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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-09-14
Words:
636
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
14
Kudos:
11
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1
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62

Because everything begins from there.

Summary:

Based on the tiktok from @squid.star_
(go check them out)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Pencil sat in the dark club house. Just her, and her thoughts.

Just her, and her regrets.

Just her and every little mistake she made, eating away until it was satisfied. 

But it was never satisfied. Much like Pencil. Pencil could never be satisfied, could she? She needed another alliance...she needed it to be like BFDIA...she should be grateful for just not being in the EXIT, but here she is, still not satisfied. And now, she has nothing.

This is where she belonged. Alone.

Outside in the hotel, inside the clubhouse, it didn't matter. She was always alone.

She would always be alone. An unsatisfied, ungrateful, nostalgic brat. A lonely, poor excuse of a contestant. Poor excuse of an object. Poor excuse of a leader- of anything.

Pencil deserved to be alone.

She deserved to grieve alone.

She deserved to die alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pencil doesn't want to die alone.

She doesn't want to die alone.

She just doesn't want to.

She wants to hear the laughter of a happy alliance. A happy group of friends.

She wants to watch Ruby's frown dissipate at the simplest and silliest of words. 

She wants to watch Bubble grow into her own person, stand up for herself.

She wants to watch Match do the growth she knows she never could.

Never will.

She wants to be there when Icy Ice Cube finally does get revenge.

She wants to be able to see the new and independent Needle.

She wants to see Book...

She wishes she could have the privilege of being friends with a person like Book again. The Book who knows her boundaries...knows others...who learned from her mistakes, who comforts others when they make them.

Pencil could feel tears welling up. If just once, she let herself close her eyes...

"I hate you."

The words replayed in her head. Over and over. Like a cruel and uncaring lullaby. It stung, but it was Book. It was Book's voice. It was the last thing she had of her. 

"I hated you. I resented you."

No, no. Please. Please don't do this to her.

"I had to keep moving forwards in every moment. You were my one and only weakness."

Why. Why did she have to do this.

"I had resented you so much. I had hated you."

Her voice rang with such priority in her head. Pencil could feel her presence, Book's arms around her.

"Pencil...live with love." her voice trailed off. Sounded shaky almost.

 

"Embrace your frailty, your pain, your faults...the moments so unbearably shameful. They make you, you." 

But 'Pencil' wasn't a good person to be, was she? She wasn't...please say she wasn't.

"And there's nothing wrong with you." Pencil wanted to punch to floor. Damnit.

"So please..." Book wrapped her hands around Pencil's, holding them up just slightly. Her voice was almost pleading. "Forgive yourself..."

"Again, and again, endlessly. Until you really do,"

Book gave her smile. A genuine smile.

"Because everything...begins from there."

 

Pencil moved one arm from being wrapped around her legs, moving it to wipe the tears from her eyes as she finally opened them. She was once again consumed by the darkness of the clubhouse.

The only silhouette to find in the structure being hers.

She stared at the tile on the floor, her reflection staring back.

She tried and tried to close her eyes again, but it never worked. She could never see it again, Freesmart.

She could never see Book.

She could never hear the novel's raspy, softened voice.

Just a dull delusion. A selfish desire.

Live with love.

She repeated, breath shaky. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, almost overwhelmingly loud.

Where it all began was far gone...

Everyone she knew was far gone, and she would never get them back.

 

 

 

 

Notes:

It's based on the tiktok I don't know anything abt Alien Stage (where it's from I think)
I should really look into it tho

ANYWAYS I should rlly work on demented 😁