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Chapter Text

Kim Taehyung's gaze roved over the crowd. All 15,000 seats inside KSPO Dome were sold out. The thousands of light sticks transformed the darkness into a dark purple galaxy with the in-house lighting adding star-shaped gobo effects.

It was a magnificent sight that Taehyung would never get tired of.

It was his bands' fifth back-to-back concert in Seoul. The tickets had sold out within seconds. He still found it hard to get his head around the fact that he, a guy from the outskirts of Daegu, could sell out one of the biggest concert venues in the country, together with his other members. And not only for one night, hell no, for an entire seven evenings in a row.

But fame was a fickle thing. He didn't like to think of himself as famous and hated being labelled as an idol.

His goal always had been to be a singer. A performer. He didn't care about fame, he craved recognition for his talent, for his art. Being recognized and making a name for himself in the ruthless and ever-evolving music industry had always been his dream.

The price for said recognition was the sleep-deprivation, the hectic schedules, the fact that he basically had been living out of a suitcase for the past five years, the social isolation, the loss of his private life and his peace of mind. In a way, his life was not his own anymore. He had lost the majority of his friends when his career had taken off and he hadn't been able to attend birthdays or his friends' weddings for more than two years at this point. His family was used to him missing Seollal and Chuseok. Almost a year ago to this day, his boyfriend had left him when he had had another major panic attack at the supermarkt and Taehyung had been halfway around the world, in the middle of a performance, unable to take his call. The split had been somewhat amicable, but Taehyung knew the truth. He knew that he had let his partner down.

At first, he had lied to himself. Had told himself that he was the victim of his unconventional lifestyle. That he was powerless, that he had no control over his schedule.

These days, he knew that he kept this lifestyle not by pressure but by choice. He wanted this. He wanted to be on the world stage. Music was his life. Singing and forming a connection with their audience via the medium of music was what he truly craved. Nothing and nobody would ever take a higher place than his art. Not even his ex-boyfriend whom he truly had considered the love of his life.

But…what did that say about him, Taehyung?

With that thought flitting through his mind, he re-adjusted his in-ear monitor which threatened to fall out. Ugh, he should have asked for it to be taped in place. Next costume change, he'd do it.

He watched one of his other members, Jimin, wipe the sweat from his face before playfully connecting his fist with Taehyung's shoulder. Taehyung made as if to fall, a soft smile playing on his lips. Jimin grabbed his upper arm and kept him in place.

The cheers of the crowd reverberated in his ears.

Jimin faced the masses. It was time for the third mini-game of the evening. For the crowd, it was a fun interaction with their favorite idols. For the members, it offered a small break to catch their breaths and reach for the water that was stationed behind the foldback speakers at the edge of the stage.

Taehyung greedily gulped down the water while listening to Jimin explain the game. It was a personal favorite of theirs.

One audience member had the chance to join them on stage with a song of their chosing. Either performing the vocals, the choreograpy or both, if they were daring enough.

It was a game that was well-received by their audience and it was a nice way for the members to interact with their fanbase.

Taehyung gestured to one of the young women in the front row. She seemed to be in her late teens or early twenties. Her t-shirt showed a picture of him and she waved her light stick excitedly as the two of them made eye contact. With a wide smile, Taehyung threw his empty water bottle in her direction. She caught it easily. The blush spreading all over her face and neck was kinda cute.

"I love youuuuuu."

Other fans burst out laughing at her high-pitched scream.

With a soft smile, Taehyung indicated a bow in her direction.

Yeah, interactions like those stroked his ego, not gonna lie. He felt no attraction to women but, seriously, who wouldn't feel like the king of the world when tons of people screamed your name and fantasized about you?

He watched as Yoongi pointed to someone in the audience and made a 'come here' gesture. It seemed like their contestant had been chosen.

Tonight was Yoongi's and Jin's turn to explain the game and interact with the participant. Taehyung took another sip before placing his new water bottle behind the speaker. He stayed in the hunched over position for a moment longer, using the opportunity to stretch his back muscles.

"Thank you for joining us for this game tonight. What is your name?"

Taehyung grinned at Yoongi's tone of voice. The guy always had the most fun with this mini game. Taehyung lazily picked at the beads on his bracelet. He was happy that the attention wasn't on him for the time being.

"Hi. Hey. Good evening. My name is Jeon Jungkook. Um, thank you for having me."

Taehyung's eyebrows shot up.

A dude?

Yoongi had picked a dude?

Interesting.

Not a lot of guys attended their concerts and it was the first time on this tour that they had a man as a contestant.

With a soft exhale, Taehyung finally got back up and turned towards their guest.

The guy (Jungkook was it? Or Jungseon? Jung-something.) was older than Taehyung had anticipated. Definitely not a teenager. More like mid- to late-twenties, around his own age. He had gentle features and the ends of his dark hair still showed traces of bleach. He must have been blonde at some point and then decided to let it grow out.

He wore an oversized baby pink knitted sweater, stylishly paired with some tight fitting jeans and black Converse with baby pink laces. The stage lighting caught on the studs and hoops that adorned his ears.

Cute.

Taehyung shook his head and averted his gaze. He caught Jimin's eye and the obvious smirk that his fellow member was giving him. It wasn't hard to know what his friend was thinking. The guy from the audience was Taehyung's type and Jimin knew. They had been friends long enough to not have any secrets between them.

Taehyung reciprocated the smirk and acknowledged the attraction with a shrug.

The guy's hands shook slightly as he got handed a microphone from a stagehand. His eyes were fixed on Yoongi as he explained the concept of the game and its rules.

"So….," Jin picked up the conversation, "What's it gonna be? A song or a dance? Or both? Our stage is your stage." As predicted, the audience giggled.

The guy's fingers tightened around the microphone.

"A song, if that's alright? I'd like to do Fake Love?"

The members quickly exchanged glances. This was bound to get exciting.

"You wanna do all the vocals? Or have us back you up?" Taehyung spoke before his brain was able to stop him. It wasn't his turn and this wasn't his contestant.

The random guy's attention turned towards him. Their eyes locked.

Dayum. He really is cute.

Taehyung felt the tips of his ears turn red. He quickly carded a hand through his blue hair. It had been dyed the week before and he still hadn't quite gotten used to the odd colour. But that wasn't the point right now. He pulled at the strands between his fingers, hard enough to feel the tension on his scalp.

The stranger looked at him as if talking to an idol was the most normal thing in the world. Standing on this big stage, being surrounded by people that had the power to bring thousands of fans to their knees. He just stood there as if it was no big deal.

Not that Taehyung wanted to be treated like an idol, Nah, it was just that he wasn't used to being treated like a normal human being most of the time. It was both odd and refreshing.

He listened to the stranger explaining that he'd be most comfortable performing the song with the members doing the dance routine while he himself wanted to stick to singing.

Okay, this sounded like it could actually be fun.

As the stage lighting dimmed into the pre-programmed setting for Fake Love, Taehyung got into position out of reflex.

Were they doing their regular routine? A quick glance at his other members confirmed that they were opting to do business as usual.

This was either going to be really good or mind-blowingly bad.

Taehyung hoped for the former.

The band started playing and Taehyung braced himself for the participant's singing voice.

Please don't let this be a cringe fest, please-

The quality of the stranger's voice almost made him forget the choreography. Was this man a professional? If not that, then he had at least many, many years of singing experience under his belt.

Taehyung listened intently as the guy made the song his own. It transformed into something he hadn't known it could be.

There was a pain to the lyrics, a new depth to it that hadn't been there before.

The stranger switched between the different vocal parts like a ship sailing on smooth waters. It was evident that he wasn't performing this for the first time. The way he owned the stage and blossomed in the limelight left all the members in awe.

With a smile, Taehyung executed his part of the choreography. He gave it his all and danced full out. This participant deserved his best. It was their turn to be on stage with a pro, not the other way around.

On the second refrain, they supported him with background vocals. The guy's voice blended in so well that it was almost frightening.

He held the microphone with practiced ease, moved it closer or further away from his mouth in accordance to the song.

Everyone in the audience had their phones out and was recording. The light sticks swayed to the rhythm of the music.

Goosebumps spread all over Taehyung's arms. They were basically the background group to a true master of the field.

With the next section of the choreography, it was Taehyung's turn to walk up behind the lead singer. As he executed his steps, his eyes landed on the stranger's hips. He tapped his foot to the beat and his hips did a thing that made Taehyung swallow hard.

He averted his eyes and focused on his own movements instead. The choreography asked for body contact but he didn't dare intrude into the stranger's space. Without breaking the sequence, he altered his choreography.

It was a quarter past ten. Almost the end of today's concert.

Ever since that mini-game, Taehyung had sought out that man in the audience. Jeon Jungkook. He was here with a woman. Girlfriend? Friend? Relative? Taehyung didn't know and the fact that he didn't bothered him. They appeared close. But while they hugged and sang along to all the songs, they never kissed. Taehyung was painfully aware of his hyperfixation with the stranger.

Well, to be fair, it had been a while since somebody had managed to get his attention in that way. He wasn't one to be swayed easily. Tonight was unexpected.

Taehyung was relieved when the band started playing their final song of the evening. He'd sneak one last look at Jeon Jungkook and then call it a night. And an end to the little fantasy playing in his head.

Chapter Text

Exasperated, Taehyung lowered his phone. It was the day after the concert. That concert. The internet was full of videos from that stranger's, Jeon Jungkook's, performance. The stans and the internet in general didn't sleep.

Videos and snapshots were blastered all across social media. What was worse, a short clip was going viral on TikTok. It had captured Taehyung's expression when he had approached Jungkook during a section of the choreography. Fan cameras had caught him gazing at the man with a softness in his eyes, one that he usually shielded behind a professional mask when performing. It left him a bit embarrassed. Of course, speculative remarks flooded the comment section. The online stans collectively agreed that he was smitten by the stranger. Great.

Taehyung felt exposed as if the fans had access to something private, something only meant for himself and, at most, his inner circle.

What was worse…the comments kind of had a point.

With a frustrated sound, Taehyung hauled his phone onto the couch where it bounced off the cushion without making a sound. The drop on the floor, in contrast, was an audible one.

Whatever.

Two concerts more to go in Seoul. Different videos would fight for the fans' attention soon. Social media was short-lived, always chasing trends. Today's news would be no big deal tomorrow.

It was during the performance of Idol, their second song in the line-up, that Taehyung caught sight of a certain person in the audience. Same seat as the night before. Accompanied by the same woman as well. She was clutching her light stick excitedly while he wore a fan shirt.

Black with white stripes on the sleeves and-

A big picture of Yoongi on the front.

Yoongi had spotted Jungkook as well. He continued to wave at the man multiple times, catching Jungkook's attention, and had fun posing for his smartphone camera. The bursts of jealousy Taehyung felt were hard for him to accept.

Taehyung barely managed to regain his balance as he bumped into Jin. Shit. His focus had slipped. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and forced himself to focus. The choreography was intricate and he was beginning to lose his composure, thus, making it dangerous for everyone on stage.

Why was Jungkook here again? Probably because he's a fan, duh.

Taehyung clenched his teeth as a wave of unfiltered anger washed over him. Anger at himself for being obsessed with a random dude. What was wrong with him?

They played that mini-game every night. It wasn't anything special. From time to time, they had contestants who sang well, no biggie, nothing out of the ordinary. So what was his fucking problem?

He had to get his ducks in a row if he didn't want to cause a social media circus.

It was a quarter past midnight already when Taehyung turned the alarm clock on his nightstand to face away from him. The dim blue digits did nothing to stop the thoughts in his head from racing. Behind the partition, Jin's breathing had evened out. They had been sharing a room for the better part of five years. Oftentimes, Jin fell asleep long before Taehyung did. Most of the time, the other man's soft breathing helped to alleviate Taehyung's tension and calmed him down. Tonight, not so much.

With a sigh, he picked up his iPhone off the wireless charging mat. A quick scroll through their group's social media feed confirmed that clips of their concerts in Seoul were still going viral, especially videos from Jungkook's performance the night before. Unable to stop himself, Taehyung scrolled through the comment section of a short clip with over a million likes. Someone had shared Jungkook's social media profile.

Is this him? I think I found him. He's a music teacher. Somebody confirm, please.

Sure enough, the handle checked out. jeon.jk.musician. The profile was public. Without hesitating, Taehyung clicked on it.

There were tons of shorts of Jungkook playing the acoustic guitar while singing. Also videos of him playing the piano. A version of Empire State of Mind by Alicia Keys, translated into Korean, was breathtakingly beautiful. Taehyung listened to it twice on his earpods. He was in love with Jungkook's voice and the way he captured the beauty of each song he performed.

Oddly enough, Jungkook had not shared clips of his performance at their concert. Odd. Very odd. You'd think he'd have enjoyed his two minutes of fame. Most people would.

Taehyung's finger hesitated on the 'switch profiles' function. He was still on the group's official Instagram account, not his own private one.

They were not supposed to have personal accounts. Their contracts prohibited it. Still, he had kept his old High School account. No posts. Just following friends and family from home.

v.dg.5758

As inconspicuous as it could get, right?

Before he could over-analyze his actions, Taehyung switched to his personal account. It took him a full minute before he pressed the 'message' button.

Hey. I saw your performance at the concert where you performed in front of thousands of people like it's your main job. You're a very talented singer with a solid technique. Did you study voice?

He hit send before his mind could process his actions.

Shit. He shouldn't have done that.

Well, too late now. But still. Shit.

Shit shit shit.

Three days passed without a reply. His message had been read, Taehyung could see that much. Maybe Jungkook was busy? Or, more likely, his inbox was flooded with similar messages after the viral attention he had gotten? It wasn't as if Taehyung couldn't relate.

And besides, he shouldn't be thinking about any of that.

Back to rehearsals for their next leg of shows.

It was after dance practice that a reply came in.

Thank you, you're very kind. Yes, I have a Bachelor of Music degree. I currently teach elementary school children (music).

Without hesitating, Taehyung responded.

Do you teach here in Seoul?

The status changed to 'read' immediately. The reply came one day later.

It's weird chatting with someone without a profile picture and zero posts. Are you a boy or a girl? Man or woman?

Taehyung put down the water bottle he had been drinking from.

Man. 26 years old. I'm sorry I weirded you out.

Jungkook: That's okay. I just found it odd. Are you into music as well?

Taehyung smiled.

Yeah. I love music. It's my passion.

For the next week or so, their chat went on like that. It gave Taehyung something to look forward to, a nice change from his gruelling schedule. Rehearsals and meetings during the day, performances in the evening.

They were coming to an end of their Korea-based shows.

Soon, the first leg of their international tour would start.

Their daily messages infused Taehyung with a different kind of energy. He learned that Jungkook was 25. A big fan of Yoongi, a lover of street food and very passionate about his teaching job and about reading webtoons. Tomb Raider King was his favorite.

Late at night, right before falling asleep, Taehyung started reading the series on his iPad. Jungkook really had good taste.

Taehyung felt the vibration of his phone in his pants' pocket just as he was going through airport security. The group was Japan-bound.

He fished out his phone while presenting his passport.

It was a message from Jungkook.

Are you based in Seoul, too, by any chance?

Taehyung: Yup.

Jungkook: Wanna grab a bite to eat tonight and talk about music?

Taehyung's face fell. He gave the security guard a polite smile but it held no warmth. He suddenly felt deflated. All the positive energy for the upcoming tour stops had left him.

He stared at his phone's screen. He started typing a reply, then deleted it. Started typing again. Paused. Deleted it again.

Another message from Jungkook.

No pressure. Only if you're free. Sorry, it was a dumb idea. Sorry.

This time, Taehyung was quick to reply.

No no. Not dumb, no. It's just that….I'm super busy right now. Would love to meet but work is…work is in the way.

Jungkook: I get it. Don't worry about it. Hey, what's your name by the way? It occured to me I never asked.

Taehyung: You can call me Tae.

Jungkook: Sweet. But is it Taemin? Taejoon? Taeyong? Now I'm nosy haha^^

Taehung grinned before typing his name.

Jungkook's reply almost sent him.

Wow, like one of my favorite artists, Kim Taehyung. Do you know him? I mean, who doesn't know him. Are you into K-Pop as well?

Taehyung laughed out loud. This was beginning to feel like a fever dream. But, strangely enough, a good one.

He caught Jimin's gaze as his friend eyed him curiously. A part of him wished that he'd be able to talk to him about his new friend. But he knew that it would land him in hot waters.

Besides, it was only an internet friend, no big deal. And wasn't he allowed to live a little?

Over the next three months, Taehyung's life consisted of being stuck in constant work-mode with about thirty minutes to an hour of down time in the evenings.

The world tour was exhausting. He got to be in a new city every week. He travelled around the globe without being able to experience anything the different cities had to offer.

At times, it got so bad that he confirmed the name of the city with their tour manager before stepping on stage.

But Taehyung lived for this lifestyle. He loved performing, he loved catering to the masses.

But with the addition of having an online chat buddy, something had changed.

There was a side of him that wanted to be home in Seoul. Not that Seoul was his actual home but Jungkook was in Seoul so it kinda had turned into the place where Taehyung wanted to be. Taehyung decided not to dwell on that thought too much and what it would reveal about himself.

He had gotten to enjoy the daily messages. They provided an anchor in the controlled chaos around him. They were something just for him, something between himself and Jungkook. Nobody in his inner circle knew about it.

Their conversations had reached a point where they texted each other good morning and good night and inquired about the other person's day and how they were holding up.

Earlier that week, Jungkook had texted 'I miss you'.

Taehyung still hadn't gotten over the butterflies those three simple words had ellicited. He had replied with 'Miss you, too, Jungkookie.'

Afterwards, he hadn't dared to check his messages in fear of rejection. The sentiment, paired with the affectionate address, maybe this was starting to turn into something else? Taehyung wasn't sure. He probably was reading too much into it.

It was during the group's dinner after the performance, surrounded by his other members, that Taehyung finally had the courage to open his Instagram messages.

There was a message from one of his buddies from middle school whom he had kept in touch with, a message from his cousin…and…Jungkook.

His hand trembled slightly as he clicked on it.

The message was short and simple:

➳♥

His heart beating like crazy, Taehyung pressed his phone against his chest.

Just like that, tonight had turned into something special for him.

.       .       .       .

I have a question for you. Can we facetime?

The message came in just as Taehyung was getting ready for tonight's sound check. It was their first concert in North America and the stakes were high.

No can do. My schedule won't allow it. Sorry.

He winced as he typed his reply.

Jungkook's response was immediate.

Fine, but I still need to ask you something. It's urgent. I need you to promise to be honest with me, please.

Taehyung: Now you're scaring me, Jun.

Jungkook: Please, I need this for my sanity.

Taehyung: Full honesty, I swear.

He gave an apologetic shrug to the sound engineer who fitted his beltpack transmitter. He knew he wasn't being cooperative right now but he didn't care.

Jungkook's long message made Taehyung's head spin.

Okay. Okay, I just need you to tell me that I'm delulu and that you won't ghost me because of it. I can't keep this in any longer. I just need you to tell me that you're not Kim Taehyung the K-Pop idol. Don't laugh! Please tell me I'm not losing it and that there's another reason behind it.

 Taehyung broke out in cold sweat. What the fuck?

A reason?

He had to correct the word two times because his hands were shaking too hard.

Cuz you won't meet me. You never facetime with me. I've sent you multiple voice messages and you always reply via text. You said your name is Taehyung and you're based in Seoul. But you're on work trips overseas whenever he is. You're unavailable whenever he's doing a concert or a tv show. So, please, tell me you're not some famous idol and that there's a logical reason for all of this and that I'm full-blown delulu.

A million emotions flooded Taehyung's system. He had never lied to Jungkook. In a way, he had been hiding in plain sight, especially the past couple of weeks.

He thought about what to reply. It all felt too superficial, too stupid.

Still shaking, Taehyung ran a hand through his now baby pink hair.

Shit. Fuck. Fucking fuck.

Was he about to lose his friend? That one connection that had started to mean a lot to him?

He flinched when the Stage Manager called places. His assistant gently nudged him. Taehyung handed her his cell phone.

"Jisoo, please take good care of my phone, alright?"

It was a stupid request. Of course his assistant was mindful of his belongings. It was just that, right now, his phone was the only thing guaranteeing his connection to Jungkook.

Chapter Text

Why would you think I'm that Kim Taehyung? Lol

Prove it that you're not.

Taehyung reluctantly handed his phone back to his assistant. He was sick to the stomach. The second half of tonight's show flew by in a daze. He danced full-out, sang his parts with the kind of perfection that stemmed from thousands of hours or practice. The crowd loved him. He reacted to the fans' hand-crafted posters and interacted with his other members in a way that would give the crowd endless hours of joyful video footage to watch over and over again.

It was business as usual. Only that a part of him had died when it became clear he couldn't continue the Instagram conversation with Jeon Jungkook.

Over the next weeks, Taehyung avidly kept an eye on all social media apps. He was glued to Instagram, TikTok and Naver Cafe.

But Jungkook never shared their PM's online. All that got shared on the apps were fan videos of their live performances and local TV interviews. Not a word got leaked.

Each night, Taehyung lay in his hotel bed, re-reading Jungkook's last paragraph and the parts where Jungkook had talked about his hobbies and interests. Jungkook wrote that he had a cat and spent a lot of his money on cat toys and CD's. He also collected photo cards of his favorite idols and took cooking classes in order to provide better nutrition for his aging parents whom he cared for. He taught music at a renowned private school and worked as a freelance musician on the side. His life was normal, cozily so.

For the first time, Taehyung was kind of envious. What would his life look like if he had picked a regular career?

If he was the one living in a small apartment in Seoul with maybe a Chihuahua and a collection of plants?

He smiled. His biggest hobby would be going to the movies. And music, of course. Music would always be a part of his life. But what would it be like to have a normal relationship? One that wasn't long-distance. One where he could actually see his boyfriend on the daily?

Up until now, he hadn't longed for any of this.

Just as he was about to set his phone on the wireless charging mat on the nightstand, the screen lit up.

Taehyung's heartbeat sped up as he saw who the message was from.

Tae, if my questions mean you ghost me, then I'll take it all back. Talk to me, please.

I can't lose this.

An emotion he couldn't put a name to spread in Taehyung's chest. It threatened to crawl up his throat and overwhelm him.

What was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to stay quiet when all he wanted was to hit that camera icon in the top right corner of the app?

His fingers had a mind of their own as they flew across the virtual keyboard of his iPhone.

I miss our conversations, Jungkookie.

Taehyung held his breath as he waited for a reply.

Then pretend I didn't ask you any of this. Can we go back to how things were before? Do you trust me?

Did he trust him?

Taehyung pulled the bedding tighter around himself. Wasn't this what it all came down to at the end of the day?

In terms of trust, he had a question to ask.

Jungkookie, why is this important to you?

The couple of minutes it took for Jungkook to reply felt like hours to Taehyung.

Because I like talking to you, Tae. Even though we've never met, I feel happy when we interact. Also, I've gotten used to you.

Taehyung turned to lie on his side, pulling the blanket over his head. He read the message a second time. And then a third.

The three dots indicating that Jungkook was writing appeared. And then-

 Gotten used to your messages, I mean.  ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)

 Taehyung snorted. Yeah, right.

He had been out of the dating game for a while but he hadn't turned oblivious. This was getting into flirtatious territory.

Then again, wouldn't everyone try to flirt with him if they had the chance?

Oh, come on, Taehyung. Stop tooting your own horn, he thought to himself.

Inwardly rolling his eyes at himself, Taehyung sent a smiley face back to Jungkook and then put his phone on the charging mat.

He turned to face the wall and tried to calm his racing thoughts. It'd be a miracle if he'd get any quality sleep after this conversation.

Chapter Text

Taehyung shot yet another side-eyed glance at Jimin.

The two of them had returned from Rome back to Korea the night before for an appearance on a popular talk show. The others members had stayed in Rome, relaxing on a rare day off. Their next trip would take them to Barcelona were they would perform two sold-out shows.

While the others went sightseeing, Jimin and Taehyung had packed a duffel bag and had made their way to the airport. They had caught a red-eye to Seoul. From the airport, it was straight to their apartment where they had immediately fallen asleep. Taehyung hadn't even changed into his pj's.

Now they had half the day at home before they had to be on their way to the TV station. It was back to the airport right after the recording of the show in order to meet up in Barcelona for their next gig.

By now, it was something they were used to but not something they both particularly enjoyed doing. Taehyung hated being on stage when jetlagged. Busy schedules like these sometimes gave him a tension headache so he was mindful not to overdo it and get as much rest as he could.

Right now, instead of sleeping, Jimin and him were huddled together on the living room sofa. Jimin had Taehyung's phone in hand and had been reading his and Jungkook's chat history for the better part of an hour. Taehyung had shown him only the important parts but still, it had taken a lot of time to catch up. Nobody told you how difficult it was to summarize a relationship into a couple of sentences, really. In the end, Taehyung had given up and had pulled out his phone.

Now that Jimin was kinda sorta up-to-date, Taehyung eyed him cautiously.

Would his friend be angry with him? Or worse, disappointed?

It had been a hard decision to open up about any of this. But at the same time, it had gotten impossible for Taehyung to keep all his warring emotions to himself. He needed to share this with somebody and who'd be better than his best friend? They had supported each other through the shittiest times in the past. Taehyung knew that this was something his best friend could handle. Still, it didn't make it any easier.

It took another couple of minutes before Jimin handed the iPhone back to its owner. Taehyung had the feeling he wanted to delay the inevitable. Not a good sign.

"Tae…"

Jimin pressed his hands onto his face and slowly rubbed his cheeks. His exhale was audible, strained.

"I know I fucked up."

The words were out before Taehyung had the chance to think them through.

Removing his hands from his face, Jimin turned towards him.

"This is serious, Tae. What were you thinking?"

Before Taehyung could respond, Jimin raised a hand in a deflecting gesture. "No, no. Don't say it. I'm sorry for being so accusatory. Let's rewind, okay?"

The two of them sat in the silence that followed.

Taehyung pulled his legs against his chest and slung his arms around them. He rested his head on his knees. A wayward strand of baby pink hair obstructed his vision. He didn't make the effort to brush it aside.

In the silence, Jimin reached out to him and put his hand on Taehyung's shoulder.

"Do you like him, Tae? Like him like him?"

Give it to Jimin to boil a complex situation down to its simplest form.

"Dunno," Taehyung shrugged. "We only really met once. Isn't it hard to like someone without having spent time with them? It's not as if…you know? Like, dunno, man."

Jimin used his hand to turn his friends' face towards him.

"Don't bullshit me, Tae. Do you like him?"

Taehyung searched his friend's eyes for any sign of anger or mistrust. There wasn't any.

"I do."

His voice was so quiet that the words were barely audible. But Jimin had heard him.

"You can't start a relationship with a fan."

Taehung nodded fervently. "I know." He swallowed. "I won't."

Jimin rubbed his shoulder in a soothing motion.

"But you're also more than an idol. You're a human being. You deserve a life. I mean, you're my best friend. I want you to be happy."

Some new emotion welled up inside Taehyung, one he hadn't felt in a long time. His eyes stung with tears.

He scooted closer towards Jimin and rested his head on his friend's shoulder.

"Thank you, Jiminnie."

The tears threatened to fall.

"What would I do without you?"

At that, Jimin gave a laugh. He pulled a handkerchief out of his jacket's pocket and handed it to Taehyung.

"First, let's make sure you don't do anything stupid."

He slung his arms around Taehyung's shoulders and hugged him for a second before removing himself from their closeness.

"Tae," Jimin's tone was serious. "This has the power to end your career. I don't want you to act rashly. If you're not serious about this dude, I'm unwilling to be a part of this. Do you understand me?"

Taehyung nodded.

"This probably leads to nothing anyway and we're all getting nervous for no reason at all," Taehyung said.

Jimin cracked his knuckles.

"I don't know about you, Tae, but I don't have a single friend whom I send 'I miss you' messages on the daily and who wishes me sweet dreams and asks me if I slept well."

At that, Taehyung gave a lopsided grin. "You don't?"

Jimin play-punched him against the chest. "If I had a person like that on the other end of my phone, you'd be the first to know, buddy."

.      .      .      .

The talk show was more fun than both Taehyung and Jimin had anticipated. Sure, they were tired but that didn't stop them from enjoying the experience. Apart from them, there were six other celebrity guests and the conversation flowed well and the topics were actually interesting and not the same old repeatedly asked questions.

A glance at the studio clock revealed that they were almost done with work for today. Good. Taehyung had hoped to get Tteokbokki before flying back out. If they didn't linger, they'd be on time to order some take-out before their driver picked them up for Incheon Airport.

But first, it seemed like the host wanted to ask him another question. Taehyung dutifully leaned forward slightly and gave a polite smile.

"Since we're all being friendly right now," the host led up to the question, "maybe allow me to ask a more personal question, Taehyung-ssi?"

Oops. What's that now?

"You mentioned earlier that you're more of a private person and that you don't trust people easily. So I was wondering what does it take to gain your trust?"

Ah. Not too scary. Whew.

Taehung crossed and uncrossed his legs, buying himself time.

"Well, like I said, it takes a while for me to trust someone. Probably comes with the nature of my work."

The audience chuckled just as he had intended.

"What it takes to gain my trust? I'd say it's a start when I learn that I can trust someone with my privacy. When personal communication doesn't get leaked, when I can begin to let my guard down and won't get disappointed. When I can tell someone about my day and mention that I miss them and it's not plastered on the internet five seconds after I text them. Privacy is a very important topic for me, I'm sure you understand. So when someone extends me the priviledge of treating me like a person and not only like a singer, that's when I start to gain trust. Because, first and foremost, I'm a person. I want what everybody else wants. Family, friendships, a sense of normalcy in this crazy lifestly. And if I were to tell someone, for instance, that I sleep with a plushie every night and that I hate taking showers early in the morning and that the last thing I do before I go to bed is check my phone for new messages, and a person kept that information private, then that's how I build trust. You know what I'm saying?"

Slightly out of breath, Taehung suddenly felt like he had said all too much and nothing substantial at all. He turned towards Jimin. The pointed look his friend was giving him spoke volumes.

Taehyung was dimly aware of the host's reply. His thoughts were threatening to spiral out of control and it took him great effort to keep them in check.

There'd be a time to worry about what he'd said but that time would be later. Not while he was on national television.

.      .      .      .

Taehyung had just finished the last of his Tteokbokki when his phone vibrated. He pushed the bowl away, reached for his phone and opened Instagram.

I also check for new messages before I go to bed. For messages from you.

Taehyung bit his lower lip. His chat buddy had gotten the hint, just as he secretly had hoped.

Before he could think of a reply, Jungkook's next message came through.

Welcome back to Seoul, by the way. But aren't you scheduled to perform in Barcelona soon? How is that going to work out? Am I asking too many questions? I'm sorry. Do you wanna talk about something else? Do you have your tiger plushie with you, by the way?

Taehyung grinned at the amount of questions Jungkook was shooting at him. Was Jungkook nervous? It certainly read that way.

About two weeks ago, the topic of their nighttime routines and sleeping habits had come up. While the conversation hadn't shifted into anything suggestive, Taehyung had let slip that he slept with a plushie. A tiger that doubled as both a cuddly toy and a spare pillow.

Taehyung got up from the sofa and walked towards the room he shared with Jin.

Their apartment could be considered small for seven people. Only one bathroom, a small kitchen and a living room which always felt too crowded when all seven members occupied it. But the apartment was close to the bustling streets of Gangnam and the unit had been freshly renovated when they had moved in. Everything was shiny and high-tech.

For the past five years, the group had been living here together. Taehyung felt at home here. Upon entering his and Jin's shared room, your gaze naturally fell on the big window on the opposite side. The dark-blue curtains were drawn right now but when they weren't, the window gave a nice view onto the fancy upper-class buildings of Apgujeong.

Jin's side of the room was very minimalistic. A bed, his wardrobe, and the desk with the massive gaming set-up. Okay, maybe not too minimalistic after all if you considered the set-up.

On his side, Taehyung had his simple Ikea bed, a small desk and a shelf with numerous plants. In the corner was a worn basketball from a time when he had more opportunities to go to the basketball court. By now, it had collected an impressive layer of dust. Taehyung made a mental note to do a deep-clean of his side of the room when he got back from tour.

They had a cleaning service come in but they weren't permitted to touch personal belongings, which was fine. Taehyung preferred to take care of his stuff himself. It gave him a sense of normalcy and grounded him in the present.

He left his slippers at the door and stepped onto the carpet in front of his bed. He took a CD from the shelf that served as a divider between his and Jin's part of the room.

With some classical music playing the background, Taehyung turned on the reading lamp on his bedside table and snapped a picture of his plushie tiger that was lying on his bed.

He double-checked whether his bed looked neat before he sent the image to Jungkook.

It's right here!

Would Jungkook consider him weird that he still kept a plushie on him when he travelled?

His mother had gifted it to him as a bit of a funny gesture before his debut. It had turned into something that reminded him of her and it allowed him to keep his family with him wherever he went.

Jungkook's reply was swift.

Does it have a name?

Taehyung chuckled.

No, cuz that would be weird.

He hit 'send' and immediately followed up with:

Now, do YOU have any weird quirks or hobbies that I should know about, Mister?

Oof, this was more flirtatious than he had intended it to be. Oh, well.

I do the Macarena dance every time before I board any form of public transport.

came Jungkook's reply.

Taehyung stared at the screen, at a complete loss as to what to say.

His phone beeped loudly at him with the arrival of Jungkook's next message.

Just kidding. I do no such thing.

Taehyung laughed out loud. His reply was short and sweet.

You weirdo!

Chapter Text

The Barcelona concert was a blast. It had been an outdoor stadium and the weather had been kind to them. The temperatures were slightly chilly which was rare for this time of year. Combined with the stage lighting and their demanding dance routines, it had been the perfect combination for Taehyung. He felt less exhausted than he normally did after a show.

It was after 11pm by the time the members arrived back at their hotel. Like his closest friends Jimin and Jin, Taehyung hadn't showered at the concert venue. Instead, he had changed into a warm hoodie and sweatpants and had towel-dried his hair. He had always felt more comfortable cleaning up properly at the hotel. It gave him more time to calm his mind and do a little mental re-set as well.

On the car ride back to their hotel, he devoured an entire KFC bucket for two menu and listened to a story Suga told about some hilarious incident at his brother's workplace.

As Taehyung entered his designated room, he checked his phone.

11:26pm. Local time in Spain.

6:26am in Seoul.

Jungkook must be running a bit late today, Taehyung thought. He usually got a 'good morning' text at 6am sharp. Jungkook's work schedule was like clock-work.

Just as Taehyung was taking off his hoodie, the anticipated ping of his iPhone alerted him to a new message.

It was a photo. For the first time ever, it was a photo.

Jungkook, half-dressed, in the dim lights of what appeared to be his living room. Floor-to-ceiling windows were visible in the background, the city lights adding an atmospheric glow.

The dark dress shirt Jungkook wore clung to his frame in a way that did things to Taehyung's stomach. The top buttons were open and a tie hung losely around Jungkook's neck.

His hair was tousled and the set of thick-framed glasses he wore completed the sexy professor vibe.

All other thoughts momentarily wiped from his mind, Taehyung leaned against the doorframe of his bathroom.

As you can see, I'm running late this morning.

That was the message that accompanied the picture.

Taehyung hesitated for a second…and then pinched his fingers on the screen to zoom in on the picture.

He took in the V-shape of the half-open shirt and Jungkook's bare chest. He wanted to run his index finger down that chest and feel Jungkook's skin. The warmth of his body. His heartbeat. Maybe open the rest of the buttons and-

Stop. You pervert. Don't lust after him like that. He'd think you're gross.

Would he, though? If this were any other scenario, Taehyung would have classified this pic as a thirst trap. Hell, he had stuff like that up on the group's official account as well. Shirt open, biting his lip, a seductive gaze. Pictures like that upped the engagement on their profile.

But this wasn't a public post on someone's official social media page. This was a picture intended just for him.

Taehyung bit the knuckle of his hand. Yes, this was indeed just for him.

But what if Jungkook had meant it in a friendly way? Like, really just letting him know that he was running late?

Friends don't send friends pictures like that, Taehyung's mind interjected.

He hesitated. There was a way to find out. If he was brave enough to be bold.

He typed his reply.

Do you know that it's bedtime for me? Sleep is NOT what comes to mind when you send me a sexy pic like that, you meanie.

After Taehyung hit the 'send' button, he did everything in his power to keep himself occupied. He took a long, hot shower, moisturized, brushed his teeth, even flossed his teeth before blow-drying his hair.

He meticulously unpacked his suitcase and put everything in its place even though they were only staying in Barcelona for two nights and he usually didn't bother with any kind of unpacking.

Now dressed in a fresh set of sweats, he took his phone and lay down on the huge double bed. When on tour, the record label didn't shy away from any expenses which he was thankful for.

He took a sip from the bottle of water he had taken from the hotel fridge and, finally, allowed himself to re-open Instagram.

I see I've achieved the desired effect…

Taehyung grabbed his tiger plushie and buried his face in the toys' fur.

This was real. He wasn't imagining things.

His heart hammered in his chest and he felt comfortably dizzy. He allowed himself to enjoy the feeling. It was even more intense than he had anticipated.

Thoughts about the future, about his fame and how it affected any relationship he might have threatened to hijack the logical part of his brain but he managed to keep his anxiety and uncertainty at bay. He hadn't felt like this in a long time and didn't want reality to ruin it. Not yet.

He moved his plushie to the side and replied to Jungkook's message.

What, your desired effect was to make me horny?!

Jungkook's reply was immediate.

So what if it was? What're you gonna do about it, huh?Being thousand of miles away and all~

 A familiar heat formed in Taehyung's stomach and travelled south. Unconsciously, he bit his lower lip.

Interesting. So that's where this is going?, he thought.

With a smirk, he sent off his reply.

Brat!

Only for you came the response. It almost yeeted Taehyung off the bed. Whoa, Jungkook knew how to play. He had to give him that.

Taehyung had a million ideas what to reply but he reigned himself in. He still didn't trust the man completely and there were a million ways how this could go south.

Jungkook had no proof that his chat buddy was a famous idol (the plushie picture didn't prove anything, after all) but Taehyung had been in this industry for too long and he had been burned before by trusting the wrong people.

If he wanted to play, there were easier, safer ways to do that. A quick conversation with his manager and a phone call and his needs would be taken care of. But that wasn't what he wanted. No, what he wanted was to-

Taehyung stopped this specific train of thought right there.

He wasn't allowed to want certain things. Wrong. He didn't allow himself to want certain things. He had picked this career, had picked this path with a goal in mind. He should stick to his dreams and aspirations. He had worked too hard to lose it.

Again, he wondered if he could truly trust Jeon Jungkook.

And if the answer was yes….

….where would that leave them?