Archive of Our Own ^beta

Growing up, Fiore’s parents had constantly reminded her of her failures, and how she was a failure. They’d constantly remind her of “how she was a monster.” Fiore doesn’t think she's a monster. Well, at least, that’s what she likes to think. The thing is, though, when you grow up constantly being shamed, the way you see yourself starts to change. Maybe Fiore ended up being such a “bratty” child because that was the image her parents constantly shoved on her. Maybe it was because that was what she constantly heard as a child.

 

Throughout Fiore’s entire childhood, her parents constantly reminded her of how she wasn’t the child they wanted, and or how she was a mistake and a monster. Even at the Catholic boarding school, the nuns reminded her of how she was “in the devil’s grasp” and all that shit she didn’t care about. God, that Catholic boarding school really was hell.

 

Now that she’s an adult, she didn’t think she’d be this lonely. Sure, she still spoke with Alec. Not in person, but through letters. After Fiore became an adult, Alec moved to Canada with Connor. They frequently called and would ramble on about things like annoying people they’d run into, or old memories. Despite this, it wasn’t changing the fact that Fiore lived alone in her apartment with her cat, rarely going outside. If Alec knew, he’d probably drag her outside by her ankles himself. If he wasn’t old and had back problems, just like Connor.

 

She did miss Alec. She missed the banter they had whenever he’d tutor her. She missed the way he’d be annoying and scolded her for trash-talking her annoying classmates. As much as she didn’t want to be emotional, she did miss the grumpy old man. She has no idea of what happened after him and Connor got married. She went to the wedding and everything, but didn’t really speak to anyone there. The only people she really knew there were Jake, Tom, and Ally. There were some others, but she doesn’t care enough to really remember. Ally was one of the only people who actually came up to her and were friendly. She didn’t hate Ally as much as she used to. She’s more just… okay with her now. That’s how she feels about a lot of people. Growing up did really strange things.

 

Now, here she was, working long shifts in the office building she worked in. She lived in a small apartment in Florence, Italy. Her work hours were long, and boring. Fiore would much rather be sitting in her apartment, scrolling online, but rent had to be paid one way or another.

 

Every time she’d go to work, she’d think about her time on Disventure Camp. She’d think about her loss in season one, and her loss in All-Stars. It was embarrassing, to say the least. Fiore wouldn’t only think about herself, but the other contestants. Not Alec, not Connor, but people like Ellie, and others she could decently tolerate. What was Ellie doing? Was Grett finally tolerable, did she finally have an actual “change” this time? Were they all happy and living close to their friends? Fiore rolls her eyes at the thought.

 

“Fiorella, your work phone’s ringing.” The woman in the cubby next to her scoots her chair back, looking right at Fiore.

 

“Huh? Oh, sorry. I’ll go take this.” Fiore mutters, grabbing the phone. Of course she had to get a call five minutes before her lunch break.

 

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Fiore hangs up the phone with a groan, pinching the bridge of her nose. Why couldn’t they have a whole department for old and senile people who didn’t know how to work things? The woman calling her needed instructions for every little thing. “Oh, how do I do this?” “Oh, how do I put that in there?” God, Fiore hated old people. They reminded her of the nuns.

 

After she was out of that horrible phone call, she heads to a nearby coffee shop. She’d visit the little shop quite often, so often that the workers knew her. They’d always remember her order, and whenever she walked in they’d go: “Oh, hey, Fiorella!”
Hearing someone other than her parents or the nuns call her “Fiorella” felt strange, to say the least, but she was getting used to it. At least she was free from those hells.

 

As Fiore pushed open the door, she was hardly paying any attention to anyone there. She was exhausted, and desperately needed some sort of caffeine to get through her day. Approaching the front counter, she ordered her basic coffee and sat down at a table. Fiore couldn’t help but run a hand through her hair, feeling strangely stressed. It only gets worse when she sees an email about some documents she needs to finish.

 

“I hate my job.” She mutters, burying her face in her hands with a groan. Her shoulders were set tense, and her jaw was firmly clenched. Taking a deep breath, Fiore starts to think back, think back to the pleasant moments on Disventure Camp. Sure, Fiore did a lot of things she regrets while she was on the show. There was no going back, and her six-year-old-self learned that the hard way, but now wasn’t the time to worry about that.

 

Thinking back to the first season of Disventure Camp, she remembers all the talking she and Alec did off camera. There was one specific moment she remembers, though. It was after the fear challenge, specifically at night. Fiore had been unable to sleep, so she’d gone for a walk. Turns out, Alec had as well.

 

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Fiore would be lying if she said the fear challenge hadn’t left her a bit shaken up. Every time she closed her eyes, she’d see that moose from earlier. It was just staring at her, preventing her from sleeping. So, she slipped her shoes on and made her way to a small lake buried deep in the forest. No one went there, so it was a nice spot to be at. Peaceful, and quiet. There weren’t any annoying old ladies yelling in her ear about how “it was late and she needed to be asleep.”

 

Fiore rolls her eyes at the thought. Thankfully, no one here had done that yet, and hopefully never did. She didn’t need a replacement for her parents while she was on the show. She went on it to win and get away from them in the first place, after all.

 

She truthfully despised those assholes. They were constantly complaining about her, about how she was “a horrible little girl” and all that shit. If they hated her so much, why not just get rid of her while they’re at it? It’d make their lives easier, and that was the truth. They weren’t worth her time anymore.

They weren’t.

 

Not at all.

 

Right?

 

“If they didn’t matter at all to you, why does it hurt so much?” That little voice in her head tells her. With a frustrated growl, she kicks a rock into the lake. The splash was small, and weak. It felt familiar; a feeling of familiarity that she hated.

 

Fiore can’t help but drop to her knees, staring down at her reflection in the rippling water. She hated feeling that way. That disgusting feeling of vulnerability, the vulnerability she buried deep.

“Fiore? What are you doing out here so late?” A voice behind her startles her, and before she can snap at them, she turns around and realizes it’s Alec. Alec was tolerable, and she didn’t hate him.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just getting some fresh air!” She says with an awkward and innocent chuckle. Alec raises an eyebrow at her, not completely buying it. Fiore sighs when she sees the look on his stoic face. Turning her head away, she doesn’t say anything else to him.

Fiore shifts her position, bringing her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. She didn’t want to talk right now, but if someone was going to bother her right now, she was grateful it’d be Alec. He was sure to give up soon, right?

The older man steps towards her, taking a seat by the lake at her side. He lets out a quiet breath, admiring the scenery.

“H0w’d you find this place, anyway?” He asks, starting a conversation. Fiore looks up at him, a bit surprised he isn’t trying to be all corny and comfort her. She exhales, before responding.

“I was wandering off a couple days ago. I just ran into it, I guess.” She mumbles, turning her gaze away. Alec looks at her, despite her avoidance to do the same. He seems just the slightest bit amused by her words, a crack in his stoic exterior.

“It’s peaceful. A nice break from the constant talking from the others, hm?” He responds. She can feel him looking at her, almost like he’s trying to coax her into making eye contact. Reluctantly, Fiore finally looks at him.

“Yeah. It is.”

 

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That was a nice memory for her. Maybe one of her favorites. They spent the rest of the night talking, complaining about all the things they hated about each contestant they had to deal with. Alec particularly complained about Nick, rambling on about how the man’s accent was fake. It was funny listening to him be so upset over something as small as an accent.

Fiore had a bit of an Italian accent. After living in Italy for so long, she started to talk like the usual Italian. She managed to cover it up, though. Hearing herself with an accent felt odd.

She’s soon snapped out of her thoughts by a worker setting her coffee on the table in front of her. Fiore mutters a quiet “thank you” and begins to sip at it. She liked her coffee sickly sweet, unlike Alec. The man would drink his coffee bitter, and it was always odd to Fiore.

Alec was just odd, but he was an odd she could tolerate. He wasn’t like Yul, who was just a horrible kind of odd. He was constantly complaining about something. It could be that it was “too hot outside!” or “somebody was being annoying.” (For that last part, it wasn’t like she was any better.). Maybe he’d matured. Maybe he became a better person, but she knew those chances were low.

Thinking about everyone growing and maturing made her think about herself. Has she really grown and matured? Was she really a “mature” adult now? That wasn’t what it felt like. Deep down, she knew she was still that same little girl everyone hated.

She knew she was the same girl who grown adults would insult and bully. She was the same girl whose parents hated her guts. Maybe all those times she acted out were cries for attention that everyone ignored.

Her parents didn’t exactly ignore them, although they responded in less than pleasant ways that left Fiore unmotivated and oddly anxious. It left her with a few other things as well, but she’d rather not picture them. Memories like that left bitter tastes in her mouth, along with bad memories and thoughts in her head.

For the most part, and before she had Alec, there was no one there to help her get through it. Not like she wanted someone’s help getting through it, but talking or ranting to someone about it would’ve been nice. “Maybe having parents that cared would’ve been nice.” That little voice in her head repeats that phrase, over and over.

Being on this topic reminds her of something.

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The stormy and thundering evening seemed to fit the exact mood Fiore was feeling, and probably what Alec was feeling as well. She was sure that he was just as frustrated and disappointed as her parents are.

“Seriously! I- I spent hours, Fiore! Hours with you, tutoring you on every subject! How do you even end up with a score like this? You were doing so well, lately! What happened?” Alec is clearly at his limit. He’d been reminding her non-stop about this quiz, only for her to flunk it. She winces, thinking back into how he spent extra time tutoring her in hopes of her getting a good score on this quiz.

Fiore furrows her brows. What the hell was the big deal? It wasn’t a major grade, like a big test or anything, nor was it going to determine her final grade. He was angry over nothing! She can’t help but roll her eyes, letting out a huff before speaking.

“Oh, please! It’s not a major test or anything like that. It doesn’t even determine my final grade! Calm down.” Fiore says. She almost feels bad. Almost. Adding on to these emotions, she’s feeling embarrassed, especially due to the fact she expected to do good.

“It doesn’t matter! It still counts as your grade, Fiore! It brings you down, and makes it harder for you to get it back up!” Alec protests. Fiore is more focused on the strands of his hair flying loose from stress.

“Why does it matter? I’m in third grade, not ninth!” Fiore retorts, looking up at him with pure defiance. Alec’s breathing gets noticeably heavier, and he gets visibly tense. Well, even more tense. His posture reminds her of that of her father’s, especially the way he’d stand before he’d-

 

As if bracing herself, Fiore squeezes her eyes shut and retreats backwards. She turns her head away from Alec, who had merely gone to push up his glasses. Instead of looking angry and defiant, Fiore looks fearful and sad. Her eyes are full of wariness and past memories threatening to resurface.

 

Alec’s expression immediately changes. He immediately looks guilty, with a small hint of realization in his eyes. He swallows and looks down at her. Silence fills the room, before Alec finally speaks again.

 

“I wouldn’t do that to you.”

 

“What?”

 

“I wouldn’t ever do that to you.” He repeats, this time firmer. Almost hesitantly, Alec kneels down to look at her. The girl is still tense and uncertain, but she slowly relaxes. The man’s expression is oddly caring and emotional for someone like him.

“What?” Fiore tries to say more, but nothing comes out. For once, she’s speechless. When Alec reaches out both hands towards her, her mind is screaming at her to flinch, pull away, maybe even run and hide. Despite all these thoughts, she doesn't.

Fiore’s feet stay planted right in the ground where they have been for the past ten minutes. Alec’s hands gently cup her cheeks, his expression something more than worried. Everything in Fiore’s head is telling her to pull away, that she’s going to get hurt.

“I wouldn’t hurt you. I would never, Fiore.” Alec swears to her, his brows furrowed in worry for her.

She wants to believe him, and part of her does.

 

She trusts Alec.

 

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When she really thinks about it, maybe Alec really was the only adult she could trust, and he still is the only person she really trusts. When she was going through high school, she knew well not to trust the counselors or the teachers. Sure, she got into trouble a lot and was rude to her teachers. She had the right, though! Those teachers were pure assholes, always complaining about how she didn’t ‘rip her paper right’ or she ‘didn’t use the font when writing her 50 million word essay’.

They were all assholes, plain and simple. Fiore rarely thought about her teen years nowadays. All her life now was to wake up, go to work, go home, make dinner, repeat. It was boring, she had no one interesting in her life. Well, she had Alec, but he wasn’t anywhere near, now was he?

With a heavy sigh, Fiore says her goodbyes to the people working at the cafe. Making her way out of the building, she opens her phone. Instead of watching where she’s going, she’s glued to a video of one of those fake stories online. They were one of those few sources of entertainment she had now.

Her brief amusement quickly turned into embarrassment as she bumped straight into someone who seemed to be on their phone as well. Fiore, having been knocked straight on her ass, drops her phone and scrambles to pick it up.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry.” The voice speaks up, offering a hand out to her. By the time Fiore finally has her phone back in her pocket, she takes the hand and stumbles upward. The man who helped her looks to be in his mid-twenties, just like she is. His skin is tan, with dark eyes and black hair that almost reminds her of Alec’s. There’s also a noticeable eyebrow piercing.

Fiore grunts as she stands up, mumbling an apology as well.

“I should’ve watched where I was going. Sorry.” She mumbles, brushing the dust off her pants. Glancing down at the floor, she notices his phone had fallen as well. An act of ‘kindness’ wouldn’t be too awful.

Fiore crouches down to pick it up, handing it back to him. They stand in awkward silence for a long moment before the man speaks.

“Hey, wait. Aren’t you that girl from Disventure Camp?” He asks. Fiore groans internally. Whenever she gets recognized, it always leads to a bad thing as in a long conversation and a bunch of questions she didn’t feel like answering.

“Mhm.” She answers, her jaw clenched. The desire to leave this conversation and go home was overwhelming.

“Oh, cool. I remember watching that old show as a kid.” That’s it? He didn’t ask any questions or say anything rude? Wow. Fiore’s jaw unclenches instantly, and she stares at him.

“What’s your name?”

“Levi.”

Fiore doesn’t remember what happened from that point on, all she remembers is finally meeting a friend. An interesting friend. One of her only friends.