Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dazai and Chuuya stood in Chuuya’s apartment, contemplating what they should do.
They had just been given an important mission that they couldn’t afford to mess up. The mission was that they would have to travel to Musutafu and invade a school. Not just any school, but the ‘famously’ known hero school. The two would have to gain the trust of the students and staff, obtain information about the so called heroes, find weaknesses of quirks, and act like normal teenagers who definitely don’t have a crime list.

The problem was, this school had a ton of security measures, and didn’t take shit from anybody. If you seem suspicious, then you’re suspicious. Even worse, they called people who didn’t fit ‘hero’ standards villains. The two thought that it was completely unfair and outright wrong.

‘So they just call whoever they think is weird a bad person? What the fuck?’ Chuuya had thought when he first heard that. Now they were at Chuuya’s place, packing. The didn’t have a lot of things, so it was pretty easy.

“Hey Dazai, have you gotten your period this month yet?” Chuuya asked.
Dazai visibly froze up, realizing that he would have to suffer it at an unknown place. Even worse, with a bunch of kids who he didn’t want them finding out about him. After about a minute, Dazai shook his head slowly and Chuuya’s eyes widened just slightly.

“Alright then, I’ll go grab some things, and while you’re at it, pack some of your clothes. We’re getting school uniforms but no one said anything about after school clothes.”

Chuuya got up and left the room while Dazai still sat there, staring down at the floor. He still gets shocked when Chuuya genuinely seems to care about him. He was rarely shown affection, especially by someone who says they hates him. He could hear Chuuya moving around in the bathroom, probably looking for pads. Dazai was surprisingly picky about it. He only likes a specific kind, so it was pretty hard to find the exact ones.
Although Chuuya didn’t get periods, (due to the experimentation done on him) he always manages to have all the right supplies. Perhaps it was because he was trained under a girl, or perhaps that he helped some of the younger girls in the Sheep, but nonetheless, it was nice.
Chuuya would also help Dazai with his bandages, since he could never tie them correctly. Chuuya also helped Dazai a lot. When he was too scared to tell anyone what was wrong, he would go to Chuuya. Whenever he just didn’t want to live anymore, there he was, at Chuuya’s doorstep. He trusted Chuuya with his entire being, and he hoped that they would stay together forever.

Dazai sighed. ‘That’s stupid. No one would be able to be with you for that long. He’s only nice to you because he pities you.’ Dazai shook his head, trying to get the thought out of his head. ‘Maybe he only likes me because we’re both little trans freaks. Maybe he doesn’t even like me, just pretendin-‘

His thought was interrupted by Chuuya shaking him lightly.
“Oh, I thought you had actually blacked out. Anyways, I have all of my stuff packed, and our shared stuff. Go pack yours.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, but we only have a couple hours before we have to leave so I would suggest start packing now.”

“Okay.”

Then, Chuuya got up and left to room. Probably to go clean up so that he wouldn’t have to when he came back. Dazai could feel his face getting hotter at the thought of Chuuya.
‘Do I…like him? No, I’m the Demon Prodigy, I can’t like people. But, he actually cares for me instead of just acting like it. Fuck. I think I do like him. He probably doesn’t feel the same way… I’ll just have to act..normal..around him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I can’t act normal! My face goes all red whenever he’s around me! I. I think I have a…crush..on him. On my best friend. On the person who I trust most. On him, of all people.’

Dazai decided to ignore the thought and just start packing. Be didn’t have a lot of clothes, so he was done pretty quick. He sat there, on the floor of Chuuya’s bedroom, just thinking of how he could let this happen.

Chapter Text

The two stood outside for what felt like forever. It had started to rain a bit after a few minutes, not enough to cause major damage, but enough to make you wish you were inside.

Finally, a car pulled up. It was black, probably to blend in with the darkness, and there was a driver who told them to hop into the backseat. They only had three backpacks, so it was easy to get situated in the car. The two had insisted on driving to Musutafu instead of flying because neither of them liked flying and Dazai had never been in a plane before. The car ride was longer, but at least they wouldn’t have to deal with headaches it would cause due to the altitude.

The car ride was about a few hours, so not that bad. Though, it was about 1 AM so they wouldn’t get there around 4 or 5 AM.

Chuuya sat on the right side, and Dazai on the left. Chuuya was staring out the window, probably wishing he’d slept a few more hours. On average, he would sleep for about 4-5 hours due to the fact that he just couldn’t sleep. He also can’t dream, so that might also add to it.

On the other side, Dazai was staring down at his arms, probably wondering if he tied to bandages right. He usually made them to loose and he really didn’t want strangers seeing what he’s done to himself. It started to rain a little more, and the car started to drive away.

Dazai look away from his arms and looked towards Chuuya, who managed to fall asleep. Dazai looked the other direction, to his window. It was too dark to see anything except for the lights that were blurring past them. He already wanted to go back. He didn’t get why this was so important but it was an order directly from Mori so it must be top secret. At least he wasn’t doing it alone. If he were, he would’ve killed himself as soon as he got there.

Surprisingly enough, Dazai actually enjoyed Chuuya’s company. Chuuya managed to memorize the few things he ate and can immediately tell if something was bothering him. Even if Dazai said he hated Chuuya. Even if he said that he would rather die than be with Chuuya. He never ment it. Sure, Chuuya would sometimes get on Dazai’s nerves but he wouldn’t actually mean the cruel things he’s said to him. Chuuya was actually very dear to Dazai, but he didn’t know how to show affection. Neither of them did. They weren’t shown love as far as their memories went. Though they have completely different backgrounds, one thing was for sure. They both didn’t know how to portray emotions correctly. Dazai had turned all of his suffering, pain, and anger into silence and built a wall around himself. Nobody knew what he was actually feeling like, and he wanted to keep it that way. Chuuya on the other hand, refused to let people see his weak side. Built up an entire fake personality and turned all of that pain into loyalty. He made this fake personality full of itself, thinking that it was the best. He did this in order to keep people from getting past the walls he made. They both hated being pitied. They both didn’t want people finding out about how they actually are. The only thing is, that they both know each other’s actual feelings.

Chapter Text

About an hour had passed. Dazai felt something tapping his shoulder. He opened his dark, soulless eyes to she Chuuya with his hand hovering over Dazai’s shoulder. Chuuya pulled his arm back and stared at Dazai. Dazai stared back. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Dazai came to the realization that he had let himself sleep. He was supposed to stay awake so that he could see if there were any complications or problems to deal with. Dazai stared down and Chuuya turned his head back around to his window.

Dazai knew that he had to stay awake. He knew how much that would cost them. And worst of all, he’d left himself vulnerable. He wouldn’t be able to fight if he was unconscious.

He wanted to just disappear into a hole right then and there.

Chapter Text

Chuuya stared out the car window. He had just woken Dazai up, which was probably a bad idea based on his reaction. It was clear that Dazai was just as uncomfortable as himself. Chuuya was wondering how of all places, he managed to fall asleep in a car.

He could feel tightness in his chest, but he decided to ignore it. Things would only get worse if he brought attention to it. He had forgotten about the binder he was wearing when they had left. Chuuya had it on all day the fact that he shouldn’t have been wearing it at this time was worse. He was most definitely going to pay for that once they got there.

He was hoping that he wouldn’t have to go to a hospital at all during this mission. He and Dazai were both terrified of hospitals, doctors, needles, the whole thing. They were both scared of them for different reasons, but they still collectively hated on them.

Even though almost a year passed after the incident with Verlaine and the whole experiment thing, Chuuya still got nightmares from that day. Even though he can’t even dream. It haunts him. All the bodies, the clone, the needles being stabbed into him, Dr. N’s face, the tubes. Chuuya shuddered at the resurfacing thoughts and closed his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, if he tried hard enough, the thoughts would go away. But they didn’t. And they never will.

Chapter Text

The silence seemed to stretch on for what felt like days. The only thing that you could was the sound of breathing, and occasionally, the sound of the car engine humming. Chuuya held his backpack tightly to his chest, not wanting a single thing to end up falling out. He had put a few photos in it, like one that Lippman had insisted on taking with him and the other Flag members. Chuuya didn’t smile in that one and got a lecture afterward about how he could at least seem happy with them. Chuuya ignored the entire lecture because he really didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Chuuya could feel tears start to form at the corners of his eyes, but he quickly pushed them back. He didn’t want to cry. Especially not in front of Dazai, or even the driver. He didn’t even want to cry around himself.

Across the back seat, Dazai continued to stare down at himself. He had brought his legs up onto the seat and he was now sitting with his legs crossed along the seat. Despite being told way too many times that he should keep his feet on the car floor, he never listened. Even though he kept getting told how dangerous it was, he never stopped. He didn’t care if something was dangerous or not. Danger was just another thing people worry about, and another thing that he didn’t care for. Dazai continued to stare down, his dark, emotionless, void-like eyes just looking. He hated the way he was. He hated how little emotion he felt. He hated that while other children were playing, having fun, he was alone. Or at least, he felt like it. He wasn’t actually alone, he just felt that way. No one could understand what he felt. No one could understand him. He always knew something was wrong with him, but he never knew what exactly. Despite being so called “healthy”, he still felt like he wasn’t connected to the living world. He would pray to non-existent forces, thinking they would save him. He never got saved. Things only got worse. He’d given up on the idea of gods long ago. He had never felt real. Like his life was just something being controlled by another, bigger thing. Like his life was all just some made-up thing being manipulated by a storyteller. Like there wasn’t any purpose for him to exist. There wasn’t a value to his life. He told that to himself everyday. He had no reason to keep on living. And yet, every time that he would try to take away his meaningless life, he always managed to survive. It only caused him more pain.

Chapter Text

After about another hour or so of uncomfortable silence, they finally got to the school. The car pulled up to a stop and both Dazai and Chuuya took in the building’s look. Chuuya pulled out his phone and flipped it open. The time said ‘4:52’.

Chuuya sighed. ’It’s way too early to be dealing with this.’ He thought.

The two sat there in the car’s backseat for a few minutes, waiting for a sign that they could get out of the car. There were only a few passing cars that quickly flew past them.

Eventually, a few tall looking people stepped out of the entrance to the building. The two boys assumed that they were faculty members, or staff members.

One of the members, a tall man with long, unkempt black hair and a weird gray scarf around his neck made a hand motion toward them, as if telling them that the could get out. Dazai put his hand on the door handle snd slowly pushed it open. He stood up outside, in between the car door barely cracked open and the interior of the car. He looked back at his backpack and snatched it, pulling it close to his chest with one arm, the other arm holding the door open. The brunette looked back to the opposite car seat, which lay empty. Dazai concluded that Chuuya had already gotten out, and took his bag and the shared one already. Dazai got out of the gap, and stepped to the side to close the car door. He stared up at the figures on the stair steps. The man who motioned them to get out was wearing a loose, plain black long-sleeve shirt with baggy, black pants. He had a dark gray belt and black combat boots.

Dazai looked to his left, and saw that Chuuya was now next to him. The ginger was avoiding all eye contact, and most definitely seemed to rather be anywhere but here. Which to be fair, Dazai also so badly wanted to leave. He could practically feel the tension between the staff members and the two boys.

Chapter Text

Chuuya held his breath, waiting for someone to say something, anything. After seconds that felt like hours, one of the staff spoke up, cutting through the silence.

“So, you two must be the students who wanted to enroll here, right?” It was the teacher with the messy black hair. His tone was sharp, almost annoyed at the two. He had an unreadable expression. Annoyance? Disappointment? Anger? Chuuya couldn’t tell. The teacher had a somewhat boring outfit, plain black shirt and pants, gray scarf that kind of resembled tape, black combat boots, and a scar under one of his eyes. Chuuya could immediately tell it was a scar because he knows what they look like. He has scars for fucks sake.

“Huh? Oh yeah. Yes, that’s us.” Dazai’s voice was cold, like how he usually is. Chuuya got snapped back into reality as soon as Dazai started speaking. He nodded his head in agreement to what the brunette had just said.

“I see. Well, if you could follow us inside, then we could discuss the details of you two being here.” The teacher who originally spoke responded.

Chuuya then noticed that the other staff members had left, except for the tall one and one that looked to be an…animal? They had the body of an animal, but also had human features as well. They were standing up on their back two legs and had a suit on. A scar ran vertically down their right eye (left if you’re facing directly at them). They looked like a type of rat, or weasel, hell, or even a rodent. Chuuya couldn’t tell what type of animal they were, but it was clear that they were in charge.

The staff members turned around and started walking back up the stairs, and the two followed them. The car and driver were long gone, so it was just the ginger and brunette with two staff members who don’t know them.

Chapter Text

The four of them entered the building. Black haired and rat person were walking ahead, while the brunette and ginger trailed behind. The place was big. Giant even. There were bright, fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling all around the building. Most of the walls were painted white, pretty standard and boring. There weren’t a lot of people there, and the ones that were there were probably staff. There seemed to be no students around, probably because it was like 5 AM.

“This place is really bright.” Dazai whispered, most likely meant to think it, but accidentally said it out loud. He caught himself immediately and went silent, glancing around to see if anyone heard him. Nobody did, which Dazai sighed from relief. Quietly, obviously.

After a bit of walking, they had stopped in front of a door, that appeared to lead to an office. The rat person said something to the black haired man, and the black haired left. The rat person opened the door and gestured to the two boys to enter. They walked in and the rat closed the door behind them.

The room was, indeed, an office. There was a desk with paperwork spread out, a laptop, and a coffee mug halfway filled. There was a chair behind it, a tall chair at that. The rat went and sat in the chair and told the two to take a seat. There were two metal folding chairs at the foot of the desk, and while the chairs seemed new, the two still couldn’t trust it. But nonetheless, they sat down, Dazai at the left, and Chuuya at the right. If you payed enough attention to the two, you would be able to see a pattern. Chuuya was almost always at Dazai’s right, and while it may seem insignificant, the right side was Dazai’s blind spot. Where the bandages over one of his eyes were. Chuuya knew this blind spot, and knew that Dazai couldn’t see out of the bandages. It was just completely covered. Nobody really knew the reason as to way he does this, but it’s not like it’s that important.

“Hello you two, and welcome to U.A. High! Let’s introduce ourselves, shall we? My name’s Nezu, and I am the principal here. Let’s start with you.” Nezu pointed a Dazai. “What is your name and is there any additional information about you that you feel like teachers should know?”

“Uhh, my name’s Dazai. Dazai Osamu. And I like,” He paused, thinking. “I guess I like cats? I’ve never really seen one before.” He gave a smile, but it was obviously fake. A practiced, forced smile that seemed genuine, but really wasn’t.

“I see, and do you have any questions? Maybe about the school or one of its staff members?” Nezu asked.

“I do actually have a question. And it’s for you, Nezu-san.”

“Well then, let’s hear it.”

“What are you? Because you look like a rat, but you talk and act like a human being. Why is that?” Dazai asked, giving Nezu that soulless stare and smile.

“Well, I am indeed an animal, but I do not know what animal I am supposed to be. My quirk allows me to have a very high intelligence, which ultimately caused me to start acting like a human. Does that answer your question?”

“Yes it does. Thank you Nezu-san.”

“Also, while on the topic quirks, what are your quirks?” Nezu was talking to both of them now, not just Dazai.

“My quirk is called ‘No Longer Human’. It allows me to nullify the ab-quirk of anyone’s just by a simple touch. It could be a nudge, and boom. Their quirk stops working, but only for a limited amount of time, or if it isn’t enough time and I get pushed off. I can also nullify the quirks used on objects in the same manner.” Dazai replied, throwing out just about every detail.

“I see, and you?” Nezu pointed at Chuuya.

“Oh! Mine’s called ‘Upon the Tainted Sorrow’.  It basically allows me to manipulate the gravity of anything I touch. I’m also able to manipulate my own body weight.”

“That’s cool. Now, tell me your name and if there’s anything you want to share about yourself.” Nezu said, still staring at Chuuya.

Chuuya stayed silent for a few seconds.

“Well, my name’s Chuuya. My surname is irrelevant for multiple reasons. And if you want something that your staff members want to know is that I don’t, and never will, let people see my body. Also, the gloves must stay on for..reasons.”

“Ah. Okay then. I guess I’ll tell you something important that you are not allowed to say to anyone, got it?”

The two nodded.

“Alright. So, under normal circumstances, people are only allowed to enter U.A. if they qualify and get through what we call here an ‘entrance exam’. The entrance exam has two parts, a written test, and a physical exam. This entrance exam only takes place before the school year starts. And you two didn’t have to take this exam. Any guesses to why?”

“It’s because Mori-san pulled strings and got up here, correct?” Dazai answered immediately.

“That’s correct. I’m surprised. How did you know?”

“It’s simple, actually. It’s clear that Mori managed to get us here, partly because he’s really bad at lying, and partly because you said “under normal circumstances”. Which indicated that we were a different case.” Dazai replied calmly, as if he were explaining this to a child.

“Wow. You’re pretty smart Dazai-kun. I didn’t think you guys would actually get it, but it appears i’ve been wronged.” Nezu actually seemed genuine, which made it even worse.

“Anyways, you’ll be given the weekend to prepare. You should’ve gotten your uniforms already, so you should be set. Though, you should get an apartment within walking distance of the school.” Nezu suggested.

“Will do Nezu-san!” Dazai exclaimed quietly.

“Oh! And one more thing before you two go.”

“Hmm? What is it?” Chuuya asked.

Nezu smiled and said

“I know you two are from the Port Mafia. You two live in Yokohama, correct? The city filled with criminals.” The two’s expressions stayed the same. “But don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell anyone about this. I know that this is just for a mission, a mission to gather information on us. That’s why you’re here, you’re not actually interested in becoming heroes, isn’t that right?”

“That’s correct.” Dazai said blankly.

“It’s not that shocking that you know, saying that there is a camera recording right behind us. You hid it so badly, you might want to work on that.” Chuuya said unfazed.

“Well, you caught me. Nobody is able to see the recordings unless you have that specific camera, but I’m shocked you managed to actually find it.” Nezu replied calmly.

“You said a key detail that indicated you already knew,” Dazai said. “And that was that you mentioned talking to Mori. You couldn’t have possibly gotten his personal number, so you had to contact the Port Mafia headquarters.”

“That’s right, I had to call the headquarters.”

“Also, you called Yokohama ‘the city filled with criminals’. I hate to break it to you principal, but your so called criminals actually keep the city in check. We, the Port Mafia, keep the city, along with it’s residents, safe. So, I don’t appreciate you calling our beloved city crime ridden. The only reason it’s sealed off is because we don’t you ‘heroes’ coming in and ruining our way of rule.” Dazai continued, actually seeming a little mad.

“Well-“ Nezu started.

“I’m not done.” Dazai cut Nezu off. “You guys call yourselves heroes, yet you discriminate against people who seem weird. Most of your villains were once good people, but they weren’t lead through the right path. You heroes ignored them solely based on appearance. That ultimately caused them to hate heroes, feeling the need to get rid of all heroes. That does sound fair, does it? Your standards are way too high, and just because someone’s power is rendered ‘villainous’ or ‘dangerous’ doesn’t make them a bad person. Your selfish behavior does. You don’t save them because you’re too busy saving those who you think are worthy of saving. You heroes are actually selfish, only thinking about yourselves. That isn’t what heroes are supposed to be like. You’re right, the only reason we’re hear is to gather information. We have no interest in becoming heroes if all you guys do is save yourselves. I would rather die a Port Mafia member than be involved in your little hero act.” Dazai was now definitely mad.

Dazai grabbed his back and stood up out of the chair. He started walking towards the door, and Chuuya quickly followed him.

Chapter Text

Chuuya closed the office door and practically sprinted towards Dazai.

Dazai had stormed off, but Chuuya didn’t know why. It all seemed pretty stupid if you were to ask him. The principal of the school knew they were with the mafia, had recorded them without consent, insulted their home, and still had the nerve to say that they were okay with the two being at the school.

Chuuya finally caught up to Dazai.

“Dude, what the hell are you doing!? What are you getting so worked up about??” Chuuya whispered to the brunette urgently, the ginger trying to get an answer out of him.

Dazai didn’t answer, but instead avoided eye contact, with the same emotionless stare.

They eventually got outside of the building and Dazai kept walking until he ducked into a nearby alleyway, Chuuya following him.

“Will you just tell me what’s going on? What is with you Dazai!?”

“…”

The brunette yet again didn’t answer. He took out his phone and called someone. Chuuya didn’t know who or why Dazai was calling.

————-Dazai POV of phone call————-

“Hello?” A voice answered.

Dazai walked farther down the alleyway to a dark corner.

“Hey, Mori-san. It’s me, Dazai.”

”Ah yes, Dazai-kun. What brings you to call me at this time?”

“You know it isn’t that early, and besides, you’re always at the building by at least 3AM.” Dazai replied coldly, unfazed by the question.

”Well, I suppose that is true. Anyways, answer my previous question. Why are you calling me?”

Dazai sighed, ‘Always so straightforward.’ Dazai thought to himself.

“I need to know what our living situation would be for this mission. We just talked with the principal, and they suggested that we get an apartment near the school. You wouldn’t happen to have figured something out about that, have you?”

The voice on the other end chuckled quietly before answering.

“Why yes, I do have a plan for that. You both will share an apartment walking distance from the school, and I’ve already got it sorted out so I’ll just text you the address.”

“Alright, will do Mori-san. Thanks I guess.”

”No problem Dazai-kun. After all, I am the one in charge of this mission.” 

“Okay, bye.” Dazai flipped his phone closed before the opposing end could say anything.

Dazai walked back to where the ginger was waiting for him. Chuuya had his eyes closed as he leaned against the brick wall.

“Alright, Mori-san got us an apartment, but the bas news is we have to share. I have the address so we’ll just walk there.” Dazai told Chuuya in his flat, neutral tone he always used.

The ginger opened his eyes and looked at the other.

“Okay, let’s get going. What’s the address?”

Dazai pulled out his phone, flipped it open, and read the next message.

“It says ours is number 45 on the fourth floor. The apartment complex is the ‘Addison Apartments’ about two blocks from the school.”

“Alright, that’s not that bad,” The ginger whispered to himself. “We should get going.”

Dazai nodded at Chuuya’s statement, and the two started walking.

Chapter Text

The two started to walk in the direction of the address given to them.

“So, how are we going to do this?” Chuuya asked.

“Do what?” Dazai replied blankly.

“I mean the mission. How are we going to do this with the principal and possibly some teachers knowing that we’re in the mafia? They’re obviously going to keep a close eye on us to make sure we don’t do anything bad, but we’re here to get secret information. That’s exactly what they’re watching us for.”

“Hmm…you do make a good point. This will be extremely difficult to do if they watch us. But, we could gain the trust of the students and get them to tell us some things. Or, I could just torture it out of the staff and students.”

“I don’t think torturing them would get us far. Especially since there are high security measures at the school.”

“Well, that would be like a last resort for us if nothing else works.” The brunette said. Chuuya nodded and the two kept walking.

“Well,” Chuuya started, “We could just always act like normal kids, and make the teachers think the principal was crazy and was lying about us.”

“Wait. That could actually work,” Dazai replied. “So first, we’ll gain the trust of the students and get some information out of them. Then, we’ll act normal and get the teachers to trust us. And, if those don’t work, then I’ll just torture the information out of them.”

Chuuya nodded and said,

“Alright, that’s the plan. I’m pretty sure gaining the trust of the students will be easy. As far as the files we were given, all we have to do is create a convincing lie and they would trust us. Those students don’t look into things that seem personal.”

“That’s correct. If we make such a sad background, they won’t get suspicious. But instead they would probably try and make us happy. Which means we would probably get pitied by a bunch of kids our age.” Dazai looked disgusted at the idea. He hated getting pitied more than Mori, and he hates Mori a lot.

“That’s stupid. We should discuss our ‘backstory’ when we get to the apartment to not risk anyone hearing us. We should also learn more about the school so that we’re not that clueless about it.” Chuuya suggested and Dazai nodded in agreement.

“Alright, it should be two buildings down on the right.” Dazai said, talking about the apartment complex.

And just like the brunette said, the apartments were now at the right of the two.

They turned to face the tall building. It looked more like a hotel than an apartment complex, most lights turned off due to the early hour. There were two glass doors at the entrance with a reception desk beyond the doors. There appeared to be a single person behind the desk, most likely the receptionist. There were a few couches and chairs around the desk, so that was probably the lobby.

Chuuya glanced up at Dazai, who glanced down at Chuuya at the same time. They both agreed internally to start walking towards the entrance, so they did.

Chapter Text

The two entered the building lobby and the person at the reception desk looked up at them.

The person behind the desk was a woman, tall with dark, brown hair and dark blue at the ends. Her hair was just below shoulder length and she wore  a standard uniform, just with a black necklace around her neck.

“Hello! How can I help you?” The woman said in an obvious fake happy tone.

“We have an apartment that should be under the name Ōgai Mori. Everything should already be paid.” Dazai responded to the woman.

“Alright,” the woman said, typing on the computer next to her. “Yep! There is an apartment under that name, C-45. I assume you want the room key?”

“Yes, we would like the key.” Dazai replied.

It was just then that Chuuya noticed the tired expression the woman tried to mask. There were dark purple bags under eyes that were poorly hidden with makeup. Her excitement was fake and most likely forced. She looked like she hadn’t slept well in days, and the fact that she was here this early in the morning was surprising. She might have possibly worked the night shift and now the day shift.

“Thank you, have a nice day.” Dazai’s voiced had snapped the ginger back into reality.

The taller glanced down at Chuuya, and started to walk away. Chuuya followed.

———They’re at the apartment door———

Dazai used the key the woman had given him and opened the door.

The apartment itself wasn’t that bad. It definitely wasn’t in the best condition, but it was better than they were expecting. The apartment had pale walls, with little decoration. There was the living room straight ahead, with the kitchen to the right of the doorway.

The two stepped in and Dazai closed the door behind them.

There was a hallway behind the kitchen and led further down the right.

“Hey, Dazai, do you think we should see what that hallway leads to?” Chuuya almost whispered.

Dazai nodded and the two walked towards the hallway.

It was dimly lit, with two doors on either side. The hallway ended shortly after the doors. Chuuya stepped forward and opened the door on the right.

The room was small, a bed on the far left side was in the middle of the wall, but it was right up against it. There was a small closet/wardrobe against the wall the door was on. The walls were still that pale color, with the same hardwood floors. There was a light switch to the left of Chuuya on the wall, that would light up the room. Chuuya didn’t turn it on, though, but instead turned to Dazai.

“I guess that door,” the ginger gestured his hand behind them. “Would be the bathroom. And this is the bedroom. Which would mean we’re gonna have to share the bed, unless someone wants to sleep on the couch.”

“Wait, we’re going to have to share the bed!?” Dazai said, not fond of the idea.

Chuuya nodded, he wasn’t fond of the idea either. But they have to do this mission, or else something bad would definitely happen to Yokohama.

Dazai sighed and entered the room, turning the lights on. He sat down on the bed and put the apartment key somewhere in his pocket. Chuuya followed him in the bedroom and closed the door. He walked over to the brunette and sat down on the bed next to him.

They sat in silence before Chuuya broke that silence.

“You know, I could always take the couch if you’re uncomfortable with sharing the bed.”

Dazai blinked at the shorter one. Chuuya was avoiding the taller’s gaze.

“I really don’t care, as long as nothing weird happens then I’m fine with it.” Dazai replied.

“Unless,” Dazai continued. “You’re uncomfortable sharing a bed with me.”

“Huh? Oh, I don’t mind it. I rarely sleep anyways.” Chuuya’s eyes widened as he just realized what he said.

‘Shit.’The ginger thought. ‘I wasn’t supposed to say that much.’

Dazai tilted his head a little before saying,

“What do you mean? You don’t actually sleep at night?”

“Just forget what I said.” Chuuya muttered.

The ginger put their shared backpack down on the bed, got up, and walked out of the bedroom with his personal backpack.

Dazai sat there on the bed, watching the other leave the room.

‘What does he mean by “I rarely sleep anyways.”? I know he doesn’t remember his dreams, but.’ Just then, Dazai realized something big. ‘Oh. Fuck. I completely missed all the signs. I should’ve payed more attention.’ Chuuya always seemed tired. Looking like he’d only get a few hours of sleep every night. The constant yawning muffled by his hand. The closing his eyes for way longer than a blink during the day. Eye begs started forming under his eyes, but he’d always put makeup over them.

‘I should’ve noticed sooner. Then that way I could’ve helped him. God, I’m so stupid. How did I miss the obvious things? Geez, it’s pathetic. He was obviously not taking care of himself and I somehow missed it.’ Dazai clenched his fists that were tightly gripping his bag. He took a deep breath and unclenched his fists. Setting his bag aside, he pulled out his phone and texted Mori.

‘We made it to the apartment.’

The brunette set the phone down and sighed. He so badly wanted to just hug Chuuya and tell the ginger how he felt, but that was completely impossible. Chuuya obviously didn’t like him, and no way in hell was he ever going to be allowed to hug him.

‘This is going to be a long weekend.’

Chapter Text

Chuuya stood in the bathroom clutching his backpack. He had let something personal slip out of his mouth, and he rushed out of there as quickly as he could. He knew Dazai heard him, and now he was in even worse trouble than he already was. He was really trying not to break down sobbing because of how much it hurt to do anything, even breathing hurt like hell. His ribs were probably about to collapse. Yep, he wore his binder way too long and now he was going to pay the price, and live through hell just to pay that.

Chuuya and Dazai both know that they’re both trans, but besides each other, only a few people know about it.

For Chuuya, Dazai, Mori, Kouyou, and Verlaine know. Some of the sheep members might, but he doubts that they even payed that much attention to his appearance.

Chuuya doesn’t know who Dazai has told, but he can guarantee that Mori knows about both of them.

Opening his backpack, the ginger dug through it to find a pair of clothes he could wear.

Eventually, he found a shirt that was basically a t-shirt, but there was sleeves sewed into the short sleeves. He also found some baggy, dark pants that he thought was good enough.

Chuuya began to (slowly)take off the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing, it was black with very dark grey stripes. He very slowly and carefully pulled it off over his head to reveal his torso, the top half of it covered by the tight binder. He could immediately tell that there were definitely some bruises on his skin. He really didn’t want to look, so he closed his eyes and cautiously took off the binder. There was a wave of relief that over came his body, but that was quickly shut down due to the bruising on his chest making it still hard to breathe. He felt around the countertop for the shirt he picked out. He found it, picked it up, and quickly but carefully put it on. He opened his eyes, expecting to see the worst, but he then realized that the shirt was pretty big on him. You couldn’t even tell that there was only a shirt covering his chest! He quickly changed into the pants and put his dirty clothes in a different pocket in his backpack.

He then dug around some more in his bag until he found what he was looking for.

He pulled out a container of small, white pills and dumped six out. The pills were painkillers, and due to a literal god in his body, he had to exceed the normal amount of pills to take in order for them to work.

Chuuya looked at the pills in his hand and counted them internally. Six. He got the right amount this time. He swallowed the pills dry and put the container away.

He took his hair out of the ponytail-like thing he had it in and set the hair tie down. He looked for a hairbrush in his bag and managed to find one. He brushed his hair, which somehow managed to not get that messy, and shoved the brush back into his bag.

It had been roughly 20 minutes since he originally entered the bathroom. Chuuya opened the bathroom door and turned the lights off. He closed the door before hesitating if he wanted to open the bedroom door or not.

After about two minutes of going back and forth in his mind, he finally opened the bedroom door. Dazai was still sitting on the bed, but this time in different clothes than his usual ones. He had moved the bags to the floor and was now just staring down at nothing. Dazai didn’t seem to notice Chuuya entering the room. The ginger stepped into the room and closed the door behind him quietly.

Chuuya started walking towards Dazai, heart beating faster than it should. Dazai looked up just as the ginger was approaching. Dazai sat up straight, which made Chuuya stop and stand still, looking at the other boy. Dazai’s eyes widened a little before he looked back down, his face heating up. Chuuya set down his bag next to the other ones and sat down on the bed, where he originally sat.

“Sorry for…storming out like that.” Chuuya whispered, not even wanting Dazai to hear it. But nonetheless, he heard it.

“It’s fine, I’m sorry for not realizing earlier.” Dazai said quietly, turning his head the opposite direction of Chuuya.

“It’s alright. I didn’t want anybody to find out anyway.” Chuuya responded honestly.

There wasn’t a response from Dazai.

“Hey, I you want, I can change the bandages on your arm. I just realized you’re tying them too loosely, they could fall off at that rate.” Chuuya said. He quickly backtracked and said,

“Only if you’re comfortable with it though! Sorry, I guess I just said that out loud.”

Dazai turned his head to face the ginger.

“You would do that? For me? But why?” Dazai asked hastily.

“Well, yeah. I would do that. I’ve noticed that you never seem to change those bandages. They’re very dirty.”

That last part was true. Dazai rarely changed them unless it was to add more to the wounds.

“Yes, if you could please change them. Just don’t ask about it.” Dazai replied quietly, his voice almost a whisper. His tone sounded…broken..in a way. Chuuya could immediately tell that the bandages were bothering him.

Chuuya grabbed their shared bag and searched through it to find the bandages. He found them and instructed Dazai to sit farther down on the bed so that they wouldn’t fall off. Dazai moved down and turned his body towards Chuuya.

Chuuya set the roll of bandages down and asked Dazai if he could hold out one of his arms. Dazai hesitated, but agreed and held his right arm out.

Chuuya started unraveling the bandages on the brunette’s arm. They were dirty, and looked like they hadn’t been replaced in weeks. Dazai closed his eyes and winced a few times while Chuuya was taking off the previous bandages.

When the ginger got all the old bandages off the brunette’s arm, and he realized why Dazai was wincing.

Scars covered his arm completely. Some looked old, and some looked fresh. But they were all scars. And there was no doubt in Chuuya’s mind that they were self-harm scars. Dazai’s eyes were still shut closed tightly, he obviously didn’t want to look. Chuuya grabbed the new roll of bandages and started wrapping the taller one’s arm back up. Once the right arm was done, Chuuya asked for the left one. And once the left one was done, Chuuya picked up the dirty bandages and threw them away in the trash can on the left of the bedside. Dazai had pulled his arms back and he looked like he was about to cry.

But he didn’t. He instead crawled over to the left side of the bed and layed down on his stomach. Chuuya walked over to the left side of the bed and sat down.

“Thank…thank you.” Dazai whispered quietly.

Chuuya couldn’t help but smile softly.

Dazai turned over to lay on his back.