Chapter 1: Father Figure
Notes:
Welp, here we are, so these poems are my personal experiences, some are not real (the abuse parts), but most are.. sooo yeah, have fun and hope you enjoy these ;3
Here! you might need this: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ltNMnN834UyWhrayGPBbR?si=72be6d757201461d
Chapter Text
My father is a precious man, but being cautious is something that i couldn’t stand, every day was a different fight, he didn’t know who to pick and went to both flights.
He didn’t know how to love, it was a sensitive topic, just how my sister was something atomic. He was toxic nobody could stand it, his depression was affecting others around it.
He thought money was the way, and the answer, but all he could do was feed his hamster.
He found a wife and had 3 daughters “Maybe they’ll be like me” he said as only as his daughters weren’t saying “i hope mom divorced him again” he was sad and clueless, he didn’t know what to do, until his sustain had to hold less.
He was finally cautious, his depression bigger than words and larger than numbers, he was mad, I died inside, but I shouldn’t really judge, at least he cleaned with iodine.
Chapter 2: Am I good enough?
Notes:
Well umm this one was based on those times where you are trying you're hardest and people still don't seem to acknowledge you.
Here! You might need this: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ltNMnN834UyWhrayGPBbR?si=2facde49036a4a9b
Chapter Text
Am I good enough? Some might say the opposite, some won’t. I don’t really know anymore, they keep saying “You are a damn whore” but at this point maybe I’m worth something, they care so much and so little. Am I really this brittle? Or do they make me little?
I should be stronger, but I can’t resist a little longer.
No. I just have to be Stronger, right?…
I did it, I faced them, i felt so happy and yet so crappy, I hope this feeling doesn’t drive into madness because soon it’ll all just be sadness I thought I’d be tough, but at this point I’ll leave it up to you, am I good enough?
Chapter 3: A Love that Started to Fade.
Notes:
This one, obviously seen at the title is about heart break and stuff, well yeah, I might start posting/adding once a week or so.. :3 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ltNMnN834UyWhrayGPBbR?si=72be6d757201461d
Chapter Text
Will I ever love willingly? It’s not that I don’t but the fact that every time I cross paths with someone new, I keep on deepening the scar that grew.
The love is sweet and their voice is sweeter but how do I keep getting played and getting weaker?
An utopia where everything is perfect would be nice, no people watching and my love won’t be on thin ice, as much as love is valued and cared, nobody shows you how much you get glared, how many imperfections you have, how many wounds have been opened and healed with salt.
A relationship consists of two not three, did you really have a heather? Did you give her your sweater? What about me? Freezing because of your cold heart?
We’re watching the stars looking at their art, I thought we were both thinking the same thing.. “would we be together in every universe? Would I still be your darling?”
No, I wasn’t.. I never was because as close as we were, we were always 2 worlds apart. Push the cart, throw the dart, and get a head start. No matter how hard I try, I just want to be loved, not shoved into something one sided, because I always get blinded.
I’ve always loved with my heart, not with my feelings, I’ve always cared like family, even though it was just you and me, I’ve always gave you the key to my world, but the only thing I got from yours was a window peak. Give me a love where I don’t ask to be held, give me a love that only movies give, give me a love where I don’t have to give up.
Act like I’m yours, and I’ll act like you’re mine, I’ll wait- take your time.
Because no matter how much I love I realize, that my love to love is fading, my love for love is fading, as much as I laugh, as much as a cry, as much as I watch everyone I love die, and how now we have scored and how much you love gets graded, it will forever be a love that will forever be faded.