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A faint rustle woke up June.
She stirred, and murmured a bit before faintly opening her eyes. And even through bleary vision she realised Ryan wasn’t asleep next to her.
He was…standing in the bedroom doorway, not facing her.
“Ryan…?” June mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. She didn’t even realise Ryan’s jacket was draped over her, instead paying attention to the fact that the room was absolutely trashed around them.
“Ryan…” June said again, more awake, and definitely concerned. “What the hell happened. Why is the room trashed?” She moved a bit, ready to get off the bed if necessary.
She could see that Ryan was shaking heavily as he clenched his fists. He was just standing still and making small noises that sounded like…sobs?
“Ryan-“ she got cut off by him facing her. He looked terrible. She could see the tears rushing down his face even in the dark, he had also very notable eye bags, his hair was messy. He looked like-…
He looked like the others.
Before June could say anything else…
“H-Help…” he choked out, sounding more child like than his normal, nonchalant tone. “She…she won’t get out of my head...she’s too loud…”
He began hyperventilating, choking on his own tears as he hit his head, acting a bit more frantic. “…s-she’s…SHE’S TOO LOUD! SHE’S TOO LOUD! SHE’S TOO LOUD! MAKE IT STOP!”
His knees gave out as he collapsed against the doorway, pulling at his own hair now.
“STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!-“
June got up in an instant and ran over, kneeling down in front of him and trying to stable him. “Woah! Hey! Ryan, calm down!” She held his shoulders firmly. She was a bit panicked that Ryan was now talking about this “her”, whoever she was, like the others.
But unlike the others…he didn’t seem to be happy about it.
“I-IT’S TOO LOUD! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!” He yelled at “her”. He was shaking with each sob, hands shaking as he desperately covered his ears to block out the nonexistent noise.
June in a desperate attempt to calm him just…pulled him closer and held him. “Hey…hey…it’s okay…just…I’m here. I’m here…”
Ryan began to calm down a bit, slumping against June and resting his head on her shoulder. “I-I…I’m scared…” he reluctantly admitted, “of…being…vulnerable…s-she keeps saying that…if I just join her…it’ll be okay…”
June was shocked. Ryan seemed to be doing just well this entire time, he was literally making jokes but…in reality…he must’ve been terrified and just…pretended not to be.
“Ryan…” June muttered, she felt so guilty for not recognising his masking sooner, but she just pulled him close. “It’s okay. The noise will go away…don’t listen to her…”
Minutes went by. Ryan occasionally would freak out a bit when the “noise” got too loud again or “she” kept talking, but June would just calm him down more. She would mumble things like…
“Hey…don’t listen to her…”
“I’m here…just focus on me…”
“Don’t focus on her or the noise…just my voice.”
“You don’t have to pretend anymore.”
Eventually Ryan went from hysterically sobbing, to crying heavily, to just crying. And eventually just began to sniffle a bit, still shaking a bit.
“There we go…” June said softly, “are you ok…?” Ryan nodded. “Y-Yea…I can’t hear her anymore…t-there’s no more noise.” He pulled back a bit to wipe his eyes and fidget with his hands, looking away.
June helped him up and both sat down on the bed. Ryan sat man spread, head in his hands, while June sat more causally, wanting to ask a million questions but waiting for Ryan to talk first.
And after a while…
“…I’m sorry June.” Ryan sounded like he was trying to sound like he normally did. That same chill, nonchalant tone, but failing to do so. “It’s just…I’m…I’m scared. I’m scared if that I’m vulnerable, if I open up even a bit…none of you will see me as…me anymore.”
June tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but he moved away, seemingly ashamed of himself. “And…I began hearing her…she said if I join her and the others…everything’ll go away…and I won’t have to worry anymore.”
He finally got his head out of his hand and looked over at her, straightening his back. “But…I didn’t want to. I tried to fight it, which is why I trashed the room, to distract myself. But…it got louder…and louder. And I was about to leave when-“
“Ryan!”
He stopped, going silent. June didn’t look at him with pity like he expected but just…raw concern. “I’m so sorry if I made you feel like this. Like you couldn’t open up yourself because you were trying to make others happy. You’re not just some jester…”
“You’re a human. With emotions, and you need to express them, around others as well!” June put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder. She faintly smiled.
“You…you mean it?” Ryan asked hesitantly. But June just nodded softly, “yes.”
Ryan suddenly hugged her, beginning to cry again. “Thank you June. I promise, we’re gonna make it out of here. Together.” He explained.
June hugged him back, “you bet we are…and if she tries to talk to you again or even me …we’ll know what to do.”
They eventually laid back down. Ryan held his jacket as work sort of comfort item, closing eyes as he buried his teary face into it. A blanket draped over both of them, slowly helping them doze back off.
“Night Ryan…” June mumbled.
“…night June.” Ryan mumbled back.