Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rumi stared at herself in the mirror. For once, she wasn’t looking at the patterns. They hardly mattered, anymore. The worst possible thing had already happened. Zoey and Mira had seen them. The Honmoon had fallen to pieces right before her eyes. And they’d somehow come back from it. They’d fixed it, together. Maybe even made it better - Rumi could feel something different about it. The Honmoon may not have turned golden last night, but she swore that the colors shimmering across its surface had been brighter than the gold had ever been.

Zoey and Mira had seen it, too. They’d said so while the three of them stumbled home from Namsan tower, leaning on each other with the sun rising behind them. 

Everything that had happened last night seemed so far away now. The Idol Awards, Mira and Zoey finding out, Mira and Zoey looking at Rumi like they’d never seen her before. 

Rumi leaving Celine by the old tree, deciding that if she was going to go down, she’d go down swinging. It was her responsibility, after all. She’d broken the Honmoon. She couldn’t just let Gwi-Ma win without a fight.

She’d been prepared to go alone, but then Zoey and Mira came to her, embraced her, even with her patterns. And they'd won.

Back at the penthouse, Zoey had been the first to apologize, tears streaming down her face “Rumi…I'm so sorry…I was scared…I didn't I would never…” 

Mira had reached out and squeezed Zoey’s hand, then. 

" It's my fault,” Mira said " I didn't trust you. I didn't give you any time to explain yourself…I didn't even take the time to figure out what was happening.”

Rumi shook her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you guys… it’s just that Celine…” 

And then it had all spilled out at once.  Rumi told them everything .About how her father had been a demon. How her earliest memory was of Celine telling her to hide the patterns. About the way Celine had promised that when the Honmoon turned golden, the patterns would be gone. They way Celine had promised her that Zoey and Mira wouldn’t accept her, would leave her. She even told them about what had happened with Celine at the tree that night. 

Zoey and Mira had listened to it all. Then they’d embraced Rumi again. They held her, cried bitter tears with her. Promised that they loved her, that they wouldn't leave. That they loved her, patterns or no. That she didn’t have to hide anymore, that she didn’t have to keep the patterns a secret anymore. 

And then all three of them had promised each other. No more secrets. Nothing more that could tear them apart. They'd kept holding onto each other as golden light poured in through the windows, warming them into a quiet stupor. Rumi didn’t know who’d fallen asleep first, but she woke up in the early afternoon in a tangle of limbs with the other girls. She had quietly rolled away and stumbled to the bathroom, already scolding herself. I should have told them. I should have told them everything last night.

By the time she’d reached the bathroom sink, Rumi’s patterns had already taken on a dull purple hue. It scared her to see that color again, but that still wasn’t why she was staring in the mirror now.

Rumi carefully inspected her shoulders. Her hands. Her jaw. Half of her thought they already knew. How could they not? Maybe the hoodies had done something. But she wanted to be done wearing hoodies on hot days. Wanted Mira and Zoey to know. For better or for worse. She wanted to finally live her life without hiding from the two people closest to her, hiding from them in her own home. 

No more secrets, she’d promised. And she’d meant it. She’d thought of a thousand ways to tell them. Looked from Zoey to Mira while she held them. While they held her. She’d even opened her mouth to speak. But then a voice had whispered in her head, what if this is the final straw? What if they can’t handle this and the patterns? 

She had no reason to believe that Zoey and Mira wouldn’t take it well. They had always chosen the charity concerns they did, they public statements they’d make, and the foundations they’d fundraise for together. Together, Huntr/x had championed LGBTQ+ Rights. This wasn’t the same as being half-demon. Zoey and Mira could handle this.

But vulnerability is a skill, and Rumi hadn't had much practice at it. So she had looked them in the eyes. Nodded. Promised no more secrets. And then she’d fallen asleep with another secret lodged in her throat. And while she slept, the secret had climbed up her throat like bile, had worked its way into her brain. Had morphed itself into a horrible dream where she’d told them, and suddenly they were back underneath the stage at the Idol Awards. Mira and Zoey were brandishing their weapons, backing away. 

“Please,” she’d begged in the dream. “Don’t leave again! I can’t do this again!”

But they had left again. Just like the first time.

Rumi rubbed her eyes, turning away from the mirror and leaning against the sink. She could hear the others now. Slow, sleepy voices. The gentle clatter of dishes. Zoey and Mira were probably moving around the kitchen together, Mira sipping a cup of coffee while stirring something on the stove, Zoey climbing on the counters to get a box of cereal. It wasn’t surprising that they’d developed their own routine. Rumi had put up too many walls, pushed them away. A dull ache settled into her ribs as she thought of all the quiet mornings she’d missed, the movie nights, the dinner in. She’d used training with her sword as an excuse. Or practicing choreography on her own, or going downstairs to practice lyrics. She hadn’t exactly lied - she had really done those things. All in pursuit of the Golden Honmoon. The thing that was supposed to take the patterns away before Mira and Zoey could see.

Rumi dragged a hand down her face. She hadn’t even meant to hide this. Not like she’d hidden the patterns. It just hadn’t come up, and she was a private person anyway, and she wasn’t just going to bring it up out of nowhere. And hiding the patterns made it easy. The hoodies, the bathhouse, the carefully designed costumes…they all worked for more than one thing.

She didn’t want to miss Zoey and Mira anymore. Sure, they’d always have their own things. That was obvious. But she wanted to be part of their lives again. Wanted them to be part of hers.

It’s just like singing, or dancing, or even fighting, she told herself. You can’t overthink it. Some things, you just have to do.

She squared her shoulders and strolled to the door before her confidence could fail her. No more hiding, she told herself. No more secrets. 

Rumi flung the bathroom door open, accidentally slamming it into the wall. Zoey whirled at the noise and slipped from the counter, accidentally tossing her ceramic bowl across the room. Something like that wasn’t a problem for Zoey, though. She twisted in the air, her eyes already tracking the bowl, calculating its arc, its speed, its weight. She hit the floor running without making a sound - a skill Celine had drilled into all of them - and reached out to catch the bowl before it could shatter on the floor.

Mira snatched the bowl out of the air just before Zoey got to it. She turned it over in one hand, her long fingers easily palming it. With a disappointed look, she handed the bowl back to Zoey.

“I told you not to climb up there in your socks,” Mira said, turning back to the pan on the stove. 

“I was fine!” Zoey insisted. “I would have caught it! Rumi just startled me!”

Zoey and Mira turned to look at Rumi, as if suddenly remembering she was there. Rumi marched toward the kitchen, stopping at the edge of the counter. She closed her eyes and sighed.

“Rumi?” Mira’s voice. Slow, cautious. “You okay?”

Rumi opened her eyes. She glanced from Mira to Zoey and blurted, “No more secrets.”

Mira and Zoey looked at each other the way they always did when they shared a thought. Rumi didn’t have time to decipher what they were thinking, though. She had to press forward, or she knew she wouldn’t be able to get the words out. 

“I’m trans,” Rumi said quickly. 

Zoey’s crossed in front of Mira, expression even softer than usual. She reached for Rumi’s hand and squeezed it. Her eyes shone.

“Okay,” Zoey said. “You’re still Rumi, and I still love you. Thank you for trusting me with this.”

She paused, glancing back at Mira and whirling toward Rumi with a horrified expression. “Wait, I didn’t mean - are you still Rumi? If that’s not your name anymore I promise I won’t ever, ever say it again.”

“Actually, I - ” Rumi started.

Zoey interrupted her with a sudden gasp. “Wait, do you want help picking a new name? I have a whole notebook of boy names, because what if I have one someday? He’ll need a cool name. You can have any of them that you want, I’ll go find it!” 

Mira put a hand on Zoey’s shoulder, flicking off the stove with her other hand. “Zoey. Just listen for a minute.” 

She inclined her head at Rumi, gesturing for her to go on. 

Something warmed in Rumi’s chest. She loved the quiet way Mira could take control of a situation. The way she somehow knew what the others needed without ever asking.

Rumi cleared her throat. “I actually picked Rumi. I…don’t want a boy’s name. I’m a trans woman.”

Zoey’s face made a cute little “oh” shape, then she nodded. Her eyes twinkled again as she smiled up at Rumi. “Okay, so you are still Rumi. Well I still still love you! And I accept you and I think you’re pretty and valid and wonderful and amazing!”

Rumi allowed a smile to creep across her face. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the patterns on her hands flash silver, the purple slowly fading away. Three adjectives where one would have sufficed. That was Zoey. Sweet Zoey. Of course Zoey had accepted her.

She looked looked past Zoey, only to see Mira smirking. Her stomach dropped like a rock.

“Mira?” she asked, her voice suddenly small.

“Me too,” Mira said dryly. 

Rumi blinked, wondering if she’d heard correctly. “You…too?”

“Me too,” Mira said with a shrug. “So, obviously, I’m cool with it.”

She turned to the cabinet, grabbing three bowls. “Let’s go sit down and eat, we’ll talk about it.”

Mira picked up the spatula and spooned food into two of the three bowls before turning to look at Zoey. “You want some of this, or do you want cereal?”

“Hmmm,” Zoey said, putting a hand to her chin, then using the same hand to snap a finger gun at Mira. “Both?”

Mira nodded and spooned food into the third bowl, handing it to Zoey. She picked up the other two and passed one to Rumi before guiding all three of them toward the couch. 

Rumi’s thoughts were already spiraling again by the time she settled between Zoey and Mira on the couch. She cleared her throat again. “Mira…I’m sorry if we made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. I -”

“Whoa,” Mira said, mouth full. “That’s not what’s going on here. I just didn’t want you to feel pressured.”

“Pressured?” Rumi asked. Her brow furrowed, and she looked at Mira. “You knew? About me? And you didn’t say anything?”

“Yeah,” Mira shrugged. She swallowed, then explained. “I’m good at reading people, remember? And it’s easier to read someone when you’ve been in their shoes. I picked up on things you do…things I’ve done before. Things I still do. I figured you’d tell us when you were ready. And I didn’t say anything about myself, because if I did, I felt like you’d think you had to tell me in return. I wanted to give you the space. So I didn’t say anything to anyone. Not even you.”

“She didn’t even tell me that she knew about you!” Zoey chirped helpfully.

Rumi felt another rush of gratitude. Mira normally pushed for answers. Demanded them. She’d done it just days ago. But she hadn’t done it with this. Had let Rumi have this secret. One that didn’t endanger the Honmoon or the fans. And Mira had even waited until Rumi was comfortable to come out, herself. At least to Rumi. Rumi was sure Zoey knew. Those two told each other everything, and she had to know at this point, with - 

“Not even you, either,” Mira said, pulling Rumi out of her thoughts. 

“It wasn’t my story to tell. Besides,” Mira leaned forward on the couch and shot Zoey a teasing grin. “Liking secrets doesn’t mean you’re good at keeping them.”

Zoey shot up off the couch, a bowl of food in each hand. The contents of the bowls sloshed as she used them to gesture at her chest, but Zoey’s movements were far too fluid for anything to spill. “I can keep a secret! I didn’t tell Rumi you were trans, did I? No, because you asked me not to! And I didn’t even tell her about -”

Zoey’s eyes went wide and she slammed her mouth shut, facing forward and quietly dropping back onto the couch. The buns in her hair bounced a few times, but then Zoey was still. Way too still for Zoey. 

Rumi glanced between the girls, trying to guess what Zoey had been about to say. Tried to decipher the amused expression on Mira’s face. She gave up.

 I, Rumi decided. Am not good at reading people. 

She thought about how long she’d known Mira. Thought about how short the other girl’s pink hair had been when they first met. Thought about how she hardly ever cut it - only enough to keep it healthy. Thought about Mira’s height, her voice. Thought about the way Mira rarely talked about her parents. She grimaced. She knew that Mira’s parents had kicked her out as a teenager. Was this why? She could have been someone for Mira to talk to, someone to process that pain with. She’d let her own walls get so high that she couldn’t even see when Mira or Zoey needed her. 

Wait. Zoey had more to say. Time to stop building walls. Time to start building bridges. 

“Whatever you were going to tell me just now, Zoey…” Rumi began. “You can tell me. I promise I won’t judge you for it.”

Zoey turned bright red. Her lips twitched, like she was fighting to keep them shut. She looked at Mira, eyebrows raised. 

Mira inclined her head. “No more secrets. We promised.” 

Zoey gasped like she’d been holding her breath, then bounced out of her seat, setting both of her bowls on the table. She bobbed excitedly to the other side of the couch then plopped down next to Mira and grinned.

“Yeah okay so…so I already knew Mira’s trans. Mira told me because she tells me a lot of things,” Zoey said. She reached out and grabbed Mira’s hand, pulling it onto her lap. “And the reason she tells me lots of things is because I tell her lots of things. Like, even more than other people. Because Mira and I are like, together. Well, not like together, Just together together. Like dating. Like, girlfriends. Like, really really super in love and we’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you!”

Rumi blinked again. She opened her mouth, then closed it. Then a mischievous smile spread across her face. 

"That,” Rumi laughed, "was a secret?”

Chapter Text

Zoey stared at Rumi, mortified. Rumi knew? But they'd been so careful! They'd been sneaking around for months! Mira had pretended to like man-abs! Or demon abs? Whatever. Zoey had given her very gay girlfriend a crash course in talking about hot guys just for Rumi's benefit, and not even that had worked.

Mira's voice pulled her from her thoughts. “You knew?” 

“Guys,” Rumi giggled. “I've known for months. It's not a secret if you make it that obvious.”

“Obvious?” Mira asked, incredulous.

“Yeah!” Zoey added. “We were so sneaky!” 

Rumi only laughed harder. “You were not! Just last week, I came home and saw you two making out by the stove!”

Mira shot Zoey a pointed glance. “I told you she was gonna catch us.” 

Zoey didn't let the comment bother her. Mira could never stay mad at her for more than a few seconds, anyway. Instead, she hopped up off the couch and started pacing. “Okay, but that was just last week. How could you have known for months? We limited movie nights to two days a week! We staggered our wakeup times!”

She threw her hands up in the air. “Mira pretended to like man-demon-abs!”

Rumi stopped laughing long enough to wipe a tear from her eye. “I like man abs. And woman abs. And anyone else's abs. I figured Mira was just the same way.”

Zoey sat down, defeated. “Okay, damn. I mean, same, so I probably should have thought of that. But did you just come out twice in like ten minutes?”

Rumi shrugged. “That one wasn’t even a secret. No one ever asked.”

Mira shook her head. “I told you there was no point in me pretending to like that guy. Or demon. Whatever he was. All it did was feed his stupid ego. Yuck.”

“Yeah, pointless” Rumi said, laughing again. “Because you were even more obvious than Zoey!”

Zoey watched all five stages of grief flicker across Mira’s face in a matter of seconds. Something about that delighted Zoey, despite the fact that all of her brilliant plans had failed. Mira didn't get confused. Or embarrassed. And right now, she was both. Zoey leaned in. “Oh? Mira was even more obvious than me, you say?”

“She watched every single thirty-second video you showed her on the plane every day of the tour,” Rumi said. “And then listened to you repeat all the turtle or skateboarding or food facts from the video you had just showed her. You are the only person in the world Mira has that kind of social battery for.”

“And,” Rumi turned to Mira. “You never liked video games. Until last year, when you suddenly developed a love for hero shooters, but only when you could be Zoey’s pocket healer?”

Mira raised an eyebrow. “You know what a pocket healer is?” 

Rumi waved her off. “I’ve seen enough of you two playing. I know that tactically speaking, it’s a bad idea. You know better. And I know you. I know how you fight. You like to be up front, swinging, making space. You would never just sit in the back like that. Unless the only thing you cared about was making sure Zoey had as much fun as possible.”

Zoey loved the way Mira squirmed at that. This was fun. 

Also, she thought, note to self to tease big, tough Mira for secretly being an adorable lover girl, even video games. And also to thank her for pocketing me for the last year. And maybe also apologize for not realizing she’s the reason I suddenly got so good.

“Keep going,” Zoey bounced in her seat. “Tell us more about how sweet and cute Mira is!”

Mira shot her a glare, and Zoey bit back a giggle. Mira did not like being called cute, and Zoey knew it. But she’d tolerate it coming from Zoey. 

Rumi either didn’t notice the glare, or she enjoyed embarrassing Mira too. “I mean, Mira, you let Zoey fall asleep on your shoulder almost every day of the tour. You know her go-to lunch order in thirty different countries. And don’t even get me started on practice. After years of us learning all the choreography just fine by watching, you suddenly start touching Zoey to move her into the right positions? I mean, you don’t just casually put your hands on - ” 

“Okay, okay, we get it!” Mira interrupted. “I’m obvious and embarrassing about loving my girlfriend. Sue me.” 

Mira crossed her arms, and Zoey bit back another giggle. She had never seen Mira’s face this red before. Never. Mira was usually so smooth and cool. She didn’t get flustered like this. It was delicious.

“Sorry,” Rumi said, apparently noticing how red Mira’s face was. She picked up her bowl, finally starting in on the food. “I shouldn't have laughed like that. I just really didn't think that was a secret. I've seen the way you two look at each other for years, so when something changed, I assumed you finally figured it out. And Bobby knew, so I figured you two told him.”

Zoey sat up straight. “Bobby knows?” 

“Yeah,” Rumi said. “He -” she put up a finger, taking several seconds to chew and swallow the massive bite of food she'd just put in her mouth. “He’d go on and on about how cute you two were any time the rest of the crew was out of earshot. He drafted a whole PR plan in case you wanted to go public, and another one in case you didn’t want to go public but fans started catching on. He asked me to review them a few months ago. I guess I assumed you two had seen them way before I did.”

“Of course he wrote plans,” Mira said. She sounded annoyed, but Zoey knew her well enough to pick up on the hint of warmth in her voice. Mira loved Bobby like a father. And why wouldn’t she? Bobby always had their backs. Always looked out for them. Had been there for Mira in a way her real dad never was.

“Okay, so you, Bobby…who else knows?” Mira asked cautiously. 

“That’s it, as far as I know. Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re so obvious that fans have anything beyond the normal crazy theories.” Rumi stuffed another bite into her mouth. “This is really good, Mira.”

“Thank you,” Mira said, a rare smile creeping onto her face. Something caught in Zoey’s chest. That stupid, crooked smile when Mira was trying to be all stoic and tough. When she didn't want anyone to know they'd gotten to her. Zoey loved that smile. Tried to make it happen as often as she could.

“So,” Rumi said. “When was it official? Sometime during the world tour, but when specifically?”

Mira glanced at Zoey, the crooked smile growing. Zoey's stomach did a little flip.

“Toronto,” Mira said. “Second show.”

Rumi nodded, considering the information. Zoey tugged at the edge of her oversized t-shirt, trying to hide her own grin. Toronto. The snow storm. Almost five months ago.

***

Growing up in California, Zoey had seen snow in the movies plenty of times. Never in real life, though. She couldn’t wait to see the real thing. It had to happen sometime. Probably around Christmas, like in the movies. She already had a plan: snowman first, then snowball fight, then snow angels. She’d been devastated when, at the age of five, her mom explained to her that it never snowed in LA, not even on Christmas. 

She’d finally gotten to see it for the first time after moving to Seoul. It had been there to greet her when she got off the plane, like a promise that things would be different in Seoul. Better. Almost unreal. Like, in what world did fluffy little white stuff that you could pick up and throw and eat just fall from the sky? That shit was magical. 

Zoey didn’t think she was going to get to see snow this year. The world tour had taken them through Europe during the warm summer months, then to South America during the winter. Or - Seoul’s winter. The seasons were different in the southern hemisphere, a fact that disappointed Zoey all through December and January. They’d spent February and March in cities like Atlanta, or LA, or San Diego. By the time March rolled around and they finally worked their way north again, Zoey had given up. 

But when she and Mira made their way outside after the second and final night of their Toronto series, there it was. A fresh, fluffy blanket on the sidewalk. In April. April! Giant flakes drifting lazily from above, illuminated under the streetlights for just a moment before falling into the growing layer on the ground. 

Zoey did the only reasonable thing. She shrieked like a little girl.

“Ow, Zoey,” Mira said, holding a hand over her ear. “What?”

Zoey grabbed Mira by the wrist, pulling her down the street. “Snow, Mira! Look!”

“Okay, okay, I see it,” Mira said. “The car Bobby sent for us is this way, though.” 

Zoey tugged Mira further down the street. “It can take Rumi, she’ll be stuck in that interview for a while anyway! Let’s walk to the hotel, it’s not that far! I want to be with the snowflakes!”

“You’re such a dork,” Mira said.

“And you could use a little more fun and whimsy in your life!” Zoey replied. She scooped up a tiny piece of snow and smushed it into the end of Mira’s nose. 

Mira staggered back, blinking. Then her eyes narrowed mischievously. “Are you trying to start a snowball fight with me?”

Zoey loved that look. Loved that voice. Loved these moments when she could get Mira to stop being so serious and just be there. She shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Okay, California girl,” Mira said, kneeling on the sidewalk. “Don’t start a fight you can’t finish.”

She stood and raised a perfect snowball, then cocked her head playfully. The message was clear. Run. 

Zoey squealed like a little girl and took off down the street, zig-zagging to throw off Mira’s aim. The snowball hit her anyway, right between the shoulder blades. It didn’t hurt. Mira hadn’t thrown it nearly as hard as she could have. It was just enough to feel. Just enough to say I got you. 

Laughing, Zoey reached down and packed a tiny snowball into each hand. She whirled, using the slick sidewalk to aid her turn. Mira shifted to avoid the first snowball, inadvertently moving right into the path of the second. Right where Zoey knew she would be. It caught her below the collarbone, and bits of ice and powder sprayed across the exposed skin of Mira's neck.

“That’s cold!” she gasped. 

Zoey pirouetted away, finishing with a graceful bow. “Don’t start a fight you can’t finish, Mira! Do you know how many hours a day Celine makes me spend throwing things?”

Mira’s face broke into a full smile. Not one of the crooked grins she usually tried to hide, a full on smile. Zoey’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She couldn’t quite decide if that was because Mira looked so pretty, or if it was because she knew she was very much in danger. 

“Oh it’s on,” Mira said, scooping up another handful of snow. Zoey ran again, laughing and dodging Mira’s throws. Occasionally, she’d reach down to make a snowball of her own, but that was hard to do without getting hit. Mira was fast when she wanted to be. 

Zoey finally stopped in front of the hotel, panting. “Truce?”

“Hmmm,” Mira considered. “Only if you drop that snowball you’re hiding behind your back.”

“What snowball?” Zoey asked, struggling to keep a straight face.

Mira crossed her arms. “Oh, what snowball? Show me your hands.”

Reluctantly, Zoey raised both hands. The snowball she’d been hiding fell to the ground. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Mira said. 

Zoey rubbed her hands together. “That thing was getting way too cold to hold on to, anyway. My hands are freezing!”

“Let me see.” Mira stepped closer, wrapping her long fingers around Zoey’s hands.

Zoey froze, suddenly very aware of how close Mira was. It wasn’t exactly new for them to be in each others’ personal space - it was kind of unavoidable with the choreography routines. It wasn’t even that new for them to be this close outside of practice or a show. But every time it had happened before, it ended quickly. One of them always broke away, muttering something unintelligible before becoming very interested in anything else. This was different. Mira just stood there, warming Zoey’s hands. And Zoey didn’t pull away. She didn’t want to.

Even since before their debut, Zoey had been trying very hard not to think about the way she felt about Mira. She didn’t know if Mira felt the same, and that made acting on a silly little crush risky. Too risky even for Zoey. What if she opened her big mouth and confessed something that freaked Mira out, scared her off? She’d lose her best friend. Maybe even ruin Huntr/x, and then how were they supposed to save the world, seal the Honmoon? 

Lead with your head, not with your heart, Zoey told herself. Celine’s words. Something she’d taught Zoey in one of their first solo lessons together. Leading with your heart let the demons prey on your weaknesses, find your vulnerabilities. Hunters couldn’t let their feelings run wild. The way Zoey felt about Mira was too dangerous, too - 

“Better?” Mira asked, pulling Zoey from her thoughts. Zoey nodded, but kept her eyes carefully locked on the ground. 

“Hey,” Mira said. “Zoey.”

Slowly, carefully, Zoey risked raising her eyes to meet Mira’s. Her heart pounded in her chest. Their faces were inches apart. Mira’s long bangs nearly touched Zoey’s cheeks. It would be so easy right now. So easy to risk it all. So easy to do something incredibly stupid. 

Even Mira looked a little shocked at how close they were. But for once, she didn’t pull away. 

Zoey considered backing off, shoving her hands into her pockets, and heading into the hotel. That would be the smart option. The professional option. The head over heart option. But even if she’d wanted to do that, she didn’t think she could tear herself away. Mira’s hands were warm, and her eyes were filled with something even warmer. Something soft that invited Zoey in. She could barely even feel the sting of the cold air on her face. No, she didn’t want to move at all. But she had to say something, had to break this tension before she did the stupid thing she couldn’t stop thinking about. 

“You uh, rang?” Zoey forced an awkward smile. What a stupid thing to say. But better than actually doing something stupid.

Mira huffed, amused. When the hot air hit Zoey’s face, it took all her strength to stop herself from drinking it in.

“Yeah,” Mira said. “I - I just wanted to say I really like this. Hanging out with you. I mean I know we spend all day together, but I like it when it’s like this. No plans, no training. Just goofing around.”

Mira offered a clumsy, crooked smile. Zoey watched the way her lips moved, the way they stretched and glistened under the streetlights.

“Yeah,” Zoey said. “Me too.”

And then she did something incredibly stupid. 

The kiss didn’t last long. Maybe a few seconds. It was clumsy, rushed. Hungry. But it didn’t matter. Zoey was finally, finally kissing Mira. And Mira was kissing her back.

Zoey pulled away suddenly. “Sorry, is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Mira said. “I’ve been hoping you would do that for a while now.”

Mira leaned in for another kiss, and Zoey closed her eyes to accept it. A million thoughts raced through her mind. A while? Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you just kiss me then? How many months did we waste because we were too scared to do something about it? 

She finally decided she didn’t care. Mira was careful, guarded. She was never going to be the one to expose herself like that, make the first move. It didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that Zoey and Mira were standing outside in the middle of a snowstorm sometime after midnight, holding hands. And they’d just kissed. Twice.

“Mira,” Zoey said. “I really like you. Like, really like you. And, I -”

Zoey’s voice caught. Her heart felt like it was going to climb all the way up her throat and fall out of her mouth. Why was this so hard? She fought demons on the weekends, for crying out loud!

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” Zoey blurted. “And if you don’t want to do that, then that’s totally okay, and we can just forget this whole thing ever happened, but -” 

“Zoey,” Mira interrupted. “I want to be your girlfriend.”

Zoey stared into Mira’s eyes. That soft thing she’d seen before was still there. Still in those eyes that were normally so steely, so tough. Zoey thought she might be able to get used to Mira looking at her like that. 

“So,” Mira said quietly. “Girlfriends?”

Zoey nodded, smiling so wide that it hurt her cheeks. The butterflies in her stomach had vanished, replaced with a bubbling excitement she could barely contain.

“Yes,” Zoey bounced on her toes. “Yes, yes, yes, yes.”

She slammed into Mira, wrapping her in a way-too-tight hug. Mira didn’t complain. She just pulled Zoey closer, swaying slowly.

“Come on,” Mira said. “It’s freezing out here. Let’s get inside.”

Zoey nodded and grabbed Mira’s hand. She squeezed it. Mira squeezed back. And then together, finally, finally together, they pushed through the hotel doors.

*** 

Mira’s voice pulled Zoey back to the present. “Zoey. Zoey? You with us?”

“Yep!” Zoey squeaked. “Just thinking. About Toronto.”

Zoey wasn’t sure how much of the conversation she’d missed, but the looks she got from the other girls told her they’d moved well past Toronto. She got lost in her head like that sometimes. The others were used to it, they’d be fine. She hopped up from the couch, collected everyone’s dishes, and carried them to the sink.

“Hey Rumi, super random question,” Zoey said over her shoulder. Something had been gnawing at her ever since Rumi revealed she knew about Zoey and Mira’s relationship. She figured she’d already caused a pause in the conversation, so now was as good a time to ask as any.

“Yeah?” Rumi said.

Zoey ran water over the dishes and grabbed the sponge from the edge of the sink. “Do you have any like, special demon powers? Like can you see in the dark? Or do you have super smell, or super hearing? Or wait, can you fly?”

“Well,” Rumi said from the couch. “Last night I guess I teleported like one. When I left Celine. Once I resolved to stop Gwi-ma, I just…showed up at Namsan Tower.”

“WHAT?” Zoey leapt out of the kitchen, forgetting all about the water still running in the sink. “That is SO COOL! Show me! Ooh wait, I know! Go get the big turtle plushie off of my bed! The blue one!”

“I don’t actually know how I did it,” Rumi admitted. “And I…I’m kind of scared to. I don’t want to lose control again.”

Zoey nodded. She was a little disappointed, but that was fair. She turned back to the sink, rinsed the dishes, and shut off the water. Then she realized that she hadn’t exactly gotten the answer she needed. 

“So,” Zoey said, making her way back to the couch. “No special hearing? You don't like, hear things better than other people? Like Superman?”

“Zoey,” Mira’s voice was low, like she was warning Zoey that she knew exactly where this line of questioning was going, and she didn’t like it.

Rumi shook her head. “I don't think so. I can handle the volume on the stage during shows just fine, and I think that would hurt me if I had special hearing.” 

Zoey let out a sigh of relief that was just a little louder than she'd intended and flopped back against the couch cushions. 

Rumi furrowed her eyebrows. “Wait, are you asking…?” 

She glanced down, pulling her long braid into her lap the way she always did when she was nervous.

Shit, Zoey thought. Caught. She watched the red climbing up Rumi’s face, waiting for the rest. She knew she shouldn't have brought it up, but once the thought entered her mind, she couldn't let it go. All she could do now was wait for Rumi to draw out the contents of the Pandora’s box she'd opened.

Rumi looked up, a wry smile on her face. “We share a wall, Zoey.”

Zoey felt the heat rising in her cheeks, saw Mira's face turning just as red as Rumi’s. She leapt off the couch again, pointing an accusatory finger directly at Mira. “I told you it wasn’t safe to use my room!” 

Mira held up her hands in defense. “Well sorry for thinking this very expensive penthouse would have halfway decent soundproofing.” 

She looked at Rumi. “And uh. Sorry if we ever…kept you up.” 

Rumi chuckled. “It’s fine, you guys. Honestly it’s kind of been the least of my concerns, with everything else going on. I’m happy for you, really.”

“Thanks, Rumi,” Zoey said. “Honestly, we were a little worried about how you’d react.”

“What? Why?” Rumi sounded horrified. “You’re my best friends!”

Mira shifted on the couch. “Well, it’s not exactly professional, and you’re kind of a stickler about PR.”

Rumi grimaced. “Cancelling shows last minute and having a total meltdown on stage isn’t exactly professional either. I don’t think I’m in a position to talk. I’ll probably leave the PR stuff to Bobby for a while.

“Speaking of which,” Rumi stood up, pacing. “Has anyone talked to Bobby? I should call him. Everyone thinks we broke up at the Idol Awards, and who knows what they remember from Namsan tower. We need to get on top of that. Schedule a comeback show. I know we agreed on a break, so we don’t have to do it right away. But the news should be enough to -”

“Slow down, PR queen,” Mira said. “Bobby knows what he’s doing. Let him handle it. I texted him this morning, gave him enough to spin it. A break’s a break, and we all need one.”

“Besides,” Zoey glanced excitedly from Mira to Rumi. “You still owe us a trip to the bathhouse!”

Rumi’s face fell. “Zoey, when I made that promise, I thought my patterns would be gone by now. The bathhouse sounds really nice, but I don’t know how to explain these to the public yet. And…if it gets out that I’m trans…”

“Oh, don’t worry about that!” Zoey said, grabbing her phone. “I have it handled!”

“Zoey has a connection there or something,” Mira explained. “It’s always completely empty when we go.”

“Oh,” Rumi said. “Well, okay then. Yes, I will go to the bathhouse with you.”

Zoey bounced off of the couch and wrapped her arms around Rumi. “You’re gonna love it! I’ll call them right away! How’s tomorrow? Is tomorrow good for everyone?”

“I think we’re all kind of spent,” Mira said. “Maybe a few more days?”

“Got it!” Zoey pointed at Mira with the bunny ears on her phone case. “A few days.”

She bounced out of the room, already pulling up the number. She didn’t have a special connection at the bathhouse so much as a fistful of Huntr/x cash. She had first tried to convince Rumi and Mira to go to the bathhouse with her years ago. They’d both said no. But late that night, Mira had knocked on her door. Sat down on her bed. Opened up in a very un-Mira way. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you,” Mira had explained. “It’s just that places like the bathhouse are really uncomfortable for me.”

Mira had come out to Zoey that night. Zoey had listened carefully, then asked if Mira would be comfortable going if no one else was around. She said yes. The very next morning, Zoey called around to various bathhouses and asked how much it would cost to book the whole thing for an afternoon. Eventually, she found one willing to work with her. The whole “super famous pop stars out in public” thing provided a perfectly reasonable excuse for buying the place out, and Mira had absolutely loved it. Zoey had never seen strong, tough Mira so relaxed before.

More important than the bathhouse though, that night was the first time Mira really opened up to Zoey. And over the years, she kept opening up. Usually during little, unexpected moments like that one. Usually late at night. Usually when they were alone. Zoey learned all about Mira’s parents. About the cat that felt like her only friend in that horrible house. The things she’d done to scrape by after being kicked out. Every time Mira shared something, Zoey shared back. While Rumi walled herself off, Zoey and Mira grew closer and closer. Maybe this could help break down some more of Rumi’s walls. They were already off to a great start, and Zoey had plenty of ideas to keep the momentum going.