Chapter Text
Miyuki didn’t realised when exactly it happened but the sight of Sawamura’s back as he left his room left a nagging feeling behind; though buried deep in the pool of his stomach.
He’s never seen the guy act out in this way before. Sawamura was a loud guy and he had his moments; a pitcher who was defined by his mood swings. But he was painfully honest to a fault and always wore his heart on his sleeves. He should’ve guessed something was off when Okumura asked him to talk to the guy, concern laced in his usually cold eyes.
And yet, when Miyuki probed - not once but twice - Sawamura merely dismissed him, saying there was nothing else to talk about. It was confusing, and yet, not really unlike him.
He hadn’t planned to think much of it when Sawamura first stormed out of his room last night, but it was the sight of Okumura’s anxious gaze always fleeting towards the pitcher that made him feel uneasy all over. Miyuki likened the feeling to be of dutiful worry, like how a captain would to a fellow teammate. Being a captain and having these extra responsibilities were really tough. And hell, it had been a really tough year since he took over. But the closer Okumura got to Sawamura, the more restless Miyuki was.
Before he could even comprehend what he was doing, his lips had already blurted out the words he longed to say since last night.
“Is there anything you want to talk about with me?”
There it was, that silence again. A guarded wall put up again by the guy who always wore his emotions freely on his face.
When Sawamura had asked him earlier to catch some of his pitches, Miyuki was relieved; happy even. It felt like the second year had gone back to his usual self after his strange behaviour yesterday. And yet they continued their training in silence, earning the subtle looks and attention from their other teammates. It was unnerving.
It was suffocating.
Miyuki definitely knew something was wrong by then. And yet, Sawamura dismissed him again.
He knew it was a lie but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to ask him why he was lying.
Why couldn’t he?
Was this fear?
And again, when Sawamura merely walked past him after, Miyuki couldn’t bring himself to stop him either. His eyes, however, noticed how Sawamura walked straight towards Okumura. The two walked side by side, going for a short break before the team’s field practice later.
Was this… jealousy? Not wanting to be replaced as Sawamura’s only catcher? Envious that Okumura still had more games left with the pitcher, when Miyuki could potentially be playing his last game of his final year?
No, that was not it either.
He felt this before, just once, sometime last year. It was when Sawamura was in one of his depressed moods, and he couldn’t do anything to help him either. The resigned feeling of having to watch Chris-senpai do what he failed to do as a catcher.
A catcher?
No. A teammate.
His heart stirred at the word that had flashed in his mind. That wasn’t it either.
His friend… or more.
Miyuki winced at that thought. His unspoken worries had begun to take shape, though still as blurry as ever. But he knew, deep down, that this was definitely the reason why Sawamura’s silence had been bugging him.
His hands balled into a fist, tension caught in his jaw. This was no time to think about the unspoken feelings. They still have one more match tomorrow. And as captain, that should be of his utmost importance. Though he wished he’d just be his usual selfish self to do as he wanted.
But when they do win tomorrow…
Then perhaps fate would have given him some more time to selfishly be Sawamura’s favourite catcher.