Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was early in the morning, the sunlight pouring in through the open cabin windows and casting a soft glow on the brand new notebook that laid on the kitchen table, it's pages new and fresh, unused and bare for whatever the survivors want to use it for. A few pens and pencils lay scattered on the table near the notebook, all sharpened and brand new since they've yet to be used.

Soon, the survivors begin to wake up, the first being the resident war veteran -Guest 1337- who is always the first one up from used the military schedule. He walked into the kitchen to start making coffee for the others but ended up moving closer to the table and inspecting the notebook that laid there, flipping through the clean pages like he was looking for something. Maybe a sign of a trick, maybe the Spectre was trying to trick them into-

"Guest 1337?"

The calling of his name snapped Guest 1337 out of his train of thought, he turned around to face the retired exploiter -007n7- who's tail was swaying lazily behind him and his blonde and brunette curls were messy, making it clear the man had just woken up.

"Is that a... Notebook?" 007n7 asked softly, voice quiet since he had just woken up, he stepped closer to Guest 1337 to inspect what the man was holding, it appeared to be just a regular notebook, nothing too out of the ordinary, although it wouldn't hurt to be wary, they had no idea if this could be a catch, maybe something the Spectre would use against them. "Maybe we should wait for the others to wake up? I don't know, but I think it would be best if we took care of this with everyone present."

"Yeah, it's best if we wait, we don't know what this could be, after all. I'll go make some coffee, you want some?" Guest 1337 asked, placing down the notebook on the kitchen table and moving to start preparing coffee for the rest of the survivors, like he planned on doing before the whole "Suspiciously normal notebook that suddenly appeared in the kitchen" thing happened.

"Uhm, sure. Black, please! Thanks.." 007n7 replied, leaning against the counter and fidgeting anxiously with his tail and quietly zoning out. He missed his baby boy, he missed making pancakes for his hyperactive son who would come sprinting down the stairs giggling, always asking if he could get extra chocolate and light up like a Christmas tree when 007n7 caved and made a cute little smiley face with chocolate chips. He missed seeing that little tooth gap when his baby smiled, missed hearing him laugh and watching him draw on the living room floor, making colour drawings of himself, bluudud and pr3ttyprinces. God, he missed his siblings, he missed 118o8 and 226w6 and his cousin 007e7, he should've told them he was struggling, that c00lkid's disappearance had taken a toll on his mental state, but he didn't, and now... Now he was here, forever with no way out and his little boy is a murderous, blood thirsty killer that doesn't even know he's killing people—

"-n7? 007n7!"

"H-Huh-!?"

"You were zoning out, I just wanted to tell you your coffee is ready. Here" Guest said gently, placing the warm mug in the exploiter's hands before moving to pour himself his own mug. 007n7 stared at the coffee for a minute, the steam making his glasses foggy, he didn't mind, just took a small sip before mumbling a soft apology. "Sorry, for zoning out.. I can't help it, it just happens..."

"Don't apologise, it's fine." Guest said reassuringly, giving the man a warm smile before turning back to his coffee, letting the silence melt into something comfortable and gentle, 007n7 smiled into his mug at the feeling, his tail swaying happily behind him. For just a couple moments, they forgot about the notebook sitting on the table, both immersed in the comfortable silence that covered the kitchen area.

Chapter Text

It took a while for all the survivors to all be in the kitchen together. Elliot came down with Chance and Builderman, the pizzaria worker immediately glaring at 007n7 when he stepped into the kitchen, making the exploiter grimace and bow his head uncomfortably. Then came Taph and Dussekar, Noob and Two Time and lastly Shedletsky, being the last person to come down for reasons he refuses to elaborate on (he was too lazy to get out of bed), the winged admin stretching before moving to grab the notebook, giving it a shake and mindlessly flipping through the pages like he wasn't even looking at them. He put the notebook down again and turned to the others, a question look on his face.

"What's that all about?"

"We don't know either Shedletsky, we're all just as confused as you." Builderman -the father figure of the survivors- replied, his voice a mixture of gentle and stern as he moved to inspect the notebook as well. It was just a normal notebook, unwritten pages and the only thing it said on the cover was 'Survivor's Diary' and nothing more.
As Builderman stared at the notebook a little closer, he noticed a small sentence on the back cover, it was a small sentence that could easily be missed if you weren't paying attention, but Builderman caught it, and read it aloud so the others could also know about it.

"I won't have control or access to whatever is written in here. Enjoy. Signed, The Spectre." Builderman read, making the kitchen go completely silent, no one knew if it was just a trick, or of it was serious, they all knew the Spectre had an interesting sense of humour, but this seemed... Legit? It didn't seem fake or like a trick, it just seemed like a regular notebook that they could use for whatever they wanted.

"Aye, I'm gonna be real here, that looks legit." Chance said, flipping his coin and smirking when it landed on heads. But he was serious as could be, and a few words of agreement from most of the survivors only solidified the idea that this notebook might just be real, that there isn't a twist or a trick, just a notebook and a few pens and pencils for everyone to use. It seemed really simple, seemed honest, and it would actually be really nice to just have a diary to write in, to talk about feelings and thoughts and things they couldn't say out loud.

"Well," Builderman started, placing down the notebook on the kitchen table before turning back to the other survivors. "This could actually be really good for us all, like a sort of bonding exercise or just a way to put our thoughts into perspective. Of course we won't read it if you don't want anyone to but this could actually be very healthy for all of us."

"It would be nice to be able to express my feelings so freely." Taph signed, the demolist's wings twitching slightly as he did.

"Y-yeah, it would be n-nice to have something to write about our f-feelings in..." Noob added, fidgeting with the sleeves of their hoodie, picking at a few loose strings.

"I agree with Builds, this could be really good for bonding and whatever, it would actually be pretty nice." Shedletsky chimed in, running a hand through his curly brown hair to sort of fix it up since he, along with basically everyone else, still had bed hair.

A few more people added in comments about how this could be good for expressing things and all that stuff, which in the end was decided that everyone would have a couple pages to themselves and could write about anything they wanted and to add their names on their pages so the others know who's who. Soon, everyone was on board with the idea and just got back to doing whatever they were going to do before the notebook, with Guest 1337 handing out coffee to anyone who wanted it, Shedletsky already eating his fried chicken, Two Time leaving to a quieter place to pray to the Spawn, 007n7 retreated to his cabin immediately since being in the main cabin was making him overwhelmed and anxious, Elliot was making pizza for the next round and the rest were just doing their own things.

Chapter Text

It's been a few days since the notebook arrived, no one really touched it yet even though they all agreed it would be healthy to. So after a particularly good round, Chance walked into the kitchen, grabbed the notebook and a pen and walked back to his cabin, he wanted to write today, wanted to just talk (or in this case, write) about themself, about the little details about themself they've never shared.
And so, when he reached he cabin, he sat down on his chair, opened the notebook and started writing.

• Chance Spade DeRosa

Age: 24

Gender: Non-binary (He/They)

Sexuality: Bisexual

———————————————————————————————

•My favourite card is the Spade because it's in my name.

•I had a black continental giant rabbit, his name is Spade! (Which is another reason of why it's my favourite card)

•I'll make bets on little anything and everything, sometimes I bet on how long Two Time's prayers last or how many bloxy colas Noon can drink at a time.

•My favourite number is 7.

•I really like dancing in the rain, I wish it rained more in this place.

•I have a stash of coins and dice in my room, all organised. I loose my coins a lot in rounds.

•My headphones are noise cancelling because I have sensitive hearing due to my gun. The sunglasses are because my eyes are light sensitive.

•My favourite music genre is jazz, when I'm bored or zoning out I start humming old casino tunes or just jazz.

•I'm a very competitive person.

•Stargazing is really awesome (thank you 007n7 for introducing me to it, we've seen tons of shooting stars!)

———————————————————————————————
𝖳𝖶!!

-Murder
-Alcohol
-Drugs

•I think I was a bad friend to iTrapped and that's why he killed me. If I was a better friend to him maybe things would've been different.

•I have a really high alcohol tolerance, so it's safe to say I used to drink a lot, I also used to do drugs but I'm clean now and I worked on it, it's wasn't like an addiction or anything but I used more than I should've.

•My hand is really scarred from my gun exploding on me, I'm basically collecting them at this point.

•Spade was a gift from iTrapped to me when I first told him I like rabbits. I miss my baby, I hope he's okay. I hope iTrapped is okay too, despite everything, he was still my friend.

•Sometimes when I look at Noob, I see iTrapped instead, they look so much alike, but I'm trying to change, to remember they're two different people! :)
———————————————————————————————

Chance sighed as he put his pen down, he didn't even realise his hand was was shaking whenever he wrote iTrapped's name, he closed the notebook and put his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths to steady himself. They didn't know why their chest felt so tight when they thought of iTrapped (and no, not because they were stabbed in the chest), why something in their brain told them that it's wasn't their fault. Of course it was their fault! Had he been a better friend to iTrapped, maybe they'd still be friends, still be together getting drinks at the bar, Chance carrying iTrapped back home since he got drunk so easily. Maybe that's the difference between Noob and iTrapped, one gets drunk easily and the other has a high tolerance, just like them.

Chance sighed, grabbed the notebook and returned to the main cabin to place it back on the kitchen table, which was now it's designated spot according to Builderman.

'If you're going to take the notebook, don't forget to bring it back to the table, we don't know what might happen if we lose it.' The man had said.

When Chance reached the main cabin, he found Elliot taking a pizza out of the oven, a cheeky grin spreading across his face as he placed the notebook on the table and leaned against the counter.

"Yummy, pizza!" Chance smirked, reaching to steal a slice only to whine when Elliot whacked his hand away, making the saddest pouty face he could muster while whining. "Ouch! Why did you do that, babe?!"

"One, I jus took it out of the oven, so it's still too hot. Two, it's for lunch, wait until everyone is at the table." Elliot lectured, but he still grabbed Chance's hand in his own two after he placed down the pizza, placing a soft peck to the other's slightly scarred knuckles. "Sorry for hitting you, dear."

"It's okay love, you know I'm just being dramatic." Chance reassured with a soft smile.

After a while, Chance left to call the the others to the table, but Elliot just stared at the notebook, he grabbed it and touched the cover, running his thumb over each letter of the title. Maybe he'd use it later, for now though, it was lunch time.

Chapter Text

Chance flipped his coin absentmindedly as he went to every survivors cabin and let them know that lunch would be ready soon, 007n7's cabin was the last one he went to, mostly because it was the farthest away from the others -which he found odd, but also reasonable in a way, he was a dangerous exploiter after all- and also because he was basically the only one without a partner, well, he did have Guest 1337 but the veteran spent most of his time in the main cabin with the rest of the survivors and basically slept there everyday, which meant 007n7 was alone most of, if not all the time.
When they finally snapped out of their thoughts, Chance was already at the exploiter's door, he knocked a couple times but didn't receive a response, he heard shuffling inside and assumed that he had woken the man up, which they would apologise for when the man inside opened the door.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
TW: SH, suicide flashback

007n7 was sitting on the edge of his bed, in one hand he held the blade of a razor, it was covered in blood, much like his arm that was split open with bleeding cuts that dripped down to the floor, creating a messy, crimson puddle beneath him. He wasn't really thinking about what he was doing, just the sharp sting of a small blade against his already scarred skin, he didn't have much space to work with considering his arm was already littered with scars that he inflicted upon himself, forcing himself to bleed to feel like he was still human, still alive (at least as alive as you can be after shooting yourself in the head), still... Fuck, he didn't even know anymore.

As 007n7 lost himself in his own thoughts, he couldn't help but go back to the old days, the day when he was running home after a storm broke out, he passed by an alleyway and he almost didn't hear the wailing through the rain, but he heard it, he turned and walked towards the box...

...

"God f###ing damn it, stupid storm..." 007n7 muttered, wiping his glasses for the fourth time, it didn't help though since they immediately got wet with raindrops, he would take them off if he could fucking see without them. "Can this ##### day get any worse..." He grumbled, and immediately got his answer when he heard terrified wails coming from the alley he just walked past. He stopped. Walked back and stared. Nothing.

"What the actual f##k?" The exploiter asked, though the question was entirely rhetorical. He walked cautiously towards the sound, and at the very end of the alley was a box, he crouched down and looked inside, making sure to keep some distance incase it was a trap or whatever. But as he looked inside, his heart stopped dead in his chest.

A baby.

A red skinned little pill baby sobbing his eyes out, the cardboard box it was in was soaked and the torn up, pathetic excuse for blanket he was clutching so tightly barely covered his little body properly. It was pitiful, really.

"Don't worry baby," 007n7 said, grabbing it and lighting up a fire with his C00LGUI. "I'll put you out of your... misery..." He stopped just as he was about to drop the little thing in the fire, he stared at the baby's little red hands wrapped around his thumbs, a silly little smile on his tear stained face. He couldn't do it, he couldn't kill this little thing. 007n7 held the baby close, listening to it babble and whimper from the rain as he resumed his running back home. Fuck, he needed to call Noli.

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙?

007n7 held his baby close, his little c00lkid, his reason to change, the light in his otherwise dark life. His hands and shirt stained with blood, face streaked with tears as he sobbed into his baby's hair.

Dead.

His son was 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙, and there was nothing he could've done to save him.

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤?

007n7 was sitting on the couch holding a picture he took of himself and c00lkid. He stared until his eyes blurred with fat tears he didn't bother holding back, letting them stream down his cheeks and slightly wet the picture he was holding. He already said his goodbyes to 007e7 and Noli (despite the other not responding, he still couldn't bring himself to do this without saying goodbye to the other), now his time had come, and he just couldn't stay anymore.

007n7 grabbed the gun resting beside him and took the safety off.

He aimed at his temple and—

𝘽𝘼𝙉𝙂 𝘽𝘼𝙉𝙂 𝘽𝘼𝙉𝙂

!!!

007n7 was abruptly brought back to reality by loud banging on his cabin door, fuck, he zoned out. His arms were still covered in now drying blood, he grabbed his gloves and put them on at a speed that impressed even him, but he couldn't let anyone see the scars, the cuts, they were his darkest secret besides the suicide, he couldn't let anyone know.

"Coming!" He called out, shoving his bloody razor into his pillowcase and sprinting to the door. He took a deep breath to calm himself, even as his hands shook on the doorknob, he twisted it open and was greeted by Chance flipping his coin, a grin taking place on his face when he saw 007n7 opening the door.

"Heya there, Seven!" Chance greeted, no longer flipping his coin and instead focusing on the exploiter in front of him. "Came to tell ya lunch is almost ready, so get going to the main cabin."

"Uhm, no thank you, Chance," 007n7 declined politely, the thought of food making him feel both nauseous and disgusted with himself. He was already fat, he shouldn't be eating at his size. "I'm just not hungry right now, sorry. You guys can keep my slice.." he smiled, warm but oh so fake, he didn't particularly like smiling, it hurt his cheeks and he always felt like he was doing it wrong.

"Are ya sure you're not hungry? Seven, I haven't seen you in the main cabin all week." Chance asked, suddenly sounding concerned for the man in front of him. He hadn't seen 007n7 all week despite for rounds, and his seat at the table was always empty, he always said he 'already ate' or just 'wasn't hungry' but no one really believed it anymore, however, no one spoke up because they didn't really like the exploiter either, at least most of the survivors didn't, Guest 1337 seemed to like him, Noob -despite being a little scared- tried to hang out with him every so often, Chance himself sometimes tries to include him or just talk to him sometimes, but he was getting worried now, and he had a feeling the others were too. Chance sometimes saw the way a few survivors would glance at his empty chair, some with concern, others with fake disdain, but they were worried for him, he was still one of them after all.

"Chance, I'm fine, I'm just not hungry." *007n7 responded too fast, trying to keep his cool even as his hands shook to close the door on the other's face and drift into a sleep he'd never wake up from. He didn't get why they were pretending like they cared, nobody cared about him, at least they shouldn't. Who would care for an ex-exploiter like him? He did terrible things, he destroyed Elliot's pizzaria more times than he can count, always causing chaos and exploding things, he didn't deserve to be cared about. "Just don't worry about me, 'kay?"

"Sure, Seven..." Chance mumbled, and with a sigh of defeat he turned on his heel and left for the main cabin, a part of him hoped 007n7 would follow, but he knew too well that the exploiter wouldn't. Oh well, now he had to go tell the others the man wasn't coming to eat... Again...

...

"Again? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen him eat anything this entire week." Shedletsky questioned, fried chicken halfway to his mouth.

"That can't be healthy, I've don't think I've seen him leave his cabin at all these past few days, well, except for the rounds, but still!" Elliot added, the first time he's shown genuine worry for the exploiter. Sure, the man had ruined his life, but the way he was isolating and clearly harming himself by not eating was serious and he was staring to get anxious over the fact that he man has not once shown up to breakfast, lunch OR dinner this entire week. The basically first and last time he saw the man was when the diary spawned in, but he hasn't seen him since.

"I'm gonna go get him, he needs to eat, this isn't healthy for him." Guest stated, getting up from the table and leaving the main cabin, walking over to 007n7's small, slightly isolated cabin. He didn't like how the man's cabin was so far from the others, but now his biggest concern was the man that resided inside.

"Seven. Open the door." Guest called out, voice harsher than he intended, but he couldn't help his irritation, not at 007n7 himself but more so the situation he was in, starving himself and keeping away from the other survivors like he was scared of them (he was pretty sure the exploiter was scared of Shedletsky, he noticed the way he flinched or trembled whenever they made eye contact or touched). The exploiter was in a bad spot, and Guest 1337 was worried for him. "I'm not playing around, open up Seven."

007n7 was speed-cleaning his cuts, bloodstained, black gloves on the floor as he washed away the blood on his arms, his heart beating so loud in his ears he swore it would make him deaf, his breathing was heavy and laboured as he worked on cleaning off the stains on his arms. Unfortunately, he missed Guest 1337 pounding on his door until he heard his door being kicked open, it was then he knew he was fucked, there was blood all over the sink and his arms, the razor blade lying right there underneath the water as blood mixed with it and down the drain, he didn't notice he was basically sobbing until he noticed his blurry vision and wet cheeks. He didn't move, he knew he was fucked to infinity and he couldn't do anything about it.

𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙘00𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙙— SHUT UP.

"Seven, are you oka—..." Guest 1337 stopped dead in his tracks as he stared at the retired exploiter, crying and shaking, tail wrapped around his ankle and blood all over the sink and his arms. "Oh god, oh shit- Seven are you okay?!" Guest 1337 called out, concern etched into every line of his voice as he grabbed the man's arms, eyes widening as he stared at the scars on his wrists and arms.

"I-i'm s-sorry..." 007n7 mumbled, head lowered and soft hiccups from crying escaping his lips as his hands shook in Guest 1337's grip, "I'm so so s-sorry, I didn't mean to..." 007n7 sobbed, and Guest 1337 could feel his heart breaking at the sight.

"Oh sweetheart, it's okay, I'm not mad, it's not your fault..." Guest 1337 mumbled comfortingly, wrapping his arms around 007n7's shoulders and pulling him into a tight hug, rubbing his back and hair as the exploiter stiffened for a second before sobbing his eyes out into Guest 1337's shoulder. "Let's clean you up, yeah?"

———————————————————————————————

007n7 stared at the bandages wrapped around his wrist, he felt guilty for waisting Guest 1337's time, the man could've just been eating but he came looking for him instead. His head was resting against the veteran's shoulder as he fixed the exploiter's bandages, making sure they were properly placed so 007n7 wouldn't hurt himself further.

So gentle and caring, so loving...

Oh Guest 1337...

What did I do to deserve you, my dear?

Chapter Text

007n7 stared blankly at his hands, at his bandaged wrists that Guest had oh so gently wrapped, he absentmindedly ran his thumb over the white fabric that was wrapped over his left wrist, then he looked to his side, staring at the notebook he managed to sneak out of the main cabin while the others were distracted, he felt guilty about taking it but he just needed something to do, an outlet for the thoughts in his head that were eating him alive and the constant voices in his head of people he used to know nagging him about everything and anything he did.

"𝘾𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙚 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚?"

"𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚."

"𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙣7?"

007n7 shook his head, a shudder running down his spine at that nickname, he knew he should forget, should move on, but how could he? It was his fault Noli was like this in the first place, if he just hadn't been so pushy, hadn't mentioned the void star, hadn't guilt tripped and gaslight Noli into taking that dammed thing, maybe they'd still be together hacking places and whatnot, maybe they'd be together...

•007n7 Samuel

Age: 34

Gender: Trans, Demiboy

Sexuality: Pansexual
———————————————————————————————

•My favourite colour is red.

•I really like stargazing, sometimes I'm glad it's always night time in this place, not always though.

•I have burns on my fingers because of the C00LGUI, it's mostly why I'm left handed.

•My horns and tail are both real, but also not really, they're more of a side effect of me overusing the C00LGUI. Ever since I got here they won't go away though.

•I u̶̶s̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ love strawberries!

•I really like thunderstorms, sad they don't happen often in this place.

•My self esteem isn't great.

•The noob on my burger hat is sentient, it can interact by making little sounds. It's name is Noobie, Noli used to call it W3bb as a nickname so sometimes I do to.

•Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed or stressed my voice gets glitchy (like Noli's except he has a stutter), there's a muffled static sound when I speak, it's not too noticeable but the glitching is.

•I have really bad anxiety, my hands are constantly shaking from it.

•I can summon things out of rounds, pretty much anything I want, it just doesn't work in rounds, I'm trying to fix it.

•H̶̶i̶̶s̶ My favourite season is Spring!

———————————————————————————————
TW!!

-Suicide
-Self Harm
-Eating Disorder
-Toxic Relationship/Behaviour

•Me and Noli used to be together in college and for while up until I told him to take the void star, I wish I never told him to and I regret it with every breath I take.

•Me and Noli weren't exactly healthy, I see that now. I used to be kinda neglectful to the relationship and sometimes controlling, Noli used to be equally distant despite being the one who tried the hardest and he enabled my behaviour. Overall, we were toxic together.

•After C00lkid went missing, I spent months looking for him, I used to, and still do, cut myself as both a coping mechanism and because I was punishing myself for him ending up missing. I still do it because I think I deserve it.

•I shot myself and that's how I got here, I have a scar under my chin from the it.

•I have a really low appetite and deny being hungry basically all the time, I found out I have ARFID (stands for Avoidant/Restricted Food Intake Disorder) which makes sense. I'm trying to make myself better but it's hard, so I just don't try all that hard despite knowing I should.

•Sometimes I just want to get worse, I don't know why, I just don't want to get better some days.
———————————————————————————————

007n7 stared at his page, his name written on top and all his problems, admissions and little things about himself written right there, he wasn't sure if he felt lighter, but he knew his hands were shaking a little. He put the pencil down and stared at his right hand, at the burns on his fingers from typing ok that black and red screen, his tail swishing anxiously behind him. He pulled off his glasses and rested his head in his hands, he thought about ripping his page out of the notebook and placing it back where it was, but maybe he shouldn't, maybe the others would be angry he wasted a page.

"Why is it getting so bad now..." 007n7 mumbled, trying to just keep his head down and avoid the sight of the pencil sharpener on his desk. He couldn't, he promised Guest 1337 he was trying to get better. But he also promised to tell him if he wasn't feeling too high. "God, I'm so fucking sorry..."

𝘿𝙞𝙨𝙜𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨

𝙆𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜

𝙋𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙘

𝘿𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙧, 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙖 𝙥𝙪𝙨𝙨𝙮

007n7 winced as he dug the blade in too deep, he broke his promise. Guest 1337, would be so disappointed if he knew, which is why, like he always did, he hid. He wrapped new bandages that looked just similar enough to the way Guest 1337 wrapped them to look convincing, washed the blade and hid it in a drawer, took a deep breath and pretended none of that happened. He grabbed the notebook, teleported into the kitchen so nobody would see him walk in (everyone there hated him, he didn't need to see the disdain and disgust in their eyes, the hatred and mock pity whenever his eyes were red or the fake sympathy and understanding when he skilled meals), he placed the notebook back on the table, pretending not to hear the conversation going on in the living room, something about Chance starting a bet on how many bloxy colas Noon can drink before he blacks out, 007n7 can only wonder why she has so many, how she has so many and where does she get them from. But it's not any of his business so he won't intrude in the conversation, he's not here to told anyway, just dropping off something he took and retreat to his cabin—

"Seven?"

007n7's head snapped up so fast he swore he heard a crack, tail stiff behind him as he tried to make sense of who in the world was in front of him. Right, he didn't put his glasses back on (curse being near sighted). But he knew that nickname, the one name only one person here called him.

"Guest..?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes dear, it's me." Thank god, 007n7 might have actually died on the spot if it wasn't him.

"O-oh, hi sweetie." 007n7 mumbled out, why was he mumbling? He wasn't sure, his chest just felt tight, like he might actually cry if he speaks louder than a whisper.

"You're shaking, love." Guest 1337 pointed out, his hands grasping the other's shoulder. 007n7's heart dropped to his stomach when he saw the veteran's eyes momentarily shift to his wrists, he couldn't see his face properly because he didn't have his glasses, but his knees nearly buckled when he felt the hands on his shoulders tighten their grip, it was only slightly, barely a fraction of a movement, but it was enough to make 007n7 feel like his chest was being crushed and his throat was closing and his eyes burned his welling tears. Oh no, oh he was going to cry wasn't he.

"Love—" "Not here, please not here..." 007n7 interrupted with a plea, not looking up from the ground. He pulled up the C00LGUI panel and typed in the 'Teleport' command, he found out fairly recently that he could teleport not just himself but others too, so he was using that to his advantage.

Suddenly, they were back at the exploiter's cabin, where the man who teleported them both proceeded to bury his face in the veteran's shoulder and start sobbing apologies, barely coherent through his tears but Guest 1337 managed to put some words together, something along the lines of "I broke my promise", "please don't hate me", "I didn't mean to, I swear" and "don't leave me", that's not even counting the fact he was using the word 'sorry' like a comma.

"Shh, baby please calm down, you're okay, I don't hate you, I won't leave you." Guest 1337 spoke, his voice calm and soothing. This wasn't the first time he'd comforted someone, especially not his panic attack prone, anxiety filled boyfriend, but it always made his chest tighten when he wrapped his arms around shaking shoulders and mumbled comforting words into his hair until he calmed, always made his breath hitch when he saw the guilty, pained expression on 007n7's face when he helped bandage his wrists. He wanted to hell him so bad, to just be able to convince his darling that he was loved and appreciated and that he would spend every day of his life proving that, no matter what they went through, and god knows he wished 007n7 could see that, and god knows he'd stay there through ever cut, every panic attack, every "I miss my son" and "I should've been a better father", he would never leave his side, not now, not ever.

Guest 1337 stayed there with 007n7 in his arms, at some point they moved the the bed with the exploiter lying on the veteran's chest, they stayed like that until they fell asleep, 007n7 with dry tears streaks on his face and Guest 1337 breathing softly into the other's hair, arms wrapped around eachother like they never want to let go, because they don't, and that's something that won't change between them for as long as one of them is breathing.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Elliot walked into the kitchen, planning to just grab some water when he saw the notebook lying the table, the notebook he'd been looking for after lunch. He curiously checked the pages, not reading what was written in the entries, just the names so he could at least know who took the notebook last.

"7n7?" Elliot mumbled, more to himself than anything. He barely even saw the exploiter during lunch, only seeing him barely eat a single slice of pizza before simply sitting there staring at nothing until everyone else started getting up. Maybe it was when he was leaving that he grabbed it, who knows. At least now the notebook is back here, maybe once the cabin is quieter, he doesn't exactly want anyone intruding on him.

"Oh, right, my water."