for things than when he asked to play. So he stopped wondering if he should ask for more.

He was mostly raised by nannies.

When he was ten years old, Ricky witnessed something that haunted him forever. One evening, he saw his father strike his nanny so violently that her face bloomed with bruises.

The crime? She had tried to use Ricky, she told Ricky to ask his parents for something she needed, her selfish and greedy favor. His parents had found out they punished her like that.

That night changed Ricky. He refused to accept another nanny after she was dismissed. He told his parents he didn’t want anyone else in the house and he would just wait for them to come back home alone.

From then on, Ricky lived alone in the mansion, while his parents drifted further into their work.

When Ricky was fourteen, their business expanded so rapidly they decided to relocate the company headquarters to a different State. Ricky refused to go with them. He didn’t want to abandon the city he knew, so he told them firmly.

His parents agreed without much hesitation. They arranged for a housekeeper, Mrs. Xu and some gardeners to come once a week. They also assigned a secretary to oversee Ricky’s school documents, bills, and formal needs, Mr. Jones, but he only showed up when Ricky called for him.

Ricky got back home past midnight, but strangely, he woke up like usual the next morning, he didn’t feel tired after last night’s long drive.

Now, he sat at the kitchen counter with a protein bar in one hand, his phone in the other. He scrolled before finally typing in the name he’d been thinking about all night.

Jiwoong. Jiwoong Kim. Kim Jiwoong.

Each variation he tried, but nothing came close to Jiwoong he knew.

He sighed, taking a sip of his milk again.

Just like he promised, Ricky pulled up at the same spot where he had dropped Jiwoong off last night.

He rolled the window down, and Jiwoong, already waiting by the roadside, smiled before coming into the car.

“This is my car,” Ricky said, recalling the unpleasant memories last night inside Dean’s car.

Jiwoong almost burst out laughing. He could tell right away that this car was much more expensive than Ricky’s friend’s, but he kept it to himself.

“It’s so cool, Ricky,” Jiwoong said instead.

Like a cat being praised, Ricky smiled proudly, showing his small white teeth behind his soft, red lips.

While they waited, Ricky bought a couple of snacks from a nearby cart, and the two of them sat on a bench. The air was warm with the sound of bouncing balls, laughter, and music from someone’s speaker in the distance.

After playing basketball to their heart’s content, they wandered into a restaurant nearby for lunch. Time slipped by while they ate, talked, and even exchanged numbers. Bit by bit, they began to learn small things about each other.

“I have to leave now,” Jiwoong said, checking his phone.

“Oh? Should I drop you off?” Ricky reached for his keys, but Jiwoong shook his head.

“Are you done here too?” Jiwoong asked.

Ricky nodded immediately, sipping at his strawberry smoothie until his cheeks puffed out, trying to drain the last bit through the straw.

“Hey, relax. I’ll wait until you finish.” Jiwoong leaned back, watching him quietly. Ricky’s face flushed red, but he calmed down and finally emptied the glass. They left together and headed to Ricky’s car.

“Can we play basketball again tomorrow?” Ricky asked, sneaking glances at Jiwoong.

“I’m sorry, I have to prepare material for the next day,” Jiwoong said. His eyes stayed steady on Ricky, and from his gaze Ricky could tell he wasn’t lying.

Truth was, Jiwoong had a mountain of work waiting for him at home, especially for his Korean class.

“Then what about after school on Monday?” Ricky’s expression, gloomy just a second ago, suddenly brightened with new hope. “You said you’re from LA, right? You probably don’t know much about this town yet. I’ll show you the places I usually go after school!”

“Oh, that sounds nice. But I think I can only go around 5 p.m.,” Jiwoong replied.

“That’s fine! I’ll stay in the art studio to work on my project anyway, so let’s meet at the same parking lot at 5!” Ricky said quickly, his smile wide.

“Alright,” Jiwoong returned the smile before turning his gaze back out the window.

ꫂ❁

And they really did go to the places Ricky often visited after school.

On Monday, they went to Ricky’s favorite spot in his hometown, Irvine.

By the time they arrived at Spectrum, the sky had already turned orange, and the neon lights around the plaza were starting to blink, glowing prettily against the evening.

They wandered into a shop where Jiwoong noticed a pair of simple black caps with a  pretty design.

He turned to Ricky. “What do you think?”

“It’s pretty,” Ricky replied without hesitation.

Jiwoong pulled out his wallet and bought them both, one for himself, one for Ricky.

“They’re not that expensive.”  Jiwoong thought while Ricky was busy admiring his reflection in the mirror.

Ricky’s eyes lit up as he adjusted the cap, then turned to Jiwoong and gently placed the other on his head. “Now we match!”

They ended the night at the cinema, sharing popcorn and soda. Ricky barely followed the movie, his eyes kept drifting to Jiwoong beside him, who was fiddling with his new cap under the flickering light of the screen.

ꫂ❁

The next day, Ricky brought Jiwoong to the largest mall in this State.

For Jiwoong, malls weren’t anything new, he grew up in L.A., surrounded by city lights and endless shopping centers. Somehow he felt nostalgic because he used to go to this place several times in the past.

They strolled around until Ricky stopped in front of a fancy watch store. The glass cases sparkled under the lights.

“Which one do you think is the best?” Ricky asked.

Jiwoong leaned over the display, eyes landing on one that caught his attention most. “Uh… that one,” he said.

Ricky’s smile spread instantly. “Nice. I like it too.”

Then, without a second thought, Ricky told the staff, “I’ll take two.”

Jiwoong whipped his head around. “Wait… two?”

Ricky just shrugged. “One for me, one for you.”

Jiwoong panicked a little. “No way, I can’t! These things cost, like, thousands!”

Ricky waved him off. “You bought us the caps yesterday. It’s my turn.”

By the time Jiwoong could say anything else, the cashier was already swiping Ricky’s card. It all happened so fast that Jiwoong just stood there speechless, looking at the box when it was handed to him. Walking out of the store, Ricky looked ridiculously happy, swinging his bag with a wide smile.

ꫂ❁

By Wednesday, Ricky brought Jiwoong to a spot he called a heaven for Asian food.

Over steaming dishes and the buzz of chatter in Mandarin, Korean, and Japanese from the surrounding tables, Ricky leaned closer and confessed with a grin, “My parents are Chinese, so I grew up loving all kinds of Asian food.”

As Jiwoong listened, Ricky went on, telling him how Irvine felt almost like living in Asia itself. “Nearly half the people here are Asian. Sometimes I forget I’m in the U.S. at all.” His voice softened for a moment.

“I was actually born in Shanghai actually and lived there for two years before we moved here, but every Lunar New Year, I go back with my family. Maybe that’s why this place feels so natural to me.”

Ricky was excited because it was his first time going to a Korean restaurant with an actual native Korean. He couldn’t wait to hear Jiwoong’s official review and the thought alone made him smile.

The owner was Korean, and Jiwoong chatted with him easily. Ricky found himself fascinated only by just listening, Jiwoong’s English was already natural, but hearing him switch to Korean so smoothly felt… different, like finding another side of him.

Before long, their table was packed, bubbling stew, sizzling meat, and many side dishes. The owner even gave them a couple of extras.

They ate right away, too busy enjoying the food to talk much. Their chopsticks sometimes clashed, Jiwoong showed Ricky how to wrap lettuce the right way, and Ricky kept laughing at his own clumsy attempts.

“Woah, it really feels like I’m eating in Korea,” Jiwoong said with a wide smile.

“You picked the best restaurant with the best  menu!” Ricky gave him a thumbs up.

Jiwoong chuckled. “Next time, show me the best Chinese food.”

It was the first time Jiwoong had asked Ricky for something. Jiwoong didn’t think much of it, but Ricky felt happy.

“I’ve got an extra art class tomorrow until night,” Ricky said, “but what about Friday? After we play basketball at the school gym again?”

“That’s cool!” Jiwoong nodded.

ꫂ❁

Jiwoong didn’t know where Ricky was taking him tonight, and he never bothered to ask. Somehow, he just trusted Ricky to lead him to the right places.

But as he looked out the window, Jiwoong noticed the change. The streets grew wider, lined with tall trees and perfectly kept landscaping.

The houses stood far apart, hidden behind stone walls, with huge gates, and long driveways stretched into the hills. It felt different here, it felt secluded and private. Jiwoong had never been in a neighborhood like this before.

Ricky noticed Jiwoong’s confusion so he told Jiwoong that they were heading to his house, he already asked Mrs. Xu to cook the best Chinese foods.

When Ricky parked and they got out, Jiwoong thought for a second he was in front of some hotel. The place was huge, with wide steps leading up to tall glass doors.

Inside, it was even more surprising. The ceilings were high, everything neat and modern. But what really caught him was the backyard, through the glass doors, a pool shimmered under the night sky, glowing blue from the lights beneath.

They walked to the dining room.

On the table, a spread of dishes was already waiting for them. Mrs. Xu was setting down the last dish when they entered. She smiled politely, and said about calling if they needed more before she left.

Ricky pulled out a chair for Jiwoong, his eyes bright with anticipation. “Okay, this, this is the real deal. Mrs. Xu’s cooking is the best.”

Jiwoong picked up his chopsticks and tried the first dish, his brows rising almost instantly. “Wow, it’s good.” He reached for another bite, then another dish. “This one’s even better… seriously, it’s delicious.”

Ricky leaned back, just like Jiwoong when he saw Ricky eating Korean food. “Told you.” He nudged a plate closer. “Try that one next. It’s my favorite.”

Jiwoong did, nodding with his mouth full, making Ricky laugh.

Dish after dish Jiwoong tried it, Ricky barely touched the food, he was too immersed looking at Jiwoong eating happily.

After dinner, Ricky led Jiwoong out to the pool. A small table was already set with dessert, and the view stretched wide, the curve of the hills, the silhouettes of mansions, and lights reflected in the still water.

They sat there for a while.

Then Jiwoong spoke. “Ricky… it’s my last day at school.”

Ricky’s head turned sharply. “Already? Has it really been two weeks?”

Jiwoong nodded. “Yeah. Time went fast.” He smiled softly, and in the glow of the pool lights, his features looked almost unreal, like a sculpture placed perfectly in this beautiful mansion. “Thank you for everything.”

“Are you going back to L.A. too?” Ricky asked quickly.

“Yes. I packed earlier today. I’ll head back tomorrow evening”

Ricky went silent and then hesitated, “ What about staying here tonight?”

Jiwoong blinked. Ricky looked just as surprised at his own words  too, but he didn’t take them back. “We can play basketball on my PlayStation. It’ll be fun, right?”

Those eyes again, bright and insistent were impossible to ignore.

“I didn’t bring clothes.”

“You can use mine. I have some new ones.” Ricky leaned forward, determined. He wasn’t giving up this time and he was successfully making Jiwoong stay tonight.

After showering, Jiwoong had changed into the satin pajamas Ricky gave him. They spent hours in Ricky’s room, playing basketball on the PlayStation, laughing and teasing each other until midnight.

When Jiwoong finally stood up, ready to go back to the guest room, he reached for the doorknob. But before he could open it, Ricky’s hand caught his arm, pulling him back.

“Wait,” Ricky whispered, and without a second thought, pressed his lips against Jiwoong’s.

Jiwoong didn’t move. Ricky took the stillness as permission and leaned in deeper, he kissed over his jaw, the curve of his cheeks, and his mouth sliding to Jiwoong’s neck.

Jiwoong froze completely, his body stiff as memories, dark, awful ones, flashed through his mind. Ricky’s lips sucked at his skin, and though Jiwoong didn’t flinch, his heart pounded so hard Ricky could hear it.

When Ricky’s hand began to trail down toward Jiwoong’s waist inside his pajama, Jiwoong suddenly jerked back to himself. His palm smacked Ricky’s hand away, and with a forceful push, he shoved Ricky off.

Ricky staggered only to see tears streaking down Jiwoong’s pale cheeks.

“Jiwoong…” Ricky reached out instinctively, aching to wipe them away. “I—I’m sorry…” His chest tightened at the sight of Jiwoong crying.

But Jiwoong’s expression shifted into something like resentment.

“People are indeed disgusting,” Jiwoong said coldly before leaving Ricky’s room.

He went straight to the guest room, changed out of the pajamas, stuffed his clothes back into his backpack, and slung it over his shoulder.

“Jiwoong, wait… please!” Ricky’s voice cracked as he chased after him.

But Jiwoong didn’t stop. Ricky’s pleas echoed down the grand hallways.

“Let me drive for you!” Ricky shouted desperately when they reached the front door.

Jiwoong didn’t even look back. He stepped out of the house, past the gate, and into the chill of the night.

Ricky froze on the doorstep, his chest aching. Jiwoong’s anger was undeniable, if Ricky forced him now, he’d only hurt him more. And yet… the thought of Jiwoong walking alone through this cold and vast neighborhood tore him.

With trembling hands, Ricky grabbed his car keys and slid into the driver’s seat.

Jiwoong’s steps echoed on the quiet road. His mind filled with storms. Memories he had buried for years the fear, the shame, the helplessness, flashed through him all at once. He had thought Ricky was different, someone who wouldn’t cross that line.

Ricky caught up quickly, pulling the car beside Jiwoong on the quiet road.

“Please,” Ricky begged through the open window, “At least let me take you to the main road.”

Jiwoong’s eyes burned with rage as he shook his head.

“I won’t forgive you if you keep following me. Just leave me alone!!! GET LOST!!!”

The words hit Ricky like a slap. He slowed to a stop, helpless, watching as Jiwoong’s back grew smaller and smaller, swallowed by the night.

Inside the car, Ricky’s hands trembled on the wheel. It wasn’t until his vision blurred that he realized he was crying too.

It was the first rejection in his life.

Is this what it feels like… to hurt this much?

Ricky asked himself.

Ricky had always wanted to be a good person. To obey the rules, to fit into society, to live in order, to be someone who lived with pride.

He thought he had successfully lived like that only for himself, to his own value. But then, when that man with beautiful black eyes and pretty black hair came into his life, Ricky only wanted to be a good person for him—and he failed.

The scene of that night still haunted him.

Those eyes wet with tears, his red glossy lips trembling, his body stiff and shivering as Ricky kissed him.

He didn’t know it would be such a big deal. Wasn’t it common for an adult like Jiwoong to kiss like that? And Ricky was at that age too… but why did he react that way?

He couldn’t understand, but Jiwoong’s expression told him he had experienced terrible things. And again, Ricky thought he was wrong, for doing that without his consent. So he became a bad guy to him.

After that night, Ricky couldn’t contact him. Jiwoong’s phone was turned off, and even after a week, Ricky still couldn’t reach him. He guessed Jiwoong had changed his number.

Jiwoong once mentioned that since he came from the coastal cities of L.A, the scenery was so beautiful that he wanted to take Ricky there sometime, as a way to return how Ricky had brought him to some places in Orange.

At school, he asked Mrs. Lee, the official Korean teacher, about Jiwoong. He asked if she knew his address in L.A., or anything about him.

She said she didn’t. She had simply asked her friend in Koreatown to send someone who could teach Korean for two weeks, and Jiwoong came, passed the requirement, and took the job. Mrs. Lee had arranged temporary accommodation for him near the school.

So it was possible Jiwoong went back to Koreatown to work. But for some reason, Ricky couldn’t bring himself to find him at that time.

He felt ashamed of himself. Every time he painted, the beauty of Jiwoong that he couldn’t capture in his paintings ached in his heart. Every time he played basketball, Jiwoong’s laughter lingered with him, even after three years had passed.

Every time he drove past the highways that cut through the cities in L.A, since Jiwoong said he came from that city, the city looked incredibly beautiful, because Ricky believed he was still there.

Ricky longed to visit the coastal cities of L.A., but something inside him wasn’t ready yet. So he drove past, letting the highways that stretched above those cities remind him of Jiwoong.

The long stretches of gray asphalt, the concrete, and the buildings that barely peeked above it all were dull, but strangely, he loved driving through them. Or maybe… he just loved Jiwoong that much.

He didn’t know when he would be ready to look for him. He was too scared Jiwoong would resent him so much. He didn’t want to be hated by him. So he chose to hide until he was ready. And yet, his heart kept aching, missing him.

There was not a single day Ricky didn’t think about him. At least once a day, Jiwoong comes to mind. Even in his sleep, he met him often in his dreams.

ꫂ❁

Happiness doesn’t last long. Jiwoong learned it was true when he was still little.

He had lived in a nearly collapsed apartment block in Seoul with his mother, barely surviving after his father died in a factory accident. The company admitted its fault and handed over the compensation they deserve.

For the first time, life felt like it could change. His mother sold their old place, and they moved into a better house.

But that brief glimpse of happiness lasted only weeks. Their landlord turned out to be a scammer, and they were thrown out in a single night.

With nowhere else to go, they went to Jiwoong’s aunt’s house, where every day Jiwoong could feel how much she hated their presence.

He became a child who ran errands and did chores, whose tiny hands grew red and sore while his mother worked.

Eventually, they moved into a small goshiwon. Even as a child, he noticed things. How his mother worked at night, how she returned at dawn with heavy makeup on her face, how she slept until noon while he went off to school alone.

Jiwoong still had a thought about the beginning of his misery when they received the money from his father’s death and became slightly happy because of that.

His mother kept working the same hours, and Jiwoong noticed how much her face changed with makeup after she came home. They lived like that until Jiwoong was in fourth grade.

Then another twist of fate hit. His mother told him he would have a stepfather and that they were moving overseas.

Jiwoong never believed it until a tall man with brown hair and blue eyes appeared in their home and stayed the night.

After that, his mother stopped working nights and stayed with Jiwoong for two weeks. When the man returned, they went to the airport and that’s how Jiwoong moved to the U.S.

Jiwoong’s life had changed. Everything was brand new.

He lived well in a large, comfortable house, attended English classes, and went to a good elementary school.

His clothes were nicer, and with this family, he experienced a level of luxury he had never imagined. He and his mother obtained permanent residency, and for a while, Jiwoong felt like he was living his best life, thriving, and safe.

But the strange, uncomfortable things began when he entered middle school.

His stepfather, the man he had trusted as family, started crossing boundaries, invading Jiwoong’s personal space, and manipulating him in ways that left him anxious, fearful, and confused.

Jiwoong didn’t understand why he felt so powerless or why his stomach twisted every time the man was near, why he should be naked in front of him and sucked his dick.

Jiwoong never dared to tell his mother about it. He didn’t want to shatter her happiness. And yet, it kept happening. Jiwoong didn’t even dare to take a bath while his mother slept. He was scared, trapped in a foreign world and unable to protect himself.

Then another disaster struck his family. His stepfather was caught in an illegal transaction at his company and was immediately fired after the corruption was proven. All their assets were gone—the house, the car, everything. His stepfather was imprisoned.

Strangely, Jiwoong didn’t feel sadness. Instead, he felt relieved. His stepfather wouldn’t be able to touch and hurt him anymore.

His mom couldn’t handle the downfall after being used to a life of luxury. She just locked herself in her room and refused to move, to the point people had to drag her out. With the little money left, they ended up renting a small, cheap apartment.

But she wasn’t the same anymore. Jiwoong barely recognized her—her face, the way she acted, everything felt different. It hurt him, but what could he do?

He started working part-time jobs from evening until dawn, barely sleeping, just to cover the rent and keep them alive. Every dollar he earned, he saved. He thought at least he could take care of her.

Rags to riches to rags, his mother had nothing again after being showered with money. She could never satisfy her hunger for luxury goods once they were gone, so she secretly borrowed money from the ‘friends’ she knew in the Korean community. In truth, they were loan sharks, charging three times the amount in interest. With that money, she bought designer bags, heels, and clothes.

Jiwoong noticed something was off. He questioned her, but before he could get answers, the next day she disappeared with all the goods.

Two months later, a group of Koreans tracked down Jiwoong’s new apartment. They pressured him to pay back the debt, threatening him with harassment and violence. From then on, Jiwoong had no choice, he would do anything to get money.

Jiwoong's savings that he had scraped together with his aching hands were far from enough. Jiwoong was still only in high school, yet he had already tasted the bitterness of life more than most adults ever would.

Jiwoong was aware of the value of his looks. Handsome, with a strong, lean body, he drew attention wherever he went, his sharp masculinity and subtle elegance attracted both girls and boys.

He dated and flirted mostly with rich girls because of their money to help him survive and pay his mother’s debt. Everything depended on him finding someone willing to spend. Even his sexual experiences were done for money.

At school, the students already knew. Some degraded him and called him a slut, but to him, those words were meaningless.

Anyway, some students still found him attractive and were willing to spend money on him too. Sometimes, he would go to elite bars just to find rich people willing to spend money on him as well.

Thanks to his looks, Jiwoong earned tens of thousands of dollars right before graduation, just to pay off his mother’s debt. Even though he had money, he never got to enjoy it, he barely spent it for himself.

Jiwoong knew better than anyone that no one truly cared about him, and money always seemed to be his biggest problem. 

Sometimes his stomach twisted with resentment just from looking at the money, the source of all his misery. He hated the way he chased money until his muscles went numb, yet it was never enough.

After his high school graduation, his plan was simple. He would work as many part-time jobs as he could and live quietly.

But then, one of his teachers suggested he apply to a nearby community college for a hospitality program and it sounded promising and fit him so much. It could give him a real chance at a better future.

The problem was, Jiwoong didn’t have enough to cover the initial costs. That was when his close friend, Justin, offered to lend him the money he needed.

Jiwoong didn’t know it yet, but accepting that help would lead him straight into another painful chapter of his life.

Jiwoong sat hunched at the corner table, the only glass in front of him filled with water. He hadn’t ordered a thing, he couldn’t afford to. All the empty bottles and greasy plates belonged to Justin and Steven.

Justin leaned in too close, his hand clamped down on Jiwoong’s shoulder. “Two months, man. That’s what we agreed. You got my money?”

Jiwoong tried to escape. “Don’t joke. You said I could pay after the semester ends.”

Steven snickered, swirling his drink.

“Two months,” Justin repeated, “You heard that too, right, Steve?”

“Yes,” Steven said, reaching out to brush Jiwoong’s cheek with his knuckles.

Jiwoong’s anger and fear burnt inside him. “No… you’re lying. I heard what you said. You gave me a semester!”

Justin’s smile widened. He suddenly pressed his mouth against Jiwoong’s in a sloppy kiss before whispering against his lips, “Then maybe you can pay me back another way.”

Before Jiwoong could move, Justin and Steven shoved him into the restroom and Seteven locked it. Justin slammed Jiwoong’s back against the cold mirror.

“You’ve sold yourself before. Don’t act innocent now. You owe me, and this is how you’ll pay. I’ll forget that money, just give me your slutty asshole!” His hand loosened Jiwoong’s belt, and he jerked his pants down in one rough motion until Jiwoong’s buttock was bare.

The sudden rush of air against his skin made Jiwoong’s stomach drop. His face burned with humiliation as Justin whispered. “Wow, your ass is even prettier than I thought. No wonder you whore yourself.”

Steven laughed. “Fuck, Justin, look at that. He’s practically begging for it. Let me break him after you’re done.”

Jiwoong twisted, but Steven pinned his wrists to the mirror. He caught a glimpse of himself in the cracked reflection, his wide, terrified eyes, the helpless arch of his back as Justin shoved his bulged pants into his ass.

His stepfather’s shadow flashed on his mind.

“NO!!!”

Jiwoong screamed, “Don’t fucking touch me!”

Jiwoong twisted violently, smashing his fist into Justin’s jaw. The impact sent a jolt up his arm, but it gave him just enough space to shove Steven aside and approached that cracked mirror.

He grabbed a shard, holding it out with shaking hands. “You come near me again, I’ll cut you open.”

Justin shut his mouth, he wiped the blood at the corner of his lips and then Justin laughed. “So you don’t want to pay with your cute hole, what about with your big dick to fuck my ass?” Justin mocked Jiwoong only to receive a sharp gaze from Jiwoong, a hint of another rejection.

“Then give the money back today!”

Jiwoong’s chest rose and fell rapidly. His savings flashed in his mind—his rent, the college expenses he had been saving for, the money for food… If he gave it all to Justin, college would be over, and how could he survive the next month?

If he let himself be used, his debt with Justin would be cleared, and he could still keep his money for the future he had planned, but Jiwoong had sworn he would never let anyone use his body again after paying off his mother’s debt. For the sake of his pride, he had made that decision.

“I’ll pay you,” Jiwoong said, hiding his trembling hands. “All of it. You’ll get your damn money. Just leave me the hell alone!”

The city outside was alive with bright lights, glowing as if to brighten everything.

Everything except him. The only darkness left was inside himself. He held his tears back as he walked to the main road. Instinctively, he reached for his pocket, but it was empty. He had nothing left, not even enough for the cheapest cab.

So he walked. The cold bit into his skin, each step heavier than the last, his body begging him to give up, to sink into the pavement or even to crash into the passing cars.

But he kept going. By the time he reached his apartment, his legs were numb, his body at its limit.

He closed the door then slid down against it. His chest heaved, his knuckles still throbbing from the fight, but it was nothing compared to the ache inside him.

He pressed his face into his bloody hands, and at last the tears broke free, soaked his palms as he realized that he really had nothing left, he had no bright future waiting for him anymore.

From that point on, Jiwoong carried a heavy, a mix of mistrust, trauma, and survival instinct that shaped how he interacted with the world.

He knew he had to rely on no one but himself.

For Jiwoong, sex was never about love. It had been taken from him before he could even understand what intimacy meant. Even when he dated rich girls and boys in high school, trading his beauty for money to survive, deep down, it was never about desire, he was just simply trying to live.

Being touched was like reopening an old wound. Every kiss, every hand on his body, no matter how gentle it was, it never felt like affection. To him, it was just another reminder that he wasn’t seen as a person, only as something to be used, an animal to be fucked.

That’s why, when Ricky kissed him, when the boy he thought was different, tried to harass him the same way, it felt like a cruelest betrayal.

Those memories never left him. It wasn’t about Ricky anymore, it was everyone from his past. His tears weren’t only from that moment, they were from years. Turning him into an object, from the bitter truth that no matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise, they always demanded sex.

So his resentment wasn’t just for Ricky. It was for the world, for everyone who had hurt him so much. It also kept reminding him that happiness never lasted, love always altered into demand.

By the time Jiwoong reached his apartment, his foot ached from the long walk to the main road, he collapsed on his bed.

But that pain was nothing compared to the disgust twisting inside him.

Ricky was only a kid. Maybe not even legal yet. Then why had he overreacted like that? The shock in Ricky’s eyes still lingered in his mind, his confusion, almost frightened. A naive boy probably couldn’t even control himself in the rush of the moment.

Jiwoong was an adult. Just stopping him should have been enough. He didn’t need to run away, didn’t need to spit such harsh words that left Ricky standing frozen in his own house.

So why had he been so furious?

He didn’t know. All he knew was that his anger had hurt Ricky.

That was why Jiwoong thought he shouldn’t see Ricky again. If even a simple kiss could shatter him like that, if his anger could turn so sharp and reckless, then staying near Ricky would only cause more pain.

So he turned off his phone. He changed his number. He cut the contact before Ricky could ever reach him again.

It was the only way he knew to keep from hurting him further.

ꫂ❁

Chapter Text

It’s summer, when both locals and tourists filled the streets and every spot in the heart of L.A. was heaven and unforgettable.

Ricky stepped out from his bright red sports car and took off his sunglasses. There was no beach nearby, but the town was filled with hangul signs.

Wearing a black shirt and black slacks, Ricky looked different. Who else but him would dress in such gloomy colors in this bright and sunny summer? Yet, thanks to his tall figure and handsome face, people were left speechless whenever they saw him.

Ricky strolled around, and whenever he saw a Korean language academy sign, he didn’t hesitate to enter. A Korean with fluent English welcomed Ricky, but he got straight to the point.

“Is there any tutor named Kim Jiwoong?” he asked.

She shook her head.

Ricky kept walking, reading every sign. Normally, he hated going outside, but for Jiwoong, somehow it felt like nothing. Luckily, the weather turned cloudy that afternoon.

By the fifth Korean language academy with no results, Ricky stopped to rest in a café. He ordered a large cup of strawberry ice cream, and he liked it so much, it was the tastiest strawberry ice cream he had had in a long time.

A group of young girls came in, chatting noisily behind Ricky’s seat. He didn’t mean to overhear, but they were so loud he couldn’t help it.

“Oh, I thought he was a K-POP idol! Who expected he’s a tutor?” a curly-haired girl said.

“Me too! At our first lesson I couldn’t focus on learning, his face was unreal. I even asked if he was a member of a boy group,” a girl with braces replied excitedly.

“Same, hahaha, Jiwoong oppa is mine, you know?” another said, and they burst into laughter.

They stopped immediately when Ricky turned, as if he wanted to join their gossip.

“You said Jiwoong?” Ricky asked.

“Oh my god, you are so handsome,” one of them blurted.

“Ah… I need a Korean tutor too. Can you tell me which academy it is?” Ricky asked, a bit embarrassed at how quickly he had reacted.

“Sure,” one of them said, and mentioned the name of the academy.

“Thank you!” Ricky smiled.

The girls froze, his smile was too dazzling.

Through the internet, he quickly found the exact location, and soon he was standing in front of a smaller academy than the five he had visited before.

“Perhaps there is a tutor named Kim Jiwoong?” Ricky asked inside.

“Let’s sit down first,” the employee guided Ricky to the sofa.

“There is.”

“Can I meet him?” Ricky asked.

“Today he isn’t here. He only comes Monday to Thursday. Do you know him? I can call him for you,” she said softly.

“Uh, yes… but no, no need to call him,” Ricky said, his voice a bit hesitant.

“He isn’t accepting new students anymore. He’ll resign next month after his last class ends.”

That information made Ricky raise his eyebrows.

“Why—” He quickly corrected himself. “Oh no—if he isn’t accepting new students, that’s fine. Thank you so much,” Ricky said.

After a few more words, Ricky left the building.

Ricky woke up early that morning. To be honest, he hadn’t slept at all, because it was Monday, the day he would finally meet Jiwoong again.

He stood before his closet. Everything was black.

It didn’t mean he lacked confidence in those clothes, but since he had a plan, he needed to be less obvious. So he walked into a room where most of his unused clothes hung in the walk-in closet. There, he found his old high school clothes. Not as bright as summer fashion, but a denim shirt that matched with jeans.

After breakfast, Ricky headed to the garage. Red, white, and black cars were parked neatly. He chose the white one, his mission today was to blend in.

His heart raced as he pulled into a crowded parking lot near the academy where Jiwoong worked. Ricky tightened his grip on the steering wheel, scanning the busy surroundings.

Oh my god, it’s so crowded. His eyes worked overtime, trying to catch every face, searching for Jiwoong.

The academy wouldn’t open for another hour, but Ricky had come early just to make sure he would see him.

Minutes passed. Then, a car pulled into the space directly in front of him. Ricky barely noticed at first, until the driver stepped out—and his heartbeat stopped.

He rubbed his eyes in disbelief, but it was true.

He saw Jiwoong.

That striking black hair. That refined jawline. Those clear features, sharp even from afar. Ricky couldn’t mistake him.

Without realizing it, Ricky smiled wide and his eyes turned wet.

Ricky stayed in the café where he could clearly see Jiwoong’s car. He had ordered more than he could finish, just to keep his seat longer, until the drowsiness of midday caught him. He was half-dozing when he suddenly noticed Jiwoong’s car pulling out. Startled, Ricky jumped to his feet and ran to his own car.

Luckily, the streets were crowded. That made it easier to tail Jiwoong without being noticed. Ricky kept a proper distance, blending into the slow moving traffic, as other cars naturally flowed in the same direction.

Ricky knew this area. The sight of the wide coastline made it obvious, it was the iconic beach, the busiest tourist spot in the city. Jiwoong’s car stopped in front of a block of buildings lined with restaurants and cafes. After parking, Jiwoong walked toward a nearby cafe.

Ricky was about to follow him, but something inside stopped him cold. No matter how determined he had felt this morning, the truth was he wasn’t ready yet. He stayed in his car, watching the cafe.

Thirty minutes later, when Jiwoong finally reappeared, Ricky realized that Jiwoong wasn’t leaving after so long because he was working.

Dressed in a simple uniform, Jiwoong greeted customers with that wide, pretty smile Ricky knew too well, serving drinks to the tables outside.

Maybe tomorrow.

He told himself it would be better to meet Jiwoong tomorrow, since he had already pushed himself this far today. So when Jiwoong went back inside, Ricky didn’t follow him. Instead, he stepped out of his car and walked in the opposite direction, toward the beach.

He felt the refreshing ocean breeze on his face, his heart wishing for a miracle. Even if the chance was slim, even if it was nearly impossible, he still hoped that among the thousands of people here, he might meet Jiwoong again today.

Ricky let himself wander around.

It had been a long time since he last came to L.A. The last time was back when he was a junior, hanging out with his friends at this very beach. But he didn’t remember it being this beautiful, maybe because, back then, he didn’t yet know that someone as beautiful as Jiwoong existed in this city.

After that night, the night Jiwoong walked away from him, Ricky had avoided L.A. altogether. He only passed through its highways on the way to his art college, in another city far from his hometown. He knew this city was big, too big to run into Jiwoong by chance, but still, he was too afraid to face him.

In college, Ricky’s days had been consumed by assignments, exhibitions, and deadlines, leaving him barely any time to breathe. During past summer breaks, he would return home to his parents in a different State and stay there until the semester began again. But this year, having just finished his third year of college and waiting for his final year to begin, he had decided to remain in California.

And now, after catching even the briefest glimpse of Jiwoong in this very place, his mood had lifted. For the first time in a long while, Ricky simply allowed himself to live in the moment.

The noise of tourists filling every corner was proof it was truly summer. No matter the day, this place was always alive.

Ricky saw a pop-up art booth set up along the sand when he entered the beach area. A small crowd gathered around, tourists buying little sets of canvas, brushes, and paint, encouraged to make their own paintings.

Ricky’s instincts told him. His nature, always drawn to art, urged him closer. Without thinking, he bought a set and carried it down to the sand. The tools were simple, the paint cheap compared to the oils and brushes he was used to.

He sat on the sand, the Pacific breeze tousled his hair, he put a canvas on his knees. And as he began to move his hand, creating the  beautiful strokes, filled the blank canvas with colors.

Rising above the stretch of pier and sea, the great Ferris wheel turned slowly, its colors flashing against the blue sky and the endless ocean.

His brush moved almost on its own. He captured the circle of the wheel, colorful, bold and bright against the canvas. Around it, he poured deep shades of blue for sky above and sea below. He marked two small dots inside one cabin at the very peak of the Ferris wheel like two people together above.

The owner of the pop-up wandered between the easels, smiling at the cute beach scenery that most tourists painted. But when her eyes fell on Ricky’s canvas, her lips parted in awe.

“Woah…”

Ricky, brushing the last stroke onto the Ferris wheel, heard her voice and turned his head.

“You’re so talented!” she said, her eyes wide with admiration.

Ricky’s ears flushed red as he noticed a few others now peeking at his painting. He lowered his gaze, fumbling with his brush.

“T–thank you,” he said.

After gathering the canvas in his hands, Ricky slipped away, wandering back toward the shoreline. The sun was already dipping low.

He paused, letting the view wash over him. It was so beautiful, and as always it reminded him of Jiwoong.

The thought made him smile faintly. Standing there in the fading light, he imagined Jiwoong at his side, the two of them watching the sunset together.

Ricky pulled out his smartphone from his pocket. He wanted to capture this moment. But before he could open the camera, his lock screen lit up with a list of missed calls.

He frowned, swiping to check his notifications. Among them was a message from the bank telling him that his credit card was blocked due to an unusual transaction.

Ricky froze for a moment, feeling at the empty space where his wallet should have been.

He let out a soft laugh, shaking his head.

So this is what I get for hoping for romance?

He thought.

Instead of some miracle encounter, fate had given him a blocked card and a missing wallet. But even as the irony stung, he couldn’t bring himself to feel upset. It was fine. Today he had already seen something beautiful, and that was enough.

ꫂ❁

The amusement park had finally gone quiet. The laughter, the music, the bright neon lights had gone, leaving only the distant rush of the ocean. Jiwoong leaned against the side of the booth with a cigarette between his fingers, sharing a quiet smoke with a coworker.

His friend exhaled a cloud of smoke, then grinned as he reached into his pocket. From it, he pulled out a black leather wallet. “Found this on the beach,” he said proudly. “Swiped the card too, and bought a bunch of stuff before it got declined.”

Jiwoong chuckled, flicking ash off the end of his cigarette before putting it out on the railing. “I’m so happy for you!” he said lightly. “But hey, this wallet alone probably costs a lot. You should sell it.”

“Keep it, then.” His friend shoved the wallet into Jiwoong’s hand before wandering off into the night.

Jiwoong sighed and turned the wallet over casually. He knew it well, based on the luxury brand carved into it, the wallet was definitely expensive. He could probably get hundreds of dollars, even if he sold it illegally.

But then, as he flipped the wallet open, his heart skipped.

There, tucked behind the credit cards, was a student ID. Even in the dim light, he recognized that face instantly, the boy he hadn’t seen in years, the handsome student who now looked sharper in the picture.

Jiwoong’s fingers trembled as his eyes darted to the name printed beside it, just below the crest of the most prestigious art college in this State.

Instead of selling it, Jiwoong walked to the Lost & Found office nearby.

“I found this on the street,” he said, placing the wallet on the counter.

“Your ID, please, sir,” the staff member asked.

Jiwoong pulled out his wallet and showed his license. After a brief nod, the staff wrote something down on a form.

With only a few words exchanged, Jiwoong turned and left.

ꫂ❁

Ricky kept telling himself he would face Jiwoong tomorrow. But by the next day, and the day after that, until he lost count, he still wasn’t ready. He didn’t go back to Koreatown anymore, instead, he returned to the same parking slot, waiting. Sometimes he sat in the cafe before Jiwoong arrived. Other times, he wandered around the area until Jiwoong finally showed up, then quietly came back to his car, or simply watched him from the next door cafe.

Afterward, Ricky always went to the beach, stopping by the same painting pop-up he had visited before. The owner, Mrs. Blair, had grown used to his presence. He painted there often, and soon his works were displayed at the booth.

By his third visit, Ricky had begun offering portrait paintings for visitors. Each took no more than twenty minutes, and the results delighted everyone. He hadn’t been asked to, he just liked painting, and it gave him a way to spend his days near Jiwoong.

The drive across the counties didn’t bother him. Seeing Jiwoong was his happiness. Jiwoong’s smile had become his addiction, and for now, Ricky thought it was enough just to see him from afar.

He never kept the money he earned from his portraits, giving all of it to Mrs. Blair instead. In return, she always gave him food or little souvenirs. Ricky found it fun to receive them, small things he never would have bought for himself.

The booth closed once it was too dark to paint. Then Ricky would walk to the shore to watch the sunset before driving back home, another hour on the road.

ꫂ❁

Jiwoong smiled faintly as he stepped into a building downtown.

Mr. Woods, the owner of the pawn shop, recognized him immediately. Jiwoong had been coming here regularly, about once every four months, to make his payments on the watch he’d pawned years ago.

“So,” Mr. Woods said, “You’re finally ready to take it back?”

Jiwoong nodded, pulling a stack of hundred-dollar bills from his bag. “Yes. I’ve made all the payments, this should be the last one.”

Mr. Woods smiled as he counted the bills. “I remember when you left it here, begging me not to sell it and promising to pay it back bit by bit. And look at you… three years later, you actually made it!”

“Thank you, Mr. Woods.” Jiwoong smiled back.

The owner gave a cheerful nod, then disappeared into the back room.

When he returned, he set a small black box on the counter and slid it toward Jiwoong.

The moment the lid opened, Jiwoong’s smile was even wider.

It was the watch, the one Ricky had bought him, the couple’s watch. Jiwoong’s fingers trembled as he lifted it carefully.

Mr. Woods leaned on the counter, smiling. “You know, I offered to buy it outright more than once, but you never gave in.”

Jiwoong fastened the watch around his wrist,“I love this watch so much, so I can’t sell it!”

For the first time in years, he walked out of the shop with it back on his wrist, feeling the weight of every payment he had made and every moment he had feared he might lose it forever.

Jiwoong was busy, every hour of his day mattered. He preferred it that way, work kept his mind from wandering too far. At last, his life had found some measure of stability.

He had no more debt, and the watch he once pawned to buy a used car was back on his wrist again, hugging him prettily. Jiwoong kept thinking about Ricky and hoped he was doing well. For him, the memories with Ricky remained the best chapter of his life, even if the ending had been bitter.

There had been a time when Jiwoong feared his stepfather’s return after prison. He had even prepared to flee back to Korea, he would rather die than face that man again. But at twenty three, a call from the police came, they told Jiwoong that his stepfather had died in prison.

There was still no news from his mother. Jiwoong missed her desperately, but there was nothing he could do, so he just kept living his life.

Back in his routine, things felt lighter without the pressure of debt. Jiwoong wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t sad anymore either. He simply controlled his feelings, never letting himself get too happy because happiness, he knew, didn’t last long.

So he worked diligently. Tutoring gave him enough, and though he could have extended his sessions for extra money, he didn’t. He felt he owed much to the cafe owner who had taken him in after he dropped from college, and the tips he earned there were more than enough.

To Jiwoong, happiness felt like something sacred that everyone longed for. He remembered his first visit to Pacific Park, seeing the huge Ferris wheel from afar, hearing laughter, seeing brighter smiles, families walking together, couples holding hands, children jumping with joy. That scenery struck him differently than anything else, so he began working part time at the park.

He no longer worked just for money. He had begun to think differently, and somehow, that change was guiding him toward a better life.

Jiwoong had always felt that he never truly enjoyed life in this city. He had been so busy that he rarely noticed the beauty in the scenery, places that many people would pay just to visit. On his twenty-fifth birthday, he decided to spend the day at the beach, wandering from morning until evening. He realized it was more fun to be out there than to stay home resting on a weekend morning.

By chance, he met a Korean woman who owned a surfboard rental and assisted Korean tourists with water sports. Jiwoong spent weeks learning from her before taking the part-time job. Through it, he finally began to experience the real vibe of L.A.

ꫂ❁

A little girl saw her friend get a beautiful painting of herself from the booth. Word spread quickly, and soon the booth became a hot topic. Naturally, she wanted to try it too.

When it was her turn, she placed ten dollars in Ricky’s hand before sitting down on the sand. Ricky found her adorable and began filling the canvas.

“Kim Youna!!!” Jiwoong yelled as he approached the booth. Youna’s expression shifted into something somewhere between surprise and silliness.

“Your mother told you to wait so we could go together!” Jiwoong added, panicked, realizing that his voice made everyone here staring at him, including the painter.

Ricky froze at the words.

‘Kim… your mother…’ He also noticed Jiwoong’s worried eyes and held the little girl’s tiny hand tightly.

Jiwoong’s eyes widened as he saw Ricky sitting there, the same stunned expression mirrored on his face.

Ricky stopped his strokes and smiled. “Do you want me to draw you as well?” Ricky asked, trying to sound casual, even though he was completely freaked out inside. He didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“Uh, no, I’ll just wait. Youna, I’m waiting over there, okay?” Jiwoong stepped back, pointing to a spot near the shoreline. Youna nodded obediently, and Jiwoong walked away.

Ricky’s head was suddenly a mess. He had never once considered the possibility that Jiwoong might have married, might even have a child. The girl looked about five, there was no way she could be his if only three years had passed… right? But what if Jiwoong had married a widow with a child? Or… his chest tightened, what if she was his girlfriend’s daughter, born before they wed?

The thoughts grew wilder, tumbling one after another, until Ricky felt he couldn’t breathe. He hated the way his imagination ran, hated how quickly assumptions were forming. He needed to know the truth.

His voice shook slightly as he forced the question out. “Is he your father?” he asked softly, resuming his strokes on the canvas.

“Uncle Jiwoong? No, he’s my mother’s friend!” Youna answered, her innocent tone cutting through Ricky’s wild thoughts.

The tension drained from him all at once. He let out a quiet breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, and before he knew it, a wide smile spread across his face as he continued painting.

“Uncle, do you know the painter?” Youna asked, carefully carrying the finished canvas before Jiwoong took it in his hands.

“Yes,” Jiwoong said, smiling as he admired the painting in his hands.

“He said he wanted to see you near the booth at sunset!” Youna said before running off to her mother and her father at the store.

Jiwoong walked toward the spot where the booth had been, now gone. He looked around, and even though there were so many people, his eyes were drawn to a tall figure standing still, facing the horizon painted in orange and purplish hues.

He knew that posture, the same elegant way of standing that was impossible to forget. And when Ricky turned, smiling at him, Jiwoong felt the memory come rushing back.

“It’s been a while,” Ricky said.

His voice was deeper now. From this close distance, they both noticed the small changes in each other.

For Ricky, Jiwoong was even more beautiful than before. He had always looked at him from afar, but now, seeing him this close with the sunset behind him, it felt unreal, like a dream made real. The sunset itself seemed dull compared to Jiwoong’s face, his cheeks a little fuller, his eyes even brighter.

Jiwoong noticed Ricky too. He looked different from the student ID picture he saw, he is taller than him now, with a lettering tattoo on his neck and earrings catching the dim light. But it was still him, the same handsome student he had met three years ago.

In this silence, both of them felt the yearn after the years at ease.

“I’m sorry,” Ricky said at last. He lowered his gaze, afraid to see Jiwoong’s expression. “I’m sorry for what I did to you that night.”

Jiwoong’s chest tightened. No one had ever apologized to him before, not for the terrible things he had gone through. Ricky’s trembling, sincere voice hit him differently.

“Yeah…” Jiwoong nodded. He had forgiven Ricky a long time ago because Ricky was nothing like those who had truly hurt him. Still, hearing the apology now felt overwhelming.

“I’m sorry too, for saying terrible things to you,” Jiwoong said. Ricky nodded, and finally their eyes met.

“I miss you,” Ricky whispered. He stepped forward, almost reaching to hug Jiwoong, then stopped midway. But Jiwoong pulled him closer instead.

“I miss you too, Ricky. I miss you so much,” Jiwoong said.

And then the tears came, freely falling. They didn’t want to show their tears to each other, so they only tightened their embrace, refusing to let go.

They stood there for a long time, staring at the sunset and stealing at each other’s gaze, until Jiwoong tugged gently at Ricky’s sleeve their eyes met again.

“Come with me,” Jiwoong said softly.

They walked hand in hand toward the Pier, the wooden boards creaking softly beneath their steps. The air carried a mix of salt, cotton candy, and fried food, the scents familiar to Jiwoong but new to Ricky.

It was his first time here, and while the lights and sounds already fascinated him, the place felt even more beautiful simply because Jiwoong was by his side.

Jiwoong led Ricky straight toward the amusement park. He didn’t have his part-time shift today as the host of the carnival games, so after getting Ricky’s agreement, Jiwoong went to the booth and greeted his friend who was hosting it. He told him he wanted to play and handed over the money.

“I’m a good shooter, you know,” Ricky said confidently as he threw the dart with his hand, and it completely missed.

Jiwoong then showed him how to hit the balloon and won them a plushie. Ricky wanted to try again, and after several attempts, he finally got one too, a bigger one.

He was so happy that he tried more games, and since Ricky was a fast learner, after just a few more tries their hands were full of stuffed animals.

Jiwoong insisted they leave them behind before going on the rides.

“Which one do you prefer? Roller coaster or Ferris wheel?” Jiwoong asked before they entered the ride area.

“I don’t like spending much energy at night on a roller coaster, so let’s ride the Ferris wheel instead,” Ricky said as they walked in. After buying tickets, they headed toward the Ferris wheel ride area.

They entered the cabin, and gradually it began to rise. Since it was already night, the blue sea and sky were nowhere to be seen.

From Ricky's perspective, the ocean outside was a canvas of pitch black, but Jiwoong's face was illuminated by the shifting and colorful lights. He looked so dreamy that Ricky couldn't look away.

Jiwoong, flustered under his gaze, teasingly covered his face with his hands, which only made Ricky smile.

“Oh… I’m still wearing the watch, too.” Ricky said, rolling up his sleeve. The watch shimmered under the lights.

Jiwoong knew that unlike him, who would wear that thirty-thousand-dollar watch for the rest of his life, Ricky had no reason to. With his wealth, he could easily buy another.

Still, Jiwoong’s ears turned red as he remembered how, for nearly three years, his own watch had been stored away in a pawn shop. Only a few days ago had he put it back on his wrist.

Jiwoong smiled, looking at his watch and then at Ricky’s. Ricky followed his gaze, and they both laughed.

“Let’s take a picture together!” Ricky said, reaching for his phone.

“Uh, what about tomorrow? The scenery will be prettier in daylight, with the blue ocean and blue sky. It’ll look better,” Jiwoong said.

“Tomorrow? Can we go together again?” Ricky’s face lit up.

“Yes. And let’s go to the fun places in LA, like the ones you once introduced me to in Orange County. Though I think you’ve probably already been, since they’re really popular tourist spots,” Jiwoong replied.

“I think the last time I went to LA was when I was a junior in high school. It must look different now. I’m so excited to go with you!” Ricky said with a smile.

As the cabin made another slow round, silence fell between them. When they reached the peak again, Ricky suddenly spoke.

“Did you know, if you make a wish at the top of a Ferris wheel, it comes true?”

Jiwoong furrowed his brow. “Wasn’t that supposed to be wishing on a shooting star?”

“The stars are falling every moment out there,” Ricky said softly. “We can make a wish anytime. And from up here, closer to the sky where the stars are falling freely, it would be better, right?”

Jiwoong chuckled. “By that logic, praying on an airplane would be the best, right?”

Ricky pouted. “From this height… it’s enough.

His sincerity made Jiwoong smile.

“Then, on the next round, when we’re at the peak, let’s both make a wish,” Jiwoong teased.

Ricky’s eyes brightened, and he nodded.

When their cabin reached the top once more, both of them closed their eyes. Each made a wish silently in their hearts and only God knew their wishes carried each other’s name.

The next day, they really went back to the amusement park and rode the Ferris wheel again. Not only that, they also rode the roller coaster and every classic and thrilling ride. They tried various foods, many of which Ricky was tasting for the first time.

They spent the day together on the beach and also visited the heart of L.A., which felt so different from Orange, especially Irvine. L.A. seemed more chaotic, louder, and busier. The traffic was far worse, the crowded streets were always in view, and the towering skyline looked endless. But with Jiwoong beside him, Ricky found peace.

Now, with Jiwoong’s car, they were heading to Jiwoong’s place, a bit far from the coast.

“Hyung…” Ricky said, and Jiwoong, who felt something stir when Ricky used the word that refers to an older male, noticed his slightly awkward but adorable tone. Jiwoong’s tutor instincts immediately kicked in.

“Hyung.” Jiwoong corrected.

“Hyung…” Ricky repeated, with a more natural sound.

“Yes?” Jiwoong replied.

“Thank you for returning my lost wallet,” Ricky said, and Jiwoong almost hit the brakes but tried to stay calm.

“Oh, about that… I swear I didn’t use the card. And when I got the money back, there was nothing on it… I didn’t steal it!” Jiwoong said quickly, not wanting Ricky to misunderstand.

Ricky chuckled, a kind of deja vu in his expression.

“I know, you just returned it,” Ricky replied calmly.

“Uh, well… my friend found it and said he used the card…” Jiwoong tried his best to convince him.

“It’s fine, I needed my IDs anyway,” Ricky said.

“Well, I saw it… your student ID,” Jiwoong said, and Ricky’s face flushed.

“Oh no, the pic isn’t good… uh, it’s embarrassing!”

“No, you looked so handsome there, and I’m happy you could enter that college. Man, it’s crazy, Ricky, you’re so smart and talented!” Jiwoong didn’t realize that Ricky was on the verge of exploding from his compliments.

“Thank you…” Ricky’s cheeks remained pink and made Jiwoong slightly notice it.

ꫂ❁

That summer was the most beautiful for both of them. They spent their days together, driving through every corner of the city, and sometimes even to other towns. Their bond grew stronger, their relationship so healthy that they could feel each other’s energy, light and warm.

Time flew quickly, and now Ricky was preparing for a new semester.

Ricky hummed happily as he packed his paintings and tools into the car. Jiwoong helped him, teasing that usually students grew gloomy when their final year began.

“You seem so happy,” Jiwoong said as he closed the trunk.

“Of course. I get to stay with my boyfriend from now on!” Ricky grinned, stealing a kiss. Jiwoong laughed, then deepened it before pulling away.

Ricky had a condo near his campus, since it was two hours or sometimes more from his house to the school. He would usually return home only on weekends or during vacations. They had decided to live together for this final year. Jiwoong had been hesitant at first, but Ricky’s persistence finally won him over.

When Ricky was about to slip into the driver’s seat, Jiwoong stopped him. “Passenger seat for the baby!” He said with a smile. Ricky chuckled and obeyed, settling in.

Jiwoong started the engine, the car pulling away smoothly, leaving the house, leaving the elite neighborhood behind.

They passed one highway after another, the scenery shifting from crowded roads to open stretches of sky. Every song they sang together, every laugh they shared, made the drive feel shorter than it was.

Actually, from Jiwoong’s house in L.A., Ricky’s campus was only about forty minutes by car. But Jiwoong had decided to move and leave all his part-time jobs behind. He wasn’t sure if it was the best choice, but for now, he believed it was the right one.

The car slowed in front of a building near the campus.

Mr. Jones was waiting with a smile, opening the door to a cozy cafe, he had managed everything.

Ricky had bought the old café and renovated it until it felt completely new and theirs. It wasn’t planned at first, on one of their earlier trips to his condo, Ricky had noticed the For Sale sign hanging in front of the place. Something about it caught his eye, and without hesitating too long, he decided to buy it. Now, after months of effort, the café stood ready.

The air inside was filled with the smell of fresh roasted beans.

Wooden shelves lined the walls, warm lights hanging low above. The menu board offered rich lattes, seasonal pour overs, and small handmade desserts.

Ricky squeezed Jiwoong’s hand.

“Let’s put the paintings in!” He said with boyish excitement.

Together with Mr. Jones, they carefully hung Ricky’s canvases across the walls. When they were finished, Ricky turned and pointed.

“Jiwoong, stay there, by the counter.”

Jiwoong tilted his head and did as told. Standing beneath the golden light, his figure framed by shelves of cups and coffee beans, Ricky’s jaw dropped. To him, Jiwoong was the art itself.

Aside from greeting customers, Jiwoong had been learning how to make coffee, even earning his barista license. Now he could run the café on his own, with confidence and pride.

They decided to move here, making this their home.

For Ricky, it was about ensuring Jiwoong would never feel lonely waiting for him to come back from campus. For Jiwoong, who had never dared to imagine a dream of his own, he realized that maybe this was it, this café, this love, this peaceful daily life beside Ricky was his dream come true.

They are heading to Ricky’s condo, the cafe will open three days later after the new semester started.

This time Ricky was the one driving. The road carried them past golden hills that rolled endlessly under the fading autumn sun. The cool air seeped in through the half open window, carrying the scent of earth and fallen leaves.

As they passed neighborhoods tucked into the hillsides, for the first time, Ricky thought, This city is beautiful.

Then he chuckled softly, because when he turned his head, he saw Jiwoong gazing out the window, his reflection framed by the sunset glow. Maybe the city wasn’t any different than before… It only looked this beautiful because Jiwoong was here.

Every morning, Ricky would walk with Jiwoong when heading to campus. Even on days when Ricky had afternoon classes, he would stay at the cafe, waiting until it was time for his class. In the evening, after his classes ended and he had nothing more to do on campus, Ricky would return to the cafe, wait until it closed, and then walk home with Jiwoong.

Ricky would sketch or work on his assignments in the small room near the counter. Occasionally Ricky glanced through the window to see Jiwoong moving gracefully behind the counter.

Ricky’s paintings decorated the walls, each piece changing the room’s atmosphere, while Jiwoong himself was like a moving artwork, captivating anyone who came in. Customers often lingered longer than they planned, sipping slowly, just to steal a glance at him.

The place became popular. Part of it was the tasty coffee and delicious menu, an artistic spirit inside that attracted art students, and for them it was surreal to see Ricky—a model student that was admired by everyone.

 And when Ricky and Jiwoong stood together, laughing or sharing a glance and kiss, people couldn’t help but think that they looked like lovers straight out of a movie.

As the café grew busier, Jiwoong hired students for part-time shifts. He treated them with kindness and patience, making sure they not only learned to work but also felt valued. He wanted to give the younger ones a good experience, the kind he never had when he was their age.

ꫂ❁

Tonight, Ricky looked gloomy as he entered the house.

“Is something bothering you?” Jiwoong asked softly, holding Ricky’s hands and searching his eyes.

“I have to go to New York for three days,” Ricky muttered with lips pouted.

Jiwoong smiled and pulled him into an embrace. “Is that for your studies?”

Ricky nodded, his arms tightening around Jiwoong as he rested his chin on his shoulder.

“Each semester we have to visit art galleries and museums across the States,” he explained with a sigh.

“Should I go too? I—” Before Jiwoong could finish, Ricky pulled back just enough to look at him, his big eyes pleading like a child.

“For real? You’d come with me?”

Jiwoong flicked his forehead gently, making Ricky whine. “No. You can handle three days by yourself. I’ll wait here, okay?”

He tugged Ricky toward the dining room, poured two glasses of wine, and handed one over. Ricky accepted it, but he was still sulking.

“Hyung… don’t flirt with the students at the café, okay?” Ricky mumbled, pouting again. Jiwoong chuckled and nodded.

“Uhh… can you just close the café and sleep here all day until I come back?” Ricky added, his tone so serious that Jiwoong blinked in surprise. He had barely touched the wine, yet already sounded drunk.

“How could I sleep here for three days straight?” Jiwoong teased, but stopped when Ricky’s sharp gaze fixed on him.

Was Ricky about to cry?

“Hyung, Ricky will cancel the trip. Ricky will stay here for three days with hyung!” Ricky suddenly declared.

Jiwoong’s heart clenched. Whenever Ricky slipped into third person, it was over, he was completely lovesick. Jiwoong cupped his cheek tenderly.

“Then Ricky would make his hyung guilty if Ricky fails class and gets bad grades, hmm?”

Ricky broke into a wide smile, flashing the same cute teeth Jiwoong had fallen for years ago.

“Hyung is right,” he laughed softly.

And then they kissed, their lips tasted sweet just like the wine they sipped.

ꫂ❁

Jiwoong often found himself smiling alone, realizing he had such a cute and handsome boyfriend.

Sometimes, when Ricky was drunk, he would mumble that he never wanted to be even an inch away from Jiwoong, saying Jiwoong was so beautiful he could die without him.

Jiwoong often wondered how someone as beautiful as Ricky could be so deeply in love with him. Ricky could have spent hours gazing into a mirror, admiring his own reflection, because he was beautiful too, as breathtaking as the most exquisite painting Jiwoong had ever seen.

Of course, his ears would turn red instantly, but thankfully Ricky was always too drunk to notice.

Ricky never drank much in pubs, but at home, usually on weekends, he would drink with Jiwoong and get tipsy easily. Luckily, Jiwoong’s alcohol tolerance was high, so he could watch his lovely boyfriend acting cute like this.

Despite Ricky’s fierce appearance, he acted childish only in front of his boyfriend. Jiwoong enjoyed it a lot, even though Ricky would sometimes kiss, suck, or lick his skin after saying that he wanted to taste Jiwoong.

Since moving in together, they were rarely apart. Ricky used to hug him tightly in his sleep, and they would kiss each other every morning. But now, with Jiwoong alone, he missed it… until he checked his phone and found Ricky had sent him a sweet morning call. How did Ricky even have the time to do that?

At Ricky’s request, Jiwoong tried taking a few awkward selfies right after waking up, so Ricky could see his sleepy “bedroom face.” Just then, his phone buzzed, it was Ricky, calling from a cab.

“Oh, you just woke up?” Ricky asked.

“It’s dawn here,” Jiwoong said, pulling open the curtains and switching his camera to show the soft glow of the morning sky outside his window.

“Oops,” Ricky giggled and just noticed the time difference.

He flipped his own camera to reveal the bustling city outside.

“Switch it back to your face. I want to see my pretty Ricky,” Jiwoong said. Ricky smiled even brighter and after a few more playful words, they ended the call.

Three days had passed longer than they thought.

When Ricky pushed open the door, he nearly forgot how to breathe.

Jiwoong was waiting on the bed and he wore a sheer black shirt, the pale skin beneath was barely covered that made Ricky’s knees weak.

A soft smirk appeared on Jiwoong’s lips, “It’s a little surprise,” Jiwoong said smoothly, tilting his head. “Only for my lovely boyfriend.”

Ricky’s throat went dry. He dropped his bag without looking, his body moving toward Jiwoong as if pulled by gravity. “And the big one?” he asked with anticipation.

Jiwoong’s smile deepened. He took Ricky’s hand, lifted it to his lips, and pressed a kiss into his palm.

Then, deliberately he guided Ricky’s hand against his chest, right over his heart. “You can open it yourself,” Jiwoong whispered.

Ricky’s fingers brushed over the shirt’s sheer fabric, and he opened the buttons, exposing more of his delicate collarbones and smooth skin.

Jiwoong looked away shyly.

Hyung… are you sure? Since when do you… since when do you have this side?”

Jiwoong didn’t answer right away. Instead, he slowly spread his legs like he was recalling certain memories.

“This… was how I used to do it,” Jiwoong said, his voice dropping into a sultry tone that didn’t match the tremor in his eyes.

Ricky froze.

The way Jiwoong tilted his head, the languid slide of his shirt slipping off his shoulder, it was devastatingly beautiful, but unbearably hollow.

“By doing this, they would give me what I needed.” Jiwoong pulled his shirt down until it clung only to his shoulders. His fingers traced across his chest. “And then they would watch me. They would fuck me. And I… I had no shame in doing it for money.”

His hand pinched at his nipple, the other pressed against the bulge beneath his pants. But his voice cracked. His smile faded, and a single tear slid down his cheek.

“Stop—!” Ricky’s voice broke in panic. He seized Jiwoong’s wrists, pulling them away from his body. “Hyung, don’t. Please don’t do this to yourself.”

Jiwoong was startled. “But I… I wanted you to see. This ugly part of me. Ricky, I’m just a rag!”

“Don’t you dare say that!” Ricky’s tone trembled. He pressed Jiwoong’s shaking hands against his own chest. “There’s nothing ugly about you.”

Tears welled in Jiwoong’s eyes. He shook his head, “But Ricky… you always call me beautiful. And what am I, really? A man who sold his body, who used cheap tricks to survive. You deserve someone untouched, someone who kept his dignity, not a whore like me!” His voice broke into a scream.

“Hyung… did something happen today?” Ricky asked gently.

It took a long silence before Jiwoong finally nodded.

He told Ricky about David from his high school. They had ‘dated’ for a day, and in that day David had given him money and forced him to sleep with him. Roughly, cruelly, until Jiwoong’s body hurts.

And today, David had walked into his café with friends. He leaned across the counter, smirking, asking if Jiwoong still offered one night stands. He mocked him and offered his card. David said he wanted Jiwoong again, because Jiwoong looked even more breathtaking now.

Jiwoong told him to leave, but David’s last words still cut through to him, “I know you’ve got a boyfriend now, but your boyfriend doesn’t deserve a whore like you.”

Jiwoong had tried to brush it off, but maybe David was right, he was too dirty and he didn’t deserve Ricky.

Even though Jiwoong had never had sex with Ricky, it wasn’t because he didn’t want him. He did—God, he wanted Ricky more than anything.

But every time their bodies pressed close, the memories of roughness, pain, and humiliation would flash like knives in his head. He couldn’t bear to tell Ricky, afraid Ricky would see him in disgust.

So when Ricky went away, Jiwoong thought of it again, the only way he knew how to make someone love him. By using his body and seduction.

And he hated himself for it.

When Jiwoong was ready to meet a cold gaze from Ricky, Ricky did the opposite.

He kissed away Jiwoong’s tears. “Hyung, you’re so beautiful. Every part of you. Everything about you, including your past… I love you.” Ricky lifted Jiwoong into his arms, holding him close.

Ricky understood that for years Jiwoong had associated intimacy with pain and humiliation. He didn’t want Jiwoong to feel that way ever again, so even though he longed to touch him desperately, Ricky held himself back.

Instead, he pulled Jiwoong closer, wrapping him in his warm arms, whispering over and over how much he loved him from everything they had shared together.

For the first time, Jiwoong allowed himself to believe that with Ricky, he could rewrite what intimacy meant, what it was supposed to be.

“I’m sorry,” Jiwoong whispered. “I let everyone touch me easily, but with you… I was afraid. I refused you when you’re the kindest person I’ve ever met.”

“It’s okay, hyung,” Ricky said softly, a smile tugging at his lips even though Jiwoong couldn’t see it. “Now, let’s just sleep. I missed you like crazy. I missed waking up and seeing you as the first thing in the morning.”

Gently, Ricky laid Jiwoong down on the bed, brushing a hand over his hair and promising he would still be there when the morning came forever.

ꫂ❁

It took Jiwoong some time to accept Ricky’s kisses. At first, they were just hesitant pecks, but little by little, they became deeper, longer, until even French kisses felt natural. The same went for everything else, they took it slowly, step by step.

Sometimes, when they kissed, Ricky would slip his hand under Jiwoong’s shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin.

Other times, when the café had closed for the night, Jiwoong would sit on the counter, smelling faintly of coffee, and let Ricky stand between his knees.

Jiwoong would gradually spread his legs, wrapping them around Ricky’s waist, pulling him closer as if he couldn’t bear to let him go.

And now for the first time, Jiwoong moaned when Ricky pressed his front against him. The friction was still through their clothes, yet Jiwoong’s reaction was less guarded.

“Uhh… Ricky…” Jiwoong’s arms wound around Ricky’s neck, clutching him tightly, desperate and trembling.

Carefully, Ricky untied Jiwoong’s café apron, letting it fall aside. He unbuttoned Jiwoong’s light brown shirt, one button at a time, his fingers brushing Jiwoong’s skin lightly.

The café lights were already dimmed, but their sharp features were illuminated and made them look even more defined.

Ricky lifted Jiwoong’s chin and kissed all over his face, his temples, his cheekbones, the corner of his lip. Then his hand hovered over Jiwoong’s exposed chest, just above his nipple.

“Is this okay?” Ricky asked softly.

Jiwoong gave a small nod.

Ricky’s palm finally brushed over Jiwoong’s nipple, and Jiwoong let out a soft gasp, his back arching slightly against Ricky’s hand.

The sound made Ricky’s pulse race, but he still held back, kissing Jiwoong deeply.

Jiwoong’s legs tightened around Ricky’s waist, pulling him closer, grinding lightly against him. The café counter creaked beneath them, but neither cared.

Jiwoong’s lips were warm as he whispered “Ricky…”

Ricky froze for a moment, searching Jiwoong’s gaze for doubt. But Jiwoong only pulled him closer, kissing him hungrily now, his shirt sliding further down his shoulders.

The air inside the café grew unbearably hot. Ricky groaned against Jiwoong’s lips, finally pulling away, panting. “We need to go. Now.”

Jiwoong could only nod again.

They scrambled off the counter, Ricky fumbling with Jiwoong’s half-open shirt as he tugged him toward the door.

The night air outside hit their flushed skin, but it didn’t cool them at all.

In the car, Ricky’s hand never left Jiwoong’s thigh, gripping it firmly.

Jiwoong leaned back against the seat, his shirt still loose, his lips swollen from their kisses. The tension between them was erotic, so thick Ricky nearly missed a turn.

Somehow, through heavy breaths and burning touches, they made it to the condo safely. The moment Ricky killed the engine, Jiwoong leaned in and kissed him again, desperate and unrestrained. They stumbled out of the car, tangled in each other’s arms, barely making it inside before the heat consumed them all over again.

The condo door barely shut before Ricky pressed Jiwoong against it. Jiwoong’s arms looped around his neck, his shirt slipping completely off one shoulder now, exposing his pale skin that glowed faintly under the dim light.

Ricky groaned into the kiss, but even as his hands roamed Jiwoong’s sides, his touch remained careful and soft. His fingers trembled as they brushed against Jiwoong’s bare chest, feeling his heartbeat hammering beneath the skin.

Jiwoong gasped softly, his head falling back against the door. Ricky’s lips trailed down to his throat, pressing kisses along the delicate line of his neck.

Jiwoong shivered, his body arching toward Ricky’s touch that made Ricky hesitate.

“Don’t stop,” Jiwoong said.

But Ricky did stop and look into his eyes,  “I don’t want to rush you, if you already feel overwhelmed, let’s just stop here…”

The words made Jiwoong’s throat tighten. He wasn’t used to this, this restraint, this patience that made him feel wanted for more than just his body.

Ricky kissed Jiwoong again.

They stumbled away from the door, heading deeper into the condo.

Ricky guided Jiwoong toward the couch, sitting him down gently. He buttoned Jiwoong’s shirt back up and tucked a warm blanket around him.

“It’s enough for now, you’re trembling so badly,” Ricky said as he pulled another blanket over himself. Now they sat side by side, the fabric wrapping them together, leaving only their heads peeking out.

Silence settled between them.

Ricky acted calm, even though he had nearly lost control. He tried to distract himself, to steady his breathing, but in his mind, there was nothing except Jiwoong’s irresistible beauty and the lewd expression still haunting him.

“Ricky… besides my looks, what makes you love me? Beauty doesn’t last long. So… will you still love me when I’m no longer beautiful?” Jiwoong asked, breaking the quiet.

“I’ve loved you from the very first time we met, when you moved so beautifully playing basketball, when you smiled at me and spoke so kindly. When you found happiness in the little, trivial things we did together. When we spent time in my hometown, even when we were apart. When we reunited on the beach, when we traveled around this state, and when we finally moved in together here…”

Ricky drew a deep breath. “I don’t know if there’s just one reason I love you, it’s countless. But I know one thing for sure, hyung. You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes.”

But then, Jiwoong slipped the blanket off his shoulders, then reached over to pull Ricky’s away as well.

He moved closer, kneeling between Ricky’s legs, his eyes never leaving Ricky’s face. Before Ricky could react, Jiwoong leaned down and pressed a kiss against the bulge at Ricky’s pants.

Ricky’s eyes widened as Jiwoong slowly unzipped him.

“Hyung, you don’t have to force yourse—” Ricky began, but the words faltered when Jiwoong looked up at him with a sensual gaze.

“Even when I do something dirty like this?” Jiwoong whispered.

Dirty? Ricky’s chest tightened.

Did Jiwoong really not see how devastatingly beautiful he looked right now? His flushed face framed by dark hair, his expression torn between desire and fragility, all while Ricky’s bulged cock covered by underwear stood inches away from him.

It wasn’t dirty, it was fascinating. It was vulnerable. It was Jiwoong, baring himself in another way.

Ricky’s heart softened. Instead of trembling, Jiwoong looked steady now. Ricky smiled gently and reached down, stroking Jiwoong’s hair with tender fingers.

“Yes,” Ricky replied. “Even now. Especially now.”

Jiwoong’s mouth got closer to the center and as he kissed it, the bulged cloth became more noticeable, Ricky’s underwear seemed to tear from the force inside.

“Uhh…” Ricky couldn’t bear the hardness and when he was about to pull down his underwear, Jiwoong stopped his hands and Jiwoong did it himself, the hard and half-erect penis popped and touched his face.

Jiwoong looked up once again just to see how Ricky titled his head back, suppressed his moan. Jiwoong smirked as he touched the pillar up and down, Ricky’s grip on his shoulder became weaker like he anticipated the next step.

And as Jiwoong opened his mouth to put Ricky’s penis, the semen spurted out all over Jiwoong’s face. Ricky who just came only after a small move covered his face with his hands.

Jiwoong, startled by his own actions, calculated everything. A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Ricky…”

“Do I look beautiful?” Jiwoong asked while wiping Ricky’s semen from his face. He did it sultrily, with an expression that drove Ricky crazy.

The way Jiwoong squeezed his penis with a ticklish touch made Ricky flinch, seeing Jiwoong playing with it looked like a dream. Jiwoong didn’t stop there, his red tongue stuck out and licked it like he was eating ice cream.

“If you keep doing that… uhh,” Ricky blurted as he thrust his penis past Jiwoong’s closed lips, rubbing it against his soft cheek.

Jiwoong didn’t let Ricky work hard alone, he opened his mouth wide and accepted it. Ricky’s penis was bigger than it looked, so Jiwoong stretched his mouth even wider to take everything.

Ricky looked down at Jiwoong, who was closing his eyes with his cheeks full of his penis like he was eating meat—well, yeah, the big, long, pretty meat now inside his mouth.

It didn’t last long as Jiwoong coughed, it’s still hard and covered in white fluid, shining with his saliva. He brought it back to his mouth and his tongue scraping the semen.

Ricky’s penis was long, so it reached Jiwoong’s throat and was squeezed by it, making Ricky arch his back.

Jiwoong sucked it hard right before Ricky came again, and as the semen flowed directly into his throat, Jiwoong helped Ricky release even more.

He sucked until it made a slurping sound, the gulping in his throat clearly heard.

Ricky moaned, not knowing when it would end.

When Jiwoong felt it finally stop, he gradually pulled Ricky’s penis out, and the remaining semen in his mouth flowed out.

Ricky, watching it, couldn’t help but lift Jiwoong’s chin and kiss his lips.

Ricky’s tongue scooped his semen back into Jiwoong’s mouth before he kissed him deeply.

And for the first time, Ricky tasted his own semen. It was strange, but Jiwoong accepted it willingly, letting Ricky pour it into him until it felt like it might reach his stomach. Ricky’s ears burned red as he imagined it. It was dirty, not tasty at all, yet Jiwoong accepted it like it was delicious.

But Ricky had no time to ask because suddenly, he noticed something hard pressing against his stomach. It was Jiwoong’s hard cock.

“Hyung…” Ricky froze, then pulled Jiwoong’s head up so their eyes could meet. His gaze dropped lower, and Jiwoong followed it, realizing what Ricky had felt.

“Hyung, do you… do you want to put it in me?” Ricky asked softly.

“Huh?” Jiwoong’s eyes widened, confused.

Ricky’s face flushed but he didn’t look away. “The one who accepts… always ends up hurt the most. I don’t want to see you hurt, hyung. So… you can put it in me. It’s the same, right? We can still be one.” Ricky laid himself down, slowly spreading his legs.

Jiwoong’s heart ached.

Why… why was this person so selfless? Why would he even think this way?

Jiwoong had no fixed position, he had been used both ways in the past, back and front. But seeing Ricky like this, innocent yet burning red, offering himself with so much trust, Jiwoong’s body trembled.

No—he couldn’t. He couldn’t bear to hurt Ricky. Ricky had already given him everything. The thought of Ricky wincing in pain beneath him was unbearable.

So Jiwoong knew, in that moment, what he wanted. He wanted Ricky to take him. He wanted to give Ricky pride and pleasure.

But Jiwoong didn’t know if Ricky fucked his asshole, where so many had entered and left, would still be worth it for Ricky?

Jiwoong unzipped his own pants and in an instant, their positions changed.

He lay back beneath Ricky, one arm gripping his shoulder while the other slid down, as he sucked and pushed them into his own ass.

Ricky thought the sight was mesmerizing, Jiwoong’s body opening up, his hips tilting so naturally, his fingers moving in and out with wet sounds.

Yet when Ricky’s eyes dragged upward, Jiwoong’s flushed face nearly undid him with lashes trembling, lips parted, moaning softly.

Ricky couldn’t decide which was more beautiful, the sinful picture of Jiwoong’s hand working below, or the fragile, breathtaking face above. Both burned into him, leaving Ricky trembling, lost between lust and awe.

Ricky’s body locked for minutes as his mind was overwhelmed by Jiwoong’s beauty. But then he noticed how Jiwoong’s head was pressed awkwardly against the couch’s armrest, the angle clearly uncomfortable.

Carefully, Ricky bent down and wrapped his arms around Jiwoong, pulling him close.

“Hyung…” he whispered against Jiwoong’s hair.

Slowly, he guided him up.  Ricky’s hands lingered on Jiwoong’s waist. Step by step, he led him toward the bedroom.

By the time Jiwoong sank onto the bed, Ricky’s heart was beating so wildly.

Jiwoong spread his legs wider, and from this angle Ricky could see everything, how Jiwoong’s fingers slipped in and out, poking himself open, revealing that tightly closed, flushed hole. The sight made Ricky drool.

But before Jiwoong could continue, Ricky stopped his hand and climbed over him. He didn’t press down, just positioned himself so Jiwoong lay between his legs, framed beneath him. Ricky leaned down and kissed Jiwoong’s face, trailing lower to his neck, then his collarbone.

He stroked Jiwoong’s hair, tucking stray strands behind his ear, and cupped his cheek with tender hands. Their eyes met before Ricky kissed his lips.

The bare cocks brushed together, hard and hot, pressing against each other until Jiwoong moaned softly into Ricky’s mouth.

“Let me do it for you, hyung.” Ricky said as his hand rummaged through the nightstand, finding a sealed bottle of love gel. He uncapped it with shaky fingers and poured a generous amount into his palm.

With one hand still gently holding Jiwoong’s, Ricky slowly slid his slick fingers inside. Jiwoong let out a languid moan, his back arching, his half-erect penis twitching helplessly.

The moment Ricky’s long, slender fingers pressed deeper, Jiwoong’s body gave in, semen spurted across his shirt, staining it with heat and whitish liquid.

Jiwoong looked so messy, yet his inner walls swallowed Ricky’s fingers greedily, clenching around them as though they didn’t want to let go.

Ricky pushed in deeper, trembling as Jiwoong’s body tightened around him, the heat and tightness drove him insane that made Ricky can’t wait to insert his penis.

Ricky burying his face against Jiwoong’s damp neck as he pulled out his fingers. Jiwoong whined because of the friction, his hands gripping Ricky’s back tightly.

“Ricky-uhh-please…”

Jiwoong’s words were vague, but the way he moved his hips instinctively, begging for a cock fuck him was unmistakable.

It wasn’t easy, the tightness closed up quickly every time Ricky’s fingers slipped out.

He kept working to loosen Jiwoong until he could take four fingers. Ricky spread them, searching for the way to fit his dick inside. But when the entrance closed immediately again, he hesitated. Ricky didn’t want to hurt him.

“It’s okay—just do it,” Jiwoong let out in an impatient breath.

Ricky glanced at Jiwoong’s face, he was already hard again. Ricky stroked himself once, then pressed against him.

With one firm thrust, he managed to sink halfway inside. Jiwoong arched his back, a moan tearing from his lips as, for the first time in so long, something filled him again something he truly craved, not forced for money, but given out of pure love.

Ricky’s pace was gentle, careful, yet the way his penis rubbed along Jiwoong’s inner walls felt startlingly new. A rush of overwhelming signals shot through him, so strong that Jiwoong’s vision flashed white.

Ricky froze halfway in, afraid to move, afraid to hurt Jiwoong  “Hyung…”

Jiwoong cupped Ricky’s face, pulling him closer until their lips met.

Slowly, he eased deeper, every inch sinking past Jiwoong’s, Jiwoong gasped, arching, his fingers gripping Ricky’s shoulders.

For the first time, he felt pleasure more than pain. He didn’t hold back. Where he once used to be scared when someone touched him, now, with Ricky, he anticipated it. He was so happy that tears of joy welled up and rolled down his face.

Ricky kissed the corner of Jiwoong’s wet eyes. “Beautiful… you’re still so beautiful like this,” Ricky whispered, making sure Jiwoong knew he was loved and wanted.

As Ricky began to move, he did it slowly, letting Jiwoong feel every stroke.

“Ricky—ahh… there—” Jiwoong’s blunt nails scratched down Ricky’s back as Ricky kept pushing into him, pressing against his prostate with his thick penis.

Jiwoong’s legs crossed, pressing Ricky's buttocks to come close so each thrust felt so good and deep. 

Ricky stopped his pace and looked at Jiwoong with a confused, guilty expression as he cummed inside him.

Jiwoong, who realized Ricky had come inside his stomach, reached for Ricky’s face and pressed it against his left nipple.

“Suck it,” Jiwoong said.

Ricky hesitated, but seeing the look on Jiwoong’s face, he couldn’t resist and happily obeyed.

When Jiwoong’s nipple slipped into Ricky’s small mouth, Ricky couldn’t stop sucking. The sensation made Jiwoong moan, especially as Ricky pounded into him below while greedily sucking his chest like that.

Ricky’s thrusts gradually grew faster, and within minutes Jiwoong thought it might have been too much, but it was real, Ricky came again, and Jiwoong clenched around him so hard that Ricky moaned too.

Jiwoong’s untouched penis was already wet and before he even realized it, they came together.

Ricky moving harder, faster, their skin slapping wetly together. Jiwoong’s moans turned desperate, his lips parted with strings of saliva as Ricky kissed him breathless between thrusts. His cock, trapped between their stomachs, leaked precum messily across their abs again.

“Hyung—you’re clenching so much—I can’t—” Ricky gasped.

Jiwoong arched up, his release sudden and hot, painting their bellies and Ricky’s chest. His walls squeezed down around Ricky, pulling him deeper.

Ricky thrusted one last time before he spilled inside Jiwoong, and it was easily leaked, slicking their thighs and sheets.

Ricky kept filling Jiwoong again and again until he had nothing left. Jiwoong trembled beneath him from the overwhelming releases.

After Ricky stayed inside for a while, he finally pulled out, and semen spurted weakly from Jiwoong’s untouched glands. Ricky watched it with a smirk.

“Can I suck below there too, hyung?”

“Uhh?” Jiwoong asked, but then nodded immediately.

With a mischievous look, Ricky bent down, kissed Jiwoong’s tip, and licked at the smeared cum there. The ticklish touch made Jiwoong’s body flinch.

Jiwoong, who couldn’t see anything except the top of Ricky’s head, felt a bit disappointed. He missed the sight of Ricky eating him to his heart’s content. His soft thing gradually hardened again as Ricky took it into his small lips. From the way his tongue moved, Jiwoong could tell it was Ricky’s first time putting another man’s cock into his mouth.

Oh, Jiwoong wanted to see Ricky’s face right now.

So Jiwoong sat up, cupped Ricky’s face, and lifted it to look at him. Ricky looked like a kitten drinking greedily, looked so good that Jiwoong grew hard again and thrust into Ricky’s throat. Ricky coughed, releasing him with a wet sound, his teeth scraping just enough to make Jiwoong groan. But then Jiwoong only smiled and hugged him.

“It will hurt your throat. You look exhausted. Let’s rest a bit,” Jiwoong said, patting Ricky’s back. But there was no response.

All Jiwoong could hear was Ricky’s even breathing. When he pulled Ricky to see his face, his eyes were shut tight with drool and cum spilling from them.

“You’re still a baby,” Jiwoong chuckled softly, laying Ricky gently on the bed.

He tried to get up to fetch a warm towel, but pain flared in his sore bottom, forcing him to collapse back down with a wince.

“Uhh—” he groaned, crawling back to Ricky’s side.

For a while, he simply admired him, Ricky’s beautiful, naked body, the rise and fall of his chest, the flushed innocence still painted across his features.

His gaze dropped lower, to that red, soft penis that only moments ago had fucked him, lying prettily against Ricky’s thigh. Jiwoong blushed and quickly pulled the blanket over him to keep him warm.

After a few minutes, when he could finally manage the ache in his hips, Jiwoong made his way to the bathroom.

Normally, after giving his body to someone, Jiwoong cursed himself. Regret, shame, nausea, the sense of being dirtied always followed him. But this time was different. This time, he couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop feeling grateful that it was Ricky.

As warm water filled the bath, Jiwoong lowered himself in and pressed his stomach gently. His face flushed deeper when he felt Ricky’s cum slowly spilling out of him, the amount of it making him shiver.

How much had he made Ricky cum tonight?

Just thinking about it, Jiwoong sank his body deeper into the bath. He was so happy, truly happy, that he wanted to remember this moment forever.

ꫂ❁

“Hyung, let’s meet my parents,” Ricky said as he hugged Jiwoong from behind while Jiwoong was making a sandwich.

Jiwoong placed the top slice of bread and turned to Ricky, stuffing it gently into his mouth.

“Suddenly?” Jiwoong asked, guiding Ricky to sit on the dining chair.

Ricky nodded.

“I want to propose to you.” His words sounded like a joke, but his face was serious.

“Shouldn’t it be me who proposes to you?” Jiwoong pinched Ricky’s nose. “Since you’re younger than me.”

Ricky shook his head. “I’m the top, right? So it should be me!”

Jiwoong almost burst out laughing. “You should be proposing to my parents, not yours!”

Ricky froze as he remembered Jiwoong’s story about his parents. His eyes watered, and he was about to cry, but before the tears could spill, Jiwoong brushed them away with his thumb and kissed his lips.

“Let me propose to you, okay? Being top or bottom doesn’t matter,” Jiwoong said softly, and Ricky nodded.

“Next month, at my graduation, they’ll come,” Ricky said.

“Then I’ll propose to you on your campus?”

Ricky nodded again. “And the next day, let’s get married.”

This time Jiwoong couldn’t hold back his laughter and hugged him tightly.

“Why is my baby boyfriend so adorable?”

Hearing that, Ricky’s face turned so red it felt like it would explode, but luckily Jiwoong didn’t see it.

They stayed like that for a while, pressed close together, until Ricky pinned Jiwoong against the dining table.

“Hyung, I think your hole wants breakfast too,” Ricky teased as he pulled down Jiwoong’s pants. The sight of his white, pretty buttocks made Ricky’s breath hitch—the entrance still faintly red from last night. He rubbed it gently before pushing himself inside.

This kind of action had become natural between them. Even after dating for more than a year, their greed for each other never faded. Sometimes, they were just like cats in heat, insatiable every single day.

“Uh–Ricky, we’ll be late—!” Jiwoong gasped, but still pressed back against him, knowing the only way to make Ricky satisfied was to let him cum quickly and come back to his senses so they could continue their day.

By the time they were done, both of them were flushed and laughing at how easily they lost themselves in each other, even in the middle of making breakfast.

They shared bites of the sandwich Jiwoong had made, stealing kisses between mouthfuls, still tasting each other more than the food.

Only then, with their hearts slowed and their stomachs filled, did they finally move on with the day.

They packed their belongings into the car, eager to enjoy their favorite hobby, traveling together.

Dating on long drives, spending hours side by side with the stretched road ahead of them, had become their special routine. They didn’t realize yet how going from city to city would turn into an addiction, one that tied them even closer together.

Ricky’s pure, innocent love brought Jiwoong so much happiness. His affection reminded Jiwoong that kindness does exist in this world.

Ricky vowed that he would love Jiwoong forever and give him so much love, not only for his beauty but also for his flaws.

He promised to help Jiwoong see only beautiful things in the future, the clear blue sky above, not the rough, broken road he had walked in the past.

For every highway they would pass in the future, Ricky promised it would be their journey, to discover new cities together, to make new memories, to stay happy in each other’s company, and to keep walking the high way to love. Because for Ricky, loving someone as precious as Jiwoong was the highest way a heart could ever travel.

ꫂ❁

Highway to Love

END

Blue | https://x.com/my_riwoong

Chapter Text

Jiwoong knew it well that Ricky was a sucker for beautiful things.

And Jiwoong didn’t want to be Ricky’s only beauty, he wanted Ricky to see more of the world’s beauty, the kind of beauty Jiwoong himself had only remembered after meeting him.

But no matter what he said aloud, no matter how much he urged Ricky to look at the world, Jiwoong couldn’t lie to himself that deep down, he wanted to be the most beautiful person in Ricky’s eyes.

Jiwoong sometimes wondered if their perspectives on beauty were different. Because if beauty was about a face, then Ricky was the most beautiful man in the world.

His smile, adorable beyond words. Even when he panted with closed eyes above Jiwoong, he was still breathtakingly beautiful.

There was a time when Ricky struggled with his artworks for an exhibition. He kept ruining canvases, painting, tearing, starting over, again and again.

Even when a piece looked nearly finished, Ricky would cut it apart. Jiwoong, who didn’t really understand art, thought every one of those paintings was already beautiful. But maybe Ricky’s standard of beauty was just so high.

That night, Ricky shyly asked Jiwoong to stay with him until dawn. Jiwoong ended up falling asleep at the desk, and in the morning, Ricky apologized over and over for keeping him there all night.

But when Jiwoong finally looked at the canvas, it was finished. And yes, it was even more beautiful than the ones before.

Ricky admitted, with a blushing cheeks, and saying that seeing Jiwoong gave him the inspiration he needed. Jiwoong’s ears burned red at the confession. Ricky wasn’t lying, with Jiwoong by his side, Ricky truly felt like he could do anything.

But, Jiwoong couldn’t ignore the thought of his own reflection that made him sick, because compared to Ricky’s, clean, shining world, Jiwoong felt too tainted to be loved, too dirty to keep, like a stain that would never wash away.

And so, when Jiwoong met Ricky’s parents, everything about it felt unreal. Their faces were printed on almost every business magazine cover, more like a celebrity couple than ordinary parents.

Their company was one of the most well-known and soaring real-estate businesses in the country, and yet their successor, Ricky, fell in love with Jiwoong, who was no one.

It was natural when anyone dating their son would feel insecure. Jiwoong almost broke his promise to propose on Ricky’s graduation day. But thankfully, he looked so incredibly handsome that day that the reaction from Ricky’s parents went far beyond anything he could have imagined.

Jiwoong handed Ricky a bouquet of red roses, then froze. Ricky’s parents exchanged glances before Ricky broke the silence, saying boldly, “I want to marry him—my boyfriend.”

And with Ricky, one thing had never changed, everything he wanted, he would always get. When Ricky said, “I want,” his parents would grant it.

“Have you set the date?” his father asked.

Ricky nodded. “Yes, three years from now.”

His mother’s gaze softened on Jiwoong. “Why do you love Ricky?” she asked.

Jiwoong answered honestly, “He fell in love with me first, and I fell harder for him.”

She burst into laughter. “Oh my god, it’s so nice to meet you, my future son-in-law.”

And that was how Ricky ended up shedding tears, moved by Jiwoong’s confession. But later that night, back home, Ricky wouldn’t stop teasing him, asking if he really had fallen harder. Jiwoong’s face stayed red all night, which Ricky found unbearably cute.

Jiwoong couldn’t deny it, though. Every tender look from Ricky, every gentle kiss, every time Ricky sank his cock into him with careful love, Jiwoong believed Ricky had accepted him completely. And yet, someone like Jiwoong could never silence his insecurity.

He always wanted to give Ricky more, to make sure Ricky would never get tired of him.

But again, did someone like Jiwoong deserve Ricky?

He had asked himself that since long ago, back when Ricky first brought him around to different places during his high school days.

Back then, Jiwoong thought Ricky was just an exceptionally nice boy with a lot of friends, who loved basketball more than anything. His eyes always shone brightest when they were on the court together.

Jiwoong told himself that was all it was, Ricky was just a teenager, and he himself was already an adult, six years older. He thought Ricky simply respected him like that.

Jiwoong knew then that Ricky’s feelings couldn’t be real. It was just a fleeting thing, a naive crush from a young boy.

Jiwoong brushed it off, even though his heart was heavy with disappointment, because he had believed Ricky was different, that Ricky wouldn’t see him the way others did, wouldn’t be nice to him only to take advantage of his body.

Why should Ricky be any exception?

Never in Jiwoong’s life had he allowed himself to dream of loving someone.

Love, to him, was nothing but an excuse for sex, a trick that only led to misery.

If Jiwoong could choose, he thought he would fall in love with a jerk he deserved, someone meaningless, someone who would treat him roughly, just to remind him what he really was.

And yet, Ricky never left his mind. No matter how hard he tried, Jiwoong would find himself wondering, was Ricky doing well?

Was he still in that neighboring city?

Was he still naive enough to love him?

Jiwoong hated himself for thinking that way. Because he knew that he didn’t even have the courage to face Ricky again. Ricky was too beautiful, too pure for someone like him.

“Hyung, you dozed off again!” Ricky’s voice pulled Jiwoong back from where his mind had wandered too far.

“Ugh…” Jiwoong let out a soft moan as he felt the thickness still buried inside him.

Ricky grinned, flashing his cute teeth. “Mm… still inside you.”

Jiwoong glanced down, his face flushing when he realized Ricky's cock was still sunk deep within him.

“You’re holding me so tight, hyung… if I pull out, it might hurt. Relax a bit, please.” Ricky panted, brushing a hand over Jiwoong’s temple.

Jiwoong reached for Ricky’s face, pulling him closer until their lips met. His chest bent with the motion as he kissed him deeply.

“Just move…” Jiwoong breathed into the kiss, his words breaking against Ricky’s lips.

Ricky obeyed, rolling his hips forward, sinking in deeper before sliding back out slowly. Jiwoong moaned into his mouth.

“Hyung… you’re crying.”

But Jiwoong only smiled through his tears. “It’s not because it hurts. Don’t worry… it feels so good.”

Jiwoong moved his waist to meet Ricky’s thrusts, urging him deeper, until Ricky could no longer hold back.

ꫂ❁

When they first reunited, they had hugged so tightly, yet even after that, Jiwoong struggled even with the slightest touch.

 It took time before he could let Ricky hold his hand.

It wasn’t that Ricky ever forced him, he never did. Jiwoong just couldn’t hide the trembling in his fingers whenever Ricky’s warmth brushed against him. If he had gone to a therapist, they would have told him long ago to start treatment.

But Jiwoong had always fought alone, burying his trauma inside, while Ricky simply waited and understood, letting Jiwoong open up at his own pace.

Ricky often found himself gazing at Jiwoong’s hands whenever they rested in front of him. They were rough, worn, but to Ricky, they were beautiful. Sometimes he would only place his own hand near them, content just to be close.

And then, one rainy night, Jiwoong reached out first. He held Ricky’s hand. Warmth passed between them as they smiled at each other, and Ricky’s heart swelled,  Jiwoong wasn’t afraid anymore. But it was Jiwoong who felt even more overwhelmed.

For weeks after that rainy night, they rarely let go of each other’s hands. Whether they were traveling together or simply resting at Ricky’s house, their fingers stayed together.

One night, lying face to face on Ricky’s bed, Ricky’s free hand slowly drifted upward, wanting to touch Jiwoong’s cheek.

Jiwoong’s eyes opened instantly, his pupils trembling as fear flickered across them. But when he recognized Ricky in the dim light, relief softened his gaze. He tried, hesitantly, to accept the touch.

Ricky paused, reading him, and instead let his hand fall back to Jiwoong’s, weaving their fingers together again. He offered a small smile before closing his eyes. Jiwoong stared at him, warmth blooming in his chest.

In the past, even something as simple as lying beside someone had been nearly impossible. Jiwoong couldn’t close his eyes, always tense with fear of being pushed, used, or worse got fucked in the most painful way when his head constantly bumping against the hard headboard.

His body had been taken until he had nothing left, knees bruised from rough encounters that didn’t even spare the cold floor. Even when it was over, he was left alone, bearing only pains.

But now… now it is different.

Ricky always offered him the softest, warmest bed, not just a place to rest, but a presence that accompanied him fully.

The thick blanket wrapped them together, and Ricky’s careful closeness gave Jiwoong comfort he had never known.

For the first time, he could lie on the bed with someone else without fear, without tensing the memory of pain.

With Ricky, he could finally feel what it meant to be safe, cared for, and loved. Over time, through those gentle gestures, Jiwoong gradually got used to it, letting himself relax fully and for the first time in a long while, drift into a good, peaceful dream.

Ricky kept doing his best to treat Jiwoong gently, to heal the deep wounds and show him the gentle side of intimacy.

When he could hold Jiwoong’s hand or sleep beside him, it was almost impossible for Ricky to resist kissing Jiwoong’s soft, pretty lips–the same lips he had once tasted before.

Strangely, Ricky remembered it vividly, the warmth and the faint burn of that first kiss, even after all these years.

When Jiwoong caught Ricky staring at his lips, his heart ached. He remembered his kiss too–the naive, hungry, yet innocent one.

Now, Ricky was no longer a teenager, he was an adult. Jiwoong wanted to return the kiss, to meet Ricky’s lips with his own, but whenever the moment built, his shoulders would shiver, betraying how much he was forcing himself to accept it. He wasn’t ready yet.

So instead, Ricky simply held him close, hugging him tightly, patting his back with quiet gentleness, letting Jiwoong feel the safety and warmth without pushing him beyond what he could handle.

Not long after, Ricky, exhausted from his assignments, fell asleep early, and Jiwoong loved to watch him sleep. Jiwoong, lost in a book, found his gaze drifting toward Ricky. His lips were slightly pouted, like he had been kissed, and then a soft smile spread across his face in his sleep.

It was the third time Jiwoong had caught him like this.

That morning, when Ricky just woke up, Jiwoong leaned in playfully.

“These days, you seem to be in a good mood every morning,” he teased, noticing his own flushed cheeks.

“Uh… I had a good dream,” Ricky replied, sitting up, and Jiwoong followed instinctively.

Without hesitation, Jiwoong pressed his lips to Ricky’s. He drew in Ricky’s lower lip, sucking it gently.

Ricky, already turned on by the memory of kissing Jiwoong in his dream, wrapped his hands around Jiwoong’s waist, bringing them closer. Jiwoong’s hands slid over Ricky’s shoulders, pulling him in.

When they gasped for air, Jiwoong gently pulled back. Ricky’s lips were glossy, slightly parted, a thin string of saliva connecting them, and his gaze was fixed on Jiwoong’s.

Ricky tilted his head again, and Jiwoong was ready to meet Ricky’s immature, yet intoxicating, kiss once more.

Ricky’s hands tightened around Jiwoong’s waist. Jiwoong could feel the nervous excitement vibrating through him.

Unlike Ricky, Jiwoong had kissed plenty, both women and men. He knew what he was doing, knew how to make someone shiver. But this… this was different. The love rushing through his chest made every touch feel new.

Ricky groaned softly, leaning helplessly into Jiwoong’s rhythm. Jiwoong’s tongue brushed against his, exploring him slowly, tasting every corner of his mouth.

Jiwoong whispered, “I want to make your dream real.”

“It… it already is,”

They lost themselves after that, kissing again and again, unable to stop. These wet, breathless kisses kept going until their lips grew numb, but neither of them cared.

ꫂ❁

There was a secret, the one Jiwoong could never bring himself to tell Ricky.

One day, Jiwoong noticed how Ricky had grown oddly attached to his tablet. His eyes rarely left the screen, headphones almost always plugged in.

When Jiwoong asked, Ricky smiled sheepishly and said he was playing a game. Jiwoong, who had little interest in games, only chuckled and teased, “My boyfriend really is still a baby.”

But when Ricky went to shower, Jiwoong reached for the tablet, expecting to see 3D graphics of games. Instead, countless tabs were open, articles from reputable sites, even medical publishers, all about intimacy between men. Jiwoong’s cheeks warmed as he read the search history. Each query ended with the same words ‘without hurting the partner’

Jiwoong felt so touched and gently placed the tablet back where it had been.

In the night, he casually suggested a movie.

Ricky, excited by the idea of a cozy home date, sat down beside him on the bed, letting Jiwoong pick. Jiwoong scrolled through the options, then deliberately chose a R-21 film.

As the film was playing with heat, the room grew tense.

Jiwoong tried to appear calm, his eyes fixed on the screen, though his flushed cheeks betrayed him. Beside him, Ricky shifted uncomfortably, his hands clenched on his knees.

“Uh… I need to go to the bathroom,” Ricky hurried out.

When Ricky returned, he sat obediently beside Jiwoong again, pretending nothing had happened. They finished the film in silence, then lay beneath a thick blanket together.

Jiwoong pressed a soft kiss to Ricky’s forehead, whispering, “Good night.”

But later in the past midnight, Jiwoong woke up as he reached out, only to find the space beside him empty.

His heart stuttered, until he heard faint noises from the bathroom. Stepping closer, he froze at the sound,  Ricky’s low, muffled moans, his name slipping from Ricky’s lips.

Jiwoong’s chest ached.

The film had left Ricky hard, and he had chosen to deal with it alone, rather than risk Jiwoong’s discomfort. Even here, Ricky was holding back, sacrificing his own release for Jiwoong.

Jiwoong leaned against the cool wall outside the bathroom. For the first time, he truly understood how much Ricky was giving up for him, how deeply he cared.

“Just wait a little longer, Ricky,” he whispered to himself. “I’ll be ready. I swear I’ll be ready.”

And not long after that night, when for the first time in so long Jiwoong had accepted it, the warmth of Ricky releasing inside him, the clumsy, almost childlike thrusts that still managed to tickle every nerve, and Ricky’s innocent, unguarded expression as he pushed forward, Jiwoong felt like he was seeing stars with every movement.

He wasn’t completely healed, not yet, but Ricky gave him sex that felt safe, sex that brought more pleasure than pain. Even their second time, their third, and the countless nights that followed, the feeling of Ricky inside him still sending Jiwoong to heaven.

And Ricky too, every time his cock was inside the person he loved most, the person he once feared losing forever, he felt shivers racing up his spine. He wanted to make each night into eternity, to carve that love into Jiwoong.

And Jiwoong liked it, the moments when he had sex with Ricky.

It didn’t hurt much, just the first entrance, that brief stretch of his tiny hole accepting Ricky’s huge dick. After that, it was only pleasure. Or maybe the pleasure was simply too overwhelming, washing over him until even the trace of pain was drowned.

ꫂ❁

After Ricky graduated, there was no reason for them to stay near the campus anymore. Since they both loved traveling, Ricky suggested countless options, he even dared to bring up moving to another state, or even another continent.

He pulled up images of breathtaking scenery from different countries on the smart TV, pointing them out with excitement. Jiwoong just watched him, smiling at his enthusiasm, and eventually chuckled.

“I like being in this city, Ricky. As long as it’s with you,” Jiwoong said, resting his hand on Ricky’s shoulder and pulling him closer.

“Are you sure?” Ricky asked.

Jiwoong nodded. “I like your hometown too. What if we moved back there?”

“I want to start a new journey for my working life, so maybe a new place would be better.”

“You said you got offered plenty of projects in LA. What about staying in the coastal part of LA, then?” Jiwoong asked as he hugged Ricky.

“Do you want to go back there, hyung?”

“It’s such a pretty place.” Jiwoong remembered the neighborhood where he had spent his younger days. Even though the memories weren’t always good, the thought of returning with Ricky made him feel safer and happy.

At first, Ricky hesitated, knowing that the city held painful memories for Jiwoong. But seeing how much Jiwoong seemed to long for it, Ricky made up his mind.

“Okay… I’ll buy a house there!” Ricky said, slipping out of Jiwoong’s embrace to grab his phone.

That’s how they ended up staying in a big house by the coast with a beautiful ocean view. Jiwoong couldn’t hide his joy once they were done decorating it. Ricky even found himself wondering how Jiwoong’s taste could be so good, almost like a professional interior designer.

Jiwoong happily opened the balcony door and stepped outside. He walked closer to the fence, and Ricky followed, wrapping his arms around Jiwoong’s waist.

Jiwoong held Ricky’s hands as if asking him to hug tighter.

Memories of his younger days flooded in, he barely had time to even admire the city. His tiny apartment had no luxury, no bright sunlight pouring in, no view worth looking at.

Back then, Jiwoong didn’t even dare to dream of standing and looking at this breathtaking landscape like this. He had faced countless struggles, things the little kid from Seoul could never have imagined.

Now, after everything, he finally stood tall in this city, without fear, and with the person he loved most by his side. It was so overwhelming that his eyes became faintly wet.

Ricky, still hugging him, tilted his head to peek at Jiwoong’s face, and his heart ached.

“Hyung,” Ricky whispered softly.

Noticing his gaze, Jiwoong chuckled and pulled Ricky into a front embrace. “Thank you, Ricky.”

Ricky didn’t answer. He simply nodded, resting his chin on Jiwoong’s shoulder, his arms tightening around Jiwoong’s torso.

“This house should be our wedding gift,” Jiwoong said with a smile, gently releasing the embrace to hold Ricky’s hand as he gazed at the beautiful pink and purple shades of the sunset.

“It’s nothing. I could buy you something bigger than this as my wedding gift!” Ricky said seriously, he truly planned to give Jiwoong something huge.

“Is there anything bigger than your love for me?” Jiwoong’s reply only made Ricky fall even deeper in love with him.

“Your love for me, hyung.” Ricky’s ears turned red as he looked away, too shy to meet Jiwoong’s eyes.

Ricky almost never joked like that, so Jiwoong was a little surprised. Unable to help himself, Jiwoong leaned in and kissed Ricky’s lips to end this cheesy conversation.

ꫂ❁

Of course, they weren’t superhuman who could have sex every single day, no matter how much they craved for it.

Ricky and Jiwoong often joked that they were like cats in heat, but even they knew it would be reckless, especially back when Ricky still had morning classes to attend. So, they kept it moderate, saving their horniest nights for weekends.

But things changed after Ricky graduated. With work taking him to his home studio most days, his schedule became more flexible.

Jiwoong dropped by often, but today was different. He arrived in an unusual outfit, a black vest and suit with a deep V-neck embraced his bare chest, his hair styled neatly with his bangs parted slightly, and glittery makeup on his skin, the kind of male Korean idol look that made him shine, like a star stepping off the stage.

He opened the door carefully, but Ricky always noticed immediately, he was sensitive to Jiwoong’s presence. The moment the door creaked, Ricky’s gaze lifted from his work, and his jaw dropped. Jiwoong walked slowly toward him.

With a sensual tone, Jiwoong whispered, “Do you know K-pop?”

Ricky nodded, recalling that he had studied bits of popular culture from different countries.

“Please… don’t laugh. Hyung wants to show you something.”

He connected his phone to the studio speaker and played a song.

As the chorus hit, Jiwoong stepped back and began to move. His hips rolled, thrusting to the beat, his arms lifting as though pinned by invisible hands.

The sight alone made Ricky’s body react instantly, especially the lower part of his body, and the fabric of his pants became tight.

He took off his glasses and rushed forward, unable to wait a second longer.

Jiwoong didn’t resist when Ricky touched him, guiding him onto the desk. Ricky hovered over him, staring into Jiwoong’s made up face.

“God…” Ricky whispered, his fingers brushing Jiwoong’s skin lightly, the glitter transferred to his hands, and it revived something wild in him. Jiwoong looked unbearably beautiful.

Ricky wanted to lick away the shimmer around his eyes, but instead, he held himself back, unbuttoning Jiwoong’s shirt layer by layer, unbuckling the black pants, and pulling him close. His fingers slipped lower, carefully preparing Jiwoong’s entrance as he hungrily looked at every reaction on Jiwoong’s face.

“Uhh–Ricky—”

“I already loosened it,” Jiwoong said slyly, smiling as Ricky’s fingers slipped in with surprising ease.

“Then I think you’re ready.” Ricky turned Jiwoong around so that his ass pressed against him, and without wasting time, he entered his cock.

“Ri–Ricky—”

Ricky did everything he could to please Jiwoong. Even though he couldn’t see Jiwoong’s face from this angle, he thrust deeply inside him, one hand wrapped firmly around Jiwoong’s hardened cock while the other pinched his nipple.

He bent down to suck along Jiwoong’s back, leaving a hot and wet sensation across his skin.

It was as if every part of Ricky’s body was devoted to wrecking Jiwoong, to making him feel nothing, but the grace of being fucked, sending him straight to heaven.

Watching his dick slide in and out of Jiwoong’s pale, perfect buttocks made Ricky burn with desire.

Jiwoong trembled under every touch, even though he couldn’t see Ricky’s expression, he knew and he felt it, how hard Ricky was working, pouring his entire being into giving him pleasure.

That realization touched Jiwoong deeply, more than even the depth of Ricky’s cock diving inside him.

Ricky stopped his thrust and pulled his cock gently, turning Jiwoong so now he could see his face. The makeup had slightly faded, sweat making his bangs stick, but still Jiwoong looked so beautiful that Ricky kissed his lips.

Jiwoong accepted the kiss happily, wrapping his arms around Ricky’s shoulders.

“But hyung… why were you jerking your hips like that? Do you want to put this inside Ricky?” Ricky’s hand teasingly touched Jiwoong’s sensitive cock that had just leaked cum. His words were playful, but his expression turned a little gloomy.

“Hyung looked so happy moving like that… do you want to try being on top of Ricky too?” Ricky asked. He always slipped into third person when he was into something.

Ricky looked sad. He always had this kind of feeling, Jiwoong was still a man who used to use his front, but since Jiwoong was with him, he could only use his back.

And while Ricky was happy being the one to fuck him, to see how beautiful was Jiwoong beneath him, those thoughts made Ricky uneasy, afraid Jiwoong might feel incomplete.

“No, it’s just a dance movement,” Jiwoong chuckled. “Hyung only wants to be fucked by Ricky’s dick.”

Ricky’s lips parted, his small teeth showing as his face slowly brightened.

“Really?” Ricky asked.

Jiwoong nodded. “Hyung can’t live without Ricky’s cock. So Ricky has to take responsibility and give it to hyung forever.”

Ricky’s ears grew hot, his whole face red. He was about to explode from the mix of lust and happiness bursting inside him.

ꫂ❁

Not long after they moved, their lives quickly grew busier. Ricky began accepting projects, the ones that truly excited him.

As a top student from a prestigious art college, opportunities came flooding in, yet Ricky chose carefully, working only on what inspired him.

Meanwhile, Jiwoong was expanding his own success. His café had become so popular that it attracted attention even beyond the city.

With a trusted manager and skilled baristas he had personally trained, Jiwoong was free to focus on opening a new branch. Ricky supported him every step of the way, even creating artwork to decorate the café in the middle of his own busy days.

Both of them were working harder than ever. Ricky often went to the company when a project required it, but most of his time was spent in his home studio, a spacious and fully equipped place that held everything he needed.

Jiwoong would sometimes drop by with fresh coffee or homemade food, and Ricky would always stop to kiss him in thanks.

Even when their schedules grew full, they made space for each other.

Some nights they ended up exhausted on the couch, Jiwoong’s head resting on Ricky’s lap while Ricky absentmindedly stroked his hair. Other nights, they stayed up late talking on the balcony. Busy as they were, every little moment reminded them why they had chosen this city and to choose each other.

Some days, when Ricky returned from long trips outside the city, his body ached that only Jiwoong could soothe.

The moment he stepped into the house, he clung to Jiwoong with the kind of desperation that made him forget his fatigue.

That night, Jiwoong lay sprawled on the bed, too tired to fully respond, yet Ricky still thrust his cock inside Jiwoong, while his nose nuzzled into the familiar warmth of Jiwoong’s skin. “Hyung… I missed you…”

Their kisses were slow, but Ricky’s grip was tight, he wanted to melt into Jiwoong’s body and never leave again. Jiwoong let him, holding him with the little strength he had left, giving what comfort he could.

By the end, Jiwoong’s lashes were damp, his lips parted as he caught his breath, while Ricky buried his face in Jiwoong’s shoulder. That’s how they spent their hard times together.

Of course there was also another episode when Ricky almost lost his sense because of his work.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Ricky looked ready to punch the big screen on the table when Jiwoong walked in, carrying Ricky’s favorite snacks.

“What happened to my baby?” Jiwoong set the chips Ricky liked right in front of him.

“Can I just live by hugging and kissing you, hyung?” Ricky whined, slumping in his chair. Jiwoong could see the project worth millions that was slowly draining him.

Jiwoong smiled. “Then what’s Ricky going to do to feed me?” he teased.

“Hyung… will you leave me if I don’t have any income?” Ricky’s voice cracked, almost sobbing.

“No,” Jiwoong chuckled softly, brushing his hand over Ricky’s hair. “It’s okay, hyung can feed both of us. But if Ricky stops now, Ricky won’t look as cool as he does now. Hyung will be dating… unemployment?” His laughter finally spilled out.

Ricky’s eyes widened. “No! Ricky wants to be a cool boyfriend for hyung!” He straightened his shoulders, determination flaring back as he gripped his digital pen with both hands.

Jiwoong’s chest warmed at the sight of his cute Ricky, who was still a baby after all.

“Hyung, can you stop working and just stay by Ricky’s side forever?” It had been months since Ricky last whined like this, but once again he had hit a wall that left him restless and needy.

“Then Ricky will get bored of me, and hyung will be sad,” Jiwoong replied gently, stroking Ricky’s hair.

Ricky shook his head hard. “No! Ricky won’t be bored of you, hyung…” His answer came so fast.

Jiwoong smiled softly. “Do you want me to close the café for a few days?” His sincere voice warmed Ricky’s heart and Ricky smiled hopefully.

“Can you really do that?” Ricky asked, eyes wide like a child seeking reassurance.

Jiwoong nodded without hesitation.

So, for the next two days, Jiwoong closed the café and stayed by Ricky’s side. It was just Jiwoong’s presence, his warmth, his laughter filling the time to pull Ricky back on track.

ꫂ❁

Time flew faster than they expected. They got used to the distance now, both of them busy in their own ways. Ricky had accepted this reality.

It was Ricky’s turn to leave, he went overseas for a week, and Jiwoong endured the quiet days alone. He yearned for Ricky, but he kept it hidden, not wanting to burden Ricky with his longing.

When Ricky finally came back, his excitement was written all over his face as he rushed to meet Jiwoong. Jiwoong tried to hide his own, forcing a calm smile, but his body betrayed him.

The moment Ricky’s arms wrapped tightly around him, Jiwoong’s restraint broke, he grew hard instantly, his body was too honest.

“Hyung…” Ricky whispered, catching the truth Jiwoong couldn’t hide. His voice trembled with relief and longing.

Just as Ricky was about to pull Jiwoong toward the bed, Jiwoong pressed a hand against his chest, stopping him. Ricky froze, the sudden pause stinging a little, though he forced himself to ask first.

“Hyung… why?” Ricky asked with a nervous tone. 

Jiwoong’s face burned red. He lowered his gaze, his words stumbling out. “You… you seemed to forget… this month…”

Before Jiwoong could finish, Ricky’s eyes widened, his iris dilating as the realization hit him.

“Oh! Our wedding!” Ricky broke into a wide smile, his excitement bursting out instantly.

Jiwoong turned his face away, his cheeks still hot with embarrassment.

It had been nearly three years since Ricky’s graduation. And now, finally, their wedding day was only a month away.

“Hyung, why do you look so shy? Shouldn’t you be excited? We’re finally getting married!”

“I am exciced…” Jiwoong admitted softly, then he whispered something to Ricky.

“What, hyung? Do you want to stop having sex with me before our wedding?” Ricky was confused as Jiwoong buried himself under the thick blanket.

Jiwoong didn’t answer, only a tiny nod beneath the fabric gave him away.

Ricky couldn’t accept it. “Then I’ll marry you tomorrow!” he declared, tugging at the blanket with a strength Jiwoong hadn’t expected.

Jiwoong’s head popped out, eyes wide in surprise as Ricky pulled him close, Jiwoong ended up on Ricky’s lap, his bare legs instinctively wrapping around Ricky’s waist.

“Ricky…” Jiwoong’s protest melted into a gasp as Ricky pressed his face against his shoulder, kissing and biting him with tenderness.

Jiwoong arched back, heat rushing through him, his body betraying him again. From below, Ricky couldn’t take his eyes off him, Jiwoong’s sharp nose, the strong line of his brows, even the curve of his aegyosal standing out so distinctly.

Ricky bent his knees, making Jiwoong’s cock press tightly between his lower abdomen, and the deep thrust of his cock aligned into Jiwoong’s hole until the shaft was fully swallowed. Jiwoong took it well and he wouldn’t tell Ricky that he had prepped himself, loosening with all his might while thinking about Ricky.

Jiwoong wondered now how his life would be without Ricky’s dick, without Ricky pampering him like this.

Jiwoong always thought Ricky’s sexual desire was at its peak, that he was horny every day, but seeing himself now, happily being fucked by Ricky, Jiwoong got embarrassed. Maybe it was him who was always in heat, craving Ricky even more.

When Jiwoong glanced down, Ricky saw his eyes wet, his lips trembling with a smile.

“You… you even prepared yourself for me?”

Jiwoong’s ears turned red instantly. He wanted to look away, but Ricky cupped his cheek, forcing him to face him.

“You wanted my dick that badly?” Ricky smiled brightly as his hips slammed harder.

“I just… thought it would be easier for you. You work so hard, Ricky. I don’t want to make it harder…”

Ricky replied with a deep kiss, jerking his hips hard and swallowing Jiwoong’s moans.

“Hyung, are you sure you can wait for a fucking month?” Ricky didn’t stop pushing deeper.

“Look at you…” Ricky smirked, pressing deeper until he felt the bulge against Jiwoong’s tight stomach. His palm slid down, pressing lightly over Jiwoong’s belly so he could feel himself inside him. “You’re already stuffed so full, but still clenching, it feels so good,” Ricky chuckled as he released deep inside Jiwoong.

“Answer me, hyung! Can you really endure a whole month without Ricky’s dick filling you like this?”

Jiwoong was pressed down against the mattress, his cheek against the sheets, while his hips stayed lifted by Ricky’s strong grip.

When he was half way pulling his cock out, he slammed it hard from behind, with every thrust, the wet sound of their bodies echoed, and the leaking cum slipped down Jiwoong’s thighs.

Jiwoong’s hole twitched with each push. “Hyung, now tell me… are you sure about it?”

“N-no—I can’t, Ricky I can’t–uh-” Jiwoong tried to escape but Ricky’s grip on his waist held him firmly in place.

Ricky froze for a moment, guilt flashing through his chest as he saw Jiwoong moaning helplessly, his body quivering under him.

“Hyung…” His thrusts slowed as he thought of pulling out, but before he could retreat, Jiwoong let out a desperate wish.

“F-fuck me every day–fuck me every second, Ricky!”

Jiwoong’s body arching beautifully as he said so, and Ricky happily grant it, Ricky fucked Jiwoong even harder and each thrust sent shocks of pleasure.

Ricky adjusted their bodies, not letting Jiwoong rest for long even though he just cummed. With a sudden pull and shift, he faced Jiwoong directly, his palms hooking under Jiwoong’s knees and lifting his legs high.

“R-Ricky—!” Jiwoong groaned, his hips tilting upward helplessly as Ricky’s weight pressed him down, he slid back inside in a firm thrust.

Jiwoong’s legs trembled, his body taut with pleasure and dripping sweat. Each thrust pressed him deeper into the mattress, yet Ricky’s eyes never left his face.

 “Ricky–I can’t-it’s too much”

“You can, hyung,” Ricky whispered, leaning down so his lips brushed Jiwoong’s temple. His thrusts slowed, but each one filled Jiwoong so deeply he cried out.

“Nnghh—ahh—Ricky… I’m close—”

Ricky wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Come for me, hyung. Let go while I’m inside you.”

With one more deep, tender push, Jiwoong’s body gave out, climax crashing through him. His inner walls clenched tightly around Ricky, drawing him even deeper.

“I hate seeing you cry… I’m sorry. I’ll stop,” Ricky whispered, brushing away Jiwoong’s tears before pressing gentle kisses to his damp eyes.

No matter how much Ricky was enjoying it, no matter how much Jiwoong’s body drove him to the edge, seeing tears stream down Jiwoong’s face was the last thing he ever wanted.

Even if Jiwoong called them tears of happiness, Ricky knew the truth, they marked his limit. So Ricky always stopped, always careful, always gentle even in Jiwoong’s hazy state.

Their bodies finally stilled, sweat, cum, and gels cooling against the sheets, though Ricky remained inside Jiwoong for a long moment.

When he finally pulled out, Jiwoong whimpered softly, his legs trembling, too weak to move them himself.

“Can you even walk to the bathroom?” Ricky chuckled, pressing a kiss to Jiwoong’s temple.

“I don’t think so… but you came so much inside me, it feels weird. I need to clean it up.” Jiwoong’s hand rested on his stomach.

“Ung? Then hyung’s belly is even more precious right now, because it’s holding all of Ricky’s seed. What a shame it has to be cleaned up,” Ricky teased, leaning down to kiss Jiwoong’s stomach.

The soft touch made Jiwoong’s cock twitch, and Ricky’s chest burned with the temptation to take him again. But instead, he forced himself to push the thought aside.

With tenderness, he slipped his arms beneath Jiwoong, lifting him gently. Jiwoong, exhausted but smiling faintly, let his head fall against Ricky’s shoulder as Ricky carried him like a princess toward the bathroom.

Jiwoong’s hole was still dripping, wetting the floor with every step Ricky took. He didn’t even realize he had come that much until he felt the trail marking their way to the bathroom. Jiwoong squirmed a little in his arms, embarrassed, his cheeks flushed red.

“Hyung, you’re leaking everywhere.”

Jiwoong buried his face against Ricky’s neck, “It’s your fault… you filled me too much.”

Ricky’s heart softened at how fragile Jiwoong felt in his arms. “Then it’s my responsibility to clean you up, right?”

Ricky set Jiwoong down gently on the edge, steadying him with a hand at his back. Jiwoong’s legs trembled too much to move on their own, so Ricky guided him carefully into the warm water.

ꫂ❁

Ricky always found Jiwoong adorable whenever he caught him staring at the huge frame hanging in the middle of their house. It was their wedding picture on the aisle.

A week had already passed since that day, but Jiwoong still couldn’t believe it was real.

Meanwhile, Ricky would flush red every time he mentioned Jiwoong as his husband, not boyfriend anymore. It felt sweet and sacred on his tongue.

They still couldn’t believe that they married now, even though they spent hotter nights together.

When their wedding rings clashed together as they held hands, that small metallic sound always sent warmth through their chests.

It reminded them both that they truly belonged to each other. Sometimes that reminder stirred something wild inside them, pushing them to want more, to go further.

After marriage, they only got bolder, wilder in bed, sealing their vows over and over again in the heat of the night.

But more than desire, what amazed them most was how their love never faded. Each day and night, they found new reasons to hold on tighter.

Instead of getting used to each other, they only grew closer. Every single day, their love just kept growing. They couldn’t trace the beginning of their love, but they knew there was no end. Only eternity that they had promised to believe in together.

They had set the date for their honeymoon, and today was the day. They were heading to a place known as one of the best stargazing spots in the world, the beautiful place they would love it so much.

The road stretched endlessly before them, the ocean views slowly fading into the quiet vastness of the desert. Hours of driving carried them farther and farther from the city.

Ricky kept his focus on the road, one hand steady on the wheel, the other resting on Jiwoong’s thigh, sometimes he held Jiwoong’s hand too.

By the time they arrived, the world felt different.

They spread a blanket over the cool ground like a few other couples who had also come for the night sky. Above them, the desert ceiling glittered with stars and it felt endless.

Jiwoong leaned back on one hand, his legs stretched out, while Ricky sat close beside him. Both of them tilted their heads toward the night sky.

“Because it’s beautiful?” Ricky guessed.

Jiwoong nodded, then his smile deepened. “Remember on the peak of ferris wheel? You told me if we made a wish up there, it would come true, because we were closer to the sky.”

“Ah, and then you said it was supposed to be on a shooting star,” Ricky recalled with a laugh.

“And you said stars are falling every moment,” Jiwoong added and they laughed together.

“Now look,” Jiwoong whispered, gazing upward, “Not just stars, but the whole Milky Way. Doesn’t that mean our wishes have an even greater chance now?”

“You’re right, hyung. Maybe this time I’ll wish for something even bigger.” Ricky closed his eyes, his fingers tightening around Jiwoong’s.

Jiwoong watched him fondly, then closed his eyes too. Both of them, silently, mentioned each other’s name just like before.

Ricky opened his eyes first. “On the ferris wheel, my wish was to be with you forever,” he confessed shyly.

Jiwoong smiled. “And mine was for you to be happy.”

“Really?” Ricky’s cheeks blushed red.

Jiwoong nodded.

“Then both wishes already came true,” Ricky smiled brightly, he looked so dazzling just like the stars above him. “I’m with you now, and I’ve been happy ever since… right up to this moment.”

They looked up at the stars one more time before turning back to each other. For a moment, they just smiled, taking in the face in front of them. Then, slowly, they leaned in, eyes closing as their lips met in a soft kiss. Above them, the beautiful night sky stretched wide, witnessing this beautiful love.

ꫂ❁

The path Jiwoong walked was rough with sharp gravel and he had always walked it barefoot. It was a long, cold, and lonely road, one he had grown too used to.

So when someone offered him shoes, swept away the gravel, and smoothed the path into something soft and silky, Jiwoong still felt the stabbing pain in his feet.

He was too accustomed to expect only pain that even when the cold wind faded, even when the warm sun broke through the darkness, he hardly noticed.

All he could do was stare down at his own bleeding steps, focusing only on moving forward. Because pain was the only thing he had ever known how to walk with.

So even when the road ahead turned soft and beautiful, Jiwoong feared he could never walk it the way Ricky did. He could only limp forward, dragging his wounded feet that never healed.

But Ricky did more than that. He walked beside him, holding his hand, never letting him fall behind.

He reminded Jiwoong to pause, to lift his gaze toward the wide blue sky, to close his eyes and feel the wind that was no longer cold as the sun began to rise again. And even in the starless nights, when all seemed dark, there were still lights that guided Jiwoong’s steps.

A gentle reminder that there was no such thing as endless night. That somewhere beyond the cold and silence, a new life awaited.

And of course, it was because Ricky was the light itself. For Jiwoong, loving someone like Ricky was the longest and the most beautiful journey of his life.

It took time for him to believe in love, a long way to let it in. But to take Ricky’s hand and call it real, to let himself be warmed by that light, was the most beautiful path he had ever walked.

His longest way… to love.

ꫂ❁

Highway to Love

Side Story: Longway to Love

END

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