Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rey killed Palpatine. That's what he ordered, but it certainly wasn't the only reason she made that decision. It was the right thing to do, as there were millions of people dying above them, and she didn't have the power to stand up to him. She did not believe that killing him would be enough to immediately turn her to the dark side and turn her into a Sith, as was implied by what he said and intended. Kylo Ren was not a Sith and had done worse. And even if the Emperor was right and she was doomed to be corrupted by the dark side, the sacrifice would be worth it; however, Rey didn't feel her morals change, much less her political views. Nonetheless, she was convinced that killing him would end his reign of terror once and for all, and that would be reason enough to make that decision. She could not regret looking up and stopping the massive aerial battle from continuing.

There were still some Praetorian guards around the room, but they knelt and did not move after their emperor passed away. If she had denied what the emperor wanted, they would most likely be trying to kill her right now. She looked again at his body, cut in half — a scene coincidentally very similar to Snoke's death in the throne room — and felt a pure satisfaction well up inside her. It was the first time killing had made her feel this way.

She was feeling an unlimited power flowing through her.

Rey didn’t realize she was smiling when Kylo Ren suddenly appeared through the force. He seemed to be in trouble, as if at the start of a fight. But he wasn't dressed as usual, nor was he in the same clothes he'd been in when she'd stabbed and healed him just before. Her smile faltered, stunned as she realized he wasn't the same man who fought her on Takodana, and he wasn't the same man she defeated on Kef Bir¹ — He had changed a lot since then, now he was completely different — and it seemed that he needed help. Maybe she killed Kylo Ren and was now looking exclusively at Ben Solo. It would make sense, it would even be marvelous, but some unknown instinct made her uncomfortable with this possibility. Like he was a threat. Rey couldn’t grasp why.

Kylo Ren was a threat. Ben Solo couldn’t be, he shouldn’t be.

She passed his grandfather’s lightsaber in her hand to him, sure that the bond would do the work and waited for him to get to her when he disappeared.

Ben felt a shift in the force not long before Rey’s appearance. A strong and permanent shift. His mind was silent for what was maybe the first time in his entire life. It seemed that something had happened to the emperor, but he couldn’t understand how Rey could have defeated Palpatine so quickly and easily. Grasping Anakin’s saber, thankful for her help and already ready to defeat the knights of Ren surrounding him — defeat his past that haunted him — suddenly they didn’t seem so eager to fight anymore.

“She killed him?” Cardo’s question was a rhetorical one, based on his tone.

“Ah, she did.” Ap’lek replied anyway.

“It seems that we have a new empress.” Vicrul chuckled, not impressed, his mechanical voice faltering due to his low tone. They all grouped and changed their path to what Ben could only assume it was her location, ignoring his presence as if he wasn’t there.

Ben knew that they were talking about Rey. But something wasn’t right. If Palpatine did in fact die, the change in the force makes sense. He would never underestimate her — that was a lesson learned hard — but he knew that even with their powers combined it would be a very difficult task, they needed each other. That's why he came; to help her, even if it cost him his life, she didn't have to do it alone. It was his intention from the very beginning, not only to give her another reason to fight side by side with him, but also to end the old ways together, as it should be. Furthermore he was afraid of the lies and deceptions Palpatine might feed her. It seemed his sacrifice was not necessary anymore. Rey did it herself, alone, and now she was being called empress by his former knights — who have renegade him from the moment he turned his back on the emperor.

They are always hungry for the power that the dark side can give them.

Chapter Text

She remembered them from her vision at Takodana. The Knights of Ren, six of them were now aligned and kneeled before her like she was their master. It made her feel powerful but it didn’t feel right. In her past visions they had been utterly terrifying, a force to be reckoned with; now they seemed like mere submissive minions. What happened to their loyalty to their master Kylo Ren? Would he be mad at her? Weren’t they mercenaries? Why the kriff¹ would she want them to follow her?

“We await your orders, Empress Rey.” One of them said when she remained silent, proving her point about submissiveness.

Empress Rey, ridiculous title.

Ben arrived just in time. He looked stunned, taking in the whole scene with a shocked look. She wondered what he could be thinking. What would his opinion of her be now? Trying to understand his feelings using the force, she found only confusion and adrenaline. Kylo Ren would certainly have knelt in front of them all, it would probably have been him and not one of his knights declaring that they were awaiting orders. Surely he would have kissed her hand or something, put on a show, she laughed mentally at the thought. He could even have demanded to be at her side, as emperor. Ben Solo, who didn't kneeled, is more rebellious than Kylo Ren, it appeared. What a surprise. 

So, so, so much like his father.

“Don’t refer to me as empress.” She didn't give any of them time to respond and continued talking. “I assume I now have power over the First Order fleet?” Rey looked up at the sky as the immense battle continued to rage on. She had to stop this at once.

“Yes, you are Darth Sidious' heir; our new leader.” One of them, with the simplest mask, responded. She hated the way their voices were altered by the modulator. “We all are at your disposal…” He paused, visibly uncomfortable, unsure how to refer to her. Ridiculous bureaucracy.

“You may call me Rey.” She said it matter of factly. “Only Rey.” Her tone of voice indicated that she would not accept being called anything else.

She didn't want any other name.

Although Rey didn't acknowledge her new acquisitions and power, denying the given title seemed to calm Ben's nerves. His eyes softened as he stalked in her direction in extended strides. Supposed to be the only way those long legs knew how to walk. The knights and guards began to move to stop him from approaching, without a second thought she quickly restrained them with the force. Unfortunately, he didn't get very close.

“Hi Ben.” She smiled.

“Hi Rey.” He smiled back. Ben looked so much younger and handsome when he did. It was probably the first time she ever saw him smiling. It was a big smile. It made her flutter. She wanted so much to run and hug him. Laugh at the absurdity of the circumstances by his side and appreciate this new tranquility she felt emanating from him skin to skin. Physical touch was a craving Rey didn’t know was possible and had never felt it before meeting him.

But she did not fall into the temptation. Something held her on her toes. Probably better judgment. It wasn't the right place, the right time nor the right company.

Even so, feeling his longing through the force, seeing the way his fists clenched on his side looking at her with such yearning brought her a strange euphoria. Maybe he was struggling with the same desire. It was a delicious feeling, the passion. One she didn’t understand nor had any experience, in spite of that she knew it was passion without a doubt. Each and every single time he looked at her the way he was doing now in the past two years she felt compelled to the same temptation; once thought it was the dark side that made her so attracted to him, now with two years experiencing humanoids relations and learning social shenanigans with her new found family she knew better. Unfortunately she couldn’t indulge herself to this feeling; there was a bigger problem in the sky. His ability to distract her from more important events always impressed and disconcerted her.

She turned her sight to the knights, releasing the force that was holding everyone besides her and her dyad.

“I want all the military forces to cease fire at once. And I want everyone out of here, now.” She glanced at the pretonian guards. “Everyone. And don't come back until every finalizer has stopped.” It wouldn't be an easy task, many first order high members would be reluctant to follow these orders, she was sure. “If anyone hesitates in following these orders you may restrain them and lock them up.”

The knights and the guards left as soon as she finished the command. Ben was not surprised, they were impressively efficient as long as they still remained loyal. And Rey was going to make good use of them. It seemed they already feared her. It isn’t hard to fear someone who took down Palpatine. Luke once had the same type of fear directed at him. The way she easily held them with the force certainly solidified the fear, he was sure — and contributed profoundly to his admiration of her. She was radiating force in a strong but unnatural way. It seemed corrupted but justifiable having just killed Darth Sidious, so he didn't dwell on the thought.

Rey was looking marvelous and dangerous, dressed all in white, and he wanted so much to have her permission to touch and hold her against him. Looking into her eyes was like throwing himself in a hazel green ocean of exciting and shivering possibilities, not different from the feeling he used to get as Kylo Ren, ready to conquer. She is even more beautiful after a battle. Since he met her, he denied the temptation he felt for her to Snoke, Kylo constantly tried to suppress the tormenting feeling so he wouldn't succumb to her seduction. After his master's death, after Rey denied ruling by his side, he only felt heartbroken and needy. With anger enough to destroy entire systems in his tantrums — not that he would ever admit that or use that word. Now, having stopped giving in to the dark side, there was an anticipation of not having to suppress himself that made his bones tremble to the core.

He didn’t get better suddenly, there was always conflict running in his soul, even before he started calling himself Kylo Ren. Ben didn’t think that he could be entirely a good person, it wasn’t even his priority. But he could agree that his ways weren’t working, that he made mistakes that should be repaired. He changed his mind the moment he stopped lying to himself, about his needs, wants, emotions and other people’s feelings. Rey taught him that the moment she confessed that she wanted to take his hand, that to assume what motivates other people is digging your own grave full of misunderstandings which results in hasty actions. If he had been honest with himself from the start, he would’ve known that burying one’s past it’s not what creates something new, but accepting the past and overcoming it; that’s what really has the capacity to end the old ways. Through history it’s possible to learn from many mistakes.

It seems that when someone has the force and can't understand its own feelings, that person ends up being a space fascist. His grandfather would have a lot to talk about that.

As he turns his attention to Rey once more, he can't help but feel fascinated by her. He's already called her "nothing," even if it wasn't meant to be offensive, how could he? Kylo Ren fell in love with her in the past years she’d been his enemy, Ben Solo inevitably did too. For him she was starting to overcome everything else. Ben and Kylo are not different beings with different opinions after all. He used to deny his birth name for it was denying the conflict with the light side that resides within his core. Kylo Ren was him embracing the dark side everyone in his life despised and accepting it, killing the light. Now he intended to accept both as they were; he hoped she did too.

“I assume those are the words I should have said a long time ago after we defeated the pretonian guards at the throne room?” He really is his father’s son. Ben couldn’t hold back the bittersweet comment to fill the silence.

Thankfully she was not offended.

“Perhaps.” She laughed entertained, and a surge of pride came to him. It was so damn good to be capable of provoking this kind of reaction from her. “But I don’t think it would’ve worked at the time. You weren’t the supreme leader yet.”

“No I wasn’t yet. It took you leaving.” Weird choice of words, he regretted them immediately.

“What do you want this time?” Ben was surprised by her soft but demanding question.

You he thought selfishly, despite remaining silent he laughed discreetly.

“I know-” He paused, uncertainty revealed in his weak voice “That I don't want to rule the galaxy.” Given a second thought he continued, to make sure she didn’t misinterpret his feelings and intentions. “Nor do I want to join the resistance.”

He never wanted any of it. Politics was his mom's interest. Since he was a kid he wanted to follow his father’s path. Maybe not a smuggler exactly, but to fly with him and have all the galaxy to explore at his fingertips; that was a child's dream. Now he knew that if he hadn’t killed his own dad, maybe Han could be by his side by now with Chewie and Rey — as he remembered from her memories it was his father's wish that she accompanied him — flying the old millennium falcon and helping defeat the emperor, again in the same lifetime. Ben felt like a wretch to think that he took this opportunity away from his own father. He would’ve loved to brag about it to anyone that could use both ears and listen.

What motivated Kylo Ren to rule was the feeling of control which he lacked his entire life, having been manipulated and influenced by other people's choices since he began to walk and talk. His parents, Luke, Snoke and even Sheev Palpatine did a number on his traumas. He wished that both him and Rey could dazzle and rule in a life full of everything that was denied to them. He had done a number of achievements and regrets, mostly regrets, throughout his life and a nineteen year old who grew up in a sand desert not only proved him wrong, but completely changed his outlook on life; being supreme leader failed to meet his need, but holding her hand and talking to her, feeling heard by her, that did it. He wondered if that’s how Anakin used to feel, having confidence in the emperor.

Ben was a thirty year old man now. Ridiculously needy and traumatized.

“There would be no need for a supreme leader nor a resistance without anything to resist.” She smiled again, and oh he was doomed. She smiled more in that short time than in the two years they had known each other, if Leia knew the effect that radiant smile held on him, the general would have tried to win him over with other types of plans. “So what do you want?”

“I don’t know Rey.” Without enough time to plan his own future, he only had one answer, and he couldn’t give her that easily. He suspected — he knew — that his attraction was mutual, but even if he was right he couldn't believe in the possibility that she accepted him as he is, having done everything he did. Nonetheless being a jedi would exclude any possibility of that happening. So much for stopping lying to myself. “What do you want? My intention was only to defeat the emperor by your side, as before. But I suppose I should turn myself in for my crimes so that you and those you call friends can punish me, right?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

No, she doesn't think so. This day never ceases to amaze him.

Rey started pacing and deep thinking. Ben wouldn’t be welcomed by the resistance members, that she knew for sure. She was aware that there were few people that knew that Kylo Ren and Ben Solo were the same person besides herself, and that includes Leia, Han, Finn, that filthy Snoke, Chewie and maybe some first order leadership. Half of them were already dead, but only the first order members could be a real problem. This information was not divulged for resistance members, there was no need to. This could have made more enemies to Leia Organa, not that she didn’t already have enough.

“Who in the first order knows your birthname?”

"Most of them, besides the soldiers, because there was no reason for them to know." Kriff, she was wrong. "But Snoke kept me a dark secret anyway. No one was allowed to say that name."

She grunts. Her initial plan was to convince Finn and Chewie that he wasn’t a threat and bring him as the long lost son of resistance heroes. But that wouldn't be possible anymore. Rey didn’t even know if he would accept that now that Leia passed away.

“We have to pretend that you’re dead.” He didn’t answer her besides the raised eyebrow, so she continued. “I assume the knights know too.”

“They were there when I killed Ren and started calling myself Kylo Ren, so yes.”

“Why did they change their allegiance?” She couldn’t help but ask, now that the subject was brought to life. “I thought they were loyal to you and not the first order.”

"They are Force-sensitive, and their loyalties lie with the dark side," he explained. "They must have sensed I had turned my back on the dark side and decided the Emperor was the best choice to follow." That didn’t explain why they were following her given that she didn’t turn to the dark side, but Rey didn’t need to ask, Ben soon answered. “They are attracted to power and you are the strongest force wielder they know now. But I wouldn’t trust them if I were you.” She won’t.

Ben kept glancing at her in a way like he was trying to solve a mystery.

“I’m not. You are.”

“Actually, supposedly we are the same. Our power reaches its peak when we are reunited. That’s because we are two that are one. The only difference between the two of us is that I was properly trained.” He sighed, confused for a reason she couldn't fathom. "But I think we should discuss this later. We have pressing matters now."

The last time that he explicitly told her that they were a dyad in the force, Rey felt completed the same way she felt bound by chains she didn’t ask. Her reaction was pure denial, trying so hard to believe he was lying to her. Now, she could only feel relief. None of them were made to be alone, and they wouldn’t be, not anymore.

“You’re right. We will have plenty of time to do that.” He smiled at her answer and despite her lack of understanding of why, she continued. “I think that by pretending that you are dead we will have more liberty. And since you don’t know what you want, this can give you some kind of freedom while you find out.” Smart, simple plan.

“I’m a killer, Rey. Why don’t you want me dead or locked up where I won’t be a danger?” That was a question she wasn’t expecting. But it was an obvious.

“So you intend on doing whatever I want then?” She laughed with disbelief.

“It depends on what you decide. We're a dyad Rey, we-” He trailed off, annoyed. But she could guess on what he would say, that they belonged together. It was a deep instinct that ran deep on both of them, influencing their decisions since they met for the first time. “Why do you want to give me a freedom I don't deserve?” Ben pleaded.

Rey tried to think of a reasonable reason, and although her mind lingered on the idea that everyone deserves a second chance she knows very well that he had many opportunities to take that second chance and didn’t. She could feel that the darkness didn’t linger on him anymore so there was no way he could be lying about having turned his back to the dark side, but she knew for a fact that he never was going back to be who he was before Kylo Ren. She still remembered her hope when she shipped herself to him, convinced by their vision that he would turn that time. That thought provoked a laugh, who could’ve guessed? He did it, but not because of her. A selfish feeling made itself known, she wanted to be the reason.

“I’m selfish.” It was true. She felt selfish.

She remembered being offered many rations packs capable of relieving the hunger she felt for days if she gave Plutt BB-8, and she remembered denying after hearing his binary sound terrified. But even then, she surely must have been selfish too. She didn’t feel so alone being accompanied by the droid, beside the point that she knew what it felt like to be abandoned. Although she was helping him get to his master. And still there was no other reasonable explanation to her need to keep him free, and by her side nonetheless.

“You?” He smiled and she blushed immediately. Rey was loving a smiling Ben, he had dimples. “You're selfish?” He said with disbelief, changing the subject fast. “Rey, I will stand by your side if you have me, there's nowhere for me in the galaxy.”

“I think we should decentralize power, distribute the resources to the planets that were harmed by the war, and punish the ones who disagree. Of course there's way more bureaucracy involved, but to put it simply that's my objective.” She looked straight at him, laying her cards on the table. Rey suddenly felt so insecure despite or even because of his certainty on staying with her. She wouldn’t know how to cope with being left behind again, much less for him. “We've always had different political views and I agree that together we're stronger, but I will stand by my convictions. Are you sure you can live with that?”

He smiled once again, bewildered. She could almost hear his astonishment on those teeth because of the force. Weird parallels, but Rey felt his admiration so she flushed as it was a natural consequence.

“I can live with you Rey, and I think that's enough.”

The sudden silence moved her attention from his fluttering words to the sky. Looking above the conflict seemed to be ending. The knights probably would be back by soon, and she will start her work. Not much time to rest.

“You are using big words now.”

Rey turned her head so suddenly she could see the face of someone who just realized its own incapacity of formulating a phrase that didn’t offend.

“I felt that you were impressed, so I will not take offense to what you just said.” The meditation keeps showing its benefits given that Rey was capable of saying with an unexpected calmness. “But I will take the liberty to ask you this; who do you think taught me?” Rey gave him a side smile taking her eyes to everything but him, restrained for the recent grief. But she didn't let him respond to her, not even paying attention to his reaction whilst speaking. “Your mother trained me for a year after Luke's death. I know you know this.”

Looking at Ben again, Rey couldn’t help but long for that expression. He wasn't holding back his feelings as he used to not a long time ago. But he didn't say anything either. Feeling his grief too, she didn't feel compelled to force him to open up himself.

“I hate councils, preferred when she was focused on training Jedi abilities rather than politics and diplomacy.” Rey tried to dispel the sad feeling flowing through them by slowly changing the subject. “But I always was a fast learner.”

“The best learner I've ever seen.” She could hear him gulping. “My mom-” Go on, starting so great she felt fluttered, butterflies on her stomach. “I've always wondered why my mom shut herself from the force, abandoning her training as a Jedi.”Rey almost cried just from hearing him address Leia as ‘mom’ and he recognized her urge to do it given the way he was looking at her. Ben had pleading eyes, but he had the respect to wait for her answer. He was opening the door to a conversation.

They were trying, together. And that just made her heart clench more.

“She had a vision.” She whimpered, but didn't hold back, he deserved to know. “A vision that showed her that if she continued her training and followed the path of jedi you would die.” Now it was her the one gulping. unexpectedly anxious about his reaction. “That's why she followed a political career, she intended to protect you by rebuilding a new republic where you could be safe.”It was a deep and heavy feeling to reveal feelings that Leia had for him in such a crude way, knowing that he couldn't assume she was lying. She didn't wait for his answer, feeling the need to clarify. “Her words, not mine.”

His left hand raised, clenching in the air, Ben put it slowly on his face, looking at the floor and changing his face into such a devastated expression that Rey immediately ran to him, lowering his head on her neck and hugging tightly his shoulders. His arms pulled her to him strongly and unashamed by the waist, almost taking her off the floor and gluing her body to his, only her tiptoe on the floor. His hug became almost hurtful, hot as a furnace and trembling like a child.

And he cried, hiding in the crook of her neck.

A few moments later…

“How did you get here?” She suddenly recalled she had stolen the wayfinder in the wreckage of his ship at Kef Bir.

“I flew an imperial TIE fighter.” He explained simply, but that didn’t make sense. “I remembered the way.”

“The Empire didn’t equip their TIE’s with hyperdrivers.” These models were made to be as cheap and fast as possible. The installment to a hyperdrive was an expense that didn't make sense. Only Darth Vader had one with the complement.

“You're right.” He chuckled, breaking records like a champ.

“Where the kriff you find a TIE fighter equipped with hyperdrivers in the Starkiller's wreckage and how did you remember the way to a region on the outer rims?”

“I guess we'll never know.”²

Chapter Text

He couldn’t convince himself that he didn't destroy his mother's life. He killed many of her friends, he gave her and the resistance work enough to never retire, he never went back to her as she so much wished, he killed the love of her life. And perhaps what hurted the most was that none of his acts made her love him less. Perhaps that's why Kylo Ren never got over his past. When she said his name at Kef Bir just before dying it was still with so much love and grief that wasn’t directed only to his father’s death but to Ben itself. Just like the one he was feeling at the moment regarding her. 

To think that what he once thought that occupied a higher importance in her life than Ben was actually her way of taking care of him only made it worse. Ben cried like his life depended on it. He didn't feel ashamed of wetting Rey's clothes with his tears. He was grateful that she was sharing his feelings, no one could understand him like she did. He wouldn't let pride ruin everything like it once did.

“You didn’t destroy her life, Ben.” Rey ran her fingers on his cheek, moving her face away so she could stare at his eyes. “You hurt her feelings, yes. But Leia’s life was much more than your mistakes in it.” She intertwined her fingers in his hair, by his neck, completely distracting him from formulating a proper answer. “You’re thinking too loud.” Of course he was. He never felt so vulnerable before, and it was all her fault. “And I’m glad you trust me enough to share your burden with me.”

Rey laughed quietly like that fact amazed her and he wanted so much just to kiss her, surely she heard that too. But he didn’t move, just kept staring at her face while accepting the affection.

Feeling more calm than before, he ran his fingers with more intensity throughout her waist and column line, appreciating her willingness and letting himself enjoy the care, tenderness and human touch he was denied by his life’s circumstances. Ben breathed her smell, although he was already intoxicated by his own grief and her touch — two things he denied himself over and over — almost drunk even. Like all the last years of weight just fell off his shoulder. 

“Thank you.” Ben felt so grateful it was overwhelming, he had to say it out loud.

“For what?”

“For you.” Simple as that, but they couldn’t keep on talking, he felt new presences on the force and she felt it too given that her eyes went immediately to the entrance while moving away from him. He made a frustrated sound while cleaning his tears off his face.

The guards of the throne room didn’t return, probably because the mission of stopping the conflict was  given only for the knights, the guards were only supposed to leave the room. But every minute holding her felt like ages, and he wanted to go back to that moment. Ben still felt unguarded having just cried his grief on Rey's neck, so he lingered on the feeling of relief that having her body in his arms gave him. It was a wonderful feeling to be cared for, to be understood. It was like healing his soul.

He could’ve spent the rest of his life that way.

But touching her made him more attune to her force, and she was so unstable it made him afraid. He never felt Rey so corrupted and conflicted, and yet he remembered clearly like it was yesterday when that was his most desired wish. It was a bittersweet feeling.

“We’ve put the oppositors on the cells, and they are waiting for their trial. Given that, we await your new orders, my Empress.” Cardo said.

Ben guessed that given their knowledge of her latest alliances, the less aggressive one was the best choice they had. Cardo could be a merciless killer, having created deadly weapons responsible for countless deaths throughout the galaxy, but still maintained a low neutral voice that didn't sound threatening as the others would.

The knights of Ren were avoiding conflict. 

What a wonder.

“I already told you not to call me by that title.”

“But it belongs to you.” They clearly didn’t know what to do.

“And you’re disobeying the empress orders, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry, my-” Ben had to control himself not to laugh. “Rey, what are your orders now?” A smirk will do, at least to annoy them.

“Keep your eyes on the prisoners, warn me if someone has a change of heart.”

“What about the conflict that is happening above us? Shall we not deal with it? Some resistance ships stopped fighting, but not all of them.”

“I will deal with it myself.” Rey flashed her palm to them. Ben chuckled.

“But my empress-” The knight exclaimed, but had the common sense to correct himself. “I apologize, Rey-” She didn’t let him talk.

“I don't intend to merely sit on a throne and throw orders.” He could see that she was slowly getting mad. Rey got mad easily — especially with him — since he met her for the first time, but now that she was so unstable she could be even more dangerous if she lost control of her emotions. They knew that. The knight's lowered faces showed that they still remembered that she was the one that cut their former master without proper training, supposedly killed Snoke and defeated Palpatine. They weren't aware of the dyad. So they didn’t know that she learned it from his mind, that her strength cultivated by a hard enduring life gave her enough stamina to beat him using his own ability against Ben. That woman is the last jedi that defeated the jedi killer and was capable of killing the Emperor himself.

If she’s unstable, and you stand by the opposite side of her blade. You die.

“Your duty is not merely to throw orders and decide verbally, but people must come to you, not the other way.” If it wasn't for his tedious voice, Cardo could've sounded pleading. “We are here to assure that you don't lose your time with frivolous missions.”

“I must and intend to exercise my power with my own hands.” She said simply, and that was enough for Ben to feel weak, she could disagree all she wanted but Rey made a great leader. “Isn't that what you all expect of me now?” On top of that she’s sardonic.

They were silent.

The knights of ren, known by their tenacity, were trapped by their own ways. By their perspective, Rey was unattainable, her power undeniable. And that was still a mystery to him; they should discuss as soon as possible how and why she felt so different. Now that they couldn't, the remnants of Kylo Ren thought that she would've been so beautiful in black. To think of it as remnants was an understatement, he shouldn’t associate opinions that even Ben would have about Rey to Kylo only.

“You will be useful for me when I decide so.” She continued. “Unless you prefer trying to take my place?” She smiled with mischief. They didn’t answer her. “Now that this useless discussion has ended, I have thought about new work for you. You must find every political party leader in every first order base in the whole galaxy, especially those who dares to act like opposition to me and bring them unharmed, unless they fight. None must be killed, and it’s better if they come by their own disposition.” She raised her eyebrows daring them to antagonize her. “For those that are willing to have a talk, just give them quarters, but keep them well watched. I will be back in a week. It must be enough time for you to work. Any questions?” When they didn’t respond to her she immediately dismissed them, clearly annoyed while they left.

It was like meeting a side of her that he never had before. Rey was voicing political decisions that he would never associate with her, maybe with himself. She slumped, seating once again on the throne stairs. He instinctively went in her direction.

“I feel so tired.” Her voice changed, sounding more like the Rey he was familiar with. “I don’t know why.”

“You just fought Palpatine, it’s natural that you are tired.” She looked at him funnily, almost shy. Rey was keeping something from him. He wondered for how long. He wouldn’t force that information out of her. Not anymore. “You should rest.”

“I should contact the resistance so we can debrief.” She sighed, almost looking opposed to the idea. “And, of course, plan the next movement.” While Rey spoke he went to sit beside her, missing the closeness.

“You are reinforcing your power in a way I never thought you would.” He commented, careful to not offend her. She looked at him with curiosity so he continued. “To incarcerate your enemies that disagree with your ways to assure that they aren’t a threat to your regime is very authoritarian.” Very much like him, actually.

“I heard that.” He chuckled. “And it’s not like you. I’m not going to torture anyone.” She assured him with sarcasm but didn’t sound so sure. “Just talk.” Ben felt her conflict emanating through the force, but one look at his face was enough for her to make it disappear from his senses.

“Right.” He replied with uncertainty and she just ignored him. Ben felt like he was wandering in dangerous unseen waters.

“Wich one of the knights are the most dangerous?”

All of them, honestly.

“Ushar, he's the most sadistic. Enjoys torturing prisoners. Must be very thrilled with your demands.” He sighed. “Don’t expect them to not hurt your prisoners.”

“Sounds charming.” Nothing was charming about a psycho. 

“Why the question?”

“Curiosity and strategy. I guess I should introduce myself properly, don't you? I have no idea what their names even are.” He didn’t even answer her, completely baffled by her nonsense ideas.

Rey ignored the sour expression Ben kept after her assessment about the knights. It didn’t surprise her that he thought of them as a threat, she was well aware that they were bad in the most common sense of the word and shouldn’t be trusted at all. But given the circumstances she ought to make them useful and for that Rey needed to know them more. So she got up and made her way out of that lonely fortress, ignoring any sithspawn that lingered in the walls murmuring and went to where the ships were supposed to be.

Meanwhile she kept replaying her conversation with Ben on her head. Rey failed to see the problem in her decisions. They feel like the best choice to keep every government over the galaxy under control; make sure that they don’t cause any problems to the resistance plans. That surely shouldn't be considered a method from an authoritarian regime. It was a strategy; to resolve any conflict once and for all so that it does not become a long-term problem. It might be a little extreme, but Rey was so kriffing tired of fighting for peace, might as well do everything at once.

Ben wasn’t looking at her nor making any faces. She breathed relief, thankfully he wasn’t assessing what was going on her head. But she kept her wall tall nonetheless. Rey couldn’t just trust that he wouldn't use her feelings against her.

“I’m going to contact the Millenium Falcon. If they show up it’s better that you hide, that is; if we’re going to follow my plan.” He only nodded and it was enough for her. Entering the X-wing cockpit she put the code for the radio wave and waited for an answer but didn’t get one. Suddenly the commlink of the ship was making some noise and she realized that they were trying to contact her with it because they were already close to her location.

The first sound it made was a loud growl expecting answers.

“Yes Chewie, it’s me and I’m fine, thank you.”

Another grunt.

“No, listen-” He kept on grunting indignantly and confused, something about the old emperor rascal hurting her and is Kylo Ren there? Is he alive? Has he hurted her? So she interrupted the wookie.  “Yes I know what happened. Palpatine is gone. I’m safe and I’m going to explain everything and regarding Kylo; officially he is dead.” The noises the wookie was making now were deeply annoying. “Officially means that for the records, he's dead.” A soft and long growl now. “What do you mean you’re coming to get him? He’s dead, officially!” The coms were closed. “Kriff.” She was so mad.

Ben was smiling at her, not with her and that only contributed to make her more mad. That nerf-hearder seemed more at ease since he cried his soul out on her shoulders. But she only felt more tense.

“You shouldn’t have said ‘officially’ when he asked about my whereabouts, it made him suspicious.” He laughed more loudly at her indignant face. “You cannot lie to hurt a fly.”

“What made him suspicious about that kriffing word?”

“He’s a smuggler, which got him a good amount of experience in pretending to be dead.” Well it made sense.

What doesn't make sense is the fact that when Rey said it, it sounded like the right thing to do. Almost instinctive to use the word officially like it meant more than ‘passed away’. It was almost like she revealed the information on purpose. But it wasn’t. If it was, why would she do something like that? Self-sabotage? Put Ben in danger? Rey was starting to doubt herself.

Again.

“So I was stupid and now we’re doomed.” She almost threw a fit right now and then, just like Kylo Ren used to do.

“Well it depends on who is with him on that piece of junk and how much they want me dead.”

“We’re stronger than them anyway.” Rey was sure that no one would be able to touch a strand of Ben’s hair, not on her watch.

“You’re going to fight your friends for me if it comes to that?” His face was of hope and she blushed immediately, only then realizing the meaning of her words and intention. She would never fight her friends, not before at least.

Kriff, she was so confused.

Thankfully she didn’t have to answer him; she didn’t know the answer. The Falcon was descending slowly, almost like they were assessing the danger. Which was comprehensible. The moment they landed and the ramp was out Rey was already ready to fight, having forgotten her own confusion faster than the Kessel run records.

Only two beings appeared. Lando and Chewie. Both were talking at the same time and Rey wasn’t understanding anything.

“Stop. Be reasonable and talk separately please, I didn’t understand if you’re going to kill him, imprison, torture, punish or what.” Lando laughed immediately but Chewbacca gruntled, signaling that they should enter the Falcon at once.

Rey looked again at Ben and he just shrugged indifferently. Didn't seem to be afraid of the reactions. That didn’t make her less hesitant.

“Girl, if his parents didn’t kill me when I handed them over to Vader ages ago, you can bet that he’s staying pretty much alive.”

Oh, well. That was a relief.

And news.

“Then I guess we have a lot to talk about.”

They did, and they all agreed with it. Gathered at the main hold of the falcon uncomfortably. Rey wasn't sure why both Chewie and Lando — respected heroes of the resistance — weren’t afraid or hesitant with Ben’s presence. Of course both have met him when he was only a child. But she is suspicious nonetheless. Chewie kept on grunting some words that were too low to understand and Lando was acting like he just won some prize. Ben didn’t sit beside her at the couch as she expected him to, but at a lone chair, facing them all. It felt like he was expecting his trial and they were the judges. Rey didn’t like the situation one bit. Didn’t matter that anyone was trying to kill or torture anyone. It was too uncomfortable.

“We have something strange going on young lads, would someone care to explain why the emperor, the first order or goddamn knows what it's going on up there just stopped their advances and stopped fricking fighting? Their stormtroopers are just there standing doing nothing and it's starting to freak me the kriff out.” Well, there was that.

“I'm the emperor's granddaughter.” Rey stated simply because there was no point in holding this kind of information right now.

Chewie grunted something about already having smelt it on her or whatever. She didn't expect much animosity on him given that it wouldn't be his first time trusting her without thinking about the odds.

“I killed him.” She moved her hands to simulate. “And now I have power over them or something.” 

“Or something.” Ben murmured.

“Well that explains-” Lando shrugged, still exasperated. “Something?”

“I also demanded that they stop fighting.” It was certainly a way of putting things in perspective. Only proved to her that monopoly power was disgusting. “Which is what I plan to keep while we organize how we're going to put some order on their mess.” She sighed. “I don’t intend to make myself empress, of course. But I figured that while I hold the power we won’t have any trouble.”

“We have to destroy their machinery.” Lando stated, like it was obvious. “Make sure those generals and high heads don’t hold power over any kind of army or massive spaceship.” He said it like it wasn’t a subject as big as it really was and Rey couldn’t blame him. “Again.” Lando Chuckled.

Rey hadn’t thought of that, actually. She was too focused on stopping the fight. But there were still a thousand Finalizers outside the fortress.

“There are countless Sith cultists on this planet. We have to plan on how to deal with them too.” She said, aware that they probably didn’t know about the planet's inhabitants.

“They can be buried altogether with the ships.”

“Agreed.”

Chewie grunted, clearly not satisfied with the way things were going.

“It’s a matter of war, Chewie.” Lando said. “They were going to die or to live and try to kill us.”

Both Lando and Chewbacca started arguing and Rey rolled her eyes, suddenly bored with this conversation. She noticed that Ben was still quiet, looking amused.

“What?” She raised her chin in question.

“If that’s how the resistance makes its decisions, no wonder it didn’t work against me.” It wasn’t, Rey didn’t make any decisions, she followed the general orders. But she chose to ignore him, uninterested in making an argument out of his commentary.

The force around him was distressed. That got her more interested.

“Space boy here is right. We should reunite first and then discuss our next steps.” Lando shushed an indignant Chewie. “I think that everyone here, given the way the little sand cat here showed her claws by lying, agrees that Ben Solo mustn't be announced like a war prize, correct?” Receiving a nod with the exception of Ben, he continued. “So what are we going to do with you?” It was a rhetorical question.

It must have been funny to him, being stared at by three resistance members with wonder eyes and humming without any blaster pointed.

“You two aren’t even gonna ask what happened?” His questions were almost inaudible.

“We know what is happening.” Lando stated and Chewie grunted in agreement. “You need our help.”

“And what makes you think that I’m not a threat to you? Lando?” Ben asked, teeth baring but without any aggression on his tone. It’s like he would get more comfortable if they did.

Not funny anymore, Rey guessed, probably unnerving. Not one of those resistance members cornering him was acting like he was the threat he expected to be. She could see his jaw tensing and wondered when he would lose his composure.. 

“I would still help you if you were. I owe this much to your parents.”

Chewie grunted, clearly annoyed but without any aggression.

“I’m thirty, too old for the time-out-corner, Chewie.” Ben said amused, although quietly shy. Maybe because of the guilt she could feel in him. What interested her is that Rey couldn’t guess for her life what the kriff time-out-corner could even mean. Must be a thing that only children with parents receive. Perks of being an orphan.

Chewie mewled and Ben started crying again. That sensitive fool.

“I’m glad you’re still alive too, Chewie.”