Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In the debrief later, she is sure she’ll get an earful from her superior officers about the dangers of field work. That she should have been more proactive, that she should have known she was in danger. Truth be told, she did know she was in danger, she just assumed it was the usual type of danger. Violence is tolerable, predictable, and hell, sometimes it’s welcome when scumbags like Koffner are involved.

It’s supposed to be the type of mission where she weasels a confession out of him. So she had put on a skin tight dress and heels that made her as tall as the Colonel and got to work.

She had one drink, nothing that was anywhere close to enough to get her drunk. The problem is she feels drunk and she doesn’t know what to do. Extraction isn’t an option, it will collapse their entire operation and she cannot do that to her team.

She glances over to where Falman and Havoc are enjoying a drink, hoping briefly that they might see the panic in her eyes. They are too far away, she knows that, but she hopes.

“Aw, bored of me already?” Koffner asks with a low drawl.

“Course not,” she keens, leaning in a bit too close. She lost sight of the Colonel a few minutes ago, he’s probably checking in with Feury outside, but her heart is beating out of her chest.

“Prove it, tell me what’s on your mind pretty girl.” He hooks a finger under her chin, “Better yet, tell me what you see.”

“What I see?” She asks.

“Yes sweetness, what do you see?”

She looks at him, really looks at him, and she realizes his teeth don’t look like teeth anymore, they look like vines spilling out of his mouth. His once sweat shining face now looks like it is covered in sequins and the lights of the club morph into figures that she can only describe as monsters.

“What the fuck?” She breathes weakly.

“Ah… so it’s working then,” he snickers.

“What did you do?” Her words wobble and slur as she tries to make sense of the world around her.

“Just a taste of my latest creation, feels good, doesn’t it? I simply gave you a bit of a boost,” he leans in and kisses her neck. The sensation is indescribable, it stings and tingles and jolts her with surprise. “It’s a little treat since you’ve been so sweet, I wanted you to enjoy what comes next.”

He throws her over his shoulder and she is powerless to stop him. Her body is not hers, not right now, even her mind is fully gone as she watches the path he makes bloom with mushrooms and weeds. The ground… she knows she’s in a club, she knows where she is but everything’s shifting and-

She looks up and realizes that no one is helping her because they can’t see her. They don’t have faces, they don’t have eyes, the moss covered bar floor was a better view than this by far. Her gaze sticks to the floor because of those horrible visions- no she’s hallucinating she must be.

He puts her on the ground and she can do nothing but gaze up at him.

“You’re too pretty to keep waiting,” he says. His touch is like electricity against her, when did her skin get so sensitive? It hurts but it also doesn’t - it just feels more and she sounds crazy in her own head; her head which is currently wading through the effects of some cocktail of drugs.

He’s perched over her but his body looks like a tent, like his arms are longer than they should be and he has to bow down from a great height to whisper in her ear.

“I promise you’ll like this, it’s hard not to enjoy it when you’re high as a fucking kite.”

“You’re not human,” she says limply, uncertain how to process the fact that she can hear a song she knows is not real. It’s a song she’s not sure she’s ever heard before, one that’s somehow timed with the rapid pace of her heart.

“How nice.”

“Hands up, Koffner,” Riza is pretty sure that’s Havoc’s voice but she doesn’t know where to look. The ground is about to eat her anyway, would there be any point?

She feels the ground freezing beneath her, like it’s snowing in reverse. Like maybe she’s falling, like maybe she’s lying on a bed made from clouds and the sky has been kind enough to let her rest here.

“Lieutenant, you can get up now,” Falman says, he’s close, so close Riza can feel his breath on her neck. Or maybe that’s not right, maybe that’s wind, maybe it’s the trees that want her back.

“Oh fuck, Havoc, I think she’s gone.”

She hears the click of handcuffs, though for some reason her mind processes that as the ground cracking somewhere very far away. 

“Gone? What do you mean gone?”

“I mean she’s been drugged, her pupils are the size of dinner plates.” Falman says. “Lieutenant, can you hear me?”

She coughs as she turns her gaze towards him, Falman with his slanted eyes that give way to tendrils instead of eyelashes.

“How are you moving like that?” She asks weakly, her eyes can barely adjust to the assault of senseless information.

“Shit,” Falman hisses, “Colonel, come in, we’ve got a problem.”

Riza lifts one hand but finds she cannot focus on it, all she sees is her skin shifting tones from white to blue to green to purple to-

“Hawkeye, how many fingers am I holding up?” Falman asks.

She shifts her focus to him, “Your face is melting.”

“Oh fuck ,” Havoc groans.

“Can you sit up for me?” Falman holds out his hands to her.

She looks down and feels her eyes widen as water pours freely from his sleeves where his hands should be.

“This is Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, we need medical back up immediately.”

“I don’t want to swim,” she says, bouncing her gaze back up to Falman’s face.

“Okay, up we go,” Falman sits her up and she squirms away from his touch.

“Hey cumsack, you want to explain what the fuck you gave to the Lieutenant?” Havoc shoves his gun between Koffner’s shoulder blades. The crime lord sneers in response but says nothing.

“We’re still in the Halo Room, sir.” Falman presses on his ear but all Riza can see is an amalgamation of shadows converging into a tall forest and the whispers begin in earnest. She feels like she’s in some fucked up fairytale.

“Lieutenant!?” Colonel Mustang dashes into the room and grips her shoulders. “Lieutenant, what happened? Are you hurt?”

Riza levels her gaze with his, her shoulders tingling under his touch. “I think I died.”

“What?” Roy asks, terror gripping him instantly.

“Seems like she got a free sample of whatever fucko the clown over here was peddling.” Havoc says through grit teeth.

Roy snaps his gaze over to the criminal in question and snarls, “What did you do to my Lieutenant?”

Koffner is retaining his right to silence but Roy is ready to send him to a different judge altogether. Then Riza starts coughing and his attention returns to her. His rage morphs so quickly into panic it nearly gives Falman and Havoc whiplash.

“Get some water and an ice pack,” Mustang says, slipping out of his coat and draping it across her shoulders.

She shivers at the contact and writhes beneath the touch of his hands.

“On it chief!” Falman springs into action.

“Colonel,” she whimpers… it’s far more sexual than anyone in the room is comfortable with.

“Deep breaths, Lieutenant, try to relax.”

“There are shadow people here, they can’t find you.” She says, looking over his shoulder where her mind is conjuring images of coalescing shadows merging into a creature.

“I’m safe,” he answers matter of factly.

“Oh…” she huffs, her breath keeps being stolen by the trees and the people around her. She hardly knows where to look, her stomach twists and her head begins to throb as she takes it all in. Whatever drug she’s been slipped has given her a one way ticket to hell.

Falman returns with a bottle of water, “Bar’s nearly cleared out and medical is on its way. Breda and Hughes are securing the area.”

“Good, get an arresting officer in here, now.” Mustang instructs before offering the water to Riza.

“I don’t drink blood,” she slurs, pushing the bottle away. The world is tumbling around her and none of it makes sense.

“Not blood, it’s water,” Mustang tries to offer it again.

She shakes her head, “It’ll… make it worse… maybe.”

“I promise it won’t,” he insists. “If you won’t drink it, at least tell me what’s going on, how are you feeling?”

She looks him dead in the eye, pupils still blown wide. “It-it’s like my skin’s… on fire but like… not real fire… like every time someone touches me… it’s like my skin feels good and bad and too much all at once.”

The look Roy wears as he slowly removes his hand from her shoulder would be hilarious under any other circumstance.

“Your eyes look like rubies or… black… rubies… it’s geometric… it’s freaking me out,” she admits. “And I’m pretty sure your hair is snakes… are snakes?”

“Alright I think I’m well informed on your condition, close your eyes and try to relax.” Mustang reaches out to touch her but hesitates to do so considering the um… previously made implication.

Riza closes her eyes and sees a flurry of fireworks behind her lids. The world is shifting and swirling and growing into some new tangentially related thing.

“I want medical in here now , and get that fucker talking.” Mustang snaps over his shoulder.

“Doing my best chief,” Havoc says through grit teeth.

“I’ll give you five seconds to tell me what you laced her drink with or I will turn you into ash.” Mustang’s fist collides with Koffner’s jaw.

There’s the sounds of a struggle but also the sounds of the world creeping in on Riza from all angles. Mechanical roots clunk their way out of the ground and capture her ankles, she opens her mouth and a deluge of rain water hits her lap.

Yes, it is vomit, but she doesn’t recognize that, though her head starts to ache more prominently when she opens her eyes.

“Shit,” Mustang is back to her side in a flash.

“Did you let the bird out?” She asks, dazed and panting for breath.

“Honestly sir, the vomiting is good, it’ll help her come down from it faster.” Havoc tries to placate his now erratic boss.

“How long? How long will she be like this?” Mustang snaps.

“Depends - could be a few more minutes, could be hours.”

“Fuck .”

“Colonel?” Riza’s voice comes out in a garbled rasp.

“I’m here.”

“I’m scared,” she admits feebly.

“Help is coming, I promise.”

There are more people than before, people with no faces who are asking her questions. She claws at one of them and tries her best to not to scream when Mustang tells her that they’re trying to help but she needs to let them. 

She’s terrified, she’s in a new unfamiliar world and she doesn’t know what to do. Nothing feels real, nothing feels right, so she keeps thrashing and screaming and begging for help.

She thinks he’s holding her when she fades away, holding her down is probably more accurate.

Chapter Text

Riza comes to in a panic, her body is still alight with sensations she's never experienced before, she's trembling, rocking even. And she's so very confused.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye? Can you hear me?"

A voice she doesn't recognize towers above her as she opens her eyes. Horror engulfs her vision still, a face full of mirrors, a monster with vines instead of fingers tries to pry her eye open to shine a spotlight into it.

"Colonel!?" She cries out.

"You're in an ambulance, ma'am, I need you to stay calm." One of the creatures says with a voice that warbles in the air.

Wrong, wrong, wrong; it's all wrong and Mustang isn't here and what if he's in trouble-

"Lieutenant, try to breathe for me."

"Get away!" She thrashes against them.

She has to get to Mustang, he was with her before, she remembers him trying to comfort her. Now he's gone and he's in danger because the world is full of monsters and she's terrified he'll die without her.

"Lieutenant, we need you to calm down-"

She claws at the creature above her and elbows the one beside it. She has to get out, she has to find him, she has to get to him. Mustang, her colonel, Roy, needs her now.

Tendrils wrap around her wrists before she can lunge at the door, the world lurches violently as she's torn back down.

"Let me go!" She screams.

"Ma'am, we need you-"

"Clearly, talking her down isn't working! Sedate her already!"

"We don't know what she's taken!"

"She's gonna make us crash!"

Riza takes her wrist and tries to bite through the vine that has captured her.

"Fuck!" The monster above her yelps in pain.

The world is spinning and jolting around her as she tries to leap for the door again. She's sick and terrified and she needs to know that Mustang is okay. She's scared, so very scared.

Her shoulder is wrenched down to the gurney, laying her flat as her hands are tied to the bed beneath her.

"Stop! Please!" She starts sobbing as she tries to make sense of this frightening terrible world she's fallen into.

"Ma'am this is for your own safety, I know you're scared but we're trying to help you."

"Let me go! Please! Let me go!" Riza's still thrashing as her other side is tied down.

"Sedate her, she's going to hurt herself."

"No,"

Riza tries to worm out of the restraints, kicking her legs in a frantic attempt to release herself. All she can see is a horrible other world, a place full of darkness, a world that shimmers and shifts in unbelievable ways. Closing her eyes is almost worse than forcing them open.

She's living in a nightmare, she can't breathe because the panic fills her throat like water in a stopped up drain. She can't hide in the darkness of her eyelids because even there the shadows become figures with claws and teeth primed to maim her.

"Help me," she whimpers pathetically. "Roy, help me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"We're almost to the hospital, ma'am, just hold on a little longer."

She writhes against the restraints, they prickle against her hyper-sensitive skin and she can't stop crying. It hurts and she's feeling far too much, her body feels like it's on fire. She's being held captive and what if Roy is dead? What if he's hurt? What if he's just as scared as her?

"Patient's name is Riza Hawkeye, her drink was laced with a cocktail of drugs, we've had to restrain her after a violent outburst in the ambulance."

"Let's get a blood sample, the sooner we figure out what's in her system the better."

The world is shifting again, violently sparkling and so loud she's afraid she'll go deaf.

"Ma'am do you-"

"Don't bother, she's gone."

"Roy?" Riza calls out in the futile hope that he'll appear by her side once more.

Instead she's pricked and prodded, everything hurts and she can't stop screaming.

"Help me, please, help me," she tries to move away from the clawed hands that assault her.

She's surrounded by doctors and nurses trying to evaluate her but all she can see is creatures that want her to suffer.

"She's not slowing down," one of them says.

"Whatever she's got in her system isn't letting go without a fight."

Riza whimpers, "Please let me go."

Another prick that feels like a stab shocks through her, her body tenses instinctively. Her eyes screw up in pain as she continues to cry out for help. Then her heart seems to calm, her muscles completely relax and consciousness begins to leave her.

She fights that too, she's so tired but she's too frightened to give in. She doesn't want to die, which is the only explanation her mind can conjure for what she's experiencing, she has to make it through this.

"Roy… Roy, please, help me," she whimpers as her eyes close against her will.

"It'll be safe to transfer her… in a minute… right…"

Riza clutches at consciousness, her eyes leak tears, her skin burns, and she begs to stay. She begs to stay but she can't, the beyond calls too urgently. Her final thought before totally succumbing?

I failed.