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Chapter Text

“Remind me again why we couldn’t room together?” Alec’s voice was almost petulant as he and his brother stared at the empty room. There were two bedrooms connected to a small shared living space with a worn sofa and a little tv, a small kitchen, and a shared bathroom. It was a small campus apartment, but it was much better than the regular dorm rooms from last year.

“Because I’m staying in the frat house this year, remember?” Jace smiled sympathetically. “You’ll be fine. You can use some friends!”

“I have friends,” Alec huffed, setting the box he was holding on the floor. 

“You have 3 friends, two of which are related to you. You need friends who aren’t me and Izzy, or my girlfriend.”

Alec sighed. Realistically, he knew Jace was right, but the idea of living with a total stranger made his stomach twist into knots. He wasn’t exactly the social type, nor the super friendly type, so his roommate would probably hate him. Or his roommate could be super homophobic. Or a secret serial killer. The possibilities were endless. But there was nothing Alec could do about it; he was only a sophomore, and you didn’t get to move off campus until your junior year. 

“You want me to stay and help you unpack?” Jace offered.

“No, it’s okay. I know you’re dying to go see Clary,” he teased. Jace’s expression softened at the mention of his girlfriend and Alec grimaced. “Gross, stop looking all happy and in love. I’m gonna throw up.” 

Jace shoved at his shoulder affectionately before giving him a quick hug and racing to go see the redhead. Alec liked Clary, but it had taken him a while to get there. She was intense and high-energy and hard to keep up with, but she grew on him. Not to mention how happy she made his brother, which was the most important thing in Alec’s book. 

He put his headphones on and got to work unpacking all of his things. Briefly, his gaze drifted to the door on the opposite side of the living area, where his roommate would be. Alec wondered what he was going to be like. He didn’t even know if the person was here yet. The best case scenario was that his roommate wasn’t social either and they would endure the following year in quiet tolerance of the other’s existence. 

After a few hours, Alec was proud of the progress he made. He had his desk set up with his laptop and a few knick-knacks, along with a small tv and his gaming system. He hung up all his clothing and organized his shoes neatly on the floor of the little walk-in closet. Finally, he had made his bed, and the room felt a little bit more like home. 

Something tugged at his heart then. He was lucky enough that Jace, Izzy, and him all got accepted into the same college, but Izzy was a year below him and Jace, and Jace was in a frat now, so they would likely have minimal time to spend together. He missed Max, the youngest of the Lightwood siblings at only 10 years old. He did miss his parents a little bit, but it was exhausting having to pretend to be someone he’s not when he’s at home. Jace, Izzy, and Clary were the only ones who knew about his sexuality, and he intended to keep it that way, but it hurt to not be able to fully be himself around his parents. 

He outwardly shook his head as if to expel the thoughts from his brain and decided he would feel better after taking a shower. Grabbing a towel, he locked himself in the small bathroom and let the scalding hot water wash off the sweat and grime from moving all his things in. As predicted, he felt immediately better than he had 20 minutes ago. He was exhausted from the day and looked forward to crawling into bed and passing out. 

He half-heartedly dried himself off when he realized he forgot to bring a change of clothes with him and mentally kicked himself. He didn’t think his roommate was here yet, so he resigned himself to his fate and exited the bathroom, intending to dash for his bedroom. However, God was clearly not on Alec’s side and he stepped out just as the main door to their room swung open, and Alec was suddenly faced with possibly the hottest guy he has ever seen in his entire life. Alec’s mouth went dry as their eyes locked.

The man was tall, maybe an inch taller than Alec, and lean, but by the way the fabric of his shirt pulled against his biceps Alec knew he was definitely hiding some muscle. He had black hair with a few stray hot pink strands styled neatly, deep brown eyes outlined with black kohl and flecks of shimmery glitter, and golden skin that Alec desperately wanted to touch. Or taste. Or both. He was wearing a burgundy shirt with almost all the buttons undone save for two at the bottom, exposing a vast plane of deliciously tan skin (Alec swore he could see a hint of abs, and he would be lying if he said the thought didn’t go straight to his dick), tucked into obscenely tight leather pants. Many necklaces of varying length hung around his throat, one long enough to stop just above his belly button. Too many earrings to count littered both ears, twinkling in the light, along with a multitude of rings adorning his fingers. 

The stranger looked ethereal, and Alec was standing there in just a towel. Like an idiot. He instantly felt himself flush from his hairline to his chest. 

“Well, my evening is looking better and better,” the man smirked. His voice was smooth as honey, and Alec suddenly felt weak in the knees. “I’m Magnus, and you are?”

Magnus. The name suited him. It sounded powerful, and Magnus very much looked powerful. 

By some miracle, Alec was actually able to formulate a few words. “Lightwood. I mean—shit. Alexander. Alec. Alec Lightwood.” 

Absolutely stellar. He desperately wished for the ground to swallow him whole where he stood. 

But Magnus’ eyes shone with amusement. “Alexander. Pretty name befitting a pretty face. Or do you prefer Alec?”

It was an automatic yes…for everyone else. Only his parents called him Alexander when he fucked up and it felt too formal. But there was something about the way his name rolled off Magnus’ tongue that had heat pooling low in his gut. Not to mention, pretty face. “Alexander is fine,” he finally croaked out. 

“Wonderful. Now, not that I’m not loving the view, but you’re starting to drip onto the floor.” Alec’s eyes followed as Magnus pointed a glittery nail down at the tile, and there were indeed a few droplets that pooled where he stood. 

“Right. Clothes. Um,” Alec felt his cheeks heat up as he stumbled over his words. “Nice to meet you. Goodnight.”

Magnus’ grin was mischievous. “Goodnight, Alexander.”

Alec stumbled into his bedroom and slammed the door shut, leaning back against it, chest heaving. Alec had considered many different possibilities about who his roommate would be, if they’d get along, if the person would be awful. However, he had not prepared for this. He hadn’t considered the possibility that his roommate would be a sculpture hand-carved by God himself sent to torture Alec specifically. 

He hastily threw on a pair of ratty sweatpants and crawled into bed, the blanket around his body like a shield. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed his heart rate to return to normal, and soon enough his breathing evened out and he fell into a simmering dream about tan skin and ringed fingers. 

Chapter Text

It felt like barely 5 minutes between Alec closing his eyes and his alarm blaring in his ear. He reluctantly cracked one eye open as he fumbled for his phone, silencing the wretched thing. He laid in bed for a few moments longer before forcing himself to get up. He hastily changed into gym shorts and a t-shirt and slipped out of the apartment, grateful that Magnus wasn’t awake yet. He didn’t think he would be able to handle that this early in the morning. 

He swiped his student ID to enter the gym and attempted to lose himself in his workout. Regardless of how hard he tried, his thoughts kept drifting back to Magnus. Alec has known he was gay since he was 12 years old, but never in his life had he been quite so physically and mentally affected. He’s met plenty of hot guys, but no one even came close to Magnus. He was dying to know more about him. What’s his major? What were his hobbies? Did he like boys? Did he want to run away together and get married?

Okay, relax. Get it together.

With great effort, he pushed his roommate out of his thoughts and increased the incline on the treadmill so he was forced to focus on nothing but the way his legs felt like molten lava. Once Alec was satisfied with himself, he trekked back to the apartment. He was grateful that it was relatively close to the campus gym, his muscles burning with every step. 

Alec tentatively pushed open the door to the apartment, his ears straining for any type of noise from his roommate. He heard clattering coming from the kitchen and felt his pulse quicken. His plan was to quietly slip back into his room unnoticed but was stopped in his tracks by the soft call of his name. 

“Alexander? Is that you?” Magnus’ voice beckoned. 

Alec heavily debated acting like he hadn’t heard him, but the last thing he wanted to do was get on this insanely attractive man’s bad side by acting ignorant, so he took a deep breath and forced his feet to carry him to the kitchen. His breath hitched against his will.

Magnus was standing at the stove cooking pancakes. He was dressed in silk pajama pants and a black dressing gown. He still had an assortment of rings on his fingers; they glittered with the movement of Magnus’ hands and caught Alec’s eye. Alec couldn’t help but notice how big his hands were, accentuated by the jewelry, and the only thought his stupid brain could conjure up was how badly he wanted them in his mouth.

I have got to get a grip. It’s literally day one.

“Good morning, Alexander! I made pancakes if you…” Magnus’ voice trailed off as he turned to face him. His robe was untied, giving Alec an unobstructed view of his broad chest and abs, miles of honey skin burned into Alec’s brain. He was so distracted by the sight that he almost missed the way Magnus’ eyes trailed all over Alec’s body. He was soaked in sweat, causing his clothes to meld to his skin and his damp hair start to curl. Alec swore he saw a faint blush rise to Magnus’ cheeks when the other suddenly cleared his throat and turned back to the pan on the oven. “I made pancakes if you want some.”

It was a peace offering, and Alec forcibly shoved down the anxiety that bubbled in his gut. “Um, sure. I just need to shower. I’m gross from the gym.” He turned away towards his room to grab a change of clothes. Magnus muttered something unintelligible under his breath and Alec frowned. He hoped Magnus didn’t think he was a weird macho gym bro. 

Alec set the water as hot as it would go and stepped into the stream, letting it run over his skin and soothe his aching muscles. As he went through the motions, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to the man in the kitchen. His sleep tousled hair, his toned stomach, and God, his hands.

He wondered what it felt like for the rings to catch in his hair, for his hand to clasp around Alec’s throat, for the pads of his fingers to press down on Alec’s tongue. Almost absentmindedly, Alec brought a hand to his aching cock and stroked himself languidly, imaging that it was Magnus’ hand instead. He then immediately felt deep shame for thinking about his roommate in such a perverted way, quickly turning the water to ice cold and willing his erection away. 

He hurriedly dried himself off and threw on black jeans and a plain t-shirt, feeling oddly insecure about his wardrobe in comparison to Magnus’. He padded back out to the kitchen where Magnus was, doing his very best to actively not think about how he was jerking off to the thought of his hands not even 10 minutes ago. 

Magnus was seated at their small, rickety kitchen table, two plates set out. His eyes lit up when he saw Alec. 

Alec blinked at him. “You didn’t have to wait for me.” Now he felt even worse for what he did. 

Magnus waved a hand dismissively. “I wanted to. Besides, I was hoping we could get to know each other. We’re gonna be stuck together for a whole year, after all.” Magnus’ smile is blinding and Alec thinks his heart might have stalled in his chest for a few seconds. 

He awkwardly sunk into the chair opposite of Magnus, flustered. “It smells really good,” he offers. 

“Well, go on! I want to know what you think.” Magnus rests his chin on his palm, studying Alec. 

Alec tried not to squirm under his gaze and focused his attention on the plate in front of him. He used his fork to cut off a small piece of pancake and popped it into his mouth. His head fell back with a soft groan. “These are amazing.”

Magnus smirked. “I’m glad you like them, Alexander. Now, tell me about yourself.”

Alec took his time chewing, pointedly ignoring the flare of heat at the use of his full name. “You already know my name. I’m 20, and a sophomore political science major. 2 of my siblings also go here: Jace and Izzy.” It was like every fact he knew about himself went out the window. Alec was spectacularly horrible at talking to people. 

Magnus raised an eyebrow, “That’s it?”

Alec shrugged, feeling his face flush. “I’m pretty boring, sorry. There’s not much to tell.” 

“You are pretty, but you’re certainly not boring. What do you like to do? Why did you pick your major? Do you like cats or dogs?” Magnus looked at him expectantly. 

“Um…I like going to the gym, and reading. I’m not very social, I prefer staying inside as opposed to going out. I picked my major because I want to make changes in our system and be able to help people.” He absentmindedly twirled the fork in his hand. “And I like both, but I much prefer cats.”

Magnus still seemed unsatisfied but, mercifully, he dropped it. “Cats are an excellent choice. I knew I liked you.”

Alec fought back his blush and gestured at Magnus. “What about you?”

 “I’m 23, a senior. I’m a biology major with a minor in herbology. The goal is to become a doctor; I’m leaning towards pediatrics. I’m an only child. I do love a good party, especially when I’m the one throwing it. I have extravagant taste and I’m an excellent planner.”

“Wait, you’re a senior?” Alec’s blue eyes were wide and his heart fluttered a little at the realization. “How did you get stuck on campus rooming with a sophomore?”

Magnus shrugged. “It’s easier to live on campus, and this place had a vacancy.”

“Why herbology?”

“I took one class my freshman year and it just kept my interest. It’s so neat how so many natural remedies for things just exist everywhere on Earth. If people focused more on the natural ways to heal—not in a crunchy, anti-vax way, Alexander, don’t look at me like that—we could really get a lid on the prescription drug problem that plagues society. Plus, it would, in theory, force people to care more about environmental conservation if we really relied on it for our ailments.” He seemed to realize he went on a little tangent and looked a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I know it’s not the most riveting thing in the world.”

But Alec would let Magnus rant about whatever he wanted if it meant getting to hear his voice more. Hearing Magnus talk so passionately stirred something deep inside him. “Actually, it sounds really interesting. I’ve never really thought that much about it, honestly, but you make a great point about the environmental conservation benefits.” He offered a small smile, which Magnus happily returned. 

They sat there and talked for a little while longer before Alec’s phone pinged with a text from Jace. 

Clary and I are outside the library. Izzy’s on her way.

Alec looked up reluctantly, not wanting to end their conversation. “I’m sorry, I promised my siblings that I would go out with them today. I have to go meet them at the library.”

“No need for apologies, Alexander. We live together, remember? There’s plenty of time for me to bore you with plant knowledge,” Magnus’ smile was all pearly white teeth. “Actually, I’m supposed to be meeting my friends near there. We could walk together?”

If Alec’s heart gave a little jump at that, well, that was his business. “Sure, I’d like that.”

Magnus changed into a silky black button up tucked into leather pants, and Alec thought he really might die. His eyes donned black eyeshadow and some deep blue glitter for a little pop, and of course he had an abundance of jewelry again. Alec almost felt jealous of his style; he would never be able to pull off an outfit like that as expertly as Magnus did. 

They strolled to the library together, chatting and exchanging witty quips without pause. Alec had notoriously below average conversational skills—and he disliked talking to people in general—but banter came easily with Magnus. He listened to Alec like he genuinely cared about what he was saying. Alec didn’t know what to make of this exuberant, sweet stranger that had been suddenly catapulted into his life. 

“Alec!” A familiar voice cut through the air. Alec turned his head and saw both his siblings as well as Clary and another guy Alec hadn't met before walking over to where Magnus and him stood. 

“I’ll see you back at the apartment, Alexander.” Magnus flashed a polite smile to the rest of the group before he hurried off, presumably to meet with his own group. 

“My my, Alexander, who is that?” Izzy’s eyes shone with mischief. 

Alec flushed bright red. “That’s Magnus, he’s my roommate this year,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a nervous tick. 

“You’ve known him for a day and you let him call you Alexander? You really must be smitten,” Jace smirked. Alec shoved at his shoulder, but it held little bite. 

“He asked, I said sure without thinking,” he tried to play it off. “Anyways, who’s the newbie?”

“This is Simon, he’s been my best friend since elementary. He just transferred here from his other school, we have a better accounting program apparently. He’s a sophomore like us.” Clary’s smile was bright as she introduced him. 

Simon waved before pointing at Magnus’ retreating figure. “If I was into dudes, I would totally go for him. That guy is seriously good-looking.”

Jace snorted. “Cause that’s a very straight thing to say.” Clary smacked his arm. 

Simon shrugged. “I’m secure enough in my sexuality to be able to recognize when a dude is hot.”

Alec paid little attention to the bickering that started up, instead glancing back in the direction Magnus walked. He took in the sight of Magnus’ leather pants perfectly snug on his hips, accentuating the curve of his ass, and couldn’t help but agree with Simon’s statement. He quickly forced his gaze away before his own pants started to tighten. 

Alec sighed internally. His roommate was seriously going to be the death of him.

Chapter Text

It was dark outside when Alec finally made it back to the apartment, exhausted from the day’s activities. He couldn’t wait to lay down in his bed and pass out for the night. He loved his siblings dearly (Clary too, but he refused to say that out loud to anyone), but they were out for hours and Alec’s social battery only lasted for so long. 

His exhaustion suddenly vanished when a delicious smell hit him. He followed it out to the kitchen to find Magnus standing at the stove again, cooking dinner. Magnus looked up at him as he entered and flashed him a quick grin before he returned his attention to whatever he was making. 

Alec peered over his shoulder. “What’s that?”

“Mie Ayam. It’s a traditional Indonesian dish my mother used to make when I was little.” Magnus’ voice sounded fond when he spoke. Alec ignored the way his chest warmed at the tone.

“Is that where you were born?”

Magnus nodded. “Haven’t been back there since I turned 18.”

“Are your parents still over there?” Alec leaned against the counter, watching Magnus work. 

The other man tensed up at Alec’s question. It was subtle and quick, and Alec would have missed it if it weren’t for the fact that he was already watching him so closely. Alec was suddenly swarmed with the feeling that he had overstepped. 

Magnus took a few moments to answer, his hard gaze trained on the food in front of him. Just as Alec was about to retreat and tell him to forget the question, Magnus finally opened his mouth. “Both of my parents are dead. My mother killed herself when I was nine.” 

Alec’s heart sank and he immediately rambled out apologies, cursing himself for being nosy. 

Magnus waved him off and looked over with a small, sad smile. “I’ve long since gotten over it, Alexander. No need to apologize. Now,” he quickly schooled his expression and held up a spoon. “Try this.”

Alec obediently opened his mouth, letting Magnus feed him the piece of chicken on the spoon. His eyes widened, pulling a small laugh from Magnus. “That’s delicious.” He licked his lips to get the bit of sauce that had smeared and looked up to find Magnus watching him very intently. Suddenly feeling sheepish, his cheeks flushed. “It’s really good.”

Magnus grinned. “I’m glad you think so, darling.” 

“Do you like cooking?” Alec, with great skill, did not react to the endearment. 

“I do. I try to do it as often as possible, though sometimes I’m just plain lazy. But making these dishes reminds me of home.” He shrugged as he said it, as if he were embarrassed to say the words out loud. 

Without thinking, Alec reached a hand up to curl around the back of Magnus’ bicep in a comforting gesture. “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s really sweet, actually.” Magnus awarded him a soft smile.

It was that moment that Alec suddenly realized how close they were standing, how close their faces were. From this distance, he could see little gold flecks in Magnus’s irises, the way the kohl around his eyes was slightly smudged, the way his lips were lightly bitten from worrying them between his teeth. If Alec leaned just a tiny bit forward, he could…

Alec quickly yanked himself back before his body could act on his stupid thoughts, feeling the heat of his cheeks burning scarlet. He cleared his throat and pushed away from the counter. “I should, um, get to bed. It’s late, classes start in the morning.” Something in Alec’s heart broke as he watched disappointment dampen Magnus’ expression, and he quickly added, “Would you mind putting some aside for me for tomorrow?”

Magnus visibly brightened and nodded. “Of course. Get some rest, Alexander.”

Alec flashed a tight smile and retreated to his room, exhaling a deep breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. It was terrifying how much Magnus affected him. He collapsed backwards onto his bed with a small sigh, one of his palms reaching up to rest over his pounding heart. Thankfully, he wasn’t left alone with his thoughts for long as the momentarily forgotten exhaustion from earlier washed over him and carried him to sleep. 

-

Not that Alec particularly loved school, but he had been looking forward to starting the semester. Now that he was a sophomore, he was mostly free of the basic introductory courses and instead got to dive into classes that were more specific to his major, such as the politics in film seminar that he was especially interested in. 

He got up extra early and went for a run to clear his head and calm his nerves before his first class. Alec tried to get mostly early classes because he liked having the rest of the day to himself, and he even managed to create a schedule that awarded him a class-free Wednesday every week. 

Magnus wasn’t awake yet by the time he got back, so he took a quick shower and made himself a cup of coffee. He distantly recalled Magnus telling him he had a class at 9am, so Alec knew he would be getting up shortly. He put a fresh pod in for Magnus and placed a clean mug next to the coffee machine, leaving it on so the water would be ready to go when the other boy woke up. Before he could talk himself out of it, he scribbled on a post it note and left it on the coffee maker before dashing out the front door. 

He met up with Izzy on his way to his first class since they were in the same building. She handed him a granola bar and he thanked her profusely. They fell into step next to each other and he quickly devoured the snack, grateful to have something in his stomach besides coffee.

“So, how’s your roommate?” She asked suddenly. 

Alec choked on the bite in his mouth. “He’s fine, I guess? I didn’t see him this morning,” he answered when he finally recovered. 

“Just fine? No fun details to share?” She raised her eyebrow, a knowing look in her eye. Alec kept his gaze squarely on the path in front of him, knowing his face was turning a different shade. She gasped, thwacking his arm. “I knew it! Something happened!”

Alec quickly shushed her, glancing around wildly as if Magnus would appear out of thin air and hear her. “Nothing happened, and keep your voice down!” he hissed. “He made dinner, shared some details about his family, and then I went to bed.” 

But Izzy was his sister and could see right through him. She narrowed her eyes, “ I know you, big brother. There’s something you’re not telling me.”

Alec signed, knowing it would be better to just tell her and get it over with. “I almost kissed him,” he mumbled. 

Izzy squealed in excitement. “I knew it! You like him, don’t you?” 

“It’s literally been 2 days, Izzy. I don’t even know the guy. It’s just, he let me try some of the food he made, and things got personal, and then his face was right there and he just looked so good!” Alec groaned. “I don’t even know if he likes guys or not.”

“Have you considered just asking him?” Izzy said it like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Wow, Iz,” he rolled his eyes. “Why didn’t I think of that? Oh, wait, that’s because you don’t just ask someone something like that.” 

Izzy smacked him again, ignoring the glare that followed. “You’re grumpy when you’re not getting laid.” Alec squawked indignantly but before he could reply, they reached their building. “Just take a chance, big brother. See you later.” And with that, she disappeared down the hallway. 

Feeling inexplicably defeated, Alec slinked off to his own class. He was thankful that it was only the first day, seeing as after their conversation, Alec could focus on nothing except his roommate. 

Alec had three classes today and got back to the apartment around 4pm, happy to finally be done for the day. It was only the first day so by no means was anything unfathomably difficult but he was eager to get home. If part of it was because he was hoping to see Magnus, that was his business. 

He was delighted when he was met with laughter as soon as he opened the door. Magnus was lounging on the tattered sofa, chatting animatedly on the phone to someone. He was wearing black jeans that were, as with seemingly all his other pants, so tight on his defined thighs that Alec’s heart stuttered for a moment. The real kicker was the sheer black button up with lace sleeves—it did wonders for his biceps and for Alec’s arousal. 

Alec dutifully ignored the pang of jealousy that unfurled in his chest as Magnus chuckled at whatever the mystery phone person said to him. The feeling lightened up just a little when, upon realizing Alec was home, Magnus brightened up. 

“I’ve got to go, Cat, my roommate’s back.” There was an indistinguishable murmur from his phone and Magnus rolled his eyes. “Your criticism is not necessary, my dear. Talk to you later.” When he hung up, he greeted Alec with a wide smile. “Alexander. How were your classes?” His hand patted the cushion next to him and, well, Alec was a weak man. 

Alec settled into the space next to the taller man, flushing when their thighs touched just slightly. Magnus didn’t seem bothered so Alec made no effort to move away. “They were all good. I’m excited for this semester. I have a seminar about political cinema that I’m really looking forward to. It’s so interesting to see how people dealt with censorship and how they tackled real world issues and—” Alec faltered when he realized he was going on a tangent that Magnus most likely had no interest in. “Sorry, I’m just really into it.” He shrugged sheepishly, cursing himself for being so awkward. 

But Magnus was looking at him like he was talking about the most important thing in the world, and Alec’s heart sang. Wanting to shift the focus away from himself before he went crazy and pulled Magnus in by his hair, he gestured in the other man’s direction. “What about you? How were your classes?”

Magnus groaned and dropped his head back against the couch. The movement exposed the tan skin of his throat, seemingly only to serve the purpose of tormenting Alec. It was inviting and tantalizing and Alec was desperate to hear what sounds he could pull from Magnus if he nipped at the flesh. 

He was brought back to reality by Magnus’ voice. “It was dreadful, Alexander. I only had two classes today, but they were both like, two hours long and they were pretty much back to back. Basically. Plus, when you’re in your senior year and on the brink of graduating, there is no ‘just going over the syllabus day’, they just jump right into everything.” Magnus’ full lips dipped into a pout. Alec exercised the restraint of an angel and did not lean over and kiss it off his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Alec sympathised. 

Magnus waved a dismissive hand. “That’s just how the cookie crumbles, I suppose. Besides, they were much more manageable when I woke up to my coffee already being all set to go.” His smile was fond. Alec’s heart roared. 

Doing his best to wave it off, Alec shrugged. “By the time I was heading out the door, I figured it had to be getting near the time when you had to be up, too. It was nothing.”

But there was an odd sort of look in Magnus’ eyes and Alec had no idea what it meant. “It wasn’t nothing to me.” 

And God, who just says things like that? Their gazes were locked, deep blue eyes boring into honey brown ones. Alec felt his heartbeat in his ears and he desperately hoped Magnus couldn’t hear it too. For a split second, it seemed like Magnus wanted to lean in. 

“Alexander—”

Alec didn’t get to hear whatever he was going to say as a loud succession of knocks came down on their door, and then the moment passed. 

Magnus jumped up like he was burned. “I ordered takeout. I didn’t know if you had dinner plans or anything, so I just ordered you something simple, just in case. It’s this lovely little Thai place down the street.” Alec tried not to be touched by the fact that Magnus had thought of him at all. 

They sat on the sofa and ate together with slightly more space in between them now, much to Alec’s simultaneous relief and disappointment. 

“We should exchange numbers,” came Magnus’ voice suddenly. “You know, so we can exchange important information. Like what to have for dinner.”

Alec couldn’t stop the small grin that formed on his face. “Of course. Very important things.” But as Magnus unlocked his phone and passed it to Alec, he suddenly felt frozen. He stared at the phone like it might explode if he touched it. Then, realizing he looked like an idiot, he gingerly plucked the phone from Magnus’ palm and input his contact information before returning it to Magnus. It took great effort to not pay any attention to how Magnus’ hands were larger than his own, and his hands were not small by any means. 

They fell into easy conversation then. But Alec had a question he was dying to ask, unsure of how to phrase it. 

“So, question for you,” he began. Magnus gestured at him to continue. “Don’t any of your friends live on campus? Couldn’t you have roomed with one of them? Surely rooming with a sophomore wasn’t the only option.”

Magnus stared at him for a long moment before he sighed. “Well, I was actually supposed to move in with my girlfriend at the time, Camille. However, that relationship went up into flames at the last minute and there were only a few spots left. This was really the first one that I came across so I just went for it.”

Girlfriend.

The word echoed in Alec’s brain what felt like a hundred times. He felt dizzy, sick to his stomach. He forced out a choked “I’m sorry to hear that,” and his voice sounded foreign in his own ears. 

Magnus waved it off. “She was an evil, manipulative bitch, and I’m better off after the break up. But, I did love her. She just didn’t care. These things happen.” Magnus was trying to come off nonchalant, but it was clear to Alec that he was far more hurt by it than he was willing to let on. 

Alec tried not to hurt by that. They didn’t know each other, of course Magnus wouldn’t be keen on unloading all his true feelings to Alec all of the sudden. The conversation moved on to other things, luckily for Alec. He didn’t want to hear about more ex-girlfriends or any other straight escapades Magnus had embarked on. After a short while, Alec excused himself to bed, needing to get away and have some room to breathe. 

As he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind ventured back to whatever was going on before the takeout arrived. Alec was sure he hadn’t imagined it, he was sure Magnus leaned in. But he couldn’t have, because Magnus is straight and has an ex-girlfriend who he is probably still in love with and certainly he does not want anything to do with Alec outside of this whole roommates business. 

Alec buried his face into his pillow to muffle the groan he let out. Why must the universe punish him in this way? He laid there, replaying the look on Magnus’ face in that moment over and over again before sleep blessedly took him. 

Chapter Text

They fell into a steady rhythm over the next few weeks. Alec wakes up, goes for a run, makes his own light and sweet coffee before situating the machine to be set for when Magnus makes his straight black monstrosity, they both go to class, and then have dinner together at the end of the night. 

Alec of course enjoyed his time with other people, but having dinner with Magnus was secretly one of his favourite constants. Every now and again they would get cheap takeout, or sometimes Alec cooked very basic meals to surprise his roommate, but Magnus was the star chef. He was always cooking for them, always making intricate dishes for what he says is “expanding your palette, Alexander”. The best is when he would let Alec help him. 

“I know basic things, I’ve just never really had to learn.” Alec shrugged the first time Magnus questioned him. Jace was also a good cook and had frequently handled their meals when they lived together. 

“So you’re a spoiled brat is what I’m hearing?” Magnus hummed light-heartedly, not looking up from the broth he was making. There was a teasing lilt in his voice, and Alec’s cheeks had immediately lit aflame. “Well, come on over, then, darling. You’re going to learn.” Alec blinked at him for a few moments before he slid out of the chair he was perched in and stepped next to where Magnus was standing at the small counter. Magnus pushed a cutting board with vegetables and a knife in front of where Alec stood. “Mince those up for me, Alexander.” 

And, look. Look. Alec was a smart person, he thought. Relatively. He was good at a lot of things. He was a good student, a good athlete, a good person. Alec didn’t like to lose, didn’t like doing things he wasn’t good at. Evidently, he was nowhere near the ‘next top chef’ level that Magnus seemed to be at, and that became apparent when Magnus glanced over to check on him and busted out laughing. 

“My, my, Alexander. When you said you knew the basics, I thought that surely included how to cut vegetables,” he snickered. 

Alec flushed head to toe and glared at him. “I told you I’ve never had to do it before!” 

Magnus pretended to wipe a tear away, earning him a shove to his shoulder. “No worries, let me show you.” And then his chest was pressed up against Alec’s back and his long, lean arms were coming around Alec’s waist, and Alec thought he really might pass out. “Like this, darling,” he murmured, his jewelry-clad hands covering Alec’s over the knife and the carrot he had been holding. Alec let Magnus’ hands steadily guide his own but he could hardly focus on what he was doing. It felt like all the blood in Alec’s body had rushed south. He had big hands, but Magnus’ were bigger, and his long fingers donned many glittering rings. Alec pointedly did not think about the weight of them on his tongue. 

Magnus was warm, and the length of his body pressed along Alec’s made the younger boy feel like the wind was knocked out of his lungs. He tried to remember how to breathe, but all his brain could cycle through was Magnus pressed against him, Magnus’ arms around him, Magnus’ hands on top of his. He smelled like sandalwood and Alec wanted to be completely blanketed in it. He felt dizzy.

“That’s perfect, Alexander, just like that,” Magnus cooed. 

Alec’s heart effectively stopped in his chest. The statement wasn’t exactly inappropriate but the way the words were spoken so softly right next to his ear did nothing but pour fuel onto the fire blazing inside Alec. His mind unhelpfully supplied him with images of Magnus muttering those same words in entirely different contexts. 

Later that night, Alec had jerked off to the memory of the other boy pressed up against him, Magnus’ name on his lips. 

After that first time, Magnus allowed him to help out more. He was patient and kind and the whole ordeal was so absurdly intimate it made Alec’s skin crawl with want. It becomes part of their routine. 

Alec clung to the routine very tightly. He knew he shouldn’t, knew he should have been distancing himself from Magnus. He had to remind himself that Magnus was straight and had no interest in him a ridiculous amount of times each day. It was pathetic, really, and Alec lived in deep shame. But God, he just couldn’t help himself. Every time he tried to build a wall, remind himself that nothing will ever happen between them, Magnus just came through and tore it right down, and he wasn’t even trying. Alec tried to build armor around his heart, but the endearing way Magnus insisted on using his full name, the way he sometimes snorted when he laughed too hard, the way he liked to match his eye makeup to his outfit each day—every little thing about him just sliced through everything Alec tried to close off, every single time. 

Even worse, sometimes Alec felt hope. Sometimes, Magnus would look at him with something that almost seemed like desire, or he’d situate himself next to Alec just slightly closer than strictly necessary. Not to mention how tactile Magnus was with him. In those moments, Alec’s poor, weak heart yearned for the older man that much harder. 

The routine they had built was one of the great consistencies in Alec's life, and he hated when it was disrupted. Thus, he immediately felt a surge of annoyance (and anxiety), when he got home one night to find Magnus lounging on the couch with a girl. She was objectively beautiful, with dark skin and white-blonde hair. Something nasty settled in Alec’s gut as he took in how close the pair sat. 

“Alexander!” Magnus beamed. “Welcome home, darling. This is Catarina.”

Catarina waved politely and Alec forced a smile onto his face. “Nice to meet you. I’m Alec.”

Catarina smirked. “Oh yes, I’ve heard loads about you, Mr. Lightwood.” Magnus glared, hissing at her to shut up, though Alec couldn’t fathom why. 

“Right. Um,” Alec hesitated. “Is this your girlfriend?”

Now both of them spluttered. 

“God, no. Not in a million years.” Catarina grimaced. 

Magnus held a hand over his heart in mock hurt. “I’m a little offended at how quickly you disagreed.” Catarina only rolled her eyes at him, but the corner of her mouth had tipped up. The nauseating jealousy howling inside Alec quieted down slightly. 

“Catarina is one of my oldest, closest friends,” Magnus supplied. “She’s in the nursing program. We don’t get a lot of time where our schedules line up so we like to take advantage when we can. Sorry I didn’t give you any warning.” He frowned, apologetic, and Alec wanted to march over and kiss him until it disappeared. 

Alec did not do that, because that would have been insane. Instead, he made a vague ‘don’t worry about it’ gesture. “It’s your apartment too, Mags. You don’t need my permission to have your friends over.” He flashed a smile that he hoped looked genuine. Magnus looked relieved and the way his eyes softened had squeezed at Alec’s heart. “I can go bother Jace so you guys can have your time to catch up,” he offered, already turning to go back out the door. 

Tan fingers shot out and curled around his wrist before he could get very far. “That’s not necessary, the three of us can have dinner together. You don’t mind, do you, Cat?” 

Caterina shook her head, “Not at all.” She was looking at Alec with a knowing look in her eye, but Alec was too focused on the fires that ignited under his skin where Magnus was holding him. Magnus’ hands were warm and soft, and he wasn’t gripping Alec all that tightly but Alec still felt rooted to the spot, unable to move. 

Magnus noticed Alec staring at his wrist and quickly dropped his hand. If Alec didn’t know any better, he would say that Magnus almost looked embarrassed. Magnus was never embarrassed. He was who he was, and he bore it proudly. To see him look so awkward and sheepish…Alec had no idea what to think. Catarina was smirking. 

Alec and Caterina sat in the living room chatting while Magnus made them pad Thai. Alec offered to help but Magnus insisted that he and Caterina got to know each other. 

“So, you’re a nursing major? Are you a senior like Magnus?”

She nodded. “Thankfully. I don’t know how many more exams my brain can handle.”

“I totally get that. How did you guys meet?” 

“We actually met back in primary school. The three of us, including our friend Ragnor, have been friends for a very long time.” Alec hasn’t met Ragnor yet, but Magnus has mentioned his name more than a few times. “Magnus can be a little wild, and Ragnor helps keep him steady when necessary. They keep me around because Magnus is charming and way too good at getting his way, meaning Ragnor occasionally gets sucked into his awful ideas. I’m here to yank them both back.” Her smile is fond as she speaks, and it’s clear they all love each other. 

“Sounds like my siblings. Jace and Izzy can be reckless and honestly, a little insane sometimes. I do my best to keep everybody out of jail. I can’t imagine trying to keep a reign on that one,” he gestured out to the kitchen, grinning. 

“He’s calmer since he met you. You’ve had quite an effect on him, Alec.” She looked at him knowingly. 

Alec frowned. “What does that—”

“Caterina!” Magnus’ sudden shout cuts him off. “What are you two talking about in there?”

Caterina beamed at Alec. “I’m just filling Alec in on that time you got banned from Peru.”

Alec’s eyes widened. “Okay, please tell me this story.” 

“You know that was partly Imasu’s fault!”

She rolled her eyes. “You can’t blame everything that happened on that trip on your boyfriend, Magnus.”

Alec froze. 

Boyfriend?

It felt like Alec’s world suddenly flipped upside down. He hoped it didn’t show on his face. But he couldn’t unpack this now, he had to get through this dinner. With shaky hands, he urged her to continue the story, willing himself to relax. 

Caterina shared many embarrassing tidbits about Magnus as the three of them ate, ignoring Magnus’ protests. Alec found that he really liked her, and was a little sad when she announced that she had to take her leave. 

“She’s really sweet,” Alec told Magnus when the door shut.

“She is. Except for when she conspires against me and tells you embarrassing stories.” Magnus turned to look at him, pouting dramatically. 

“But I like hearing the embarrassing stories. I like getting to know more about you.” He grinned brightly. 

Magnus looked down at him with an unreadable expression. Alec did his best to ignore how close they were standing. “You do?” Magnus’ voice was soft and—did he take a step forward? 

Alec nodded, unable to break the staring contest they were having. “Of course I do. I like knowing you.” He hesitated for a moment. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course, darling.” 

“Um,” Alec started, very intelligently. “Sorry. A while ago, you said you had to change housing because of your ex-girlfriend. And then tonight, Caterina mentioned your ex-boyfriend. I’m just—sorry. I don’t even know why I’m asking, this is extremely personal, please just forget—” Alec’s rambling was cut off by Magnus putting a finger to his lips. 

“Slow down, Alexander. It’s okay,” Magnus promised. “Yes, I’ve dated women and men and just about everything in between. I’m bisexual.”

Alec blinked as he processed Magnus’ words. 

Bisexual.

Slow down. Just because he likes guys doesn’t mean he likes you. 

“Oh” is all he managed to come up with, and promptly wished for the sweet release of death. 

“Is that a problem?” Magnus tilted his head to the side, amber eyes curious. 

“Not at all!” Alec scrambled. “I’m not—I would never—no, there’s no issue. I’m sorry, I’m not good with words.” 

Magnus laughed heartily and he looked so beautiful as he did it. Alec wondered what would happen if he just leaned up the single inch that separated them and connected their lips. He immediately shoved the thought away and focused on what Magnus was saying. “Good to know. Would have been awkward since we’re stuck in a campus lease agreement for a year.” Alec could only nod, trying to think of anything other than how much he wanted to kiss the taller man. 

Alec tried not to get too hopeful about the newfound information. Just because Magnus was bisexual didn’t mean he wanted anything to do with Alec. Realistically, Alec knew he was at least passably attractive; he had a striking combination of jet black hair and sparkling blue eyes, and he went to the gym regularly. He knew he wasn’t exactly ugly, but he didn’t consider himself to be all that stunning. Not like Jace and Izzy, who typically had lines of suitors begging for their attention. 

And Magnus was…Magnus. He was everything. He was beautiful and kind, and one of the sweetest people Alec has ever known, and he’s an excellent cook, and he was so smart. Magnus deserved someone as perfect as himself, and Alec didn’t think that could ever be him. He could never be worthy of love from someone as amazing as Magnus. 

“Did you wanna watch a movie or something?” Magnus’ voice interrupted his thoughts. “I mean, it’s a Friday, so I figured we could do something. Unless you have stuff going on in the morning?”

Alec smiled at him, feeling giddy at the idea. “I’d love to.”

And so they found themselves squeezing together on the sofa, watching a horror movie that Magnus had insisted on despite Alec’s resistance. 

“Aww, you scared?” Magnus teased. 

Alec glared at him. “Shut up, I am not.” He smacked Magnus with a pillow, earning a snicker. He then clutched the pillow to his chest. It’s not that he was scared, per se, but…he was just a tiny bit. Why would anyone scare themselves for fun? Alec had enough anxiety everyday so as it was, he didn’t need to add on to it. But Magnus had pouted and said please a thousand times and Alec ruefully gave in. 

Thirty minutes into the movie, Alec was practically hiding under his blanket, deciding then and there that he would never let Magnus pick what they watched again. He felt something nudge his thigh and he turned to look at Magnus, who was watching him with amusement. 

“Doing okay over there, darling?” He teased. 

Alec gave him a withering look. “I hate you.” 

Magnus laughed before lifting his arm and motioning Alec closer. “C’mere. I’ll protect you from the monsters.”

“Don’t make fun of me!” Alec whined, feeling embarrassed. 

“I’m not, Alexander.” Magnus promised. “Just come here.”

Alec eyed him suspiciously for a moment before obliging, scooting a little closer to him. Magnus rolled his eyes and grabbed Alec’s wrist, tugging him forward so Alec tumbled into his side with a soft ‘oof’. “Better?” 

Doing his best to ignore the way his heart was literally beating out of his chest, Alec shifted until he was comfortable, curling his legs underneath himself and relaxing into Magnus’ side, gingerly resting his head on Magnus’ shoulder. He nodded finally, and they both turned their attention back to the movie. 

Well, Alec tried to focus on the movie, but it felt like an impossible task. His skin burned at every point of contact between them, his nostrils flaring at the strong sandalwood scent surrounding him. After a few minutes, he felt a hand card through his hair, and he felt like he was in heaven. 

“Is this okay?” Magnus whispered, his voice sounding uncharacteristically uncertain. 

Alec nodded and leaned into the touch. “More than.”

They fell into an easy silence, minus the few jump scares here and there. Alec thought he might have to sleep with the lights on that night. 

Wanting a distraction from the movie, Alec’s mind wandered to their previous conversation. Magnus had been open with him, and it felt unfair to let Magnus be the only vulnerable one. 

“I’m gay,” he blurted out suddenly. 

Well, okay. That’s one way to do it. Why am I so bad at this?

He shifted so he could look up at Magnus, who he found was staring down at him in shock. “I just—you came out to me earlier, and it only felt fair. And I wanted you to know that I really don't have a problem with it, because I’m…y’know…” Alec trailed off, suddenly feeling nervous. 

“Thank you for trusting me.” Magnus rested a hand on Alec's arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. Alec exhaled, feeling like an anvil had been lifted off his chest. The look in Magnus’ eyes was so sincere and trusting and Alec didn’t know what to do with it. He gave a curt nod and turned his attention back to the movie, and hoped Magnus thought his racing pulse was from the scares rather than how they were pressed against each other. 

What an exhausting day.

The combination of Magnus’ warmth against him and the gentleness of his hands carding through Alec’s hair quickly lulled the younger man into a pleasant half awake-half asleep state. Alec wished he could stay right here in this moment forever. 

As he was drifting off, Alec swore he felt Magnus lean down and press a kiss to the top of his hair, but before his brain could fully process that it happened, he was out like a light.