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Chapter Text

The problem with being beautiful? People never leave you alone.

Here in campus, it feels like every hallway is just another episode of “Who’s going to confess to Asta today?”

And trust me—it’s exhausting.

Like this morning, a varsity boy sprinted across the courtyard just to block my way. He was sweaty, out of breath, holding a crumpled letter na halatang pinrint niya five minutes before class.

“Astherielle, please go out with me!”

Classic. Weak delivery. I didn’t even slow down.

“No, thank you.”

Fast. Polite. Done.

He froze, stunned, like it was the first time someone dared to say no to him.

“B-but… why?”

I sighed. I should probably give him my usual spiel—“sorry, you’re not my type”—but let’s be real, no one ever gets it. So I just gave him my Miss Universe smile and said, “You’re not my type.”

And then I walked away, skirt swishing like a final exit.

Now, before you call me mean, let me explain: I just can’t like people who like me. The second it’s obvious that they do, it’s like my heart shuts down. No spark. Zero chance.

But there’s one person.

Just one.

Jaze Zianra Rivera.

Jazzi.

Student council president. Cold, quiet, terrifyingly gorgeous. She doesn’t smile, doesn’t entertain small talk, and when she looks at you? You immediately question your existence.

Which, obviously, makes her… my type.

“Hoy, Asta!” Lian—my best friend and part-time bouncer against suitors—caught up to me, iced coffee in hand. “You rejected someone again, didn’t you?”

I tilted my head, innocent. “Reject? No naman. I just… redirected him to better options.”

“Better options? Girl, para kang walking heartbreak.” She rolled her eyes. “Paasa, tapos biglang cutoff.”

“I’m not paasa,” I defended. “I’m just direct. No false hope. May nakita ka bang nilalandi ko?” I rolled my eyes.

“Uh-huh, sure. Then sino ba talagang gusto mo?”

I didn’t answer. I never do. Pero my traitor eyes had other plans—they drifted toward the student council office window.

And there she was.

Jazzi. Hair pulled into a loose ponytail, head bent over a pile of papers, like she was running a country instead of a student org. Her whole aura screamed untouchable, unbothered, and absolutely off-limits.

My heart did the annoying skip thing again.

“Oh no,” Lian groaned when she followed my gaze. “Not her. Again.”

I clasped my hands dramatically. “Yes. Her.”

“She hates people. Including you.”

“Exactly,” I said, grinning like I’d just uncovered a life truth. “That’s why she’s perfect.”

Before Lian could launch into a lecture, Jazzi suddenly looked up.

And right into my eyes.

I froze. Time stopped. Background music swelled.

She stared. Blank. Cold. And then—slowly, deliberately—she rolled her eyes before returning to her papers.

Lian buried her face in her hands. “Asta, she literally just eye-rolled at you.”

I sighed, starry-eyed. “So beautiful.”

“Ang gaga.”

But honestly? One eye-roll from Jazzi is worth more than three love letters in a day. Because somehow, trouble is exactly my type.

Chapter Text

“Ms. Abueva?” Agad akong napalingon sa harap nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko. The sharp sound of my surname slicing through the silence of my wandering thoughts. “Puro ganda ka na lang ba d’yan?”

“Po?” I blinked, pretending I didn’t hear the teasing lilt behind the words.

Truth is, kahit nakatulala ako, I was still half-listening to the lecture. My brain just drifted somewhere else—specifically, sa ulam na kakainin ko mamaya. Since Lian and I were staying in the dorms, we had no one else to rely on but ourselves. Walang home-cooked meals, walang sasalubong. Just instant noodles, canned goods, and whatever we could scrape from our shrinking allowance.

And today? Malapit na itong tuluyang maubos. End of the month na rin kasi, kaya kailangan ko na namang humingi ulit sa magulang ko. Kung hindi lang ako scholar dito, I wouldn’t even be studying at this prestigious university. And if I wasn’t, people might actually believe na puro ganda lang nga ako. A pretty face with no substance.

“Since you’re spacing out—how do you reconcile sustainability with luxury? No textbook answer.”

My professor’s voice yanked me back into the present. He made me stand, his hands slipping casually into his pockets as he leaned back, waiting. Testing me.

“True luxury lasts, sir. Anything timeless is already sustainable.” I said flatly. Short. Simple. Sapat na ‘yon, di ba?

Apparently not.

Because my not-so-favorite professor chuckled, the kind of laugh na hindi dahil natuwa siya, but because he found my answer laughable. He was the type of professor who thrived on verbosity. Kahit obvious na puwede naman sagutin ng isang sentence, gusto niya may kasamang essay, a layered explanation—kahit pa wala naman siyang balak pakinggan nang buo.

“That’s it? That’s your grand answer?” he prodded, and the class erupted into snickers.

Mostly girls. As always, they took every opportunity to laugh whenever I stumbled—even if it was just imagined stumbling. They knew this professor had an unexplainable dislike for me. Maybe because I drew too much attention? Maybe because I was a little too polished for his liking? I couldn’t help it. Maganda talaga ako.

“Yes, sir.” I forced a polite smile, then inhaled deeply—almost theatrically—before speaking again. This time, I gave him what he wanted.

“Because sustainability is not just about recycled fabrics or ethical sourcing—it’s about creating value that transcends seasons. If luxury is exclusivity, then the rarest form of it is longevity. When a garment survives trends, generations, and remains desirable—that’s the purest intersection of sustainability and luxury.”

Silence fell over the room. For once, lahat sila napatigil. Their stares were fixed on me, wide-eyed, as if they couldn’t reconcile the fact that those words came out of my mouth. It was the first time I ever indulged him with an answer like that. Normally, I’d let his digs pass, but not this time.

Because this time, someone was watching.

“Mr. Mariano.” A soft knock echoed from the open door, followed by the clear, steady voice that had the power to make my chest tighten.

That’s why I didn’t just sit down like usual. Because she was there. She was looking at me. And if Jazzi Rivera was watching, I had no choice but to rise to the occasion.

“Sit down, Ms. Abueva.” Our professor dismissed me and turned toward her. “What is this, Ms. President?”

“The student council is organizing a clothing drive—pero hindi lang po basta donation. We’re planning to upcycle the clothes first before giving them to partner communities.” Jazzi explained, her tone calm and authoritative.

“Upcycling, huh? So you want the recipients to feel they’re getting something new, not just old hand-me-downs.”

“Exactly, sir. Kasi po, fashion has power to restore dignity. Even donated clothes can look fresh if students rework them—like adjusting fits, adding embellishments, or repairing damages. I think it’ll make people feel seen, not pitied.”

Her delivery was seamless, straightforward, almost clinical in its precision. And yet, I couldn’t stop the smile tugging at my lips.

That’s my girl, I thought bitterly. Except—she wasn’t my girl. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But God, how I wished.

Our professor nodded, visibly impressed. Of course he was. Every professor liked Jazzi Rivera. She wasn’t just a star student—she came from a well-known, influential family. Her parents’ names carried weight in this institution. Add her brilliance to that pedigree, and you get a girl like her: untouchable, magnetic, perfect.

“Not bad, Rivera. You’re merging social responsibility with design practice. That’s very aligned with our course.”

“Thank you, sir. Actually, I wanted to ask if you know someone who could help us. Maybe alumni or contacts from the industry who’d be willing to sponsor fabric scraps, sewing machines, or even volunteer with us?”

Instantly, several hands shot up around the room. Predictable. Everyone wanted to be noticed by her, to ride the gravity of her attention. Pero kahit na halos sabay-sabay silang nagsitaas ng kamay, Jazzi didn’t even glance at them. Her gaze remained fixed on Mr. Mariano, as though the rest of us were invisible.

“I have an outstanding student who can help you, but depende pa rin sa ’yo if you want her on your team.” The professor chuckled, eyes flicking in my direction.

Jazzi only nodded. No smile. No flicker of acknowledgment. Parang walang reaction. Hindi naman chopped lips niya para hindi siya makangiti, so why did she look so indifferent?

“Anyone, Sir.”

“Ms. Abueva.”

My head jerked up, eyes widening.

“Except her.”

The words landed like a slap, ringing in my ears. My stomach twisted, heat creeping up my neck.

What the fuck?

Chapter Text

“Sige nga, sinong hindi mapipikon?” I ranted to Lian the moment we got to the cafeteria, slamming my tray down a little harder than necessary. My voice was low but full of frustration, like steam trying to escape a boiling kettle. “I am this close to working with her but she rejected it. Takot ba siyang mainlove sa akin?” I said, narrowing my eyes in exaggerated drama.

Lian almost choked on her food, coughing and grabbing her water while glaring at me.

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “But anyways, she knows me. I should be thankful for that.” I said nonchalantly and shoved another spoonful of rice into my mouth.

“Everyone knows you, Asta.” Lian rolled her eyes so hard I swore she saw her brain. “And until now, hindi ko pa rin gets kung anong nakita mo diyan kay Jazzi.”

I tilted my head and gave her my sweetest, most annoyingly saccharine smile. “Maybe you should open your eyes, so you can see what I see.”

Lian didn’t answer after that. She knew better. Because the moment she pushed back, our entire meal would spiral into another one-hour debate on why Jazzi Rivera was worth my time—and why she wasn’t. Alam niyang I could go on and on, like a broken record obsessed with one song. She hated it. She hated Jazzi’s name even more.

But I couldn’t really blame her. Not many people actually liked Jazzi. Not in the way I did, at least. Sure, they respected her, wanted to be in her orbit, to be in her good graces. Pero romantically? Halos wala. Maybe that’s why Jazzi turned out the way she did—cold, untouchable, distanced from everyone. Or maybe she was just born like that.

When I first entered this university, kilala na siya. Even back when she was still in the SHS department, she already carried herself like someone untouchable. I didn’t care about her then. I was too busy with my own world, going with the flow, rolling my eyes whenever people worshiped my name. At that time, my delusional self thought, if Jazzi was a guy and she saw me, for sure she’d confess to me.

Sobrang ka-fantard-an ko noon. But could you blame me? Students from different departments were lining up to court me, trying their luck, throwing flowers, letters, chocolates my way. And katulad ng lagi kong sinasabi—I wasn’t into people who liked me. That was boring. I wanted someone who couldn’t care less. Someone who wouldn’t fall at my feet.

And then Jazzi happened.

She was cold. She was distant. She only spoke when it was about student council matters or academics. No small talk, no wasted words. That’s when it hit me: She’s my type.

Siguro, for me, magiging achievement na kapag naging girlfriend ko siya. At least I didn’t have to worry kung homophobic siya or not—she had two moms after all.

“Asta.”

I froze mid-bite when I heard someone call my name from behind. My heart skipped, my hand tightening on my tray. For a split second, I thought—no, hoped—it was her. But no.

It was Gene.

The student council vice president. Practically Jazzi’s shadow. The one person I actively avoided, even if being near her meant being close to Jazzi. Because unlike Jazzi—who simply ignored you when she disliked you—Gene had claws. She would humiliate you. Crush you without remorse. Or maybe laugh at you. Nakakatakot siyang tao.

“Come with me.” she muttered flatly.

I shook my head so fast you’d think I was dodging a bullet. “Ang sakit ng puson ko, shet,” I winced dramatically. “Lian, may pads ka pa?”

Lian didn’t even look at me. “None.” She kept eating, zero sympathy. Classic Lian. She was a good friend, sure, but the moment food was involved? Forget it.

“I have one. Come with me.” Gene’s tone left no room for argument.

With a sigh, I dropped my spoon and fork, stomping like a child throwing a tantrum. I didn’t care if people stared. Let them watch.

As we walked down the hallway, Gene glanced at me. “You’re still mad because of the rumors?”

My blood instantly boiled. That was the first time I learned how much I could despise her. Kasi she never denied it—that stupid rumor that I liked her, that the reason I didn’t date guys was because she was the one I wanted.

But the truth? I wasn’t looking at her. I was looking through the student council window. At Jazzi.

And instead of correcting anyone, Gene just laughed whenever people teased us. As if my humiliation was her entertainment. Kahit todo-deny ako, walang naniwala. And eventually, that rumor reached Jazzi.

The very first time she really looked at me—was with irritation. Disgust, even. From that day on, no matter what I did, she hated me.

“Hindi.” I snapped, rolling my eyes.

Gene just chuckled, opening the door to the student council office. Only then did it sink in. Wait. What the hell am I doing here?

“She’s here.” Gene announced.

Inside, Cai—the secretary—and Mau—the finance head—looked up. I turned instinctively toward Jazzi, who was glued to her computer screen, the soft glow reflecting off her impossibly calm face. My cheeks burned instantly. Every time I saw her up close, my body betrayed me, flushing red like I was caught stealing glances at an angel.

“Totoo nga.” Mau laughed, Cai joining in as they both looked at me knowingly.

So this was it. Pinatawag lang ba nila ako rito para i-bully?

“How many confessed to you today, Ms. Abueva?” Cai teased, standing up and sauntering toward me.

“Isa.” I rolled my eyes.

“I told you, she’s really beautiful up close,” Mau grinned. “Jazzi’s busy pa. You can sit muna sa couch.”

I frowned. “Ano bang meron?”

“We’re doing a clothing drive. For sure narinig mo na,” Cai explained. “And most professors from your department recommended you to join our program. So…?”

“Pumayag ka na,” Mau added playfully. “Pumayag na nga ’yung isa oh.”

My head whipped to Jazzi. Wait. Akala ko ba ayaw niya? What if I refused? Would she chase after me? Would she look for someone else? Would I lose my chance entirely?

“Ako lang ba?” I asked carefully.

“Marami pa. But the one who’s going to lead is you.” Gene’s voice cut in, smug. “Sige na, Asta. Promise, after this sasabihin ko na na hindi talaga kita naging girlfriend.”

Everything stilled. Even Jazzi stopped typing. The air in the room grew heavy, all of us orbiting her without meaning to.

Then, just like that, she stood. “I have a family dinner. I have to go.” She grabbed her bag, slipped it over her shoulder, and walked out. No explanation. No goodbye. Just… gone.

The door clicked shut behind her, and I found myself staring at it, my heart clenching. “How can you guys stay with Jazzi most of the time and still not fall for her?” I asked softly, almost to myself.

They burst out laughing.

“Asta, can you hear yourself?” Cai chuckled, shaking her head. “Ikaw lang ata may gusto kay Jazzi. Sa ugali niyang ’yan?”

“What’s wrong with her?” I asked defensively.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” Mau countered, and the room filled with laughter again.

I rolled my eyes, but a small smile tugged at my lips. Well, that’s fine. At least wala akong kaagaw.

At least she was all mine—to chase, to admire, to dream of.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Anong dala mo?” Lian asked as soon as I entered the dorm, eyeing the oversized paper bag I was struggling with.

I dropped it on the table with a dramatic sigh. The bag was filled with clothes that I apparently had to style, repair, and basically resurrect from the dead. Akala ko kasi madali lang ‘to—like, you know, quick sewing here and there while I got to enjoy the view of Jazzi from across the room. Pero hindi pala. Plot twist: wala si Jazzi sa picture. Just me, some random pile of shirts, and the endless thread of suffering.

“Para sa outreach.” I mumbled, rubbing my sore arm. “Nagluto ka na ba? Or mag-order na lang tayo?”

Lian raised her brow, crossing her arms. “Order? May pera ka pa ba?”

“None,” I admitted with zero shame. “But Gene offered na papadalhan niya ako ng food once matapos ko ‘tong mga gagawin.” I muttered while unlocking my phone, already about to type Gene a desperate SOS about what I wanted to eat.

Lian tilted her head, eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Are you sure you and Gene don’t have a past?”

Napalingon ako agad. Wow. Coming from my bestie? The betrayal. This girl has been with me since we started schooling here. Dapat siya ang unang may tiwala.

“Fine, fine. Sorry,” Lian chuckled, holding up her hands in surrender. “I was just making sure. Kasi, hello? This is not exactly something the student council vice president should be doing.”

I rolled my eyes so hard, baka magka-muscle strain ako. “Gene and I were just acquainted. Hindi ko nga alam saan nila nakuha ‘yung rumor na ‘yon.” And with that, I marched straight to the bathroom to take a shower, making a dramatic exit.

For sure, matagal pa bago dumating ang delivery.

After showering, I pulled the bag closer and started inspecting the clothes. The council had actually provided a complete set of materials—scissors, needles, threads, even some patches. Manpower na lang talaga ang kailangan. It was like a DIY fashion reality show, only without the cameras and applause.

My phone buzzed.
“Labas. Nand’yan na ‘yung food.”

Excited, I grabbed my slippers and dashed outside. But when I looked around—wala. No motorcycle parked near the gate. Just a sleek car parked nearby.

Imposible namang nakakotse pa ‘yung rider. Ang sosyal naman ng delivery kung ganon.

I was about to turn back inside when the car door suddenly opened. And out stepped Jazzi Rivera.

I froze. Literally froze. Like someone hit pause on my entire system. What the actual—?

“Astherielle Abueva?” she called, her voice crisp.

My brain scrambled for words. And of all the possible things I could’ve said, ang lumabas pa ay—

“Delivery rider ka sa gabi?”

…Yeah. Genius. Absolute Einstein moment.

Seriously, why would she even work part time when her family practically breathed success? One parent owned an architectural firm, the other was a famous post-production supervisor. Meanwhile ako? I couldn’t even afford takeout without begging favors.

“Gene asked me to give you these.” She handed me the paper bag—without missing a beat, without answering my nonsense—and then turned on her heel to head back to her car.

Wala man lang second glance. Wala man lang kahit maliit na smile. Sungit talaga. Pero okay lang. At least kinausap niya ako. That was already a win in my book.

I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted after her, grinning like an idiot,
“Ingat ka, love! Thanks sa food!”

Of course, as expected, she didn’t acknowledge me. She simply started her engine and drove away, cool as ever.

“Sino ’yon?” a voice said behind me.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Bwisit ka! Papatayin mo ba ako sa gulat?”

Lian was standing there with a smug grin. “Hoy, babae. Ang ingay ko nga maglakad. Sadyang hindi mo lang ako narinig kasi busy ka d’yan sa delivery rider fantasy mo.”

I chuckled, still staring dreamily at the road Jazzi’s car had taken. “That was my girlfriend. Don’t mind me.”

Lian snorted. “Shuta. Alam ba niya na girlfriend ka niya?”

“She’ll realize that soon,” I said with a confident wink.

Lian shook her head, clearly done with me. “Lala mo na ’te. Inom ka na ng gamot.”

Chapter Text

Early in the morning, I dragged myself out of the dorm kahit wala pa naman akong klase until later in the afternoon. Hindi ko rin alam bakit pumayag akong ako ang mag-deliver ng clothes sa student council office, pero andito na rin ako. At least, dorm lang ang tinitirhan ko ngayon—if I were still commuting from home, baka kanina pa ako nagrereklamo kay Gene na impossible ‘tong request nila.

The hallway was still quiet, ‘yung tipong ramdam mo pa ang antok ng buong campus. Even the janitors looked half-asleep while sweeping the floors. Ako naman, hawak-hawak ang malaking eco bag na punong-puno ng neatly folded clothes.

Pagpasok ko, Cai immediately stood up, her curiosity winning over her composure. “Let me see.” She pulled the bag closer and opened it.

The moment the clothes were revealed, halos sabay-sabay silang lahat na napatingin. Their eyes widened like I had just pulled out treasure from a chest. Aesthetically folded, freshly pressed, and somehow they all looked brand new kahit galing lang sa donation drive.

“Wow,” Cai breathed. "You did this nang isang gabi lang?"

Gene turned to me, her face glowing with this look of pride. Para bang gusto niyang sabihing “See? I told you she could handle it.”

“Nasaan si Jazzi?” I asked, curious why the SC president herself wasn’t here.

“Nandito na ‘yon maya-maya. May dinaanan lang daw siya saglit,” Mau explained casually.

I nodded, accepting the answer. “Bibili lang ako ng coffee sa vending machine, may gusto kayo?”

“We’re fine. Go ahead.” Gene motioned for me to leave, her hand flicking gracefully as if dismissing a servant.

I chuckled and turned towards the door, already picturing the warm cup of coffee I would hold. Pero bago pa ako makalabas, the knob twisted from the other side at the exact same time I touched it.

And then—

Jazzi entered, and I almost lost my balance. She was stronger than I expected, kaya ako pa ang muntik na mapasandal sa kanya. For a split second, I smelled her perfume—sharp, cold, like fresh rain against metal.

“Sorry—I mean hi—I mean sorry again—do you believe in fate?”

The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. ANO RAW?!

I SWEAR. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ko. Pero one thing was for sure—I was definitely going to flirt with this ice cold president until she finally gave in.

“No. Back off.”

Her voice was cool, firm, at hindi man lang nag-alangan. She slightly pushed me aside, just enough to pass through and head straight to her desk.

I stood frozen, following her with my eyes. Kitang-kita ko pa kung paano pigilan ng tatlo—Cai, Mau, and Gene—ang mga tawa nila. Mga epal talaga.

My lips tugged into a grin despite myself. I bit my lower lip, trying hard to hide it.

Hinawakan niya ako! Well, technically she pushed me, but it was still contact. Physical contact counts, okay? What if… what if she likes me too? Baka nahihiya lang siya kaya todo iwas.

Hehe. Cute.

“Astherielle!” A voice called from behind, breaking me out of my little delulu daydream about Jazzi.

Napalingon ako and there he was—Mike. Lian’s brother. Well, technically half-brother.

Nobody really knew that detail though, kasi hindi naman sila same surname, and honestly, ayaw na ayaw rin ni Lian na ipaalam sa kahit sino. And I understood why. Mike was famous. Campus celebrity type. Everywhere he went, people stared. Lian already had more than enough attention just for being with me; dagdagan pa ng fact na kuya niya si Mike? Disaster.

“I heard kasali ka sa clothing drive etc program?” he asked casually as he fell into step beside me.

“Yeah. Just finished my job though,” I shrugged, trying to keep it light.

Mike gave a small smile and nodded, like my simple answer was enough to satisfy him. He didn’t leave though. Instead, he matched my pace, walking with me down the hallway.

Honestly? The reason I could never outright reject Mike, kahit obvious naman na he liked me, was simple: he never admitted it. Hindi siya umaamin. And I had a rule—I would never reject someone unless they confessed. Ayoko maging assuming. Pero sa case ni Mike, ang hirap. I wanted him out of my sight sometimes, lalo na’t ako ang nagiging kawawa sa mga babae niya.

Yes, him. The very reason why most girls on campus hated me. Hindi dahil sa ginawa ko—pero dahil Mike never looked at them the way he looked at me.

Bakit ba kasi ganito ‘to? Lagi ko na lang iniisip na baka dahil I was Lian’s only real friend, kaya he treated me differently. Protective, maybe. Pero minsan sobra na rin. His attention could be suffocating.

“Sasama rin ako sa mismong outreach,” Mike said, breaking the silence. “I guess I’ll just see you there?”

“Yeah. See you.” I gave him a nod as we reached the vending machine.

I quickly pressed the caramel button, excited for caffeine.

Mike, on the other hand, just smiled again—like he always did—then finally walked away. Thank God.

At least hinatid niya lang talaga ako hanggang sa vending machine. Walang big drama, walang dagdag na lingering presence. Buti na lang.

Kasi kung may makakita na naman sa amin na magkasama? Ako na naman ang target ng rumors. Palagi na lang. Laging may mga mata na sumusunod.

The only thing that saved me every time was the fact that Mike was honest whenever asked. He always told people na we weren’t together. Unlike some guys out there na gusto pang gawing “secret fling” ang pangalan ko, Mike was clear: we’re not a thing. At least he did that much.

I grabbed the coffee cup from the dispenser, warmth seeping into my hands. Slowly, I let out a sigh of relief, letting the caffeine promise me energy.

Coffee in hand, I started walking back to the student council office, reminding myself: Meeting for the heads. Focus. Don’t think about Jazzi. Don’t think about fate. Don’t think about—

Yeah, too late.

By the time I got back to the student council office, the meeting was already starting. The atmosphere inside shifted from casual chatter to that low hum of focus you only feel in student council gatherings.

Gene stood in front, papers in hand, her presence naturally commanding the room. She began discussing the outline of the program—paano magiging flow ng mismong program, ano ang mga materials na kailangan, at kung sino ang assigned sa bawat task. Her voice was calm but firm, and everyone listened like she was untouchable authority.

Meanwhile, Jazzi sat a few seats away, her posture straight and composed. She wasn’t speaking, wasn’t moving, wasn’t even fidgeting. Just listening. Just… staring.

At kay Gene pa talaga siya nakatingin.

Like, hello? Gene, how are you not melting? If those sharp eyes landed on me like that, baka kanina pa ako nagpropose.

I forced myself to take notes kahit wala namang masyadong kelangan isulat. Mas distracted lang kasi nakatingin lang ako kay Jazzi the entire time.

“And that’s it,” Gene finally concluded, placing her papers down. “Any questions?”

Everyone shook their heads, content with the clarity of the instructions.

“Good. Meeting adjourned.”

There was a sudden rustle as chairs scraped the floor and people stood.

“May pasok ako, mauuna na ako,” Mau said as she grabbed her blazer, slipping into it quickly.

“Sabay na ako.” Cai followed right after, fixing her bag as if she was late for something urgent.

Gene lingered, collecting her materials neatly. She glanced at me. “Ikaw? Wala kang pasok?”

I shook my head. “Mamayang hapon pa.”

She nodded in approval, gave my shoulder a reassuring pat, and finally walked out.

And just like that—solo ko na ang asawa ko.

Well, hindi niya pa alam na asawa ko siya, but soon she would. Manifesting is real, people.

The silence that followed after everyone left was deafening. Ang bigat ng hangin, parang lumamig lalo ang buong office. Maybe it was the air conditioning, or maybe it was Jazzi herself. This girl radiates winter vibes kahit walang snow.

I hugged myself slightly. Hindi naman ako lamigin usually, but right now, my body betrayed me. Nagshiver ako. Great. And to make matters worse, naiwan ko pa ang blazer ko sa dorm.

I glanced at Jazzi. Wala man lang siyang suot na blazer, but she looked perfectly fine. As if cold never even touched her. Sanay na sanay. Maybe she was born inside a freezer.

I bit my lip and tried to distract myself. Maybe I could grab a cloth from the bag of clothes? But no, it was already locked, sealed tightly so nothing would spill out.

Kung lalabas naman ako para lang magpainit, baka magmukha akong tanga. Standing guard outside the SC office like some random security guard in heels? Pass.

My body shivered again. Hindi ko na kaya. I need to leave my wife behind. Just one more minute, tapos alis na ako.

I closed my eyes and began counting slowly, trying to ground myself. One… two… three—

Before I could even reach ten, something soft fell against my face.

Fabric. Warm. Comforting. And—mygod—the smell. Fresh, clean, with just a hint of something expensive.

I pulled it down and looked.

Jazzi didn’t glance at me. She was at her computer, eyes glued to the screen, fingers tapping lazily on the keyboard.

But her blazer was no longer on her chair. It was on me.

“Thanks,” I muttered, voice quiet, my smile trying but failing to hide itself.

Lord, ito na ba ‘yon? Sign na ba ‘to? Gusto niya na rin ba ako?

“Can you just put it on?” Jazzi finally spoke, her tone sharp but not cruel. “You’re shivering. It’s distracting.”

I nodded quickly, slipping her blazer over my shoulders. Ang bango. Ang init.

But still—I made a mental note: I’ll wash this thoroughly bago ko ibalik. Baka mamaya mag-inarte siya na may amoy ko na, and she’d refuse to take it back.

Time passed slowly until the clock struck noon. I stood, deciding to join Lian for lunch at the cafeteria.

I hesitated with her blazer still on me. Should I return it now or later?

“Where are you going?” Jazzi’s voice cut through the silence.

“Kakain. Sama ka?” I asked, half-joking, half-hoping. I grinned at her, expecting rejection.

Of course, she wouldn’t. She basically lived in this office.

“Let’s go.” She stood up.

My jaw dropped. “Huh?”

“Are we going to eat or not?”

I blinked. Sasama siya? With me? Para sa akin?

I was still processing when the door opened.

“Jazzi! Tara!” Mau called from outside.

“Coming.” Jazzi muttered, then turned toward me.

Her hands reached for me. My heart instantly went berserk.

IS THIS IT? Was she about to—kiss me? In broad daylight? In the SC office? Lord, wait lang, hindi pa ako ready!

I closed my eyes tight, bracing myself.

But all she did was take her blazer off my shoulders.

“Crazy.” She rolled her eyes as she pulled it back, her tone laced with that signature coldness.

My heart pounded so loud it was humiliating. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha ko. Pero swear, kahit nakakahiya… I wanted her to do that again.

Chapter Text

"Akala ko ba Jazzi hates everyone?" I asked, leaning back on my chair while subtly glancing at her from the corner of the cafeteria. Hindi naman obvious, but my eyes kept flicking toward her table like I couldn’t help it.

She was sitting with Mau, Cai, and Gene sa hindi kalayuang table. Usually I’d spot the three together, laughing about random things habang kumakain, but never with Jazzi. This was the first time I’d seen her eat with them, kaya siguro napakunot talaga noo ko. Jazzi was always that untouchable type—parang may invisible wall sa paligid niya. Seeing her with company? Weirdly out of character.

"It's Mau's birthday today kaya ganyan." Lian answered casually, stabbing her fork into a piece of meat before shoving it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, like she wasn’t really interested in the conversation. "She's been with them since last year, remember? Ang pangit naman kung hindi siya sasama sa celebration."

I hummed, resting my chin on my palm. “Don’t you think Gene should be the president? I mean, siya ‘yung third year. That feels… more fitting.”

Lian’s eyes rolled so hard I almost heard them. "You know the reason why I hate Jazzi so much?"

My brows arched. "Hm?"

"She’s a nepo baby." Lian’s tone dripped with distaste, and she didn’t even bother lowering her voice. "She gets anything that she wants nang hindi nahihirapan. The attention, the position, the money. Everything is laid out for her like some all-access buffet. Nakakainis, right?" She sighed dramatically, setting her fork down for emphasis. "I doubt mapapalitan ang president hangga’t nandito siya. Para bang untouchable ang throne niya."

"But she was doing great, Lian," I countered, a teasing smile creeping onto my lips. I wiggled my brows at her just to provoke a reaction.

Her groan was immediate. "Sana talaga i-crushback ka na niya para tigilan mo na siya." She shook her head, frustrated but clearly used to my antics.

Well, that wouldn’t work on Jazzi. The thing is, if she actually liked me back, I wouldn’t stop. I’d probably like her even more. Mas nakakaadik kasi ‘yung challenge kapag may reciprocation—parang gasolina sa apoy.

Lian and I both went back to focusing on our food, the clinking of utensils filling the lull in our conversation. But then, from the corner of my eye, I noticed Cai making her way toward us. She slid into the seat right beside Lian as if she belonged there.

Napataas agad ang kilay ko. Was she seriously here to flirt with my best friend? Of all the people in the cafeteria, dito pa talaga siya tatabi?

"What are you doing here?" I asked sharply, glaring at her like she was some kind of intruder.

Lian, on the other hand, didn’t even flinch. She was too focused on cutting her food into perfect little pieces. Wala na siyang pake sa mga tao sa paligid niya—very typical of her.

Cai’s smile, however, was calm, almost rehearsed. "Mau invited you two sa party mamaya," she said lightly, as if she hadn’t just walked into enemy territory.

"Hindi ako pwede, may quiz ako tomorrow," Lian said flatly, shaking her head without even sparing Cai a glance. She reached across my plate and shamelessly stole a piece of meat, chewing it with zero guilt.

Typical.

"Jazzi will be there," Cai added, like it was some kind of secret weapon she had been saving for last.

And… well, it worked.

"Sasama kami," I muttered almost instantly, not even thinking twice.

For the first time in forever, Lian’s fork froze midair. She turned to me slowly, eyes narrowing like she was trying to process kung tama ba ‘yung narinig niya. Her brows furrowed in confusion, tilting her head as if I had just announced something insane.

"Sasama ka," I repeated, this time with finality. No room for negotiation.

"No." She refused just as firmly, pushing Cai away a little so she could sit properly without the intrusion. "Unlike you, I actually need to study to pass my quizzes. 1GB lang utak ko, Asta. Huwag mo akong igaya sa mga tulad ninyong 1TB."

I clasped my hands together dramatically, leaning closer with my best pair of pleading eyes. "Please?" I blinked a couple of times, adding just the right amount of puppy-dog effect.

Cai cleared her throat, obviously uncomfortable with the scene unfolding in front of her. She shifted in her seat and avoided eye contact, as if embarrassed for me. Well, bahala siya. Best friend ko naman ‘to, so I’ll act cute whenever I want.

"You know you can’t charm your way into things using that," Lian deadpanned, shaking her head. "Don’t worry, kapag na-late ka ng uwi, just message me. I’ll open the door for you. That’s the least thing I can do."

“See you then?” Cai asked, choosing to ignore the awkwardness.

I nodded, and she finally left to return to their table. Naturally, my gaze followed her, or rather, the people she was going back to.

There she was again—Jazzi.

She sat in her usual quiet demeanor, fork moving methodically as she ate, while Mau, Cai, and Gene carried most of the conversation. Even though she was with them, she barely spoke a word. It wasn’t like she was shy, either. It was more like… she simply didn’t feel the need to say anything at all.

Hindi naman mabaho hininga niya, so bakit ayaw niyang magsalita? Ang mahal ba ng words niya to the point na sayang i-waste sa amin?

And then, as if sensing my stare, Jazzi suddenly looked up.

Our eyes met.

The cafeteria noise seemed to fade for a moment, replaced by the sharp, almost electric awareness that passed between us. She didn’t look away. Neither did I. My heart thudded, heavy but quick, while my mind raced with smug conclusions.

Then her gaze flicked downward—straight to my lips.

See? Sabi ko na nga ba. This girl could never resist me. Ako na ‘to oh.

"Asta."

I blinked, broken out of the trance when Lian called my name.

"Bakit?" I asked, irritated that she interrupted.

She tossed a tissue across the table. "Wipe the sauce sa gilid ng lips mo."

I froze.

"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi?!" I exclaimed, dabbing at the spot frantically.

"Malay ko ba, ngayon ko lang nakita," Lian said nonchalantly, already returning to her food.

NAKAKAINIS NAMAN. So, Jazzi wasn’t looking at me because she was mesmerized? Hindi dahil hindi niya kayang i-resist ang charm ko? SHE WAS JUST STARING AT THE DAMN SAUCE ON MY FACE?!

What the hell.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

"7PM sharp. Susunduin kita."

That was Cai's message after sending me Mau's address. I kept rereading it, like the words would change if I blinked enough. Until now, I couldn’t fully process the fact that I would actually be going to a party… with Jazzi.

Well, I’ve been to countless parties before — people always invited me, sometimes even dragged me along — pero never ko pang nakita si Jazzi sa kahit isa. For sure, she hated the crowd. She hated people, remember? And honestly, stepping into a party for her would feel like choosing death by slow torture.

"Ano bang motif?" Lian asked, narrowing her eyes at me while I fussed with my dress. "Ang sexy naman ng suot mo, hindi ka kaya mabastos doon?"

I smirked, tugging the hem lower. "Wala naman siguro. I’ll stay with Gene and Cai. And for sure, Mau will be busy entertaining her guests."

"Siguraduhin mo lang, Asta. Maraming tao, maraming may gusto sa’yo. Ingat ka," Lian muttered, her tone slipping into that of a nagging mom before she went back to pretending her book was more interesting than me.

When Cai messaged me again, I impulsively kissed Lian’s head before bolting out of the room — partly excited, partly scared she’d throw something at me for being so giggly.

Outside, there was a car waiting. But it wasn’t Cai’s. I knew her car model by heart, and this wasn’t it.

"This is Jazzi’s," I whispered to myself, knocking lightly.

The window rolled down, and there she was — Jazzi, sitting on the driver’s seat like she owned the world. Cai was in the back, grinning. Did she seriously save the shotgun seat para maging passenger princess ako ni Jazzi?

I reached for the handle, but then click. The door locked. My brows instantly furrowed. Ano ’to, gusto niya bang pumasok ako sa bintana?

"Dito ka sa likod," Cai chuckled, clearly enjoying my annoyance.

I pouted but complied, sliding into the back beside her. And just like that, Jazzi looked like our private driver. Pwede naman talaga ako sa shotgun, e. Ang ganda pa naman ng fit ko ngayon.

"Jazzi will never let anyone sit on the passenger seat. Not even Gene or Mau," Cai explained, as if anticipating my glare.

"Bakit?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Cai only shrugged, gaze drifting outside. Typical. My guess? It was just another one of Jazzi’s many quirks — allergic na naman siya sa tao.

When we finally arrived at the party, the place was buzzing. Athletes, students, familiar faces — halatang Mau was popular; the crowd was proof enough.

"Asta is here," someone whispered loud enough for me to catch. Napabuntong-hininga ako. Great. Exactly what I didn’t want. I hoped I wouldn’t steal attention from Mau, kasi nakakahiya naman.

"I’ll look for Mau, dito muna kayo," Cai said, leaving me and Jazzi at a table.

So there we were — sitting across each other, silence thick between us. She was busy scanning the crowd, clearly plotting her escape route. I knew it. She only came here for Mau, and the second she could vanish, she would.

"Doon ata garden nila," I pointed toward the archway lit with fairy lights.

"I didn’t ask," she deadpanned.

"Well, it looks like you’re already searching for a hiding place. I’m just giving you options," I shot back with a smirk.

"That’s too secluded."

"Why? Afraid of ghosts?" I teased.

"I’m afraid of people. Probably there’s already a couple in there." She rolled her eyes, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. At least she was aware enough to admit it.

Then a girl appeared, smiling at Jazzi. "Hi, Jazzi. Mind dancing with me?"

My brow arched, but I smiled sweetly. "Her feet hurt."

"Yeah..." Jazzi mumbled, lips pursed, eyes darting elsewhere. The girl huffed and left, rolling her eyes at me on her way out.

Jazzi suddenly stood up and walked away without a word. For a moment, I almost followed her, pero alam kong magagalit lang siya. Clearly, she was here just to dodge people, not to entertain my persistence.

So I tried to enjoy myself instead — danced with a few students I knew, drank a little. My alcohol tolerance was decent, so I never got tipsy. Still, my mind wasn’t fully in it. Ever since Jazzi walked away, I hadn’t seen her again.

Did she go home already?

"Cai, si Jazzi?" I asked, catching her as she passed by.

"I saw her going that way," she pointed, and I didn’t even hesitate.

And then I found her. Under a tree, eyes closed, looking like she’d fallen asleep. Even in the dim light, she was breathtaking. No makeup, no effort, just… her. Peaceful. Untouchable. Angelic.

I tiptoed closer, heart in my throat. I probably looked like a creepy stalker, pero wala na akong pakialam. This was rare. This was a once-in-a-lifetime view: Jazzi resting without her walls.

"What are you doing?" she asked suddenly, eyes snapping open and locking onto mine.

"I… I was looking for you. And I—" I stammered, only for her to cut me off.

"Marunong ka bang umakyat ng puno?"

"Huh?" Of course I knew how, but not in this dress. And seriously, bakit kami aakyat ng puno ngayon?

"Then just stay there. I’ll climb."

Before I could protest, she was already pulling herself up. I helped steady her until she found a branch. Weird. Gusto ba niyang matulog sa taas?

But then I heard it.

"Meow."

A tiny sound, and suddenly Jazzi was climbing back down, holding a trembling kitten in her arms. My chest melted. The way she cradled it — soft, gentle — it was almost too much.

"Is this Mau’s cat?" I asked.

"I doubt it. Hindi ko rin alam paano nakarating yung kitten sa taas," she said, handing it over when she realized I wanted to hold it.

"Then adopt it! Ang cute pa naman niya, oh." I giggled, showing her the kitten’s tiny face.

"I can’t take care of it. I’m busy." She bit her lip, hesitant. "Ayaw mo ba?"

"Bawal akong magdala ng pet sa dorm, e," I sighed. Truth was, I’d love to. Pero bawal.

"Then let’s raise it together."

I froze, eyes snapping to hers. She was serious.

"Do you want to co-parent with me?" she asked.

YES. I DO. I’LL MARRY YOU.

Chapter Text

"Asta! Pusanggala ka talaga!" Lian almost screamed when she caught sight of me cradling a tiny ball of fur in my arms. Her eyes widened in shock, parang nakakita ng multo. "Alam mong bawal ‘yan dito! Siraulo ka ba?"

"Sshhh!" I pressed a finger to my lips, glancing nervously at the door. "Marinig tayo ni tita (landlady), pagalitan tayo. Gusto mo ba palayasin tayo agad-agad?"

"Talagang palalayasin tayo!" she hissed, marching closer like she was ready to snatch the kitten from me. "Sabi ng rules, bawal magpasok ng pet. Ilabas mo na ‘yan ngayon!" She gave me a shove, pero mas hinigpitan ko lang ‘yung hawak ko sa munting pusa.

I pouted, stroking the kitten’s soft head while it blinked innocently at Lian. "Sige, hindi ka ba naaawa? Look at us, ang cute naming dalawa oh. How can you say no to this face?—and mine?"

Her nostrils flared. "Anong balak mo d’yan, ha? Baka bukas makita ni tita ‘yan. Kapag pinaalis tayo dito, ewan ko na lang talaga!" She raked a hand through her hair, clearly two seconds away from throwing a fit.

"Ihahatid ko siya bukas sa condo ni Jazzi," I answered dreamily, still gazing at the kitten like it was heaven-sent. "Lian, anak namin siya."

Then—pak!

Her palm landed on the back of my head so hard I swear I saw stars. "Aray!" I yelped, rubbing the spot. "Grabe ka, gusto mo bang i-report kita sa barangay?!"

"Gago ka ba? Paano kayo magkakaanak ng pusa? Ikaw nag-ire?!" She narrowed her eyes. "Call Jazzi. Ibalik mo na ‘yan sa kanya."

I huffed, clutching the kitten tighter. "Jazzi will sleep at Mau's. Bawal doon kasi allergic ‘yung isa nilang kasama." I gave her my best puppy eyes. "Please? One night lang."

She groaned, throwing her hands in the air. "Hay, Lord, bakit ba ako nilagay sa room na ‘to?"

But after a long sigh—sign na talo na siya—she jabbed a finger at me. "Fine. Pero ikaw maglilinis kapag nagdumi ‘yan, ha. I swear, Asta, kapag ako napasubo d’yan, isasama na rin kita sa pagkatapon."

"Yes, ma’am!" I saluted, grinning, then hurried to make a makeshift bed using an old blanket for our newest family member.

Habang inaayos ko, na-realize kong wala pa pala siyang pangalan. Tragic. A child without an identity. What kind of mother was I?

I wanted to ask Jazzi right then and there, pero wala akong number niya sa phone. Kay Gene and Cai lang meron. Eh kung sila ang tanungin ko, chances are deadma rin kasi busy lagi ang dalawang ‘yon.

I stared at the kitten, humming. "Ano kayang magandang name? Jazzi and Asta… something in between?"

I glanced at Lian, who was already curled up on her bunk bed. Perfect timing.

"Lian," I whispered, shaking the frame.

She groaned, rubbing her eyes. "Ano na na naman?!"

"Anong magandang name ng pusa?" I beamed at her, parang proud contestant sa Q&A portion.

For a moment she just stared at me like she was reevaluating every decision that led her to this moment. Then, with the heaviest sigh of the century, she muttered, "Asta. Ang ganda mo."

I gasped dramatically. "Aww, really? Finally some appreciation from—"

"Ang ganda mong isako tapos itapon sa labas—TARANTADO KA BA?!" she suddenly barked, her voice so loud that even the kitten flinched and meowed in protest.

I clutched the kitten protectively. "Hoy! Huwag mong takutin ang anak ko! Pag pinuntahan tayo ni tita at nakita siya, ikaw ang papatulugin ko sa labas!"

She covered her face with her blanket and rolled over. "Tatanong ka pa kasi ng kalokohan sa disoras ng gabi. Badtrip!"

I pouted, hugging the kitten closer. "Trip lang naman e. Ang sungit mo."

The kitten purred against my chest like it agreed. See? At least may isang kakampi ako rito.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

The next morning, halos hindi pa sumisikat nang buo ang araw when I hurriedly typed a message for Cai, asking kung nasaan si Jazzi. I was cradling the kitten in my arms and the poor thing kept meowing softly, restless as if alam niya na bawal siya sa loob ng dorm. Baka kasi mahuli siya ni tita kapag bigla itong dumating for inspection. Kaya bago pa mangyari iyon, I knew I had to bring her to Jazzi.

Cai’s reply came fast, almost as if she was expecting me to ask.

"Get ready. Jazzi will be outside in a few minutes."

Ayun, wala na akong choice kundi magmadali. It was only six in the morning—9AM pa ang class ko—but I already found myself preparing to leave like I was running late for something urgent. Ang ironic kasi technically, I was hours early.

And just like Cai promised, a few minutes later, I spotted Jazzi’s familiar car heading toward me. The kitten immediately perked up in my arms, his tiny body vibrating with a faint purr, as if recognizing na ang other mom niya ang nasa loob ng sasakyan. Nakakatuwa rin kasi parang mas excited pa siya kaysa sa akin.

When Jazzi pulled over right in front of me, she didn’t even waste time. She just reached over to push the passenger door open, a silent invitation. Napataas tuloy ang kilay ko.

“I thought bawal kaming sumakay sa passenger seat mo?” I asked, pretending to sound annoyed, kahit totoo namang curious ako.

Her eyes flickered toward me, expression as flat as ever. “Not you,” she answered, her chin tilting toward the kitten instead. “Make him sit there.”

I pouted, acting offended, pero sumunod pa rin ako sa gusto niya. I carefully placed the kitten on the passenger seat, then climbed into the back seat like a sulking kid. She didn’t even comment on my theatrics. Instead, she immediately shifted gears and drove straight, her focus locked on the road. Buti na lang hindi maligalig ‘yung pusa.

It didn’t take long until I realized where we were heading. My eyes widened the moment the signage came into view.

Rivera Condominium.

JAZZI. IS. FREAKING. RICH. No—scratch that. She’s not just rich, she’s filthy rich. I knew her family was well off, but this? This was another level.

Tahimik lang ako habang hawak-hawak pa rin ang pusa, following close behind her as we entered the building. She was effortlessly composed, while I was low-key having a mini breakdown inside my head. She even pressed the elevator button for us, her posture calm and precise, pero hindi siya nag-initiate ng conversation. Not a single word. Para bang sanay na siyang i-block out ang buong mundo.

And yet, kahit gano’n, talagang isinama niya ako sa condo niya. For a brief moment, I wondered—nakapunta na kaya rito sila Cai or anyone else from our circle? Or ako lang talaga ang unang outsider she ever allowed inside her space? I secretly hoped I was the first.

The moment we stepped into her unit, I froze again. The inside was… vibrant. Way too vibrant compared to her personality. The walls were a soft cream, accented with subtle hints of warm tones, and everything was so neatly arranged. Wala ni isang gamit na nakakalat, and the floor practically gleamed. It was spotless to the point na para bang hindi pa talaga siya nakatira rito.

“You look shocked,” Jazzi finally spoke, her voice breaking the silence. She didn’t even glance at me, though. She was busy scanning the cabinets as if looking for something.

“Anong oras pasok mo?” she asked casually, still rummaging through drawers. “Let’s buy her things. Wala akong lalagyanan ng food dito for cats.”

“Nine,” I answered, hugging the kitten closer.

She checked her watch, gave a short nod, then simply said, “Wait for me there.”

After that, she slipped into her room. Probably to change, kasi obvious namang hindi pa siya naka-uniform.

Left alone, I wandered around, curiosity winning over my initial shyness. My eyes darted toward the shelf filled with picture frames. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud—Jazzi was so cute when she was a baby. Ang dami niyang photos, ang dami ring nakadisplay na medals and trophies. Each one gleaming under the soft lighting, like physical evidence that she really was a prodigy. Ang dami niyang sinalihan, ang dami niyang na-achieve.

Then my eyes landed on one particular photo. Jazzi was standing proudly… with a chicken. A chicken wearing a skirt. Napahawak ako sa bibig ko just to stifle my laugh.

Did she seriously keep a chicken as a pet? What was wrong with this girl?

A few minutes later, her bedroom door opened. And just like that, lumabas si Jazzi already dressed in her uniform. She looked effortlessly composed, like she had all the time in the world kahit obvious namang nagmadali rin siyang mag-ayos.

I swear, she looked stunning. The neat cut of her uniform fit her perfectly, highlighting the sharpness of her posture. Para siyang walking embodiment ng “untouchable genius” trope you only read about in books. Except she wasn’t just playing the part—she really was one.

“Let’s go?” she asked, voice calm as if hindi niya alam na para siyang heart attack in human form.

“Paano si—” I stopped mid-sentence.

Right. The kitten still didn’t have a name.

“We can leave him sa guard house muna,” Jazzi said quickly, as if she already anticipated my hesitation. “I’ll also ask someone na maglagay ng CCTV around my condo so kapag wala ako rito, I could still check up on him.”

For the first time, she was speaking longer than usual—hindi tungkol sa academics, hindi tungkol sa org duties. Just her being… concerned. Caring. Almost soft. And honestly? Nakakapanibago.

I simply nodded, not trusting my voice, and followed her out.

By exactly 7AM, we finally left. Sakto ring kaka-open lang ng pet store near her condo. Inside, she went straight to the essentials. Food trays, feeding bowls, litter box, scratching post, a bag full of cat food, even treats. She didn’t even hesitate. She was so focused and attentive, as if she’d been preparing to be a cat mom all her life.

Watching her, a random thought crossed my mind—kapag nagkaroon kaya kami ng anak in the future, would she be this attentive too? The idea made me smile unconsciously, my chest warming at the thought.

I was busy daydreaming when suddenly—

“Hi, Miss.”

I flinched when someone bumped into me. My heart skipped, not from kilig this time, but from something else entirely. Fear.

The guy who blocked my path looked… intimidating. He wasn’t the type you’d casually brush off. His aura was heavy, unsettling. Tattoos crawled over his arms, his long unkempt hair tied loosely, a scruffy mustache shadowing his mouth. Even the piercing on his eyelid looked threatening. Everything about him screamed stay away.

“Why?” I managed to ask, my voice lower than usual.

He held out his phone. On the screen was the contact app, waiting. He wanted my number.

I instinctively looked around, praying Jazzi would notice. But she was a few steps away, completely absorbed with the toy shelf, carefully choosing. No one else was nearby either.

My stomach twisted with unease.

“Sorry, I have a girlfriend kasi,” I said, forcing a nervous laugh. Maybe he’d back off.

His lip curled into a smirk. “Tinanong ko ba?”

My eyebrow shot up. The audacity. A part of me wanted to snap back, to unleash my sharp tongue—but my fear held me down. His presence was suffocating.

I tried to step around him, pero inunahan niya akong harangan. His eyes scanned me, lingering. My mind started spiraling—hindi ba niya nakikita na naka-uniform ako? A student. A college student. What would a guy like him even want from me?

Before panic could fully take over, a voice cut through the tension.

“Asta!”

I spun around.

There was Jazzi, standing a few feet away, her gaze sharp, unreadable. “What are you doing?” she asked, her tone carrying that weight only she could manage.

Relief flooded me. I ran toward her instinctively, like she was the only safe place in the room.

The man’s gaze followed. “Who are you?” he demanded, scoffing. “You’re her girlfriend?”

Jazzi didn’t even blink. “Jaze Zianra Rivera,” she said flatly, her tone a mixture of warning and declaration.

Then she lowered her eyes to the man’s shirt, her voice turning colder. “I know that shirt.”

I glanced at it, confused. It read: Alonzo & Co. Architecture.

My jaw slackened. Wait—wasn’t that…?

My eyes widened as the realization hit. Her mom’s firm.

“You work for my mother?” Jazzi asked, her words crisp, every syllable sharp.

The guy faltered. He averted his gaze.

Jazzi scoffed lightly. “Probably not. My mom would never hire a guy like you.”

And without another word, she reached out—her hand closing around mine.

The contact sent a jolt through me. My skin tingled where her fingers wrapped securely, my chest exploding with warmth despite the tension moments ago. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t even look back at the man. She just led me away, steady, untouchable, and utterly grounding.

All my worries melted instantly. My mind went blank. My vision tunneled. Because all I could see, all I could feel, was her hand holding mine.

LORD, SALAMAT. Favorite mo talaga ako!

Chapter Text

“Ayos lang kayong dalawa?”

Gene’s voice sliced through the room the moment she spotted us—me and Jazzi—inside the office together.

Her casual question, however, had the weight of a spotlight. The atmosphere shifted as three pairs of eyes turned toward us almost in sync, scanning, questioning, curious. It was the kind of silence na hindi naman awkward, pero ramdam mo talaga ‘yung unspoken what’s going on?

And who could blame them? Because the sight we made was something unusual. Something worth noticing.

Jazzi wasn’t looking at me at all, her attention seemingly glued to anything but my existence. Yet there I was, sitting right beside her—within her personal bubble that she so fiercely guarded. A place no one dared to occupy.

My heart was doing little somersaults. I could practically hear the thud echoing in my chest. Sobra akong kinikilig, to the point that I wanted to bury my face in my hands. It felt like some forbidden luxury, this proximity. But then again… why? What was the reason behind this sudden tolerance? If she didn’t want me here, she could’ve easily shooed me away. Pwede naman niya kasing sabihin straight out that she hated losing sight of me. That she preferred me close. At least then, may explanation ako sa kilig na ito.

But no. She stayed quiet. She just… let me sit.

Then, out of nowhere, Jazzi’s calm voice pierced the air. “Did you bring what I asked?” she directed at Gene, sharp and straightforward.

Gene gave a quick nod and reached for a folder from her bag, sliding it across the table.

And just like that—my moment was over. Jazzi pressed her hand lightly against my arm and nudged me away, as if reclaiming her boundaries in silence.

I almost groaned. Napakasama talaga ng ugali. It was as if she was saying, that’s enough indulgence for today. Kung hindi ko lang siya crush, baka kanina ko pa siya inaway sa harap ng lahat.

Defeated, I dragged myself toward the other side of the table and sat beside Cai. Among the four, si Cai talaga ang pinaka-safe kausap. Hindi nagsusungit, hindi nagtataboy, and sometimes, I swore she tried extra hard not to get on my nerves. Siguro nga may dahilan. A gut feeling whispered she liked Lian, and because of that, careful siya not to make me hate her.

“What happened?” Cai asked in a low voice, leaning just a bit closer. Her brows drew together in curiosity. “Jazzi hates people sitting beside her. Anong ginawa mo?”

I shrugged like it was nothing, kahit ang totoo, gusto kong i-frame sa utak ko ‘yung nangyari kanina. “There’s this rude guy kasi kanina. And she saved me.”

Cai’s lips parted in surprise, then her expression softened into something thoughtful. “Do you know why Jazzi and I are friends, kahit na she’s like that?”

I turned to her, brows arching. Honestly, I didn’t. All I ever assumed was na dahil lagi silang magkasama sa student council office, friendship just… happened. I never bothered to think deeper.

“There’s this guy before,” Cai began, her voice quiet, as though the memory still lingered heavily. “He was catcalling a girl right outside campus. Mau and I tried to glare at him, but let’s be real—wala naman talaga kaming laban. Hanggang tingin lang kami.” A chuckle escaped her, tinged with self-deprecation. “Then suddenly, Jazzi walked up and confronted him. Walang takot, Asta. She got punched pa nga by the guy. But she stood back up like nothing happened. And then—believe it or not—she punched him back.”

I gasped, eyes widening. “She punched a guy?”

“Yeah.” Cai chuckled, shaking her head, admiration clear in her tone. “Jazzi hates those kinds of guys. The ones who disrespect women. She won’t just stand there and let it slide. Kahit alam niyang dehado siya, she’ll fight back.”

I turned slowly, my eyes falling on Jazzi again. She was immersed in conversation with Gene, her hands gesturing faintly as they discussed whatever was in the folder. From the outside, she looked like the same old Jazzi: composed, logical, distant.

But now… I could see something more. The girl I liked wasn’t just some aloof genius, not just the unreachable Rivera everyone painted her to be. She was someone who fought. Someone who carried quiet bravery, who wouldn’t stand still in the face of injustice.

I felt a smile tugging at my lips. My heart hummed with a warm certainty. Ang ganda talaga ng taste ko. I knew it.

By 8:45, I finally stood to leave, telling them I needed to get to class. To my surprise, Cai also rose, insisting to walk me out. I thought she would only accompany me hanggang labas ng office, pero hindi—she actually matched my steps, walking beside me down the corridor.

“Can I ask something?” Cai broke the silence after a while, her tone curious yet careful.

“Sure,” I said, hugging my bag against me.

She tilted her head at me, a hint of amusement flashing in her eyes. “How do you do that? You just… manifested your way closer to Jazzi, right? And now, you can sit beside her without her complaining.”

Her words made me laugh. I shook my head. “Manifest, Cai. That’s the key.” Then I eyed her knowingly, lips curling into a sly smile. “Wait. Gusto mo si Lian, ‘no?”

Her laugh came out awkward, a little breathless. For a second, she hesitated, but eventually she nodded. “I do. But I heard she hates attention. And I’m…” She gestured vaguely to herself. “A band vocalist, a student council officer. People know me, Asta. And I bet she hates me for that. But still… I want her to notice me.”

I stopped walking, forcing her to halt too. Facing her directly, I said, “You manifest the wrong way, Cai. Wanting keeps it far away. Assuming keeps it closer.”

Her brows furrowed. “What?” She let out a disbelieving laugh.

I grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Nabasa ko lang. Sabi doon, wanting has the energy of lack. Parang you keep telling the universe na wala ka pa noon, kaya hindi nagbabago reality mo. Pero assuming—it carries the energy of certainty. Your actions align as if it’s already real. When you embody that attitude—it’s already mine—the reality starts catching up.”

Then I giggled, lowering my voice as though sharing a secret. “Kaya nga asawa na tawag ko kay Jazzi e.”

Cai shook her head, amused. “Makapal lang talaga mukha mo, iyon ‘yon.”

“Hindi ah!” I shot back, half-pouting, half-grinning. “Tingnan mo, kapag kinasal kami ni Jazzi, hindi ka invited!”

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

4PM.

Time felt like it was deliberately mocking me, dragging itself slower than usual just because I was waiting for it to move. Ang hirap pala kapag may inaabangan, lalo na kung gusto mo nang matapos ang buong araw para lang makarating sa part na inaasam mo. All I wanted was to go home—or technically, not even home, but to Jazzi’s condo.

We agreed na pagkatapos ng uwian, sabay kaming pupunta roon para ayusin ang gamit ng pusa. Just thinking about it made me restless, tapping my pen against the desk as if doing so would make the clock speed up.

Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin siya natatanong kung anong magandang pangalan ibibigay sa kitten. Would she even give me a serious answer? Baka mamaya ang maisip niya lang is “Mingming” or “Muning.” My God, ang pangit naman pakinggan. Ang dami namang magandang pangalan sa mundo tapos doon lang siya kukuha?

"Ms. Abueva."

My head snapped up when I heard my professor call me. Halos mahulog pa nga ‘yung ballpen na hawak ko. For a split second, I panicked—recitation na naman ba? Because honestly, hindi ko pa talaga nabuksan ‘yung libro ko this time.

But instead of throwing a question, my prof just squinted at me and said, “Someone’s looking for you.”

Napasilip tuloy ako sa pinto, half-expecting to see Jazzi standing there, arms crossed, waiting for me. My heart even skipped for a second. Pero hindi siya iyon.

Napangiwi ako. Nakakainis.

“Pakisabi sir, absent ako,” I muttered, slumping back on my chair.

My whole row of classmates burst into laughter, and even my professor glared at me as if I had just declared war against his authority.

Pero seryoso, ayoko talagang lumabas. Bakit ba kasi kailangang si Mike pa? Out of all people, siya pa ang maghahanap sa akin. For what reason exactly? Magkakapera ba ako kung kakausapin ko siya? Magsasabi ba siya ng something groundbreaking? Will talking to him make Jazzi suddenly fall in love with me? Eh hindi naman, ‘di ba?

Still, I had no choice. Napilitan akong tumayo, and with dragging feet, I headed out of the room.

Nandoon nga siya sa labas, leaning against the wall like some wannabe model, both hands stuffed casually inside his pockets. May pa-smile pa siya nang makita ako.

“Asta.” His voice carried that usual confidence, as if calling my name was already enough.

“Bakit?” I asked, my tone flat, drained of any interest.

“Jazzi asked me to call you—”

Hindi ko na siya hinintay matapos. Kung sinabi niya agad na si Jazzi pala ang dahilan, eh ‘di sana kanina pa ako tumakbo papunta. Napakahina naman ng execution ng lalaking ito.

I left him hanging and headed straight for the student council office, heart pounding at the thought of seeing her.

“Yes?” I said, poking my head inside.

And then my steps faltered.

Because there she was—Jazzi—engaged in a conversation with someone I immediately recognized. The reigning Ms. Ardenwood University. The campus queen.

My feet froze in place.

Jazzi and the girl both stopped talking when they noticed me. And then, like always, Jazzi’s reaction was so calm, so collected.

“You can leave,” she told the other girl, adjusting her glasses as if the moment didn’t faze her at all.

But the beauty queen raised a brow and turned toward me instead. “Why are you here, Ms. 1st runner up?”

Her tone dripped with mockery.

“Pinatawag ako ng girlfriend ko. Bakit?” I shot back, glaring.

She smirked, amused. “Is Ms. Rivera your girlfriend?” She turned to Jazzi, lips curving. “Pinatawag mo ba siya?”

“Yes,” Jazzi replied smoothly. Then, with perfect timing, she added, “And no, she’s not my girlfriend.”

“YET!” I cut in before she could breathe another word. “Not yet.”

The girl laughed—mocking, dismissive. “Weirdo. Sinasayang mo itsura mo.” And with that, she spun around and strutted out, slamming the door shut behind her.

My blood boiled. “Damn you! Akala mo ang ganda-ganda mo? And how dare you tell me na sinasayang ko ganda ko? She is THE Jazzi Rivera, idiot! KUNG TINGIN MO MABABA STANDARD KO, PWES TINGIN KO KAILANGAN MO TAASAN ‘YUNG IYO!” I yelled after her, though my voice only hit the closed door.

Grabe. Kuhang-kuha talaga ng babae na ‘yon ang pikang pilit kong pinapakalma.

Only when the silence fell again did I realize—oh my God.

I was inside the student council office. With Jazzi. And she heard… everything.

For the first time in my life, nahihiya ako. My cheeks burned as if someone had pressed a heater against them. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako titingin—sa sahig ba, sa dingding, o baka sa langit na lang para hindi ko siya makita. Ang alam ko lang, I couldn’t bring myself to look straight into Jazzi’s eyes.

So I lowered my head, shoulders hunched, and slowly walked toward her desk. Each step felt heavier than the last, parang bawat hakbang ko ay nagpapalakas ng kaba sa dibdib ko. I fiddled with my fingers, forcing myself to breathe, pero hindi talaga kaya.

Then she called my name.

“Asta.”

My whole body stiffened. “Oh?” My voice cracked—just a tiny bit, but enough to betray me.

“Look at me.”

My head shook instantly, almost violently, like a reflex. Walang paraan, hindi ko talaga kaya. If I looked into her eyes, I was afraid she’d see everything—lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

But Jazzi was Jazzi. She didn’t accept refusals, not even the smallest ones.

She stood up, slow and deliberate, the chair scraping lightly against the tiled floor. My heart went into overdrive. Then, without hesitation, she reached out and lifted my chin with her hand, guiding my face upward until her gaze locked with mine.

And I swear—lahat ng internal organs ko nag-somersault. Stomach, lungs, liver, pati appendix ata nag-flip.

Her touch was firm yet gentle, her eyes sharp but unreadable. Parang binubuksan niya lahat ng sikreto kong pinipilit kong itago. Well, hindi naman talaga siya secret. PERO WHAT IF MATAKOT SIYA KAPAG NALAMAN NA SERYOSO TALAGA AKO SA MGA PINAGGAGAGAWA KO?

Did she even know what she was doing to me? Na bawat simpleng galaw niya, bawat titig niya, was enough to drive me insane? Did she realize na sa mga simpleng ganito lang, pinapaasa na niya ako?

But then again, okay lang. Because she was Jazzi Rivera. Kahit magkaroon pa siya ng sampung hidden girlfriends, I’d still take it. Kasalanan ko naman kung bakit ako nahulog nang ganito. Ako na bahala mag-move on if ever.

“Who told you you can shout inside the SC office?” she asked, her tone cool but laced with authority. “And who told you you can use my name as you want to?”

Her head tilted slightly, like she was studying me. And I could only gape, speechless, because who could think straight when Jazzi Rivera was holding your chin like that?

“You know there’s a punishment for that, right?” she added, voice low, almost threatening.

“A-ano?” My voice came out small, the bravado I had earlier completely gone.

“You need to work with me and help me finish with my work.”

I bit down on my lower lip, hard, just to stop the grin threatening to break free.

Oh, honey. That’s not a punishment for me.

Chapter Text

Jazzi called me earlier, explaining in her usual concise and no-nonsense tone the changes in the program flow for the upcoming outreach event. Apparently, nagkaroon daw sila ng quick meeting kanina habang nasa klase ako, and since I wasn’t around to hear the updates, pina-excuse na lang niya ako so she could tell me herself. Typical Jazzi—practical, efficient, at palaging siguradong walang makakalusot na detail.

After class, dumiretso ako sa office to confirm with her if our plan for later was still on. She barely looked up from her computer screen when she answered, “Tuloy,” her fingers still flying across the keyboard. I couldn’t help but stare for a moment. No wonder ang labo ng mata niya. With the amount of time she spent glued to her monitor, her eyes were practically sacrificing themselves to her productivity.

“Jazzi, your mother called pala kanina,” Mau announced while shoving her notebooks into her bag, clearly in a rush to get somewhere.

Jazzi paused, brow furrowing. “Who?”

“The supervisor,” Mau clarified. “Sabi niya, sabihin daw namin sa ’yo na tapos na raw magkabit ng CCTV sa condo mo.” She shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “You might know what she meant by that.”

“Para saan ang CCTV?” Gene piped in, curious.

“For our cat.” Jazzi’s reply was short, clipped, but enough to make everyone in the room pause.

My lips tugged into a grin before I could stop myself. “Our,” she said. OUR cat.

Cai and Mau immediately exchanged looks and burst into laughter. Their timing was so annoyingly perfect that I wanted to throw something at them. Every single time na kinikilig ako, sila rin mismo ang nangunguna sa pang-asar. Para bang may kontrabida akong dalawang sidekick. If only it was legal to suplex them on the spot, ginawa ko na.

“Anong pangalan?” Gene asked, leaning forward with genuine curiosity.

And that was when I froze. I turned to Jazzi, silently begging her to answer properly this time. She looked back at me, then shifted her gaze to Gene.

“Kitty.”

Tangina. Sabi ko na nga ba. Napapikit na lang ako. Lalaki pa naman ’yon tapos “Kitty”? What kind of legacy was that supposed to be? Imagine kung mababati siya ng mga kaibigan niya. “Hello, Kitty.” Nakakainsulto. Nakakahiya.

For the first time ever, napikon talaga ako kay Jazzi. The urge to roll my eyes at her was overwhelming, but I knew if I did, Cai and Mau would only tease me more. At baka bumula pa sa katatawa.

By the time we were walking down the hallway on our way to the parking lot, tahimik lang ako. I wasn’t giving Jazzi the satisfaction of a conversation. Kung gusto niya ng kausap, kausapin niya na lang sarili niya. Ako? Magsa-silent treatment muna.

“Why are you sulking?” she finally asked, glancing at me from the corner of her eye.

I kept my lips sealed. Bahala siya. Hindi ako bibigay.

And then—like a cruel twist of fate—the sky decided to ruin my peace. Biglang bumuhos ang ulan. No warning, no drizzle build-up, just heavy drops crashing down against the pavement. The weather earlier had been perfectly fine, almost too perfect. Buti na lang, always ready ako. I pulled out my trusty umbrella, smug and prepared.

“Wala kang payong?” I asked, stopping when I noticed she hadn’t moved from the end of the hallway.

She shook her head, looking almost indifferent to the sudden downpour.

“Sumilong ka na,” I offered, and without hesitation, she stepped under my umbrella.

“Are you mad because of the kitten’s name?” she asked casually while we were walking, her voice calm as always.

Halos magkadikit na kami habang naglalakad. Honestly, hindi na rin kasi maayos ang silong namin—pang-isang tao lang talaga itong payong ko. At least tuyo ang tuktok ng ulo namin, pero mula balikat pababa, wala na. Basang-basa pa rin.

“Who would name their cat Kitty when it’s a boy?” I rolled my eyes dramatically, making sure she saw it.

“Then we can change it to Zinley.” she answered, matter-of-factly. “Your second name is Quinley, right?”

Napalingon ako agad sa kanya, stunned. My heart actually skipped. Wait lang. She… knew?

And then I smiled—like, full smile, the kind na hindi ko na kayang pigilan. Almost hugged her right there on the spot. Not even because she finally gave the cat a decent name, but because she remembered my second name. Nobody called me by that. Wala. I never even used it. Astherielle was already long enough, bakit ko pa gagamitin ang Quinley? Pero Jazzi—she knew. She noticed.

“Hey.” Jazzi snapped me back to reality, her brows lifting slightly. “Para kang sinaniban d’yan.”

“Just happy,” I said, grinning like an idiot.

“I think so too. Dikit ka nang dikit sa akin, oh.” She pointed at our shoulders na halos magkadikit na magkadikit, kahit totoo naman—mas marami pa akong espasyo sa kabilang side ng payong.

But did I care? Nope. Not at all. I continued walking beside her, deliberately leaning closer, brushing shoulders with her every other step. The world could flood for all I cared. Basta ako, happy. I didn’t mean this tho. Mamatay na mga korap.

Until Jazzi stopped walking.

Before I could react, she snatched the umbrella straight from my hands with her quick reflexes—at tumakbo siya palayo!

“Tangina!” I shouted, standing frozen for a split second before chasing her.

Rainwater instantly poured down on me, soaking my uniform in seconds. Meanwhile, Jazzi was running ahead, her figure covered perfectly under my payong, slightly grinning like she’d just pulled off the prank of the year.

The audacity. The betrayal. The sheer nerve of this woman.

And yet—God, she was beautiful even when she was being the most annoying human alive.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

I glared at Jazzi the moment I reached the parking lot, and if looks could kill, baka kanina pa siya natuluyan. Nakaupo siya sa passenger seat as if wala siyang kasalanan, as if hindi siya ang dahilan kung bakit para akong binuhusan ng isang drum ng tubig ulan. Nasa punto na ako na gusto ko siyang sakalin mula sa bintana ng kotse niya, kahit pa alam kong wala akong lakas laban sa kanya.

"You're soaked." Jazzi’s voice came out almost casual, but there was that flicker in her eyes, parang gulat na gulat siya. Like she was surprised na umulan, surprised na nabasa ako, surprised na may consequence yung childish stunt niya kanina. Na para bang hindi siya ang unang dahilan kung bakit basang-basa ako ngayon.

"Can you drive?" she added, tilting her head.

I leveled her a stern look, cold and sharp. "No. But I can drive you insane."

The words fell from my lips with a finality that made even me pause. Stern talaga. Dead serious. Bahala na siya kung anong klaseng “insane” ang pumasok sa utak niya, pero ako, isa lang ang alam ko: hindi ako sasakay sa kotse niya hangga’t hindi siya humihingi ng maayos na sorry.

"Okay then." With that, lumipat siya ng seat, iniwan ang passenger side, at dumiretso sa driver’s seat. She moved with that unbothered grace of hers, like shifting seats was nothing, like moving roles came easy to her. She buckled her seatbelt, then turned her head toward me. "Get in."

Pero kahit anong kumpas niya ng kamay, kahit anong pilit ng boses niya, hindi ko pa rin siya pinansin. I only stood there, arms crossed, hair dripping, giving her the most blank, unreadable expression I could manage. Mas mabuti na ‘yon kaysa makita niya na pinipigilan kong mapikon at mapangiti nang sabay.

Jazzi sighed, long and heavy, the kind of sigh that carried both frustration and surrender. Slowly, she unfastened her seatbelt, pushed open her door, and stepped out of the car. The rain immediately clung to her clothes, droplets running down her glasses, but she didn’t flinch. Hindi siya nagmadali. Hindi rin siya nagpakita ng galit. She just walked toward me with calm, measured steps—like she had already decided what she was going to do.

Then, without warning, binuksan niya ang back door, and before I could protest, she bent down and carried me. Yes, carried me like I was weightless, like I wasn’t dripping wet, like I wasn’t seconds away from screaming in disbelief.

My eyes widened, my jaw nearly dropped. BASANG BASA AKO TAPOS BUBUHATIN NIYA AKO? Seriously? Ano pang silbi ng pag-agaw niya ng payong ko kung sa huli, pareho rin kaming magbabasa?

"Gago ka ba?" I yelled, my voice echoing inside the cramped space of the parking lot.

There it was—the boiling point. The uncontainable frustration. The kind of rage na kahit ako, natatawa na lang sa sarili ko. I was so sorry, Jazzi. Mahal kita pero sumusobra ka na.

"I hate it when someone is forcing me to do something."

Her voice wasn’t loud, pero ramdam ko agad yung bigat ng tono. It was sharp, low, and carried that edge na parang kasalanan ko na agad. She wasn’t teasing anymore. She wasn’t the smug, composed Jazzi na sanay akong kaharapin. This was different. And it froze me for a moment.

Pasalamat talaga siya at pinaiwan niya ibang gamit namin sa office. Kung nadamay doon ang mga papers ko—if even a single page got ruined because of this stunt—baka hindi na ako nakipag-usap sa kanya nang matagal. Pero heto pa rin ako. Staring at her. Seething. And still… ridiculously, hopelessly drawn to her.

Magkaiba ‘yon, okay? Crush is crush. Ang asar ay asar. Kaya kong ihiwalay. Kahit magkadikit na sila ngayon sa utak ko.

"I won’t open the aircon, baka lalo kang lamigin," Jazzi said matter-of-factly as she slid back into the driver’s seat. Her tone softened, like she was pulling herself back from that earlier snap. She buckled her seatbelt, adjusted her glasses, and kept her eyes on the windshield. "I’m sorry."

The words landed quietly, almost drowned out by the steady thrum of rain against the car roof. I turned my head slowly, almost cautiously, to look at her.

"I didn’t mean to offend you." Her voice was steadier now, almost careful. "I’ll never let my impulsive thoughts win again."

My lips pressed together, a stubborn line. "No, it’s fine," I muttered, barely audible.

Her brows furrowed. "What?"

I cleared my throat and forced the words out, louder this time. "Just be comfortable around me. Kahit anong prank pa ’yan, I can bear it, Jaz."

Her head turned, her gaze snapping toward me so quick it made me hold my breath. "Jaz?" she repeated, the syllable low, suspicious, dangerous.

"Yeah," I said, shrugging like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Why?"

"You’re not allowed to call me that." She muttered it under her breath, but the way her lips curved, the way her lashes fluttered—parang may ibang ibig sabihin.

I nodded, biting my lower lip. "Okay."

"In public," she added, eyes back on the road.

Another nod. Another press of my lips to hide the smile threatening to take over. Alam ko na. I was getting there. Slowly. Unnoticeably. I was entering her world, brick by brick, barrier by barrier. She was letting me in. Sabi ko na nga ba. Bibigay rin siya sa charm ko.

"Jaz, maganda ba ako?" I asked out of nowhere, my voice light, teasing, but there was that sliver of vulnerability I couldn’t quite hide.

Her hands tightened slightly on the steering wheel, but her voice came calm. "Everyone’s beautiful, Asta. That’s what my mom told me."

"May chance ba na magkagusto ka sa isang tao?" I pressed, leaning just slightly toward her, testing the waters. "I mean, kahit hindi sa akin."

A beat of silence. Then Jazzi heaved a long sigh, shoulders lifting, then falling. "Tao lang din ako, Asta. Nagkakagusto rin."

I nodded quickly, lips twitching into a small smile. "So, may chance ako sa ’yo?"

Her answer came flat. Brutal. Unflinching. "Wala."

My head snapped toward her, disbelief rushing up my throat. Napairap ako so hard parang baka tumalon na lang palabas yung eyeballs ko.
Bwiset talaga kausap ’to. Kahit sana ‘pag-iisipan ko’ ayos na ‘yon e.

"Napakastraightforward mo naman, sobra ka." I crossed my arms and leaned back into the seat, rolling my eyes dramatically. "Magbabago rin isip mo. Magiging akin ka rin."

Jazzi didn’t even flinch. She just nodded slowly, her lips twitching as if she was holding back a smile. "Tingnan natin."

And just like that, kahit drenched ako, kahit kumukulo pa rin ang dugo ko, I felt it again. That dangerous pull. That inevitability. Na kahit anong tanggi niya ngayon, I knew—deep down—she was already halfway mine.

Chapter Text

Everything went smoothly, at least on the surface. Ang ironic lang kasi kahit ilang araw na rin kaming sabay-sabay pumapasok at lumalabas ni Jazzi, never pa talagang nagtugma ang schedule naming dalawa. Lagi siyang may kailangan gawin, lagi rin akong may inaasikaso. So instead of going home early, naghihintayan kami just so we could walk out together. All for Zinley. Our adopted kitten.

Kung iisipin mo, sobrang random talaga ng buong adoption na ‘yon. Hindi siya planado, and yet here we are, two people na hindi man lang magkasundo sa time management, suddenly united by a stray cat. Nakakatawa kasi if you think about it, Jazzi’s filthy rich—like, she could literally buy a designer-bred cat anytime she wanted. Pero she didn’t. At least not this time. Ako naman, I never really liked the idea of buying pets. I always told myself that if I’d ever get one, mag-a-adopt talaga ako. Mas fulfilling, mas totoo. I even mentioned that to Jazzi once, pero as usual, wala naman siyang pake. She only shrugged, like she always does, and continued scrolling through her phone. Classic Jazzi.

"Jazzi, sasama ka ba mamaya?" Gene suddenly asked habang busy pa siyang nagsa-sign ng papers. "You know? Celebration. I finally got a girlfriend for real." She even chuckled and then turned to me, parang sinasadya talaga akong tuksuhin. That earned her a sharp eye-roll from me.

"Good for you, but I'm busy." Jazzi replied without even looking up, her eyes still glued to her computer screen.

As for me, I was at the student council office dahil sabi ni Cai may new clothes na darating. Mga pahabol donations before the outreach program. Ilang araw na lang din pala at outreach na mismo, which means makikita ko na naman si Mike—na halos isang linggo ko nang iniwasan. Ayoko lang talaga siyang makita.

"May girlfriend ka na? Sino?" Mau chimed in, curiosity written all over her face as she leaned closer to Gene.

"She’s living abroad," Gene said, eyes twinkling with excitement. "But uuwi raw siya sa Christmas for vacation. Ipapakilala ko sa inyo." She flashed a lovesick smile, her cheeks practically glowing.

Halatang-halata na in love siya. And honestly, good for her. Pero of course, that thought spiraled into another: kailan kaya ako? When will it be my turn?

My gaze unconsciously drifted toward Jazzi who was still typing away, her face so serious, parang walang tao sa paligid niya. But then, as if sensing my stare, she suddenly looked up. Our eyes met, and she instantly furrowed her brows.

"What are you looking at?" she asked flatly.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" The words slipped out before I could even stop them.

I froze.

I don’t even know what kind of spirit possessed me to say that out loud. I should never, ever let my intrusive thoughts win. Ang nakakainis pa, I said it in front of everyone. Literal na pumatak agad ‘yung hiya sa buong system ko.

"Nice try, but no." Jazzi said it with zero hesitation, shaking her head before turning her attention back to her computer. Like nothing happened.

Meanwhile, ako, I just pouted and crossed my arms like a sulky child.

"Balang araw, makukuha mo rin ang masungit naming president," Gene teased, plopping down beside me and slinging an arm casually around my shoulders. "Don’t you want to know how I got my girl?"

"Ayoko. Baka ginayuma mo pa ‘yon." I quickly shrugged her off and stood up, moving away toward Cai who was quietly scrolling on her phone like she was immune to all this noise.

"Wala akong ma-a-advice sa ’yo," Cai muttered without even glancing at me, kahit wala pa naman akong sinasabi. "By the way, Asta. Kailan ‘yung runway project ninyo?"

"Why? Willing ka ba maging model ko?" I teased, raising my brows with mock seriousness.

"Siraulo." She snorted but smiled anyway. "I was just asking kasi manunuod ako. Lian will watch too, right?"

"She’s my model, of course she’ll be there." I grimaced, suddenly reminded of how behind I was. "Hindi pa nga nakakapag-umpisa properly for that eh. Next-next week na ‘yon."

"Bakit? Last month pa in-announce na may ganon, ah?" Cai asked, obviously confused.

Napatingin ako kay Jazzi again. Paano ba naman kasi, after classes I always needed to stay here sa office para tulungan siya with upcoming events and projects. Parang kulang na lang ay official representative na rin ako ng department namin. Minsan nga, pakiramdam ko mukha na rin akong officer with everything I do.

My time? My energy? Ubos na ubos kay Jazzi at kay Zinley.

"Gusto mo ba tulungan kita?" Mau suddenly offered, her tone casual but her eyes surprisingly sincere. "May alam naman ako about fashion and designing. You’re always helping here too, so maybe I should return the favor."

My jaw almost dropped. "Really?" My eyes widened in pure shock, because to be honest, hindi ko in-expect na may magvo-volunteer na tulungan ako with something as stressful as this project.

"Yeah." Mau nodded, smiling at me like it was no big deal. "Give me your number. I’ll message you about my ideas para makapag-brainstorm tayo kapag free ka na."

For a moment, I just blinked at her. She was serious. And when that finally sunk in, I happily snatched her phone, typing my number with more excitement than I cared to admit. "Thanks, Mau!"

"Sure. I’ll call you later." She gave me a small wave before excusing herself, heading straight for the door until she disappeared down the hallway.

I stood there for a second, clutching my own phone like I’d just been handed a lifeline. To be honest, nakahinga talaga ako nang maluwag. I didn’t realize how much pressure I was carrying sa likod ko until Mau actually said she’d help.

"Wow," Gene suddenly said behind me, her voice laced with obvious amusement. "Akala ko ba si Jazzi lang ang hilig mong lapitan, pero ngayon pati si Mau kinukuhanan mo na ng number?"

"Excuse me! It's the other way around!" I turned to glare at her, pero she only raised both hands in mock surrender.

"Chill, joke lang. Kalma."

I rolled my eyes, deciding not to entertain her teasing any further. Instead, I glanced at Jazzi again. She hadn’t looked up once during the entire exchange, still completely absorbed in her computer typing away as if none of us existed.

And maybe that’s what annoyed me the most.

Kasi paano? Paano ba ako makakasingit sa mundo niya kung palaging ganito—ako ang tumatakbo, ako ang nag-aalok ng sarili, ako ang nag-e-effort—while she just sits there, cold and unreachable, her attention locked somewhere I’ll never be able to follow?

Napabuntong-hininga ako, slumping back into the chair beside Cai who, as usual, looked entirely detached from the scene. She was busy on her phone pa rin, scrolling with that blank expression na parang wala siyang pake sa lahat ng nangyayari around her.

"Don’t stress too much," she said suddenly, without even looking up. "Things will fall into place. Just… don’t kill yourself over it."

Her words were short, blunt, but they carried more weight than I expected. For a second, I just stared at her, then slowly nodded, kahit na deep inside I wasn’t sure if I believed her.

Because the truth is… hindi ko rin alam kung saan ako lulugar. Between school, student council, runway projects, Zinley, and—of course—Jazzi, I felt like I was being stretched too thin. And yet, despite all that, I kept choosing to stay.

For her.

Always for her.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Zinley…” I whispered the moment we stepped into Jazzi’s condo, para bang automatic na habit na agad ko siyang hahawakan. I scooped my cat into my arms, cradling him like a fragile secret. “I missed you, baby.” My fingers stroked his fur gently, tracing the small, soft ridges behind his ears.

He purred at me, that low rumble vibrating against my chest, and I couldn’t help but smile at how comfortable he had already become in such a short time. Ilang araw pa lang siya sa akin pero parang sanay na sanay na siya. Sobrang lambing. I wonder, paano kaya kapag lumaki na siya? Magsusungit kaya siya? Or will he stay this clingy forever, like some loyal little shadow?

“Alam mo ba…” I sighed, glancing around the room as if Jazzi might suddenly appear from nowhere. I lowered my voice conspiratorially, like we were sharing a secret. “Your other mom is really annoying. Pasalamat talaga siya na crush na crush ko siya. Otherwise, I swear, I wouldn’t put up with her at all.” My words came out in a half-whisper, half-grumble. “I know naman na punishment ko ang tulungan siya, but I thought she was actually going to be with me!” The frustration bled into my tone at the end, making me sound like a kid complaining about unfair chores.

“Inuutusan niya ako pumunta sa ganito, sa ganyan. Bumili rito, bumili roon. Hindi kaya masaya,” I added, pouting as I smoothed my palm over Zinley’s tiny head again. His fur tickled my fingertips. “But I couldn’t say no because… because she would talk to me after. She’d tell me I did a great job. She’d ask me to eat and join her. Ewan ko ba. Your mom has this way of pulling me back without even trying.”

While I was still busy confiding in Zinley like some lovesick teenager, my phone suddenly vibrated against my thigh. The sound snapped me out of my monologue. I frowned when I saw an unregistered number blinking on the screen.

Was this Mau? Ang aga naman niya kung siya nga ‘to.

“Hello?” I answered, cautious but curious.

“Asta, this is Mau.” Her voice carried a burst of energy that immediately lit up my mood. “I asked my mom if we could use her workshop for your project. Pumayag siya.”

My lips parted into a grin even before she finished. Mau’s voice practically sparkled through the speaker. “We can start tomorrow after class or kung kailan mo gusto. You can always sleep here since may extra rin kaming room.”

“It’s fine. After class na lang,” I chuckled, glancing down at Zinley who was now trying to nibble on my sleeve. “Hindi ko pwedeng iwan si Lian mag-isa sa room namin. Thanks, Mau. I owe you one.”

“Anytime. Make sure to take Cai with you, okay?” Mau’s own little chuckle drifted through the line before she ended the call.

I stared at the screen for a second after it went dark. Eh? What was that for? Bakit kailangan pa niyang i-mention si Cai?

Before I could think further, a voice cut into my thoughts.

“Sino ’yon?”

I looked up, and there she was—Jazzi—emerging from the bathroom, her wet hair clinging to her shoulders, towel in hand. She was rubbing it lazily over her head, droplets of water trailing down her neck.

Grabe. Ano bang ginawa ko sa nakaraan para masilayan ang ganitong view nang ganito kalapit?

“Mau.” I cleared my throat and shifted Zinley in my arms. “She offered her mom’s workshop para makapag-start na ako sa project ko.”

As if on cue, Zinley wriggled free from my hold and leapt straight toward Jazzi. Even though she was still fresh from the shower, Jazzi bent down without hesitation and scooped the kitten up.

“Did your mom tell you something, hm?” Jazzi asked the cat softly, the hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

My cheeks burned at the sight. Ang bare minimum enjoyer ko naman—feeling ko talaga may anak kaming dalawa every time I saw her holding him like that.

“Thank God, he doesn’t know how to talk,” I muttered under my breath, slinging my bag over my shoulder. “Pinakain ko na siya. Mauuna na ako. And tomorrow, hindi na ako pupunta. After ko mag-duty sa SC, dederetso na ako kina Mau.”

I threw my announcement over my shoulder like it was nothing and began walking toward the door. Wala naman siyang paki usually. Ilang araw na akong nagpapaalam nang ganito sa kanya. Pero kada alis ko, wala talaga siyang sinasabi.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jazzi’s voice stopped me in my tracks, firm enough to slice through the silence of her condo.

I turned halfway, one hand on the doorknob. “Ang alin?”

“Your project.” She adjusted her hold on Zinley, hugging him closer to her chest like he was some fragile treasure. “Sana hindi na kita inutusan.”

Her words landed heavier than I expected.

“That’s my punishment, remember?” I reminded her with a small shrug, though my throat felt tight.

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly, her gaze dropping to the kitten in her arms. For once, her voice softened, careful. “But I can postpone it if alam kong busy ka. You should prioritize your acads, Asta.”

There it was again. The lecture. The same line she’d been repeating for days now. I rolled my eyes internally. Magsasalita na naman siya if tungkol sa acads. Nakakasawa. Parang sirang plaka.

“Asta.”

Her voice pulled me back again, firmer this time, and I couldn’t help the exaggerated eye roll that slipped out. “What?”

“Do you need anything?”

I blinked at her, taken aback by the question. Of all things she could ask, iyon pa talaga? My lips curved into a smirk before I could stop myself. “Your number.”

Straightforward. Walang paligoy-ligoy.

Bakit hindi? I already had Mau’s number, Gene’s, even Cai’s. Pero si Jazzi, na halos araw-araw kong kasama, wala? Nakakatawa.

She looked at me then, really looked at me, like she was trying to read between the lines of what I just said. And of course, as expected, hesitation flickered in her eyes. Jazzi being Jazzi—palaging may wall, palaging may distance.

“Seriously?” she asked, as if the request was absurd.

“Seriously,” I shot back.

For a moment, I thought she was going to ignore me again. Malabo talaga. Kung ayaw niya, fine. I’ll just ask Mau tomorrow. Napakaarte ng taong ‘to, parang iniisip niya i-spam ko siya with memes or clingy messages.

I was already turning away when I felt her presence close in. Before I knew it, Jazzi was right there in front of me, swift and unapologetic. She snatched my phone straight out of my hand, her fingers moving with practiced ease as she tapped on the screen.

When she handed it back, her expression was unreadable. “Don’t text or call me,” she muttered, her tone flat but not entirely harsh. “Unless it’s an emergency.”

My brows furrowed, but the corner of my lips twitched upward anyway. Because there it was—her number. No name attached, just digits, but it was hers.

And without hesitation, I typed in one word under her contact: Wifey.

I swear, I will never change that name even after ten years.

The moment I got back to my dorm, I didn’t even wait to settle down. Tinawagan ko agad siya. Malay ko ba kung totoong number ba ‘yon o kung trip lang niya. For all I knew, she could’ve typed in random digits para lang tantanan ko siya. Para sure na rin, I had to check.

The line connected, and then her voice, low and unmistakable, filled my ear. “I told you not to call me.” She sounded bored—probably lounging on her couch, watching some documentary or series I would never understand.

“I just wanna make sure this is you.” I bit down on the tip of my index finger, trying not to laugh at myself for sounding so defensive.

Before I could say anything more, my phone buzzed again. This time, it was an incoming FaceTime request. My eyes widened.

“What the—” I scrambled toward the mirror, panic setting in. Was she insane? Kakatapos ko lang maghilamos! Bare-faced, eyebags on full display—baka hindi siya magandahan.

In record time, I grabbed a compact powder and dabbed it onto my face, following it up with a quick swipe of lip tint. There. Kahit papaano, presentable. Hindi naman kailangan full glam; just enough para hindi mukhang sabog.

The screen lit up with her face.

“Matutulog na lang, naka-lip tint pa?” she asked, eyebrows raised, towel now draped casually around her neck. She rolled her eyes at me, but there was a hint of amusement tugging at her lips.

“Eh ikaw nga matutulog na lang, nakikipag-FaceTime pa,” I countered quickly, hiding my fluster behind a grin.

“You said you want to make sure this is me,” she deadpanned, adjusting the camera until her face filled the screen. “So ayan. Masaya ka na? Pwede ko na bang patayin?”

“Sino?” I blurted, almost without thinking.

Her brows furrowed. “Anong sino?”

That sent me into a fit of laughter. I laughed so hard I had to cover my mouth, but Jazzi only stared, unimpressed. Eventually, I nodded, calming myself down.

“Wala talagang chance makipag-sleep on call sa ’yo?” I asked hopefully, still giggling.

“Wala.” Her reply was flat, sharp, and final.

And with that, the screen went black. She ended the call.

But me? I was grinning from ear to ear, clutching my phone like it was the most precious thing in the world. I hugged my pillow tightly, burying my face into it to muffle the squeal threatening to escape.

I had her number. Finally.

This was it. The start of our forever.

Jazzi, just wait. One day, magiging girlfriend din kita.

Chapter Text

"Let me see your designs." Mau leaned forward, palm open as if hindi siya makakapaghintay. Huminga ako nang malalim bago inabot ang sketchpad, the weight of my own hesitation suddenly heavier than the paper itself.

We were at their house that afternoon—me, Lian, and Cai. The plan was simple: susukatan si Lian for the pieces Mau and I was working on. Pero dahil nag-request si Mau na isama ko si Cai, I ended up convincing her, kahit alam kong hindi gano’n kadali. Hindi siya agad pumayag. I had to mention that Lian would be there, and only then did her usual stubbornness melt into a hesitant "Sige."

Until now, hindi ko pa rin gets kung bakit gusto ni Mau na nandoon si Cai. Was she planning something? May ipapagawa ba siya kay Cai? O baka trip niya lang talaga—random like that.

"Do you want to ask my mother’s opinion about this?" Mau’s voice broke through my spiraling thoughts.

I nodded quickly, almost grateful for the distraction. We excused ourselves from the two who were sitting comfortably on the couch, talking in that casual, light way na parang wala silang ibang iniintindi. Mau led me to her mom’s study. Even though her mom was clearly busy, she still gave us time, flipping through my sketches with the kind of critical but kind eyes that only someone seasoned could have. She spoke in a calm, measured tone, pointing out details, sharing small suggestions. It felt grounding, reassuring, like her approval meant more than I wanted to admit.

By the time we got back, the air in the living room had shifted. Lian and Cai were huddled together, laughing at something on the iPad, shoulders nearly brushing. There was something soft, almost intimate, about the way they leaned toward each other.

Mau froze. She just stood there, eyes on them, her lips pressed into a thin line. Then, without a word, she turned and walked straight into the workshop. Instinctively, sinundan ko siya.

"Uy, okay ka lang?" I asked carefully, stepping inside.

"Yeah. May iniisip lang." She gave me a short smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes. "Start na tayo?"

I nodded, pero habang busy kami sa ginagawa, hindi siya mapakali. Her movements were restless, her gaze drifting from her hands to the door, as if she was half here and half somewhere else.

Ano bang nasa isip niya? Was she curious about whatever Cai and Lian were laughing about? Or did she wish she was there too, sitting on that couch instead of here, pretending na okay lang?

Out of nowhere, Mau chuckled softly, breaking the silence. "Effective talaga manifestation method mo, ‘no?"

My brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I talked to Cai yesterday," she said, her voice light but careful. "And I felt like I was talking to you. You know? She’s… a bit assuming na mapapansin siya ni Lian. And now, look. She did."

I let out a short laugh, glancing at her. "Bakit? Crush mo rin si Lian?"

"No." Mau laughed, shaking her head, but then she lowered her voice, almost like she was confessing a secret she never planned to say out loud. "I like Cai."

The words landed like ice water down my spine. Natigilan ako. I didn’t even know how to react.

She likes Cai? But Cai… Cai likes Lian.

And Lian—well, I didn’t even know what Lian wanted.

"But don’t tell her, okay? It’s fine. I can just… get over this." Mau’s lips pressed together as she fiddled with a piece of fabric, her hands trembling just slightly. "Hindi naman ako mamamatay kung hindi niya malalaman."

My throat tightened. "Kailan pa?" I asked softly.

"I don’t know," she admitted, her tone quiet but honest. "Cai and I have been friends ever since. She’s that type of person na kalmado lang sa lahat ng bagay. And when I’m with her… it feels peaceful. Payapa. Like I can breathe."

I nodded slowly, the truth of her words echoing in me. Maybe that was real love—yung hindi lang butterflies or fireworks, but comfort. The kind of love na parang tahanan.

"Alam ninyo, bagay kayo."

We both jolted when Lian suddenly appeared at the door. Behind her was Cai, laughing as their eyes flickered toward us.

"You know Asta likes Jazzi so much," Cai teased.

"Yeah. But Jazzi doesn’t like her," Lian added without hesitation.

"Ipagdiinan mo pa," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"What if kayo na lang?" Lian teased further, her grin mischievous. Mau laughed, shaking her head as if the idea was absurd.

"Bakit?" Lian pushed.

"I like someone else. Asta likes Jazzi. Hindi kami talo." Mau turned back to her work, shutting down the conversation. "By the way, Lian. Lapit ka. Sukatan kita."

So I watched. Just watched. And that’s when I realized why Lian said what she said—that Mau and I looked like we fit. Because Mau had this way of looking at people. Kahit kanino. Like they were fragile glass she wanted to hold carefully, protect, never break.

"Do you think Mau likes Lian?" Cai’s whisper brushed against my ear.

I swallowed back the words I wanted to say—that she noticed how Mau looked at others but never at her. That the one person she didn’t see was the one who mattered.

"She doesn’t like her. Huwag kang overthinker," I answered instead, my voice casual.

Cai laughed, nodding, as if my reassurance was enough.

After the measuring session with Lian, Mau and I dove back into work. Hours slipped by until the clock hit seven. We were packing up, ready to call it a day, when the sudden sound of the door opening broke the quiet.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Mau asked, surprise in her tone.

Before I could even look, a cat darted inside the living room, paws quick and sure as it ran toward me. My heart stopped.

"Zinley," I breathed, scooping him into my arms.

And then—

"He misses his mom."

The voice made my chest tighten. It was Jazzi.

In that instant, all the exhaustion, the weight of the day, melted away. She had come here. She had come all this way, just to bring Zinley to me. And to me, that meant something. More than I could explain.

"Hey, where did you find Sasuke?" Mau asked, eyes narrowing at the cat. "Pusa ‘yan ng kapitbahay namin."

I turned to her, my grip on Zinley tightening.

Wait. Someone owned Zinley?

Cai had offered to take Lian home, at ako naman ay nagpaiwan na lang muna, torn between following them or staying behind. We were still in the middle of debating whether to take Zinley back to his owner or keep him with us.

Honestly, hindi naman dapat ito pinagdedebatehan. The answer should be obvious: someone owned Zinley, therefore he should be returned. Pero ayoko. Ayoko.

I just couldn’t.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero ang bigat-bigat sa dibdib ko. The thought that after tomorrow, I wouldn’t see him anymore—it wasn’t just about Jazzi now, it wasn’t about us anymore. It had become about the cat. About Zinley himself.

"We’ll take him back." Jazzi’s voice was calm but firm, and when I looked at her, she was already nodding like the decision was final.

"Bakit? His owner left him, nakita natin siya. Sa atin na siya." My voice cracked a little as I reasoned out.

Alam kong mali ako. I knew I was bending logic, but at the same time, may point din ako. Hindi ko lang alam kung pointless na iyon.

"Kung pinabayaan siya ng owner, bakit siya hahanapin?" Jazzi asked, her eyes steady on me. "Look, Asta. The cat lost his way. Until now, I don’t even know how he managed to climb that tree, but the fact remains—hindi siya atin. We just found him. It’s still not right to keep him. He has an owner."

I went quiet. Even Mau, who had been fidgeting beside us, didn’t know what to say. Ayoko talaga. Everything in me wanted to cling to Zinley, but I could feel that strong sense of justice radiating off Jazzi. She wanted him returned. And what could I do?

Once I forced to keep him, I wouldn’t even be able to take care of him—bawal ang pets sa dorm. Once I left him with Jazzi, she’d just return him anyway.

"Uuwi na ako." I grabbed my bag abruptly, my chest tightening.

"I need you to agree, Asta." Jazzi’s voice turned stern, steady. "Let’s return him together."

I huffed, looking anywhere but at her. Ang sama na nga ng loob ko, gusto pa niya akong isama kapag binalik?

"You can do it alone. Wala naman akong choice, Jaze Zianra." The name slipped out with a bite. After that, umalis na ako without looking back.

I wanted to cry. OA na ba? Probably. But seriously, I wanted to keep Zinley. Not because of Jazzi or anything else. It felt like I was being forced to give up my ampon—to hand him back to his real parent.

"Bakit nakasimangot ka?" Lian asked when I reached the dorm, her brows knitting.

Umupo ako sa kama ko, tulala, my bag still slung over my shoulder. Hanggang ngayon iniisip ko pa rin si Zinley, replaying the moment in my head over and over.

"Binalik na nila?" Lian asked, sitting beside me, her tone softer this time.

"Yeah." I nodded, forcing a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. "Maliligo na ako."

Lian only nodded and let me be. I started my usual routine, hoping it would distract me. I listed down all the materials I needed for tomorrow, and since I couldn’t sleep anyway, I decided to finish everything I could—cutting patterns, arranging fabric, making sure na bukas, pagtatahi na lang ang gagawin ko. Anything to keep my hands busy, anything para hindi ako mawasak sa kakaisip.

"Hindi ka pa rin ba matutulog?" Lian asked again, her voice tentative.

"Hindi ako makatulog."

Lian sighed, folding her arms. "You know you need to return him, right? Because he’s not yours to begin with." Her voice was soft but steady, like she was trying to both comfort me and make me realize the truth.

"Wala naman akong choice, Lian. Kahit sabihin kong gusto ko siyang i-keep, bawal." I sighed and stared at my phone, the screen glowing back at me.

It was only then that I noticed Jazzi had a message. It had been thirty-six minutes and I still hadn’t read it. Would it just be an update? A casual ‘naibalik ko na’?

"Cai messaged me. Nasa labas daw si Jazzi," Lian said quietly. "Puntahan mo na."

So, I finally grabbed my phone and opened Jazzi’s message. It was simple—she said she was outside. Thirty-six minutes na at hindi pa rin siya umaalis?

Paglabas ko, the air hit me first. Hindi naman malamig pero balot na balot siya, nakajacket pa talaga. She was leaning against her car, her posture straightening the moment she saw me approach.

"What?" I asked flatly, folding my arms. "Did the owner thank you?"

Jazzi was expressionless, her face unreadable. Ano pa bang aasahan ko rito?

"I’m sorry about that," she said quietly. "But even I don’t have a choice." She sighed, and for the first time, I noticed the exhaustion in her eyes.

"Umuwi ka na. Kahit naman magstay ka hanggang hatinggabi rito hindi mo mababalik si Zinley," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Let me ignore you for a night, Jaz. It’s hard for me."

"I know." Jazzi nodded, her lips pressing together. Then, after a moment, her tone softened. "But maybe you can say hi to our new baby?"

Agad akong napakunot ng noo. "New baby?"

Jazzi opened her jacket slightly, and there, nestled against her, was a small, warm bundle of fur—a cat that looked exactly like Zinley but tinier, softer. My heart stuttered.

"The owner says Zinley is her favorite, kaya hindi niya kayang ibigay," Jazzi explained, a faint smile tugging at her lips. "So she offered this cute little fella. Pinsan ni Zinley."

She looked up at me, her eyes searching mine. "Again, Asta. Do you still want to co-parent with me?"

Chapter Text

"So, ano na kayo?" Lian smirked habang naglalakad kami sa hallway. She had that teasing tone na parang sinasadya niyang palalain ang kilig na pilit kong itinatago.

I rolled my eyes, pero hindi ko maitago ang ngiti sa labi ko. Worth it naman pala lahat ng kadramahan kagabi. Who would’ve thought Jazzi would actually ask me again? Kaya kahit late na ako pumasok ngayon, ang gaan-gaan ng pakiramdam ko. Ang ganda ng gising ko. Ang ganda rin ng panaginip ko, to be honest.

In that dream, ikinasal daw kami ni Jazzi. Can you imagine? I almost didn’t want to wake up. Kasi kung choice lang talaga, mas gugustuhin kong manatili sa panaginip na ‘yon kaysa sa reality na puno ng complications at uncertainty.

"Ms. Abueva."

Parang biglang lumamig ang paligid ko. My professor appeared right in front of me, sharp eyes landing directly on me.

"Oh no," Lian whispered, trying not to laugh. "Good luck," she mouthed before bolting away, clearly not wanting to get dragged into whatever was about to happen.

"Ah… po?" I blinked, forcing a polite smile kahit ramdam ko na agad ang kaba na bumibigat sa dibdib ko.

"See me in my office. Now."

The walk to her office felt longer than usual. Every step echoed inside my head, kasabay ng sarili kong tanong—what did I even do? Hindi naman ako nag-cheat. Hindi rin ako gumagamit ng AI for my works. Sure, may mga prof na hindi ako gusto, but never pa nila akong pinatawag nang ganito, na parang may kasalanan akong malaki.

Pagpasok ko sa office, the atmosphere shifted instantly. I was just about to greet my professor when the door creaked open again.

A calm, familiar voice sliced through the quiet.
"What are you doing here?"

My chest tightened. Kilala ko ang boses na ‘yon kahit saan—Jazzi.

Pero mabilis kong narealize na hindi ako ang tinutukoy niya. Her sharp eyes were directed at the elegant woman standing beside my professor.

"Hi, Jazzi Baby."

My jaw nearly hit the floor. Baby?

Jazzi’s expression hardened. "Mom," she said flatly, almost like a warning. "I told you to stop calling me that. I’m not a baby anymore."

Her mom only chuckled softly, utterly unfazed, and leaned in to press a kiss on her daughter’s cheek. "You’ll always be my baby," she teased, ignoring Jazzi’s thinly veiled annoyance.

I froze, realization dawning on me. Her mom?! So this was the woman I deliberately avoided stalking, the figure that was more rumor than memory in my head. And now she was standing in front of me—radiant, sophisticated, and so breathtakingly graceful that for a second, I almost forgot to breathe.

My professor, trying to cut the tension, turned to me with a proud smile.

"This is Ms. Abueva," he said, almost like an announcement. "Top student in the department. What do you think?"

I stiffened, heat crawling up my neck. What do you think? Anong klaseng tanong ‘yon? Parang ipinapakilala ako sa isang panelist ng beauty pageant.

The woman’s lips curled into a knowing smile as her gaze swept over me. "I think she’s beautiful. And clearly brilliant. Don’t you agree?"

"I know her," Jazzi muttered under her breath, voice almost reluctant but too honest to be missed. Her eyes darted away immediately, as if regretting she even said it out loud.

Her mom caught it, though. Oh, she definitely caught it. Her brows lifted slightly, eyes glittering with amusement as she looked between the two of us.

"You… know her?" she asked, a teasing edge coating her tone.

Jazzi’s jaw tightened. "Yeah," she admitted tersely. "She’s the one I’ve been telling you about."

Wait. Telling her… about me? My heart lurched, half thrilled, half mortified.

Her mom’s smile widened, playful and sharp all at once. "Ah," she hummed, as if connecting invisible dots. "So this is the girl you said acts like your girlfriend?"

The world froze. My ears rang. My soul left my body. If there was ever a time for the ground to crack open and swallow me whole, it was definitely now.

JAZE. ZIANRA. WHY?! Totoo naman, oo, pero bakit kailangan mong sabihin sa nanay mo?!

I bit my lower lip hard, bowing my head para maitago ang sobrang pamumula ng mukha ko. Sana lumubog na lang ako sa sahig. Please, soil, open up and swallow me whole.

Her mom chuckled, amused at my obvious embarrassment, then stepped closer.

"Almost every professor I consulted recommended you," she explained kindly. "And I heard your current scholarship is about to end. I’d like to continue it. Full allowance, and if you’d prefer a new dorm, I can offer you a unit in Rivera Condominium."

Her words felt surreal, like someone had just dropped a golden ticket on my lap.

"But…" I swallowed, my voice trembling. "Would you hate me if I accept your offer not just as a scholar… but as someone who’s in love with your daughter?"

Beside me, Jazzi groaned, dragging her palm down her face. Clearly, she wanted the ground to swallow her too—pero dahil sa akin.

Her mom only laughed softly, eyes twinkling. "Your feelings are yours. I can help with your studies, but I can’t decide if you’ll be my daughter’s girlfriend. That’s something only the two of you can figure out."

Then she winked at me—winked!—and brushed her fingers against my chin gently before heading toward the door. "If you change your mind, ask your professor for the requirements. My secretary will arrange everything."

She kissed Jazzi’s head one last time before leaving gracefully, my professor following behind.

Which left me standing awkwardly with Jazzi.

"Do you even realize what you just did?" Jazzi asked flatly, eyes unreadable, tone sharper than a blade. "What if my mom wasn’t… kind?"

"Are you worried she might hate me?" I tried to lighten the air, raising a brow. "Come on. I didn’t know what kind of person she is, so I just took my chances. At least she’s not against us."

"Ako, tutol sa ating dalawa."

Her words cut. Sharp. Merciless.

But I refused to flinch. "You say that," I muttered, arms crossing, "pero ako pa rin ang ginawa mong co-parent ng pusa mo."

"That’s because you like animals kaya ka nga pumayag," she shot back instantly, walking toward the door without sparing me another glance.

"Yeah. But that wasn’t the reason," I followed, my steps deliberately slow, calculated, until I was close enough to lean my chin gently on her shoulder. "It's because I like you. Kaya pumayag ako."

I felt her body stiffen. I heard her breath catch.

"I’m not rushing anything, Jaz," I whispered, softer now, almost like a plea. "Just let me try. Let me have the chance to make you fall for me."

For a fleeting moment, she stood frozen, silent. Then her voice returned, colder than ever.

"That will never happen, Asta. You’re wasting your time."

She twisted the knob and stepped out, her words like a wall between us.

But as I watched her retreating figure, I couldn’t help but notice—her shoulders tensed, her steps heavier than usual. Her body language was betraying her every word.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Pagkatapos ng class, I was surprised to see Mau leaning casually against the wall right outside my classroom. Para bang matagal na siyang nando’n, waiting for me, her phone dangling from her hand while she stared blankly at the hallway crowd.

"What are you doing here?" I chuckled as I walked up to her, shifting the heavy bag on my shoulder.

She straightened and offered a small smile. "Helping you with your bag. Ang dami mong dala, oh—" kinuha niya agad ‘yung bag ko before I could protest. “These are for later, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, for the materials we’re gonna use mamaya.”

“Good,” Mau said simply, then her eyes flicked to the far end of the hall. “Cai’s not in the office. Probably, she’s with your best friend. Ayoko naman mag-stay ro’n na ako lang. Ang awkward.”

I raised a brow. “Why?”

Mau sighed, like she was about to spill a piece of juicy gossip. “May away si Jazzi at Gene e.”

My step faltered a little. “May away?”

“Yep.” Mau shifted the bag higher on her shoulder while walking beside me. “The outreach got postponed. And now, ang binigay na date is the same date as your project runway. Jazzi asked Gene to postpone it again ng one day, pero hindi puwede kasi hindi naman sila ang masusunod. She wanted Gene to find a way, but… you know Gene.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “Baka kasi gusto niyang manuod sa akin.” My eyes lit up teasingly, and Mau burst out laughing.

“Baliw. Most of the volunteers for the outreach are from your department. For sure, mas uunahin nila ‘yung project kaysa sa outreach. Edi wala kaming kasama sa mismong program?” She shook her head while still laughing. “Ang lala mo talaga, ‘no?”

I grinned, not even pretending to deny it. “Legal kaya kami. Nakausap ko na mom niya kanina. Hindi naman siya humadlang sa amin.”

“Oh?” Mau’s brows shot up, voice suddenly brighter. “Tita Mazy? She’s kind. She’s actually like you.” Then she leaned closer like she was about to drop a bomb.

“She likes me?” I asked, half-joking, half-serious.

“Bungol!” Mau flicked my forehead, rolling her eyes. “She’s quite famous here when she was in college. Kapag pumupunta raw siya sa SC office noon, nagkukumpulan mga students sa labas just to see her. And Jazzi’s other mom hated it kasi she was the president. She hates attention.”

“Anong nangyari sa kanila?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“They still ended up with each other.” Mau’s voice softened a bit as she explained. “Tita Azi has this charisma. And Jazzi’s other mom couldn’t resist it.” She lowered her tone, like she was sharing a secret. “Jazzi even told me how down bad they were for each other now, and it’s making her cringe.”

Before I could react to that, the door to the SC office suddenly opened.

It was Jazzi.

Nahiya ako bigla—ang lapit pa naman ng mukha namin ni Mau. Agad akong napaatras, my heart doing that annoying skip it always did when she appeared.

“Papasok ka na?” Mau asked lightly and slipped into the office first, leaving me outside.

I thought Jazzi would let me enter too, but she didn’t move. She just stood there, blocking the doorway, her eyes fixed on me with that look—parang ang laki ng kasalanan ko.

Hey, I didn’t cheat. Mau just whispered, I wanted to say. Napakaselosa naman ng isang ‘to.

“Mom invited you for dinner,” Jazzi said at last, her tone clipped. “Tell her no.”

She brushed past me, and my gaze followed her automatically. Ano na naman problema niya? Gusto niya rin ba akong bulungan? Kahit buong gabi pa kaming magbulungan, game naman ako.

“Seems like bad mood siya,” Mau chuckled from inside, gesturing for me to finally sit. She was still amused by what just happened. “Inaway mo kasi,” she teased, rolling her eyes at Gene.

Gene, on the other hand, looked tired. She let out a long sigh, leaning back in her chair. “Asta, kausapin mo nga ‘yon. Wala naman talaga akong magagawa kung hindi pwede ‘yung date na gusto niya. Maraming kailangan i-consider.”

“Why don’t you ask the dean instead?” I offered, sitting across them. “Magbigay ng extension for the runway? Or make it earlier para hindi mag-overlap?”

“Not possible.” Gene shook her head, her tone firm but resigned. “I already tried that a while ago. Alam mo naman ako, bago ko pa sabihin kay Jazzi ang problema, hinahanapan ko na agad ng solution. But this time, wala talaga.”

“Ako na bahala. Saan ba siya pupunta?” I asked, determination slipping into my tone.

Gene shrugged helplessly.

“Garden,” Mau supplied, pointing casually. “She used to go there when she wanted to be alone. Ikaw na bahala, Asta.”

So I left.

And Mau was right.

I found Jazzi sitting quietly in the garden, her posture straight but her eyes heavy as they stared at the fountain. There was a stillness about her, parang she was carrying the weight of everything alone. Ang lalim ng iniisip niya, to the point na hindi niya man lang naramdaman na may taong lumapit sa likod niya.

I couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Kahit na sobrang seryoso ng aura niya, I wanted to break through it, kahit papaano.

So I covered her eyes gently with my hands. “Guess who?” I chuckled softly.

But Jazzi didn’t even flinch. No startled reaction, no laughter, nothing. Para bang sanay na siya sa presensya ko.

“Aren’t you going to guess who I am?” I teased, trying to lighten her mood.

Her voice came out flat, calm, almost resigned. “No one has the courage to do this to me except you, Asta.”

Natameme ako. Slowly, I removed my hands and stood beside her. She was still staring at the fountain, but I knew she had felt every second of it.

“What are you doing here?” she asked at last, her tone steady but sharp. Then she turned, her eyes meeting mine. “Kinuha mo na ba number ni mommy sa prof mo para sabihing hindi ka makakasama sa dinner mamaya?”

I raised a brow at her question. “Why would I do that? Kapag ba hindi ako sumama, gagaan pakiramdam mo?” I tilted my head, trying to catch her gaze.

“I’m fine, Asta. Just do what I say.” She rolled her eyes and sat down on the nearest bench, almost defensively.

I followed and sat beside her. “You know, you can’t get everything you want, Jazzi. Life doesn’t work that way. You have many things to consider. Hindi lahat ng bagay aayon sa ‘yo.”

“Bakit ikaw?” Jazzi asked suddenly, turning her head to me. “Nakuha mo ako?”

Natigilan ako. My lips parted, words caught in my throat. Did I really…?

Jazzi’s lips curved into the faintest, briefest chuckle. “Pangit mong kiligin.”

“TOTOO BA ‘YON?” I grabbed her shoulders lightly, my eyes wide. She looked away, but I could see her cheeks twitching, as if she was suppressing more.

“Bawal na ba ako mag-joke?” she said, prying my hands off. “Wala ka na bang pasok? Nanggugulo ka na naman dito.”

I crossed my legs, leaning forward on my knee and resting my chin on my palm, smiling shamelessly. “Worth it naman panggugulo ko. Kinilig ako ng ilang minuto. Until now pala.”

She turned to me, her eyes expressionless but her chest rising a little heavier.

“I’m trying my best not to give you false hope, Asta,” she whispered, leaning closer until I could feel the warmth of her breath. “I’m telling you, hindi kita kayang saluhin.”

I didn’t move back. Instead, I leaned in closer too. “I’m not asking you to catch me, Jazzi. How could you, when my only goal is to make you fall for me?” I raised my brows, my voice low, steady, but carrying everything I meant.

Her lips tugged faintly, almost like a smirk. “Do you really want to do this? Act as if you really like me? As if you’re willing to give everything for me? Stop now, Asta. I don’t want to be the reason for your pain.”

“I like you, Jazzi,” I said firmly, my eyes locked on hers. Sobrang lapit na ng mukha namin, I could hear her breathing, uneven and shallow. “And I’m not playing games with you. Just let me like you. Alam ko naman kung kailan ako titigil. Alam ko kung kailan ako lalayo sa ‘yo.”

Jazzi froze, her eyes softening for just a moment before she averted her gaze and sat back properly, putting distance between us.

After a beat of silence, she spoke again, her tone low.

“What's your plan for later?” she asked.

“Probably spend time with Mau. Ayaw mo naman ako pasamahin sa ‘yo.” I shrugged.

Jazzi heaved a deep sigh and stood up. “I’ll pick you up at 8 p.m. Don’t overdress. Mom likes genuine people.”

And with that, she left and I forgot the reason why I was there in the first place.

Chapter Text

Lian was sitting cross-legged on my bed habang busy sinusuklayan ang buhok ko, strands gliding through her fingers like a practiced stylist. Her face was a mix of concentration and playful annoyance, eyes rolling every now and then while she tugged lightly at my hair.

“Ante dinner iyon, hindi mo kailangan mag-full glam,” she reminded, almost scolding. Her voice was half-exasperated, half-sisterly. “And besides, what did Jazzi say? Don’t overdress. She knows what her moms want, and isa lang ibig sabihin non: ayaw niyang ayawan ka ng parents niya.”

I turned to Lian, teasing eyes locking onto hers in the mirror.

“Ikaw ha,” I said, pointing at her with my index finger as if accusing her of a crime. “You’re making me more delulu!” My chuckle turned into a laugh and, in seconds, we were both laughing na parang baliw — the kind of laugh that fills the room and drowns out all the nerves sitting heavy in your stomach.

The sound of my phone vibrating cut through our giggles. I picked it up, and my smile widened when I saw the name on the screen. Jazzi messaged. As usual, she knew exactly what to say at the right time, like she could read my mind even from a distance.

She wrote only three words, but it was enough: I’m here. Outside.

Napangiti ako. Even after all the push and pull between us, the weird jokes, the boundaries we kept dancing around — she still came. Exactly 8PM, like she promised.

“Bye, I love you!” I said quickly, kissing Lian on the cheek before grabbing my bag and running out of the room.

Outside, my heart started doing that weird flutter again. She was leaning casually against her car, phone in one hand, dressed in the simplest outfit imaginable — plain jeans, a loose shirt. Yeah, sure. Parents niya naman ‘yon. It was supposed to be a simple dinner, but somehow it felt heavier than that.

I slowed down as I approached, suddenly self-conscious about my cardigan and the spaghetti strap inside. Before I could even greet her, Jazzi gave me that familiar sigh — the one that meant she was both annoyed and quietly amused.

“I told you not to overdress,” she muttered, reaching out without warning. She tugged lightly at my cardigan, slipping it off my shoulder before I could react.

Nagulat ako. “Hoy—!”

Her eyes widened when she realized I was only wearing a thin strap underneath. For the first time in forever, I saw her face redden. She quickly helped me pull the cardigan back on, her movements abrupt and awkward, like someone caught off-guard.

“Get in the back seat,” she said, pointing at the door, her voice firm but her ears still pink.

Gago ‘yun ha? Hindi man lang nagsorry. Pero sige, wala na akong magagawa. I slipped into the back seat like an obedient passenger, trying not to grin at her sudden shyness.

The ride to her house felt like a strange kind of silence — not uncomfortable, but loaded. She kept her eyes on the road, and I kept sneaking glances at her profile, wondering if she could hear how loud my heart was beating.

When we finally arrived, the car slowed to a stop in front of a modern-looking house with soft lights spilling out from the windows. Her mothers were already waiting outside, standing together by the front door. The moment they saw me stepping out from the back seat, they exchanged a knowing look and chuckled.

For sure, gets na ng parents niya ito.

“Welcome!” The one Mau once called Azi — opened her arms warmly. Her smile was so radiant it cut through my nerves like sunlight. Instinctively, I hugged her back.

Jazzi, on the other hand, grimaced, her expression unreadable, and walked straight into the house without waiting for me. Parang wala siyang kasama. Anong problema non? Lakas na ng tama ha. Akala mo hindi umamba sa akin kanina.

“Come in. Nagluto ako,” her other mom said with a softer tone, ushering me inside like I was already part of the family.

I followed, careful with my steps. Everything about the house felt welcoming but polished — high ceilings, soft furniture, faint scent of something buttery and garlicky coming from the kitchen. Jazzi was already at the dinner table, seated like she belonged there, but still gesturing for me to sit beside her. I obeyed.

I couldn’t help but notice: since they were clearly freaking rich, I thought there’d be staff around, maybe a helper or someone to set the table. Pero wala. The plates were neatly arranged, the serving bowls still steaming. Sino kaya maghuhugas ng plato mamaya? Si Jazzi kaya?

“So, Asta, right?” Tita Azi asked as she placed a bowl of something delicious-looking on the table.

“Yes po,” I replied, smiling politely.

“What’s your favorite ulam?” she asked, leaning forward slightly, eyes curious but warm.

I blinked, surprised. I had been ready to tell a whole story about being an island girl before, about how my mom just tried her luck here in Manila and that’s how we ended up staying. I hadn’t prepared for something as simple as a favorite dish.

“Garlic buttered shrimp po,” I answered after a second, my smile growing.

Across the table, Jazzi’s other mom coughed suddenly, hiding her face with her hand. Tita Azi burst into a laugh and lightly smacked her wife’s arm. “OA mo, babatukan kita diyan e.”

“May naalala lang,” the other mom said, eyes crinkling.

I relaxed a little, letting their easy banter wrap around me.

“I heard nakapasok ka na sa condo ni Jazzi?” Tita Azi continued, her eyes twinkling like she was in on some secret. “For sure you saw how cute she was when she was a kid. She used to roam around and meet so many people.” She smiled at me, a little wistful. “But I guess puberty hits.” She shrugged dramatically.

I laughed nervously. “Yeah. I saw the picture of her pet chicken one time. Nilalagyan niya pa po ng damit.”

I risked a glance at Jazzi, waiting for her to scowl, but she didn’t even react. She just kept eating, her face neutral. Feeling ko talaga close siya sa parents niya. Minsan naiilang lang siya pero walang malalim na away unlike most rich families na nakikita ko.

“That’s not her pet,” Tita Azi said, eyes dancing mischievously. “That’s her sister. Galit na galit pa nga siya nung niluto ni—”

“Mom.” Jazzi finally sighed, her voice carrying a hint of warning. “Kinain nyo na nga ‘yung manok, hindi ka pa rin nakakamove on.”

“That’s because you cried so much that day na pinagsarhan mo pa kami ng pinto,” Tita Azi countered, laughing again.

“Jazzi, you should take Asta to the rooftop,” her other mom chimed in, her voice gentle but firm. “Hindi ba may ginagawa ka roon? Ipakita mo na sa kanya.”

“That’s not for her,” Jazzi muttered, her tone dropping as she continued eating. “I did that for myself. She doesn’t need to see it.”

I glanced at her parents, unsure what they were hinting at. They exchanged a look, an entire silent conversation passing between them, and then they just let it go. As if they both understood Jazzi’s stubbornness better than anyone else, they didn’t push. Instead, they continued eating, occasionally throwing little comments here and there while I just sat quietly beside Jazzi, trying not to fidget with my fork.

Dinner eventually came to an end, but before I could even excuse myself, her parents insisted na huwag muna akong umalis. “We’ll make dessert,” her mom cheerfully said, parang walang pakialam sa obvious tension sa mesa. “You two go to the garden, para makausap niyo rin isa’t isa.”

Jazzi rolled her eyes and muttered, “Mom…” but didn’t argue further. She just stood up and motioned for me to follow her. Honestly, kinakabahan ako kasi I didn’t know what to expect. Kung tutuusin, dinner palang nakakapagod na. Meeting her parents was one thing, but being alone with Jazzi — in her space, in her family’s house — that was a whole different battlefield.

The moment we stepped outside, the cold air greeted us. Hindi naman sobrang lamig pero sapat na para magbigay ng kaunting comfort. The garden was wide and well-kept, almost like a small private park. May fountain sa gitna na softly illuminated, the kind you’d see in magazines or in movies. The sound of trickling water was oddly soothing, parang lullaby na sinasabayan ng mga kuliglig sa paligid.

Jazzi walked a few steps ahead, her hands shoved in her pockets, shoulders slightly hunched as if she wanted to fold in on herself. I followed, my footsteps crunching lightly against the stone pathway.

“Your mom told me you used to be carefree with people,” I started, trying to break the silence. My voice felt too loud against the serenity of the garden, pero kailangan kong sabihin. Otherwise, baka mabaliw ako sa pagiging tahimik niya.

We sat on the bench near the fountain.

“That was before,” Jazzi muttered, her eyes never leaving the fountain. "People change."

“People change,” I repeated softly, studying her profile as the dim light traced the outline of her jaw. “Pero people don’t just change on their own. Someone… or something makes them change.”

That was when I finally asked, “Who made you like that, Jazzi?”

For a moment, she didn’t answer. She just kept staring at the water, her lips pressed in a thin line, and I could almost hear the gears turning inside her head. Then she finally spoke, low and clipped. “None of your business.”

Napakunot ako ng noo. I stepped closer, not ready to let her retreat into herself again. Before she could stand up and walk away, I reached for her wrist and gently tugged her back down on the bench beside me.

“What?” she snapped, her eyes narrowing at me.

“Stay with me, idiot,” I said, flicking her forehead lightly.

“Agh—masakit, ha.” She rubbed her forehead, glaring at me.

“Alam ko. Sinadya ko,” I answered, sticking out my tongue.

She blinked at me incredulously. “Akala ko ba gusto mo ako?”

“Anong connect?” I asked with mock offense, crossing my arms. “Dito ka lang. Minsan na nga lang kita masolo, iiwan mo pa ako? Hindi ka allowed umalis.”

Jazzi groaned, leaning back against the bench. “You could’ve just told me if you wanted me to stay. Anong silbi ng number ko sa phone mo kung hindi mo ako tatawagan?” She rolled her eyes, stood, and brushed the imaginary dust off her jeans.

I was stunned for a second. Did she really just say that? “Wait—akala ko ba bawal kang tawagan unless emergency?” I shot back, scrambling to my feet. “May sapak ka ba talaga?”

“Ayoko na sa ’yo!” she suddenly yelled, marching away like a petulant kid.

I hurried after her. “Ah, so dati gusto mo ako?” I teased, grinning despite my frustration. “Sige na, umamin ka na.”

“Shut up!” she snapped but quickened her pace, clearly avoiding me.

“WAIT LANG!” I called, jogging to catch up. “Kapag hindi ka tumigil, ikikiss kita!”

That made her freeze. I wasn’t able to stop in time so I ended up bumping right into her back. “Ow—”

Before I could recover, she suddenly turned around, closing the gap between us. Her face was mere inches from mine, her eyes glinting with mischief or challenge—I couldn’t tell.

“Gawin mo nga,” she whispered, voice low and daring.

I froze. My brain short-circuited. I really, really liked her, but this? This was too much. My heart was pounding against my ribcage like it wanted to escape.

“I… if I kiss you,” I stammered, swallowing hard, “akin ka na ba?”

Her lips curved, the faintest trace of a smirk. “If you can.” Her eyes bore into mine, unwavering, like she was calling my bluff.

I lifted my hand, trembling a little, and gently cupped her chin. She didn’t flinch, didn’t move, didn’t even blink. She was dead serious.

My courage was wavering, but my feelings weren’t. Slowly, I leaned in, closing the distance between us—

“Asta! Jazzi!”

We both froze, voices ringing from the back porch.

Her mother’s voice cut through the tension like a knife. “Bumalik na kayo rito! Dessert’s ready!”

I immediately jerked back, my cheeks on fire. I turned to the doorway where her mom was waving us over, then looked back at Jazzi. She hadn’t moved. She was still standing there, her eyes locked on me, like she was waiting for me to finish what I started.

But I couldn’t. I took a shaky step back. “Balik na raw tayo,” I muttered, avoiding her gaze.

She looked at me for another long, unreadable moment before finally turning her back.

“Hindi mo kaya, Asta,” she said flatly, walking ahead without another glance.

And I was left standing there, heart pounding, realizing that maybe she was right—hindi ko pa kaya.

But I will soon. Maghintay ka lang, Jaze Zianra.

Chapter Text

Saturday morning. Instead of continuing my project sa bahay ni Mau, I found myself lying flat on my bed, nakatitig lang sa kisame as if the answers to my confusion were written there.

Last night’s event was still heavy on me, parang nakadikit pa sa balat ko ‘yung guilt and hesitation. I kept asking myself—bakit ang hirap gawin ‘yung gusto ni Jazzi? Why couldn’t I just go along with it when deep inside I actually wanted to? Maybe it was because of Mom’s voice echoing at the back of my head, reminding me over and over: don’t give in hangga’t walang label. Don’t kiss anyone if there’s nothing sure. Don’t use the word love unless it’s earned.

And so here I was, torn between what I wanted and what I thought was right.

“May pogandang naghihintay sa ’yo sa labas,” Lian announced the moment she entered the room, holding a plastic bag that smelled unmistakably of warm pandesal.

“Si Jazzi?” I asked without thinking, hope flickering in my chest.

She chuckled, shaking her head. “Si Mau. Ano naman dahilan ni Jazzi para puntahan ka rito? Ang gulo-gulo ng taong ’yun. Minsan parang gusto ka, pero mas madalas hindi.”

“Shy type pa kasi siya.” I rolled my eyes, forcing myself to get up. My body felt heavy, but I still walked out.

Sure enough, Mau was there. She greeted me with her usual cheerful smile, waving at me as if that would magically lift my mood. Pero wala talaga akong gana, so instead of faking energy, I just approached her.

“Bukas na lang tayo gumawa. Tinatamad pa akong umalis,” I sighed.

“But Jazzi is waiting inside.” Mau pointed to her car.

And that was when I saw her—Jazzi, curled up in the passenger seat, fast asleep. The car wasn’t heavily tinted so I could clearly see her face, soft and peaceful in a way that almost hurt to look at. Angel, I thought. If only she knew how easily she could undo me with just existing.

“Do you know Jazzi ever since?” I asked Mau quietly, eyes still on the girl sleeping inside.

“High school lang. Pero we weren’t close back then. Last year lang kami naging tight,” Mau explained. “Why? Wanna know her background?”

“I was just wondering…” My voice trailed off. “…how you even know her parents’ love story if ngayon lang kayo naging close.”

Mau smirked knowingly. “Told you before, her parents are famous sa school. Kaya nga minsan gusto niya talagang umalis doon, e. I even heard one time she wanted to transfer out, pero hindi pinayagan. Not sure if it was because she felt like she was always living in their shadow or something else.” She shrugged.

Before I could respond, a drowsy voice interrupted us. “Are you guys gonna gossip about me or we’ll leave?” Jazzi muttered, eyes half-open, like she had been drinking the night before kahit hindi naman.

Mau clapped her hands together. “By the way, kaya inagahan ko pumunta kasi may party raw mamaya si Gene sa bahay nila. Don’t know the occasion, but you should be there. You’ll need a partner.” Then she smiled, tilting her head at me. “And don’t forget to take Lian with you. Cai would be sad if hindi siya makakasama.”

The way she said it… that smile—gentle, selfless—it hit me like a punch in the chest. Mau letting Cai be happy with the person she truly wanted? That kind of quiet sacrifice, that unspoken pain? I couldn’t imagine bearing it.

“Let’s postpone the dressmaking today. Wala talaga ako sa mood. I’m sorry,” I told her softly.

She only nodded and gave me a thumbs-up, no bitterness in her face, before slipping back into her car.

I waved at Jazzi as a small attempt at connection, but she just rolled her eyes at me.

And honestly? Nasanay na ako. But this time, something felt different. I didn’t feel giddy anymore. It wasn’t about the thrill of chasing someone who didn’t want me. I liked Jazzi—not entirely because she was hard to win over, but because I knew her. I noticed the way she distanced herself, the shifts of her moods, the tiny nuances in her expressions day to day. And the closer I came to her world, the more I realized how difficult it was to actually step inside.

There were a thousand questions I wanted to ask but never could. A thousand reasons I wanted her to say out loud, to explain why she was the way she was. But I knew she wouldn’t.

My thoughts shattered when my phone buzzed.

One notification. One message.

And just like that, my worries dissolved into nothing.

“I’ll be your date later tonight."

Typical Jazzi. People might think she was a walking red flag. But for me? She wasn’t red at all. She was pink. Always pink.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Pagkapasok pa lang namin ni Lian sa bahay ni Gene, nagulat na agad ako. The silence was almost unnatural. Wala man lang halakhakan, wala ring tugtug na umaalingawngaw mula sa speakers. Even the air felt still, parang nag-aabang kung sino ang unang sisira ng katahimikan. Kahit si Lian, na bihira mong makitang nagugulat, grimaced at the sight of the almost-empty living room. Her brows knitted, her lips twisted, and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was: mali ba kami ng bahay?

Pero nang tingnan ko ulit ang phone ko, the glowing red pin on the map confirmed otherwise. Tama naman ang address. Hindi kami nagkamali ng pinuntahan.

“Are you sure it’s here?” Lian finally voiced out, her tone caught between disbelief and annoyance.

“Yeah,” I answered, holding up my phone like it could prove everything. “Tama naman oh. Baka nasa loob lang sila. Tara.” My hand gestured for her to follow, though deep down, even I wasn’t fully convinced.

We stepped further in. Walang ibang tao except for a few maids quietly moving around, their footsteps hushed against the polished wooden floors.

One of the maids noticed our confusion. She rushed over, carrying herself with practiced politeness. “Nasa garden po sila. Ihahatid ko kayo.” She smiled reassuringly, like she’d guided other lost guests before.

Wala na rin kaming choice kundi sumunod. Each step down the long hallway echoed faintly, and I couldn’t shake the thought that this wasn’t what I signed up for. The party that Gene had hyped up? Kung ganito pala, I should’ve just stayed in bed.

Pagdating namin sa garden, everything made sense—and didn’t, at the same time. A small tent was set up sa damuhan, a picnic basket full of food and drinks sprawled out, with a deck of cards messily scattered on the mat. And there they were—Gene, Mau, Cai, and Jazzi. Just them.

Akala ko ba may party? Anong klaseng party na ganito ka-intimate?

“What’s with the frown?” Gene chuckled, flicking a card between her fingers before gesturing toward the mat.

This wasn’t a party at all. At least, not in the way I imagined it. No music, no crowd, no chaos—just a quiet gathering, dangerously close to being mistaken as a group date. Buti na lang hindi kami naka-overdress, otherwise mukha kaming mga tanga ngayon.

“The party got cancelled,” Mau explained, crouching by the chiller to grab something. Her tone was light, but her glance at Gene carried something unspoken. “Gene’s girlfriend didn’t want her to party. Kaya ni-cancel niya.”

Lian raised her brows, disbelief written all over her face. “Ano raw reason?”

Mau smirked faintly, like she knew the answer would stir us. “She doesn’t want Gene to party alone. Gene told her na kasama naman niya kami, pero tahimik lang si girl. For sure, ayaw pa rin. Kaya ayun, hindi na tinuloy.”

Gene stretched her arms overhead with a long sigh, as though she’d accepted defeat a hundred times already. “It’s fine though. I was just trying to celebrate our monthsary. Gusto ko ng party, pero—well—ganito na lang.”

“Eh tarantado ka pala e.” I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms against my chest. “Monthsary ninyo tapos ikaw nagpa-party rito habang siya wala? Ang labo mo.”

Gene groaned, falling back against the pillow like she’d been struck by my words. “Anong gagawin ko? She’s still abroad. Kung pwede ko lang siyang puntahan…”

“Why don’t you?” Lian cut in, tilting her head as if the solution was obvious. “Kaya mo naman siguro.”

Gene hesitated. But before she could even open her mouth, Cai answered for her, her voice gentle but firm. “Kaya niya nga. Pero aalis din siya next week. Hindi rin siya makakasama sa outreach.” She leaned forward, clasping her hands on her lap. “Her research got recognized nationally, and she was invited to join the international research symposium in Singapore. So, mawawala siya for less than a month or so.”

I turned instinctively toward Jazzi, who had been quiet this whole time. Her posture was straight, her eyes steady on the bottle of juice she was holding, but there was a subtle heaviness in her aura. Was she sad because Gene—her VP—would be gone? Or was it something else entirely?

Before I could ask, Gene suddenly smirked at me. The kind of smirk na alam mong may kalokohan. “And that’s why I called for you here,” she declared, pointing at me dramatically. “Because you’re the one who’ll take over as vice president.”

“Gago ka ba?” I nearly choked on my own breath, my eyes widening.

But Gene only laughed, wagging her finger like she’d been waiting for that exact reaction. “It was Jazzi’s idea.” She tilted her chin toward the girl beside her—Jazzi, who looked like she couldn’t care less about what was being discussed.

“Anong trip mo?” I demanded, turning my full attention on her.

She finally met my gaze, her eyes sharp, unreadable. “I’m just making it easier for you.” She said it so plainly, like it was the most logical thing in the world. “You want me to fall for you, right? How can you do that if hindi ka nakapaligid sa akin?”

It felt like the world paused. Even Mau, Gene, and Cai couldn’t help but break into smiles, clearly enjoying the scene like it was a live teleserye. My face burned at their stares, my pulse thundering in my ears. Jazzi’s words were both taunting and—God help me—exactly what I wanted to hear.

“A-at dahil diyan…” Gene stood, sensing the shift and mercifully breaking the silence. “Magbi-beer tayo. Anong gusto nyo?”

“Anong gusto mo, Mau?” Cai turned toward her with a casual grin.

“...Ikaw.”

I swear I almost died on the spot. The words slipped from Mau’s mouth so naturally, like she hadn’t realized the weight of them. I nearly choked on my own saliva kahit wala naman akong iniinom. My eyes snapped to her, then to Cai, and then back again. The air stilled. Lian stiffened beside me.

Everyone froze.

Don’t tell me. Hindi naman siguro aamin siya ngayong gabi? Sa harap ni Lian pa mismo?

Mau’s eyes flicked across our stunned faces before she rolled them with a scoff. “Ikaw pumili ng beer. Yun ang ibig kong sabihin. Kayo talaga, utak nyo…”

Relief—or maybe disappointment?—rippled through the group as Cai chuckled, nudging Mau lightly before standing up. “Fine, fine. Sama ka, Li?”

Lian nodded quickly, as if grabbing onto the distraction. The three of them left for the kitchen, their footsteps retreating down the path.

Leaving me. And Mau. And Jazzi.

The tension instantly shifted, parang biglang sumikip ang hangin. I wanted to talk to Mau, to ask her straight kung anong pinagsimulan ng mga sinabi niya. Pero bago pa man ako makalapit, Jazzi was already there. Blocking me. Positioning herself like some kind of wall I had to climb over.

Every time I leaned slightly toward Mau, Jazzi mirrored the movement, cutting off the path.

“Can you not?” I snapped at her, finally losing patience. “I’m going to talk to Mau about my project.”

She didn’t answer right away. She just looked at me, her face expressionless, but her silence carried the weight of something heavier—territory, claim, maybe even jealousy. Then, without warning, she gestured to the space beside Mau, like she was daring me to try.

So I did. I forced myself to sit beside Mau, determined not to let her dictate my moves. But before I could even settle in, Jazzi grabbed me by the wrist, tugging me hard enough that I stumbled—and landed right on her lap.

Tangina.

I froze. My heart leapt into my throat. Suddenly, my entire body was pressed against her, heat radiating between us. Her arms instinctively caught me, and the world tilted on its axis.

“What’s your problem?” I hissed, trying to wriggle away. My face was on fire, my pride screaming. “Jazzi!”

But she didn’t loosen her grip. “Iwan ko muna kayo. Parang nakakaistorbo pa ako,” Mau said, standing with a too-casual shrug.

I shot her a glare sharp enough to kill, but she only gave me a look that screamed, good luck, before walking off and leaving me alone with this lovely lunatic.

“Anong ginagawa mo?” I tried to push her arms off me, but she held firm. “Nakakairita ka na!”

“So, you don’t like me na?” she asked calmly, her voice so low it sent shivers crawling down my spine.

I stilled. Her words hung heavy in the air, piercing through my defenses. Was this what she wanted all along? To push me until I broke? To turn me off, para sumuko na lang ako?

Well, neknek niya.

“You’re doing this so I’d hate you?” I huffed, glaring at her.

She didn’t answer, her gaze steady, almost challenging.

Fine. Dalhin natin sa next level.

Before I could overthink, I shifted, straddling her lap properly and grabbing her hands to wrap around my waist. “Manigas ka,” I declared, crossing my arms stubbornly. “Wala akong pakialam kung mabigatan ka. Deal with it.”

For a moment, she didn’t move. Then she chuckled—low, warm, and so unexpectedly soft it sent a spark racing down my spine.

When I turned to look at her, she was smiling. Not the faint, sarcastic curl I was used to. No. This time it reached her eyes. Subtle, incomplete, but real. The first genuine smile I’d seen on her.

And it was breathtaking.

“Okay then,” she murmured, tightening her hold on me, her head lowering until it rested against my shoulder. “Basta kapag nasaktan ka, walang sisihan.”

I swear, my soul left my body in that moment. Ako pa mismo ang naglagay sa sarili ko sa posisyong ito, and yet ako rin ang unang naiilang.

Chapter Text

Gene really left that week, just as she said she would. Hindi na rin namin siya nahatid sa airport dahil lahat kami sobrang busy. The outreach program was looming over us like a ticking clock, sabay pa ang runway event. I honestly didn’t know how I was supposed to split myself in half—or thirds—para lang matapos lahat.

Buti na lang, Lian offered to help me with the dress I was making. Kahit si Cai, nakikisali na rin, nagpuputol ng tela or minsan taga-abot lang ng karayom pero malaking tulong pa rin. As for Jazzi, she decided to step in and take over Gene’s council work since nga wala na ako halos oras. She carried it like it was nothing, parang normal lang sa kanya na magbuhat ng gano’n kalaking responsibility. Still, kahit busy rin siya, she never failed to show up at Mau’s house.

And yes, nand’yan siya kahit wala naman siyang aktwal na tinutulong.

I didn’t know what got into her these past few days. Sanay na ako sa lagi niya akong iniismiran, rolling her eyes at me whenever she caught me staring at her. Pero ngayon… tables have turned. It was her who couldn’t stop looking at me.

Nakakailang pala.

I couldn’t focus at all. I could feel her gaze following me from the desk where I sewed, to the couch where I laid down the patterns. Her eyes were steady, deliberate, parang sinasadya niya. It wasn’t the casual, fleeting kind of stare—it was heavy, like she was memorizing every part of me, like she was determined to know me inside out.

As much as I wanted to spend more time with her—God knows I did—tama naman siya. I needed to finish my projects first. Work now, Jazzi later. Or maybe… maybe she just didn’t want anyone stealing my attention. Maybe she just wanted all of me, all to herself. Kaya kahit wala naman siyang natutulong ay nandyan pa rin siya.

One afternoon, on our way out of Mau’s house, she beat me to it.

“Sabay ka na,” Jazzi muttered as she pulled open the backseat door, eyes flicking to me like it was the most natural thing.

“Tara na, Asta!” Mau called from the other side, her passenger seat already open, waiting for me.

Sinong pipiliin ko? Mahal ko o mahal ako?

Kidding. Mau doesn’t like me anyway.

“I want the passenger seat,” I said with a teasing smile.

Jazzi’s hand paused on the car door. She looked at me once, expression unreadable, then—snap—she closed it. Hindi man lang binuksan ang passenger seat. She just gave me the tiniest nod and motioned for me to head to Mau instead.

She fucking didn’t offer me that seat.

My blood boiled. Balang araw, uupuan ko rin ang passenger seat na ‘yan—sa gusto niya o sa hindi.

Rolling my eyes, I stomped my way to Mau’s car. She was already laughing before I even reached her.

“Umasa ka ba?” she teased, her grin wicked. “Ayaw niya talaga.”

I glared at her, gave her a playful punch on the shoulder, which only made her laugh harder. Pikon na nga ako, lalong pinipikon pa.

“Feeling ko gusto na nga ako ni Jazzi,” I muttered as I buckled my seatbelt. “Ayaw niya lang aminin.”

“Feelingera,” Mau snorted, still giggling. “Pero sabagay… Jazzi won’t even look at you if she doesn’t care about you.”

I couldn’t help it—I giggled too, sinking comfortably against the seat. “See? Alam ko eh. Anyway, tomorrow na ang dry run for the event. Hindi ko alam kung makakatulog ako after that.”

“Chill, Asta. Even if we’re not in the event mismo, we can still support you. And besides…” Mau gave me a reassuring smile. “Hahabol ako.”

“Dalhin mo si Jazzi, ah.”

“I will. Pipilitin ko pa nga.” She chuckled, then focused on driving.

By the time we pulled into her driveway, napakunot agad ang noo ko. May motor na nakaparada sa harap—hindi familiar. Cai wouldn’t ride that, Jazzi had her own car. Which meant… bisita?

“Sinong nandito?” Mau asked one of the maids as soon as we got inside.

“Ah, may bisita po ang mama ninyo,” the maid explained politely. “Exchange student daw po ata.” Then she excused herself quickly.

Mau’s eyes narrowed. She clearly didn’t like the sound of that. Without another word, she marched toward the living room. Wala akong choice kundi sumunod.

“Mom, what is this all about?” Mau demanded.

Her mother was sitting on the couch, chatting with someone whose back was turned to us.

“Your manners, Maureen Juno,” her mom scolded, glaring at her.

“I told you not to—” Mau cut herself off the moment the girl turned around.

Damn. She was cute. Younger-looking than us, with this fresh, almost doll-like prettiness.

“Don’t worry, Mau,” Tita said, standing. “She won’t be your babysitter, I know you’re too old for that. And besides, Jazzi and Cai have been good at handling you, so I didn’t need to hire anyone.”

Mau’s jaw tightened at that, but her mom just smiled and gestured toward the girl. “This is Syrah Martis Clavel. She’s a student from Paris, and starting tomorrow, she’ll be attending Ardenwood University. I want you to tour her.”

I bit back a grin—not because of the new fashion student, but because Mau couldn’t stop staring at her.

“Hi, I’m Syrah.” The girl extended her hand politely. Mau, on the other hand, was still starstruck.

I almost burst out laughing. The only reason I didn’t was because I knew Mau would kill me if I did.

“Mau,” she finally stammered, snapping out of it. She shook Syrah’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

They exchanged a few words, awkward on Mau’s side, until Syrah eventually excused herself. “As much as I want to stay longer, I have to go.”

Before following Mau’s mom to her study, Syrah paused and turned back. “Ah, by the way… is it okay to get your number? Since I don’t really know anyone from that school.”

Mau brightened, already reaching for her phone. But Syrah shook her head gently. “Not you. Her.”

She pointed straight at me.

“Ako?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah. Tita told me you’re a fashion major.” She flashed a sweet smile, her features soft and almost baby-like. “And you look pretty too.”

Mau scoffed so loudly I nearly doubled over. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. Poor Mau. Wala talaga siyang swerte.

“There you go,” I said, handing her phone back after saving my number. “I’ll see you around then?”

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll see you.” Her smile widened, almost shy, before she turned to leave.

As soon as she was out of earshot, I turned to Mau with a shrug. “Sorry, mas malakas talaga charisma ko.” I laughed, unable to help myself.

“Hindi ko na isasama si Jazzi kapag nanuod ng runway.” She crossed her arms dramatically and stomped ahead toward the workshop.

“Uy, joke lang!” I called after her, still laughing. “Ito naman! Akala mo naman mang-aagaw e. Loyal ako kay Jazzi ‘no!"

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Patingin nga ako,” I said, making Lian turn around slowly after she was done changing.

The moment she faced us, napasinghap ako. The gown wasn’t just a dress—it was an inferno stitched into fabric, a blaze captured and wrapped around her body. Scarlet silk clung to her like molten skin, every curve of her figure illuminated as if the fire itself wanted to outline her. The hem spilled into a long, burning train, trailing behind her like the remnants of dying embers scattering on the ground.

The edges were blackened, curling like they had just been singed by actual flame, while her shoulders erupted into crimson plumes—sharp, fierce, untamed—almost like wings spreading open, daring to scorch the air itself. She didn’t just wear the gown. She became the flame, alive and consuming, impossible to look away from.

Perfect. She was the perfect model for it.

“Wow.” Cai breathed out, eyes fixed on her, voice barely above a whisper.

And really, who wouldn’t be stunned? Sino ba naman hindi mapapanganga lalo na sa kurba ng katawan ni Lian. She was ethereal, transcendent. Even I hadn’t realized that Lian’s body had the perfect shape for this design. Lagi kasi siyang naka-uniform—loose, unfitted, swallowing her figure whole. At kapag nasa dorm, lagi ring oversized shirt. No one would’ve guessed she had this kind of silhouette hidden beneath all that fabric.

“Tapos na ka—”

Before Jazzi could even finish her sentence, I moved without thinking. Hinarangan ko agad siya with my whole body, blocking her view like a human shield.

No. I wasn’t going to let her see. Hindi ko kakayanin.

Because I knew. The second Jazzi saw her—really saw her—she would compliment her. And if she did? Magdidilim paningin ko. Magseselos ako. Sa akin nga, hindi niya magawa e.

“What are you doing?” Jazzi’s voice was low, curious, almost amused.

I heard the other three chuckling behind us, but I didn’t care. I stayed right there, practically plastered to Jazzi’s front, my arms slightly spread out like I was shielding her from some kind of danger. But the truth was, para na rin akong tanga rito, mukha nang humihingi ng yakap just to keep Jazzi from peeking.

“Get out,” I muttered, eyes narrowing at her.

She tilted her head, tried to lean sideways to sneak a glance, but agad kong hinarangan ulit, stepping right into her line of sight. The laughter behind me grew louder, Cai even snorting, but I still didn’t move.

Sa akin ang tingin mo, Jaze Zianra. Sa akin lang. Huwag kang babaero dito.

And then—suddenly—Jazzi stepped forward.

My breath hitched.

Before I could stop her, she closed the distance and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. My whole body stiffened, every nerve firing at once. The warmth of her pressed against me, her breath brushing just near my ear.

“You did well,” she whispered, her voice a hushed murmur that sent an involuntary shiver crawling down my spine. “She looked great.”

I froze.

Then her tone shifted, deeper, more deliberate. “But that gown would look even better on you. Too bad the designer can’t be the model.”

My heart stuttered. What the hell was she saying?

“What are you saying?” I whispered back, not trusting my voice, barely able to keep myself from trembling.

Her arms tightened around me, pulling me closer, like she didn’t want me to slip away. “Sumabay ka sa akin mamaya pauwi,” she said softly, words grazing like a secret meant for me alone. “I’ll explain it to you then.”

And just like that, she let go.

I stood there, stunned, rooted to the floor while her warmth still lingered on my skin. The air between us was thick, charged, and I couldn’t move.

Bring back the old Jazzi! The one who kept her distance, the one I could tease and roll my eyes at! Hindi pwedeng ganito. Hindi pwedeng ako ang nasspeechless sa kanya.

Chapter Text

"Anong gagawin natin dito?" I asked the moment we stopped in front of her condo building.

She didn’t answer directly—she just gave me that vague little look of hers and motioned for me to follow. Jazzi being Jazzi. Wala na rin akong nagawa kundi sumunod. Whatever trip she was on right now, I honestly couldn’t tell. Kaya tuloy, napilitan akong iasa kina Mau ‘yung paghatid ng dress bukas sa school. Hindi ko talaga kakayanin mag-isa, lalo na’t ang dami pang gagawin.

Bukod pa doon, babyahe na rin sila Jazzi kinabukasan for the outreach. I didn't expect na sa bundok pala iyon gagawin, at hindi lang one-day event kundi dalawang araw pa silang magstay roon. Kaya technically, ang uwi nila ay mismong hapon na ng runway event. I doubted na makakahabol pa sila kahit pa magmadali. Siguro depende na lang kung gaano kabilis matapos ang schedule nila.

Inside her unit, she went straight to her bedroom, while I stayed awkwardly by the door. Ayaw kong pumasok nang basta-basta, lalo na’t mukhang hindi rin niya ako gustong papasukin. Kaya ayun, nakasandal lang ako sa doorframe, watching her move around the room like she was on some kind of mission.

She was opening drawer after drawer, checking, then closing, then opening another. May hinahanap siya, that much was obvious. And yet, hindi niya man lang sinasabi kung ano. I found myself tilting my head, my curiosity bubbling. Ano ba kasing hinahanap niya? Baka naman kaya kong tulungan, pero knowing her, she’d never admit she needed help.

"There it is," she finally muttered, triumph flickering across her face as she pulled out a small box. She turned and walked over to me, handing it without explanation.

"Ano ‘yan?" I asked, hesitant as I accepted the box.

"Open it," was all she said.

So I did, slowly lifting the lid as though something might leap out at me. Inside was a bracelet, delicate and handmade, strung together with beads that had an oddly charming, imperfect beauty. My lips curved into a small laugh, and instinctively, my gaze flicked up to her.

"My cousin gave me that years ago, before she left," Jazzi said, her tone uncharacteristically soft. "It’s a lucky charm. And since I don’t really need luck right now, ipapahiram ko muna sa ‘yo." She didn’t even give me a chance to argue. She took the bracelet gently from the box and clasped it around my wrist herself. "It works. Trust me."

I stared at it, at her fingers brushing lightly against my skin. "Paano kapag hindi gumana? Ipapakilala mo ba ako sa pinsan mo?" I teased, raising my brows.

"No," she said firmly, shaking her head, that tiny smirk ghosting her lips. "She won’t come back here."

I didn’t push further. Instead, we drifted into the living room, settling on the couch. Apparently, nag-order na pala siya ng dinner, something she never mentioned beforehand. Nagulat ako kasi hindi ko naman ine-expect na sasabay ako sa kanya. I quickly messaged Lian to just eat without me, only to find out lumabas din pala siya with Cai. Perfect timing, I guess.

"Jazzi, may I ask something?" I finally said, watching her from the corner of my eye.

She was reading—of course she was, lagi na lang siyang nakatapat sa computer or may hawak na libro—but she still turned her head toward me, brows slightly raised. "Hm? What is it?"

I hesitated, but curiosity won over caution. "Is your cousin the reason why you’re like that? I mean…" I trailed off, recalling her mom’s words. "Based sa kwento ng mommy mo, ang layo talaga ng ugali mo dati sa ngayon."

Her lips curved into something wistful, almost sad. "No," she said quietly, biting her lip as if weighing the truth of her own words. "Mara is a nice girl. Actually, I became like her."

I blinked. "Mara?"

"We were fifteen when she left," Jazzi continued, her voice low but steady. "We promised each other we’d stay together until we reached college. But her parents had to leave—for work."

"And then?" I prompted gently, leaning forward a little.

"She told me na baka hindi na sila bumalik, so she left me the bracelet." Jazzi chuckled softly, though it carried a bitter edge. "It wasn’t even made by her—it was made by her cousin. Hindi ko pinsan."

My brows furrowed. "So why did you change, if okay lang naman pala sa ‘yo na umalis siya?"

The silence that followed was heavy. Too heavy. She didn’t answer right away, and the air between us thickened with unspoken things. Before she could form a reply, someone knocked on the door—the delivery rider, most likely.

But Jazzi didn’t move. She didn’t even look like she intended to. And in that quiet refusal, I knew the truth she wasn’t saying out loud.

I was right. Jazzi wasn’t like this before. Someone had changed her. And deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the person who made this bracelet—the one whose presence lingered even in their absence—was the reason behind the walls she built.

The knock on the door grew a little louder, more insistent, but still she didn’t move. Ako tuloy ang napatingin sa kanya, half-expecting she would at least sigh and get up. Pero hindi. Jazzi just sat there, eyes fixed on her book as if the sound didn’t exist.

"Uh… you’re not gonna get that?" I asked, trying to sound casual even though the silence was starting to feel strange.

Her lips tugged slightly, the faintest smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. "You go. It’s for you anyway."

Confused, I got up and opened the door. The rider handed me a paper bag of food, and I muttered a quick thank you before shutting it again. When I turned back, Jazzi was still in the same position—legs folded on the couch, head bent a little, that unreadable calm plastered all over her face.

I placed the bag on the coffee table and sank back onto the couch. "Ikaw nag-order pero ako ‘yung pinakuha?" I teased, raising a brow.

"Fair trade," she said without looking up. "You get free dinner."

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the laugh that slipped out. Classic Jazzi. Always dodging, always redirecting. Parang may invisible line palagi sa pagitan namin—when I try to step closer, she draws back just enough para hindi ako makalusot.

We started unpacking the food, and as we ate, I kept sneaking glances at the bracelet on my wrist. Its beads caught the dim light of the lamp, shimmering faintly. It looked so ordinary yet carried a weight I couldn’t quite name.

"Do you still talk to her?" I asked out of nowhere, my voice quieter this time.

Jazzi didn’t answer immediately. She set down her chopsticks and leaned back, staring at the ceiling like the question had pulled her somewhere far away. "No," she finally said. "We lost touch years ago."

There was a finality in her tone, but something about the way her fingers fidgeted with the edge of her sleeve told me it wasn’t that simple.

"So she just… left?" I pressed, softer this time, unsure if I even wanted to know the answer.

Her gaze slid to me, sharp yet fragile, like glass that could crack with one wrong word. "People leave, Asta. That’s what they do."

The way she said my name—it wasn’t harsh, but it landed heavy, a weight pressed against my chest.

I swallowed, suddenly aware of how quiet the room had become. The hum of the aircon, the faint traffic outside, all of it blurred into the background. Ang naiwan na lang ay kaming dalawa, at ang pagitan naming puno ng mga bagay na hindi niya masabi.

"Not everyone leaves," I murmured, not sure why I said it, only that I needed to.

For a second, her lips parted as if she might argue, but then she closed them again. She looked away, reaching for her drink instead, and that was her answer.

I let out a slow breath, forcing myself to lean back and pretend to focus on my food. But deep inside, the thought clung stubbornly—whoever she was before, whatever happened to her, I wanted to understand. I wanted to know the story behind every wall she built.

Because right now, even as she sat just a few inches away, Jazzi felt galaxies apart.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Days came and went so quickly na halos hindi ko na namalayan. Before I knew it, andito na agad kami sa pinaka-aabangan — the runway event organized by the fashion department. Everything was in place, maayos ang flow, polished lahat ng details. Pero kahit gano’n, halata mo pa rin sa bawat isa sa amin ang kaba.

Kakatapos lang ng final walk ng models, and now, lahat sila nakahanay na sa stage. Our class had the last schedule kaya kahit gabi na ay nandoon pa rin kami, pagod pero alerto, waiting for the results. By class kasi ang presentations, kaya automatic na rin kaming magkakalaban.

And honestly, ang gaganda ng gawa ng iba. Each dress had its own personality, its own brilliance. But still, Lian stood out. Hindi lang dahil sa gown, pero dahil sa presence niya. The way she moved, the way she owned the stage — para bang siya talaga ang nilaan para sa design na iyon. Alam kong hindi ako nagkamali sa pagpili sa kanya as my model.

"Who is she?" a voice from the crowd cut through my thoughts. Familiar, playful.

"That’s Melian Yasmin Regalado," may sumagot agad, kaya napalingon ako.

Syrah was there, eyes squinting like she was trying to recall something. "I think I’ve seen her before," she murmured, tilting her head.

Napangiti ako at nilapitan siya. "Yeah. She’s my best friend. You saw her last time sa bahay nina Mau," I reminded her.

Her eyes lit up the moment she noticed me. "Ikaw gumawa niyan?" she asked, excitement brimming in her voice.

For a moment, gusto ko sanang angkinin lahat ng credit. Pero naalala ko si Mau — her shy hands, her quiet but steady help while I stitched and stressed over deadlines. Kung gaano siya torpe sa lahat ng bagay, lalo na sa feelings niya. Kaya I did what she couldn’t.

"Hindi lahat," I admitted with a smile. "Mau helped me a lot. She’s good with fashion, and she was really efficient. You can ask her for help sometime."

Agad namula ang pisngi ni Syrah, her gaze flicking away as if pretending she didn’t hear me.

Napailing ako nang bahagya. Sayang, wala si Mau ngayon. Kumusta kaya sila sa outreach? Okay lang ba sila? Did they even get a chance to rest? Sana lang safe sila.

"And now, let’s announce the winner for this class," the host’s voice boomed, pulling me back to the present.

Kinabahan ako bigla. Kanina, I thought I was calm — steady, even. Pero ngayong nandito na, parang gusto nang sumabog ng dibdib ko. Kahit hindi ako manalo, all I wanted was for Jazzi to be proud of me. That would’ve been more than enough.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the host continued, "to present the award to our winner this evening, may we call on stage the pillars of our institution’s excellence. First, the Dean of the Fashion Department, Dean Sarah Hernandez…"

Ang tagal. Every second felt like forever.

"And joining the Dean is the Student Council President, Ms. Jaze Zianra A. Rivera. Please welcome them both with a warm round of applause."

Just like that, my nerves vanished.

Jazzi was up there. She wasn’t smiling, but she wasn’t cold either. Her eyes were searching the crowd, scanning with quiet intent. And kahit na malamang hindi ako ang hinahanap niya, I raised my hand.

Our eyes met.

And suddenly… Jazzi smiled.

Lord. Patay na patay na talaga ako rito. Kung hindi siya magiging akin, bakit?!

"And the winner is…"

I didn’t care anymore. My name didn’t matter in that moment. I only cared about the girl on stage, the smile that was meant for me, the warmth that reached me even from a distance.

"Astherielle Quinley Abueva!"

The crowd erupted, pero lahat ng tunog nawala the moment I saw Jazzi tilt her head, waiting for me. I climbed the stage, hand trembling when she reached out to shake mine. The dean stood beside us, the cameras flashed, and the applause rolled in waves.

But my whole world was narrowed to her.

When the awarding was done and I turned to leave, Jazzi didn’t let me. She helped me step down the stairs, then tugged me away, pulling me backstage.

"The hell?" I chuckled breathlessly, still dazed.

"I’m proud of you," she said — and then she hugged me. Tight. Genuine. Like I was the only person who mattered in the world.

"You came," I whispered.

"Of course. It’s your event. I will definitely be here."

Her warmth seeped into me, her voice, her smile, her everything. For once, wala akong laban.

I didn’t want this moment to end. If winning meant seeing Jazzi this happy for me, then I wanted to win a hundred more times.

Chapter Text

Malapit na ang finals, at kung tutuusin, the pressure was everywhere—hallways buzzing with stressed students, libraries packed with reviewers, and professors piling up requirements left and right. But for me, it was all bearable. Not because I was exceptionally prepared, but because of Jazzi.

I know people might look at me and say I was head over heels for her—na para bang wala na akong ibang iniisip kundi siya. And honestly? I wouldn’t even deny it. What’s the point? Kung tatanungin ako, baka nga mag-explain pa ako sa kanila kung bakit ako ganito ka invested, kung bakit every little thing she does seems to make everything lighter.

I didn’t know when it started exactly, but as time passed by, I learned to understand Jazzi. I realized na change is inevitable, lalo na sa isang taong tulad niya. Hindi ko naman kailangan alamin lahat ng nangyari sa kanya noon, the things that made her the way she is now. I just wanted to enter her world. To know her more deeply, piece by piece.

I wanted to be the girl she would be excited to text after a long day. The girl she’d trust enough to sit on her passenger seat during late-night drives. The girl she’d smile at so widely, na ‘yung ngiti niya umaabot hanggang tenga, eyes crinkling, the kind of smile na hindi niya basta binibigay kahit kanino. I wanted so badly to be that girl—her girl.

“Jazzi, hindi ka pa ba kakain?” I asked softly, turning in her direction.

But she didn’t respond. Napakunot ang noo ko and I stood up to check on her. Then I stopped, smiling at the sight that greeted me. She was sleeping—head resting on her arm, lips slightly parted, her brows relaxed for once. Probably napagod siya kakareview, tapos andami pa naming events na kailangang asikasuhin before Christmas break. No wonder drained na siya.

One week pa bago dumating si Gene, kaya ako na muna ang tumutulong kay Jazzi sa student council works. Nakakasanayan ko na rin naman. In fact, I didn’t mind. It felt good to be useful to her, kahit papaano.

“Hey,” I whispered gently, leaning closer. But I didn’t have the heart to wake her up. She looked so peaceful, and damn—she looked ethereal even in sleep.

Before I could stop myself, I pulled out my phone, grinning like an idiot as I secretly angled the camera. Hindi naman siguro niya malalaman… just one picture. Just for me.

But then—flash.

“What the—” My heart almost jumped out of my chest. Agad kong itinago ang phone sa likod ko, hoping she didn’t notice. But her lashes fluttered, and soon, those drowsy eyes locked on mine.

“What is it?” she asked, voice low and husky with sleep.

“Ah, wala… ano lang—” My words fumbled, my cheeks burning.

Jazzi straightened up, stretching a little before standing. With lazy determination, she reached behind me, her hand brushing against mine as she snatched the phone I was obviously hiding. Wala na akong nagawa kundi ibigay.

“You want a selfie?” she asked casually, and before I could even respond, she took a picture of herself. Then she handed the phone back to me, lips quirking in that signature half-smile of hers. “I told you, sabihan mo lang ako kapag may gusto ka.”

I was still too stunned, but she tousled my hair playfully like I was some little kid, then sat back down on her chair, slipping into her usual composed self.

“What if ikaw gusto ko?” I blurted out without thinking. My laugh came out awkward, trying to brush it off. “Ay… hindi na pala ‘what if’ ‘yon.”

She rolled her eyes, but I swore I caught the faintest trace of a smile tugging at her lips. “Hindi ka pa pala tapos sa panghaharot mo, ‘no?” she muttered, grabbing her eyeglasses and sliding them on. “Lunch na. Hindi ka pa kakain?”

“Aayain nga sana kita, kaso tulog ka.” I pouted exaggeratedly, hoping to tease her more.

This time, Jazzi nodded simply and said, “Tara.”

My heart skipped, and I couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped me.

We were about to leave the office when suddenly—

“Surprise!”

A girl burst into the student council office with a voice so bright, so unapologetically full of life, na parang mismong hangin sa paligid ay napuno ng bagong kulay.

And Jazzi—Jazzi froze.

For the first time in forever, I saw her surprised. Truly surprised. Eyes wide, lips parted, almost starstruck. I had to blink twice just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it.

And then I saw her.

The girl.

She was stunning—like a doll stepped straight out of a glass display, hair cascading perfectly, skin so flawless it almost glowed beneath the fluorescent lights. She had this aura of elegance na hindi mo lang makikita, pero mararamdaman mo rin. I’ve been in this university for three years, pero never ko pa siyang nakita kahit minsan. Wala man lang balita. And yet here she was, walking in as if she owned the place.

Then it happened—Jazzi smiled.

Not just her usual polite smile, not the subtle smirk she sometimes gave, not even the rare softened curve of her lips I always looked forward to. No. This one was different. This was the smile I had been aching to earn. The wide, ear-to-ear grin that made her eyes crinkle, that made her whole face glow like sunlight. The smile that screamed familiarity, warmth, home.

And it wasn’t for me.

“Samien.”

Just a name. But the way Jazzi said it—it was like a spell, a secret whispered to the universe. She’d said my name countless times before, pero never like that. Not with that depth. Not with that softness, that trembling joy.

Something cracked inside me.

All my life, I was never insecure. I grew up knowing I could be anything I wanted to be if I just worked hard enough. I believed na walang imposible, na kaya kong lampasan ang kahit sino.

Pero ngayon. Ngayon lang ako nag-doubt.

“Jazzi?” the girl—Samien—asked, her tone equally soft, equally loaded with something I couldn’t quite name.

And then Jazzi moved.

She ran towards her. No hesitation. No second thought. She wrapped her arms around Samien and hugged her so tightly, so desperately, as if she’d been waiting years just to do that.

I couldn’t move. Wala akong nagawa kundi tumayo roon, frozen, watching the scene unfold like some cruel play written just to break me. In an instant, I became invisible. The moment Jazzi’s eyes landed on Samien, it was as if I ceased to exist.

And that was the worst part.

I didn’t even know her. I didn’t know who Samien was, what she meant to Jazzi, or what history they shared. Pero ramdam ko—talong-talo ako sa kanya. Sa presence pa lang, sa tingin pa lang ni Jazzi sa kanya, I already lost.

Ano bang meron siya? Money? Brilliance? Beauty?

The answer was obvious. She had all three. And worse—she had Jazzi’s heart in a way I never could.

She looked gorgeous. She looked kind. And that was why I couldn’t hate her, kahit pa gusto ko. Kahit pa gusto kong magkaroon ng dahilan para isisi lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Pero wala eh. Wala akong masisisi. Ako lang naman ang may kasalanan, dahil ako ‘tong umasa.

“I miss you,” Jazzi whispered into her ear, tightening the hug.

That was my cue to look away. To leave. Kasi kung titingnan ko pa sila ng mas matagal, baka bumigay na lang ako roon mismo.

So I turned and walked out of the office, forcing my steps to stay steady kahit na ang bigat-bigat ng dibdib ko.

“Asta, okay ka lang?”

It was Mau. She saw me walking down the hallway, and without hesitation, she matched my steps. Her concerned eyes searched my face.

I forced a bitter smile, one that barely held itself together. “Alam ko na kung ano nararamdaman mo kapag nakikita mo si Cai at Lian,” I said softly. “Ang strong mo pala, Mau.”

She stopped walking, surprised at my words. Napatingin ako sa kanya over my shoulder.

“What happened?” she asked carefully. “Did Jazzi introduce someone to you?”

I shook my head slowly, lips pressed tight. That was exactly what angered me. Jazzi had been warning me not to hope too much, not to fall too hard, not to expect anything from her. She told me I’d only get hurt. Pero never—never—did she tell me about Samien.

Why didn’t she? Why keep me in the dark, when she knew one day I’d stumble right into this truth?

The rest of the day blurred. I decided to ignore it all. Ignore the ache, the heaviness, the raw sting pressing against my chest. Wala na akong naramdaman. Or maybe I just refused to feel anything anymore. I didn’t even return to the office. I couldn’t. The thought of seeing them together again was unbearable.

But fate was cruel.

When I reached the parking lot later that day, I froze on the spot.

There they were again.

Jazzi, standing close to Samien, carefully leaning into the car. My breath hitched, my chest tightened. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

And then I saw it—the small, intimate gesture that broke me completely.

Jazzi was fastening Samien’s seatbelt who’s sitting on the passenger seat. Like it was her place. Like she’d done it a thousand times before.

A tear slipped down my cheek before I even realized it.

Right there, in that moment, it hit me like a cruel truth I’d been avoiding all this time: everything I wanted Jazzi to do for me, everything I’d been secretly hoping for—she was capable of doing it.

Kaya niyang ngumiti nang ganoon, kaya niyang tumawag ng pangalan na may excitement, kaya niyang magpaupo sa passenger seat niya. Kayang kaya niya gawin lahat ng iyon.

Hindi nga lang sa akin.

Chapter Text

"Asta, anong gusto mong ulam? Caldereta o Afritada?" Lian’s voice reached me the moment I stepped into the dorm room, parang automatic na ang tanong niya as if she already expected na wala akong gana sumagot. She was standing near the small counter, holding two cans in her hands like a mother na nag-aalok ng options sa anak niyang wala namang choice kundi tumango.

I dropped my bag on the table with a heavy thud, the sound echoing in the small space of our shared room. "Kahit ano, parehas lang naman de lata ‘yan," I muttered, my tone carrying a lazy indifference I couldn’t shake off. My voice sounded tired, even to my own ears, parang drained of any life.

Dragging my feet, I slumped down into my study chair, my eyes immediately drawn to the mirror propped against the wall. I caught my own reflection — disheveled hair, tired eyes, lips pressed tightly together as if holding back words I couldn’t say out loud. Until now, mabigat pa rin ang dibdib ko. Hindi lang basta bigat na physical, kundi ‘yung tipong parang may nakapatong na bato sa loob, pressing down with every shallow breath.

"Asta, okay ka lang ba?" Lian’s voice softened this time. She placed the food in front of me, careful and gentle, as if sensing na hindi lang gutom ang problema ko. "Kanina pa kita tinatawag, hindi ka naimik."

I tore my gaze away from my reflection, shaking my head slightly. I didn’t trust myself to speak yet. Instead, I looked down at the food she set in front of me, a weak and bitter smile tugging at my lips.

Ang hirap na nga ng buhay ko, ang hirap pa ng sitwasyon. Langya naman oh. As if the universe was conspiring against me, piling on problems on top of an already unbearable weight.

Finally, I forced out, "Gutom lang siguro ako," my voice small, shaky. I sniffled, hoping the excuse would be enough to cover the sting in my eyes.

The first spoonful felt heavier than it should. The taste of the sauce barely registered because the moment the food touched my mouth, my tears betrayed me, streaming down uncontrollably. My shoulders shook as I tried to chew, and soon it was useless to pretend.

"Asta?" Lian’s brows furrowed, her concern etched deep into her expression. She immediately reached for a tissue and dabbed gently at my cheeks, her touch careful like she was handling something fragile. "Anong nangyayari sa ‘yo? May umaway ba?"

The floodgates broke. My chest tightened as sobs forced their way out. "Ang sarap ng ulam," I croaked, my voice breaking between hiccups. "Anong brand ‘to?"

I cried harder. Hindi dahil sa ulam, obviously, but because I needed something — anything — to justify the tears streaming endlessly. Kasi if I admitted the real reason, it would mean exposing myself to Lian’s disapproval. Ayokong sabihin kay Lian ang katangahan ko. Una sa lahat, she never liked Jazzi for me. And now… ngayon na wala akong pwedeng sisihin kundi sarili kong kakulitan, paano ko pa aaminin?

"Gago, hindi ka naman umiiyak kahit masarap kinakain mo," Lian said, narrowing her eyes at me as if trying to pierce through my flimsy excuse. Her gaze was intense, searching for cracks, and honestly, I was all cracks right now. "What happened nga?! Sinong nambully sa ’yo?"

Her voice carried a firmness that only best friends could use — no room to dodge, no room to escape. She leaned closer, forcing me to look at her, pero imbes na sumagot, I tugged at her oversized shirt and buried my face into her chest. Ang sakit talaga. Ang sikip sa dibdib, parang sinasakal ako ng sarili kong kahinaan. Hindi ko na alam kung paano ipapaliwanag, hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko.

I felt her arms circle around me, hesitant at first, then tightening like she was silently saying, I got you kahit hindi ko pa naiintindihan.

"Si Jazzi ’no?" she whispered after a long pause, her voice careful. She pulled back slightly, searching my face, and her suspicion turned into something closer to confirmation. "I saw her with a girl kanina."

My lips trembled before I forced out a laugh, but it came out broken, bitter. "Ang ganda ’di ba? Ang tangkad pa. Para siyang Barbie." My laugh dissolved into sobs again, shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

Lian winced, her hand hovering like she didn’t know whether to pat me or slap me awake. "Asta…"

"Okay lang ’yan," she tried, grasping at anything that could comfort me. "Kamukha mo naman si Mama Mary."

Through my tears, I blinked at her, processing her words. "Paano kung atheist siya?!" My voice cracked as another wave of sobs overtook me. "Aaaaaaa!"

Instead of sympathy, I heard it — the quiet burst of laughter she tried so hard to stifle. Lian’s shoulders shook as she pressed her lips together, pero halata pa rin.

My head snapped up, tears and snot and all, glaring at her. "BAKIT KA TUMATAWA NASASAKTAN NA NGA AKO?!"

Her lips twitched before she gave up entirely, laughing despite herself. "Sino ba may kasalanan?" she asked, half-serious, half-teasing.

"AKO NGA!" I shouted, my voice trembling with hurt. "PERO BEST FRIEND MO ’KO! I-COMFORT MO AKO!"

Lian quickly tried to compose herself, though her grin betrayed her. She pulled me close again, one hand rubbing my head in a soothing rhythm, pero paminsan-minsan natatawa pa rin siya. Palibhasa, gusto siya ni Cai kaya madali lang sa kanya. Hindi niya pa nararanasan.

"Wait," I said suddenly, pushing her slightly away, my mind spiraling in a direction I couldn’t control.

"Hm?" She tilted her head, clearly confused.

"What if…" My throat bobbed as I swallowed hard. "What if you found out that Mau likes Cai, but Cai likes you? Hindi mo ba ipapaubaya si Cai kay Mau?"

The question hung between us, heavy and raw.

"Hindi," Lian answered without hesitation, shaking her head firmly. No pause, no doubt.

Her certainty cut through me like a knife. Mas lalo akong naiyak. The unfairness of it all crashed into me, sharp and suffocating. "Ayoko na," I whimpered, collapsing back into her arms. "Lord, penge bagong best friend."

Her laughter mixed with my cries, the room filled with the messy sound of grief and comfort clashing. And in that moment, kahit gaano ka-ironic, I knew this was exactly how Lian and I survived everything — through tears, through laughter, through brutal honesty na masakit pakinggan pero mas masakit tanggapin.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Hindi na ako nagduty sa SC. Para saan pa? To sit there, pretending everything was normal, just to see Jazzi across the room and fall for her all over again? Para muling bumalik sa cycle na ako lang ang laging talo? I told her before that I knew when to distance myself, at iyon mismo ang gagawin ko ngayon.

Ayokong makasira ng relasyon na meron sila ni Samien. Ayoko ring saktan pa ang sarili ko nang paulit-ulit. Mas madaling umatras habang kaya pa, kaysa manatili at magmakaawa ng kahit kaunting atensyon na alam ko namang hindi na para sa akin. I knew she wouldn’t even notice I was gone—but still, a small, pathetic part of me hoped she would.

Ang tagal din namang magkasama, pero bakit parang mas matagal sila? Bakit parang sa ilang araw lang, mas malalim na agad ang koneksyon nila kaysa sa mga buwan na kasama ko si Jazzi?

"Asta!"

I froze when I heard someone calling my name. Paglingon ko, I saw Mike running towards me, his strides uneven, his chest heaving. Huminto rin siya nang tumigil ako, clearly catching his breath.

"How are you?" he finally managed between gasps.

Napakunot ang noo ko. "You chased me… just to ask kung kumusta ako?" My tone came out flat, almost mocking. I rolled my eyes, turned, and walked ahead, not wanting to entertain his sudden display of concern.

"Wait," he said, quickly reaching out. His hand closed around mine, warm and insistent.

Agad akong nainis. "Let go of me," I muttered through clenched teeth.

"What’s happening, Asta?" Mike’s brows furrowed as he studied my face, like he wanted to read through all the walls I was building. "I just want to ask if you have a date—"

"Let her go."

The voice that cut him off made my knees weaken. Jazzi.

Napapikit ako, wishing I hadn’t heard her, wishing she hadn’t come at all.

Jazzi’s hand pried Mike’s away from mine with an authority I both hated and longed for. Her eyes softened as she turned to me, and she was about to hold me—pero agad akong umiwas. I couldn’t let her touch me, not when every brush of her skin meant another wound I’d willingly take.

"Let’s talk," she said, voice low but firm. "See me in my office."

"There’s nothing to talk about, Jazzi," I forced the words out, even as my chest caved in on itself. I turned to her fully, met her eyes with all the strength I could muster. "Natauhan na ako. Ayoko na sa ’yo."

A lie.
God, what a blatant lie.

Kahit anong gawin ko, kahit ilang beses kong paulit-ulitin sa sarili ko, hindi ko maaalis ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya. But to survive—to keep myself from breaking completely—I had to push her away.

If only… if only she would chase me down the hallway, look me in the eyes, and tell me the truth about what’s between her and Samien—baka sakaling bumalik pa ako.

But Jazzi didn’t.

Nakarating ako sa building namin at wala pa rin siya. Hindi man lang ako sinundan. And I refused to be the one to run after her. Hindi ko na kaya.

A thought twisted painfully in my chest. Paano ko bibisitahin pusa namin, kung iiwas ako? What if one day gusto ko siyang puntahan at nandoon si Samien, lounging on the couch with Jazzi, laughing, maybe leaning into each other like they were the only ones that existed? Mas gugustuhin ko na lang sigurong huwag makita. Dahil kung makita ko iyon… edi umiyak na lang ako sa harap nila.

"Ms. Abueva."

"Ay ikog," I gasped, covering my mouth in embarrassment.

"Dito ang classroom natin, lalagpas ka na," our professor pointed out dryly, gesturing at the door. Napayuko ako, heat creeping up my neck as I slipped inside.

I heard some of my classmates laughing, but they quieted immediately when I entered. The atmosphere shifted into something heavier, daunting even. Parang may nagbago, though I couldn’t pinpoint what. Basta pag-upo ko pa lang, ramdam ko na agad ang bigat ng paligid.

"Asta." Someone called from behind. Napalingon ako. "For you." The boy smiled sheepishly and handed me a folded paper.

Napakunot ang noo ko. Really? Pass-the-letter games in college? Wala akong time sa ganito. Still, I opened it.

My chest tightened when I saw what was inside: carefully written letters, looping and playful. A cute lettering asking me to be his date for the midnight masquerade—the much-talked-about year-end party organized by the SC. The announcements had gone out early so everyone could prepare, secure their outfits, and of course, their dates.

I stared at the words, unmoving. My heart whispered Jazzi’s name, but my brain reminded me that she already had someone she’d most likely bring—Samien. Outsiders were allowed anyway, so of course, that’s who she’d choose.

I sighed, scribbled a polite rejection, and returned the paper. Not because I didn’t appreciate the effort. Not even because I couldn’t imagine him as my date. But because I wasn’t going at all.

Mas gugustuhin ko pa sigurong umuwi, spend the night with my mother kahit pagalitan pa niya ako dahil gusto niya talagang sumasali ako sa mga ganitong events.

"Asta." Another voice called from the other side of the room. "May date ka na?" he mouthed exaggeratedly.

"Asta." Another guy called.

I rolled my eyes so hard it almost hurt.

Putangina. Hindi ba nila ako titigilan?

"Ms. Abueva." Our professor’s voice cut sharp through the room. Napapikit na lang ako, bracing for it.

Of course. Asta na naman. Lagi na lang akong subject ng usapan.

"Ano bang gusto ninyong itanong kay Ms. Abueva at ang iingay ninyo?" our professor asked pointedly.

"Sir, may date na po ba siya para sa midnight masquerade?" one of my classmates blurted.

All eyes turned to me. Even our professor looked expectant. Hindi ako makasagot. My throat closed up. Nahihiya ako. And to make it worse—

"Good afternoon, sir. May I excuse Ms. Abueva for a while?"

Her voice again. Jazzi.

Calm, steady, confident. She walked in with a folder in hand, her presence commanding the room without even trying. My chest squeezed painfully, and I quickly looked away.

"Wait a minute, tinatanong pa siya ng kaklase niya," our professor said, gesturing at me. "Ms. Abueva, may date ka na raw ba?"

I lifted my eyes to Jazzi. She was staring back, her expression unreadable but her gaze sharp, curious. Bakit siya interesado? Curious kasi alam niyang hindi ko kayang pumunta kung hindi siya ang date? Curious kasi she knew I wouldn’t dare pester her about it now that Samien was back?

"Meron na po," I lied with a smile.

The room went still.

"Sino?" someone asked.

My lips went dry. For a moment, I panicked. Then, without thinking, I said, "Mike."

Even though I didn’t know if he’d still bother to ask me again. I didn’t even bother with the surname—mas safe na iyon.

The silence thickened. Even Jazzi froze.

Our professor finally motioned for me to follow Jazzi. Wala akong choice, so I did.

"You have a date already?" she asked as we walked down the hallway, her tone clipped. "Mike? The varsity guy?"

I didn’t meet her eyes. "Anong kailangan mo?"

"Answer me first."

"Narinig mo naman ’di ba?" I muttered. "Now, tell me what you want para makabalik na ako sa klase ko."

"I want you back."

The words hit me like a slap.

My feet halted. My world tilted.

"In our office," she added softly.

I forced out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. "Babalik na rin si Gene. Kaya mo na ’yan." I turned, ready to walk away.

But Jazzi’s hand shot out, pulling at my wrist before she wrapped her arms around me.

I froze. Ang init ng yakap niya.

Buti na lang wala nang students sa hallway. Kung meron, baka mukha kaming tanga—dalawang taong hindi makapaghintay, nagyakapan sa gitna ng corridor.

"I’m sorry, Asta," she whispered against my ear, her voice trembling now. "Hindi ko agad sinabi sa ’yo."

"Na may hinihintay kang bumalik?" I asked hoarsely, turning slightly to face her.

She nodded slowly.

My chest cracked open. I pushed her back gently, needing space. "Kayo na ba?"

"No. Not yet." She lowered her gaze, shame flickering across her features.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You asked me to stop, right? And I told you na titigilan kita sa tamang time." I drew in a shaky breath. "And this is it, Jazzi. Gusto kita. But I know my worth."

I turned and walked away, each step both heavy and liberating.

This time, hindi na gaanong masakit. Hindi na rin ako naiiyak. Maybe because deep inside, I finally realized—there are people out there who want to take care of me, who won’t make me feel like an option.

Siguro nga tama sila—ang weird ng type ko. If Jazzi could change, then why couldn’t I? Maybe it was time to look at others. Maybe opening my heart somewhere else would finally bring me the peace I’d been longing for.

Chapter Text

"Hindi ko kaya!" I cried, rolling over my bed as if burying myself in the sheets would somehow stop the ache in my chest. My pillow was already soaked with tears, but I didn’t care. "Lian, patayin mo na lang ako!"

"Tangina, ang OA mo!" Lian shot me a look that was equal parts disbelief and pity. "Una sa lahat, hindi pa naman sila. And tandaan mo—ang pag-ibig ay hindi kusang dumarating. Inaagaw siya."

I paused, squinting at her like she just said the dumbest thing on earth. "Tangina, Lian. As if naman maagaw ko ‘yung taong magpaagaw lang kung gusto niya."

Gago talaga ‘to magbigay ng advice. Alam mo ‘yung tipong gusto mong maniwala pero parang mas lalo ka lang niyang binubuang? Exactly that.

Naalala ko tuloy ‘yung sabi ni mama noon—walang taong maaagaw kung walang magpapaagaw. You can tempt someone all you want, but if they’re really in love, hindi ka nila makikita kahit nasa harap ka na. Pero siyempre, my mother said that not from experience. Hindi galing sa tatay ko—dahil ni minsan, hindi ko naman siya nakilala. According to her, one-night stand lang daw ‘yung nangyari sa kanila. Walang halong emosyon, walang kwento—just a mistake that led to me. Hindi niya hinabol, hindi niya hinanap. Ang sabi pa niya, may kamukha lang daw ang nanay ko kaya pinatulan siya ng tatay ko.

Pero hindi ‘yun ‘yung point ko!

Ang gusto kong malaman ay—bakit? Bakit parang hindi ako kayang piliin ni Jazzi kahit anong gawin ko? Pangit ba ako? I mean, sure, hindi ako Miss Universe, pero come on! Hindi naman ako mukhang basahan. May mali ba sa pagkatao ko? Or baka may kung anong kulang sa akin na hindi ko makita?

"Asta, ayos ka pa ba?" Lian asked, looking at me like she was genuinely debating whether to call for help. "Nilalagnat ka ba?"

I pouted, lying back down dramatically. "Kailangan ko ng hug."

Lian sighed, obviously giving in, and she was just about to hug me when I pushed her away like she carried a contagious disease.

"Hindi galing sa ‘yo!" I said, rolling my eyes so hard it almost hurt.

"Kanino, ha?" she smirked, clearly enjoying how pathetic I looked. "Sa taong nasa labas ng dorm na mukhang kanina pa naghihintay?"

I froze. My eyes widened. Hindi ko alam kung anong mas mabilis—yung tibok ng puso ko o yung pagtalon ko mula sa kama.

Alam ko! Sinabi ko na iiwasan ko na si Jazzi, na magpapakatatag ako, na magfofocus ako sa sarili ko—but screw that. Miss na miss ko na siya. Siya ang the one ko, okay? Kung hindi kami para sa isa’t isa ngayon… baka pwedeng bukas na lang.

But my excitement deflated faster than a popped balloon the moment I saw Mau outside. I almost groaned. Gusto ko sanang mag-roll ng eyes pero napigilan ko dahil, to be fair, Mau had been nothing but kind to me lately. So wala akong karapatan magtaray.

"Asta," she greeted, her tone neutral.

"Ano?" I asked, already sounding disappointed. Hindi ko na tinago. "Bakit ka nandito?"

"I need Syrah’s number."

I blinked. "Iyon lang? Pumunta ka pa rito para lang humingi ng number?"

"I texted you," she said, showing me her phone, "pero hindi ka nagrereply."

I crossed my arms. "Tatanungin ko muna siya. Baka ayaw ka niyang kausap, e. Magkaroon pa ako ng kasalanan." I huffed, pulling out my phone from my pocket.

Pagbukas ko, sunod-sunod na notifications ‘yung bumungad sa akin. Most were from Mau, pero isa lang ‘yung tumagos sa kaluluwa ko—isang message from Jazzi.

Jazzi:
Our cat misses you. I hope you can visit it soon.

My heart clenched. Tangina. Bawal akong maging marupok. Hindi pwede. Pero… ang hirap! Miss ko na ‘yung pusa namin, oo, pero mas miss ko siya. And I couldn’t even deny it. Kahit anong iwas, kahit anong convince ko sa sarili ko, it’s always her.

Still, pride first. I wouldn’t reply until she told me na walang namamagitan sa kanila ni Samien. Until she said it herself—that she missed me too. That I wasn’t imagining everything.

"Anyway," Mau spoke again, breaking my train of thought. "Have you heard?"

I raised a brow. "Ang alin?"

"Gene’s girlfriend is here," Mau said, smiling like it was some fun gossip. "She was supposed to surprise Gene, pero nasa out of town pa si Gene. So she asked me if I could look after her for a while."

"Oh." I blinked, not really processing.

"Sama ka minsan," Mau continued. "Para hindi ka bored."

"Yeah, maybe," I murmured, exhaling heavily. "I actually need that. Mababaliw na ako rito."

Mau chuckled and nodded. "Actually kakain kami somewhere mamaya. Sasama ko nga sana si Jazzi kaso mukhang wala sa mood. Sinubukan kong tawagan pero pinapatayan lang ako ng phone."

My heart jumped again. Wala sa mood? Bakit kaya? Ako kaya ang dahilan?

I bit back a smile. "Send me the location," I said, trying to sound casual even though my pulse was going crazy. "Susunod ako."

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Nawala ako sa mood the moment Mau texted me saying na hindi na raw kami tuloy dahil may gagawin siya. The tone of her message was casual, almost dismissive, as if all my plans—my outfit, my effort—meant nothing. What made it worse was that Syrah finally agreed na ibigay ko ang number niya kay Mau, and now I couldn’t tell if Mau was actually busy or just wanted an excuse to talk to Syrah. Typical. Maharot talaga.

Nakakainis lang. Kung kailan nakabihis na ako, kung kailan ready na akong umalis, at kung kailan nasabi ko na kay Lian ang plano ko.

“Ano? Aalis ka ba? Nandiyan na si Cai, aalis na kami,” Lian said, flashing me a teasing grin.

Her expression screamed ‘may date ako, ikaw wala’. The smugness on her face made me want to throw a pillow at her—or better yet, wish that she tripped before she even reached Cai. Hmp. Serves her right.

I turned back to the mirror, staring at my reflection. Sayang naman ‘tong outfit ko kung dito lang ako mauubos sa inis. But then again… saan naman ako pupunta? At kanino?

My eyes landed on my phone lying quietly on the table. Jazzi’s message flashed across the screen again. Should I go to her? Mau said she wasn’t in the mood—baka madamay lang ako sa bad trip niya.

But… what if I could comfort her?

Pero bakit ko naman gagawin ‘yon? Siraulo ba ako?

I sighed—no, groaned. A deep, dramatic sigh that could’ve earned me a batok from Lian if she were still here. I needed to do something, anything, to distract myself. The more idle I was, the more my mind wandered back to her.

Maybe I should review? But I didn’t even have a quiz tomorrow, and let’s be honest—kahit mag-aral ako ngayon, makakalimutan ko rin agad.

“Lord,” I muttered. “Help. Nababaliw na po ako. Give me a sign.”

As if the universe was listening, my phone vibrated. My heart jumped.

Cai:
Asta, I know this may be too much but can you check on Jazzi? May gagawin kami tomorrow pero hindi pa rin siya nagrereply sa akin. Pinuntahan ko na pero hindi ako pinagbubuksan. Please?

Napakurap ako. Ang galing talaga ni Cai pumili ng timing. Nakakainis—pero fine. If this was the sign, then I’d take it. Willingly. Hehe.

Without wasting a second, I booked a mototaxi and headed to Jazzi’s condo. Of course, I wouldn’t tell her that Cai asked me to check on her; baka pagalitan lang niya si Cai. Sasabihin ko na lang na dumalaw ako para sa pusa.

I knocked multiple times. No answer. But I knew she was inside. The lights were on, and I could hear faint movement. So why wasn’t she opening the door? Galit ba siya pati sa akin? Ang kapal naman ng mukha niya kung oo.

“Ano ba kasi—” Jazzi’s voice came sharp and irritated as she finally opened the door, but it softened the moment she saw me.

Even I was surprised. I’d never heard her raise her voice before. She was always calm, stoic—emotionless, even. Seeing her angry was jarring, but it also made her look... real. Vulnerable, somehow.

“I’m sorry,” she said, straightening her tone. “What do you need?”

“Our cat needs me,” I replied quickly. Then paused. “I mean… your cat.”

“Huh?” Jazzi blinked, confused, before stepping aside to let me in.

The moment I entered, the cat rushed to greet us. I scooped her up, smiling instinctively. But the smile faded as fast as it came. Because this—this little creature—was the reason Jazzi and I got close in the first place. She’d asked me to co-parent, to share responsibility, to share time. And stupidly, I thought it meant something more.

I knew Jazzi was a walking red flag, and yet, I still ran straight into her like a moth to flame. I pretended I was colorblind because I wanted her that badly. Because I liked her that much. But now... I didn’t know anymore.

“What are you saying, Asta?” Jazzi asked, brows knitting. “You won’t visit the cat anymore?”

I chuckled bitterly, shaking my head. “Sa tingin mo kapag nakita ako ni Samien na bumibisita sa condo mo dahil sa pusa natin, matutuwa siya?”

Jazzi froze, her lips parting slightly before she fell into silence.

“Jazzi,” I sighed, voice trembling. “Hibang ako sa ’yo, pero hindi ako tanga. Kung gusto mo talaga akong palayuin, sana sinabi mo na agad ‘yung tungkol kay Samien. Alam mong seryoso ako sa ’yo. Alam mong matalino akong tao. Isang salita mo lang—isang amin mo lang na may hinihintay ka, na may iba kang gusto—lalayo ako. Kasi alam mo na kaya kong lumayo kapag sinabi mong may iba ka. Pero bakit hindi mo ginawa?”

“Sinabihan kita, Asta,” she murmured.

“BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL ME DIRECTLY WHY YOU CAN’T LIKE ME BACK!” My voice cracked as it rose. “Palagi na lang—‘masasaktan ka lang,’ ‘lumayo ka na.’ Putangina, bakit ako lalayo kung ganon lang? I know myself, Jazzi. Alam kong kaya kitang pasiyahin, kahit pa unti-unti. Alam kong kaya kitang mapamahal.”

“Samien and I haven’t talked for many years,” she whispered, avoiding my gaze. “All we have is the promise we made together. Akala ko hindi na siya babalik.”

“Ang gulo mo,” I said, shaking my head. “So technically, hinihintay mo siya habang ini-entertain ako? Kasi takot kang aminin na baka wala ka pa lang hinihintay?”

“I never entertained you.”

“YOU DID, BULLSHIT!” My voice echoed through her condo, startling the cat from my arms. “Jazzi, hindi ako tanga—”

“Umalis ka na.”

The words hit harder than a slap. I froze, staring at her blank expression as she continued.

“If you’re mad at me, then I’m sorry. I’m sorry kung pinaasa kita. I’m sorry kung nasaktan ka. I’m sorry kung hindi ko kayang ibalik ‘yung nararamdaman mo. I’m sorry kung hanggang ngayon umaasa pa rin ako kay Samien. I’m sorry kung natapakan ko ‘yung feelings mo,” she said, voice breaking just slightly. “But I did that because we’re friends, Asta. I’m sorry kung hindi ko nalinaw ‘yon sa ’yo.”

My tears fell before I even realized it. She moved to pull me out of her condo, but I stopped her before she could close the door.

“So... you really love her?” I asked softly.

Jazzi nodded, her eyes distant, glassy. “Yes. Kahit nakalimutan niya ‘yung sinabi niya sa akin noon.”

And just like that, it felt like my world tilted—quietly, painfully—out of orbit.

Ito na talaga. Hindi na talaga ako makakapasok sa mundo niya.

Chapter Text

Since wala kaming pasok ngayon, napagpasyahan kong gumala kung saan-saan—kahit walang particular na pupuntahan. The day felt oddly long, too quiet for my liking. Lian went home to her house because, according to her, miss na raw siya ng family niya. She did invite me to come along, of course, but I refused. Alam ko kasing isasama rin niya si Cai, at baka puro harutan lang sila ro’n. Maiinggit lang ako habang ako, single and bitter, manonood ng live teleserye nila sa harap ko. No, thank you.

So instead, I wandered. I decided to stroll around the areas near the university—those small streets I always passed by but never really explored. Kahit ilang taon na akong nag-aaral dito, hindi ko pa rin masasabing kilala ko ang paligid. My life was a routine—bahay, school, bahay. Walang in-between. I never gave myself time to just exist outside the rush of deadlines and heartbreak.

As I walked, a quaint café caught my attention. The sign outside was handwritten in cursive, a little crooked but charming. I pushed the door open and smiled immediately. The place was cozy, warm, and smelled faintly of roasted coffee beans and cinnamon. The walls were covered in old maps, wooden ship wheels, and small model ships hanging from the ceiling. A “Pirates of the Caribbean” theme, apparently. Hindi naman ako mahilig sa pirata, but I couldn’t deny—it was cool. May effort. May personality.

I was busy admiring the decor when a calm voice spoke behind me.

“You need anything, miss?”

I spun around, startled—and froze.

It was Jazzi’s mom.

Not the “Azi” one, though. The other mom.

For a moment, my brain lagged. I hadn’t recognized her right away since the last time we met, she didn’t really introduce herself. She’d been polite but quiet during that awkward dinner. Now, seeing her like this—wearing a black polo shirt and a café apron—made me question everything. Was she… working here? But they were filthy rich. Did she own this place too?

“Ah… hello po,” I greeted, managing a small, polite smile.

She nodded slightly. Up close, I could really see where Jazzi got her looks—the calm eyes, the serene aura, that quiet intensity. Pero unlike Jazzi, her expression wasn’t intimidating. She was reserved, yes, but there was a warmth behind her composure. Like she spoke softly but carried certainty in her silence.

“You’re alone?” she asked, tilting her head a little. “Or are you waiting for someone?”

“I’m alone po,” I answered quickly. “I just saw the sign outside kaya pumasok ako. Ang cute kasi ng café niyo.”

She smiled faintly, almost amused. “Good. Sit down. I’ll give you our best seller here.”

I wanted to protest—baka libre ‘to—but the way she said it sounded more like a gentle command than an offer. So I just nodded and found a seat near the window. The café wasn’t crowded, just a few students quietly typing away on their laptops. It felt peaceful.

After a few minutes, she returned. This time, she no longer wore the apron. She set a cup of steaming coffee in front of me and sat across the table as if she’d decided we were about to have a proper conversation.

“Astherielle, right?” she asked, her tone even but knowing.

My stomach flipped. Oh no. Ito na ‘to. Sasabihan na ba niya akong layuan si Jazzi? Or worse—baka gusto niya akong suhulan ng isang milyon in exchange for staying away. I half-joked to myself, but the nervousness crept in anyway.

“Y-yes po,” I stammered, fidgeting slightly with the edge of the cup.

“If you’re free tomorrow evening,” she began casually, “would you like to join us for dinner? My wife misses your witty remarks. She actually asked Jazzi if she could invite you, but apparently, Jazzi refused.”

“Ah…” I looked down, unsure how to respond. The idea of seeing Jazzi again made my chest tighten. “Jazzi and I are not talking na po kasi. I think… it’s best if I refuse the invite too.”

There was a pause. A faint, knowing smile crossed her lips before she said, “I thought you were making her fall for you?”

I laughed softly, the sound dry and brittle. “That was before po,” I said, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. “How can I make someone fall for me if she’s already in love with someone else?”

Her gaze lingered on me for a moment, then she chuckled—a soft, motherly sound that somehow eased my tension. “I see,” she murmured. “I guess I need to talk to my daughter.”

“Papagalitan nyo po ba siya?” I asked quickly, worried. The last thing I wanted was for Jazzi to think I tattled on her.

“Don’t worry.” She stood, smoothing her shirt. “I’ll just knock some sense into her without dragging your name into it.” Then she winked, playful and composed all at once, before walking back toward the counter.

I couldn’t help but smile. Ang cool talaga ng parents niya. They knew exactly when to step in and how to handle things without making it messy. They were firm but gentle—discipline with grace. No wonder Jazzi turned out the way she did: calm, distant, complex… but deep down, full of love she didn’t quite know how to give.

And for some reason, that realization made my heart ache a little more.

Hindi ko pa rin gets. Kahit anong pilit kong i-convince ang sarili kong tapos na, na wala na talaga, may parte pa rin sa akin na umaasa. Umaasang kahit papaano, Jazzi would still look my way. I knew she saw me—she always did. Hindi man niya sabihin nang direkta, alam kong alam niya. The way her eyes lingered when she thought I wasn’t paying attention, the way her tone softened when it was me she was talking to. Hindi ko ‘yon imagination lang. She noticed me. She knew what I felt.

At mas lalong hindi ko matanggap na parang ako lang ang may naramdaman.

Alam kong kahit kaunti, may naramdaman din siya. Dahil kung wala… bakit? Why can she be sweet to me when she’s not even fond of people? Why does she let me get away with my nonsense, even when it’s clear she prefers peace and quiet? Why does she accept me during the moments she can’t bear to let anyone else in?

Friends my ass.

Kung simpleng kaibigan lang ako, bakit niya kailangang maging gano’n? Bakit niya kailangang magbigay ng gestures na walang kasiguraduhan? Hindi ba niya alam kung gaano kasakit ‘yung ganitong confusion?

Everything I did for her—every small thing, every effort, every late-night message—was because I admired her. Genuinely. But she paid me back with this vague, frustrating warmth that felt too intimate to be friendly, yet too cold to be romantic. Parang laging almost, pero hindi kailanman enough.

Bakit ba kasi ako umaasa sa taong ayaw naman sa akin? This is exactly my type right? Funny how it pained me so much.

I was drowning in my thoughts when my phone suddenly beeped, pulling me back to reality. Irritated, I fished it out of my pocket and checked. Mau’s name flashed on the screen.

Mau:
Nasaan ka? Tara labas. I’m with Gene’s girlfriend now. She wants to meet you too. Sabi ko ikaw ‘yung patay na patay kay Jazzi.

Napairap ako. Pati ba naman sa jowa ni Gene, Mau? Hindi na talaga siya marunong mahiya. The way this girl loved exposing my emotional damage as if it was her party trick never failed to irritate me.

I typed back my location, half-regretting it. She told me to stay put since she’d come over instead. Fine. Wala na rin naman akong energy to move. My feet hurt from walking aimlessly, and maybe—just maybe—I was secretly grateful for the distraction.

A few minutes later, Mau arrived. Alone. She was grinning from ear to ear, the kind of smile na halatang may kalokohan o magandang balita. She dropped beside me on the chair, practically bouncing in her seat.

“Syrah agreed to go out with me next week!” she announced proudly, her grin widening. “I swear, Asta, she’s not like every girl in the university. She’s sweet, gentle, and she’s funny as fk.” Mau broke into a laugh that made a few people glance our way.

“Bunganga mo naman,” I muttered, rolling my eyes but failing to hide a small smile. “Nasaan na ‘yung kasama mo?”

“Ah. She bought something.” Mau shrugged. “May nakita kasi siyang dalawang bata sa daan, binilhan niya lang ng something.”

Napataas ang kilay ko at agad akong tumayo. “Iniwan mo?”

“Why?” she blinked, clueless. “Sabi niya mauna na ako kasi baka naghihintay ka.”

“Gago, Mau. Alam mong hindi taga-rito ‘yon!” I snapped, already scanning the street. How could she leave a stranger—Gene’s girlfriend, no less—alone in a place she didn’t even know?

Without waiting for a reply, I walked off, searching around the nearby stalls and sidewalks. I didn’t even know what she looked like, but I searched anyway, trusting instinct more than logic.

Then I saw her.

Two little kids stood in front of her, their faces lighting up as she handed them paper bags of food. They thanked her with bright smiles before running off, leaving her laughing softly, almost shyly.

And that voice—it was familiar. Too familiar.

My heart started pounding painfully in my chest. The world seemed to slow down as she turned around, and in that single moment, everything inside me cracked open.

“Samien,” I breathed, barely recognizing my own voice.

She blinked, surprised. “You know me?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. “Oh, you’re the girl na kasama ni Jazzi sa office, right?”

My stomach twisted. My throat went dry. “And you are… Gene’s girlfriend?”

She smiled, clueless, innocent. “Yeah. Why?”

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my face steady even as my insides screamed.

Why? Because you’re the reason Jazzi couldn’t love me back.

Because you’re the ghost she kept waiting for.

Because you’re the promise she never broke.

And now, here you are—real, breathing, smiling right in front of me—like the final punchline to the cruelest joke the universe ever told.

Fuck.

Chapter Text

Surprised.

No, that wasn’t even close. More like completely dumbfounded.

Hanggang ngayon, kahit ilang ulit ko nang binalikan sa isip ko, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa lahat ng nalaman ko ngayong araw. The details refused to settle in my brain, like a puzzle that didn’t want to fit no matter how much I forced the pieces together.

Jazzi was waiting for Samien.

And Samien—of all people—turned out to be Gene’s girlfriend.

The moment the realization hit me, my stomach twisted. Did Jazzi know about it all along? Was that the reason behind the sharp edge in her tone lately? Kaya ba siya naging irritable sa kahit anong bagay—because Samien finally confessed the truth? Pero kung ganon, bakit hindi sinabi agad ni Gene? Didn’t she know that Jazzi and Samien had something before—a “promise,” a bond that obviously meant more than it should’ve? Or maybe, just maybe, Samien never told Gene about Jazzi. Maybe she buried it the way people bury mistakes they don’t want to relive.

I remembered how Samien froze last time, the instant her gaze landed on Jazzi inside the student council office. The look on her face wasn’t just surprise—it was shock. Like seeing a ghost you weren’t ready to confront. Was she actually there to surprise Gene but ended up running into Jazzi instead? My head throbbed. Ano ba ‘to, karma o teleserye?

“Tangina,” I muttered under my breath, pressing my fingers against my temple as if I could massage the chaos out of my mind.

It was only then that I remembered where I was—still seated at the café table with Mau and Samien, my untouched drink sweating on the wooden surface. The air around us felt heavy, tense, like a storm cloud waiting to explode. Everything was a blur, a tangled mess of feelings I didn’t even sign up for. I just wanted out. Out of this situation, out of this twisted circle that wasn’t mine to begin with.

I didn’t want to be part of their drama. Hindi ko gustong maipit sa gulo ng tatlong taong clearly still figuring out their own hearts.

All I wanted was Jazzi—her smile, her warmth, her quiet ways that somehow drew me in without even trying. I just wanted her to be mine, plain and simple. But if I couldn’t have that… fine. Edi bahala na. I’d rather step back than be swallowed whole by a story I didn’t belong in.

Still, no matter how hard I tried to detach myself, my mind kept circling back to Jazzi. I couldn’t stop wondering what she was feeling right now. Was she hurt? Of course, she was. She’d been waiting for Samien, after all. Waiting for someone who had already chosen someone else.

“Samien, you should tell your parents to visit us soon,” Jazzi’s mom said with a gentle smile, her tone fond and motherly. Samien nodded politely, the familiarity between them almost painful to watch.

Halatang matagal na silang magkakilala. You could see it in the small gestures—the comfortable way Samien smiled back, the easy rhythm of their conversation.

And somehow, that familiarity made everything worse.

Should I ask her about it? About what really happened between her and Jazzi? Pero ayokong madamay. I didn’t want to make things worse.
And yet, the curiosity burned quietly inside me like a fever I couldn’t shake off. What the hell. Ano bang pinasok ko?

“You okay, Asta?” Mau’s voice broke through the noise in my head. I must’ve zoned out again.

“Jazzi told me about you,” Samien said, sipping her hot coffee before setting the cup down with a soft clink. “No wonder Tita Azi adores you so much. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, and you’re easy to be with pa.”

The compliment rolled off her tongue so easily it almost irritated me. Hindi ko alam kung genuine ba.

“Kailan pa kayo naging kayo ni Gene?” I asked, sharper than I intended.

“Asta…” Mau warned softly, her eyes flicking toward me. She already knew where this was going, knew how dangerous this territory was.
But I didn’t care. Hindi ko na kayang magpanggap na walang alam, na hindi ako naaapektuhan.

“A month,” Samien said after a beat, smiling faintly as if this were just small talk. “Pero we’ve been talking for eight months already. Why?”

I leaned back on my chair, arms crossed. “Did you tell her about Jazzi?”

Ayoko nang paligoy-ligoy pa. I needed the truth, even if it would sting. Otherwise, I was going to lose my mind trying to piece together half-truths.

“No…” Her voice softened, her eyes darting away from mine.

Of course. Of course, she didn’t.

“Teka, anong meron sa kanila ni Jazzi?” Mau’s brow furrowed, clearly lost in the storm that was slowly forming between us.

“Jazzi and I are childhood friends. That’s it,” Samien said, her sigh barely audible, like she was exhaling a secret she’d been keeping too long. “I told her that when we grow up, I’d marry her. But I was young back then. I didn’t mean it.”

I stared at her for a long time, letting her words sink in, letting them twist and twist until they started to hurt. So that was it? Jazzi held onto that childish promise all these years—clung to it like a lifeline while the other person had already moved on, forgotten, maybe even laughed it off.

Ang tanga niya.

Pero sino ba ako para manghusga? Hindi ko alam ang naramdaman niya. Maybe she just wanted to believe that someone, somewhere, once chose her.

“But Jazzi held onto it, you know that?” I said quietly, stirring my milk tea with the straw, watching the small whirlpool form at the center. “She waited for you.”

“Asta. Enough.” Mau’s tone cut through the air, her glare firm, but her eyes were soft—like she knew this wasn’t just about curiosity anymore. Like she could see through me.

“I know you’re mad because you like Jazzi,” Samien continued, her voice steady but gentle. “But trust me, Asta, it was an empty promise we made. The last time we talked, we were only fifteen. I was abroad. I left my phone for a few minutes to change, and when I came back, she never replied again. I didn’t even know what she heard or what she thought she knew. All I knew was that she stopped talking to me. And I… didn’t chase after her. Back then, I didn’t know what I meant to her, but in my mind, we were just friends. Just friends.”

There it was again. That cursed word. Friends.
How convenient it was, how people used it to soften things that once meant more. To erase the traces of something they didn’t want to admit.

“So, you mean to tell me that you and Jazzi knew each other even before?” Mau asked, leaning back against her chair, arms folded. “Hindi man lang ba nagkwento si Gene sa ‘yo?”

Her tone carried disbelief, tinged with irritation—like she was realizing just how much of a mess this had all become.

“Gene mentioned her once,” Samien said, shaking her head slowly. “But I didn’t know na siya ‘yon. Gene never really talks about her life. She’s composed, mysterious… and that’s what I like about her.”

Her words hit harder than I wanted them to. ‘That’s what I like about her.’

I wanted to laugh. Or maybe cry. Because in that moment, everything finally made sense. The puzzle I’d been trying to solve all day suddenly fit together, cruelly, perfectly.

So that was why Jazzi changed.

Her mom once told me that Jazzi used to be bright—always smiling, always surrounded by people. A kid full of warmth and laughter. But something in her broke along the way. She became quiet, distant, cold. And now I knew why.

She found out what Samien liked. And she tried—God, she really tried—to become that person.
She reshaped herself for a love that wasn’t even certain.

Wow.
Tangina.
Ang sakit non.

She thought maybe if she became calmer, quieter, more composed—maybe then Samien would notice her.

But love doesn’t work like that. It’s not a shape you can twist yourself into.

And now I couldn’t even tell if I was angry at Jazzi or heartbroken for her.

“Damn,” Mau muttered, breaking the silence. “Alam na ba ni Gene ‘to?”

“Jazzi told me not to tell Gene anymore,” Samien replied, shoulders slumping as if the weight of it finally pressed down. “But I’m planning to, once she comes back. I don’t want to hide anything from my girlfriend.” She paused. “Is Jazzi okay?”

“Ayun, nanay oh. Tanungin mo,” Mau said, pointing toward Jazzi’s mom, who was chatting with someone near the counter.

“Let’s give her time,” I murmured. “Masakit din ‘yon para sa kanya.”

“Pero mas masakit para sa ‘yo,” Mau said, and for a moment, her tone shifted. There was no teasing now. Just quiet sincerity.

Her words caught me off guard. I looked at her, surprised. Himala—seryoso siya ngayon? For once, she wasn’t joking, and I didn’t know what to do with that.

But before the moment could linger, she smirked and added, “Alam mo, kung type lang kita, liligawan kita e.”

I rolled my eyes. “Kung type mo ‘ko, edi sana hindi kita pinapansin ngayon, siraulo.”

Samien chuckled softly, watching us. “Jazzi must be lucky to have friends like you.”

“Yeah,” I said, forcing a small smile.

Friends.

That damn word again.

Who even came up with that label? Sweet, clingy, acts like she’s in love with you—but then you’re supposed to accept friends? She made me her co-parent to a cat, shared her mornings and late nights, let me sit on her lap when she didn’t like anyone touching her… and then decided that’s all we were?

I wanted to scream. Or throw something. Or both.

“Do you still like Jazzi?” Mau asked suddenly, her chin resting on her palm as she blinked at me like a kid waiting for gossip.

I wanted to poke her eyes out. “Hindi ko alam,” I said truthfully.

Because I didn’t.

My mind kept telling me to stay away, to protect myself from more pain. But my heart—stupid, relentless heart—kept whispering otherwise.

There were still so many days ahead, so many things that could happen. Maybe someday, I’d finally be able to let her go. Or maybe, I’d find myself falling again despite everything.

Jazzi is in pain. But I am too.

For now, I just wanted to breathe.

And maybe, to heal.

Chapter Text

A few days passed, and still, Jazzi and I hadn’t talked. Not a single glance, not a single word. Every time she walked past me, may kung anong kumikirot sa dibdib ko—parang ako pa ‘yung may kasalanan, even if I knew I wasn’t the one who started all this distance.

She seemed fine now. She could talk to Gene again, smile with Mau, even share quiet talks with Cai. Pero sa akin? Wala. Nothing.
It was like I had turned into a ghost—someone who used to exist in her orbit but now, barely a flicker of memory.

It’s not like I was expecting her to go back to her usual self either. Hindi ko naman hinihinging bumalik siya sa dati. Pero sana man lang, kahit hindi niya ako pansinin, hindi ganito kabigat ‘yung pakiramdam sa tuwing dumadaan siya. The air would thicken, my chest would tighten, and suddenly every smile she shared with someone else would sound like a punishment.

I wondered if Samien really told Gene about her and Jazzi. Maybe she did. Maybe Jazzi finally accepted it—that everything between them had ended long ago.
And me? I was still here, stuck in the middle of emotions I didn’t know how to sort out.

Parang ako ‘yung tanga na naiwan sa gitna ng kalsada habang lahat ng tao naglalakad na palayo.

I tried. God knows how much I tried. I told myself to stop caring, to move on, to stop thinking about her voice, her laugh, her cold little smirk that used to drive me insane. Pero habang nasa iisang unibersidad kami, habang nakikita ko pa rin siya sa parehong hallway, I don’t think I ever really could.

How could she even do that? How could she look so unaffected, so normal, while I was here—barely keeping myself together?

“Malapit na ang midnight masquerade, may date ka na ba?” Lian asked, scrolling through her phone like she wasn’t aware na parang gusto ko nang magtago sa ilalim ng kama. “Cai asked me na.”

I groaned. “Hindi ko tinanong.”

She laughed and walked over, hugging me from behind like the clingy little devil she was. “Hindi naman ‘yon ibig kong sabihin. Si Mike, wala ring date. He’s waiting for you.”

“Tigilan mo nga ako sa wait-wait na term na ‘yan.” I peeled her arms off me, but she only laughed harder.

“Alam mo ba,” she continued, eyes gleaming, “kapag daw rank 1 ka ng department ninyo, kailangan mong kadate rank 1 din.”

“Wala akong paki,” I muttered, turning back to my notes. “Hindi naman ako rank 1.”

I tried to read, but not a single word registered. My pen hovered above my notebook, useless, while Lian continued to hum beside me. “Kung aalis ka mamaya, pwedeng ngayon na? Kanina ka pa nanggugulo, nagre-review ako. May quiz ako mamaya, ang gulo mo.”

She only laughed again before finally leaving.
Peace at last.

Since I stopped hanging out at the SC office—because honestly, I couldn’t stand running into her there—wala na akong ibang pinupuntahan kundi dorm. We were allowed to go out anytime naman since malapit lang ang dorm sa university. Not exactly next door, but walkable enough.

And walking was better. I’d rather walk in circles outside than sit somewhere and risk seeing her again. Baka mamiss ko lang siya nang tuluyan, at tuluyan ding bumalik lahat ng pilit kong nilulunok na damdamin.

I kept telling myself this was my self-love era.
No more chasing. No more hoping. No more falling for people who only saw me halfway.

When the clock struck 2PM, I packed my things and got ready for class. I even smiled—gaslighting myself that I was fine, that I could live a normal day without her. Kaya ko ‘to. Kaya kong walang kinukulit, walang binubulabog, walang—

My phone buzzed.
An unregistered number.

Great. Probably another scam, or worse—utang collector.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon. Is this Ms. Astherielle—?”

“Yes, speaking.”

“Ma’am, this is Nurse Liza from Alonzo Medical Center. I’m calling to inform you that a patient named Jazzi Rivera was brought here a few minutes ago due to an accident.”

For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.

“Wait—what?” My voice cracked. “An accident? What happened to her?”

“She was in a minor car accident, ma’am. She’s conscious, but we’re still running some tests to make sure she’s stable.”

“Oh my God…” My heart started pounding, fast and uneven. My throat went dry.

But wait—bakit ako ang tinatawagan?

“Wait lang—why are you calling me? I mean, I’m not—” I swallowed hard. “I’m not her family.”

“We couldn’t find any ID on her, ma’am,” the nurse explained, calm but firm. “We checked her phone, and your number was saved as her emergency contact… and also on her speed dial. That’s why we reached out to you.”

My brain went blank.

Her emergency contact? Her speed dial? Ako?

Of all people—ako?

Gago ba siya? Sira na talaga ulo ng isang ‘yon.

“Her… speed dial?” I asked, barely above a whisper.

“Yes, ma’am. Would you be able to come to the hospital? She’s been asking for you.”

My grip on my phone tightened, my heartbeat loud in my ears. “I—yeah, I’ll be there. Please just… make sure she’s okay.”

“Of course, ma’am. We’ll take care of her. You can proceed to the emergency room when you arrive.”

“Thank you,” I said faintly. “I’m on my way.”

When the call ended, the world around me blurred. My thoughts spiraled into one loop—Her emergency contact.

What the hell did that even mean?

Why me?

By the time I got to the hospital, I was half-running toward the ER. My pulse wouldn’t calm down. I thought she’d be unconscious, bruised, hooked to IV lines.

Instead, she was there—sitting. Reading.
Calm. Completely fine.

“The hell?” I snapped, snatching the book from her hands. “Ano bang trip mo sa buhay?”

She just looked at me, unfazed. That same expressionless face that used to drive me mad.

“Where’s your phone?” I demanded.

“I don’t know,” she said simply, shaking her head.

I stared at her, utterly dumbfounded. She looked fine—no cast, nothing. Except na lang sa konting gasgas sa katawan at mukha niya. Pero tangina, umabsent pa ako sa quiz ko para dito? I skipped class. I ran here because I thought something terrible happened.

“Change your emergency contact, Jazzi,” I blurted, throwing my hands in the air. “Wala akong oras para sa ‘yo!”

I turned to leave, but her voice—soft, low—stopped me.

“But you’re here.”

I froze.

For a second, I almost forgot how to speak.

“Because—” I started, then stopped.

Why was I here?

If I really didn’t care, I would’ve ignored that call.

But I did.

Because no matter how hard I tried, I always came running back to her.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I don’t have my parents’ number saved on my phone.”

“Bakit hindi na lang sila Cai? Si Mau?”

“Hindi rin nakasave.”

“Si Samien?” I asked, forcing the name out even though it hurt like hell.

“I deleted her number.”

My jaw tightened. “So… sino lang nakasave sa ‘yo?”

“Ikaw.”

The word landed like a punch to the gut. I fell silent. My chest felt tight. I didn’t know what to say—what to even feel.

“Call your parents,” I muttered, turning away. “I need to leave.”

Jazzi didn’t stop me. Of course she didn’t. How could she, when she was half-injured? But even if she could… I knew she wouldn’t.

She never did. Not once.

And maybe that was what hurt the most.

Because all I ever wanted—was for her to chase me, just once.

But she never would.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“At bakit ngayon ka lang?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Mau suddenly appeared right in front of me, blocking my path like some kind of ghost that learned how to talk.

“Bwiset ka, Mau,” I muttered under my breath, clutching my bag tighter. Kita niyang tulala ako, bigla akong ginulat. Talagang pampataas ng blood pressure ‘tong babae na ‘to.

“Tabi. May quiz ako.”

“Kanino?” she asked, easily matching my pace as she followed me down the hallway like a shadow that refused to mind its own business.

“Kay Ms. Saavedra. At kapag bumagsak ako ro’n, sasakalin talaga kita.” I rolled my eyes, quickening my steps.

“Eh ‘di ba umalis sila kasama si Mr. Lazaro?” Mau tilted her head, brows scrunched together. “May laban ‘yung mga kino-coach nila ngayon, e.”

I froze mid-step, her words taking a full second to register before I whipped my head toward her and smacked her shoulder.

“Bakit hindi mo sinabi agad?!”

“NAGTANONG KA BA?!” she yelled back, immediately stepping away like she already anticipated another hit coming her way.

I groaned. Todo review pa naman ako kanina! And for what? Wala naman palang klase!

“Pero saan ka nga galing?” she asked again, voice softening this time.

I hesitated. I trusted Mau — I always did. She was kind, lighthearted, the kind of person who didn’t let the world weigh her down. But that was exactly why I didn’t want to drag her into my mess. She didn’t deserve to carry the kind of sadness I’ve been nursing lately.

“Wala,” I muttered instead and headed straight for the cafeteria. Since wala naman pala kaming quiz, might as well use the time to sit and breathe. Sayang lang ‘yung lakad ko. At ‘yung pamasahe papunta sa hospital. Tangina talaga ni Jazzi.

“Sabihin mo na,” Mau insisted as she sat across from me, chin resting on her hand. “Para naman akong others dito oh.”

I glanced up at her. She was smiling, eyes bright like she didn’t have a single problem in the world. She looked younger than she actually was. She’s only a year younger than me, but sometimes she felt years away from my kind of exhaustion.

“Fine,” I sighed, finally surrendering. “I went to the hospital. Jazzi had an accident.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “And then?”

“‘And then?’” I repeated, incredulous. “Hindi ka man lang ba mag-aalala sa kaibigan mo?”

“I know,” Mau said easily, leaning back. “Sinabi na ni Gene sa akin kanina. Her lolo called.”

“Lolo?” I echoed.

Mau chuckled, clearly amused. “Lolo ni Jazzi may-ari ng hospital, Asta. Kaya kahit hindi namin siya puntahan agad, we know she’ll be fine.”

Agad akong napahinto. My jaw clenched as realization hit. So all that emergency contact drama was a joke? A fucking lie?

“But kanina narinig ko si Tita Azi sa call,” Mau added, laughter bubbling out of her again. “Pinapagalitan si Jazzi kasi ikaw raw nasa emergency contact. Ano raw ba tingin ni Jazzi sa kanila? Display?”

I couldn’t help it — I laughed too. Not because it was funny, but because I could perfectly imagine the scene. Tita Azi scolding Jazzi, hands on her waist, while Jazzi just stood there in silence, probably pretending not to care.

“But seriously, Asta…” Mau’s tone softened, her laughter fading. “Stop putting Jazzi at the center of everything.”

I blinked. The sudden seriousness in her voice caught me off guard.

“I know how much you like her,” she continued, looking at me with that rare hint of concern, “but please — focus on yourself first.”

I turned away, pretending to fix something on my tray. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t used to Mau being serious; it almost felt like I was about to be scolded.

“She has me,” she said quietly. “She has Cai. Nandiyan din parents niya para sa kanya.” Mau tapped the table, prompting me to meet her gaze. “Alagaan mo muna sarili mo, okay? Tapos alagaan mo rin ako.”

“Gago,” I muttered, rolling my eyes — though a smile threatened to escape.

She burst out laughing, loud enough that a few students looked our way.

“Sana marinig ka ni Syrah,” I teased.

“Baliw! Siya nga nagsabi niyan sa akin, e!” Mau’s grin widened, her eyes softening at the mention of her crush. “Buong gabi akong kinikilig, kamo.”

I shook my head, pretending to gag. “Sa una lang ‘yan masaya. Tingnan mo ‘ko. Ang yabang ko pa noon.”

“Ibahin mo si Syrah,” she said with a small shrug, the corners of her lips curling into a knowing smile. “Wala siyang hinihintay na iba.”

I reached for the tissue holder and aimed it at her, ready to throw — but she was already up and running, laughing her heart out as she disappeared past the door.

I leaned back in my chair, shaking my head. Despite everything — despite the ache, the confusion, the lingering weight that Jazzi left behind — I felt a bit lighter. Mau had that effect on people. She didn’t erase the sadness, but somehow she made it bearable.

I sighed, staring at the quiet cafeteria.

When will I be able to take care of myself first, I thought, without thinking about Jazzi?

Chapter Text

"Sumama ka na!" Lian whined as she tried to drag me out of bed, her hands gripping my blanket like her life depended on it.

I was sprawled across my mattress, still in my oversized shirt, pretending to be deeply invested in the book I was holding—kahit kanina pa ako nasa parehong pahina. She’s been trying to convince me to join them later sa KTV, for reasons I still didn’t know. Hindi naman niya birthday. Wala rin namang may birthday sa kanila. Pero kung makapag-aya sila, akala mo walang bayad ang lahat sa mundo.

Palibhasa mga mapera.

"Libre ka nga namin," she said, voice dripping with desperation. She finally gave up tugging at me and flopped beside me with a dramatic sigh. "Hahayaan mo ba akong mag-isa ro’n?"

I didn’t even glance at her. "For sure nandoon si Cai."

"But you’re my best friend!" Lian protested, glaring at me as if guilt-tripping me would work this time. "Sige na, minsan lang ‘to. Hindi ka naman laging sumasama."

"Sino-sino ba kasi mga kasama ninyo?" I asked lazily, eyes still on my book though I wasn’t really reading.

"Si Cai... si Mau... si Syrah," she listed, then hesitated. "Iyon lang."

"What about Gene?"

"May pupuntahan daw sila ni Samien," she replied, her tone casual, but I caught the flicker of understanding in her eyes.

I nodded slowly. I didn’t bother asking about Jazzi anymore. Hindi pa siya okay, and for sure, hindi rin naman siya papasamahin ni Lian. Pero sa totoo lang, may kirot pa rin sa dibdib ko. It felt like every time I said no to hanging out, I was unconsciously pulling myself away from them—her friends, our circle. Dahil parang inaagaw ko sila sa kanya kahit wala naman akong karapatan.

"I’ll stay, Li," I said softly, closing my book and forcing a small smile.

Lian frowned, her lips tugging into a pout before she nodded. Hindi na siya nagpilit this time, maybe because she knew I wasn’t in the right headspace. She stood, fixed her hair in the mirror, and grabbed her bag.

Yes, I wanted to distract myself. But no matter how much I tried, Jazzi’s name lingered like an echo in my mind—persistent, uninvited. I didn’t know how to silence it. Masyado ba akong OA for feeling this way when... we were never even together? Maybe I was only smart in academics, but when it came to emotions, parang lagi akong bobo.

"Asta," Lian said as she leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "Message me kapag nagbago isip mo ha? Susunduin ka namin."

I nodded. "Ingat ka, Li."

When she left, the silence in the room felt heavier. My chest ached with a kind of emptiness that no sleep could fix. What should I do now? Sleep? Think about Jazzi again? Like always?

My eyes fell to my phone on the nightstand. The screen lit up with her contact name: Jazzi Wifey. I laughed bitterly. It sounded ridiculous now. Back then, it was just a joke between us—but now, it felt like a reminder of everything I couldn’t have.

I tossed the phone aside and tried to close my eyes, but even sleep refused to come. Every quiet second turned into her voice. Every thought drifted back to her.

"One message won’t hurt," I whispered to myself, convincing myself more than anyone else.

But before I could even open our chat, my phone buzzed. A call from an unregistered number. My heart jumped—baka sa hospital na naman. Agad akong napabalikwas at sinagot ito.

"Hello?"

"Hi, sweetie. Thank God you’re awake," a woman’s voice said warmly. Jazzi’s mom. "Do you have a second? Can we talk?"

"Through phone po ba? I can go there naman po," I offered, already sitting up straighter.

"You sure? Ipapasundo kita kay Jace."

Jace. The name rang a bell. Probably Jazzi’s other mom.

"Saan po ba?"

"Alam mo ba ‘yung newly built café malapit sa school ninyo?"

"Yes po," I replied, already standing to grab a jacket.

"Okay. See me there."

The line cut, and before I knew it, I was rushing to fix myself. I didn’t even know why I felt... excited? Maybe it was because Tita Azi’s energy was so comforting—she carried this warmth that Jazzi often refused to show. She made me feel at ease, even when her daughter kept throwing my world into chaos.

By the time I arrived at the café, she was already there, chatting with the baristas and laughing like she’d known them forever. When she noticed me, she waved, her smile so genuine it almost startled me. If that was how she smiled at everyone, then the people around her were incredibly lucky.

"You okay?" she asked gently as I took the seat across from her. "I’m sorry for calling you this late. You were probably resting already."

I shook my head. "It’s okay po. Hindi rin naman ako makatulog."

She exhaled, as if she’d been thinking of how to start. "Hindi na ako magpapaligoy-ligoy pa. I need to take Jazzi abroad. But she’s hesitant to leave since ayaw niyang iwan ang council."

My brows furrowed. "Gene’s good naman po."

"Yeah," she agreed, "but Gene can’t be president. She has a lot going on outside the council. I tried talking to the others, pero ayaw rin ng adviser nila." She sighed deeply, exhaustion lacing her tone. "Their adviser actually recommended you. He said he’ll guide you, and besides—ikaw naman palagi niyang kasama, so you’re already familiar with the work."

I chuckled nervously. "But that’s not how it works po. It’s... it’s a heavy responsibility."

Truth is, I didn’t want it. Because if accepting meant helping Jazzi leave, then I wanted nothing to do with it.

Tangina naman. Tatakasan niya lahat ng iniwan niyang kagaguhan dito? No way. If she’s struggling to face people, then she should deal with it—like I did.

Tita Azi must’ve noticed the conflict in my expression, because she only smiled faintly. "Okay. Hindi na kita pipilitin."

"Bakit niyo po siya kailangan dalhin abroad?" I asked carefully.

She looked down for a moment before answering. "She needs a new environment, Asta. Something... different."

My throat tightened. "Nasaan po siya ngayon?"

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Call me stupid for showing up here again—for choosing to see her when every part of me knew it would only hurt. But maybe, this was the only way to end my suffering. To finally close the door I kept forcing open.

This wasn’t what I envisioned for us. Hindi ganito ka-toxic. We used to be... good with each other. We used to tease, fight, and somehow still circle back. Kahit pa ayaw na ayaw niya sa akin, may kung anong unspoken rhythm kami noon. But now, everything just felt heavy.

"Asta."

Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Jazzi was sitting up on her hospital bed, pale but still impossibly beautiful in that infuriating way she always was. She looked at me like she couldn’t decide if she was surprised or tired. "Why are you here?"

Because I miss you.

Because I still wake up with your name in my throat. Because I can’t stop caring even when I should.

That’s how fucking stupid I was now.

"Tell me why I should accept the position you’re offering," I said instead, tone sharp to hide the ache beneath it.

"Position?" She blinked, clearly confused. "Actually, I wasn’t offering it to anyone. Ayokong umalis."

"Then why don’t you tell your parents that?"

"It’s not that simple." Jazzi’s eyes darted away. "They think I need to clear my mind. I..." She hesitated, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her blanket. "These past few days, puro bad decision ‘yung nagagawa ko. I wasn’t myself. And they thought it was better to start again somewhere else."

"So what, aalis ka na lang?"

"I told you, ayoko." Her voice cracked a little—barely, but I caught it. "I want to fix everything, Asta. But I don’t know where to start."

There was a strange calmness in her now. No sarcasm. No half-meant jokes. Just a raw sincerity that made me uneasy.

"First, my friendship with Gene," she continued. "Although alam kong okay na kami, I know nagkaroon ng gap sa aming dalawa. And second..."

"What?" I asked, tilting my head when she didn’t continue.

She finally looked at me, and for once, her gaze didn’t flinch. "I want to apologize to you. For being such a jerk."

It took a second for her words to sink in. I almost laughed—finally, sincere words from her na hindi ako sinisisi for how I felt. What the hell did she eat this time and why did her brain suddenly start working right?

"If you want to apologize, then do it. But prove it with your actions," I said quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat.

I wasn’t expecting anything. Alam ko namang kahit mag-sorry siya, it wouldn’t change the ending. She still wouldn’t choose me. But at least, maybe we could stop pretending we were strangers. Maybe we could stop avoiding each other like we were both running from ghosts.

"I’m sorry, Asta." Her voice softened, trembling slightly. "I took your love for granted. But I’m thankful too... kasi you saw the real me—and yet you still stayed." She sighed, a shaky breath that sounded like release. "But I was wondering... would I still be your type if I wasn’t like that?"

I looked at her—really looked. The way her lips trembled as she spoke, the faint bruise under her eye, the thin line of pain behind her smile.

"You're my type because you don’t like me," I admitted, almost laughing at how absurd that sounded. "But I fell for you because you’re you. Kahit anong attitude ipakita mo sa akin, I would still accept it." My voice faltered. "Because that’s how you love, Jazzi. You don’t have to change anyone just to fit your world. You love them for who they are. So next time—if you fall for someone—don’t change yourself just to fit theirs."

She nodded slowly, the corner of her mouth twitching into a faint, tired smile. "Thank you for giving me your time tonight."

"I always do," I muttered, forcing a small laugh. "Masyado ka lang kasing focus kay Samien kaya hindi mo napapansin."

I turned to leave, already preparing to carry my shattered pride home again, when her voice stopped me.

"Asta."

I froze.

"Ingat ka."

It was simple. Just two words. But it hit deeper than I expected. If she’d said that before—before I found out about Samien—I would’ve been giddy, probably smiling like an idiot. But now... now it only made my chest tighten until it hurt to breathe.

"Jazzi..." I whispered, summoning the last ounce of courage I had. "Will you love me if Samien is out of the picture?"

Jazzi’s gaze softened, her eyes flickering with something unreadable—something I wanted to believe was longing. "Hindi ka mahirap mahalin, Asta," she said gently. "In case you forgot, there are many men lining up for you."

"Yes or no lang," I insisted.

"If I say yes," she murmured, "I’d only give you false hope. But if I say no, you’ll doubt yourself." A sad smile curved her lips. "Ang sarap mong magmahal, Asta. Sa maling tao mo lang talaga nabigay."

Her words tore something open in me. My tears spilled before I could stop them. "Then can’t you be the right person?!" My voice broke, raw and shaking.

Jazzi stood up, slow and careful, and walked toward me. Then she pulled me into her arms. Her hand caressed my back in gentle, steady strokes—the kind that only made it hurt more.

Tangina. Kahit anong gawin ko, tumitiklop pa rin ako sa kanya.

"I don’t deserve you," she whispered, her breath warm against my hair. "Not now. I need to heal... and you should too. Hindi pa ako handa, Asta. And I don’t want to give you a chance just because I was rejected."

"Jaz..."

"You deserve the person who can give you the world," she said again, her arms tightening around me as if she knew I was about to crumble. "But right now... it’s not me."

My throat burned. My heart felt like it was tearing itself apart, piece by piece.

Fuck the world.

I didn’t need it. I never wanted it.

I never wanted the world. I only wanted her.

Chapter Text

"WELCOME BACK!" the council officers chorused the moment Jazzi stepped into the office.

She was finally back. Back to business. Ilang araw din siyang na-confine sa hospital for several tests, but now that she was discharged, she insisted on returning right away to finish her work. That was so Jazzi—stubbornly dedicated even after being bedridden for days.

While she was gone, I had been helping Gene handle council tasks. The Midnight Masquerade was barely a week away, and until now, the planning wasn’t even close to done. Some of our sponsors had suddenly backed out, leaving everything in chaos.

"Thanks, guys," Jazzi said, smiling at everyone.

Her aura was different now. Radiant, almost. Hindi na siya ‘yung dating parang laging may dalang ulap sa ulo. She wasn’t gloomy anymore, and for the first time, she didn’t seem intimidating.

"Glad you’re back," I said, smiling awkwardly.

After that conversation we had that night, things between us felt lighter. Tama nga ako. I just needed to talk to her—really talk—to make peace with everything. Even if part of me still ached, even if I still wanted to hold on to what I felt… she was right. We needed to heal first. There was still so much ahead of us.

"Who’s glad?" Jazzi teased, raising a brow.

"Me. I’m glad you’re back," I said, chuckling softly.

She laughed, then reached out to tousle my hair like I was some kid. "Anyway, since you’re here..." Her tone suddenly darkened, shifting from warmth to pure authority. "May ipapagawa ako. Bakit hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin tapos ang planning for the party?"

The officers immediately scrambled to their desks, pretending to be twice as busy. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Jazzi turned to me and handed me a folder.

"If you’re not busy, I’d like to appoint you as your department’s representative. Tinanggal ko na ‘yung isa since lagi namang wala." She gestured for me to open it. "Also, if you’re up for it, I want you to make a poster about what not to wear sa Midnight Masquerade. I’m sure you’ve got the eye for clothes, so I’ll leave that to you."

I nodded without hesitation. "Got it."

"Welcome to the family, Asta," Mau said with a grin.

"Ayokong kapatid ka," I rolled my eyes, earning a laugh from her.

Soon, the room was buzzing with movement. Everyone was back on track. It was the first time I’d seen Jazzi this involved—checking each officer’s progress, asking for updates, and giving actual feedback. Dati, si Gene lang talaga ang kausap namin. But now, Jazzi’s presence filled the room. It was nice seeing her like that. Alive.

"Kain muna tayo," Mau said, stretching her arms before throwing one over my shoulder. She was seated beside me, as usual, invading my space. "Come with me. I know a place."

"Hindi ako gutom," I muttered, keeping my eyes glued to the screen as I continued adjusting the layout.

Mau slowly snatched the iPad from my hands and grinned at me—with teeth, mind you. Nang-aasar na naman ang isang ‘to.

If she were my actual sister, baka kanina ko pa siya nabatukan.

"Tara na, Asta," she pouted dramatically, clasping her hands together. "Libre ko."

I glanced around. Everyone was busy—except Jazzi. She was watching us. My reflexes kicked in, and I immediately snatched my iPad back, worried she might think I was slacking off.

"Ouch!" Mau exclaimed when the edge of the tablet accidentally hit her near the eye.

"Kulit mo kasi, e," I said, lowering the tablet and trying to pull her hand away from her face. "Patingin nga. Kung nagka-black eye ka, lagot ako."

She slowly removed her hand, revealing a slight redness on the corner of her eye. I leaned closer to check—and that’s when someone suddenly pushed me from behind. I stumbled, landing straight into Mau’s lap.

Since her chair was a swivel one, we both tumbled to the floor.

Everyone turned to look at us.

"Hoy! Bawal ‘yan dito!" someone teased, and the entire room erupted in laughter.

I glared at the culprit—Gene, of course.

"Ang kulit kasi ni Cai!" Gene reasoned, laughing.

"Eh ayaw mo kasi ibalik paper ko!" Cai shot back, trying to snatch something from Gene before running away again.

Mau was still laughing when she helped me up. Masyado na kaming maingay. I couldn’t help but worry—would Jazzi be mad?

I turned to her direction. She was focused on her computer, expression unreadable. Then she looked at me—just for a second—before looking away again.

What’s her problem?

"Tabi, papacheck ako," I said, grabbing the iPad and walking over to her desk.

"Why?" she asked without looking up.

"Okay na ba ‘to?" I showed her my layout.

But instead of checking it, she frowned slightly. "Are you hurt?"

I blinked, caught off guard. "Huh?"

"Nahulog ka."

I chuckled. "Sanay na ako. Check mo na ‘yan."

Jazzi laughed softly this time, finally taking the iPad from me. "Baliw ka talaga," she said, shaking her head.

And for a fleeting second, I saw it again—the warmth behind her smile. The kind of softness that could undo me in an instant.

Sasarilinin ko na lang siguro muna ‘to.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

After we wrapped up what we were working on, Jazzi turned to the group and asked who could accompany her to the venue.

Gene was the first to speak. “May gagawin pa ako after, Jazzi.”

Cai quickly followed. “Ako rin, sasamahan ko si Lian somewhere.”

Then Mau raised her hand while fixing her bag. “Ihahatid ko si Syrah pauwi.”

And just like that—everyone had an excuse. Everyone except me.

Nice.

I didn’t really mind, but still. I could already feel their teasing glances burning holes on my back. Baka kung ano na naman ang isipin nila. It’s not like I’m that fragile. Medyo lang. Pero hindi sobra.

I know my limits now. I’ve learned to keep myself in check, even when my heart betrays me every time she smiles. Kahit kanina lang, nang purihin ni Jazzi ‘yung layout ko, gusto ko nang maglupasay sa sahig.

“Asta?” Jazzi’s voice pulled me back.

She was standing by the doorway, one brow raised. “Free ka ba?”

“Yeah. Of course,” I replied almost too fast.

From behind her, I heard Cai’s laugh echoing across the office, followed by a sharp pak!—Mau smacking her on the head. Gene groaned, clearly done with their antics, and dragged both of them out of the room like misbehaving kids.

“Don’t mind them,” Jazzi muttered, slipping into her blazer. “You know how they are.”

“Yeah,” I chuckled softly. “Wala talagang pagbabago.”

“Tara?” she asked, grabbing her keys.

“Wait—ikaw magdadrive?” I asked.

“Uh, oo?” Jazzi furrowed her brows, amused. “Don’t worry. I’ll be careful na. Hindi tayo maaaksidente.”

I slowly nodded, pretending to be calm. Mabuti nang sigurado. Kahit gusto kong siya ang kasama, ayoko pang mawala sa mundo.

When we reached the parking lot, I froze. Her car wasn’t where it usually was.

“Nasaan ‘yung—”

“Binenta ko na. I bought a new one,” she said casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Shala. Rich people things.

“Sakay na.” She motioned for me to get in as she opened the driver’s side.

I instinctively headed for the back seat, but before I could even sit down, I could feel her stare on me—sharp, almost offended.

“Gagawin mo ba akong driver?” she asked, tone dry.

“Bakit? Dito mo naman ako lagi pinapaupo ah?” I shot back.

“Dito ka.” She pointed at the passenger seat beside her. “Mama told me to stop treating my friends like passengers.”

I blinked. Friends.

I didn’t know what to feel, but something warm crawled into my chest. She’s trying. She’s really trying to be more open than before. And now, not only Samien could sit beside her.

“Fasten your seatbelt, okay? Malaki ka na,” Jazzi teased as she buckled her own.

“Aye aye, captain,” I said, saluting half-seriously.

She chuckled, the sound soft but genuine, before starting the engine.

We arrived at the venue shortly after. Jazzi immediately went to talk to the owner, and honestly, I wasn’t surprised at how fast everything went her way.

Of course it did. How could anyone say no to the daughter of two prominent personalities in the city? I didn’t even know na ganito kakilala ang mga magulang niya. The last time we tried to book this place, halos luhuran na namin ‘yung owner, pero ayaw pa rin pumayag. Tapos tinataasan pa ‘yung rate, parang ayaw lang talaga sa amin.

Now, one short conversation with Jazzi and suddenly everything was available. What a life.

“What do you think?” Jazzi asked, gesturing around the spacious hall. “Is this big enough? For sure maraming a-attend. And we’ll need a stage, of course.”

She chose a hotel ballroom as the venue. Malaki, maganda, perfect. But I couldn’t help thinking about the budget. Hindi ganon kalaki ang funds namin para sa ganitong space. And let’s be real—our students love to complain, especially when it comes to paying fees.

“Don’t you think na masyadong mahal ‘to?” I asked cautiously.

“Mahal?” she repeated, amused.

“Bakit?” I pressed, half-teasing.

“Baliw.” Jazzi flicked my forehead, making me groan in protest. “Don’t worry about it. Mom will fix it.”

“Hoy, Jaze Zianra!” I scolded. “Tingin mo sa nanay mo, wallet? Kahit sabihin natin na may pera kayo, hindi mo naman pwedeng ipabayad lahat sa kanila. Mag-stick tayo sa kaya ng funds, okay?”

“Mom’s a major sponsor, Asta. Matagal na siyang nagdo-donate sa school,” she said, calm as ever. “Scholar ka nga niya, ‘di ba?”

I froze. Oh. Right.

I almost forgot about that little detail.

Jazzi chuckled, then reached out to tousle my hair again. Reflexively, I slapped her hand away. “Stop that. Hindi ako bata.”

“Sure ka?” she teased.

We continued going over the decorations, logistics, and stage setup until the sun had started to dip outside the wide windows. When everything was finalized, Jazzi offered to drive me home. I tried to decline, insisting na maglalakad na lang ako since walking distance lang naman, but she wouldn’t hear it.

“I was the one who brought you here, so I’ll take you home too,” she said simply.

When we arrived in front of my dorm, she rolled down her window before I could even say goodbye.

“The PIO will message you about the meeting tomorrow,” she said, smiling. “But since I’m here, consider this your official notice. Don’t be late, okay?”

I scoffed. “Kailan ako na-late?”

She grinned, eyes glinting with mischief. “You’re so late, Asta. So late.”

I frowned, confused. I didn’t know what she meant by that. Never naman akong na-late. Everyone knew that.

But the way she looked at me—half-teasing, half-something else—made my heart skip.

Maybe she wasn’t talking about time at all.

Chapter Text

Halakhak ni Lian agad ang bumungad sa akin the moment I stepped inside the Student Council office. New day, new work. The same chaos. Minsan naiisip ko na kung may award lang para sa pinaka-pagod na estudyante, baka ako na ‘yon. Finals week was closing in, and honestly, hindi ko na alam kung saan ko pa isisingit ‘yung pagrereview ko. I hadn’t even opened a single reviewer. Kahit abstract lang sana, wala pa rin.

“Ang ingay nyan!” Mau glared at Lian, half-annoyed, half-amused. “Lumabas ka na nga!”

“Hindi mo lang maipasok si Syrah rito, e,” Lian fired back, a teasing grin spreading on her lips.

I couldn’t help but smile. They were so cute together. Parang kailan lang, hindi nga makatingin si Mau kay Lian kasi selos na selos ‘yung isa. Now look at them—bickering like they own the room.

“Why are you there?”

I froze when I heard that voice from behind me.

Jazzi.

Napalingon ako at halos mabilaukan sa sarili kong laway nang makita ko siya. She had just arrived, and just like that, the entire room shifted. Everyone suddenly scrambled back to their desks, pretending to be busy—like employees na biglang naabutan ng CEO habang nagti-TikTok.

“Jazzi, sama ka sa amin mamaya,” Lian called out, tone playful.

Wait, mamaya? Sama saan ‘yan? And more importantly—BAKIT HINDI AKO ININVITE?

“Sure,” Jazzi said, walking toward her table. “What time?”

“Eight p.m.,” Lian answered, grinning like she knew something I didn’t.

Jazzi nodded casually. Meanwhile, Lian gave me a quick glance before skipping out of the office—without saying anything to me.

I blinked.

Excuse me? Hindi man lang ako sinama sa lakad?

“Hey!” I called, turning to Jazzi. “Invite me too!”

She looked up, brow slightly raised. “Saan?”

“Sa lakad ninyo.”

“Ah…” She turned to Cai and Mau, but both immediately avoided her gaze like guilty criminals. “Ask mo sila,” she said, chuckling.

My jaw dropped. Talaga lang, ha?

“Isama mo ako!” I poked Mau’s arm, but she didn’t even budge. “Kapag hindi mo ako sinama, yayayain ko si Syrah lumabas—kami lang dalawa—”

“Come with us, Asta.”

I stopped mid-threat. Jazzi’s voice was calm, but it carried weight.

Everyone in the room froze. Even Cai and Mau turned to her, eyes wide. And Gene—who I didn’t even realize was in the corner—looked up from her laptop.

“Jazzi,” Gene said slowly, brow furrowed. “Isasama mo siya sa lakad na ‘yan?”

“Mm,” Jazzi hummed. “Kaysa naman manggulo pa siya ng iba.”

I nearly laughed. Was that… her defending me?

What kind of character development was this? Dati, ako ‘yung parating napapagalitan, ‘yung tinataboy niya whenever I was too loud or too clingy. Now, she’s siding with me? Wow. Achievement unlocked.

I was about to thank her when someone knocked on the door. Everyone turned to look at me—the one nearest the entrance.

“So ako talaga, ha?” I muttered, walking toward the door.

When I opened it, I saw Mike standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers and smiling like a scene straight out of a cheesy drama.

And damn. Why did he look extra good today? His uniform sleeves were slightly rolled up, revealing just enough to make any girl swoon. Add to that the dimples that appeared when he smiled—nakakainis.

“Sino ‘yan?” Jazzi’s voice came from behind.

“I’m here for you, Asta,” Mike said smoothly, handing me the flowers. “I heard from your classmate na pumayag ka na ako ang date mo sa midnight masquerade.”

Oh, fuck.

I forgot about that.

“Ha?” I laughed awkwardly, scratching my head. “Uh… let’s talk outside.”

I turned to the others—Mau was biting her lip to stop from laughing, and Cai was shaking her head like she already knew this was going to end badly.

We stepped out into the hallway, my nerves twisting into knots. The corridors were quieter here, though my mind wasn’t.

He looked so hopeful, holding those flowers. And I—well, I just wanted to evaporate.

“Ah… about that,” I started, rubbing the back of my neck. “They were pestering me that time. I wasn’t serious. I—I actually won’t be attending the party.”

Mike frowned slightly. “But sabi nila required lahat ng officers?”

I swallowed. “Yeah, but I already told my mom I’d be home that day. She planned something for us.”

There was a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. I bit my lip, guilt crawling up my throat. After using his name just to escape, here I was, rejecting him outright.

“I’m sorry, Mike.”

He just smiled—soft, genuine. Then, in the gentlest way possible, he placed his hand on top of my head.

“Maybe next time, Asta.”

I smiled faintly. “Sure. Next time.”

He walked away, and I waved before turning back toward the office. The moment I did, I froze again.

Jazzi was standing by the doorway, watching.

“Why?” I asked, walking toward her. “May ipapagawa ka?”

“You’re not going to the party?” she asked quietly. “Sorry, I overheard.”

“No, nagsabi na kasi ako sa mama ko,” I said with a soft smile. “Family stuff.”

Jazzi nodded slowly. “It’s fine. We’ll just propose another event next year para makasama ka na.”

I laughed under my breath, shaking my head. “I’m fine, really. I’m not into dancing anyway.”

“Okay,” she said simply, smiling faintly before motioning for me to go back inside.

But as I followed her in, I caught her glancing at the bouquet still clutched in my hand.

And for a fleeting second—barely a heartbeat—her smile faltered.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Siraulo talaga ‘yang si Jazzi,” Lian muttered, rolling her eyes so hard I thought they’d get stuck that way. “Sabi nga namin na hindi ka pwedeng sumama kasi isa-isa lang.”

I frowned, confused. “Anong isa-isa?”

“We found this place last time. Cai and I took Mau first, just to see her reaction. Then si Gene. Tapos mamaya sana si Jazzi, then ikaw next time.” Lian sighed, clearly exasperated. “Hay nako, ang kulit mo talaga.”

“Ano bang meron doon?” I asked, curiosity piqued but pretending not to care.

“Basta. Malalaman mo mamaya,” she said, a mischievous grin tugging at her lips before she gestured for me to fix myself up.

Ang daming kaartehan ha? Para bang may surprise party silang tinatago.

When we finally arrived at the place, I felt… underwhelmed. Akala ko kung ano — it was just a bar. A literal bar. Hindi man lang fine dining or rooftop lounge. No wonder ayaw nilang dalhin si Syrah dito.

“So you invited me to drink?” Jazzi asked flatly, crossing her arms.

“Wait ka lang kasi,” Lian muttered, already dragging us toward the entrance before anyone could protest.

And that’s when my disappointment shifted to pure awe. The moment the door opened, I was met by a scene straight out of a movie. From the outside, the bar looked small and cheap — almost hidden. But inside? It was another world. Soft golden lights spilled from chandeliers, casting reflections on marble floors. The air hummed with low jazz and the faint scent of aged whiskey. The entire place screamed sophistication, the kind of elegance you’d expect to find in Vegas, not here.

Sino naman nakaisip ng ganito?

I looked at Jazzi, whose face didn’t mirror my surprise at all. Calm. Collected. Parang sanay na siya.

“Ang pangit ng reaction mo,” Lian complained.

“I know the person who owns this,” Jazzi murmured, scanning the room. Her voice carried a strange heaviness, one I couldn’t place.

We eventually settled into a plush leather couch tucked in one corner. Wala pang masyadong tao since maaga pa — who even drinks at eight? Bars usually come alive closer to midnight.

“How’d you know the owner?” I asked teasingly. “Ang dami mong connection ha.”

But Jazzi’s expression remained hard, almost distant. May tension sa mata niya. Parang ayaw niyang pinag-uusapan ‘yung taong ‘yon. I wanted to pry, but I bit my tongue. The last thing I wanted was to annoy her.

“Li, samahan mo ako sa counter,” she said instead.

Lian nodded and stood, motioning for me to follow.

I almost choked when I saw the menu. Tangina, isang linggong allowance ko na ‘yung presyo ng isang cocktail. Ano bang nilagay nila dito, alikabok ng ginto?

“Good evening, ladies—” The bartender paused the moment his gaze landed on me, a quick flicker of surprise in his eyes.

“Crush ka ata,” Lian whispered, making me glare at her.

“Wala ba kayong student discount?” I asked dead-serious.

Lian slapped her hand over my mouth, mortified, while the bartender chuckled.

“First time here?” he asked, still smiling.

“Yep,” I mumbled behind Lian’s hand.

“Then pick any drink you want. It’s in the house.”

My eyes widened. Free drinks? Aba, sige. Hindi na ako magrereklamo.

“What’s your best seller?” Jazzi’s voice cut through the air, calm but sharp.

The bartender froze. “Jazzi?” His tone shifted instantly — softer, uneasy. “What are you doing here? Does your mom—”

“As if you can tell her,” Jazzi interrupted, her tone cold enough to freeze air. “Tapos ano? Sisirain mo na naman ‘yung family ko?”

Lian and I exchanged looks. Wait, what?

“Look, Jazzi.” The man sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I have a family now. Wala akong balak manggulo. That was all in the past.”

So he wasn’t just a bartender. Maybe the owner, or someone close to her family.

“Since nandito na rin kayo, and kayo ang first customers ko tonight, order all you want. It’s in the house.” He gave me a polite smile before turning back to his work.

Jazzi slipped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close like it was a natural thing she always did. The man chuckled quietly and shook his head, clearly amused.

Okay, what was that? Was Jazzi… being possessive?

I wasn’t complaining, pero grabe ha. Akala ba niya lalandiin ako ng lalaki? Mukha na ngang ka-edad ng parents niya. Besides, I can handle myself. I don’t need sugar daddies — I prefer my sugar in coffee.

“Ano bang meron?” I asked softly when we sat back on the couch.

The others went dancing kaya kaming dalawa na lang ang naiwan dito.

Jazzi took a deep breath before speaking, her voice quieter now, almost fragile. “He was the reason why I was... like this.”

“Huh?” I frowned. “I thought it was because of Samien’s type?”

“When I was a kid, my moms fought. Because of him.” Her jaw clenched. “Mommy knew Mama didn’t want them to see each other, but she hid it anyway. Until Mama found out. Doon sila nag-away ng sobra. To the point na gusto na nilang maghiwalay.”

She bit her lip, voice trembling just slightly. “I tried to be strong. I acted like I was okay, like I could handle it — but I couldn’t. I was terrified. I was just a kid.”

I slowly reached for her hand, lacing my fingers through hers.

“I tried to act mature because that’s what they needed from me. Pero gabi-gabi, umiiyak ako mag-isa. That’s when Samien came in. Kahit magkaaway kami dati, she was there. She made everything feel… bearable.”

So that was it. That’s why Jazzi loved Samien so deeply. Not because of some childish promise — but because Samien was her anchor when her world was falling apart.

Jazzi blinked back tears, swallowing hard. “Mama never said she hated that guy, but I could see it. Kaya tuwing nakikita ko siya, feeling ko mauulit lahat. That my family would break again.”

Her voice cracked, and something heavy settled in my chest. I squeezed her hand tighter, hoping it was enough to tell her she wasn’t alone anymore.

“Don’t worry, Jazzi,” I whispered. “You don’t have to be strong alone. Not anymore.”

Jazzi smiled faintly, trying to laugh it off. “Maybe the alcohol’s just getting to me.”

“Don’t worry,” I teased softly, “I won’t judge you.”

But before she could respond, a voice interrupted.

“Hi girls, mind if I join?” A man slid onto the couch beside me, way too close for comfort.

Tangina. Panira ng moment.

“Join us, pretty,” he said, reaching for my chin. I recoiled instantly.

“Back off.” Jazzi’s tone was sharp as a blade as she stood up.

“Hey, I like your feisty friend.”

I instinctively hid behind her, clutching the hem of her shirt like a scared kid. I remembered the creepy guy at the pet shop, and panic bubbled in my throat.

“It’s fine, Asta,” she whispered. “You’re with me.”

“And what can you do, huh? Kahit iuwi ko—”

He didn’t finish. Jazzi’s fist connected with his face so fast the sound cracked through the music.

“Jaz!” I gasped as the man stumbled back, blood dripping from his nose.

“Gago ka ba?” Jazzi snapped. “Not because you’re a man, you think you can take anyone home just like that?”

Gene rushed forward and grabbed Jazzi’s arm before she could hit him again.

“Hehe galing talaga.” Mau chuckled. “Aray naman!” She winced when I smacked her for laughing. “Masama bang i-compliment punch niya?”

“Sana ikaw ang masapak ni Jazzi,” I hissed.

“Ang sama mo talaga,” Mau muttered, rubbing her head.

The bouncer appeared moments later and dragged the guy out, leaving the place buzzing with whispers.

Jazzi immediately turned to me. “Okay ka lang ba?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, taking her hand. Her knuckles were bleeding. “Your hand—”

“I shouldn’t have brought you here,” she murmured, slipping off her jacket and draping it around my shoulders. “I’ll take you home.”

Before anyone could argue, she gently guided me out of the bar.

“Huh? Ako ka-dorm ni Asta ah!” Lian protested.

“Hayaan mo na,” Gene said softly. “She’s safe with Jazzi.”

And for the first time that night, I actually believed it.

Chapter Text

“Ouch.”

Jazzi bit her lower lip as I carefully dabbed betadine on her bruised knuckles. She winced like a child being forced to eat vegetables, her brows scrunching together as if I was torturing her.

Napakaarte naman nito. Hindi naman masakit betadine sa sugat ha!

“Kung hindi ka kasi nananapak,” I scolded her, trying not to laugh, “edi sana hindi ka nagkasugat!”

The small dorm room was quiet except for the faint hum of the electric fan and the soft sound of my cotton swab pressing against her skin. Outside, the corridor lights flickered, casting shifting shadows through the half-open door. Everything felt strangely still — like the world paused to give us this moment.

I had dragged her inside right after the bar incident. I insisted. Hindi ko kasi matiis na nakikita ‘yung kamay niyang duguan. Sabi ko, I just needed to clean it and cover it up before it got infected. Typical Asta move — hindi mapakali kapag may sugat ang iba.

“If I didn’t punch him,” Jazzi said, her tone low and calm, though her voice carried something fierce underneath, “he would’ve said something to you.”

She looked straight at me. “Masyado kang maganda. Lapitin ka ng mga putangina.”

I froze for half a second before bursting into a small laugh. “Wow,” I said, smiling despite myself. “First time ko yata marinig kang magmura.”

Her lips twitched, but she didn’t smile back.

“I don’t know,” I muttered after a beat, “kapag nasa school ako, I don’t get that eerie feeling. Hindi katulad kanina.”

“That’s because they’re still students,” she replied almost instantly, her tone steady. “’Yung mga umaamin sa’yo, they respect you. Kaya kahit harap-harapan, may limit sila. Hindi sila bastos. But outside, it’s different. People think they can get away with anything just because they can pay the bill or flash a smile.”

She rolled her eyes, clearly disgusted.

“Done,” I said softly, patting her hand once I finished wrapping the bandage around her knuckles. “Next time, huwag ka agad mananapak, ha? Alam mo namang makapal mukha nung tao, papatulan mo pa.”

Her lips curved slightly. “And then what? Let them harass you?”

That silenced me. My hands froze mid-air.

“We can just… ignore them,” I tried weakly.

“Hindi naman sila titigil sa ganon.” She sighed, leaning back on the couch. Then she looked at me again, eyes dark but steady. “Where’s your phone?”

“Why?” I frowned, reaching into my bag.

The moment I handed it to her, she snatched it like she’d been waiting all night for that. She raised the phone, used the face recognition, and it unlocked instantly.

“Hey—” I started, but stopped.

Honestly, I should’ve been mad. Dapat galit ako. Sino ba namang hindi mairita kapag may biglang kumalikot ng phone mo? But for some stupid, confusing reason, I just… smiled. Maybe because it was her. Maybe because seeing her that close, so serious, made my heart skip in ways I didn’t want to admit.

“‘Jazzi Wifey?’” she read aloud, turning to me with one eyebrow raised.

Oh, fuck.

I wanted to vanish on the spot. Nakalimutan kong palitan ‘yun!

“Dati pa ‘yan,” I said quickly, my voice cracking at the end. “’Wag mong pansinin.”

She didn’t comment — she just smirked a little, like she knew something I didn’t. Then she handed the phone back after typing something.

“There,” she said. “If Lian doesn’t answer when something like this happens again, call me.”

I blinked, staring at her. “Why would I do that? I’d rather call Mau. Tatawanan na lang namin ‘yung nangyari.”

But Jazzi didn’t laugh. She just gave me that look — the kind that could make anyone shut up. That quiet, unflinching kind of stare that said I mean it.

I chuckled awkwardly, breaking eye contact. “Okay, okay, fine,” I said, pretending to be chill. Pero bakit ba parang kinilabutan ako? Hindi naman niya ako sasapakin, ah?

“Mau is still a kid,” Jazzi muttered.

That made me laugh. “Hoy, magkaedad lang kayo!”

“Still,” she said, a small smile finally forming on her lips. “She’s innocent.”

There was something soft about her voice when she said that. Not the cold, clipped tone she used at school, but something quieter — gentler. It made my chest tighten in the strangest way.

“Thanks for this,” she added after a moment, nodding at her hand. “Mauuna na ako.”

I stood to walk her to the door, but before she left, she turned around.

“By the way, Asta,” she said. “About the midnight masquerade — if you change your mind, tell me.”

I tilted my head. “Why? Wala kang date?”

She shook her head, that small half-smile still playing on her lips. “I’m not allowed to have one. I have work that night. Wala akong oras to take care of someone else.”

“Sure,” I said lightly. “I’ll tell you.”

“Maglock ka na. I think Lian has a spare key anyway.” She lifted her bandaged hand slightly, as if showing it off. “And thank you for this.”

“Welcome,” I said, smiling as I leaned on the doorway. “Ingat ka.”

“I will.”

She smiled — really smiled — before turning around and walking down the hall. The faint sound of her footsteps echoed against the tiled floor until she disappeared into the night.

When the silence settled, I found myself still standing by the door, my heart oddly heavy and warm at the same time.

Ganito pala talaga siya. If people only knew this side of Jazzi — the one who cared quietly, who looked out for others even when she pretended she didn’t — siguro, wala na akong laban. Marami na akong kakumpitensya.

I leaned my forehead against the door and sighed, smiling helplessly.

I’ll wait for you, Jazzi.

Kapag mahal mo na ulit sarili mo… hayaan mo naman akong ako ‘yung magmahal sa’yo.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Hindi kita maintindihan!” Mama yelled from the other line, her voice echoing with a mix of disbelief and irritation. I could almost imagine her throwing a dish towel on the counter while talking to me. “Imbes na matakot ka, kinilig ka pa. Gaga ka ba?”

“Hindi ako kinilig doon sa lalaki, okay?” I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see it. “Feeling ko lang… kahit maging rebound ako ni Jazzi, okay lang.”

“Aba’t tarantado ka pala.” I could sense her blood pressure rising even from miles away.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I lay on the bed, my phone pressed to my ear. Malapit na mag-curfew, at wala pa rin si Lian. Hindi rin naman siya sumasagot sa mga tawag ko, so I ended up calling my mom instead. Alam kong sermon na naman ‘to, pero at least, may kausap ako.

“Hoy, Astherielle,” she said, her tone turning firm. “Sabi ko huwag ka muna magbo-boyfriend, ha?”

“Ma, sabi mo huwag mag-boyfriend,” I countered, grinning. “Hindi mo sinabing huwag mag-girlfriend.”

“Kung nandito ka lang, napukpok na kita.”

That made me laugh harder. “Grabe ka, Ma. Domestic violence ‘yan.”

“Violence agad? Disiplina ‘yon!”

I could practically hear her sigh on the other end, the kind that always followed our nonsense arguments. Damn, I miss her. Kahit ganito kami palaging nag-aasaran, she’s still the only person I can tell everything to. Maybe because she’s my mom—she always understood me, even when I didn’t make sense.

Well… almost everything.

The only thing I never told her was the time I completely fell apart—when I found out about Samien. I didn’t want her to think Jazzi was cruel. She made a mistake, yes, but that didn’t make her a bad person. People mess up all the time. Everyone deserves a second chance, don’t they? Even Jazzi. Especially her.

“Ma,” I said softly, after a moment of silence. “What if bumalik si Papa? Tatanggapin mo ba siya?”

“Sabi ko naman sa ’yo noon pa,” she answered, calm but final. “Hindi na babalik ’yon. Ni hindi nga niya alam pangalan ko.”

I bit my lower lip, a small frown forming.

“Bakit? Gusto mo ba magkaroon ng tatay? Hanap ako.”

“Wow, parang nagsho-shopping ka lang.” I snorted.

Kahit kailan talaga. Kahit sabihin kong mag-asawa na siya, hindi niya ginagawa. I even cried to her before, telling her I was getting bullied because I didn’t have a dad. She told me she’d find one for me. Guess what—malapit na akong grumaduate ng college, wala pa rin akong Papa.

And honestly? Maybe that’s for the best. Mas okay na siguro ’to kaysa maging anak ng contractor na salot sa lipunan.

Just as I was about to say something, I heard the doorknob click. Napabangon ako.

“Ma, wait. Si Lian yata dumating.”

“’Wag kang magpupuyat!” she warned before I ended the call.

The door opened, and Cai entered, practically carrying Lian in her arms.

“She’s drunk,” Cai muttered, gently laying her down on the bed.

“Sana tinawagan mo ako,” I said, helping her fix Lian’s pillow. “Paano ka lalabas niyan? Baka pababa na si Tita para i-lock ’yung gate.”

“Then maybe I can talk to her.”

“Baliw ka ba? Bawal nga magpapasok ng bisita.”

“Eh bakit si Jazzi?” she shot back, raising a brow.

I froze. “How’d you even know she was here?”

Cai chuckled, looking smug. “She told me.”

Napasilip ako sa bintana. Our landlady was already locking the gate. Putspa. Wala na. Hindi na makakababa si Cai.

“Cai, tara na.”

That voice.

I turned toward the doorway—Jazzi was standing there.

Tangina. BAKIT SILA NAGSIPASOK? Akala ba nila bahay nila ’to?!

I quickly pulled Jazzi inside and shut the door behind her.

“Bakit pumasok kayo?” I whispered harshly, massaging my temple. “Kapag bukas wala na kaming matirhan—”

“You can use my spare condo,” Jazzi said, raising her hand casually.

“NO, it’s not that.” I almost scoffed. “Hindi lahat ng problema nalulutas sa yaman, Miss Silver Spoon.”

Grabe. Ang saya ko pa kanina. Ngayon, puro stress.

“So… paano kami uuwi?” Cai asked, removing Lian’s makeup with a cotton pad. “Dito na ba kami matutulog?”

“Anong choice niyo? Kaya niyo ba mag-teleport?” I rolled my eyes. “Congratulations, stranded kayo.”

“Are you mad at me?” Jazzi asked quietly, making me turn to her.

Her tone was soft, almost hesitant. Parang batang nahuli sa kasalanan. Damn. Why did she have to ask that now? Nai-stress ako, tapos siya ganito?

“No,” I muttered, sighing. “I’m just—”

“Then dito kami matutulog,” Cai cut in, flopping onto my bed.

“Hoy!” I glared at her.

“Tabi kayo ni Lian diyan! Gusto mo ba katabi mo si Jazzi? G naman ako!” she grinned, teasing.

“Gago! Mag-half bath ka muna!” I smacked her with a pillow. “Amoy alak ka tapos hihiga ka sa higaan ko.”

Cai sniffed her arm, grimaced, then nodded in defeat. I handed her one of Lian’s shirts and pointed at the bathroom. “At huwag kang maingay. Baka mahuli tayo.”

Jazzi was still standing there, her expression unreadable.

“I’m sorry,” she said after a moment. “I didn’t know. Tatawagan ka naman sana namin kaso lahat kami na-dead batt.”

“It’s fine. Maghilamos ka na rin after ni Cai,” I said, forcing a smile.

“Will you lend me some clothes?”

“Ah…” I looked around. May damit pa ba akong matinong hindi lumuluwag sa kwelyo? Hindi naman branded mga gamit ko. Paano kung ayaw niya ng tela? Nakakahiya.

“Anything’s okay,” she said, as if reading my thoughts. “I’ll wear it.”

Habang naghahanap ako ng pwedeng isuot niya, biglang may kumatok. Agad kong tinago si Jazzi sa likod ng pinto.

“Asta, may dumating ka palang parcel,” Tita said, handing me a package. “Si Lian ba ’yung naliligo?”

“Ah… yes po.” I smiled awkwardly.

“Sige, sabihin mo huwag masyadong tatagalan. Hindi pa gumagana ’yung heater, baka ubuhin.”

“Okay po.”

Pagkaalis niya, I exhaled heavily and turned to see Jazzi leaning against the wall, her hand pressed to her chest.

I glanced at the parcel—clothing shop. Probably the shirts I ordered last week. Pwede na siguro.

“Use that.” I tossed it to her before slumping onto Lian’s bed.

Jazzi opened it, then frowned.

“Ah… may iba ka bang shirt na walang mukha ko?” she asked, holding up a blue shirt printed with her face.

PUTANGINA. KAILAN KO INORDER ’YAN?!

I turned toward Lian—kung hindi lang siya tulog, baka sinakal ko na siya.

I scrambled to grab a plain shirt and threw it at Jazzi. She chuckled softly. Sakto naman ang pagbalik ni Cai.

“Thanks,” she said, holding the shirt. “And by the way… I could send you a better picture next time. Just tell me.” She smirked before stepping out.

“Anong meron?” Cai asked, drying her hair with a towel.

“Pigilan mo ako, Cai,” I hissed through gritted teeth. “Baka takpan ko ng unan ’tong nililigawan mo.”

Chapter Text

7 A.M.

We were all gathered around the small dining table, clutching our mugs of coffee like it was our only lifeline. No one dared to speak. The silence was thick, almost comical — only the faint clinking of cups and the hum of the electric fan filled the air.

Lian, freshly awake and disoriented, looked like she’d seen a ghost when she found out she wasn’t sleeping beside me alone. She practically jumped out of bed the moment she realized that Cai and Jazzi were sprawled on my bed.

Para siyang na-exorcise sa gulat — e siya naman may kasalanan ng lahat ng ito. Kung hindi siya naglasing kagabi, hindi naman siya ihahatid ni Cai at Jazzi. Kung hindi sila naghatid, hindi sila masstranded. Kung hindi sila masstranded, hindi manghihiram ng damit si Jazzi. At kung hindi siya manghihiram ng damit, HINDI NIYA MAKIKITA ‘YUNG DAMIT NA INORDER NI LIAN NA MAY MUKHA NI JAZZI.

Masolo ko lang talaga ‘tong babaeng ‘to, lagot siya sa akin. I swear, I’ll frame that shirt just to remind her how close I was to dying from embarrassment.

“So... paano tayo lalabas?” Lian smiled awkwardly, eyes darting between us like she was searching for divine intervention.

“Tita’s still outside for sure,” I said, sipping my coffee. “Probably nagwawalis pa or watering her plants. Let’s wait until 8 A.M.”

Everyone nodded in agreement — then fell silent again. Back to our awkward staring contest.

And there it was. The moment my eyes met Jazzi’s, I was instantly reminded of that cursed shirt. She was trying so hard not to laugh, biting her lower lip and looking down at her cup, pero halata.

I know that look. Hindi siya kinikilig. Tawang-tawa siya. She probably thought I was still that hopeless idiot na patay na patay sa kanya.

Kasalanan talaga ‘to ni Lian. At ng gobyerno. Kasama na si inflation. Lahat ng galit ko, ipapasa ko sa kanila.

“What about we play something while waiting for the time?” Cai suddenly said, breaking the silence. “May cards ba kayo or anything?”

Lian shook her head. “Lagi kaming wala rito ni Asta. Sino maglalaro ng baraha sa mga ganitong oras?”

“Ako.”

We all froze.

Bwiset.

Sino bang pumasok nang hindi nagla-lock ng pinto?! What if it had been Tita? Patay na kami sa eviction notice!

“Mau?” I blinked, standing up in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

Mau frowned, quickly shutting the door behind her before walking straight toward me. And without warning, she wrapped her arms around me.

“Hoy—” I stiffened, caught off guard. My eyes flickered to Jazzi, who looked just as surprised. I don’t even know why I felt the need to explain myself through eye contact, but I did.

“Anong nangyari sa ’yo?” I asked softly, patting Mau’s back.

“Baka bumagsak,” Lian muttered, stirring her coffee lazily.

“Maayos naman performance ni Mau ah,” Cai chimed in. “Saan naman siya babagsak?”

“Is this about Syrah?” Jazzi asked, her voice low but knowing.

Mau nodded slowly, still clinging to me like a sad koala.

Without hesitation, Jazzi stood up, pried Mau’s arms from me, and pulled her into her embrace instead. Mau’s switch in affection made me snort.

O ayan. Ayaw mo sa akin kumapit? Sige, kay Jazzi ka.

“Ang baby naman ni Mau malungkot,” Lian teased, shaking her head. “Akala mo hindi nang-aaway sa office oh.”

“Pwede ba? Broken ako.” Mau took Jazzi’s cup and downed the rest of her coffee. “Palagi na lang. Lagi na lang akong broken.”

“Baka kasi si Asta talaga ang para sa ’yo,” Lian said with a mischievous grin.

Jazzi’s brow arched instantly. “Oh?”

“Oh, bakit? Angal ka?” Lian teased even more.

“Mag-ate sila,” Jazzi muttered under her breath.

“Kayo rin naman?” Cai shot back, grinning.

“Teka!” I said, stepping between them and pulling Mau away from Jazzi again. “Ano bang nangyari? At sino nagpasok sa ’yo rito?”

Mau pouted. “Syrah treats all her friends the same way she treats me. Akala ko special ako… ‘yon pala, friendly lang talaga siya sa lahat.”

“E ‘di ba bumabanat na kayo sa isa’t isa?” I chuckled. “Akala ko mutual na.”

“Baka hindi enough banat mo,” Lian quipped. “Pabanat mo kay Jazzi.”

“Baliw ka talaga,” Cai laughed, covering Lian’s mouth before she could add more chaos.

“Send to all ‘yon!” Mau groaned. “Ganun daw talaga siya sa girl friends niya. Ayoko na. Ayoko na magkagusto. Paano mo nagugustuhan ‘yung mga may ayaw sa ’yo? It’s tiring, Asta. Hirap naman nito.”

“Mga?” Jazzi asked, lifting a brow.

“Ah—general statement,” I cut in quickly.

“Type niya mga may ayaw sa kanya,” Mau blurted, ignoring me. “She even told me one time gusto niyang maranasan maging backburn—”

I slapped my hand over her mouth before she could finish.

“Shut up, Mau!”

“So if ayaw sa ’yo ni Mau, magiging type mo siya?” Jazzi asked, her tone deceptively calm.

“OO!” Mau managed to shout through my hand.

“Ilang minuto pusta niyo bago mawalan ng malay si Mau?” Lian said casually.

“Ten minutes,” Cai answered.

“Bwiset kayo,” I hissed, glaring at them both.

But then Jazzi looked at me — really looked at me — with that unreadable, serious expression that always made my heart stumble.

She leaned closer, her hand gently tilting my chin up. “Naughty, Asta,” she said in a soft, teasing voice.

My brain shut down. I swear, it did. I could feel the electricity shoot through my veins, my skin prickling with the memory of her touch.

BARE MINIMUM NA BA AKO NITO?! MARUPOK NA BA ‘TO?! NO. Hindi ako marupok. Kaya ko ‘to. Si Jazzi lang ‘to. Kaya ko ‘to, Asta ako!

“Aray, put—” I yelped when Mau bit my hand.

“Hindi na ako makahinga!” she shouted. “Gusto ko lang magsumbong, lalagutan pa ako ng hininga!”

She stood up, fuming, and started walking toward the door.

“Mau, don’t—” we all yelled at once, but it was too late.

The door swung open — wide — and right there stood Tita, broom in hand, staring at all five of us inside the dorm room like we were contestants in a reality show.

Her eyes darted from Lian, to Cai, to Jazzi, to Mau… and finally, to me.

Damn.

Good luck, Asta. You’re going to need it.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

“Anong sabi?” Jazzi asked as we stepped outside, the morning sun spilling across the pavement. “Pinapalipat na kayo?”

“She gave us a week para maghanap ng bagong dorm,” I said, letting out a long sigh. My eyes drifted to Mau, who was walking beside me with her head hung low, brows furrowed as guilt lingered in her expression.

Kanina pa siya tahimik, halatang kinakain ng konsensya. Pero to be fair, hindi ko naman siya sinisisi. She didn’t know na nando’n pala sa labas ‘yung landlady namin. Atsaka nangyari na rin, so what’s the point of blaming each other now?

“Sorry,” Mau finally muttered, still refusing to meet my gaze.

“Libre mo na lang ako ng ice cream mamaya, ha,” I said, giving her a teasing smile. “Gusto ko chocolate.”

That made her lift her head. Mau turned to me and gave a small, sheepish nod.

“Ako gusto ko ‘yung—”

“Wala akong pake sa ‘yo.” Mau cut Lian off before she could finish, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the way Lian pouted.

“So, what’s your plan?” Jazzi asked again, her tone casual but her eyes concerned. “If hindi ka makahanap ng lilipatan after a week, you can stay sa condo na inooffer ni Mommy sa ‘yo.”

“That’s too much, Jazzi,” I protested softly. “Nakakatanggap na nga ako ng allowance, pati ba naman ‘yon?”

“Ginagalingan mo naman e,” she replied with that playful grin that always disarms me. “And besides, marami tayong gagawin this week. Wala ka nang time maghanap. Accept it na lang muna. Pwede naman kayo lumipat after, kapag maluwag na ‘yung sched ninyo.”

“Tama naman ‘yan,” Lian chimed in, wrapping her arms around me from behind and resting her chin on my shoulder.

Si clingy. May kasalanan pa siya kaya gustong maglambing.

“You can do that to Cai, you know?” Jazzi said, prying Lian’s arms off me with a laugh. “Kausap ko pa ‘yung tao.”

“Hoy! Bago ka naging crush nito, ako muna!” Lian yelled, puffing her chest out dramatically. “’Di ba?”

Nope. Not true. But to end the conversation quickly, I just rolled my eyes. “Oo na lang.” Then I gestured toward Jazzi’s car. “Go na, baka ma-late ka pa.”

“Let’s see each other later, ha?” Jazzi said as she opened her car door. “Magde-decorate na tayo ng venue.”

“Agad-agad?” I asked, frowning.

“Nakalimutan mo ata ‘yung date?” she teased, chuckling before waving goodbye.

Nang makaalis na sila, I turned to Lian. She was smiling awkwardly—then bolted toward the dorm like a kid caught stealing cookies.

Ngayong wala na si Cai, wala nang pipigil sa ‘kin para hampasin siya.

“Sorry na nga!” Lian screamed the moment we entered the dorm. “Hindi ko naman alam na ipapakita mo kay Jazzi! I ordered that nung nagmumukmok ka kasi miss mo siya! Hindi ko naman alam na magiging okay kayo before pa dumating ‘yon!”

I stopped mid-step and squinted at her.

“I love you,” she said dramatically, laughing as she clasped her hands together. “Okay lang ‘yan, mahal na mahal naman kita.”

“Kung alam mo lang kung gaano ako nahiya kagabi…” I groaned, rolling my eyes before sitting on the edge of my bed. “Bwiset ka talaga.”

Lian only grinned wider, unbothered as ever. “So, paano nga tayo next week? Papayag ka ba sa offer ni Jazzi?”

“I don’t want to live anywhere near her,” I muttered, looking away. “And if I’m not mistaken, si Samien lives close too.”

“So ayaw mong tumira malapit kasi ayaw mong magselos?” Lian teased, raising a brow. “Samien has Gene na, ‘no. And if only nakikita mo sila, maiinggit ka pa nga—sobrang sweet nila sa isa’t isa.”

“But still—”

“Get yourself together,” she said, brushing a few strands of my hair away from my face. “You are Astherielle Quinley Abueva. Hindi mo ikamamatay ang selos. Mas mamamatay tayo kapag wala tayong matirhan.”

Agad ko siyang hinampas sa braso, which only made her laugh harder. She sat beside me, looping her arms around my shoulders again.

“But seriously, love,” she said in a softer voice this time. “Jazzi has changed a lot. She’s not the same girl from before. She’s more open now—not just to you, but to all of us. I know I used to hate her for what she did to you, but now… I get it. Now, I know.”

Her words lingered, echoing quietly in my chest.

“What if Jazzi still won’t choose me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Lian chuckled. “I have a better question.” She looked at me knowingly. “What if when Jazzi’s finally ready, ikaw na ‘yung wala nang interes sa kanya?”

“As if that would happen,” I said with a half-laugh, trying to sound confident even if my heart ached a little.

“Hindi mo alam,” she said, smiling as she stood up and stretched. “Mag-ayos ka na. May gagawin pa tayo mamaya.”

I watched her walk away, still smiling to herself. But even as I tried to laugh it off, a quiet thought settled in the back of my mind—

I doubt there would ever be someone else who could make me feel the way Jazzi did.

Chapter Text

Everyone was busy with their work. Kumpleto ang officers ngayon, pati na rin ang mga director ng ibang organizations na sinama na namin para tumulong. The place was buzzing—voices overlapping, the sound of dragging chairs, the faint echo of laughter bouncing against the hall’s high ceiling.

Even Lian was here. Wala na rin naman daw siyang gagawin kaya sumama na siya, though she looked like she regretted that decision the moment we handed her a box of tangled fairy lights.

Since ang laki ng binayad namin for the venue, wala na kaming extra budget para magbayad ng professional decorators. Buti na lang, may mga props pa kami from the last ball, so we decided to recycle and make do with what we had.

Wala namang umalma. Everyone was on the same page—lahat gustong maging maganda ang flow ng event. There was food and drinks, a decent sound system, and working lights. Besides, marunong din naman kami mag-design ng venue. Kaya namin ‘to.

“Taas pa nang konti, Asta,” Cai instructed, squinting up at me from below.

I adjusted the mantle and raised it higher until she gave a nod of approval. Nasa stage area kami ngayon, trying to make sure every drape fell perfectly. On the other side, Mau was also struggling—her height was definitely not helping.

We were already standing on the steps, but the banner still hung too low. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero every time I tried to go higher, I felt my stomach twist. I wasn’t scared of heights, technically—but the thought of losing balance made my knees feel weak.

“Ayan!” Cai finally said, raising her thumbs. Mau and I both sighed in relief and began fixing the edges.

I was about to step down when my foot missed the step. I didn’t even realize it until gravity took over—until the air slipped from my lungs and everything blurred for a second.

“Damn!” Mau muttered, her voice distant.

The next thing I knew, I was in someone’s arms.

I blinked, slowly opening my eyes, only to see Jazzi’s face hovering above me—serious, focused, and a little sweaty, probably from moving all the heavy stuff earlier. Her arms were strong and steady, holding me like I weighed nothing more than a sack of cotton.

But damn… kahit pawisan, ang bango pa rin niya.

If it were even remotely possible, I would’ve wrapped my arms around her right then and there.

“Jazzi! Help! Mahuhulog din ako!” Mau’s voice echoed from somewhere above us, her tone panicked but not entirely serious.

“Saluhin mo sarili mo. Sanay ka naman, ‘di ba?” Jazzi replied dryly, her voice sharp but teasing.

I tried not to laugh as she gently set me down. “Thanks—” I started, but someone called her name, and just like that, she left without another word.

“Akyat ka ulit, tapos hulog kita,” Mau whispered, suddenly beside me again. “Bibigyan ka niya ulit ng oras.”

I frowned. Mau noticed it too.

Okay naman kami ni Jazzi kaninang umaga. Everything felt normal—comfortable even. But the moment we started decorating, she barely even looked at me. Palagi na lang ‘yung iba ang tinutulungan niya.

And it wasn’t like I wanted all her attention, pero this felt different. She was avoiding me—and I was a hundred percent sure of it.

I tried helping near her, but every time I did, lilipat siya sa ibang side. TALAGANG INIIWASAN NIYA AKO.

Ano bang ginawa ko? Galit ba siya kasi ang clumsy ko today? O naiirita ba siya kasi ayokong tanggapin ‘yung offer niya kanina? Or maybe…

“Asta!” Mau’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Ice cream break!” She handed me a cup, grinning.

I smiled faintly, accepting it. Pero kahit may food na, Jazzi still didn’t look our way. Parang may sarili siyang mundo. Mamaya na nga ako magsosorry—kung ano man ‘yung nagawa kong kasalanan.

“Penge,” Lian said, plopping down beside me and shamelessly snatching my ice cream.

“Nilawayan na ni Asta ‘yan!” Mau reacted instantly.

“Oh bakit? Kinikiss ko nga ‘yan kapag bored ako eh,” Lian said casually, licking the spoon.

Biglang napalingon si Jazzi at Cai. I didn’t know whether to laugh or hide my face. Lian, on the other hand, looked completely unfazed.

And for the record—we never kissed. Lian’s words always needed a filter. Ganyan lang talaga siya, kasi sobrang close kami.

“Hindi ka ba bored ngayon?” I asked, noticing that Jazzi’s gaze was still fixed on us.

Lian caught on immediately, smirking. She leaned in, eyes glinting with mischief. I leaned in too, just to tease a little—until Mau suddenly shoved me forward, and my lips landed on Lian’s cheek.

Thank God she moved her face at the last second, or else—

“Mau!” Jazzi’s voice boomed across the hall. “Help Yohan here!”

“Aye aye!” Mau saluted, laughing as she skipped away.

“Galit na siya talaga,” Lian whispered between chuckles before pressing a quick kiss on my forehead. “Akin na ‘tong ice cream ha.”

“Ano pa bang magagawa ko? Hawak mo na eh,” I muttered, rolling my eyes as she grinned triumphantly.

I stood up, planning to help with the lights again—when suddenly, Jazzi’s hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling me toward the back.

I froze.

“I can take you to the ice cream shop, you know?” she said, brows furrowed, voice low and tense. She was clearly mad.

But I couldn’t stop the smile tugging at my lips. Nagseselos ba siya? The thought alone made my heart race faster than it should.

“Oh, tapos?” I asked, crossing my arms.

Her jaw tightened. “No. I’ll buy you an ice cream shop.” Then she turned on her heel and walked away.

I was left standing there—completely dumbfounded.

Gago ba siya? Hindi naman siya seryoso, ‘di ba?
Anong nakain nun?

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Break time came, and Jazzi decided to order snacks for everyone. The moment the food arrived, halos magpalakpakan ang buong team — boxes of pizza, trays of fries, bottles of soda, even cups of milk tea scattered across the table. Everyone was laughing, reaching, talking all at once.

Everyone was thrilled.
Except me.

Don’t get me wrong — I love food. I’m probably at my happiest when there’s something to eat. Pero this… this was too much.

And if all of this came from her own pocket, mas lalong hindi ko kayang kumain nang walang guilt.

So instead of joining the chaos, I quietly slipped to the corner of the venue, rearranging the unused decorations para hindi na magulo mamaya pag-uwi. The noise around me faded into a low hum — just the sound of laughter, the scent of cheese and oil drifting in the air, and Jazzi’s voice somewhere in the mix.

“Why are you here?” Mau appeared beside me, holding a roll of tape, her brows furrowed in curiosity. “Kumakain sila ro’n, oh.”

“Hindi ako gutom,” I said, still focused on untangling the ribbons.

“Is my ice cream enough na?” she teased, chuckling as she started stacking boxes beside me.

“Sobra,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “Nalasahan ko nga lang tapos inagaw na ni Lian.”

“Then let’s go out,” Mau suggested with a grin. “Sa baba lang naman nagbebenta non. My treat.”

She reached out and grabbed my wrist, her smile playful—until her eyes flicked behind me and instantly froze. I followed her gaze.

Jazzi.

She was standing by the entrance, her expression unreadable, but her stare was sharp enough to make Mau instantly let go.

“Bibili lang kami—” Mau started, trying to sound casual, but Jazzi’s gaze didn’t waver.

“I need to talk to you,” Jazzi said. Her voice was calm, but it carried a weight that silenced the air around us. Then she turned and walked away.

I blinked. “Ako ba?”

“‘Oo,’ obviously.” Mau chuckled under her breath. “This is my first time seeing Jazzi like that. Is she… jealous?”

“Gago. Saan naman siya magseselos?” I said, though my chest betrayed me with that quick, unwanted flutter.

Still, I followed Jazzi.

She led me toward the balcony at the side of the venue. I didn’t even notice it earlier — wide glass doors opened to a quiet space overlooking a garden. The sunlight spilled over the plants below, painting the leaves gold. For a second, I just stood there, taking in the calm after the noise inside.

“Bakit na naman?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Why aren’t you eating? May gusto ka ba?” Her tone was softer this time, almost concerned.

“Ikaw,” I replied without hesitation.

She blinked, unimpressed. “Not that, Asta.”

“Wala na,” I said, feigning boredom. “Babalik na ako.” I turned around to leave, but her hand caught my wrist again — firm but not forceful, just enough to stop me.

“Wait.”

Her voice dropped, and for a moment, her confidence cracked. “What’s with Mau?”

I frowned. “What?”

“Earlier, she told me na posibleng magustuhan mo siya.”

Ah. Kaya pala.

“That’s why you’re acting like this?” I asked, my tone half amused, half annoyed. “Tinutulungan kita, tapos umiiwas ka.”

“Because you’re always looking at Mau,” she said, the words coming out faster than she probably intended. “Sa akin ka nga natulong, but you’re always worried if Mau was doing alright. What’s the purpose of helping me if siya naman nasa isip mo?”

I stared at her, speechless for a moment. Then a small smirk tugged at my lips. “Nagseselos ka ba?”

“I—” She hesitated. “No…” She shook her head, but her eyes gave her away.

“Kung hindi, edi pabalikin mo na ako sa ginagawa ko.” I turned again, but she caught me one more time.

This time, she pulled me closer — just a breath away — and I felt the tension shift between us. Her expression softened; her voice dropped to something uncertain, almost vulnerable.

“What if I am?” she asked quietly. “Paano kung nagseselos nga ako?”

For a moment, my brain short-circuited. My pulse was ridiculous.

But— composure, Asta. Kalma. Savage ka dapat.

I laughed under my breath, shaking my head as I gently took her hands off me. “I have a better question,” I said, leaning just close enough to smirk. “Anong karapatan mo?”

Inside, I was screaming.

KINIKILIG AKO. PERO KAILANGAN SAVAGE TAYO.

Hinga.

Kalma.

Jazzi blinked, then straightened up. “Right,” she said, tone suddenly cool again. “I shouldn’t be jealous… because I know you’re always into me.”

My brows furrowed.

ANO?!

Chapter Text

Lian slumped dramatically on the office couch the moment we finished. After two straight days of setting up, we finally managed to decorate the entire venue.

“Hindi kaya naging mahal kasi ilang araw mo ni-rent ‘yung venue?” Gene asked, flipping through the printed receipts, her brows knitted in worry. Mau was beside her, helping her sort out the paperwork.

Jazzi didn’t even look up from her laptop. “No,” she answered calmly. “I asked the owner if puwede tayong mag-design for advance setup. He said yes since wala namang nagbook for those days.”

Her tone was businesslike, clipped — the kind that made everyone listen.

“Okay na ba lahat? Like, sa sound systems and such?” Cai asked from across the room, holding a list.

“Yes. Ayos na lahat,” Jazzi finally said, closing the laptop with a soft thud before turning to us.

Her brows were still furrowed, eyes sharp and assessing as she scanned Gene’s table — but the second her gaze landed on me, her entire expression shifted. Her lips curled into a small, knowing smile. Then she winked.

TANGINA.

I immediately turned away, biting the inside of my cheek to suppress the grin threatening to escape. Ang landi niya, grabe! I swear, one day, my heart will actually give up because of her.

“Okay ka lang?” Cai asked, frowning in confusion.

“Ha? Oo, oo naman.” I nodded too fast.

Of course, they didn’t see what Jazzi did. Lucky them. Meanwhile, ako ‘tong hindi makapag-focus. Every time I tried to keep my eyes on the papers, my gaze somehow drifted back to her — and every single time, she was doing something distracting. Typing, stretching, smiling faintly to herself. Lahat ng simpleng galaw niya, nakakainis.

“Kayo ba, nakaready na mga susuotin ninyo sa midnight masquerade?” Jazzi asked casually, turning her chair toward us.

“Yep,” Lian replied instantly, then turned to me with that mischievous grin. “Hindi ka pa rin talaga sasama?”

I shook my head and smiled. “Pass ako.”

“By the way, Jazzi,” Gene suddenly said, glancing up. “Bakit sabi ni Sir hindi ka raw sasama? Alam mong kailangan ka ro’n, ‘di ba?”

That caught my attention. I looked at Jazzi.

“Marami naman kayo,” she said, shrugging. “Besides, maayos naman lahat. I need some rest too, Gene.”

“Rest ba talaga?” Lian teased, her eyes darting between us with a smirk.

“Siguraduhin mong magpapahinga ka ha,” I muttered, rolling my eyes as I grabbed my bag. “May exam pa kami today. Magsipasok na kayo!”

“Good luck! Sana pumasa kayong lahat!” Mau called out, waving dramatically. “Lalo ka na, Astacakes!”

I couldn’t help but laugh and turned back to her. Mau was grinning ear to ear, waving her phone like a cheer flag. Ang kulit talaga ng batang ‘to.

“Good luck, Asta,” Jazzi added, voice low, almost teasing.

I squinted at her. “Gaya-gaya.”

She only smiled — that faint, smug curve of her lips that made my stomach twist again.

By the time I stepped out of the office, I was smiling for no reason. My brain was empty, but my heart? Tumitibok nang parang baliw. Mag-eexam akong kinikilig, and that was the worst kind of distraction.

“Asta!”

The familiar voice made me turn — and just like that, my smile widened.

“Samien,” I greeted. She looked effortlessly pretty in her white blouse and jeans, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail. “Buti nandito ka?”

“May pinasa lang akong requirements para next sem dito na ako mag-aaral,” she said, smiling back. “Papasok ka na ba?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “By the way, nasa office si Gene. If you’re looking for her.”

“Thanks!” She was about to leave when she paused and turned back. “Do I look okay?”

I chuckled. “You look gorgeous.”

Her cheeks turned slightly pink as she nodded, and I found myself smiling again. I didn’t even know why I felt so at ease around Samien now. Maybe because she reminded me of myself — someone who just wanted to love quietly, without all the unnecessary chaos.

I watched her walk away. Just before she opened the office door, Jazzi stepped out.

They exchanged smiles — short, polite. I couldn’t hear their conversation, but Jazzi pointed inside, and Samien went in. Then, inevitably, our eyes met.

And my world just... stopped for half a second.

I looked away immediately, my face heating up. Great. Fantastic. Another public episode of Asta Being Pathetic Over Jazzi.

“Astherielle!”

I froze. My full name. She only used that when she was either teasing me or about to ruin my life.

I turned around slowly, exhaling before meeting her gaze. “Bakit?”

“You forgot something.” Her voice had that teasing lilt again, her smile soft but loaded with something else.

I glanced down at my bag, confused. “Wala naman—”

“Ako.”

She leaned in. Close enough for me to see the glint in her eyes, close enough for my brain to just… shut down.

“Didn’t I tell you na sasabay ako sa building ninyo?” she asked, that infuriating smirk still on her lips.

“Ah.” I swallowed hard and averted my gaze. “Dami mong alam. Doon ka nga.”

I tried to push her away, but she just laughed — low, smooth, and entirely unfair.

Damn. When did Jazzi become this sexy when chuckling?

Because if she kept doing that, no amount of exams, sleep, or logic could save me.

“You’re blushing again.”

“I’m not,” I said too quickly. My voice betrayed me—higher than usual. “Mainit lang.”

“Oh, mainit?” she echoed, grinning. “Kasi ba ako ang katabi mo?”

I groaned, grabbing my bag tighter and walking faster toward the stairs. “You’re unbelievable. Delusional.”

She followed anyway, steps lazy but her smirk annoyingly persistent. “You know what’s delusional? Thinking you can walk away that easily when I told you I’m coming with you.”

“Who says you can’t?”

“You,” she said, tilting her head. “But I don’t follow orders, Asta. I give them.”

“Then maybe someone should start teaching you how to listen.”

“Maybe someone should stop looking so cute when she’s mad.”

TANGINA.

HELP.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

"Sana iba na proctor bukas," my classmate groaned the moment our professor stepped out of the room, rolling her eyes like she was done with life.

I couldn’t even blame her. Kanina pa kasi parang may radar si Ma’am sa bawat galaw namin. Someone sighed once—isang buntong-hininga lang talaga—and she accused them of planning to cheat. Like, hello? Is breathing a crime now? Kung gano’n, lahat kami guilty.

I was still laughing quietly to myself when someone shouted from the hallway, “Asta, nandito na date mo!”

My forehead creased. Date?

Diyos ko, I hadn’t even told them I wasn’t going to the midnight masquerade. Not that they needed to know.

When I stepped outside, I immediately saw Mike waiting near the building entrance—smiling, ever the sunshine boy. But beside him, leaning casually against the wall, was Jazzi. Headphones on, expression unreadable, eyes fixed on me like she’d been waiting for hours.

And I swear, there was something about the way she looked at me—calm, patient, but… watchful.

“Tapos na exam?” Mike asked, stepping closer.

I glanced at Jazzi, expecting her to move, pero wala. She just stood there, gaze steady, arms crossed loosely as if she had all the time in the world.

“Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile. “Bukas ulit.”

“Good. Then let’s go out somewhere. I know a place,” Mike offered, but I shook my head quickly.

“Maybe next time,” I replied, giving him an apologetic smile before walking toward Jazzi.

She didn’t speak right away, but her stare softened when I stopped in front of her. “Kanina ka pa?” I asked.

“Maaga kong tinapos exam ko para mauna ako rito,” she said, shrugging. “Turns out, may exempted pala sa exam kasi player.” She then looked at Mike na papaalis na.

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Aalis ba tayo?" I asked.

“Hmm.” She tilted her head slightly. “May gagawin pa. Come with me.”

Before I could ask where, Jazzi reached for my hand and pulled me gently forward.

My brain short-circuited.

This is fine. It’s just holding hands. Totally normal.

Except—no. It wasn’t. Her hand was warm, her grip light but firm, and every single nerve in my arm decided to wake up and riot.

Calm down, Astherielle. She’s just holding your hand. She’s the lucky one, that’s all. Keep that in mind. Lucky.

When we reached the office, I heard Samien’s voice first. “There she is! Kanina pa nasstress girlfriend ko sa ‘yo.”

“Bakit na naman?” Jazzi asked, still holding my hand like it was nothing. “Kaya n’yo na ‘yan, aalis kami ni Asta.”

“Saan kayo pupunta?” Gene asked, raising a brow.

“Secret.” Jazzi smirked, grabbing her blazer from the chair.

Only then did she let go of my hand.

“Wait lang,” I said, crossing my arms. “Pumayag na ba ako?”

“Then message my mom and tell her you can’t come with me,” she replied, leaning in so close I could feel her breath against my ear. “As if you can refuse my mom.”

She tousled my hair before walking out like she hadn’t just fried my entire nervous system.

I turned to see Gene and Samien both smiling—no, grinning.

“What?” I asked, trying not to sound defensive.

Samien giggled and motioned for me to follow Jazzi, while Gene just shook her head with a knowing look.

Magjowa nga ‘tong dalawa.

Sighing, I finally decided to go after Jazzi. It wasn’t like I had a choice anyway. Una, her mom was paying my tuition and giving me allowance. Pangalawa, makikitira pa kami sa condo nila habang naghahanap ng lilipatan. And pangatlo—okay fine—maybe I wanted to spend time with Jazzi.

So yeah, meet-the-parents again stage. Round two, here we go.

“You okay?” Jazzi asked once we parked outside her house.

I was still checking my reflection sa vanity mirror. “Kailangan maganda ako,” I muttered.

She laughed, flipping the sun visor up just to annoy me.

“You look gorgeous, Asta,” she said softly.

No teasing smile. No smug look. Just… sincerity.

My chest tightened. Does she know what that does to me?

“You sure?” I asked, trying not to sound flustered.

She nodded, then took the tint from my hand. “Let me put a little on you.”

Her fingers brushed my chin, gently tilting it upward. Then she started applying the tint—slowly, carefully, like it was something sacred. My heartbeat stuttered with every second that passed.

Her eyes flicked down to my lips. “I wonder,” she whispered, voice low and husky, “if these lips have kissed someone already…”

“No one,” I breathed.

She smiled faintly, eyes glinting. “Not even Lian?”

“Nope.”

Her gaze lifted to mine again, and for a second, the world shrank into that one quiet space between us.

“Then please,” she murmured, voice dropping an octave, “reserve it for me.”

I froze.

My body refused to move, my heart beating so fast it was almost painful. The way she said it—half challenge, half confession—made my mind go blank.

So all I could do was nod.

And when she finally pulled away, I exhaled the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.

You lose again, Asta.

One more time, I let her win. One more time, I couldn’t escape the gravity that was Jazzi.

And the worst part? I didn’t even want to.

Chapter Text

"Where are your parents?" I asked the moment we stepped inside their house.

Jazzi didn’t answer right away. Her eyes scanned the familiar walls, quietly observing each framed photograph and piece of furniture as if checking whether something had changed. It was so quiet—eerily quiet, actually. Walang tumatakbong katulong, walang ingay ng vacuum o kalansing ng plato. I wondered if this was how their home usually felt—beautiful, modern, but strangely solemn.

“Pakicheck sa kitchen,” Jazzi finally said, her voice low and even.

I nodded and made my way to the kitchen.

The scent of garlic and butter filled the air the moment I stepped inside, and there they were—her parents.

Tita Jace was busy stirring something in the pan while Tita Azi leaned against the counter, just smiling at her wife like she was watching the most beautiful thing in the world.

God. The way she looked at her—so in love. So soft. So content.

All this time, I didn’t know people could look at someone like that outside of the movies.

“What are you staring at?” Tita Jace asked without even looking up. “Jazzi invited Asta tonight, so every dish has to be perfect.”

Wait—what? I thought it was Tita Azi who invited me! Para-paraan din talaga ‘tong Jazzi na ‘to.

“Ah, so wala ka pa ring tiwala sa luto ko?” Tita Azi teased as she walked closer, looping her arms around her wife’s waist and resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Pagod ka ba?” Tita Jace asked softly.

“Yep. May binili ako kanina. So I need an energy transfer.”

And then she smiled like she meant it.

NAKAKAINGGIT. Like, deeply and personally nakakainis kind of nakakainggit.

“What are you staring at?” Jazzi’s voice suddenly came from behind me. I turned to see her peeking from the doorway, watching her parents too.

“They’re always like that,” she said, smirking. “Masasanay ka rin sa kanila.”

“Masasanay?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow. “You’re saying it as if magiging magulang ko rin sila ah.”

“Ayaw mo ba?” she teased, her tone light but her grin daring.

“Bwiset ka,” I muttered and smacked her arm.

She laughed and held the spot dramatically. “Ikaw ha—ang lakas mong bumanat, pero kapag binabalik sa ‘yo, nananakit ka.”

“Wala kang paki,” I said, rolling my eyes as I lightly pushed her aside to pass.

Before I could walk away, Tita Azi called us. “Andyan na pala kayo,” she said warmly. “Maglagay na kayo ng plates sa mesa.”

We both nodded and obeyed.

Honestly, it was kind of fun—preparing the table, moving plates and utensils while hearing soft laughter from the kitchen. I realized that I could never say no to Tita Azi. The way she spoke—calm, lilting, almost melodic—made everything sound like a gentle command.

“Bakit hindi kayo kumuha ng katulong?” I asked Jazzi while arranging the cutlery. “I mean, your parents are both busy.”

She didn’t answer. She just kept placing the plates neatly on the table, her expression unreadable.

A few minutes later, her parents came out carrying the dishes. The smell made my stomach growl.

Garlic buttered shrimp. My weakness.

Finally, real food. Hindi instant noodles, hindi canned tuna—just actual delicious food. Dorm life was brutal. If you haven’t experienced it yet, don’t. Ever.

“I’m glad you invited me again, Tita,” I said with an innocent smile, just loud enough for Jazzi to hear.

“I… did I?” Tita Azi blinked, turning to her wife.

“Maybe I did,” Tita Jace chuckled, shaking her head.

I looked at Jazzi. She refused to meet my eyes, busy peeling shrimp like her life depended on it.

Cute.

I reached for a shrimp, but before I could even touch it, Jazzi took the plate from me.

“Ako na.” she said casually, grabbing a few pieces and starting to peel them.

I stared at the shrimp for a second before glancing back at her. Her expression was so casual, pero may kakaiba sa mga mata niya — soft, patient, almost tender.

“Eat.” She gestured for me to eat but I only chuckled.

“Umamin ka nga. Crush mo ba ako?” I asked.

Jazzi coughed kaya agad ko siyang inabutan ng tubig.

“It’s a yes, Asta.” Tita Azi winked at me, causing me to laugh.

The dinner went by smoothly. We talked about school, a bit about the upcoming event, and then Tita Jace mentioned something about her and Jazzi’s heart-to-heart talk before the accident—a story laced with quiet gratitude that she managed to get her daughter back.

After dinner, while Jazzi and her mom were washing dishes, Tita Azi and I stayed behind to clean up the table.

“Asta,” she said gently, and I turned to her.

She smiled, that same soft, reassuring smile. “Thank you for staying with Jazzi.”

I froze, not expecting that.

“You know… after everything she’s done.”

“I understand her naman po,” I said, smiling faintly. “And besides, hindi ko rin naman kayang iwasan anak ninyo. She has this… magnetic pull, na kapag nasa paligid siya, hindi pwedeng hindi ako lalapit sa kanya.”

Tita Azi chuckled quietly. “She’s always been like that. Ever since she was a kid, she wanted to act mature. She’d ask her aunt for help in making decisions. Pero habang tumatanda, mas gusto niyang gawin lahat mag-isa. Independence daw.”

“Maybe she just wants to prove something,” I said. “That she’s strong enough to stand alone. Pero I think she grew up well, Tita.”

Tita Azi nodded thoughtfully, then looked at me again, her expression shifting slightly. “Asta,” she said softly, “if ever one day, you realize na ayaw mo na kay Jazzi—na ayaw mong masangkot sa kanya ulit—please tell me. So I can be there for her when it happens.”

Her tone was kind, but heavy with something—fear, maybe. Or experience.

I smiled gently. “Don’t worry, Tita. That won’t happen.”

At that moment, Tita Jace came back, eyebrows raised. “Ano na naman ‘yan? Kanina pa namin hinihintay ‘yung hugasan.”

“Ito na,” Tita Azi rolled her eyes affectionately, passing the plates to her wife.

“Asta, tara,” Jazzi said, suddenly appearing beside me. She grabbed my hand, and my breath caught for a second.

I looked at her parents, unsure if I should pull away, but they just smiled knowingly and nodded—as if silently saying, go on.

And maybe for the first time that night, I didn’t even bother pretending to resist.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Jazzi took me to the rooftop, and for a moment, I was completely stunned by what I saw. The air was cooler up there, brushing softly against my skin as the city lights twinkled below like fallen stars scattered across the dark.

There was a telescope positioned near the railing, its lens pointed toward the half-moon. Around it were neatly arranged plants — succulents, potted vines, even small flowering ones that seemed to glow faintly under the soft garden lights. May mga fairy lights din na nakasabit sa railing, swaying gently with the wind. Everything looked so carefully put together, so intentional, that I couldn’t help but think how much time she must’ve spent curating this little paradise.

"Do you like it?" she asked, smiling at me, her voice soft, proud even.

As much as I wanted to smile back — to let that little flutter in my chest win — there was a familiar sting that refused to leave. Because the last time, when her mom told her to bring me here, she didn’t want to. She brushed it off like it was nothing. Pero ngayon, after Samien came back, bigla na lang okay na?

I bit the inside of my cheek.

Did she mean to show this to Samien first? Ginagawa niya lang ba ‘to ngayon kasi gusto niyang maranasan ko ‘yung mga hindi na nila maeenjoy?

"Don’t you like it?" Jazzi’s tone softened, worried this time. "Pwede naman tayo bumaba, sa garden na lang kung mas gusto mo."

"Who am I to you, Jazzi?" The question slipped out before I could stop it.

Her brows furrowed. “Why are you suddenly asking me that?”

"Did you bring Samien here too?" I asked again, my voice barely steady. “Nagustuhan ba niya rito? Did she enjoy this too?”

“What are you saying?” she asked, her eyes narrowing as she stared at me. “Samien never came here.”

I froze. “Then… what about the passenger seat?”

Jazzi blinked, confused for a second before sighing. “Samien never liked sitting at the backseat. I don’t know why, but she mentioned before that she hated it. Kaya kahit ayoko siyang paupuin sa passenger seat, wala akong choice. She always insisted.”

What?

All this time, I thought it was her seat — like it belonged to someone I could never replace.

"Then..." I trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

"Do you really think I’m only doing this because hindi ko na magagawa kay Samien ‘to?" Jazzi asked quietly. "You think I’m just trying to fill an empty space?"

I met her gaze. "H-hindi ba?" My voice cracked a little. "Kasi Jazzi, ‘yung mga biro mo… para sa akin, totoo na e. Pakiramdam ko you’re just around because you need someone beside you while you’re healing."

She didn’t answer at first — her silence loud, her eyes flickering as if searching for the right words.

Finally, she said, almost in a whisper, “Every night, I wonder, Asta. If I still love Samien or not. Because I can live without her beside me. I can go on with my life even if she only messages me once a month—or once a year.”

Her voice trembled slightly as she went on.
“But when it’s you…” She paused, exhaling softly. “Kahit isang araw lang na hindi kita maramdaman, napapraning ako. When I’m with you, I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to filter what I say, or act like I’m fine. When I’m with you, I’m just… happy.”

"Do you...somehow?" I hesitated. “Do you like me?”

Jazzi’s eyes softened, but she shook her head. “I don’t know, Asta. Ang alam ko lang, ayokong may kaagaw sa ‘yo. I want to be the only person you annoy. The only one you’d tease. The only one you’d look at that way.”

She sighed and met my gaze again, her eyes calm but shimmering under the faint rooftop light.

"Funny, no?" she said with a weak chuckle. “I accepted that Samien is Gene’s girlfriend. But I couldn’t accept the thought that maybe, someday, you’d like Mau.”

I smiled faintly. Her jealousy was ridiculous — but painfully honest.

"Ayokong magmadali," she continued softly. "Ayokong pilitin ka. But damn, Asta…” She swallowed. “Pwede bang ako lang?"

I laughed quietly and stepped closer, pulling her into a hug before she could say anything more. Her body relaxed against mine, and I could feel her heart beating fast — too fast for someone pretending not to care.

"Do you know you’re so cute when you beg?" I whispered, my lips brushing near her ear.

"I can keep begging if you ask me to," she whispered back, the warmth of her breath sending shivers down my spine.

I smiled wider, my arms tightening around her.

Nope. I didn’t lose yet.

Because Jazzi — the same girl who once pushed everyone away — is slowly falling. And when she does, she’ll fall hard.

"I like it here." I whispered again.

"I like every places when there’s you. I’m glad you exist, Asta."

And just like that — beneath the stars and her stupidly charming face — I realized I didn’t mind losing anymore.

Not if losing meant falling with her.

Chapter Text

The next few days passed in a blur. After the final exams came the midnight masquerade, and after that—finally—our much-awaited break. But today was different. Today was the day I’d finally be going home.

We’d already moved into the condo near Jazzi’s place, which sounded peaceful in theory, but in practice? Not so much. Samien’s unit was just next door, Jazzi’s was right above ours, and peace only existed until Gene and Cai decided to visit. Kapag nagsama sama ‘yung apat na ‘yon, the entire building could probably hear their laughter. On those days, I’d always sneak upstairs, pretending I wanted to visit our cat—when in reality, I just wanted to hide with Jazzi.

Now, I was on the floor, half-kneeling, half-slumped, packing my things for later’s trip while Lian and the others were getting ready for the midnight masquerade.

“Nakakainis naman. Uuwi ka talaga,” Lian whined, pouting at her reflection while curling her hair. Her vanity mirror was littered with makeup palettes, curling iron cords, and chaos—just like her.

“Nagsabi na ako kay mama,” I sighed, zipping my duffle bag shut. “At tsaka unlike you, hindi ako nakakauwi twice a month.”

I tried to smile. “I’ll just miss your clinginess, loser.”

“Sabagay,” she muttered, brushing blush across her cheeks. “Diretso ka na pala no? Christmas vacation na rin after. Bali next sem na tayo magkikita.”

“Yep. And I hope you won’t miss me that much.” I smirked, then added, “You look pretty, by the way.”

“I know,” Lian said, grinning. “Mana ako sa ’yo.” She leaned forward and planted a loud kiss on my cheek, leaving a perfect red lipstick mark.

I didn’t even bother wiping it off. It looked too perfect—too deliberate.

“Lilipat ako sa condo ni Samien ha. Ipapaayos ko buhok ko,” she announced, and before I could answer, she was gone—heels clicking, hair bouncing.

I exhaled, the quiet returning all at once. They were all so excited for tonight’s masquerade. Sabagay, it wasn’t every day we got to have something this grand. Sayang lang. Maybe I should trust Jazzi to pull off something similar next year—para kahit once, maranasan ko rin bago ako grumaduate.

A knock startled me.

“Lian, may naiwan—” I opened the door, only to freeze.

“Why aren’t you preparing?” I asked.

Jazzi was standing there, looking perfectly casual yet ridiculously striking in her simplest outfit. “I’m not going, remember?” she said, walking past me like she owned the place.

Which, technically, she did. So I couldn’t exactly kick her out.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying not to sound too conscious of her proximity.

Instead of answering, Jazzi stepped closer—too close—and reached for my cheek. Her thumb brushed lightly over the lipstick mark.

“Ilang oras pa lang tayong hindi nagkikita, nagpapahalik ka na sa iba,” she muttered.

I blinked, then laughed incredulously. “Makapagsalita ka, parang tayo na ha.” I pushed her hand away and faced the mirror, trying to fix the smudged stain she made worse.

She didn’t even look guilty.

“Hindi ka talaga pupunta sa event mamaya?” Jazzi asked, sitting comfortably on my couch like she planned to stay all night.

“Nope.” I pointed to my duffle bag. “Nagpack na nga ako, oh. Aalis na ako mamaya. I’m just waiting for my mom’s reply.”

When I was done fixing my face, I turned to her. She was staring at me—openly, without a trace of shame or hesitation. There was admiration in her eyes. The kind that made my chest tighten and my mind forget how to breathe.

“Alam mo,” I said, rolling my eyes to hide the heat rising to my face, “kung wala kang sasabihin, bumalik ka na sa unit mo.”

“Sama mo ’ko.”

I froze mid-step. Slowly, I turned to her. “Gago ka ba?” I laughed, half nervous, half amused. “Baka isipin ng mommy mo kinikidnap na kita.”

“Why?” she asked, her tone soft but teasing. “It’s unfair that you’ve already met my parents, pero ’yung magulang mo, hindi ko pa kilala.”

“It’s not unfair since we’re not together yet,” I corrected, trying to sound firm.

“Then gusto mo ba ligawan na kita?” she said.

I stopped breathing. Was she serious?

Would she really bring this to the next level? What if one day she gets tired? What if she realizes I’m not as easy to love as she thinks? What if she just gives up—like everyone else eventually does?

“Sama ka na,” I blurted out instead, clearing my throat. “We’re gonna be late.”

Jazzi’s grin widened, and she stood up. She was already halfway out the door when she paused, hand on the doorknob.

“What now?” I asked suspiciously.

“I shouldn’t have asked that,” she said, her lips curving into a mischievous grin. “Gagawin ko na lang.”

“UMALIS KA NA NGA!” I yelled, hurling a throw pillow at her as she burst out laughing, finally closing the door behind her.

I stood there, heart pounding, cheeks burning, clutching another pillow to my chest.

Bwiset talaga.

If she keeps doing that, she’ll be the reason I get a heart attack one of these days.

Minutes later passed...

“Done.”

Jazzi appeared at my door with a duffle bag on one shoulder and a backpack on the other. I stared at her, then burst out laughing.

Ang dami niyang dala, parang magbabakasyon hanggang next year. Nasisiraan na talaga ng ulo ‘tong babaeng ‘to.

“Bawasan mo ‘yan. Isang araw ka lang doon tapos uuwi ka na.” I sighed, crossing my arms. “You just want to meet my mama, right?”

“Pinayagan ako ni Mommy and Mama to have a short vacation with you since aalis sila,” Jazzi explained casually, like it was no big deal. “For Paris.”

“Bakit hindi ka sumama?” I asked, incredulous. “Come on, it’s Paris.”

“I told you,” she leaned on the doorway, a lazy smile on her lips. “I only like the place when there’s you.”

Oh, great. Corny na naman.

“But if I’m being too clingy,” she added, lowering her gaze, “then fine. I’ll only stay for a day. Then uuwi na ako.”

Her voice faltered a little, soft and unsure.

Hindi naman sa ayoko siyang isama talaga—but the province isn’t exactly her comfort zone. Has she ever even tried living somewhere rural? Sa lugar na halos kailangan mong maglakad ng fifteen minutes para makarating sa palengke? Kung saan may manok na alarm clock sa umaga at may palaka na choir sa gabi? I doubted she could handle that.

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes, trying to sound nonchalant. “One week. Try to survive for a week, then decide if you still want to go home. Pero sinasabi ko na sa ‘yo—hindi ka pwedeng magbuhay-princess doon. Walang paki mga tao ro’n kahit anak ka pa ng Rivera. Hindi nila kilala sila Tita doon.”

Jazzi’s lips curved into a faint smile. “Copy that.”

By three in the afternoon, I texted Mom that I was bringing someone with me, so she could prepare my room for Jazzi. Sa kwarto muna ako ni Mama matutulog—mas okay na ‘yon kaysa magtabi kami ni Jazzi. Awkward kung magkatabi kami, pero mas awkward kung katabi niya si Mama.

The drive to Pampanga was long but comfortable. By the time we reached town, the usual chaos of the marketplace greeted us—vendors calling out, kids running barefoot, the smell of freshly cooked merienda wafting in the air. Same old home. Same old noise. Only now, the streets seemed a little wider, a little calmer—probably because the double-parked tricycles were finally gone.

“Asta!” a vendor called, waving from her stall. “Muli na ka?”

I smiled and nodded, waving back.

“Ano raw?” Jazzi asked, confused.

“Atyu ya bale ing ima mu? the vendor added, grinning.

“E ku balu pu, ngeni pamu ku mumuli. Ibat ku dorm.” I replied with a smile.

“Minumura nyo na ba ako?” Jazzi asked, brows furrowing.

“Pota naka,” I muttered under my breath.

Her eyes widened. “Minumura mo na ako?”

“Wa, sige, ating mantun king ima mu,” the vendor said again, and I nodded politely.

“Ninu ‘yan? Bata mu?” she asked teasingly.

I turned to Jazzi, who looked adorably lost, sulking with her arms crossed.

“Kaluguran ku,” I said, chuckling.

“Lagu na,” the vendor replied, laughing.

I waved goodbye and turned to Jazzi, who was now pouting in silence, clearly overthinking what just happened.

“Ayos ka lang?” I asked.

She didn’t answer. Just kept her eyes on the ground.

“Hoy,” I stopped walking. “Hindi ka naman namin pinag-uusapan.”

“Minura mo ‘ko,” she muttered, still avoiding my gaze.

“Minura? Kailan?” I frowned. “Wala naman akong minura—”

Before I could finish, I spotted a familiar figure standing near our front gate.

“Ma!” I exclaimed.

I instantly forgot about Jazzi and ran toward her. She barely had time to open her arms before I crashed into a hug.

“Amoy araw ka!” she exclaimed, pushing me lightly.

“Hindi nga ako pinagpawisan, Ma,” I protested, laughing.

“Joke lang. Tara rito.” She hugged me tighter, then stopped when her eyes landed on the girl standing a few steps behind me.

“Ah, Ma,” I said quickly, gesturing toward Jazzi. “Si Jazzi po. ‘Yung kinukwento ko sa inyo.”

Mom’s face went blank—no reaction, no smile. She just stared at Jazzi. And for a moment, I thought she hated her. The silence felt heavy. Totally different from how she used to react to anyone I brought home before.

“Hello po,” Jazzi greeted, trying to be polite. She reached for my mom’s hand to do mano, but Mama stepped back and shook her head.

She’s never liked that gesture—sabi niya, it makes her feel old.

Then, out of nowhere, Mama looked at me and said, “Paano mo nakuha ‘to? Ginayuma mo?”

“Ma!” I groaned, rolling my eyes so hard I almost saw my brain.

Jazzi laughed softly. “It’s the other way around po, tita. Asta’s face is too popular around the university. Everyday may umaamin sa kanya.”

Mom’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Ay, wala ‘tong paki sa mga may gusto sa kanya. Si Trist—”

“Mama!” I quickly covered her mouth before she could finish. “Daldal mo, grabe! Pasok na tayo sa loob.”

I turned to Jazzi, who was trying not to laugh, and gestured toward the door.

“Come on, before she says something even more embarrassing.”

Jazzi grinned and followed us in, clearly enjoying every second of my misery.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

I helped Jazzi settle her things in my room while Mama was busy preparing dinner outside. Kanina ko pa siya kinukulit na lumabas para tumulong, pero mas interesado yata siya sa kwarto ko kaysa sa pagkain. She kept glancing around as if the four corners of my room were some kind of museum exhibit she needed to study.

Pati ba naman ‘yung color combination ng walls, kinuwestyon? Tinatanong pa kung saan daw inspired. Hindi ba pwedeng iyon lang ang available na pintura? Wala nang malalim na dahilan.

“Haven’t we talked about this already?” I asked, crossing my arms while leaning on the doorway. “Hindi ka ba lalabas? Tapos na maghain si Mama, for sure.”

“Will your mother like me?” Jazzi asked out of nowhere, her voice small and uncertain. “Kanina kasi, she didn’t even smile at me after mo akong i-introduce. Do you think something’s wrong?”

I chuckled softly. “Beats me. Pero paano mo malalaman kung ayaw sa ’yo ni Mama kung dito ka lang nakatago?”

“I just…” She trailed off, glancing down at her hands. “I want her to like me.” Then she looked up, eyes a bit hesitant. “Should I change into something more lively?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, half-exasperated, half-amused. “Jazzi, I told you already—you don’t have to pretend. Mama will like you as long as you’re genuine. Hindi ba ganon din si Tita Azi?”

She shook her head, smiling faintly. “Mommy likes everyone. Pero plus points if you’re authentic.”

“Then you’re fine.” I reached for her hand and tugged her gently toward the door. “Tara na, baka malamig na ‘yung ulam.”

Mama was already done setting the table by the time we stepped out. The air smelled like sizzling pork and calamansi—sisig.

“Kumakain ka ba ng sisig?” Mama asked as soon as we sat down. “Masarap ako magluto niyan. Tapos natikman mo na ba luto ni Asta? Naku! Ang sarap din magluto niyan!”

Jazzi turned to me, eyes wide. “Hindi ko po alam na nagluluto si Asta.”

I scoffed. “Tapos ano? Ako na lang lagi magluluto? Ay no.” I grabbed the ladle and scooped rice onto my plate.

“Next time, paglutuan mo siya,” Mama teased, then turned to Jazzi. “So, ano ba gusto mong qualities ng asawa mo? Maganda? Matalino? Magaling magluto?”

Napatingin ako agad. “Ma…”

Jazzi just smiled, soft and sure. “Someone who can make me feel at peace.” She said it while looking at me.

I tried not to react. I focused on my food instead, kahit ramdam kong gumaan bigla ‘yung atmosphere sa mesa.

From there, the conversation drifted naturally. Mama started asking about Jazzi’s school, her hobbies, her family—puro papuri, as if she was already impressed. She even found ways to drag me into the conversation just to say we were alike, kahit hindi naman tinatanong ni Jazzi.

Then Mama started talking about someone who apparently reminded her of Jazzi—Tristan. The guy I used to like back in high school. The same guy who never liked me back. It was a ridiculous crush, one of those phases you cringe about later on. He was too serious, too unreachable, and I was too… me. Eventually, I moved on. I had to. I left for Manila, and he found a girlfriend.

It was an almost. That’s all we ever were. And me? I honestly couldn’t care less now.

After dinner, I decided to wash the dishes, half to give Mama and Jazzi space to talk more, half to calm the strange flutter in my chest. Their conversation drifted from laughter to something quieter. When I turned around, Mama’s voice was softer.

“Anak ka ni Mazy Astrea, ‘di ba?” she asked.

Tita Azi’s full name. My mind clicked in recognition.

Then Mama’s tone changed, more serious this time. “Bata pa kayo. Hindi niyo dapat minamadali ang lahat.”

I froze, the plate in my hand still dripping.

“Pero tita—” Jazzi started, but Mama raised a hand.

“Jazzi, anak,” Mama said, voice calm but firm. “Hindi naman sa ayaw ko sa ’yo para sa anak ko. To be honest, swerte nga kayo sa isa’t isa. Pero kasi…” She sighed, fingers lightly tapping the table. “Nakikita niyo naman ang agwat niyo, ‘di ba? Ayokong magmukhang kawawa anak ko sa paningin ng iba. Ayokong maging laman siya ng mga chismis dahil lang pumatol siya sa ’yo.”

“Tita, you don’t have to worry,” Jazzi replied, her tone steady but respectful. “Mommy’s not like that. Gustong-gusto nga po niya si Asta—”

“I know. Mabait si Azi, at lalo na ‘yung asawa niya. Hindi sila ang tinutukoy ko.” Mama lowered her gaze, her voice barely above a whisper. “’Yung mga tao na nakapaligid sa inyo. Jazzi, ayokong—”

“Tita,” Jazzi interrupted gently, “I won’t let Asta feel that way. I won’t let anyone talk about her. And besides, hindi naman po ako aasa sa magulang ko once we graduate. Tita, I mean it—”

Mama let out a small laugh. “Makapagsalita ka parang sigurado ka na sa anak ko.”

There it was—her teasing tone again. Typical Mama. Always knows how to ease the tension.

Jazzi smiled back, hesitant but sincere. “Tita, pwede ko po bang ligawan anak ninyo?”

I almost dropped the plate.

What the hell, Jazzi?

Akala ko ba huwag magmadali? Bakit parang siya pa ‘yung nagmamadali ngayon? Was this her idea of making a point? Or was she just jealous?

Mama laughed again, patting her shoulder. “Siya ang tanungin mo. Since dinala ka niya rito, panigurado papayag ‘yon. Hindi naman mahirap makuha si Asta. Bilhan mo lang ng kwek-kwek, tapos—”

“Ang dami niyong kwento,” I interrupted, drying my hands with the dish towel. “Tapos na ako maghugas ng plato, pero itong kaldero hindi pa natatakpan. Hay nako.”

When I looked up, Jazzi’s gaze met mine. She wasn’t grinning or frowning. She was just looking—steady, deep, and honest.

“Bakit?” I furrowed my brows.

“I like you,” she said simply.

Those damn three words. The ones I’ve been waiting for—dreaming about—for what felt like forever.

And suddenly, I couldn’t speak. My mind went blank, my heart stupidly loud. I just stared at her, half in disbelief, half in awe, still trying to process that it finally happened.

That she finally said it.

Chapter Text

Early that morning, the first thing I saw when I stepped outside was Jazzi helping my mom feed the ducks. The sight instantly made me laugh. The city girl from Manila—who probably never even stepped on muddy ground without sneakers—was now crouched down beside the small pond, tossing grains like she’d done it all her life.

I knew she once had a pet chicken, but feeding an entire flock of ducks was an entirely different story. Especially when the ducks decided that chasing her around for more food was part of the fun.

“Jazzi, maligo ka na. Tapos pupunta tayong palengke,” Mama instructed, voice carrying that no-nonsense tone she always used in the mornings.

“Yes po, Ma,” Jazzi answered obediently, smiling at her like a well-trained daughter-in-law.

Napataas talaga kilay ko. Nakikimama? Dalawa na ngang nanay niya, gusto pa ata ng bonus round. Hindi kaya siya karmahin niyan?

“Sabay tayo?” I teased, leaning against the post with a grin.

“Bolang,” she muttered without looking at me.

Nanlaki agad mata ko. My jaw dropped as laughter burst out of me. Since when did she even learn that word? Si Mama lang talaga ang may ganyang impluwensya. Kung ano-ano pang tinuturo.

“Alam mo ba ibig sabihin niyan?” I asked, blocking her path as I crossed my arms, eyebrows raised.

“Yep. And let me through, amoy feeds ako,” she said, trying to push past me. May bahid na ng inis sa boses niya, but her cheeks were flushed, half from the morning sun, half from embarrassment.

I stepped aside, still laughing. Cute niya magalit.

A few minutes later, I found myself alone. I waited for them to finish taking a bath, but when I came back to the porch, both of them were already heading out—Mama with her basket, Jazzi with an eco bag slung across her arm.

They didn’t even say goodbye.

Excuse me? Akala ko ba nililigawan niya ako? Bakit parang si Mama ang nililigawan niya ngayon?

“Asta,” Mama called out before leaving. “Mamaya pala dadating si Tristan. Bibili raw ng itlog. Ikaw na bahala.”

“Tristan?” Jazzi asked, halting mid-step. “Dito po?”

“Oo.” Mama nodded.

“Malaki na po kayo, tita. Kaya niyo na mamalengke mag-isa,” Jazzi replied, handing the eco bag back with a mischievous smile.

I burst into laughter when Mama’s expression turned into that signature glare of hers.

Jazzi quickly hid behind me, clutching my shoulders as if I could shield her from divine punishment. The scene was too funny—I had to stop myself from snorting.

“Sumama ka na,” I told her, patting the hand resting on my shoulder. “Kaya ko naman mag-isa here.”

“Alam ko,” she murmured, pouting slightly. “Ako… hindi ko kaya.”

“Hindi mo kaya kasi magseselos ka?” I teased, raising a brow.

She didn’t answer.

Mama sighed, shaking her head. “Sige na, kayo na bahala ha,” she said before finally heading off.

When I turned back, Jazzi’s eyes were still on the road, a faint crease forming on her forehead.

“I just want to know who Tristan is before leaving you alone with him,” she muttered under her breath, clearing her throat. “And I’m not jealous, ha. Why would I be? I’m your… kaluguran.”

Her pronunciation made me chuckle. “Kaluguran? Are you sure that’s what you meant? Mukha tuloy kaibigan mo lang ako.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Good,” I said, leaning closer and smiling. “Because I only have eyes on you, okay? Hindi mo kailangan magselos kahit kanino.”

Her lips curved into a small smile.

We spent the next hour preparing the duck eggs Tristan ordered. She helped me count and arrange them carefully in trays, humming quietly while she worked. I watched her, half in awe, half in disbelief.

I really thought Jazzi would give up after a day here. The province was far from the world she was used to. No malls nearby, no fancy cafés, no restaurants where you could order pasta with foreign-sounding names. Just fields, fresh air, and the occasional goat wandering past the fence.

Unlike Paris—where she was supposed to go with her parents. She could’ve been sipping wine by the Seine, but instead, she was here… counting duck eggs with me in a small bamboo hut.

“All done,” she said, wiping the sweat from her forehead. The heat made her skin glisten, and a strand of hair stuck to her cheek. “Ano pang gagawin?”

I didn’t answer. I was too busy watching her move, too caught up in the image of her blending into this life so effortlessly.

“Your mom will definitely kill me if she finds out ang dami kong pinapagawa sa ’yo,” I said, finally stepping closer. I reached for a towel and gently dabbed her forehead. “Kakaligo mo lang, pawis ka na naman.”

“It’s fine,” she said softly. “Hindi na bago ‘to. When I was a kid, nagbabakasyon din kami sa province, sa place ni Lola.”

Then she looked at me, smiling faintly. “Kanina mo pa pinupunasan pawis ko. Meron pa ba?”

Before I could answer, she caught my wrist and leaned in slowly, her face dangerously close.

“None,” I whispered, my voice suddenly shallow. “I just want to be close to you.”

Her breath hitched. Mine did too.

“What’s your perfume? How come you smell good all the time?” I asked, trying to sound playful but failing miserably.

Jazzi chuckled, the sound soft and low. “Is this how you flirt, Ms. Abueva?”

“I’m not flirting with you, Ms. Rivera,” I said with a smirk. “You’re already down bad. Kailangan ko pa bang landiin ka?”

“Ang yabang mo,” she murmured, smiling as she leaned even closer. Our faces were just inches apart now. My heart stuttered.

“FYI—” she started, but—

“Asta!”

A familiar voice called out from the gate.

I froze. Instinct took over—I immediately pushed Jazzi away.

It wasn’t on purpose. Nagulat lang ako. But the look on her face—the brief flicker of hurt before she looked away—made my chest twist painfully.

When I turned to the gate, Tristan was standing there, carrying his usual easy grin.

“Nasaan na order ko?” he asked.

It was strange. He never used to smile at me like that before. Back in high school, he was all cold stares and polite disinterest.

“Ah, inayos na namin ni Jazzi,” I said, glancing back—only to realize Jazzi was gone.

My heart sank. Did I offend her?

“Sino ’yon?” Tristan asked, picking up a tray. “Pinsan mo? Wala pa akong nakikitang kamag-anak mo ever since. Ngayon pa lang.”

“She’s my soon-to-be girlfriend, Tan,” I said with a shy smile.

Tristan froze mid-step. His expression shifted, the grin fading into confusion.

“Babae?” he asked. “You’re into girls?”

“Yeah. Why?” I asked casually, pretending to be busy adjusting the tray. “Jazzi’s cute. Kind. Gentle. Though minsan may topak, but she’s nice.”

He frowned slightly. “There was a girl who confessed to you before. Sabi mo ayaw mo sa kanya. Tapos ako lang gusto mo kasi hindi kita gusto?”

I looked away. His words stung a little—not because they were cruel, but because they were true.

“You know my type, Tan,” I said softly.

“But when I told you I liked you, hindi mo ako sinagot,” he said, his voice quiet now. “I asked if pwede kitang ligawan, but you didn’t answer. Was it because I liked you back?”

I sighed. Maybe that was my red flag. I only wanted people who didn’t want me. But Jazzi… she was different. She wasn’t someone I needed to chase or prove anything to. She was the kind of person I actually wanted to stay.

“But you have a girlfriend na, right?” I asked, changing the topic.

“I lied,” he said simply. “I only said that kasi gusto kong…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Nevermind. Binayaran ko na ‘to sa mama mo. Balikan ko na lang ‘yung ibang tray.”

I nodded, watching him leave. A quiet guilt settled in my chest.

When I turned around, Jazzi was standing by the doorframe, her eyes unreadable.

“Umalis na siya?” she asked.

“Galit ka pa ba?” I murmured, avoiding her gaze. “I’m sorry, hindi ko naman sinasadya na—”

“He likes you back?” she asked.

I nodded slowly. “But—”

“Will you do that to me too, Asta?”

The question hit me like a stone. My chest tightened. She wasn’t angry—but her voice trembled in a way that scared me.

“No,” I whispered. My throat burned. “No, Jazzi. I won’t.”

Tears welled in my eyes before I could even stop them. Just the thought of losing her made me want to cry.

Her expression softened instantly. She stepped forward and pulled me into a gentle hug.

“Did I scare you?” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just asking.”

Then she kissed the top of my head.

“Sorry,” she repeated, her voice breaking slightly.

And for a moment, the world outside faded into the background.

All I could feel was her heartbeat against mine.

“Tristan and I…” I started, my voice soft, the memory almost hazy in my mind. “We almost had a label back then because he finally liked me back. It was the first time someone actually said it after all my efforts—that he wanted me. But before I could even give him an answer, I had to leave for Manila to study. So instead of explaining myself, I just… ghosted him.”

I let out a quiet breath, watching the faint shift in Jazzi’s expression. “And the real reason why I did that wasn’t because I was scared,” I added. “It was because I didn’t feel the excitement anymore.”

Her brows drew together. “Your feelings fade?”

I nodded slowly, almost ashamed to admit it. “I swear I liked him. I really did. But the moment he confessed—when I finally heard the words I thought I’d been waiting for—parang may pumutok sa loob ko. Everything just… disappeared. Like the more real it became, the more I realized that maybe it wasn’t love at all. Maybe it was just the thrill of almost.”

Jazzi didn’t speak. She only looked at me, eyes searching mine, as if she wanted to understand what kind of person could love so deeply and suddenly stop.

Then, quietly, she asked, “Then what about last night? I confessed.”

Her voice trembled just slightly, and I could feel the weight behind it. “Did your feelings fade too?”

My chest tightened. No. Never.

There was something about Jazzi that I couldn’t let go of, no matter how hard I tried. Something magnetic, something maddening. Kahit anong gawin niya, tama sa paningin ko. Even when she hurt me, I found myself making excuses for her. Even when she left me hanging, I still stayed. That was how much she had me—how much I wanted to be with her.

I’d been waiting for this—for her—to happen. For the moment when I could finally say that what I felt wasn’t just a fleeting spark. Because maybe, after all this time, I wasn’t looking for fireworks anymore. Maybe I was just looking for her.

I leaned in instinctively, drawn by the warmth of her presence, by the way her eyes softened when they met mine. I was so close I could feel her breath ghost against my skin. I wanted to kiss her—to close the distance that had always been there between us—but the thought of our label, stopped me. I froze.

“Anong ginagawa mo?” Jazzi whispered, her tone low, careful, almost teasing—but there was curiosity there too.

I couldn’t answer. My throat tightened, my mind went blank. Nasspeechless ako sa titig niya.

Should I tell her everything? Should I say it now—that she’s the only one who ever made me feel like I was standing still in a world that kept spinning? That she’s the first person I didn’t want to unlove, no matter how terrifying it felt? But what if she thought I was being dramatic? What if she thought I was just... obsessed?

“Hey,” she said softly, voice turning husky, intimate. She reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, her fingertips brushing against my skin so gently it almost burned. Her eyes never left mine. “You okay?”

I still couldn’t speak. I didn’t trust my voice not to betray me.

Then she smiled—a small, deliberate curve of her lips that felt like a promise. “I won’t let your feelings fade, Asta.”

And before I could even react, she added, “I’ll do everything to make you fall for me over and over again.”

Chapter Text

Every day felt like a small adventure with Jazzi. She was like a burst of color in the slow rhythm of the province—restless, curious, and always wanting to do more than what was necessary. I showed her the palaisdaan, the palayan, the humble corners of our life here. And of course, she wanted to try everything.

When she saw the rice fields, she begged Mama to let her plant. As if her freshly manicured hands could survive a day in the mud. Buti na lang hindi siya pinayagan ni Mama—unang-una, hindi naman namin palay ‘yon. Our family only managed the duck egg business. Every morning, we fed the ducks, collected the eggs, and packed them for delivery.

Pero para kay Jazzi, hindi sapat ‘yon.

She wanted more.

Promise, ako na ‘yung napapagod kahit siya ‘yung gumagalaw.

"Dalhin mo nga ‘yang girlfriend mo sa labas," Mama grumbled one morning, sipping her coffee with that familiar exasperated tone. "Napapagod na ako mag-isip ng ipapagawa. Paggising ko, tapos na lahat! Wala na akong ginawa. Kulang na lang gumawa ako ng balut—"

"Gagawa po kayong balut?" Jazzi suddenly appeared from the bathroom, freshly showered, towel draped over her shoulders, eyes bright and curious.

Mama gave her a deadpan look. "Oo. Ikaw gagawin kong sisiw."

I couldn’t help but laugh when Jazzi frowned like a scolded child.

"’Wag mo na ‘yan patulan, Ma." I chuckled and reached for Mama’s hand. "Magmamangga na lang kami. Gusto mo Indian o ‘yung kalabaw?"

Jazzi turned to us, eyes widening. "May kalabaw?"

I grinned, amused. "It’s just a term. May iba’t ibang types ng mangga—Indian, Pico, Philippine mango, which we call carabao, and apple mango."

Jazzi blinked. "Then what’s the Mangifera indica?"

"Ilayo mo muna sa ‘kin si Jazzi, anak," Mama muttered, already standing up with her coffee mug. "Sumasakit ulo ko."

I burst out laughing as Mama walked out of the kitchen.

"Basta, mangga pa rin ‘yon," I explained, shaking my head. "Alam mo ‘yung kubo na pinagpahingahan natin kahapon? Hintayin mo ‘ko doon. Maghahanap lang ako ng panungkit."

"Okay!" Jazzi nodded eagerly and headed out.

Her excitement was contagious. I swear, para siyang bata sa amusement park. Kung hindi lang maraming antik (at hindi ako sigurado kung kaya niyang makipaglaro sa mga langgam at alupihan doon), baka pinaakyat ko na siya sa puno. Marunong naman siyang umakyat—at bumagsak, most likely.

As I stepped outside to look for a bamboo stick, I noticed Tristan walking up the narrow path toward our house. The sight of him surprised me—his clean polo sticking to his back from the heat, his smile gentle but nervous.

"Napapadalas na pagbili ng itlog niyan. Pinupurga ba niya sarili niya?" Mama muttered under her breath.

I choked back a laugh. "Baka binibenta niya, Ma."

Mama squinted at Tristan, then at me. "Ang yaman-yaman nila, kailangan pa niya ng business?"

I shrugged. "Jazzi’s parents are filthy rich too, pero nagbi-business pa rin sila. Maybe it runs in rich people’s blood—doing things they don’t need to do."

Before Mama could answer, Tristan reached us, catching his breath.

"I’m glad naabutan kita today," he said with a smile that looked both relieved and hesitant. "Kada punta ko rito, sabi ni tita umalis ka raw."

"Ah, may ginagawa lang ako," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "Why? May kailangan ka?"

"Oorder ulit ako ng eggs," he said. "And I’ll help you count na rin, para mabilis."

Before I could respond, Mama gave me a knowing look and gestured toward the small kubo near the pond. "Sige na. Doon na kayo. Pagbentahan mo na."

So I did. Even if part of me wanted to run after Jazzi. She could wait for a bit, I told myself. This wouldn’t take long.

Tristan and I started sorting the duck eggs into trays, the faint smell of mud and sunlight surrounding us. The rhythm was quiet, calm—like the days we used to spend together back in high school.

"Will you be here sa prusisyon?" Tristan asked suddenly, glancing up. "Samahan mo ‘ko magsimba."

I raised a brow. "Kailan ‘yon? Sa holy week?"

"Yeah," he said, smiling faintly.

"Tagal pa ‘yon." I chuckled. "I don’t know. Depende sa schedule namin. Around April pa ‘di ba? Eh magpapasko pa lang."

He nodded, lips quirking. "I just wanted to ask early. Baka maunahan na naman ako."

I froze mid-count. My fingers stilled on the tray.

For a moment, I didn’t know what to say.

To be honest, Tristan was everything good about the world in one person. A walking forest—calm, kind, endlessly green. Back in high school, tahimik lang siya. Not because he was shy, but because he didn’t trust easily. He thought everyone wanted something from him. So I tried to prove that I didn’t. That I liked him for who he was.

And for a time, I did.

But the moment he liked me back… something inside me dimmed.

"I love Jazzi, Tan," I said quietly. "If you’re buying eggs just to help me change my mind, you’re wasting your time."

He looked at me, expression unreadable. Then he shook his head. "I’m not doing this for that. I just want to help you and your mom. Besides, I give these eggs to balut vendors around the plaza. Masyado nang mahal bilihin, nalulugi na sila. I figured I could help a little."

"Tan, you’re helping too many people," I murmured, half-smiling. "I’m sure someone out there will appreciate what you’re doing."

He shrugged. "It’s fine. As long as you do, I’m fine."

My chest tightened a little. I looked up at him, meeting his soft brown eyes. "I appreciate you, Tan."

He smiled faintly. "Thank you, Asta. And don’t worry—I’m not here to bother you. I know it’s been years, and you’ve really moved on."

He paused.

"But I have one favor."

"Hm?"

"Can you stay still for a while?"

I frowned. "Why?"

"So that I can look at you," he said softly. His voice cracked just slightly. "Just… let me have a look at you."

Something in my chest tugged. Maybe guilt. Maybe nostalgia.

I nodded slowly and let the silence fill the air between us. His gaze lingered longer than I expected—gentle, almost reverent, as if memorizing every detail before letting it go.

And for a moment, I forgot that someone else was out there waiting for me.

Someone who never needed to look twice to see me.

Someone who already did.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

"Jazzi!" I called the moment I reached the kubo where she was waiting.

She was sitting on the bamboo bench, one leg bent, the other dangling lazily. In her hand was an Indian mango—half-peeled, half-bitten. And she wasn’t even using a knife. The girl was biting the skin off like it was an apple.

I frowned. "Hinugasan mo ba ‘yan? May dagta ‘yan, baka masugat ‘yung bibig mo."

Jazzi didn’t even look at me. "I’m not stupid, Asta," she said flatly before taking another bite, the sourness scrunching her nose for half a second. "Are you done?"

"What?" I blinked, confused.

That’s when I noticed it—the shift in her tone, the tightness in her shoulders. Jazzi wasn’t smiling anymore. The playful light in her eyes was gone, replaced by something sharp, something she was trying hard to hide but couldn’t. The air between us felt heavier than usual, like humidity before the rain.

Did she see me with Tristan? Did she think I ditched her to talk to him?

"Are you mad?" I asked carefully.

She averted her gaze, grabbed the panungkit from my hand, and stepped out of the kubo. Her silence was louder than anything she could’ve said. I followed her.

"Look, Tristan came over to order eggs," I explained quickly. "Tinulungan niya lang ako magbilang. It wasn’t—"

"I am not mad, Asta," she interrupted, tugging on the bamboo stick and pretending to focus on the mangoes above. "Save your explanation. I don’t need it."

"You are, Jaz." I sighed, exasperated. "Are you jealous? Because I already told you, Tristan and I—"

"I said I’m not." Her voice was quiet but trembling, like she was barely holding herself together.

"Then bakit hindi mo ako matingnan?" I asked, stepping closer.

That stopped her. Slowly, Jazzi turned to me, her eyes meeting mine. Her brows were drawn together, her jaw tight. But underneath all that anger was something else—fear, maybe. Or pain. It was like she wanted to say something, but didn’t know how without breaking.

"Did I make you feel less important?" I asked softly, cupping her cheeks. "Did you feel that way, Jaz?"

Her expression wavered. She gently removed my hands from her face, shaking her head, though her lips quivered. "I am not mad. Nor jealous."

"Then what?" My voice cracked a little. "Why are you acting like this?"

She sighed, biting her lower lip. Her eyes darted everywhere except me. "I’m just… curious," she said after a long pause. "Why were you looking at him like that?"

My breath hitched. "Like what?"

"Like nanghihinayang ka," Jazzi murmured, her voice so small it almost got lost in the breeze. "Na parang may pinagsisihan ka sa nangyari sa inyong dalawa."

"I don’t—" I stopped myself and exhaled hard. "Jaz, you know I love you, right?"

She froze. Then she shook her head lightly, like she couldn’t believe it.

Damn it. She was too cute for her own good. Every time she looked at me like that—innocent, unsure, pouty—I forgot how to breathe.

"I do love you, silly!" I said, glaring playfully, though my heart was pounding like hell.

"But you don’t look at me the same way you looked at him," she whispered.

"It was guilt, Jaz," I said firmly. "I felt sorry for him. Because I hurt him. Because I made him hope. Because I made him wait for something I could never give. That’s all. I was just sorry."

Jazzi didn’t say anything. She just turned her back again and used the panungkit to reach for another mango, pretending not to hear me. So I walked up to her, and snatched the stick from her hands.

"Are you still mad?" I asked.

"I told you, I’m not."

"Then look me in the eyes, kasi!" I raised my voice, frustrated.

And she did.

In a heartbeat, she turned—too fast, too close. Our faces almost collided. I could feel the ghost of her breath on my lips, warm and uneven. Her eyes were burning, searching mine like she was trying to find proof of what I just said.

Good lord, ang lapit niya!

She didn’t look away this time. Her gaze dropped to my lips, then back up. Her breathing grew shallow.

"Push me, Asta," she whispered. "Push me now."

My pulse spiked. "Kapag ba tinulak kita, hindi ka na magagalit?" I asked, my voice low, barely steady. "Will you believe me then—that I love you?"

Jazzi’s fingers brushed against my waist before gripping me tightly, pulling me in until our bodies almost touched. Her eyes glinted with something reckless. "Push me," she repeated, breathless.

I swallowed, heart thundering in my chest. Then I smiled, helplessly.

"I fucking love you, idiot," I muttered before sliding my hand behind her neck and pulling her in—closing the space, the doubt, the distance.

Our lips collided in a kiss that was messy and real and burning with all the things we never said right. It wasn’t soft, but it wasn’t harsh either—it was alive. It tasted like mango and morning air, like sweetness cut by something wild. She clung to me as if she finally found her home, and maybe she did.

Maybe we both did.

When we finally pulled apart, breathless and smiling, she still looked mad—but softer now, her eyes glinting like sunlight breaking through rain.

"You dropped the stick," she whispered.

"Yeah," I said, brushing my thumb over her swollen lip. "I found something better to pick."

Chapter Text

We couldn’t even look at Mama. Parang biglang nawala lahat ng lakas ng tuhod ko the moment her voice sliced through the silence.

Reason? She caught us. Under the mango tree pa — her favorite one, ‘yung lagi niyang pinagyayabang na siya raw nagtanim noon noong bata pa siya which is definitely not true. The irony of it all almost made me laugh, but my throat was too tight for that.

Wala naman sanang kaso. It wasn’t like we were doing anything that bad… except that she asked if we were together. Kami na raw ba?

To answer her question—no.
But we kissed.

And the thing is, she told me before not to kiss anyone unless that person’s already my partner. Strictly. Paulit-ulit pa nga. So now, here we were—speechless, staring at the floor, pretending na may biglang interesting sa sahig.

Madali lang sana kung oo na lang ang sagot. But no. We weren’t there yet. Let’s be honest, flirting is fun, teasing is fun—pero iba ‘pag relationship na. May kasamang responsibility, may expectations, may bigat. And I don’t think either of us was ready for that.

Because if Jazzi was ready…

“Papanagutan kita.”

I froze. Then turned to her slowly, half in disbelief, half in panic.

Nanlaki talaga mata ko. Did she even know what she just said? Alam ba niya ibig sabihin no’n sa harap ni Mama? For a moment, I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cover her mouth.

Mama pressed her lips together, trying so hard not to burst out laughing. She bit the inside of her cheek, turned away, and pretended to fix something on the table—classic sign na pinipigilan lang niya sarili niya.

“Jaz,” I said, exhaling sharply, fighting the urge to grin. “Please.”

She was smart—brilliant, even—but sometimes, she was so adorably clueless.

“Ang sabi ni Mama…” I pursed my lips, trying to hold in a laugh. “Ano raw?”

When I finally looked at Mama, tapos nagkatinginan kami, that was it. We both lost it. Lahat ng pagpipigil, sabay kaming napatawa. And poor Jazzi just stood there, eyes darting between us, confused and blushing.

“Jazzi, halika rito.” Mama gestured for her to come closer, her voice softer now, like she was trying hard not to smile.

Jazzi obeyed, hesitant, almost childlike in the way she walked forward. “Ang ibig kong sabihin,” Mama started, “hindi kayo dapat magkiss kung wala naman kayo. Hindi mo naman kailangang panagutan si Asta. Wala namang—”

“I mean, paninindigan ko po siya,” Jazzi said quickly, her voice small but steady.

Napahinto si Mama. For a second, she blinked at her, eyes wide, mouth slightly open. Then she sighed, the kind that carried both amusement and exhaustion. “Bata ka pa,” she finally said, tone half-warning, half-gigil.

“Ilang taon po ba dapat para malaman kung seryoso ‘yung tao?” Jazzi asked, tilting her head, her eyes curious and unshaken.

And just like that, Mama fell silent.

I had to step in before that conversation spiraled into a philosophical debate. “Mama’s just worried about us, Jaz,” I said gently. “She’s right, though. We shouldn’t do things na ginagawa ng lovers if we’re not even one.” I bit my lip. “Sorry, I was the one who initiated it.”

Mama gave me that look—the one that could peel your soul without a single word. She gestured for me to follow her. Walang choice, sumunod ako.

We went inside her bedroom, and the moment she closed the door, the air changed. Biglang lumamig. The light from the window fell across her face, cutting through the serious expression she always wore whenever she switched from Mom to General Mama mode.

“Anong sinabi ko sa ’yo?” she asked quietly, her tone controlled but firm.

I looked down, tracing random patterns sa sahig with my toe. “Ma, babae rin si Jazzi,” I started carefully. “Besides, we know our limitations. Hindi naman ako matutulad—”

I stopped. That wasn’t the right sentence. My chest tightened, and the words hung between us, unfinished.

She didn’t reply, but I saw how her eyes softened just a bit. I knew how sensitive she was when it came to things like this—because of what happened with her and Dad.

She took a deep breath, then changed the subject. “Dalhin mo si Jazzi bukas sa ano… birthday ni Kap. Invited tayo. Si Jazzi na lang isama mo.”

I frowned. “Hindi ka sasama? Eh ishiship ko pa naman sana kayo ni Kap.”

Agad niyang tinapik ulo ko—medyo malakas pa. “Ouch!” I yelped, laughing as I dodged her next swing.

Tumakbo ako palabas ng kwarto habang tumatawa. “Mag-asawa ka na kasi, Ma! Kaya ka malungkot!”

“Hindi ko kailangan ’non,” she shouted back. “Sakit lang sa ulo!”

I turned just in time to see her face soften again when she noticed Jazzi standing by the door, looking lost.

“Pati po ako?” Jazzi asked innocently, her voice almost apologetic.

Mama smiled, eyes crinkling as she reached out to tousle her hair. “Lalo ka na,” she teased, laughing softly.

Jazzi pouted, making Mama laugh even harder. Then she pulled Jazzi in for a hug, patting her shoulder gently.

“Alagaan mo anak ko, ha? Kapag ito umuwing umiiyak, ikaw paiiyakin ko,” Mama said, half-serious, half-joking.

“Paano po kung ako ang pinaiyak?” Jazzi asked, still muffled in Mama’s shoulder.

“Magsumbong ka sa mama mo.”

We all burst out laughing.

And for a brief moment, everything felt light again. Parang hindi kami muntik mapagalitan kanina. Kawawa naman si Jazzi—naaapi, bawi na lang siya pagbalik namin sa Manila.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Later that afternoon, I decided to stay inside my room. Tahimik lang. The air felt heavy with the late-day heat, and I could hear faint laughter from outside — Mama’s voice blending with Jazzi’s. Magpapatulong daw si Mama sa kanya, kaya hinayaan ko na silang dalawa. I didn’t even peek through the window; I just lay there, listening to the sound of their voices drifting in and out, like a soft rhythm that oddly made the house feel warmer.

To be honest, Jazzi was enjoying every bit of it. She laughed in that genuine way she always did, like she actually meant it — no pretensions, no awkwardness. Hindi rin siya nahihirapan sa mga gawain, para bang sanay na sanay siya. I could almost picture her, sleeves rolled up, hair slightly messy, smiling like house chores were the best thing in the world.

I wondered tuloy what her life was like before. She mentioned once that she lived in the province for a while — maybe that’s where she learned all that. Yung mga simpleng bagay na karamihan sa atin nakakalimutan. The kind of life that didn’t rush, that smelled like soap, wind, and rice fields.

When the clock struck six, lumabas na ako ng kwarto para mag-ready magluto. Since they were still busy outside, ako na lang ang magluluto. First time ni Jazzi matitikman ‘yung luto ko — at kung magreklamo siya, swear, hindi na siya pwedeng bumalik dito kahit kailan.

“As…ta.”

I turned. Jazzi was walking toward me, shoulders slumped, parang pagod na pagod. Medyo basa pa siya, may mga talsik ng tubig sa braso at leeg, and I frowned instinctively.

“You okay?” I asked.

She only nodded, lips slightly parted as she sighed, looking like she could collapse any second.

“You should rest. You look exhausted. And is that sweat?”

Jazzi shook her head weakly. “Naglaba kami ng mama mo. She told me na magkusot, so I did. Nabasa lang ako, but we’re done na.” Then she smiled — small, proud, tired.

There was something so soft about her right then. I could feel it — the way she wanted to lean on me, pero pinipigilan niya kasi basa pa siya. So I reached for her hand and gently pulled it around my waist, inviting her closer.

“Halika,” I whispered.

And she gave in. She buried her face into the crook of my neck, and I smiled without meaning to. Ganito pala siya mapagod — tahimik, clingy, baby.

Magagalit kaya si Tita Azi kapag hindi ko na binalik anak niya?

I chuckled softly at my thought, my hand brushing her damp hair.

“Teka,” I said after a beat, the realization finally sinking in. “Bakit nagkusot ka? May front load washing machine kami ah?”

Jazzi’s whole body stiffened. She slowly pulled away, eyes blinking fast — guilty.

“Anong niluluto mo?” Mama’s voice broke the moment. She just entered the kitchen, eyebrows raised.

Jazzi turned to her. “May washing machine kayo?”

Mama smiled faintly, trying not to laugh. “Bakit? Napagod ka?”

Jazzi looked at me, then back at Mama. “Napagod po ako emotionally,” she muttered before suddenly hugging me again, as if to hide from the teasing.

“Sa akin ka tatabi mamaya. Hayaan mo ‘yan si Tita,” she whispered near my ear, her breath warm against my skin.

“Narinig ko ‘yon,” Mama said with a chuckle.

“Magluluto muna ako,” I told her, shaking my head, smiling. “You should change before ka sipunin.”

Jazzi nodded, then glanced at Mama. “Buti na lang hindi ko kinusot nang mabuti ‘yung damit,” she mumbled while walking away — just loud enough for Mama to hear.

“Hoy!” Mama exclaimed, half-laughing, half-chasing her.

I laughed so hard my sides hurt.

After dinner, Mama insisted na siya na mag-aayos ng lahat. “Magpahinga na kayong dalawa,” she said, waving us off. Pero dahil makulit kami ni Jazzi, we went to the kubo instead — our quiet spot under the sky. Buti na lang hindi malamok ngayon. Otherwise, baka bukas mukha na kaming tigyawat sa kagat.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” I said after a while.

Jazzi turned to me, brow furrowed. “Saan?”

“Pinaglaba ka ni Mama.”

She chuckled. “It’s fine. Nag-enjoy naman ako. And besides, nawala naman agad pagod ko.” Her eyes softened as she looked back at the palayan — golden and swaying under the dimming light.

I knew that look. The quiet kind. The one she had when she was thinking deeply but didn’t want to say anything yet. I didn’t ask. I knew her too well to push.

“About the kiss, Jazzi…” I started, hesitant. “If you’re not—”

“I told you, I like you, Asta.”

Her tone changed. Suddenly, all that softness, all her baby-like energy — gone. Jazzi was serious, eyes steady and voice certain.

I froze, staring at her. There was a calmness in her face, the kind that comes only when someone already made up their mind.

She loves differently from me. That’s what scares me. She loves fully, fearlessly — and me? I overthink. I hesitate. I hold back even when I want to stay. What if one day, I can’t give her the kind of love she deserves?

“Why are you staring at me like that?” she asked.

“Because… how can you be like this?” I whispered. “What did I do to deserve you?” My throat tightened as I looked away. Damn. Naiiyak ako.

I didn’t want to lose her. Not this time. I just wanted her to stay — to stay no matter what. Magiging selfish ba ako kung ipagdadamot ko siya sa mundo?

“I only wished for you before,” I said softly, half-laughing through the tears.

Jazzi smiled and wiped my cheeks with her thumb. “And now I’m wishing for you,” she said.

I looked at her, my chest aching in the best and worst ways.

“Every night,” she continued, voice trembling just a little. “I’m hoping you’d end up with me. We’ll be like my parents—no, better. We’ll live anywhere you want. We can go anywhere you want. I’ll do anything, as long as I get to see you after a long, tiring day.”

“Are you sure?” I whispered, a half-chuckle escaping. “I mean… I’m not perfect, Jaz. I don’t even know how—”

She stopped me by pressing her lips on mine. Just a soft, fleeting kiss.

When she pulled away, she smiled — the kind of smile that felt like home.

“I love whatever’s wrong with you, Asta,” she said, laughing quietly. “Because that’s what makes you you. So don’t worry about your flaws. I love them. I love you.”

Chapter Text

"SURPRISE!"

I nearly dropped the mug I was holding. My heart jumped out of rhythm, as if someone had thrown a firecracker inside my chest.

Standing right outside our house were Lian, Cai, and Mau—grinning like they owned the place.

Pusanggala, anong ginagawa nila rito?

"Nandito kami kasi walang ganap sa pamilya namin," Lian said, sounding a little too proud of the ambush. "We talked about it na, and we decided na dito kami magpapasko kasama ka—"

Before she could even finish, a familiar voice came from behind me.

"Sino ’yan?"

Jazzi stepped out of the house, hair slightly tousled, still wearing my oversized shirt.

Oh no.

Wait.

Sinabi ko ba sa kanila na isasama ko si Jazzi? Or nah? Kasi judging by their faces—lalo na si Cai—they looked like they’d just witnessed a plot twist.

"Ever since the ball, nandito na ’yan?" Cai asked, her eyebrows raised like she was watching live tea spill.

"Kinaya mo?" Mau teased, laughing softly.

Jazzi tilted her head, half-smiling. "What are you guys doing here?"

"I’m just here para bawiin ang asawa ko," Lian said dramatically as she reached for my hand.

Jazzi chuckled, that low, dangerous kind of laugh. Then she threw Cai a look—sharp, playful, the kind that said, kunin mo ’yung girlfriend mo bago ako ang kumalabit sa kanya.

Cai just smirked, tugged Lian back beside her, and whispered something that made Lian roll her eyes.

I sighed. Saan ko naman sila papatulugin?
Dalawa lang ang kwarto sa bahay. The living room’s big enough, pero ang awkward naman kung doon sila magpalipas ng gabi. Pwede silang magsiksikan sa kwarto ko, I guess. Maglalatag na lang ’yung dalawa sa floor.

Pero knowing Lian, sa kama talaga siya pupuwesto. Which means—guess who’ll end up on the floor? Yep. The rest of them.

"Nandyan ba si Tita sa loob?" Lian asked before walking in like she owned the place. Wala man lang pahintulot. Wala rin akong nagawa kundi sundan siya ng tingin.

Cai trailed after her, chatting about something I didn’t quite catch. I was about to follow when I realized Mau and Jazzi hadn’t moved. Turning around, I saw them facing each other—Jazzi standing firm, slightly blocking Mau’s way.

"’Wag kang mag-alala," Mau said, her voice calm, almost gentle. "I’m not here to tease you anymore."

She patted Jazzi’s shoulder lightly before stepping past her.

I smiled at Mau when our eyes met. She gave me a small smile back—soft, apologetic—and mouthed, sorry, before leaning in to press a quick kiss on my forehead. Then she darted inside the house like nothing happened.

Jazzi tensed, eyes narrowing, ready to chase her, but I caught her arm just in time.

"That kid," she muttered under her breath, clearly annoyed.

"You’re a kid too," I said, chuckling.

"But I am your woman, woman," Jazzi whispered, her tone low and deliberate.

I blinked, then sighed, shaking my head in surrender. "Yeah," I said quietly, giving in to her little claim.

I knew Jazzi wasn’t jealous anymore—at least, not like before—but she still had that tiny, territorial streak that came out in moments like this. Still, she had no reason to worry. Mau might joke around, but she’d never cross a line. She still liked Syrah anyway—never confessed to Cai kahit gusto niya noon. Ganun siya ka-loyal bilang kaibigan.

Jazzi smiled faintly, the edge of her mouth twitching. "So, I’m really your woman, huh?"

"Don’t tease me," I warned, rolling my eyes. "Baka bangasan ko ’yang maganda mong mukha."

She laughed—a soft, amused sound that warmed the quiet December air. Then she followed me inside, still smiling, like the chaos outside was just another thing she’d gladly step into with me.

“Dumami ata anak ko,” Mama muttered the moment she saw the three girls gathered around the dining table, busy devouring the breakfast she had prepared.

Lian was already familiar to her, but Cai and Mau—those two were new faces. Strangers, technically. Pero hindi naman maarte si Mama. She wasn’t the type to make guests feel like they didn’t belong. If anything, she looked pleased. After all, it had been years of just the two of us inside this house—quiet mornings, recycled stories, the kind of silence that could get a little too heavy sometimes. Kaya siguro tuwang-tuwa siya kapag may bisita, lalo na kapag maingay at magulo. It made the place feel alive again.

“Pupunta kami mamaya sa bahay ni Kap,” I said while grabbing a cup of coffee. “Pakialagaan mo muna mga alipores mo.”

Mama scoffed, fighting a laugh.

“Sama!” Lian suddenly turned to me, eyes bright. “Ikaw lang magsasaya ganon?”

“Baliw.” I rolled my eyes at her, sipping from my mug. “Maraming tao ro’n. Hindi ninyo kilala, baka ma-OP kayo.”

“Fine,” Lian sighed dramatically, as if she’d just accepted a tragic fate. “Papasama na lang kami kay Jazzi umikot dito.”

“Sasama ako kay Asta,” Jazzi muttered, her tone calm but firm, while lifting her cup to her lips. “And you guys will stay here.”

“Pwede naman sila sumama,” Mama interjected, smiling slyly at Jazzi, clearly enjoying how the girl’s expression twitched in quiet protest.

Jazzi turned to her, brows furrowing slightly, that silent plea written all over her face—please, huwag po. Mama only cleared her throat and, with that signature motherly grin, changed her mind. “Bukas na lang kayo gumala. Magpahinga muna kayo ngayon.”

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Classic Mama. She’d definitely entertain them, no doubt. Once she got comfortable, she’d start talking about every embarrassing thing I did as a kid.

Jazzi and I eventually decided to head sa room and get ready for the birthday party. Sabi kasi ni Mama, it wasn’t just an ordinary handaan—Kap was turning fifty, so of course, may program, may kainan, may inuman hanggang madaling-araw. Typical barangay festivity. We couldn’t skip it either; Mama and I were both well-known around here.

Not because of me, obviously—not even close. It was Mama. Everyone adored her. Since we moved here, half the neighborhood had tried to volunteer themselves as my potential stepfather. She always turned them down, though. “Sakit lang ’yan sa ulo,” she’d say with a laugh, waving them off like flies. “Mangako ng kasal pero hanggang kanto lang ang pangarap.”

Sometimes, I wondered if she was still waiting for my father.

Being a solo parent wasn’t easy. Alam ko ’yon. She had to work double, sometimes triple, to keep everything running—our bills, my studies, the food on the table. And yet, she never made me feel like I was a burden. She never said she was tired, even when it was written all over her face. That’s why kahit hindi kami mayaman, kahit hindi kami kagaya ng pamilya ni Jazzi, I wouldn’t trade her for anything.

“Sabihin mo kay Kap, masama pakiramdam ko at ikaw muna ang pupunta,” Mama said, smiling softly as she reached up to brush my hair away from my face. Her hand lingered for a second longer, warm and familiar.

“Nanliligaw pa rin ba sa inyo si Kap?” I asked teasingly.

She laughed quietly, shaking her head. “Hayaan mo na ’yon. Malungkot lang kasi buhay niya kaya siya ganon.”

“Edi pasayahin mo,” I chuckled.

That made her pause. Then she looked at me with that serious motherly gaze that could melt away all traces of humor.

“Hindi ka naman dapat pumapasok sa relasyon kasi malungkot ka o bored ka,” she said softly, but firmly. “Hindi ’yan pampalipas oras.”

Her words hit heavier than I expected. Parang sermon pero hindi naman galit. Just… truth, dressed in love. I nodded, suddenly too aware of the lump in my throat.

“Ready ka na?” Jazzi asked from the doorway, her voice steady but gentle.

I nodded again, this time smiling.

“Sige na. Ako na bahala sa tatlo n’yong kaibigan,” Mama said, waving her hand dismissively. “Nangunguha pa sila ng mangga sa labas. Mamaya, paglulutuin ko sila para may ginagawa.”

Jazzi chuckled under her breath while I just sighed. With Mama, there was no arguing—only surrender.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

The moment we arrived at the party, the air shifted.

Heads turned. Conversations paused for half a second, eyes trailing toward us like we were some kind of spectacle. Not because we were famous—God, no—but because we were obviously late. And not the kind of late you could quietly slip in from. The kind of late na maririnig mo pa ‘yung sarili mong hiya habang pumapasok ka.

I took one step and almost knocked over a vase near the entrance. Great. Agaw-eksena nga talaga.

“You okay?” Jazzi chuckled, steadying me with a hand on my arm.

“Yeah, nagulat lang ako sa dami ng tao,” I said, heaving a sigh while scanning the crowd for Kap. I hadn’t spotted him yet, but most of his usual drinking buddies were already here, laughing too loud over the blaring music.

“Asta!”

The familiar voice made me freeze. I turned—and there she was. Nanay Lilet. Dressed in a bright floral dress that screamed pasko sa barangay hall, clutching a clutch bag that probably cost more than our refrigerator.

“Nakauwi ka na pala? Bakit hindi ka man lang nagsabi?” she asked, her tone half-reproachful, half-sweet.

“Vacation lang po, Nay,” I smiled politely. “Then babalik na rin po sa Manila after.”

But behind her was a face that immediately made my blood pressure spike.

Her daughter. Kristine.

The girl I hated with every fiber of my being.

Back in high school, she caught me smiling at Tristan sa may aisle ng mga sabon sa grocery. The next day, she confessed to him. As in right away. Take note—she didn’t even like him. She was into girls, everyone knew that. Pero dahil nakita niyang may gusto ako, bigla niyang ginusto rin. Competitive much.

Tristan, of course, rejected her. Hindi naman niya magagamit ang rich card niya doon—pareho lang silang may kaya. Pero sa mga kaibigan ko? She used it all the time. Parang binabayaran niya sila para iwan ako. It was pathetic, really.

And yet, I ignored her. I pretended not to care. The more I did, the more it ate at her. A small victory I clung to for years.

“Ah, by the way, Nay—si Jazzi po pala.” I turned toward Jazzi, my tone softening automatically.

“Kaklase mo?” Nanay Lilet asked, smiling. “Mukhang artista ha.”

Jazzi laughed nervously. “Hi, I’m Jaze Zi—”

“Kristine!”

I froze. Kristine stepped forward, hand extended toward Jazzi before she could even finish her name.

“Nice to meet you,” Kristine said, her smile sugar-sweet, polished.

And I swear, my entire body tensed. My jaw clenched. My fists itched to land on something. Anything. Especially when Jazzi smiled back—innocently, warmly—because of course she didn’t know. She didn’t know the history.

“Tine, why don’t you tour Jazzi around?” Nanay said, turning to her daughter. “Kakausapin ko lang si Asta.”

And just like that, Kristine looped her hand through Jazzi’s arm, leading her away.

Putangina.

I wanted to curse so bad I could feel the words crawl up my throat. The sight of Kristine’s perfectly manicured fingers wrapped around Jazzi’s arm made my chest tighten in the ugliest way. Gusto kong mamaril. Kung pwede lang.

“I heard you’re studying at what university again?” Nanay asked casually, unaware that my soul was on fire.

“Ah, Ardenwood po,” I said, forcing a smile while my eyes darted toward the direction Jazzi disappeared to.

“You know what, I’m trying to transfer Kristine sa Manila. Do you think you can help her?”

I blinked, almost choking on my own patience. “Scholar lang po kasi ako ro’n, Nay. Wala rin naman po akong kilala.”

KRISTINE JUST TOOK MY WOMAN! AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO HELP HER TOO?

“But you know the requirements, right?” she pressed on.

“The requirements are on their website, po. May guide naman po roon,” I said, still smiling, still polite, but one mental breakdown away from snapping. “Excuse me po.”

I left before I could say something I’d regret.

Outside, the air was heavy with the smell of grilled pork and beer. I scanned the crowd, but no sign of them. I texted Jazzi—Where are you?—but it didn’t even deliver. Perfect.

Then I saw them. Sa may drinks area, standing too close. Laughing. Kristine was even handing Jazzi a glass, her smile too wide to be innocent.

I wanted to scream.

How could Jazzi smile like that? To her of all people? Was it because Kristine was rich? Pretty? Fluent? Tangina naman. I was prettier. I was smarter. I was—okay, maybe not richer—but still.

Instead of making a scene, I took a deep breath and walked away. Big girl ka na, Asta. You’re not the type to sulk in public. Keep it together.

But God, jealousy felt like poison. Nakakamatay talaga ang selos.

“Found you!”

Jazzi’s voice came from behind me, followed by the warmth of her arms snaking around my waist. I stiffened instantly. She smelled faintly of alcohol. Ayos, uminom pa talaga si ate.

“Uminom ka na ro’n,” I said, rolling my eyes and prying her arms off. “Bakit mo pa ’ko hinanap?”

She only laughed softly, the kind that tickled the back of my neck. But I kept walking.

As I was about to turn the corner, she suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me—hard enough that I stumbled—until my back hit the wall of the house. My breath hitched.

The night air pressed against my skin. Her hands caged me in. Her eyes, half-lidded, glimmered under the dim light bulbs strung across the backyard.

“Bakit?” I asked, trying to sound annoyed even when my pulse was hammering. “Inuna mo ’kong inisin. Edi uminom ka na lang ulit.”

“Why are you mad?”

Her voice was soft, almost fragile, but it made me angrier.

“’Wag mo ’kong intindihin. Iinom lang din ako. This will fade eventually.” I turned to leave, but she blocked me again—one hand beside my head, her body too close.

“Sasabihin mo o hahalikan kita?” she murmured.

I laughed bitterly. “No thanks. Amoy alcohol ka.”

“Astherielle Quinley.”

Her voice was suddenly lower. My full name rolled off her tongue like a command, and my knees almost buckled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why would I even tell you? Figure it out yourself.” My voice came out sharper than I intended.

Jazzi blinked, hurt flickering in her eyes before she spoke again. “I don’t know what I did. I just got along with your friend. You can tell me if you didn’t like it. I was just trying to know your world outside the university. I want to know your friends. I want to know you more, Asta.”

Her words melted something in me, but pride held it together.

“And if I didn’t tell you?” I challenged.

She leaned in until she was barely an inch away. Her breath was warm, tinged with alcohol and mint. Her eyes dropped to my lips, then rose to meet mine again.

“If you don’t, I’ll reclaim what’s mine.”

My throat went dry. “And what exactly is that?”

Jazzi smirked and traced my bottom lip with her thumb. “This.”

Before I could react, she pulled me toward the darker side of the house, half-running, half-laughing—like she was hiding from something.

“Nasaan na ba ’yon?” Kristine’s voice echoed nearby.

I glared. “You ditched her?”

“She’s not even my date,” Jazzi said defensively, grinning. “So technically, I didn’t. Where were we again?”

I rolled my eyes and playfully punched her arm. I was about to turn away when she suddenly wrapped her arms around me, tighter this time, her head resting on my shoulder.

Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Next time, don’t let them take me away from you. Kung kailangang ipagdamot mo ’ko, gawin mo.”

I froze. “You’re not even mine, Jazzi. Why would I do that?”

She looked up, her eyes soft and drowsy. “Then make me yours, Asta.”

She smiled faintly, her words slurring but sincere. “Because in my mind... I already am.”

Chapter Text

“Anong nangyari d’yan?” Lian asked the moment she saw me helping Jazzi walk through the doorway.

I gently laid Jazzi down on the couch, careful not to bump her head sa armrest. My back ached as I straightened up, massaging my lower spine with one hand. Grabe, ang bigat din pala niya. I thought she’d be light—she looked so soft and small—but damn, my arms were burning. And I didn’t want to ask for help from the guys outside. No way. Ayokong may ibang humawak kay Jazzi. Baka masuntok ko pa sila pag nagkataon.

“Why are you still awake? Tulog na ba si Mama?” I asked, trying to sound calm kahit hinihingal pa ako.

Lian nodded and reached for the mug on the coffee table. “Gusto mo tea?”

I shook my head. “No. I need to take care of her first.”

Her gaze softened as she watched me brush stray hair from Jazzi’s forehead. “Saan natulog sila Cai?”

“Nasa kubo pa. Dito na lang kami sa sala,” Lian answered before sipping her own tea. Then, with a teasing grin, she said, “Patulugin mo na si Jazzi sa kwarto mo. Mas comfortable doon.”

I paused for a second, weighing her tone. “Right,” I said finally, pretending not to catch the tease.

She helped me lift Jazzi again, and together we carried her to my room. The lights were dim—just enough for me to see her face. I took off her shoes, loosened her ponytail, and wiped the traces of makeup clinging to her cheeks. She looked so peaceful like this. So unaware of the chaos she caused inside me.

“Kayo na?” Lian suddenly asked, voice breaking the quiet.

I froze for a moment before shaking my head.

“Why not?” she pressed. “You act as if kayo na. What’s stopping you, Asta?”

What was stopping me? Maybe it was fear—fear of what happens after. I wasn’t ready to put a label on something that felt so fragile yet so complete. Ang daming what ifs sa utak ko. What if we ruin what we have just because we wanted to define it? Sometimes, silence and peace were enough. Maybe that’s the kind of love I wanted with her—unspoken, but steady.

“Let’s not talk about it,” I whispered, eyes landing again on Jazzi’s face. Her lashes trembled slightly, like she was dreaming.

Lian hummed softly before muttering, “Gene and Samien broke up.”

My head snapped toward her. “And so?” I asked, though my heartbeat began to pick up.

I knew Samien wouldn’t just break up with Gene because of someone else. She wasn’t like that. But still—why did that news make my chest tighten?

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Lian murmured and stood up, but I caught her wrist.

“What’s the reason?”

Lian froze, bit her lip, and looked down. “I don’t know.”

“You’re not a good liar,” I said softly. “Tell me the truth, Li.”

She sighed deeply before giving in. “Gene called Mau and Cai last week. She said may problema na raw sila ni Samien. Hindi niya sinabi kung ano. Then yesterday, she told us that Samien’s family visited her condo. They were looking for Jazzi.”

I frowned. “Looking for Jazzi?”

“Yeah,” Lian said carefully. “They knew Jazzi as Samien’s girlfriend. Not Gene.”

My throat went dry.

“But the cruel part,” she continued, voice barely above a whisper, “was that Samien didn’t correct them.”

I just sat there, silent. The words hung heavy between us like smoke.

“Look, I know you trust Samien. And I do too,” Lian said, eyes pleading. “Pero natatakot ako para sa inyo. What if her family came back and called Jazzi ‘Samien’s girlfriend’ again? What if, just like Samien, Jazzi goes with the flow?”

I forced a bitter chuckle. “Then let them. I’m just here to help Jazzi heal. Maybe when that time comes, she’ll realize it’s still Samien she loves.”

“Asta…”

“I experienced being loved by her,” I said quietly. My eyes burned as tears began to form. “And that’s enough, Lian. Maybe that’s enough.”

She bit her lower lip, hesitated, then left the room quietly. I knew she hated how I always settled for less. Pero ganon naman talaga ‘di ba? Kahit mahal na mahal mo ‘yung tao, minsan kailangan mong tanggapin na hindi ikaw ang sagot sa kaligayahan niya.

Tears slid down my cheeks as that truth echoed in my head. Hindi ko alam kung bakit iniisip ko pa lang, nasasaktan na ako.

Then a soft voice broke through my thoughts.

“Samien can’t tell her family about her and Gene,” Jazzi murmured.

My heart skipped. She was awake.

“Why?” I asked, my voice trembling.

“She doesn’t want to disappoint them,” she said quietly, sitting up. “Tita Sam always told her she should be with me. And until now, she couldn’t admit to them that I’m not the one she wants.”

I nodded slowly, but the tears came faster this time.

“Asta,” Jazzi whispered, reaching for my face. Her thumb brushed away my tears. “Wala kang kaagaw sa akin. I’m all yours. You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“Pero kasi…” I choked out, my voice breaking.

Jazzi chuckled softly and pulled me into her arms. “Come here, baby.” She rubbed my back, her warmth seeping into my skin. “Trust me. I’m over her. She’s over me. Hindi mo kailangang ma-insecure sa kahit kanino. In my eyes, there’s only you. My persistent little brat.”

I glared at her through the tears. “You always clear things up so easily. Parang wala tuloy akong karapatan mag-overthink.”

“I hate it when you cry over things I can fix in a heartbeat,” Jazzi said, cupping my cheek gently. “My queen doesn’t deserve that.”

“At ano ang deserve ko, hm?” I raised a brow, half-teasing, half-challenging.

She smiled, that infuriating grin with teeth. “Me.”

I couldn’t help but laugh through the remnants of my tears. Nakakainis talaga. Just when I thought I’d already fallen too deep for this woman… she somehow finds a way to make me fall even deeper.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

Early in the morning, Jazzi told us she was going home. This time, she would be taking the three with her — Cai, Lian, and Mau. Kailangan na raw kasi siya ng parents niya, and may family reunion daw silang gaganapin this Christmas. She said it casually, like it was just another errand, but I could tell from the way her voice softened that she was a little torn about leaving.

She told me that Samien would definitely be there. For sure. They’ve been friends since childhood, almost inseparable. Nakakatakot lang isipin na baka totoo nga ang sinabi ni Lian kagabi — that maybe, just maybe, kapag tinanong silang dalawa, they would just go with the flow. Pero wala naman akong magagawa ro’n, diba? I had no right to interfere. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. Ayoko rin namang pangunahan si Samien. Sooner or later, she’d have the courage to tell her parents about who she truly love. And if Jazzi’s stories were anything to go by, mukhang mabait naman talaga ‘yung family niya — understanding, open-minded, just waiting for her to speak up. Si Samien lang talaga ‘yung natatakot at nahihiya.

“Hindi ba ininvite din ng mommy mo si Asta?” Cai asked out of nowhere, looking at me with innocent curiosity.

Jazzi turned to me, her lips parting slightly — caught off guard. She hadn’t told me anything about that. And even if she did, I wouldn’t have gone. I had no reason to. I had a family too, and we were down to two people. Dalawa na lang kami ni Mama. I couldn’t imagine leaving her alone on Christmas.

“Sumama ka na, Asta,” Mama muttered while sipping her coffee, her voice low but firm. “Busy rin ako. Hindi ako magcecelebrate ng Christmas.”

“Edi hindi na rin ako,” I said, crossing my arms.

Mama sighed, half out of frustration, half out of resignation. She knew how stubborn I could get when I made up my mind.

“Kapag hindi ka sumama, iiwan kita rito,” she said, staring at me now, her eyes sharp yet oddly playful. “Aalis ako.”

I frowned. “Saan ka pupunta?”

She didn’t even blink. “Hahanap ng lalaki.”

The four of them — Jazzi, Cai, Lian, and Mau — laughed so hard that even Mama chuckled. Hindi talaga ako kayang seryosohin ng nanay ko.

“Edi samahan kita,” I said, grinning.

Mama raised her brows. “Hahanap ka rin?”

That made Jazzi glance at me, amused and slightly flustered. “Sumama ka na sa kanila,” Mama added, smiling faintly. “Hindi naman ako mawawala.”

“Kahit pa,” I murmured, pouting.

“Dito na lang po siya, Tita,” Lian offered sweetly. “Para may kasama rin po kayo.”

Mama didn’t argue after that. The whole group had already made the decision for me — I was staying.

By one in the afternoon, they were ready to leave. The car was waiting outside, luggage lined neatly along the driveway, the scent of excitement and farewell thick in the air. I only waved at Jazzi before she climbed in, mouthing for her to take care. She smiled, her eyes catching mine for a second longer than necessary, before she disappeared inside. Magkikita pa rin naman kami sa school after the vacation, but still — the quiet that followed their departure felt heavier than I expected.

I went back inside to find Mama at the sink, washing dishes.

“Dapat sumama ka na lang sa kanila,” she muttered without looking at me. “Kaya ko naman mag-isa, Asta.”

I leaned on the wall, folding my arms. “Why do you want me to leave so badly?” I asked, trying to sound playful, but there was a sting beneath my tone. “May iba kang anak, ‘no? Hindi na ako ‘yung favorite mo?”

Mama stopped scrubbing the plate. Her voice, when it came, was calm but cold enough to cut through the air.

“Nandito tatay mo.”

My heart stilled.

For a moment, I thought I misheard her. The words hung in the air like smoke — slow, suffocating, unreal. I blinked at her, waiting for her to take it back, to laugh, to say she was joking again like she always did. But she didn’t.

“Saan?” My voice trembled without permission.

“Parating na,” Mama sighed, drying her hands with a towel. “Noong sinabi sa akin ni Jazzi kanina ‘yung plano nila, akala ko sasama ka. Kaya tinawagan ko na tatay mo. Hindi ko alam na magpapaiwan ka.”

“Ma…” I swallowed hard. “I want to meet my father. Bakit mo siya nilalayo sa akin? Don’t tell me alam mo talaga kung nasaan siya all this time pero ayaw mong sabihin?”

“Alam ko,” she said quietly, turning to face me. “Lagi siyang nasa paligid mo, Asta. Alam niyang anak ka niya. Alam niya kung anong lagay mo, kung saan ka nag-aaral, kung ano ginagawa mo. Alam niya lahat tungkol sa ‘yo.”

“Then bakit hindi mo siya pinakilala sa akin?” I asked, my voice rising despite myself. “He’s my father, Ma. I deserve to know him.”

“Kasi…” She pressed her fingers against her temple, closing her eyes as if searching for the right words.

Before she could speak, a knock echoed through the house — steady, deliberate, and heavy.

Both of us froze.

Something in my chest twisted painfully. I didn’t even think. My feet moved on their own, my pulse drumming in my ears.

I ran to the door and opened it wide — almost desperate, almost breathless.

And there he was.

The world seemed to stop the moment I saw him. His figure filled the doorway, familiar yet impossible, like a memory I didn’t know I still had.

For a second, I couldn’t speak. My breath caught halfway, my thoughts scattering into noise.

Because the face that greeted me wasn’t that of a stranger.

It was someone I already knew. Someone who had haunted the corners of my thoughts and the edges of my fears.

What a cruel, unbearable joke.

The person I had longed to meet — the man I’d spent my whole life wishing for — was the same person my woman hated the most.

Chapter Text

Tulala.

I didn’t know what to say. As soon as I saw him standing there by the door — the man I’d been wanting to meet my whole life — I froze. My mind shut down, my body followed, and the only thing I could do was walk away. I went straight to my room, closed the door quietly, and sat on the edge of my bed, staring blankly at nothing.

As much as I wanted to run back out there, to throw my arms around him and finally say ako ‘yung anak mo, I couldn’t move. My heart ached from wanting, but my body refused to follow. It was like my brain couldn’t reconcile the truth in front of me.

Why? Of all people, bakit siya pa? What kind of cruel joke was the universe trying to pull on me this time? I must’ve done something terrible in another life for fate to keep setting me up in these impossible situations.

My phone vibrated on the side table, pulling me out of my thoughts. A message from Jazzi flashed on the screen. Nakauwi na kami.

I blinked. Ilang oras na ba akong nagkukulong dito? It felt like time had stopped the moment I saw him — like the world decided to hold its breath with me.

“Asta?” Mama’s voice echoed from the other side of the door, soft but careful. “Aalis na si Papa mo.”

My throat tightened. Slowly, I stood and opened the door.

He was there.

Standing by the small hallway, his posture uncertain, his eyes gentle but tired. He looked nothing like me. Kaya siguro noong una ko siyang nakita, hindi man lang ako kinutuban. No trace of resemblance, not even in the way we carried ourselves. But the heaviness in his eyes — that quiet, guilty tenderness — it felt familiar.

“I know it’s hard for you to—”

Before he could even finish, I stepped forward and hugged him. Tight. Desperate. Because no matter how much I wanted to hate him for the years he wasn’t there, I couldn’t. The moment I felt his warmth, everything broke down.

I couldn’t hate him, lalo na after hearing the conversation he had with Mama earlier — about money, about the expenses, about how he’s been helping all along. Turns out, my father had been sending money for us quietly. Kaya pala laging sapat ang pera kahit walang nakikitang trabaho si Mama. Kaya pala may business kami, kahit wala namang income dati.

Papa was there all this time — just silently. Watching from the shadows, helping from afar.

I didn’t know what kind of reasons could justify his absence, but for some reason, I wanted to believe he had them.

“I’m sorry, Asta,” Papa whispered, his voice rough as his hand gently brushed through my hair. “But I’m not the kind of father you can be proud to introduce. I have too many mistakes, too many ghosts I’m still running from. And I didn’t want to drag you or your mom into that mess.”

I slowly stepped back, tears already pooling in my eyes. “Bakit ngayon ka lang?”

Papa smiled, that kind of sad, weary smile that looked like it took years to learn. “Inaayos ko pa ‘yung buhay ko.”

I turned to Mama, who moved closer and pulled me into her arms.

“Ngayon alam mo na,” she said softly, “kung bakit hindi ako naghahanap ng iba kahit ang dami diyan.”

“Yabang mo naman,” Papa muttered, trying to lighten the moment with a chuckle.

“Maganda kaya ako! Kaya mo nga ako—”

“How many times do I have to tell you it wasn’t about that?” Papa cut her off gently, shaking his head before turning to me.

“But truth to be told,” he said, voice trembling slightly, “hindi ko kayo kilala noon. I didn’t even know you existed back then. I met your mom again years later… by accident. And I was—” he paused, exhaled shakily, “—I was broken. I fell in love with someone before, and she died. After that, I didn’t see any point in living. I wanted to follow her, I really did. But then I met your mom. And she told me about you.”

He looked at me then — really looked at me — and smiled in a way that hurt. “Doon ako nagkaroon ng dahilan para magpatuloy. Kasi for the first time, may taong nangailangan sa akin.”

My lips trembled. “Can we… can we become a family now?”

The silence that followed was deafening.

Mama and Papa both froze. They looked at each other, and for a moment, hope flickered somewhere between them — before it dimmed again.

“But… Asta,” Papa said slowly, “you’re in love with Jazzi. And Jazzi’s family…” he trailed off, shaking his head, the weight of it visible in his eyes.

“And what if I…” I started, but my voice cracked midway.

Because how could I even say it out loud? I loved Jazzi. That I wanted to be with her, even if it meant walking into a storm. But now that storm had a face. And it was standing right in front of me.

If Jazzi loved me as much as I loved her, would she be able to accept this? Would she still look at me the same, knowing who my father was? Or would she walk away like I always feared she would?

I didn’t know. I couldn’t know.

“Think it through, Asta.” Papa smiled faintly, his voice almost breaking. “I can still support you from afar.”

He patted my shoulder gently — one last touch that felt both grounding and hollow — before turning to leave.

The door closed softly behind him, but the silence that filled the room afterward felt unbearable.

Ang hirap.

Why do I have to choose now? Why do I have to pick between the people I love?

I couldn’t give up any of them.

But if I held on to both… would that make me selfish?

Because right now, I already felt like I was breaking — torn between two kinds of love that could never stand in the same room.

∘₊✧─────✧₊∘

"Why are you sad?" Jazzi asked through video call, her voice soft but clear against the faint hum of her room’s background noise. She was eating something—probably chips or whatever snack she always reached for when she couldn’t sleep. Ako naman, nakahiga na sa kama, staring blankly at the ceiling while the blue glow from my phone screen illuminated half of my face.

Still, I couldn’t tell her. The words were there, pressing at the edge of my throat, but I didn’t know how to let them out without sounding like I was about to break. Besides, she wasn’t asking again—so maybe silence was safer.

"I’m not. May iniisip lang," I replied eventually, forcing a faint smile that didn’t reach my eyes. I exhaled deeply. "How are the three? Nakauwi na ba sila?"

"Yep." Jazzi chuckled, her smile showing for a second. "Hindi pala sila nagpaalam sa parents nila. Mau’s mom called Mommy—nawawala raw anak niya."

I let out a small laugh, shaking my head. Siraulo talaga ‘yong bata na ‘yon.

But before I could say anything else, Jazzi suddenly spoke again.

"I miss you."

I froze. My eyes darted back to the screen. She was looking straight at me—steady, quiet, her gaze warm enough to melt through the pixelated distance between us. Nakakatunaw. She always looked at me like this, but tonight, there was something heavier behind it. Longing, maybe. Or something close to ache.

Was it because she was far away? Or was it because I already knew what I was planning to do?

"Magkasama lang tayo kanina," I chuckled, trying to sound light, to ignore the way my chest tightened. "Saan daw reunion ninyo?"

"I don’t know pa," she answered, casually pushing her glasses up. "But probably not here sa Pinas. Kami mag-aadjust for others." Then she smiled faintly. "Kayo? Nagpa-plano na ba kayo ni Tita what you’ll do this Christmas?"

I shook my head. "May tanong ako."

Her eyes lifted curiously. "About what?"

"About the guy sa bar noon," I said, my tone hesitant, biting my lower lip.

"Guy? Who? ‘Yung bumastos sa ‘yo?"

"No. The owner."

Her expression changed instantly. The soft light on her screen couldn’t hide the sudden shift in her eyes. The warmth faded. Silence followed—one that didn’t need words to explain.

She hated my dad. Until now.

"I’m sorry," I whispered.

"Let’s not talk about him, Asta," she said firmly, voice a little colder than before.

I nodded, feeling my throat tighten. The weight in my chest grew heavier, like gravity suddenly had a personal grudge against me. Ngayon paano ko sasabihin sa kanya kung halatang hindi niya tanggap? I didn’t want to force her to understand something she’d already built walls against.

"Jazzi," I breathed, trying to steady my voice, "you know that I love you, right?"

"Yeah. Why?" she asked softly, brows slightly furrowed.

"Maybe we should... focus on our families first," I said, my fingers gripping the edge of my blanket. "Diyan ka muna sa parents mo, and then let’s talk na lang after vacation."

The words burned as they left my mouth. Every syllable felt like betrayal, but I had to say it. Maybe if I distanced myself, I could finally think straight. Maybe I could figure out what to do—without hurting anyone more than I already had.

Because whether I admitted it or not, I could find another lover. But not another father.

"You hate my clinginess na?" Jazzi asked after a few seconds, her expression softening into something heartbreakingly cute—her lips in a small pout, her eyes round and pleading.

Damn. I wanted to reach through the screen and pinch those cheeks. Bakit niya ba ako binabaliw ng ganito kahit ganito kabigat na ang pakiramdam ko?

"No..." I sighed, forcing a tiny smile. "I love everything you do, okay? Pero mas better siguro if we focus muna sa family."

"I understand, Asta," she said quietly. "But can we at least talk? I’ll let you call first para hindi kita naaabala. Or you can message me anytime you’re free. I swear, hindi kita kukulitin."

"Let’s just do my suggestion for a week," I said, my voice softer, almost pleading. "Just one week. Then we’ll talk."

"Is that... really necessary?" she asked, her tone uncertain.

I froze. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have done it. If things were simpler, I’d be the one clinging to her instead. But right now, I needed to think. I needed to come up with a way to fix everything—or at least hurt fewer people in the process. Kung posible man iyon.

"Jazzi—"

"It’s fine, Asta," she interrupted gently, her voice now quieter, heavier. "Just tell me if you need someone to talk to. Makikinig ako palagi sa ’yo."

Her eyes softened again, but the light in them was different now. Dimmer. Resigned.

I nodded, unable to trust my voice anymore.

I’m sorry, Jazzi. This is the only way I know how to protect you, even if it means pushing you away. And if you manage to get through this week without me—then maybe you can start doing it for the weeks that follow.