Archive of Our Own ^beta

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TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Happy Birthday!!!
DATE: March 10

Happy Birthday Buck! 🥳 🎉

I do miss you, so much! I was checking with Nat about what we’ll do to celebrate with you. When you get back on your next leave we can celebrate. Then I can bring you around and say this is my boyfriend. 😀 I can’t believe that. We’re actually official and the only part I’m pissed about is you waited until your final night to tell me how you felt. Then left me here all alone. 

Okay, well, not alone. I have Nat here. 

Oh, did Rebecca email you? She’s being a little shit. She pulled me into the water when we went out to the docks. After I told her I didn’t want to swim because it’s freakin’ cold in that water. I had to buy a stupid I ❤️ NY shirt from the stand nearby. She has a photo and won’t let me delete it. So, that’s out there.

Anyways, I’ll keep an eye out for your email. Hopefully things are going good over there in Wisconsin. Let me know what’s happening. Nothing is too much. Or maybe you were before. I don’t know what we did as friends before we do as a couple now. Right? Please say, right. 

Okay, bye. 😀

TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!!!
DATE: March 10

Excuse me! I had to hear from Steve just now that you guys spent the last night together making out? Goddamn Barnes, I didn’t think you’d actually have the balls to finally pull the trigger. You’ve only been in love with Steve since forever! But seriously? You couldn’t just mention it when you stopped by on your way to the airport? It would’ve taken two seconds!

You know that you just made Steve’s whole life that night. He’s been walking around my house with that goofy smile all day. I swear he’s on cloud nine and it’s all your fault Barnes. You better not break his heart, I don’t think he could take it. Seriously, don’t break his heart by breaking up with him or getting yourself killed over there. Stay safe or I’m bringing you back just to kill you myself. 

TO: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Re: Happy Birthday!!!
DATE: March 11

Hey Stevie,

Thank you. We can do anything, as long as I’m with you. I’m sure Nat will have some big plans. She always does. Yes, of course we’re official. I’m sorry it took so long for me to say something. I guess I was just worried that you wouldn’t feel the same way, but I’m glad you do. Remind me to talk to Becca, you’d think with her being in freshman year of college she’d grow up a little. I hope she’s helping mom with Frances and Mary. I can’t believe Mary is a sophomore now. Frances is a senior. This can’t be happening. You’re keeping an eye on them, right? No boyfriends? I really can’t handle that right now.

Things here are alright. We were just running drills yesterday. Staying in good ol Wisconsin. I do hope I can do something else soon. But for now it’s here, training and basically that’s it. Maybe I’ll have something more exciting to tell next time.

Talk soon 😀

TO: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Re: YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!!!
DATE: March 11

Tasha, this is why I didn’t tell you. I had to get to the airport this century, not after the time it takes you to freak out and threaten me. Which I think is a crime you know. I promise, I won’t be breaking his heart. I could never hurt him. I think this might be it, Tasha. Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this about anyone before. I mean, we still need to figure things out. Being more than just friends. But I think this might be it. Just us together. It feels right, you know? Take care of him while I’m gone. You know he likes to worry. I don’t want him to worry. 

TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: I miss you!!
DATE: March 14

Okay, I know we just got off the phone. But I miss you, so much. Would you stop talking about camp being boring. I’d rather you have boring than have you deployed. Buck, I don’t know what I’d do if you actually got deployed. Just the thought of you going out into an active zone, I can’t even think about it. Please, please, please, be careful out there. Just, enjoy the boring. It’s better than actually being in the war zone. No it’s not something new. I would feel differently if I could’ve actually joined with you. Stupid asthma. No getting hurt out there.

I’m sure you guys do more than just drink beer and hang out. There has to be things that keep you occupied out there. I’m sure my new job will keep me busy. I know you’re all excited for me, but it’s just a student teaching job. I’m lucky I got a job at all. But it’s for a high school, it’s so weird. I mean those kids were us ten years ago. Or so. It’s crazy how time just flies. You know we still haven’t had our official first date, yet. I was thinking, maybe once I get my first pay I can come for a visit. Would that be okay? I have a bit saved up from last time. I could just come down one weekend and we could spend some time together? Let me know.

Talk later 🙂

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TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Miss you already
DATE: March 22

I know I just left and I’m not even boarded my plane yet. But I miss you. That was an amazing weekend and I’m so happy they let me stay on base with you. Even if they would only let me stay one night because there was no hotels. It was so great. I’ll email you when I land.

Nat is picking me up from the airport, evidently she has a new boyfriend. She said not to tell you, but in reality what are you going to do from an army base? 😅Don’t worry, I’ll get a feel on the guy. Not that Nat needs us to look out for her. She can be scary when she needs to be. But still, she’s our best friend and I got try, right? 

Okay they’re starting to board us. I’ll talk to you later. Love you 😊

TO: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Re: Miss you already
DATE: March 22

Doll, I miss you too. It was nice having you here, but when I tell you the next part you might not want to come back.

Uh, my whole floor heard you. Like, all of it. I did say I think you were being loud. 🫣I’m sorry, but I had to let you know. My whole floor knows exactly what we did, all night. They won’t shut up about it. So maybe next time we stick to a hotel.

So I hope your flight was good. Let me know how this new boyfriend of Nat’s is. Hopefully your new job gets better. They’re just being teenagers. You’ll get their attention. Love you. 😘 

TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: What’s with Steve?
DATE: March 23

What’s up with Steve? I picked him up from the airport with my new boyfriend and he hasn’t said much. He was just as red as a tomato when he checked his phone and nothing. Not even a question or subtle threat to Clint. What happened? 

TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: hi
DATE: March 24

Hi

First off, that’s so embarrassing! 😳What do you mean they heard us? Like all of it? You know what don’t answer that. I don’t wanna know what they know. 

But thanks to you telling me that. I honestly have zero idea how Nat’s boyfriend is. He seems nice. He’s a bit older, I think he’s like a year older than you? And you’re already four years older than me and Nat. So you figure out the math. Honestly I think this is the best boyfriend she’s had yet. I mean not all of them were terrible but she just never seemed so excited about a relationship before. It’s kinda cute actually. 

But, no, next time I visit we are getting a hotel. I’m not showing my face on that base ever again. You couldn’t pay me to go back now. I love you but I’m not seeing your friends again. 

PS. Teenagers are scary! I had to get the vice principal to help me cause they were pelting me with wads of paper. Remind me why I decided on teacher again! Why! 😭

TO: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: RE: What’s with Steve?
DATE: March 24

Okay so nothing really happened. We’re good. He just got a bit embarrassed, don’t ask. 

Who is this Clint? And why have I not gotten a chance to talk to him on one of our very rare calls? Though Steve does sing his praises, I remain skeptical. So share already, Tasha. Who’s Clint? What does he do? Is he good to you? Cause I will kick ass when I come back if he’s not good to you. Tell him that. Seriously, tell him. 

TO: Rebecca Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Don’t think you can run!
DATE: March 25

Becca! You gotta answer the phone when I call. 

You know mom would call me to tell me you skipped classes and now you may fail a class. It’s your freshman year of college and you already want to be pulling shit like this. Don’t think I won’t request a leave to come back and personally walk you to class.

You’re now the oldest one around, Becca. Frances and Mary will look up to you. You gotta start being the big sister, especially since I’m not there. 

So here’s what you’ll do. You’re going in to talk to you professors and ask what you can do to bring your grade up. Pull the my big brother is in the military stress card if you need to. I don’t care if you squirt out some tears. You find a way to get those grades up. Go, today! Or I swear I’m sending Steve to walk you in. I love you. 

TO: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: I love you
DATE: March 28

Stevie,

I tried calling you but I guess you’re busy teaching your class. That’s alright, I’ll call when I can but I just got word. I’m being deployed out in a few hours. I don’t know exactly where I’m going but when I figure out the timezone I’ll let you know. I might not be able to call for a while. 

I did call mom and dad and told them if I couldn’t get ahold of you I’d be sending this email. I love you Steve. I’ll contact you when I can. I gotta go pack now and my flight leaves soon. I love you ❤️

TO: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Check on Steve!
DATE: March 28

Okay, I don’t have much time. I just finished packing. Long story short, I’m getting deployed. I tried calling Steve but he’s probably busy at work. I sent an email but can you check on him for me? I don’t know when I’ll be able to check my email again. Hopefully soon. Bye Tasha, love all you guys.

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TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Are you okay?
DATE: April 3

Buck,

I’ve been trying to call, I don’t even think you’re getting the messages. I’m so sorry I didn’t answer. I was in class. But I don’t know where you are or if you’re even okay. Can you let me know? I don’t know how. Maybe this email is completely useless.  Just please contact me when you can. I love you. ❤️ Please be okay. I’m just going to call your mom to see how they’re doing and how your sisters are doing. 

TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Hopefully you’re safe
DATE: April 5

Buck,

Please answer me. I’m getting so worried. I haven’t heard anything and I’ve been watching the news. Things are looking so bad over there. If that’s where you’re at. Please be okay. I love you ❤️

TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Now I’m really worried!
DATE: April 8

Buck,

I still haven’t heard from you. I don’t know what else to do, so I’m calling a few numbers. I don’t know if anyone’s getting a notice to you. I don’t know where you are, they won’t tell me anything. I’m sort of freaking out here. Please just let me know you’re okay. I love you. ❤️❤️

TO: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
FROM: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Answer me!
DATE: April 10

Steve, I know you’re waiting by your phone and you’re screening calls. But can you answer me? I just wanna know if you’re okay. I know it’s hard but we can’t be too worried. It might take time for Bucky to get emails or messages. Please just let me know if I can come over and we can talk. Grab some dinner. 

TO: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: RE: Answer Me!
DATE: April 10

Fine, come over. 

TO: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: I’m okay!
DATE: April 11

Stevie,

I’m so sorry, it’s been crazy since I got here. We kind of hit the ground running and it’s been very hectic. I’m just finally getting to a computer. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to check my email but that’s the best way to get a hold of me. When things settle down a bit we can schedule a video call. 

The work is hard and it’s a lot of long days in the sun, dealing with the sand in my eyes. I’m starting to agree with Anakin, I hate sand, it’s coarse and gets everywhere. Or whatever it was he said. Watch Star Wars again for me. I’ll live vicariously. I love you too, I’m going to respond when I can but keep the emails coming. 

How’s your job going? How’s Tasha? Is Barton getting ready to run yet? Don’t tell Tasha I said that. Seriously, don’t. 

Anyways, I gotta get going. It was my one day off and I just wanted to let you know I’m okay. I’m heading out on a mission tomorrow so we’ll see how that goes. My convoy is great, the guys are good guys. We might have to team with the air force at some point. We’ll see how things go. Love you, Stevie. I’ll email again soon. 

TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Steve Rogers <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: RE: I’m okay!
DATE: April 11

Buck, you have no idea how happy I was to see your email. I’m so happy you’re safe. Please keep it that way. I’ll start a Star Wars marathon tonight and then a Lord of the Rings marathon. I promise. God, I miss you and I’m so sad that I didn’t get to see you off. How long are you over there? Is this one of the six month deployments? 

My job is going good, I think I finally got the kids under control. The principal hasn’t had to take over yet, so I call that a win. Nat is being Nat. She’s still stubborn and I think Clint is figuring that out. Though I don’t picture him running for the hills yet. If anything I think Nat might be the one breaking his heart in the end. 

I love you so much Buck, please stay safe. Make sure those guys have your back. Talk soon, I’ll be sure to keep you updated. 

TO: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
FROM: James Barnes <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: Hey
DATE: April 11

Tasha, 

Thanks for checking on Steve. Just letting you know I’m good. Just very busy, you would not believe the places sand gets when it’s everywhere. The heat is worse. I take back my vote to take a vacation anywhere tropical. Take me to Canada or the arctic. I’d love the cold right about now. 

How’s Barton? I’m assuming the poor bastard is holding up. You can be a bit of a hardass sometimes. You know I’m right. 

Anyways, bye Tasha, love you guys. I’ll email again soon. 

TO: James Barnes <[email protected]>
FROM: Natasha Romanoff <[email protected]>
SUBJECT: RE: Hey
DATE: April 11

Well it’s about time I hear from you Barnes. I’m glad you’re doing okay, enjoy the heat. We’re still working with spring weather here. I’d kill for some heat. Clint is doing good, you know he can actually handle himself pretty good. He may just make the cut. I saw Becca the other day, she’s doing good. Her grades were back up, she was rushing to the library. I’ll check on her again soon. Steve was going to have dinner with your parents this week, I think. I don’t know, I might join them. We’ll see. Stay safe over there Barnes. We’re getting drinks whenever you get back.