Archive of Our Own ^beta

We shouldn’t be doing this.

That night, the dorm was freezing. Ness couldn’t remember a winter this cold. And he loved winter. It was strange. At home, he never got cold. Maybe because their house was always kept at a constant 23 degrees Celsius, winter and summer, all year round. But this year, the team’s dorm had a broken boiler for a week. They were given heaters, but they didn’t help much, so Ness still slept dressed warmly. It was chilly, but bearable once you were under the covers.

That’s why, that night, he thought he was imagining things. Ness always slept less than Kaiser, but much more soundly. His roommate would flinch, twitch, and sometimes grind his teeth. Ness had even woken up a couple of times when the guy in the next bed made a sound like whimpering. When Alexis told him about it in the morning, Kaiser just shrugged and pretended nothing had happened.

Over time, Ness got used to it. So, that night, when he heard Kaiser’s voice, he thought he was just mumbling in his sleep again. But the voice spoke quietly, yet distinctly, meant for Ness to hear but not quite understand:

“Lie with me.”

Ness froze for a moment. Had he really heard that? His frozen, half-asleep brain could barely process it. He knew: in another 20 seconds, Kaiser would definitely change his mind. And never suggest it again. Hesitation was deadly.

Finally, he decided to answer. Just as quietly. His words sounded muffled and almost silly, half-asleep. His voice trembled:

“What?”

Another endless pause. Ness strained his ears. A pleasant shiver of anticipation was already running through his body. In seconds, he was instantly warm. Finally, his restless roommate graced him with an answer. A hint of annoyance laced Kaiser’s voice:

“Am I stuttering, for fuck’s sake? You heard me.”

Ness knew Michael wouldn’t repeat himself. For a moment, a hot wave washed over his entire body, and he became very warm. He was stunned. Was Kaiser joking? His throat was dry. Ness wanted to dive into the other man’s bed so badly that he barely restrained himself. Trying not to move too fast, but not too slow either, Alexis awkwardly got out of bed, slipped into his slippers, and headed for the next bed.

It felt like he was walking in slow motion. The other man’s pale nape was faintly illuminated by the light of a streetlamp flickering in the window. The bed creaked, taking on the extra weight. Ness decided not to tempt fate and grabbed his own blanket. If it got too cold, they could just cover themselves with both, right?

Kaiser was lying on his side with his back to him. Ness tried to lie down as carefully as possible. His gaze was fixed on the other man’s nape. He felt like he was sitting on a powder keg. What if he chased him away immediately? He curled up and pulled the blanket up to his eyes. Here he was, finally in bed with Michael. Not that Alexis had never fantasized about it… He would be lying if he said Kaiser didn’t occupy his imagination for long. Now he was barely breathing.

Kaiser almost certainly heard his noisy breathing. But Ness couldn’t help it. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he just pressed them to his sides, clutching the blanket. Now there was no question of cold. His ears and face were burning. His whole body was enveloped in heat. The head on the neighboring pillow remained motionless and no longer made any sounds. Must have fallen asleep.

Ness himself lay awake for probably an hour. He was afraid to move. His hands started to go numb, but he couldn’t roll over either – what if Kaiser turned to him? Ness slept in fits and starts for most of the night. It was warmer together, but his nose still kept freezing and he had to cover his head. At some point during the night, it seemed to Ness that Kaiser’s back was a little closer to him. He was overcome with excitement, but Ness suppressed it.

He woke up before the alarm. He had to move slowly and as quietly as possible – Kaiser was almost always in a bad mood in the morning anyway. The top of his disheveled head was still motionless under the thick blanket. Ness stretched and went to the shower. It was cold and damp in the room. It seemed the heater had turned itself off. His body ached from the awkward position, his head was buzzing from lack of sleep, but if he was offered another night like that, Alexis would agree without hesitation.

Waking up, Michael Kaiser said nothing. The whole day went by as usual. Alexis Ness wasn’t expecting anything different. However, the following night, Kaiser called him by his last name. It happened about 20 minutes after they turned off the light in the room. An endlessly long 20 minutes. Ness understood. He knew perfectly well that Michael wouldn’t ask him directly again, so he just silently moved to his bed. He slept a little better that night. This time he woke up in an empty bed. Kaiser was already gone.

By the fourth night, he understood two things: Kaiser wouldn’t ask twice. Kaiser wouldn’t agree if Ness immediately lay down with him while the light was still on. The “invitations” from him only sounded in the dark. When Ness slipped silently to him this time, Kaiser, already almost habitually, moved slightly towards him with his back. There was no need to guess, Ness already knew what he wanted from him. Just as silently, Alexis moved slightly so that the exchange of warmth took place.

He was almost asleep when Kaiser suddenly started fidgeting. At first barely noticeable, but at some point his back was very close. Ness froze. His body reacted, how could it not? Despite the fact that they were lying under different blankets, the width of the bed limited the space, forcing them to be closer. Alexis was already lying almost on the edge, and now he was at risk of falling to the floor. There was no choice, he had to move forward himself.

Now his body was only centimeters away from the other’s, which radiated warmth. Ness was almost asleep again when Michael fidgeted more strongly. Ness barely controlled himself. Kaiser would definitely feel that he had an erection. Shit. He didn’t sleep that night, and at about 4 a.m. he quietly got up to slip into the shower, where he hid the moans under the sound of water as his hand moved along his painfully tense member with incredible speed.

Kaiser said nothing when he woke up, as usual, at 7:30 a.m. and noticed that Ness was already fully dressed with freshly washed hair. In the morning, everything disappeared. Ness was already used to the fact that Kaiser’s personality instantly disappeared behind a mask. A real actor, bravo.

Only Ness remained the same and with the same. This unexpected freedom excited him, made him wonder - was he imagining it, or not. Now he was almost waiting for nightfall to find out - would he be lucky today, or not. Deep down, he hoped that every night would be colder than usual. Fortunately, the next one was just that.

Kaiser allowed him to snuggle even closer. They covered themselves with two overlapping blankets, and a common space formed between them. It was getting really hot in bed, but Ness didn’t care. He was shaking. It all started as usual. Ness timidly moved closer, barely touching Kaiser. He settled in comfortably and moved towards him. It seemed so natural that Alexis almost believed him. The other man’s back was inches from his palm. Ness didn’t know where to put his hands and he timidly put one on his side. He was ready to pull it away at any moment, as from a hot stove. But, surprisingly, there were no protests. Kaiser lay still, not twitching.

That night Ness was almost sure that Kaiser was conscious. He had no proof, but at some point, he began to turn around, and, as if by chance, pulled Ness’s palm with him so that it ended up on his waist. Ness almost completely pressed his chest into the other man’s back, his crotch was practically between the other man’s buttocks. He had prudently put on the thickest sweatpants he had, but it was difficult to hide the erection. Kaiser definitely felt everything that night: and that, and how deafening Alexis’s heart was beating, how he was breathing heavily under the thick blankets.

Ness’s hand began to go numb. He carefully moved it and his palm ended up on Michael’s chest. Alexis felt his heart beating. Was he asleep? Ness couldn’t resist and gently stroked the other man’s body. He was overcome with curiosity. The hand slowly and lightly slid a little lower, he began to stroke the strip of skin between the pajama pants and the sweatshirt. It seemed to him that it was covered with goosebumps. Holding his breath, Ness slightly pushed away the fabric of the sweatshirt, gaining access to the skin. Gradually his hand began to move, stroking his ribs. He felt several scars on the smooth skin and stroked them. The hand rose to his chest. He felt the steady beat of his heart. Ness gently stroked this place, carefully, gently. One of his fingers touched the nipple and it hardened.

— Kaiser?

Silence. Ness whispered again.

— Michael?

In response, an exhalation. Ness whispered barely audibly:

— Can I?

In response, silence. Heavy breathing and an elbow nudge. Ness understood him. He continued, his hand darted to the other breast. He felt the rhythm in his chest accelerate. Now their hearts were beating almost in time. Both nipples hardened, and when Ness touched them, you could hear barely audible sighs. Ness decided to test the waters. He went a little lower, stroking his hard abs, his flat stomach moving with his breath. But Kaiser himself did not turn around, his face was hidden behind the tangled hair in his sleep. Ness gently stroked the relief. He approached the other man’s ear and whispered barely audibly, as if afraid to scare him away:

— Kaiser? Are you not?.. Can I?

The head with disheveled blond hair did something like a nod. Ness stroked his abs, his fingers reached the elastic of his pants, above them he felt the stubble of short, stiff hair. Alexis knew that they were also light. They had taken a shower together many times. Ness hesitated. Would he allow it?.. His fingers trembled. He said barely audibly:

— Michael?..

But he did not respond, although Ness clearly felt his breathing falter. His fingers felt that the other man’s pants were also strained very close by. He felt the beat of both of their hearts. Kaiser seemed to say: decide for yourself, it will be your responsibility. The temptation was enormous, but Ness couldn’t make up his mind. What if Kaiser didn’t want this? What if this was another of his riddles, to which Ness gave the wrong answer? No, he couldn’t. It was very difficult to fall asleep that night.

In the morning, Ness woke up earlier, and all his underwear was almost completely wet. Oh damn. During the day, Kaiser gave no sign that anything had happened. Again. The following night, Kaiser went to sleep without saying a word. Ness understood him. It was colder all night and he slept badly. The next day, Kaiser mentioned at lunch that he had almost caught a cold in his back. Another of his puzzles? Ness was on pins and needles all day, deciding what this meant.

Kaiser habitually turned on his side, but this time he clearly left enough space on his bed for Alexis to fit there. To warm his back. Kaiser fidgeted for a long time and Ness understood him. As soon as he was in his bed, Michael stopped. Alexis again timidly hugged him and pressed slightly against him. Kaiser fidgeted a little again, bringing Ness’s member to exhaustion, and at some point he turned sharply to him.

For the first time in all these nights. Ness was dumbfounded. Kaiser’s face was again hidden by the hair that had fallen on it, long and tangled, so Ness could hardly see him in the dark. Their heads were half hidden under the blankets. Ness didn’t know what to do, Michael had never done this before. Almost realistically depicting sleep, he moved closer to him. It looked so natural, but Ness knew him too well, and knew how his breathing changed in his sleep. Now it wasn’t like that. Rather, it resembled how he breathed after a light warm-up. Now Ness’s hand was on his back. Kaiser moved once more so that his face was now slightly above Ness’s face, and his hand slid down to his waist. Ness moved it up and down. Kaiser made something like an approving snort. What a bastard. He knows he’s not asleep and pretends to be asleep. As if he himself doesn’t like it. Ness stroked him, going down his back, along his spine. At some point Kaiser clearly couldn’t stand it and pulled his hand closer.

— Michael?

Again, no reaction. Got it. He wants to put all the responsibility on me. Well, fine. Ness lowered the elastic of the other man’s pajama pants. With his other hand, he stroked Kaiser’s chest, touching his nipples. The only response was more erratic breathing. Unable to resist, Ness stroked his buttocks through his pants. The fingers of his other hand at this moment froze again on the path of hair below his stomach. Michael twitched slightly. Ness understood him. He slipped his hand under the other man’s pants. Kaiser exhaled loudly. Do you like it, huh?

Ness stroked the soft fabric of his underwear. Kaiser was definitely tense. Slightly longer than Ness himself and a little thinner. Michael pushed into his hand. Okay, okay, impatient. Ness lowered his pajama pants and began to stroke him through the fabric, which hid all that he could only admire in the locker room – firm buttocks, strong thighs. Kaiser moved forward a little more. Ness understood him. Turning even redder, he slipped his fingers under the fabric of his boxers, releasing his member, ran a couple of times over the delicate skin. The other hand on his chest read everything - Kaiser’s heart was beating wildly, goosebumps ran over his skin. But he didn’t make a sound.

Ness froze when Kaiser’s own hand crawled along his torso and unceremoniously dived straight under his underwear. Alexis couldn’t restrain a moan. Michael set a pace that Ness sought to repeat. He couldn’t hold back light moans and bit his lip to muffle them. It is not worth disturbing their silence. He knew that if something broke out, it would become real, which means that Kaiser would feel it, and it would scare him away. And Ness was silent, sobbing slightly. Kaiser’s fingers were fast and hard, but they knew their stuff.

Ness couldn’t resist and, diving under the blanket, lightly kissed his neck. After that, the pace of Michael’s hand accelerated and Alexis almost suffocated. Ness didn’t last long, and he poured into his hand, making as short and quiet a moan as possible. Kaiser came after, exhaling noisily several times. He pulled his hand out of the other man’s pants, wiped it on the sheet, and turned away, wrapping himself in a blanket, barely Ness had time to take his hand out of his pants.

In the morning it was as if none of this had happened, but Kaiser’s sheet was gone somewhere, and he begged for a new one, claiming that he had spilled coffee on the old one, and it had to be thrown away immediately. That day Kaiser went out on the field in a scarf. Fortunately, it was cold. Although their winter uniform well hid the neck and faded traces of night kisses, Ness knew that Kaiser would additionally emphasize that none of this existed.

The next night everything was repeated. Kaiser allowed Ness to do it right away with the members of both of them. The sensations were simply unreal. Ness understood that this was only an illusion of closeness, but it only spurred him on. This time he wisely laid out napkins and his old T-shirt, which in the morning also went to the trash.

They were supposed to have a game in a couple of days, so they were both too tired. But the night after the match was cold enough that both of them could be in the same bed again. Ness again asked just in case if he could. The answer was a barely noticeable nod. Kaiser was lying on his side again. This time Ness gently stroked his back, timidly moving to his buttocks. Kaiser turned to him again, and Ness, unable to resist, pressed against him, hugging him tightly.

His head was at the level of Kaiser’s chest, and he could hear the other man’s heart beating. Ness carefully lifted his sweatshirt and began to gently stroke the other man’s chest, covering it with kisses. The kisses went lower and lower. Ness gently stroked his nipples. At some point, he had an idea that made him blush to the tips of his ears. He had never done anything like this before. Kaiser had never even let him kiss him properly. Ness gently stroked his stomach, already noticing the tension below. He still decided.

— Michael, don’t you want me to?..

There was a pause. After it, Kaiser’s fingers rather softly, but authoritatively were in Alexis’s hair. He understood everything perfectly. Ness carefully turned both of them into a position in which Kaiser was on his back, and he himself was on all fours at the level of his groin. There was little air under the blanket, but Ness didn’t care, he was burning with excitement. His fingers trembled as he pulled down Kaiser’s pants along with his underwear. For the first time he is so close to this part of him. It was difficult to see in the dark, but Ness knew - Kaiser was also tense to the point of pain. He softly gripped the length and gently ran his fingers over it. It beckoned him, Ness ran his tongue over the tip. Kaiser’s fingers clenched in his hair. Alexis had never done this before, and he didn’t really know how.

He moved closer for a test and wrapped the flesh with his lips. From above, something like “teeth” could be heard, but the voice was much quieter and weaker than usual. Ness understood. He went a little lower along the length - up and down. He suddenly wanted to ask.

— Kaiser… Is this your first time?

A long pause. The fingers in his hair suddenly weakened their grip. Ness understood and continued. He moved along the length a couple more times, moving his tongue over the head. He assumed that he himself would like it. The palm on his crown clenched, his thighs trembled and his pelvis moved forward. Kaiser didn’t last long. Ness thought he heard something that disappeared immediately. He realized that Kaiser had bitten his hand. Alexis assumed that it would not be easy, but he still barely took the other man’s sperm when it poured into his mouth. But to himself he smiled. So, am I the first to do this with you? Warmth spread across his chest.

Ness knew that he was unlikely to ever get anything like this from Kaiser. He also knew that in the morning Michael would pretend that nothing had happened again. That there are no stains on his bed. That they haven’t woken up together for almost 2 weeks. That Ness has woken up more than once with Kaiser’s head resting on his chest. That Ness doesn’t notice when Kaiser is no longer asleep in the morning, but just lies motionless, listening to his heartbeat. That Kaiser doesn’t hear how fast and loud Ness’s heart beats at these moments. That Ness doesn’t sort Kaiser’s hair in the mornings. That Ness once, unable to resist, kissed him on the top of the head. That the frosts ended several days ago, and their heater worked at maximum at night. That Kaiser has started sleeping in just his boxers lately. That there are no traces of Ness’s lips left on his body. That in the moments before Ness’s mouth was filled with liquid, he did not hear a short moan, immediately muffled by the pillow. That none of this happened, and it’s all just someone’s wild fantasies.

All right, Michael, as you know. We had nothing. I’m just your convenient weapon on the field.