Chapter Text
Carla’s POV
Not many things shock Carla Connor, but her new fiancées dead wife rocking up certainly wasn’t what she expected a few weeks ago.
They had been great. Better than great. So in love. Newly engaged. Carla felt like her world was finally starting to fall in her favour. She loved Betsy like she was her own. She finally had the love of her life, who made her feel so secure, listened too and safe. They’d bought their home. Their forever home, their family home. Carla, Lisa, Betsy and Ryan. They made it their own. Well, Lisa just followed instructions where decorating was concerned. That was all down to Carla. Carla would always run the decisions by Lisa but she was always met with ‘yes darling, whatever makes you happy’. She really couldn’t care less, as long as it was liveable and practical. But Carla had a great eye for detail anyway, so win win for everyone.
How have I managed this? Carla often thought. How have I managed to come out the other side and be so happy? Because she was. For the first time in forever. She actually felt happy. Content. But now, the walking dead has arrived and to put it lightly, Carla’s last nerve is hanging on very very loosely.
Becky Swain. Dead wife, manipulator, narcissist, and all round arsehole. Just a few polite words Carla has for her. She keeps just rocking up. In my home. My family’s home. ‘Ohh yes darling stay for tea, I’ll pay and cook and clean while you sit around and have a merry time with my family. You can even come and sleep in mine and Lisa’s bed if you like?’ Carla is sick of her. Sick of her showing up, sick of the smug look on her face. She knows exactly what she’s doing. But why can nobody else see it? Why can’t Lisa see it? Some detective ehh?
And that’s where the sadness begins. That’s where it all goes wrong. I understand Lisa is all over the place. All these emotions going round in her head. But as the days go by, the more she seems to be accepting Becky into our lives. Playing happy family’s with her wife and daughter. And me? Where do I fit into all of this?
I feel sad. Not just sad but deflated. Anxious. Like a spare part in my own home. What do I do? Lisa hasn’t said she wants to leave me but she hasn’t given me any reason to stay either. Not once has she asked me about my feelings. She hasn’t cuddled me in a week. No kiss. She very rarely tells me she loves me anymore. When we go to bed, what was once our happy place, just now feels awkward. We face away from each other. No longer have our late night chats. And sex? What is that? We always had a great sex life. On another level to anything I’ve ever had before. But now. There’s nothing.
I love her more than life itself. That doesn’t just turn off. But maybe I need to let her go. I’ve thought about this a lot. But I can’t bring myself to leave. Her and Betsy. They’ve already been through so much. So here I am. Sticking around. Playing happy family’s with backhand Becky and acting like it’s fine for her to be included. Because until Lisa asks me to leave. I’ll stay.