Chapter 1: Red White and American Blue
Notes:
thakns google docs and i hope neither of us go thorugh th eao3 authur cures pleas eon
Chapter Text
CHAPTER 1: The Assisination
Blood. There was blood all over his ear. The helix had been impaled by a bullet from a vile human being. A despicable one. They wanted to make sure Trump suffered for the horrible deeds he had done. He must repent. The demons inside him were clawing at his chest and throat, begging to be released into the world and set free from this horrible cell. He was ushered to the ground. The pain was so excruciating, blood ran down his face, his cheek, and temple flooded with irritation. He was so distraught, his life flashing before his eyes. But he had to comfort the strong American people. He had his fist up in the air, showing defense and resilience. He was terrified, shocked, that someone could even think, let alone execute a sinister plan like this.. But who was it?
CHAPTER TWO: Hunter Biden
Hunter was sitting at the Biden family dtable. Joe was across. He was infuriated. The sweat dripped down his face in fear, how could he fail such an easy task? How could he miss? He needed the man dead after the horrible deed he's done. The drugs, the alcohol, the strippers, the cheating, all of it would be forgiven if he had just killed the man! But he failed, and now had to pay the price. Drawing and quartering. The most painful, excruciating punishment known to man. “Do you know…know what’s gonna happen.. ?” Joe finally broke the awkward silence. It would be done on the Biden golf course. Joe Biden carefully explained the painful abuse he would go through. He would be beaten by Joe’s good old friends with gold golf clubs, then tied to black stallions as they all ran in different directions. Then, the family crocodile would eat the remains. joe buden had finally gotten rid of his most embarrassing son, Hunter Biden, in the most painful, humiliating way possible. Its what he deserved.
CHAPTER THREE: Trump Bisexual Era (hors) Galloping. Hooves on the ground. Trumpt was galloped to the hospital by his most trusted horse, Joseph Pickle IV. The other ones have unfortunately died in shooting practice accidents. Trump's right hand man, Rodrick Heffley, was riding the horse, Trumpet holding on his waist for dear life. They had an office affair, tense looks and intimate touches when they didnt belong had finally caught up to them in between the horse neighing. Trumpmet cried into his shoulder, begging for safety, but Rodrick could only do so much so quickly. Trumpet begged for forgiveness, for someone to finally help him move on through the horribke things he's done. “I’m sorry, Mr. President.” Rodrick huffed, “I can’t give you satisfaction. I can’t say that you don’t deserve this.” Truman was heartbroken. His boytoy was finally standing up to him. Just like Stormy Daniels. Shortly after the crying had stopped, Rosrick pushed him onto the pavement of the Hospital entryway. People dragged him into the Hospital, yelling and rioting for help for their beloved president. Crowds of people. Similar to the events of January 6th. So much so, Trunk started getting flashbacks of said event. ““We want freedom.” They chanted. “We want him home!” Ovjects destoryed, people hirt, Tooth was embarrassed. Nurses, doctors, and everyone in the hospital was getting trampled by this giant crowd. “..Help.. I got shot in the ear.. By some liberal” Trump mustered out. “Some snowflake!” someone in the background shouted. It got so wild that police had to show up at the scene in order to diffuse it. Once the scene calmed down, Truse was rushed into his hospital room.
CHAPTER FOUR: Joe’s BBL
The next day, Joe decided to give Trumpet a little visit at the hospital. “Hi….” he said to the lady at the front desk. She stood there speechless. “It’s Joe Biden…The American President” he continued. “I know who you are..” she said after a while, “But since when did you have a giant ass gyatt?!!” It was volumptius, round, juicy.. Eventually, Joe seduced the front lady with his giant juicy gyatt, and made it to room 420.. currently housed by Donald J. Trump. Knock knock.. Joe knocked at the door. “Come in!” Trump yelled while he was eating a bowl of soggy fruit loops, and watching the news. “Hey… just stopping by to.. to check up on my opposing.. uh.. opposing candidate..” Joe saaid. Trumpoline was surprised. “Joe..” He suddently felt an overwhelming rush of heat rushing to his cheeks. He felt.. peculiar. Affectionate. “Biden..” Trumpophone says finally, “Where did you get that juicy gyatt?” He couldn’t help it. It was the elephant in the room.. Literally. You could see it from the front. “Biden.. I think that someone called you..Turn around..” Trueemp blurted. Joe turned around and suddenly flinched! Troomp had done the unthinkable.. He smacked it. Sound waves were sent out, a 5.8 earthquake occurred, you could hear people screaming in the hallways, “Earthquake!!” Joe whipped his head right around, “How dare you!” he shouts, “You should know I only got this BBL for my loyal wife, Jill!” “Damn.. I didn’t know you were such a snowflake” Trull smirked. Joe rolled his eyes. “Biden..” Trump stroked Joe’s hand, “I never really noticed the sparkle in your eyes” Joe was mesmorized by Trump.. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all… “I don’t know what to say..” he replied. Next thing you know Joe and Biden were making out on top of the hospital bed!!
Chapter 2: Drakes Master Plan
Summary:
Made with Ao3 User: lolashay
Writing started in 2024. Current Sagas:
1. Red White and American Blue - Pre-Election results, July 2024
2. Drakes Master Plan - Pre-Election Results, August 2024
3. Pig Island - Post-Election, September 2025
4. Birds Dont Just Fly (They Fall Down and Get Up) - Post- Election, September 2025Also Posted on Wattpad!!! Wattpad User: girlygirliepop7708
Notes:
will post the tiktak account in one of these chapters soon
tiktokers mentioned in this chapter: @tnickless.tv / @tnicklessmain / @tnickless2
Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Marriage
Today was the day.. The day that the both of them were waiting for, for a longgg time. Tnickles was the pastor. “We are all gathered here today, to honor the spark of love between these two politicians” he began. Many celebrities were in the crowd, including former president Barack Obama, and former first lady Michelle Obama. Even sonic the hedgehog was there too making a special guest appearance! Jill Biden and Melania Trump were there clenching their fists in anger. However, deep down inside of them.. They were happy for Joe and Biden. The ceremony was held in front of the White House, where the LGBTQ+ flag was displayed, along with the American Flag. “Any Objections? If you have any speak now or forever hold your peace” Tnickles spoke. The crowd was dead silent. These two were perfect together.. How could anyone object- “I object!” Yelled Drake. He had Jill Biden and Melanie Trump behind him. The crowd roared and violence ensued. Trump started having a PTSD attack from the riot. Evefyone was agaunst each other.. father verses son… mother vs daughter… brother vs sister Then Hiliary Clinton ascended from the crowd, levitating like Dua Lipa. “STOP FIGHTINGGGG!!!!!!” she croaked, “DO YOU NOT SEE THAT YOU ARE RUINING THIS BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE BETWEEEN THESE OLD MEN!!!!?!” The riot had subsided, it was SILENT. After a while, she sighed. “Very on, continue” she said to Tnickles in a British accent. “You may now kiss the liberal, '' he spoke to Trumppp. Joe and Biden were now officially married!! Triden is real! Everyone was clapping, cheering for this new marriage.. Except for one… Drake HAD to get revenge….
CHAPTER TWO: the before
It was days before the wedding of Joe and Buson. They were still decorating with the help of the bridesmaid, Kamala Harris, and the best man, Nancy Pelosi. However, things took a turn when they started battling, like they were gacha characters! Joe started singing ‘Lily’ by Alan Walker and Emelie Hollow, while Tremp started singing ‘Toy’ by Netta Barziliai. Things took a turn when Nancy Pelosi belted out so hard she fell down and broke her ribcage. Paramedics had to arrive and took her away in the abulannce. Drake arrived to help finish decorating for their wedding as a replacement for Nancy. “Wait a second,” Drake says, “We ran out of streamers!” “You should go look in my headquarters and see if I have any left.” Trump stated. So then Drake walked through the White House into Trumpolina’s headquarters. Truempolina said that they should be a basket under his queen sized bed.. And that’s when he saw it.. All of it. In their disgusting glory, all of the plugs for butts. There were multiple. All of them seemed to have been customized by Trumpet himself, personally. There was one with Nancy Pelosi’s head on it, like a figurine. Another with Obama’s head on it. Kalama Harris, Joe Budon himself (which wasn’t a surprise to Drake, personally). The worst one among all was the one with the red teletube on it. Drake was disgusted! He flinched! And squealed like a girl! He proceeded to shove the basket under the bed and run away. That’s when he ran into the man himself, the owner of all the blutt buggs. Trump smiled and asked; “So.. Did you like what you saw?” Drake threw up on him and ran away as fast as possible. Trump ran after him, “No! My fortnite girlfriend!”
Drake froze. How did he know about that…? How did he know he was sedated on fortnite!!!!! Unless……. TRUMP WAS HIS EDATER BOYFRIEND….?????
CHAPTER 3: betrayal.
“How… how do you know about that?” Drake turned backwards to face Truemp. His face filled with horror but.. Also.. closure. “I am your fornite boyfriend.” he finally said after a long silence. “What.. what about Joe?” Drake asked quietly. “Don’t worry about it” he smirked. Drake couldn’t do it.. I mean, he didn’t really like Joe that much but.. He couldn’t do this to him. “No.. No!” Drake cried, “I thought you loved him! I can’t.. I can’t do this” Drake ran, he ran as far as he could. As he was running he bumped into Joe.. “Hey..” Joe catched him, “Why are you running?” Drake looked at him in horror. “Are.. are you okay?” He asked, “Have you seen Trump at all?” Drake couldn’t help it.. He had to tell him– “Hey” Tree made it behind Joe. “What are ya up to?” he smirked. Drake shivered, “Gotta go!” and then he ran.. Again.
CHAPTER FOUR: the speech
Everyone was dancing to Ava Max. Her songs were blasting on the speaker. Everyone was having a good time. Tnickles even joined for the reception. Eventually it was time for speeches. Firstly Nancy Pelosi made it to the stage in her giant cast. After Nancy Pelosi, a drunken Melanie Trump made a speech. It was a little awkward, and there was some tension… but it was bearable. After many speeches go by Drake made it to the stage, along with his stratigical plan. “I want to start of my speech saying that the love between Mr. Biden and Mr. Treempet is very strong, and this day was beautiful. It was a privilege so to speak that I managed to help decorating for this important day.. I just.. I have a little bone to pick with mr. trooommmpppp.” the crowd went silent out of fear. Drake giggled. “During the unfornatue day of Mrs. Pelosi breaking her ribcage, I was sent to fetch more streamers and decorations.” Trump’s face went white, is he really going to say what I think hes going to? “While doing so..” he looked towards the ground.. “I found some uh.. I found a collection.” he looked right at Truman. He saw it in his eyes, the fear. The same type of fear that Drake had himself when Trump attempted at seducing him. People looked at eachother, at Trump, and even at Bidn.. who was apparently sleeping during the reception because it was past his bedtime. “That.. however,” Drake started, “That’s not the point of what I’m trying to say.” He smirked. “I just wanted to say that even though people might have done some vile, horrible things.. It doesn’t exactly make them a bad person.” Drake had his hand behind him rubbing the button he was about to press. “I just want to say how beautiful this night was, and still is” the crowd looked at Drake in fear. What is going on? “I want it to go out like a BANG-!” and thats when it happened. He pushed the button. Trumpomania exploded into pieces of burnt chicken and human flesh. Everyone screamed!! How could this happen!! Chaos emerged, Trump supporters began rioting, screaming, shouting! “How could you do this to our president!!!!” They yelled. Even some police officers showed up, but not to diffuse the scene, to arrest Tnickles. Drake giggled, cackled, and screamed “LONG LIVE TRIDENt!!”
Chapter 3: Pig Island
Summary:
Made with Ao3 User: lolashay
Writing started in 2024. Current Sagas:
1. Red White and American Blue - Pre-Election results, July 2024
2. Drakes Master Plan - Pre-Election Results, August 2024
3. Pig Island - Post-Election, September 2025
4. Birds Dont Just Fly (They Fall Down and Get Up) - Post- Election, September 2025Also Posted on Wattpad!!! Wattpad User: girlygirliepop7708
Notes:
fanfic tiktok page:2ndtermfanfiction
follow we will post tiktoks about it soon
tiktokers referenced: joey morof @ notthekombuchaman
Chapter Text
Chapter 5: the ending once and for all..
“What are we gonna do!!?!!?” Trumps yells. Joe still can’t hear him.
“WHAT??????” he yells back in confusion.
All of a sudden, the sky turns white, angels are singing, an angelic voice can be heard. The mega pig looks in confusion and in hurt.. Who is this???
“ONCE THERE WAS A WAYYYYYYYyyyYYYyyyYYYYYYYYyYYYyyyyYy”
Wait.. could that be?
“TO GET BACK HOMEWARDdsdDdDDDDDDDDDDD”
Oh my god… it’s the guy.. The guy from tik tok who impersonates Hugh Jackman’s singing!!!
“ONCE THERE WAS A WAYYyYyYYyYYYY”
“TO BRING HIM HOOOOMMMEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEE”
And jus like that.. It was working, the pig was falling down.. It’s like he was the pigs kryptonite.
“WWE HAVE TO GET BACK” Deadpool shows up out of nowhere, by himself, without Wolverine, “PIGS ARE STORMING THE WHITE HOUSE!” he screams!
“WHAT??!!” both Trump and Biden yell back out of pure shock.
Back in Washington, Drake executes his major plan of taking over America by sneaking into the whitehouse. “Finally! After all these years!!!!” he smiles.
Good thing there’s no one to stop him WAIT OH MY OGGOD!!!!!! PIGS ARE EVERYWHERE STORMING THE CAPITAL – ITS A BLOOD BATH! Drake runs as fast as he can, escaping the pigs until he trips on a maga hat on the ground. He is then crushed by the stampede of pigs. All of a sudden, a portal appears, all the other deadpool variants show up! (even a new one called Drakepool) To defend the white house!
“Why are there so many!?” one deadpool yells. This is war. A war against the pigs and the deadpools.
“Oh no..” deadpool (the main one) sighs, “what have i done!!”
Deadpool, Donald, and Trump made it back to the white house.. Finally. But at this time, there were barely anyone remaining. Pigs were down, deadpools were down, all American citizens evacuated. The district echoed in silence. “What did you do!?” Biden screams at Deadpool. “It’s my fault,” Deadpool backs up, covering his face with his hands, “Sleepy Jope!!” he cried, “I killed Sleepy Jope!!!” Acceptance. Deadpool made it to the 5th stage of grief. He was the one who started this all.. By killing poor innocent sleepy jope.
“How could you?...” Wolverine shows up.
“Logan!!!” deadpool cries, “You’re back!”
Wolverine backs up, “Did you kill sleepy jope?”
Deadpool is in shock, he looks at Wolverine with desperation in his eyes.
“I..”
“Did. You kill. Sleepy Jope?” he asks again for one final time.
Wolverine transformed back into Kamala Harris, Vice President of America.
“Kamala!” Joe runs to Kamala Harris. Trump rolls his eyes. “We did it Joe..” Kamala smiled. This was it. This is what peace felt like. Back at the white house. Back to how it was before.. Before Drake ruined it all.
lolashay on Chapter 1 Sat 13 Sep 2025 11:10PM UTC
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amanda (Guest) on Chapter 1 Tue 16 Sep 2025 04:03AM UTC
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dontevertellme on Chapter 2 Sun 14 Sep 2025 12:35PM UTC
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