Archive of Our Own ^beta

“So…” Noel began as they were all gathered around the broken coffee-maker. His broken coffee-maker, there was Smurfette, Gutsy, Brainy, Hefty, Clumsy, Lily and Storm, “Who broke it?” Noel then added to reassure them, “I’m not mad. I just want to know.”

“…” Silence reigned as the group exchanged looks and glances with another one, wondering who would be the first to break the silence but not wanting to draw any attention to themselves.

“…I did,” Smurfette admitted, nervously wringing her hands, “I broke—.”

“No. No, you didn’t,” Noel said softly but sternly, raising a hand to stop her from speaking any further before turning to Gutsy, “Gutsy?”

“Don’t look at me, sir,” Gutsy said before jerking his thumb at Brainy, “Look at Brainy.”

“What?” Brainy turned to glare at Gutsy, “I didn’t break it.”

“Huh, that’s weird,” Gutsy glared suspiciously at Brainy, “How’d you even know it was broken?”

“Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken,” Brainy gestured exasperatedly at the broken coffee-maker.

“Suspicious.”

“No, it’s not. What are you? Conspiracy: Scottish Edition?”

“If it matters, probably not,” Hefty shrugged, “But Storm was the last one to use it.”

“Liar!” Lily shouted, getting up in Hefty’s face, “I don’t even drink that crap!”

“Oh, really?” Hefty said, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow, “Then what were you doing by the coffee-maker earlier?”

“Because Moxie wanted some and she needs to stay off her foot for a few more days! Everyone knows that, Hefty!”

“Okay, okay, let’s not fight,” Smurfette chimed in, stepping between Lily and Hefty before turning back to Noel, “Let me replace it, Uncle.”

“NO!” Noel shouted, glaring hard at the group who wilted under his glare, “Who broke it!?”

“…”

“…”

“…”
“…”

“…Uncle, Storm’s been awfully quiet,” Clumsy chimed in, wincing in anticipation.

“REALLY!?”

“Uh, yeah, really,” Clumsy gave an apologetic smile.

“OH MY SMURF! YOU ARE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TODAY, MISTER!”

As the group argued fiercely with each other, Noel’s ears picked up the sound of the door opening, and he turned to see Moxie there, eyes widening as she took in the scene and the state of the coffee-maker.

Noel walked over to her and that was when he made his confession.

“I broke it,” Noel looked down at his hand, “It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.”

They turned back to the argument before he smirked, “Good…it was getting a little chummy around here.”