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Chapter Text

                                          ~

It was quiet. Far too quiet. Leo had always hated this type of silence.

But now this time there was no one else to listen to.

No Raph scolding him for slacking off, No twin to go bother with his unnecessarily exaggerated stories.. No little brother yelled at him for destroying the kitchen when he tried to make toast at 3am to distract himself from his unwanted thoughts.

It’s just him here. 

Him in this lifeless pit.

How long has he been drifting in here?

Surely Kraang will find him again to bring down his wrath upon his captor who too was enslaved in this cage.

Maybe it was meant to be this way. Maybe it's all Leo's bad luck catching up to him. Afterall, he was the one who lost the key. All because of his stupid arrogance.

But if anyone, Leo is glad it was him. Cause he doesn't know what he would do if it was someone else he cared about in his place. 

His moment of silence didn't last long though, and even though he hated it, he would rather the silence than what was coming his way.

Instinctively, his body tensed. well, as well as it could with the amount of injuries he sustained.

‘How am I even still alive?’

“There you are, you little pest. You can only hide for so long”

Leo saw the mechanical red eye move to his broken body before the krangg took another step.

“You have enslaved yourself here. It is your fault for playing martyr, who do you think you are? Some type of hero? The creatures of that earth are already destroying it with or without my help. You’ve only bought them time.”

Leo didn't speak, he only shut his eyes and braced himself for the impact that never came.

“The creatures of your world hates your kind, yet, you trapped yourself with death itself for them. Foolish thing to do really.”

Kraang’s voice spoke gravely as he stood hovering above the battered body. 

“And I will show you just how foolish it was.”

And there it was, the moment Leo was waiting for. The Kraang lifted its mechanical arms ready to crack open his shell for the second time. He braced for impact yet his body wasn't ready for the loud searing burn that made home on his neck, he felt the bug dig into his flesh. Ripping away his scales as he convulsed with pain, the sound was so animalistic that would have had his family screaming to make it stop. But there was no one here. Just Leo and the devil. And gods he so badly just wanted to be home right now. 

Kraang had a sickening malicious smile as he watched Leo writhe in pain.

Leo only had a second to breathe before his body was thrown back into random piece of floating concrete,

“Was it worth it?” the kraang whispered.

Leo stayed silent, hands around his neck, as if trying to expel the thing that had made its home in there. 

The krang did not like this, and with a mechanical claw he crushed the slider in its grip 

“I SAID, WAS. IT. WORTH. IT!?”

Leo could only gasp, all the air taken out of him as he felt his shell crack even more as the Kraang Flung him through the air again.

Leo thought he might have been dead cause he swore at that moment he saw an orange light that warmed up his body he hadn't even noticed he was cold until he felt his little brother’s ninpo.

Tears escaped his eyes as he saw his brothers looking back at him through the orange portal.

“T..took you guys long enough” he croaked, cracking a smile, throat still raw from earlier. He couldn't tell if they were real or not but he could have sworn he heard them call out his name through choked sobs.

Then their eyes went wide with fear and Leo made the mistake of looking down. 

His eyes never left the red dot. Afraid it would come to rip him away from this delirious dream.

The rest became a blur to Leo. His mind was stuck in a frozen panic that he couldn't feel his brother's ninpo safely pull him out and far far away from the empty pit.

‘He can't get my brothers. No no no I can't let him’

He was so out of it that he could barely recognize the words being said around him, he vaguely remembers muttering something before passing out and being carried somewhere by a gentle giant.

‘Is this what death feels like?’

Chapter Text

~

Leonardo jolted awake in cold sweat causing the old injuries on his shell to ache.

Clamping down on his tongue as a pained hiss escaped through his teeth.

It's been four years yet that day still haunts his mind.

The sun hasn't come up yet encasing the world in a dark capsule,

Yet breaking through the inky black the moon shone into the window of the hut,

It's been three years since Leo found this abandoned hut in the woods.

-three years since he said goodbye to everything he ever loved-

Barely anyone came in these woods, claiming it as “crawling with demon infested beings”

And the ones who were brave enough, were usually the monster hunters looking to bag the latest wanted prize, setting up traps to capture all kinds of creatures ranging from possessed yokai to harpies.

Captured monsters would usually be executed, which Leo felt was inhumane.

Many of these demons were docile unless provoked

-like leo-

Of course there were feral monsters that roamed these forests, the ones with an insatiable taste for human and yokai blood, they were not as common.

 It was a 30 minute walk to the nearest village. Which isn't bad, Leo needed the exercise anyways. And it was far away enough that they weren't in danger.

far enough away that he wouldn't be able to detect it if he went berserk.

.

The hearth was still warm from when the slider had lit it last night to cook. The food was never as great as Leo's younger brother’s cooking but at least it was edible.

-he still couldn't get that dang toaster to stop breaking on him-

Slowly, Leo shifted the charcoal around with a stick, watching little sparks of light from a dying fire flicker, he then grabbed the pot that hung above the fire and opened the lid,

‘Food is cold.. Shocker’

Slowly, he poured the last of the meal into a bowl and began to eat the cold soup. ‘I should go out and chop some wood today if I want to cook tonight..’

When he finished his sad bowl of soup he got up to set it in the sink, the water tank was still full from when he filled it two days ago, he washed the bowl in the cold water and set it back in the cupboard that was almost barren. The sun was just peaking out from the earth, encasing the world in a soft light when he grabbed his gear and stepped out of the hut. He went to the small garden he had cultivated last spring first,and he plucked the ripe vegetables and sweet potatoes in put them into a basket before getting read to make the 15 minute trek to the river bank with the carrying pole on his shoulders with buckets on each side, he could hear the forest start to wake up, the wild tokage darting back and forth and the birds chirping as he carefully avoided the traps the monster hunters had set out, occasionally setting off one or two just to make it safer for the little echo mice that followed him from a distance,

When he arrived at the bank he made sure to avoid the rock people’s territory, 

They were really protective of their homes..

Leo learned that out the hard way…

Wincing internally at the memory of being pummeled into the ground by a hoard of angry rock demons, he set down the buckets as he made his way to the rushing river.

When he finished filling the buckets he left a few cucumbers for the trolls as a thank you, 

He could tell they were watching him as he left, but he had other things to worry about,

Like the quickly rising sun. 

He knew the hunters would soon check their traps before they grow frustrated and give up.

The corner of his beak twitched up at that thought,

Leo had been terrorizing the different hunters that came up in hope to capture the demons, but he had always interfered with them. 

His way back was similarly simple, except for the mother oni he saw captured in one of the traps while her child cried for her.

‘I can't just leave her there..’

Sighing, Leo set down the heavy buckets of water and grabbed his dagger, walking closer to the trap.

He should have really thought this through. Cause the child was now bright red screaming at him as the slider covered the sides of his head. 

Leo bared his fangs in pain, that seemed to get a reaction because the mother oni had chittered for her child to stop. 

‘Gods this is the last time i help this kid’

Leo approached with more caution this time, holding his hands in the air, the child looked ready to defend its mother. Which Leo understood. He would have done anything to protect his father.

Shaking out of his thoughts, he focused back on cutting the rope off the mother and watched the small family disappear into the forest.

Leo took a deep breath and continued his path towards the hut, his thoughts racing, his heart felt heavier, he could feel the chunks that were missing, each hole gnawing at him like the parasite that had made its home in his neck all those years ago.

He misses his family.

-his family is better without him-

Chapter Text

The hunger was too insatiable to ignore. 

He was doing so well until now..

The lair, once a place that Leo could confide in, was in a state of chaos.

“LEO STOP KNOCK IT OFF” he could hear his brother’s frantic shouts but the sharp pain sting on the shoulder made him focus back on his target.

He was so hungry

A pained yell as he latched his fangs onto his prey.

-mikey was screaming-

“LEO GET OFF OF HIM” 

The last thing Leonardo felt was the taste of blood and two strong hands shoving him away with such force that his old shell injury retaliated.

And when he came back again he was slouched against the wall. His brothers were in front of him a couple feet away- hovered over a familiar furry body soaked with blood.

No..

Mikey was crying, raph had picked up the lifeless mound of fur and ran towards the medbay while Donatello was already on the phone with draxum.

All Leo could do was watch.

.

‘Im a monster’

-When Donnie had finally turned to check on Leo, his twin was no longer there. The wall where the slider had laid just a few moments was barren, with no trace that the blue turtle was even there-

~

The slider huffed as he lifted the sack of potatoes over his shoulder, the sun beating down relentlessly on its victim as Leo walked down the familiar dusty road of the farmers market. 

‘Grab fish and get out grab fish and get out grab fish- oh great zachery is coming over-’

The little kid yokai, zachery, probably only around seven or eight approached the masked turtle with little to no second thoughts that maybe Leo wanted to be left alone.

“HI MISTER AOI!!” the mongoose shouted, practically skipping on his way, 

Even though Leo tried to hide it, he had a soft spot for the kid.

“It's just Aoi, kid.” Leo grunted walking ahead but the kid had caught up to him easily.

“Okay mister!” the kid replied cheerfully,

Leo sighed, rubbing in between his eyes, “Does your mom know you're talking to me? Pretty sure she would chew you out if she knew” the slider spat still bitter, although it was quite reasonable for the villagers to be wary of the random guy that appears out of the forest every couple of days always wearing a hooded mask that shielded his appearance. Leo was pretty sure they only tolerated him because he always came with something to trade, and he would occasionally help the farmers with their crops when there was time to spare.

“..she doesnt have to know..” the red mongoose muttered, rubbing his short curly brown hair and shrinking into himself, 

Leo had made the wrong move by glancing over at the kid cause that little shit had activated his puppy eyes and that shit made leo give in. 

“Alright fine you can come along just stop with the eyes already god. You are a menace, you know that right? Absolute menace.”

The kid just cheered and sidled up to Leo's side and held onto his cape so he didn't get lost.

Leo rolled his eyes and handed him one of the apples he had in his bag. What?? He wasn't gonna let the kid starve for gods sake! 

For the rest of the shopping trip Zachary had never left Leo's side once, talking to him about all the things that had happened since the last time the slider was in town. Leo, who was half listening, just gave grunts in response, but that didn't dampen the little kid's spirit one bit. And if Leo was honest, he didn't mind it. It was better than the quiet.

~

The next time leo had visited the village zachary had brought along his friend jennika who was a green frog yokai with purple spots, jennika was only a year younger than zach and they were inseparable together.

It reminded Leo of his family..

Leo had been helping some of the farmers harvest their vegetables when they ran up to him,

“AOI AOI GUESS WHAT” the mongoose could have probably jumped all the way to the moon if it wasn't for jennika who was holding his hand trying to keep up. The duos were smiling so much that there was no way it wasn't painful.

Leo glanced up at them, standing up and crossed his arms.

“What are you two doing? You should be at school.” He grunted and the kids looked away suspiciously dodging eye contact before Leo huffed, shook his head and went back to picking the radishes, 

giddy with excitement jennika spoke, “WE GOT NEW PEOPLE COMING TO OUR VILLAGE. THEY SAY THERE HERE TO TRACK DOWN A EVIL DEMON”

“HEY I WANTED TO SAY IT” Zachary pouted.

Leo stiffened for a second too long that would have been noticeable to anyone other than the two adrenaline filled kids.

The slider took that moment to breathe before speaking, “is this what you wanted to tell me?” He grunted, digging into the ground with more force than necessary.

“Well yeah! Cause then you could see us more since you live in the woods and when the demons are gone you won't have to stay away for so long!” Zachary cheered. Leo's heart sank.

‘They're just kids ..’

Leo huffed, “we'll see”

~

It had been a week since the last time the slider had visited the village.

He felt bad but he didn't want to risk being caught.

But when he arrived he wasn't met with Zachary or jennika.

The village seemed tense . Leo had a gut feeling that It had to do with the absence of the kids 

‘What happened here??’

He continued his path with more caution. Whatever was wrong, he wouldn't be caught off guard. 

That's when he saw the familiar frog with purple spots. He sighed making his way towards the kid. 

“Hey kid, what's going on? What happened here?”

The once cheery kid that Leo had last talked to a week ago looked at him with haunted eyes.

“I..Zach..” her eyes welled up as she practically flung herself at Leo. He tensed for a minute, hands up in the air, he could feel the village watching him, shocked.

But hearing the girl sob and shake he ignored everything else.

He slowly wrapped his arms around the poor kid and coaxed her. “Shh it's alright. It's gonna be okay.” He muttered with such sincerity as he held the crying girl.

“He- we wanted to give you a present - “ jennika hiccuped, Leo felt his chest tighten.

“I told him not to go, I told him.” The girl shouted, Leo rubbed her back, his eyes haunted .

“He got turned into a monster Aoi. It was horrible, “ the girl cried.

Leo couldn't breathe.

‘It's my fault. If I just had told them to stay away-’

“Aoi?”

Jennika was looking up at him now.

Leo didn't know what to do.

‘its my fault’

Then he remembered something.

The monster hunters.

Leo put his hands on the yokai’s shoulder, kneeling to meet her gaze .

“Jennika. Have the hunters arrive yet.”

“Y-yeah a couple days ago why-”

Leo sprinted.

He doesn't remember the last time he had ran so fast 

-if you didn't count that night -

He bolted into the woods. Looking for that familiar red fur 

no no no he cant lose him. He can't lose another person-

That's when he heard it.

Zachary’s scream.

it was so terribly mangled. But Leo ran towards the sound anyway.

He saw the hunter standing over him with a blade in his chest.

He screamed.

Pushing the hunter off and grabbing the lifeless body of the child.

The sound he made made the hunter's blood curdle.

Leo lunged.

He didn't stop until the hunter was unrecognizable.

He painted heavily as he stood over the corpse.

Tears burned his eyes and poured down his cheek as he held Zachary to his chest. 

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry ‘

Chapter Text

For months Donatello had been trying to track down his twin, but no matter how hard he tried, Leonardo’s tracker continued to stay offline.

Michelangelo had tried to contact him by tracing his ninpo but it seemed as if the slider had put up a barrier between himself and his family.

Raphael didn't know what to do.

~

Leonardo knew that he messed up by leaving the hunter’s body in those woods. But he was too guilt ridden with grief to care in the moment.

He held the tiny child in his arms, he could feel his soul carving out another hole as the body grew colder. 

‘Its my fault..’

Zachary died at eight. Leo had only known him for a couple years but the mongoose had stubbornly crawled his way into the slider's mind and shown him a light that Leo thought had been extinguished.

Leo should have stayed away. He should have been more bitter. 

But he knew deep down that even if he tried to push him away, Zachary would have stuck to his side like glue. soul filled with life and a smile that infected everyone around him.

‘He didn't deserve this. He deserved to grow old and see the world’

.

Leonardo finally set down the corpse into the ground, he made sure to wrap him up in the warmest blanket he had. His heart twisted unforgivingly as he slowly buried the yokai child. 

 The grief was horrible. He felt as if he could have buried himself in that grave along with him.

But he couldn't do that. He wouldn't let himself succumb to the dark corners of his mind where he knew that that krang watched on. Laughing at him. Torturing him.

No. He was too stubborn to die.

-Even if the thought of death felt like a blessing to him some days.-

.

That night, Leonardo couldn't eat. He hasn't even started the fire. He just laid in the cold dark room staring at the ceiling as if it would collapse if he looked away.

‘It should have been me in that grave.’

He knew he couldn't go on like this. He could feel his hunger taking over again. He would have to harvest more ingredients to brew the elixir.

He can't let any more people get hurt.

But his body betrayed him. So there he stayed. Staring at the ceiling and sinking deeper into his grief.

.

Leo needed to get up. It's been three days for goodness sake. He couldn't go on like this. His head was killing him.

So slowly, he peeled himself off of his mattress. The weight in his heart weighing him down.

He felt nauseous. 

He needs to eat.

He grabbed one of the few bottles of elixirs he had left and swallowed it whole, it tasted horrible. Standing up groggily, His legs felt like they could give out under him, he continued to take a step forward until he somehow had wrapped himself up with his cloak and stepped outside. His mind was its own. Taking him towards his garden he had cultivated and cared for.

He picked one of the peppers and bit into its leathery flesh, juice dribbling down his chin, when he had finished he started his walk into the forest towards the river. 

He could really go for a swim about now. Maybe it would clear his head..

But he was distracted by a faint blue object in the distance, curiously, he approached the object until he could make out the outline, a teddy bear.

Leo's heart twisted around in his chest as he stood in front of the child’s toy. A note was taped to the front of its body.

.

*For mIster Aoi.

I am giving you mister bear becuz i dont need him anymore! 

Mama said i am a big boy now. So im giving him too you so you dont feel lonely anymore!

 Mister bear wil protect you and be there when you need hugs. Plez take good care of him. -Zachery*

.

Leo broke down right there, his knees giving out against the weight, he held the bear in his hands before squeezing against his chest as he bent over. Curled into himself,

‘Why? Why? Why? Why did he have to die?? He was just a kid! Why couldnt it have been me!?’

He screamed. The pain never stopped. He felt like he was dying again.

.

.

Leo was numb. He shouldn't have gotten attached. He was the reason that kid had died. He didn't deserve to mourn. So he continued on. Days became weeks. Weeks became months, And the slider just kept moving. His footsteps echoed heavily as he trudged on. He doesn't know why. But he wouldn't die. He won't give in so easily to the parasite.

-But He didnt feel like existing-

Chapter Text

“LEO IM SCARED” a younger Michelangelo cried from the top of the skate ramp. 

“It's okay I'm right here!” Leo shouted from the bottom, stubby arms stretched out in case the box turtle fell,

“I'll stay right here I promise!” the slider yelled, grinning with all of his baby teeth.

Michelangelo had never felt safer in that moment, 20 feet off the ground, balancing on a skateboard with all the strength that a six year old could manage. 

Because he knew his brother would catch him.

His brother was always there to catch him when he fell.

.

.

a year into the search, Michelangelo could no longer feel his brother’s ninpo. Not even a faint trace. Leo had put up so many barriers between him and his brothers that he had completely cut off the ninpo that flowed between them. Isolating himself in his pain. Michelangelo had never felt so lonely in his life.

’You said you would always catch me, Leo. But who was there to catch you?’

~

The morning sun spilled into the cabin in soft rays, and blanketed leo in a warm light.

He hissed as a cool breeze crept into the room from the window the slider had left open last night, nestling further into the sheets. He knows he’ll have to get up soon if he doesn't want to miss out on the good produce from the farmers market.

The birds were singing, which was nice. Leo hated it when it was quiet. 

Slowly he peeled away the blankets he had burrowed under, his shell ached and the floorboards underneath him creaked as he sat up from his mattress. 

Glass bottles clinked against his ankles as he brushed them away with his foot.

‘I need to get more of the ingredients while I'm at the village..’

Leo picked up one of the half empty potion bottles and swished it around in its container until it began to glow a vibrant orange, ‘should be enough until i can grab more..’

He then popped the lid off and swallowed the potion whole, it tasted horrible. But it was better than going crazy in front of a bunch of innocent yokai villagers..

It was a bit chilly today so Leo went for his regular hooded cloak and scarf, along with his gear and pants. He carefully wrapped each individual arm until none of his distinguishable stripes were visible, sure it might be a bit much for a simple walk to the village but Leo knew better than to let his guard down. 

He made that mistake too many times.

So sue him if he added a couple more ninja stars than necessary, it helps to be prepared!

And something was telling him that he would need it today.

And so, with a duffle bag strapped on his shoulders, he began his trek into the woods.

It was quiet for the majority of the walk, with the occasional tokage bristling past.

Leo could recognize the traps that the monster hunters had set out in these woods so he swiftly avoided them as best as he could on his way.

There haven't been many traps out recently, have they given up?

Regardless, after a good 15 minute hike, he hit the river bank that would lead him to the village,

The sun, even though it was early in the morning, was as bright as ever. 

It's not as bad as the fluorescent lights though..

Therefore, he settled for pulling his hood down to shield his sensitive eyes a bit more.

The tokage had long skittered away, deterred by the trolls that lived in the river and occasionally would eat them for a snack so it was back to just leo and the sound of rushing water.

He would love to go for a swim right now..

But he wouldn't. No matter how much his turtle side was longing for the cool relief of the water he understood the trolls that lived on the banks, and they would respect him if he respected them.

When he finally saw the village in view and sped up his pace.

Okay so what if he really liked mr murakami’s pastries when they were straight out of the oven? Everyone does!

.

.

-They reminded him of mikey-

.

.

Stepping into the small bakery the smell of Mr. Murakami's jam filled biscuits filled the air.

‘Seems like I'm the first one here’ Leo smiled to himself under the mask, it's not like Mr Murakami would see him anyway. See, Mr Murakami was a star-nosed mole yokai, and had really terrible eyesight. That's why he was the first to welcome Leo when he had first arrived at this village.

He couldn't see how horrifying Leo was

After that, Mr Murakami had become a friend to Aoi, Leo did feel bad about lying to him about his name but it was for safety.. Mr Murakami would understand.

“Aoi i see you are first in line like always” Mr Murakami’s voice was gentle and he was a great listener.

-It reminded him of tio hueso-

“Im sorry but im pretty sure you dont see much of anything anyways sir” leo smiled and brought down his mask to sample the tray of pastries Mr Murakami Had handed him,

To be honest, Mr Murakami’s shop doesn't open for another hour. But who's gonna tell on him for letting a kind friend in early?

“Mm Sir this might be the best batch you've made so far” Leo spoke between mouthfuls as he tried to stuff as much as he could down his throat. 

He didn't usually have a lot of food, so he wasn't picky about free food.

Murakami chuckled and handed the slider a napkin 

“Slow down kid, i cant have you choking, its bad for business”

Leo smiled as he accepted the napkin to wipe off the crumbs, he was going to reply until the sound of a fast paced mammal approaching the door distracted him, he quickly lifted his mask and turned his face away from the entrance just as the door opened.

Mr Murakami cleared his throat and started speaking to the yokai who seemed to all but clumsily fall its way into his store. “Im sorry ma’am but the store isn't opened for another hour” Leo could practically hear the smile that was etched on mr murakami’s face as he gently spoke, 

But the girl just stood confused, staring at the back of leos cloak and back at mr murakami before whining, “ugh but why is he here then?” the voice sounded irritated, but distracted,

Leo took that as his sign to quickly get out of there, but when he saw what the girl (orange fox yokai?) held in her hands, his chest tightened.

He needed to get out of here