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Chapter Text

The rain pattered hard against the window, sieun swallowed hard, his feet touching the cold ground. it felt nice to him, a pleasant feeling making him forget the uneasiness of swallowing his pills diagnosed to him, after he's done the nurse makes him open his mouth, a bit annoyed by this request but he abides.
a few minutes later it's time for lights out, only a small lamp next to the bed to ease the loneliness, sieun gets a single bedroom to himself and some belongings of his choice, he brings books to study with and a notepad.

the quiet is long, staring at the ceiling trying to sleep, and not think of his guilt, it's hard to sleep with nothing good on your mind, slowly playing with his fingers he drifts to sleep.

< ........ >

"you idiot that's not how you win at table tennis!" Gotak yells, he's a bit loud at nine in the morning when everyone's trying to sleep, sieun just stares blanking at the match going on, Seongje vs gotak, a bit of a bad duo to pit against eachother..
"Maybe your just bad at your own game?!" Seongje laughs out in a hushed tone, Juntae, one of the nurses keeping the score board, puts a number eleven down next to the number four, Seongje being in the winning spot. seongje eventually wins.

Sieun still desperately bored and lonely, starts scribbling in his notes again, writing about how he's feeling, a thing his doctor told him to do. A guy with choppy black hair walks up to him, sieun trys to ignore him, but he just can't, the bracelet around his arm is to similar not to notice. Beautiful shimmering seashells that are painted red sit in rows next to black beads, "Hey." Suho says next to him, sieun stares at him for awhile before suho speaks again, "can you pass me that crayon?.." sieun blinks before realizing the question, and handing him a crayon, before suho speaks again he pauses and makes a gesture towards sieuns wrist. "Woah what a coincidence, we're matching!" suho making a lazy smile, reaching for sieuns wrist, sieun pulls away and just nods, wow what a great first impression.

< ........ >

"I can't believe jeong-chan keeps eating my snacks, that lazy lard!" young-i yells, "maybe you should lock up the cupboard you keep them in?" juntae suggests, "you know baekjin wouldn't allow me to do that." Yeong-i retorts, sitting down in her chair next to juntae, suddenly thinking of an idea, "juntae.. is jeong-chan allergic to spices at all?.." She says mischievously, juntae gives a look of worry then retorts "not that I know of?.." yeong-i nods and mumbles about some spicy chips

an hour later, during the night shift, jeong-chan comes out of the backroom blowing on his tongue asking for water, yeong-i holds up a water bottle in his face "if you really need water promise me one thing!" she says, "Anything just give me the water!!" Jeong-chan yells, "BUY your own snacks! And stop stealing from me!" jeong-chan nods taking the water, and sitting down.

< ........ >

the hazy breeze reaches suho's face gently, he reaches down for his bracelet like a planned reaction, until he feels nothing the bracelet is gone. Slowly sitting up, reaching for the dresser thinking he left it in there last night, he didn't, starting to panic, suho gets up checking all over his room, the beds, the window, the closet, damn it even his other wrist, it's gone.

breakfast goes by quick for suho, trying not to cause a scene or panic, but he really needs that bracelet, the last thing his mom gave him after she won it at a dingy arcade machine. Suho has a few ideas where it could have gone, or who could have took it.

Sieun lazy finishes his breakfast, thinking of what other things he could do to not die of boredom, maybe drawing? ugh he did that yesterday, or perhaps studying again? those thoughts get cut off quick when someone grabs his arm, tightly, dragging him to a lonely corner. "Did you take it?" Suho asks trying not to look mad, Sieun just stares at him confused. "what are you talking about." Sieun says flatly "I know you took it! I bet your just a thief, give me the bracelet back!" Suho's voice rises frantically. "That bracelet? I didn't take your bracelet." Sieun answers back, suho grabs his shoulders, shaking him around "just give it back it's not yours!" Suho yells out, raising his fist.

Chapter Text

"just give it back it's not yours!" Suho yells out, raising his fist, before he can punch sieun, a tall frightening man steps behind suho restraining him, suho is punching at the guy, his name tag falls near sieun, 'baku' spelt over the original ink. The older keeps trying to hold him back, while several nurses take him away. Baku, assumingly the brown haired man standing in front of sieun asks "Are you alright?" Sieun nods, still a bit startled by the person before, "he thought I stole his bracelet." Sieun answers, baku nods and pats sieun on the shoulder before brushing himself off and walking away, sieun does shortly after.

sieun walks into his room, pushing the books off his bed onto his dresser and lying down, he ponders for a bit, why would sieun steal such a useless thing, and why was that guy so desperate to get it back? After a few minutes of thinking, he wonders who really stole it? Getting up, and slowly walking around, he sees a guy with a similar shimmery blue bracelet, the man has to be around sieuns age, maybe older, why would someone like him steal a bracelet, he does look well put together for someone who's in here. Sieun trying not to cause another fight stalks closer to the guy, just enough to see if it's the bracelet, and it is. Same beads, same seashells sieun walks behind the guy, tapping his shoulder, the taller guy spins around, a bit annoyed for some reason, "I need that bracelet" sieun says, the taller looks down at his wrist, "this one? Why, it looks useless anyways you don't need it." The guy says with a harsh tone, "Its mine, I'm missing the other one." Sieun lies, "whatever" he says to sieun, handing the bracelet back.

after sieuns small victory, he heads to suhos room, it's a shared one with 3 other beds in it. Sieun places the bracelet down and walks around examining suhos part of the room. The window cill has a small pink cat plush, before leaving he bumps into someone, and it's the same guy from before, "what are you doing in here" the taller guy looks a bit mad now, he turns to look at what sieun assumes to be is his bed, sieuns head turns with him and he spots the name, 'yeongbin' sieun pauses and says"Did you steal ahn suhos bracelet. I assume you did, because your bed is right across from him." Yeongbin blinks "what if I did! It doesn't matter now I won't steal it again, just get out of here you bug-eyed freak!" Sieun stares him down, and walks off.

< ........ >

Baku takes a seat next to baekjin, taking a deep sigh before spinning around in his chair, "ahh.. taking care of the teenagers here is so hard.." baku drags out his words, baekjin just nods, still doing his paper work. "You don't care? he elbowed me right in the chest! That can hurt you know" baku says jokingly trying to light up baekjins permanent business mood, not like baku's jokes ever work on anyone.. but whatever, baekjin sighs "maybe get it checked out then? You never think baku." Baku leans off the chair and walks away, "wow how harsh!" Baku says in a high-pitched voice before walking away to go sort papers.

juntae shuffles throught the papers
marking them off one by one quickly, baku stands behind him sitting down to and sorting paper. the silence is peaceful between them, until one breaks the silence "how can you work here and be so bright all the time?" Juntae questions, baku raises an eyebrow "hm.., there's enough sadness in this place, so why not be a beacon of hope to some." Baku smiles at juntae, "Its only my second day here and I barely have the hang of it" juntae says baku laughs "it's better then my first day! And elderly woman thought I was her son, so she kept calling me 'little baku!'" Juntae laughs softly at the name, because baku is anything except little.

< ........ >

Suho is escorted back to his room a day later, apologizing to baku for the outburst yesterday. spotting something on his bed, suho walks over and picks it up, realizing it's his bracelet next to a little note. 'I found it for you. - sieun' suho smiles at this little gesture, he cant believes he almost punched out that kind man! Suho has to apologize now.

sieun sat in his usual spot now, a bit more tense after suho got out of solitary. but it was fine, until he saw suho walking right towards him, trying to stand his ground sieun didn't look at him, just continued eating. "hello?.. I'm sorry for trying to beat you up yesterday, I swear I didn't mean it!" Suho said, a bit to calmly, "Dont do it again, you should really try resort with your roommate. He stole it," sieun said pointing towards yeongbin who was struggling to take a bite without sweating. "Wait.. he did?!" He replied. Sieun nods, "what are you here for,?" Sieun asks, "I caused a fight at my last school, I didn't go to a detention center because.. I have bpd that's why I lashed out at you earlier." Suho replies, looking down at his plate. "I'm here because of my dad. He sent me here after I took to many of the pills diagnosed to me," sieun says calmly, suho nods not knowing what to say, maybe sieun won't be so bored here after all.

Chapter Text

yeongbin poked at his plate, the food looked like a bunch of worms terrifying him to take another bite, his imagination bending against him at his own will. he sighs, closes his eyes and takes a bite, he doesn't feel anything, he just feels guilty. He can't stop the shame from coming after doing a simple task that everyone does, the nurse behind him, who's keeping an eye on him, starts writing something down, later handing him two small pills in a ziplock bag.

yeongbin exhale deeply, ever since he came here the doctors haven't pressured him to eat at all, only encouraging him to take bites once at a time. the memory's of how he got here pass through his mind like a storm, the fatigue from starving himself so long hits like a freight train on him ever since that day he was diagnosed with anorexia everything around him feels strangely calm

it was soon lights out time, the small lamp the neighboring bed keeps on at all times for some reason is off, and yeongbin feels out of it then ever before. He trys to sleep so hard, tossing and turning until he finally falls asleep. The dream he awakes in is familiar the. same desk he always sits at near the back of the class. his friends surround him, yeongbin feels like a mismatched sock between all matching pairs his friends are saying something, but all the words slur together. he's suddenly brought to the memories of his dad's big promotion party, reliving the moment he collapsed in front his dad's boss, humiliating him horribly. he wakes in a flash, trying to hold back his screams. He checks the alarm clock beside himself reading "4:38am." Breathing shakily he brings himself to the bathroom as quietly as he can, slipping past nurses and shutting himself in a stall. he crys hard, begging himself not to do it, before he can even think about it, nurse juntae bursts in. calling yeongbins name out "Mr yeongbin! You should be asleep, where are you? Are you okay?" juntae sounds hushed and panicked. Yeongbin walks out of the stall, trying to keep his balance, before he knows it he's on his bed again, falling asleep soundly.

< ........ >

tomorrow is hard for him, today is the day he goes home. He hasn't even seen his dad since the incident and he's practically begging the nurses to let him stay, packing his things with shaky hands and a quick pace he really feels like he's gonna pass out again, another nurse appears behind him tho, patting his back and reassuring him everything is alright. Soon enough his mother comes, "Yeongbin! Are you ready, I bet your cat misses you, he keeps pawing at my door for you!" She says in a cheerful voice, making yeongbin a bit happy.

Yeongbin arrives home, sweating bullets walking through the front door, his dad is there and all yeongbin can do is stare back, he feels like he's gonna throw up, but his dad scoops him into a hug "we should've known sooner, sorry" yeongbin hugs back, he's finally at peace.

"WOO!" Baku yells a bit to loud, he's so cheery over winning seongje in a table tennis game for the first time. Seongje being the best at table tennis during his time spent at myungshin, seongje must be out of it, looking to normal for his sarcastic temper. Maybe he's planning something??

during seongjes third game, he asks sieun to play against him, sieun accepts "I've never played before" seongje nods "it's fine, ill show you anyways" seongje giggles at himself a little, knowing he's not helping sieun at all. Sieun throws the ball missing the first time, it's seongjes turn now, he throws it perfectly and sieun hits it back in the same rhythm, they go at this for God knows how long, before suho and gotak starts placing bets on who will drop it first, in the end seongje lost "wow, I must be the biggest loser of today" seongje says blankly, before saying goodbye and heading to his room,

< ........ >

wooyoung paces around the courtyard, near the back where no one can see debating on letting this adorably cute black cat inside, maybe someones allergic, maybe beomseoks allergic! he doesn't know, it's like he's deciding on good or evil, and he let evil win today, swiftly opening the door fast and letting the cat in, it hides behind a bean bag near the common area, away from the nurses like it's a trained spy..

the first to spot the raven black feline is beomseok, he slowly reaches his hand out, placing a finger for the cat to sniff, it gradually grows closer, enough to trust beomseok to carry it, "awhh cute kitty" he says to it like it can hear, it purrs back. wooyoung appears behind him, touching his shoulder then going to pet the cute cat infront of him "I snuck it in.. I hope none of the nurses are checking the camera right now" wooyoung laughs quietly, beomseok nods, holding the cat up. "what should we name it?.." beomseok asks as the cat purrs. "Maybe.. little fuck" wooyoung looks at beomseok seriously "that's stupid. your stupid." beomseok replies back, "we should make it a home out of paper outside, Its probably homeless.." wooyoung asks, and beomseok nods.

they plan there amazing escape out. running straight for the outdoor courtyard with the cat in beomseoks shirt, as they do there plan, a person catches there eye wondering what the two idiots are doing. Sieun sneaks behind them wondering why beomseok had a weird shaped lump in his shirt. who knows maybe he was pregnant and wooyoung was the father, besides that stupid thought sieun catches up behind them, stalking the two as they place crumpled paper into a small tent for the kitten, sieun looks at the two and sighs why are they doing all this for a cat?

beomseok keeps petting the cat, calling it his little baby while sieun taps beomseok from behind, startled beomseok drops the cat, sending it flying to wooyoung, beomseok and wooyoung fall weirdly onto the makeshift cat shelter "owwhh.. I think you broke my back and the cats at the same time.." beomseok says to wooyoung, which causes sieun and wooyoung to laugh, startled by the noise, nurse juntae pops in wondering about all the commotion, he looks down at the scene. "Is there a problem.. you three?" He asks confused, beomseok hides the cat behind him under the paper, wooyoung sits up "nothing I was just fighting him!" Beomseok looks at wooyoung as he just made the situation worse, sieun raises his hands "I wasn't apart of this." Sieun says, "Well, I need to change your bandages beomseok. can you come with me?" Beomseok nods, dropping the cat behind wooyoung and walking away fast with juntae.

beomseok on the way feels a sharp stinging beside his arm, looking down it's bleeding, he trys to cover It up with his shirt, the cat must've scratched him when wooyoung fell on him. Beomseok panicking trying not to get the cat taken away, during his cleanup with juntae, he notices the scratches on beomseoks arm, "Did you harm yourself again? Please be honest with me." Beomseok opens his mouth but it ultimately closes again. "Is that a yes or a no" beomseok didn't think this through all the way!, curse you sieun, beomseok thinks, "Well, it's okay-" "Wooyoung brought a cat in and we made a shelter for it outside and it must've scratched me!" Beomseok admits, wanting to prove he's been clean. Juntae looks confused even more now, he examines the cuts closer, realizing they do look like cat scratches, "Okay, prove this to me then. Show me the cat." Juntae says. beomseok nods, making juntae follow him back to the courtyard where sieun and wooyoung where bickering over who gets to name the cat, juntae drops his frown, smiling, "you know people could be allergic to that!" He says trying to hide his smile, he cant the power of the cat is to strong, he ultimately decides that the cat can stay as long as the three keep it quiet.

Chapter Text

the small cat purrs in it's little nest behind the courtyard while wooyoung pets it, he thinks a bit, realizing this small cats been the only thing distracting him from his intrusive thoughts. wooyoung always hated cats, whenever he comes near them they always tense up and hiss at him, plus they get fur all over him, and he thinks the texture of cats fur is gross on fabric, and are way to hard to clean - and well just alot of things. anyways, the cat makes a dramatic yawn and turns it's head towards the entrance, perking it's ears up with wide eyes, wooyoung turns heads with it realizing, it's not beomseok or sieun, maybe juntae? But there not wearing the pale pink uniform. He thinks for a second, what if they tell the head nurse about the cat..

Wooyoung stands up realizing the person heading towards him is seongje. "Hey." Wooyoung repeats, "dont come back here, it's dangerous." Seongje looks at him a bit confused, "then why are you allowed back there?" Seongje says in a condescending tone. Wooyoung pauses, he didn't think this far ahead. "Look just don't go back there?!" He says in a quick voice, seongje huffs, placing a toothpick in his mouth. "Why not huh? You hiding shit back there?" Seongje gives a small chuckle, wooyoung clenches his fist, "Its not a big deal just go away?" Wooyoung says a bit more agitated. Seongje looks annoyed, "you tryna fight? If it's not a big deal let me through."

The air whistles and a punch is thrown, to seongjes luck he misses it. Seongje goes to hit back, everyone in the courtyard watches as this fight unravels. Nobody knows who's winning at this point, they both keep hitting and getting back up, a voice comes through and two nurses come in, stopping the fight, there's blood over the both of them and some patients look annoyed, until suddenly, the small black cat walks through the broken fence. It does a small meow before running away, everyone turns to wooyoung, was this the stupid reason why he wasn't letting seongje in?

< ........ >

A lot of time passes, wooyoung sits next to a doctor while he asks questions, but all wooyoung hears is buzzing. "can you tell me why you two started fighting?" Dr, baekjin asks quietly. Wooyoung nods trying to not get the cat taken away. "Is there a reason? One at all, was it the cat," dr baekjin asks politely trying not to make wooyoung mad again. "it wasn't the cat, he was being an ass." Dr baekjin nods, "I'm sorry to tell you, but we can't keep cats here" wooyoung looks a bit upset, he thinks to himself, why am I going this far for a cat.. I don't even like cats-

his thoughts are cut by a question "is it the cat that's keeping you calm? Maybe cats are whats helping your thoughts." Dr baekjin states, while scribbling something down. "no. I've always hated cats, that one was different, it was like for awhile, it kept me calm. It distracted me from other things," wooyoung says, Dr baekjin nods, "maybe it was the thought of something you like occupying you? Just not the cat in general, would you like to try new hobbies?" He states passing him a notebook, "write to me somethings you like, it could be anything, just try occupy yourself." Wooyoung nods.

< ........ >

nothing is making writing fun for wooyoung, he cant think of a single thing he wants to write of!, he's tried writing about cats, or fighting, nothing is working, at this point he's just scribbling nonsense, wooyoung sighs, he just thinks of something he can't get off his mind writing, it down, 'I never wanna lose a fight again, I can't stop thinking about all the fights I lost, I think the only ever thing that has occupied me more then my ocd is fighting. but I can't fight here, it's like everyday is just boring, I want action.'

Dr baekjin looks at his notebook, then at wooyoung, placing it down infront of him "thank you for the information, I don't think we can implement fighting into your daily routine here, but maybe tennis table? Some patients here are very serious about it. it can also intrigue you a bit." Wooyoung looks at him like he just said the stupidest thing ever. "what the hell is table tennis gonna do," wooyoung says, Dr baekjin looks at him, with hopeful eyes that are saying 'trust me.'

"I mean isn't it stupid what that doctor tells us? What is table tennis gonna do for me?!" Wooyoung says, beomseok looks at him confused "he offered you.. table tennis?.. I mean maybe it will help, your very competitive." Wooyoung looks at him offended, beomseok giggles at his own statement, "maybe you should try it?" He nods towards the table, juntae is versing gotak. "Yeah.. I guess"

the round starts, it's wooyoung verses baku, juntae is counting score while beomseok watches. Baku throws the first ball and wooyoung hits it back naturally. Wooyoung himself doesn't know how he's winning, he keeps hitting the ball back to baku, making him miss everytime, he feels better after his victory, beomseok cheers in the background baku looks at him "wow, have you played before!?" He says holding the paddle towards him, the next round, sieun asks to play, wooyoung nods, he thinks this will he a breeze. Throwing the ball to sieun, they naturally flow the ball, none stopping and it almost seems like there in a loop, until.. sieun drops the ball, for the next few rounds there neck and neck but wooyoung wins again! "this is so easy" he says cockily.

< ........ >

"fuck. I forgot to check something I swear, fuck wooyoung your so stupid." Wooyoung says, unlocking his door and heading in to check his stove, bed and drawers again. it's like a stupid thought that fills his mind 24/7 paired with his non-stop urges, he feels like he needs something to fill the empty space of his boring life. maybe it all started back when he was a kid.

Wooyoung sits in his dad's shop, blocking out the screaming coming from his mom, his dad pounds his belt on his little sister, and everyone outside the shop stares at him, looking sympathetic, he hated those stares, he hated the way his dad treated the women in his family, he hated the way his dad got mad at any minor inconvenience, so wooyoung started making sure everything was perfect, often rechecking over and over, just to not hear the painful sounds that come from his little sister.

that minor adjustment became a fulltime thing in his mind, filling his thoughts with paranoia even tho he lived alone. "your fucking late again?!" His boss screams at him, wooyoung clenches his fist, biting the urge to tell his annoying boss off, "I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again." wooyoung bows, "do I look like I care?! our sales are at stake every time you enter late in here, get to your desk and don't let this happen again." Wooyoung nods.

oh god, he cant stop the thoughts, he wants to punch the life out of his boss, he wants to see him bloody and begging for mercy. he can't stop the swirling horrible thoughts in his mind, before wooyoung knows it, 30 minutes have passed, and his email is still blank, fuck wooyoung, pull it together, he pinches at his nail in anger. His thoughts consume him, and he's sitting at his desk still as a ghost, now he's staying overtime.. again.

the walk back home fills him with dread, his dad's constant calls asking him to come back to the family, his annoying neighbors, everything pissed him off, the slightest nudge might push him of the end, wooyoung stops near a shop for a drink, but a bright light catches his eye. It's a new shop, called "fighting4all" he's infatuated, going towards the shop, "hello, how can I help you?" The person at the front says, "can i spar here?.." wooyoung says dropping his bag, the person at the front nods, "yes, we offer training, and a boxing ring for everyone to use, would you like to sign up today?" Wooyoung nods immediately.

heading into a ring, he's thinks, fighting will work, maybe blow some steam off, he eventually finds an opponent, taking them down. wooyoung always had some muscles, wanting to protect his sister even more, he taught himself some simple moves at home finding it easy.

It becomes a routine, every day after work, he sparred, imagining all his opponents as his boss or dad. Most were cocky opponents, he thought of an amazing idea, a YouTube channel called "wooyoungsfights" where he would fight egotistical idiots and post them for views, after a few days, he gained lots of traction, never losing a fight, this almost became his everyday life if work never got in the way. he was getting worse at work, his intrusive thoughts coming in horribly, he cant think straight, all he wants to do is get back out and fight again, it's even occupied his constant re-checking. it's almost an addiction at this point.

wooyoung comes into work one day, his big pitch idea presentation is today, and he cant help but worry. he's only got the basics written down, and he's picking his nails so hard there almost bleeding. "So.. i-if you just look here, we can see the bigger value.. this stock brings in.." he's totally out of it, he wants everyone to stop staring at him. "If you can excuse me.. sorry." He says running out of the room. "fucking.. stupid idiot." wooyoung sighs out, his phone buzzes, and the screen shows a message from his boss: 'get down here. Your fucking FIRED.' wooyoung shakes, he's so angry he can't contain it, he marches down into his bosses office, throwing all his papers at him, "I quit, you fucking maniac, you can't fire me over some bullshit like that! You can take my pitch and shove it up ur ass." He yells, leaving his boss startled as he leaves.

"FUCK!" He bangs his foot across a nearby garbage can, he slips his phone out of his pocket, typing in his YouTube account, and he goes to look for some idiots to beat up, a little while later, a guy about half the size of wooyoung steps up "so you wanna fucking fight then?!" He says stepping up, shoving wooyoung back, the man is clearly intoxicated but wooyoung doesn't care. He sets his phone up, taking off his jacket and getting ready to fight, a sound fills the air. it's a pipe, slamming against wooyoungs head, one of the guys friends must have snuck up behind him, blood pours from his back, his vision blurs in and out while the livestream still plays.

a kind woman spotted poor wooyoung and brought him to the hospital, wooyoung looks defeated, he cant believe he's lost a fight like this. he was so good at fighting, wooyoung clenches his teeth, fighting back tears. awhile later, a nurse comes around, asking him what happened. he ignores anything she says and leaves after he's discharged. On his walk back home, his phone is buzzing. hundreds of notifications come from his device after the fight, replay clips of his defeat play in his face like a mocking memory.. his thoughts become even more disoriented, and he passes out at the stair steps of his house, luckily his mom came to see him today, she's shocked by the sight, bringing him into the house and cleaning him up.

wooyoung wakes up, rubbing his eyes and seeing his mom holding his hand. "I'm sorry mom, I got fired." his mom just stares at him, before giving him a hug, he reciprocates holding his mom tight sobbing in her shoulder, "I think.. I need help mom".